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Subject: OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (July 11, 2016)
OORick
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posted on 7-11-2016 at 11:53 PM
OOfficial Discussion Thread for: RAW (July 11, 2016)
Tonight on RAW: Vince McMahon is slated to appear, and lay out the ground rules for next week's Brand Split.... despite the non-stop
parade of former General Managers who have made cameo appearances lately, it seems most likely that he will place one show under Shane's control
and the other under Stephanie's....
Remember, this whole current "co-controllership" thing was just a lame-ass ret-con job when WWE decided to ignore the stipulation of the Shane/Taker
WM match, and it's just sort of dragged on, though Vince has consistantly said he's watching and grading both his kids... now that
we've all forgotten that old WM stipulation, I'm sure tonight is Vince finalizing the figureheads only one week before the Split goes into
effect... the only question is, once he assigns a COO to each brand (which is the title WWE has started using), is that COO an every-week/hands-on
boss, or will they be a part time character who delegates to a GM (which is something I'd approve of, given that Shane already only works 2-3
weeks per month, and it's REALLY easy to get sick of Steph)...
While a major effort will be underway tonight to set us up for the Split/Draft, RAW will also be efforting to make sure we're all fired up for
the Battleground PPV, which takes place in 2 weeks...
The top 3 matches for that show are Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns (Triple Threat for the WWE Title), Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens (final
ultimate grudge match), and John Cena/Enzo/Cass vs. The Club.... Ambrose and Rollins haven't had any trouble, so far, in terms of keeping their
match high profile, despite Reigns conspicuous absence... last Thursday, they weaved the Usos into the story, which is something they could reprise,
if they need a surrogate for Roman...
Zayn and Owens have already done everything they need to establish their match, but to kill time, they've got Chris Jericho lurking on the
fringes of their issue... after last Thursday, a Zayn/???? vs. JeriKO match would seem almost automatic, ideally with "??????" being someone of
substance so that Jericho can break off into a feud of his own, rather than spinning his wheels sticking his nose in other people's business
(or, I guess, they could just plug Ambrose into the tag match, and cross the streams on two of the top stories)...
The alliance among Cena, Enzo, and Big Cass only developed last week, and things should essentially write themselves leading up to the 6-man tag at
the PPV.... just mix and match various singles matches, with ample mic time for everybody, and voila, you're there.... we already burned Styles
vs. Enzo last Thursday, but it was built up in such a way that Styles vs. Cass would be a very logical next step...
Other things we know for sure are happening tonight:
The New Day are going to the "Wyatt Compound" for a showdown of an unspecified nature.... sounds like WWE wants to show TNA that you can do a wonky
"off-site" fight, but not have it be have as awful as "The Final Deletion" was...
Rusev says he'll grant Zack Ryder a US Title shot if Ryder has the guts to show up... it's been phrased very awkwardly (with Rusev's
conditional "if Ryder does so-and-so"), so there could be some BS way to get out of it, but I'll just take it at face value that the match is
a done deal, and it's just a way to mark time until the rosters are split, and Rusev can settle in for a new long term program..
There will be a 20 man battle royale, and the winner will be the new #1 Contender to Miz's IC Title... FWIW, Miz has been working with Darren
Young on house shows, and this could be the impetus for "Making Darren Young Great Again," with Bob Backlund in his corner...
And as we gear up for Sasha Banks challenging Charlotte for the women's title, tonight, Sasha has to face Charlotte's protege in
one-on-one action that is sure to be anything other than one-on-one by the time it's over...
The rest: WWE announced Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton for SummerSlam, in the most anticlimactic way possible, and now, they have to retroactively try
to create a reason for the match to exist.... tonight, they might just skate by on hyping how Lesnar dominated his UFC fight on Saturday, but
eventually, Randall will have to show up and convince us we should care.... Becky Lynch vs. Natalya is a going concern, with Becky playing the role of
Lady Sting (who gets stabbed in the back by every friend she makes).... after a lengthy hiatus, Big Show was the leader of "Team America" in last
week's 16-man main event, and wound up as co-winner along with Ryder; I doubt it was a one-week drop-in, so perhaps Show will find a fresh
rivalry in the near term.... on the flip side, Sheamus is floundering to the point where he could use a hiatus; he is totally use dup as a heel at
this point, and either a face turn or a full character reboot may be in order.... the Golden Truth are quietly on a winning streak, but who knows if
it's a real push, or just something to make sure WWE has enough crowd pleasing filler material once they start asking us to watch 5 hours of
wrestling in 2 nights....
That is all. End communication....
The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome.
So discuss, debate, and rate!
Count Zero
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 01:17 AM
And suddenly, Darren Young was great again.
TonyTH
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 01:19 AM
Haha, loud Darren Young chants too. That's great.
Backland makes me happy. I'm glad it looks like he's sticking around. Picking up Darren and running around the ring was hilarious.
Edit: It loooks like they are gonna parody The Final Deletion with the Wyatts and the New Day. I'm way more excited than I should be.
[Edited on 7-12-2016 by TonyTH]
janerd75
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 01:29 AM
I, for one, am glad Darren Young is gay again. Wait...
Also, for future reference, please Randall reference Mark Hunt in your return promo.
The science is settled: Fuck Everybody
Old Man Crunk with an early candidate for line of the night re: Nia Jaxx. "Face like Pam Grier, body like Rosey Grier."
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 01:40 AM
quote:Originally posted by janerd75
I, for one, am glad Darren Young is gay again. Wait...
Also, for future reference, please Randall reference Mark Hunt in your return promo.
It'd be vintage Orton if Randy went into full promo-botch and started calling him Mike instead of Mark.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
Count Zero
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 01:57 AM
Anybody wanna set the over/under on what percentage of the audience doesn't realize this Rollins/Reigns thing is a spliced/rigged/faked
interview?
Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"
"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"
Il Palazzo
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 02:00 AM
Too many? I'm still stuck in a mindset of whenever someone does something with a guy that you know won't be legitimately involved,
they'll simply be replaced with the midget version of themselves. And then it never happens, and I'm slightly disappointed.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
CM Crunk
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 02:12 AM
Dear GOD was it nice to see Ambrose dip into his Moxley reserve and get to deliver a serious promo. I love the guy but I'd be lying if I said I
didn't wish he was more like this more often and allowed to play up some, y'know, actual lunacy in his gimmick.
Edit: Vince's signature two-tone neck ties have been bugging the shit out of me for a while now. He's like the white Steve Harvey when it
comes to wearing and accessorizing a suit. Matter of fact I'd love to see the two of them at the Player Haters Ball. I smell a WWE Network
Special.
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 02:19 AM
Um, guys...
The science is settled: Fuck Everybody
Old Man Crunk with an early candidate for line of the night re: Nia Jaxx. "Face like Pam Grier, body like Rosey Grier."
Count Zero
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 02:20 AM
So Vince finally admits after all these years, on-screen and to RENEE~! no less, that he's just been making shit up for years?
Who had "Commisioner" in the "what the hell are they calling the authority figures now?" pool? Please contact Janerd to find out about your
prize.
Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"
"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"
TonyTH
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 02:26 AM
My bet, based on only the fact that he specifically mentioned Commissioner by name, is it's going to be Foley.
janerd75
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 02:39 AM
I like Renee's 'There's Something About Mary' hair.
The science is settled: Fuck Everybody
Old Man Crunk with an early candidate for line of the night re: Nia Jaxx. "Face like Pam Grier, body like Rosey Grier."
Count Zero
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 02:39 AM
Practice? We talkin' bout...
BEAT(IN) UP JOHN CENA?
[Edited on 7-12-2016 by Count Zero]
Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"
"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"
janerd75
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:00 AM
Neat. The Final Deletion with higher production values. And black guys being hunted in the woods of Louisiana by a bunch of crazy rednecks. Jesus
Christ, Vince...
The science is settled: Fuck Everybody
Old Man Crunk with an early candidate for line of the night re: Nia Jaxx. "Face like Pam Grier, body like Rosey Grier."
CM Crunk
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:03 AM
quote:Originally posted by janerd75
Neat. The Final Deletion with higher production values. And black guys being hunted in the woods of Louisiana by a bunch of crazy
rednecks. Jesus Christ, Vince...
The Final Deletion was absolutely the inspiration, but they have no idea what made that video great in it's own dumb way.
Count Zero
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:09 AM
quote:Originally posted by TonyTH
The Final Deletion was absolutely the inspiration, but they have no idea what made that video great in it's own dumb way.
Yeah, this is
how i felt.
I kept waiting for something "absurd" (or, alternately, ultraviolent and genre-breaking) to happen. Mostly it was played seriously, no laughs, and
ended up with a lot of the old "gay spooky" problems that plagued the Undertaker. (Why were there camera crews there? and so forth.)
It was a "serious" segment that tried to be "serious" and "bizarre like a grindhouse horror movie". I think it only managed the serious part.
Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"
"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"
janerd75
The Rowdy One
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:19 AM
quote:Originally posted by TonyTH
The Final Deletion was absolutely the inspiration, but they have no idea what made that video great in it's own dumb way.
I saw better execution at Benoit's Final Deletion.
It's a new OO, yes it is.
The science is settled: Fuck Everybody
Old Man Crunk with an early candidate for line of the night re: Nia Jaxx. "Face like Pam Grier, body like Rosey Grier."
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:21 AM
quote:Originally posted by CM Crunk
quote:Originally posted by janerd75
Neat. The Final Deletion with higher production values. And black guys being hunted in the woods of Louisiana by a bunch of crazy
rednecks. Jesus Christ, Vince...
FTFY
Late-night lynching illuminated with vehicle headlights (and a helicopter searchlight) as done with production values. And a plot too. Qualifies as
epic, nay, legendary.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
Matte
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:38 AM
It's a dilapidated car!
"I'm a professional. I know exactly what I'm doing." - Jeff Hardy
Count Zero
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:39 AM
quote:Originally posted by Matte
It's a dilapidated car!
You win. I'm not sure what prize we have to give you, but I think this is the most appropriate reaction
so far.
Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"
"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"
Il Palazzo
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 03:54 AM
Maybe a drone that projects holographic sheep mask-wearing unicorns.
You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.
Count Zero
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 04:02 AM
No, I can't give that away, that's the drone I use to terrorize Janer..... I didn't say that, and you didn't hear me say that.
Eta: Oooo. So we get the Obvious Commissioners, but have to wait a week to see who the General Managers are.
And then, I suppose another week to find out who are the Presidents of the Senate and First Ministers of each show.
[Edited on 7-12-2016 by Count Zero]
Originally posted by williamssl
"That hasn't stopped us from doing this shit before!"
"Checkmate, sir. Checkmate"
janerd75
The Rowdy One
Posts 2806
Registered 1-28-2013 Location Castle Gayskull Member Is Offline
Old Man Crunk with an early candidate for line of the night re: Nia Jaxx. "Face like Pam Grier, body like Rosey Grier."
Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni
Posts 6109
Registered 1-19-2008 Location huhhhhhh Member Is Online
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posted on 7-12-2016 at 04:16 AM
That was pointless, even by the noticeably declining standards of McMahon family segments of the recent past. Vince, too old now, botches his lines
too much. Shane, really doesn't seem to want to be there. Steph, no where near as much fun as when she was all shrieky and slutty.
You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling
