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Author: Subject: XPW Remixed presents "Grand Conjunction"
Man of a Thousand Holds

Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
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Mood: No Mood.

posted on 12-30-2012 at 05:16 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
XPW Remixed presents "Grand Conjunction"

XPW Remixed presents...

** XPW Unification Match **
John Cena (2012) � versus Lou Thesz (1955) �
Boston title versus XPW World title!!

** Best of the Best 2 Tournament FINALS**
feat. Rashad Cameron (the BLKJeez)

** XPW TV title **
Mark Henry � versus Matt Morgan
(special referee: "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers)

** "Best of 7 Series" (#7) **
Gorgeous George vs Human Tornado
Loser adopts the winners gimmick!!

Jack Brisco vs Alberto Del Rio vs Tommaso Ciampa!
(Glass Ceiling Triple Threat Match)

** XPW Remixed Woman�s championship **
Mildred Burke � versus Awesome Kong
(Rematch of the Century!!)

** Xtreme Grudge Match **
Strangler Lewis versus Sami Callihan
(Unsanctioned Streetfight)

** XPW Tag Team titles **
Road Warriors � versus Truly Bad Intentions (Ryback & Machine Gun)

Dean Ambrose vs. Atsushi Onita
(�No Holds Barred/Exploding Ropes/ Barbed Wire Murder Match� )


Join the amazing world of Mash-Up Wrestling!


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Man of a Thousand Holds

Posts 1134
Registered 3-7-2002
Location Brockton MA
Member Is Offline

Mood: No Mood.

posted on 12-30-2012 at 05:18 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote

Trish def. Alexxis
(Postmatch Alexxis begrudgingly accepts the handshake of mutual respect)

Lord Tensai def. Pogo the Clown
(After the match Tensai kills his own valet Jessica Darlin for the thrill of the crowd - pulverizing her into submission position. The sexual deviants in the crowd chant "XPW!" and "SHEZ A SLUT! in appreciation")

Headhunterz w/ Tamina def. Uso's
(Uso's are certified West Coast fan favorites with the Tamina turn - but HHz are too big too strong. Twin moonsaults followed by a superfly splash from Tamina seal the deal)

Dead Poets Society def. MCMG, Colt Cabana & Cryme Tyme 2.0
(The Skull & Bones clique of Genius, FabKangs, Damien Sandow & Wild Red Berry go up 2-0 against their foils in joint competition. Their solo ineptitude on 5-Point Show (Award Tour) is quickly flushed away in victory)

The win also helps catapult the Dead Poets Society into a new stratosphere of social awareness - including the opportunity for Wild Red Berry to go face-to-nose with the legendary Groucho Marx on primetime television! Check it out!

** CUT **


Ringside Announce Team:

Matt Striker & TNA Taz

Pyro - music - screaming fans. Commentators open the show, run down the card, hype the move of XPW TV to FX channel, and build anticipation for the epic level main event tonight - winner to face NWA Champion Dusty Rhodes tommorrow!!

Sponsored by:



** Best of the Best 2 **


versus versus

Entertaining slambang match-up to start. All 3 men start with joint wrestling exchanges before graduating to momentum-propelled attacks and culminating with an insane array of aerial strikes and daredevil maneuvers. Loud �XPW!� chants to rival any cruiser weight or X-Division out there today, including some of the very first �PLEASE DON�T DIE� chants directed at the competitors. In a convoluted and tarnished fashion, XPW VP Toots Mondt wound up at ringside to monitor a malfunctioning bell timer - only to wind up tossing the ringside hammer to Rashad Cameron at the most opportune moment. BING! Rashad Cameron (aka "BLKJeez") clocks Ruckus with the hammer, thus completing his turn into completely jealous psycho player hater. To top it all off at the end (and garner that extra-level crowd heat) Rashad Cameron shakes hands with Mister Mondt - donning the symbolic necktie and fedora as well! Essentially crossing over, selling out, accepting the trophy, and becoming a corporate thug! Ruckus & London can only look on in disdain and defeat as Rashad Cameron ("BLKJeez") accepts the Tournament Trophy and becomes one with �the man��


** CUT **


�XPW Remixed moves to FX Channel
(new boss same as old)

Backstage interlude with XPW VP Toots Mondt� Strangler Lewis is preparing for his match tonight and not answering any questions. Mondt is in charge for the evening and touts the big move to the FX network. Executives are arriving as we speak. Word of this move has been made public and internet columnists everywhere have touched on the subject� much like another famous �sale� that didn�t go as planned�

** Excerpts from an article posted @ �SLAM! Wrestling:

Finally. The drama that has been going on over the sale of XPW Remixed has come to an end.

The winner? Meet Fusient Media Ventures. The boss? Same as the old boss, Strangler Lewis. Upon his return Lewis is also bringing television writer Vince Russo to put together the angles and scripts for. According to the press release, Fusient has entered into an agreement to acquire XPW Remixed. GDT Inc. will retain a minority interest in the company and retain the rights to the broadcasts. Classic Sports Network founders Brian Bedol and Stephen Greenberg are behind Fusient Media Ventures. ESPN acquired Classic Sports Network a while back.

Bedol will be the new CEO. Strangler Lewis will assume the role of president. The partnership of Bedol, Greenberg and Strangler Lewis brings together more than 50 years of combined experience in the entertainment, television and sports industries. "We're going to reestablish it as the champion of professional wrestling entertainment," said Brian Bedol in the release. "There is huge untapped potential for the franchise and with Strangler Lewis on board we will crank everything up to make the franchise even bigger, better, stronger and more entertaining than anything wrestling fans have ever experienced before."

"We are pleased to have reached an agreement with Fusient Media Ventures that truly represents a win for all parties," said Bradley J. Siegel, president of general entertainment networks, TBS, Inc. "The Fusient management team's experience in programming, production and marketing at Classic Sports Network lends itself perfectly to the business. Their entrepreneurial business-building expertise, combined with the powerhouse brands and distribution that FX Superstation provides, will be a winning combination."

"Wrestling fans can rest assured that we will give the adrenaline shot it needs to once again become the most exciting brand of wrestling in the world," said Strangler Lewis. Fusient Media Ventures is focused on identifying, funding, developing and distributing next generation content and converged media brands. The company is headquartered in New York, with offices in Los Angeles.

** SLAM! Wrestling column **


** Best of 7 Series **

(�Loser Adopts the Winners Gimmick�)


Highly entertaining capper to this �fantasy wrestling feud gone viral�. Every match in their catalog of 6 previous bouts is referenced in some fashion, with the unwritten 7th being furiously delivered. Gorgeous George uses every bit of chicanery he can - from poking Human Tornado in the eyes - to hiding behind the referee (even pulling him in front of a Tornado suicide plancha at one point). In the end, Human Tornado seemingly outslicks George for the last time - hitting a somersault leg drop to the groin and twisting him into a pin� but at the last moment, Gorgeous George reverses Tornado into a roll-up - grabs the tights - and presses the ring ropes for leverage! 1!.. 2!.. 3!! �The Human Orchid� has just earned himself a new-school Jeeves! The look of shock and disappointment from Human Tornado is palpable, while Gorgeous George primps, poses and preens in celebration�



"The Age of Enron"

Backstage interlude focusing on the limousine arrival of the executives (eagerly awaited by Mondt and crew)... only to reveal Jim Crockett & Dusty Rhodes! They're here with skybox tickets to the show and word to Mondt & Lewis: the jig is up... Fallout will continue to be felt for years, and the political ramifications are so severe they may never truly be untangled. But whistleblowers everywhere would rejoice over the fall of GDT Inc, including angry and bitter NWA wrestler Tom Zenk - who took to the internet later in the day to shed more light on these unsavory dealings...

"The end of fiscal report notes that all of the intellectual properties and assets of XPW Remixed including the trade name, tape library and other intangible assets were sold for a staggeringly low $2.5 million. This is despite an offer from Fusient Media Group for $48.3 million, just days prior to the sale. The Fusient offer included a $5 million deposit - so, even if the deal had collapsed, Channel 13 on the Dumont Network would have picked up double what they've now got. Moreover, Fusient had agreed to take over every contract - relieving AOL-Time Warner of more than $15 million in salary payouts. Instead, as thing now stand, will be paying Strangler Lewis more in one year than all the money they got from the sale.

When I raised questions about the attempted Fusient buyout last December, I was personally attacked by front man Jack Pfefer. This week, Pfefer claims "Tom Zenk, who I took shots at for his comments about the buyout attempt ... had an excellent analysis of the [sale] situation a couple of weeks ago. He's absolutely right about the things he said about Strangler Lewis." Pfefer now claims "There should be criminal investigation into the entire thing. Firing Strangler isn't good enough. His actions raise enough questions that the authorities should take a look at exactly how this thing went down."

** Tom Zenk **

** CUT **


** XPW Television title **

(w/ special referee �Nature Boy� Buddy Rogers)


Special referee

�Nature Boy� Buddy Rogers (former XPW Remixed champion) gets the biggest PPV entrance of the match. The two gargantuan Mark Henry & Matt Morgan live up to the hype and produce a �Godzilla vs. King Kong� slugfest. They run the gamut from tests of strength to bear hug reversals and shoulder block exchanges. Meanwhile Buddy Rogers plays the middle like a maestro, directing traffic and engaging the audience. At one point towards the end Buddy Rogers actively *stops* Morgan from completing a Carbon Footprint on a dazed Mark Henry� but shortly thereafter *prevents* Mark Henry from completing a �World�s Strongest Slam� on Morgan as well! Mark Henry furiously questions Rogers motives, followed closely by Matt Morgan. But it is the �Blueprint� who is brazen enough to poke a finger in Rogers chest. When Morgan in spun around in another quick exchange with Mark Henry - Buddy Rogers finally strikes: lowblow to Morgan from behind! The Blueprint is wide-eyed in pain and stunned amazement! He falls right into a WSS!! Buddy Rogers falls into position and ruthlessly counts the pinfall! Mark Henry retains! Post match, it is a big production (by Rogers of course) of him presenting the TV title to Henry and declaring him the champion. Matt Morgan is summarily disposed of by a 2-on-1 beating by Rogers & Henry (culminating in a WSS on steel steps dragged into the ring).

Winner (and STILL XPW TV champion): MARK HENRY (2011)

** CUT **


"Strangler Lewis sabotaged his own company"
excerpts of �From the Desk of Jack Pfefer�

Word of the FX collapse traveled quickly. The questionable book keeping of XPW was brought to the forefront by exiled Jack Pfefer (who spilled everybody's secrets when he was blackballed from the company - nearly destroying pro wrestling itself with his actions) - but it was Jim Crockett who made sure FX executives got a good hard look at the numbers before the transaction was completed. They caught numerous discrepancies and underhanded dealings - and were forced to pull out. After manuevering himself OFF the Dumont Network, Strangler Lewis & Toots Mondt have suddenly found themselves without a television home for their company. They have become worthless. Tom Zenk also chimes in:

(1) "Strangler Lewis took steps to make sure the company was of no value to anyone."

(2) "While Fusient was still at the negotiating table [and negotiating in good faith], Strangler Lewis was contacting his friend Stu Snyder at the WWF to figure out what needed to be done to make sure the WWF got the deal." According to Pfefer, Strangler Lewis and " Stu Snyder (the top WWF exec who brokered the deal and works under Rav-P) were friends and co-workers when Snyder worked with Time Warner.

(3) "When it became obvious that the only way they could get back in the hunt to buy XPW Remixed would be if the shows were cancelled...that's exactly what Jim Crockett made sure happened."

(4) "Strangler Lewis sabotaged his own company by convincing Kellner to cancel the shows. He did that AFTER he made a call to Stu Snyder and found out the only way he could make a deal with FX was to cancel the shows [on Dumont Network]." But once the shows were cancelled on FX, that narrowed the potential buyers to one."

(5)"The Fusient offer was still on the table until the shows were cancelled."

(6) "There were at least four offers from people who were willing to pay much more than. �Not in best interests of stockholders.." The nub of Pfefer�s argument is that whatever Strangler Lewis� reasons for getting rid of XPW Remixed - "Strangler's actions weren't in the best interest of stockholders..." "How stupid do you have to be not to realize that it's a better business decision to take an offer of say $20 million with $5 million paid upfront in cash as opposed to a deal totaling $2.5 million that leaves you liable for $15 million in salary to people who will be sitting home taking paychecks for three years?" "The way Strangler Lewis handled the company was at best inept leadership. At worst it was criminal. It wouldn't shock me to see the real story surface one day, and when it does it won't be pretty" says Pfefer. The "whole story" and the "best interests of stockholders" are matters on which the SEC may now be asked to adjudicate. According to Pfefer - " There has been a growing sense of outrage as information starts to confirm what was suspected, and I know of several people who are consulting lawyers."

** TOM ZENK **


** Card is Subject To Change **

It started with an airplane trip by Rob Black to Japan in XPW Original (Season 3)... it ends tonight with the fantasy wrestling no-show of Onita. The �No Holds Barred/Exploding Ropes/ Barbed Wire Murder Match� previously scheduled between Onita & Dean Ambrose has been *CANCELLED*. Here's a few words from Dean Ambrose himself to kill time...

Dean Ambrose reveals he's been asked to step in against Sami Callihan tonight instead. But (shout out to Dino Bravo RIP) - the checks never cleared. Dean Ambrose drops the mic and walks out of XPW Remixed - effectively "quitting" live on the air in an unrestrained "shoot" interview (you know it was a "shoot" because the commentators went silent and Ambrose had his mic cut after a few minutes of starting)

** CUT **


(Xtreme Grudge Match)


The video recap package and arena walkouts of both men alone is chilling and awe-inspiring - including Strangler Lewis first on-screen appearance all night. Both men look like serial killers entering into a blood frenzy. Both men hold their respective, unsanctioned championship belts aloft and have an epic stare down (�AWA� versus �KotDM�). The announcers can�t even finish the introductions before Sami Callihan lunges across the ring and we�re off! Strangler Lewis uses a lot of leverage holds, grapples and side headlock takedowns to try and stymie Sami�s attack - but the �New Horror� cannot be denied. His aggressive brawling style escalates the match until both men have tumbled through the ropes and are going to war at ringside! Into the guardrails, ring posts and fan seats! Since the beginning of XPW Remixed, there has always been at least one segment that features a motley crew of unrestrained run-ins and Xtreme pseudo-culture. Here - Strangler Lewis unwittingly finds himself drawn into their hardcore web.

It starts with a double collision spot and both men are down� enter SANDMAN! Through the crowd from the bleachers, cane-waving, beer swilling, crowd popping Sandman. But when he enters the ring (both bloody Lewis & Callihan rising to their feet) he chooses to WHACK Sami Callihan with the Kendo stick! Ed Lewis manages a smile through the bloodshed and zeroes in for the pin. He probably would have gotten it too - if not for the interference of a deranged Necro Butcher (who lights his OWN leg on fire just to execute a flying leg drop to the Strangler off the top rope!)

Necro Butcher & Sandman have a wild hockey fight brawl that takes them out of contention - while now �Crazy Monkey� Jun Kasai has shown up alongside Strangler Lewis to stare down Callihan! Sami cries �COME ON� - when suddenly� �Natural Born Killaz� by Dr. Dre & Ice Cube starts blaring through the arena speakers: enter NEW JACK!

The OG of Xtreme goes to town on everybody with his trash can of weapon shots, while the manic rap beat bumps endlessly in the background (a personal hell visited upon Strangler Lewis). In the end, bloody anarchy subsides, and we�re down to where we left off - with a bloody, battered Strangler & Callihan dragging themselves to their feet. Several near falls ensue, each dragging the collective breath from the crowd even further. But neither man refuses to die - Sami even surviving a series of crushing Strangler Lewis suplexes (one on a propped-up guardrail in the ring that popped the crowd huge). Sami even desperately fights out of a Dragon Sleeper attempt by literally *biting* Strangler Lewis fingers! Strangler Lewis finally wilts under the pressure and for the first time we actually see him begging off! Desperately trying to collect himself as Sami Callihan (driven forth by the bloodthirsty fans) zeroes in for the crowbar kill� When suddenly - the arena houselights go BLACK! For a few seconds the arena is pitched into darkness, only to have a familiar white symbol illuminate the ring� the MESSIAH! NO! Instead it is new corporate thug Rashad Cameron (aka BLKJeez)!! - emerging from the blackness with a Taser gun! Strangler Lewis uses his expert grappling skills to subdue Callihan enough for repeated charges from BLKJeez�s electrified weapon! Over and over again until Sami is a twitching, frothing wretch in Strangler�s calloused grip! Shades of Strangler Lewis AWA �victory� @ �REDEMPTION�! Strangler Lewis holds the wildly convulsing Sami Callihan down on the mat long enough to register a tainted 3-count! Strangler arises from the blood-splattered war zone around him in near-catatonic shock. In the wake of the match it is stressed there are no real �winners�, as Sami Callihan is hauled out on a stretcher while Strangler Lewis is hustled backstage by Mondt & men (after the quick and customary tradition of placing *BOTH* championship belts over Stranglers shoulders - his AWA and now KotDM belts)� Toots Mondt keeps all cameras and nosey reporters at bay with shoves, pushes and "NO RESPONSE" retorts...


** CUT **


** XPW Remixed Woman�s championship **



Match ends in under 90 seconds. The hype packages, previous night weigh-in results (including tense standoff and pushing contest by the girls) and walkouts take longer. Rowdy Ronda Rousey accompanies Burke to ringside (as she has during all of Burke�s promotional stops as well) and heavy focus has been made to UFC 157 where Rousey will be the first woman to headline a UFC card). Big time MMA intros for both woman. With the crowd surging behind them, Awsome Kong charged immediately into Burke - no selling a few leg kicks and snagging the champion in her grip. She tries tossing Burke about with wanton fury - but finds herself trapped in an airtight armbar! The diminutive XPW Remixed woman�s champion holds on with all her might� Awesome Kong picks Burke up Rampage Jackson-style and power bombs her to the mat with authority� but Burke holds on! Torques the arm bar further (with Rousey shouting instructions from ringside)! Awesome Kong wilts under the pressure� collapses to one knee� arm bends unnaturally backwards� and she taps out!! Awesome Kong taps!! The crowd goes CRAZY (with house balloons and confetti dropped from the sky)! Rousey & Burke celebrate inside the ring! Announcers register shock! Kong is stunned� finally she SNAPS! Awesome Kong on a mini-rampage, knocking officials and XPW referees out of the way! But when she comes face to face with Burke & Rousey� she drops to her knees and cries (?!?)

Winner (by submission): MILDRED BURKE

** CUT **


"The Mystery Benefactor"

In the final backstage segment, cameras catch Toots Mondt arguing with Jim Crockett over the FX turnout (Strangler Lewis has apparently been rushed to the hospital for medical attention and no longer in the building). After XPW Remixed was dropped from the FX timeslot consideration, it lost all value. Somebody else swooped in to purchase the block... and old enemy PAUL BOWSER enters the scene!

The Boston promoter gladhands with Crockett and sticks it to Mondt further. But this can't be! There are specific provisions in place to prevent Crockett, NWA or Paul Bowser from interfering! But it wasn't anyone of them to begin with. In fact (using his network connections, reputations and business acumen to seal the deal) - the proud new owner of the FX timeslot is...


The Territory Wars TNA exec (and B&B;&B; Enterprises associate) has purchased the block of airtime from FX, and bequeathed it to his business partner Paul Bowser! Not only have they successfully blocked the network move of XPW Remixed - once stripping it of value - Paul Bowser was able to swoop in and purchase their video tape library! That means Paul Bowser now owns XPW Remixed history - and that is always written by the winner! A legal bombshell that leaves Mondt speechless! Crockett, Boggs & Bowser leave to watch the rest of THEIR show and tell Mondt to relay the message to EX-President Strangler Lewis!! OH MY!


** Coming to FX and ESPN in January!!

** CUT **


(Glass Ceiling Triple Threat Match)

w/ vs. vs.

�THIS IS WRESTLING� portion of tonight�s card - with all 3 timeline rivals contesting the ultimate freestyle competition. Brisco & ADR have each others moves well scouted (their series of TV title matches are referenced) but find Ciampa to be the un-scouted X-factor. Yet Tommaso finds himself outclassed by veteran guile (Jack Brisco) and devious cunning (ADR & Ricardo) as well. All things considered they seem evenly-matched, with Ricardo Rodriguez raising the odds for his partner ADR. Which is why Brisco & Ciampa were able to get on the same page long enough to eliminate Ricardo from the match for good (Brisco ringpost figure-4 followed by Ciampa steel-chair stomp). With the odds evened, ADR still has Brisco near defeat following his enziguri / arm breaker combo� only to have Ciampa swoop in at the last moment and roll Del Rio into a pin! ADR didn�t even see it coming! While he played heel for most of the match, Ciampa still gets a standing ovation from the crowd for symbolically breaking through the �glass ceiling� of fantasy wrestling. He quickly throws all the goodwill away by spitting on the local LA fans and disrespecting them on the mic! His heelish, egotistical rant is met with loud boos and pieces of hurled trash... Ciampa dubs himself "Sicilian Psychopath"... a near riot seems eminent, until...


** CUT **


** XPW Remixed Tag Team titles **[/size]



Ciampa's in-ring antics draw the theme song and entrance of XPW Remixed Tag Team champions (2x) LOD! They roar to ringside only to have Ciampa tuck tail and flee. That gives Hawk a few seconds on the mic to call him out on his cowardice and turn the crowd back in LOD's favor. It also makes sure their opponents for the night (Ryback & Machine Gun) are the definitive heels. Brief - but brutish and intense slobberknocker commences. Both teams are like giant freight trains colliding... LOD weather the storm and come off as seasoned destroyers... until TBI surge back like young lions ready to become kings. There's a ref bump at a crucial stage of the match! With the crowd egging them on, Hawk & Animal respond like the tag team legends they are - superbombing Ryback through a table - and Machine Gun awaits execution via Doomsday Device! But NO! Tommaso Ciampa reappears at the last moment to pull off a key save! He saves Machine Gun, allowing Ryback to SPEAR Animal through a wooden table propped in the corner! TBI hit Animal with a Total Elimination (Ryback lariat / Machine Gun sweep kick at the same time)! Tommaso Ciampa drags the ref back into position where he slowly counts the pinfall (with Striker loudly bellowing "NO! NO!" on commentary)! We have new XPW Remixed champions! And it's Truly Bad Intentions from the future!! All 3 men beat down LOD 3-on-2 before disposing of them for good, and posing with their newfound infamy, success and championship glory! All hail to their mysterious East Coast sensei!!

Winners (and NEW XPW Remixed Tag Team champions): RYBACK & MACHINE GUN

** CUT **


** XPW Remixed Title Unification Bout **

(World title vs. Boston championship)


Main event time. Commentators summarize the occasion, while shots of Thesz and Cena preparing for their match backstage are interspersed. This is truly epic-level fantasy wrestling competition. The greatest video package in history puts the final layer of sizzle, intrigue and anticipation on this championship bout - framing it as a fantasy wrestling match for the eons. And with the events of earlier tonight fresh in everybody's mind - this will literally be THE LAST MATCH IN XPW REMIXED HISTORY! Back to the arena, MSD (resuming his house announcer duties since being �kidnapped� by Mother-in-Law) calls a no disqualification stipulation for the match. On commentary Matt Striker wonders when that provision was added, because it changes the complexion of the entire match. Lou Thesz enters first to arguably the loudest pop in fantasy wrestling history. The St Louis boy has found a home on the West Coast and the fans respond accordingly. After a pause for dramatic effect, Cena�s music hits and the place is ROCKED with boos. This is Hogan/Rock Wrestlemania 18 all over again, but with deeper historical significance.

As soon as Cena turned around after throwing up his �Chain Gang� sign - Lou Thesz charged at him with knees and punches! The crowd cheers and a vicious brawl began. Cena with a shoulder block - Lou with a Thesz press - Cena with a neck breaker - but then Thesz counters out of an FUAA attempt by Cena and tosses him over the top rope! Crowd is rocking along with the action! Thesz charges him on the floor and two men begin grappling and shoving each other about. Thesz hits a clothesline on the floor. Back in the ring, and Thesz gets a muthaphuckkin superplex for a 2-count! The XPW champion jaws with the referee briefly, before turning around to take a turnbuckle pad off. Even though he was a babyface, the story of the match is that Thesz is desperate to win (with injuries and maybe even self-doubt creeping in - especially concerning Cena�s union with GDT Inc). But before he can whip the Boston champion into the exposed buckle, Cena comes back with a clothesline and back suplex for 2. Another huge clothesline takes both men over the top rope again. They brawl around ringside again with Cena coming up bleeding off a ringpost shot. Back in the ring and Thesz wears him out with stretch holds and submission attempts. Thesz even snared him in a side headlock to unleash rapid-fire punches to his forehead and split it open further. Thesz is working heel (putting over his do-or-die, do it to him before he does it to me-style) but the crowd is still cheering him. Thesz worked Cena over in the corner, but Cena came back with a clothesline to take over. He rams Thesz face-first into the exposed turnbuckle bolt, then grabs the ringside bell and BLASTS the champion in the head! Huge boos for that, but unbelievably Thesz kicks out at 2.99! Both men are bleeding now.

Cena gets barbaric with the ground-n-pound upon Thesz, knocking the XPW champion about. Punches, elbows� Thesz tries sliding out of the ring to recuperate but Cena follows� and Thesz drops him throat-first on the security railing! Slingshot into the steel post in a wicked bump! Crowd cheers again as �CENA SUCKS!� chants begin flaring up. When Thesz rolls Cena into the ring and goes for his STF (�Finisher of the Year� Matt Striker reminds you!), Cena reverses into a sharpshooter attempt! In a flashback to Wrestlemania 13, Cena leans back like Bret Hart as Lou Thesz (Steve Austin) tries desperately to claw himself to the ropes - blood streaming down his face. Crowd starts an intense chant of �THESZ! THESZ!� Thesz continues to fight as the crowd reaches a fever pitch - and they explode when Thesz rolls through with a counter! He manages to snag Cena in a Texas Cloverleaf submission, both men a bloody mess! But Cena powers out of the hold, leaving Thesz looking a little surprised. They have another wrestling exchange and Thesz goes for a cobra-clutch sleeper, but Cena counters by climbing the buckles and landing on top of Thesz and pinning his shoulders to the mat (ala the finish to Thesz vs. Taz on XPW TV)� but Thesz releases the hold in time to avoid the near fall. He has seemingly sapped the wind from Cena, but when he reaches down to grab the Boston champion - he is scooped up into a huge FUAA from Cena! BAM! He plants Thesz in the center of the mat! But it takes a few precious seconds for Cena to crawl over for the cover, and Thesz kicks out! Closest near fall of the night.

Suddenly - Matt Striker pipes up from commentary� �wait a minute - what the hell is this??� None other than XPW President Strangler Lewis is making his way to the ring! Boos to greet, a bandage covers his forehead and the sleeves are rolled up on his dress shirt - and now, loud �ASSHOLE� chants serenade him as well. Striker & Taz wonder aloud about his intentions, and what kind of look he has in his eye. In the ring, both Cena & Thesz struggle to their feet. John Cena gives a little �U can�t see me� to Thesz before hitting a proto-plex on the champ! (Striker reminds viewers Thesz successfully used that maneuver on the last NWA TV episode - a subliminal jab at Cena. Here Cena returns the favor!) To a *massive* crowd reaction (mostly negative) Cena sets up and HITS the 5-Knuckle shuffle on Thesz!

John Cena goes for the pin on Thesz� but Strangler Lewis pulls him off! Crowd pops! Taz screams �what the hell did he do �dat fore??� Was Strangler Lewis screwing Cena? Or helping Thesz? Either way, Cena slides from the ring and begins chasing Strangler Lewis! But the President leads him right back into the ring where Lou Thesz drop toeholds Cena and snaps on the STF! �Territory Wars Finisher of the Year!!� screams Matt Striker! But once again Cena powers out! In an ultra-dramatic display of strength, Cena deadlifts Thesz onto his shoulders in FUAA position! With the quickness of a cat, Thesz counters out to land behind Cena�s back� and lowblows him! (??) Crowd pops huge as Cena sinks to his knees and Thesz makes eye contact with Lewis at ringside� where the XPW champion directs him to retrieve a nearby steel chair!

Thesz holds a bloody Cena up while Strangler Lewis advances with the chair� and CRACKS Cena in the head with it! Thesz sinks down for the pinfall on Cena� 1!.. 2!.. KICKOUT! OMG the crowd thought that was it, but Cena kicked out! Thesz can actually be heard muttering profanities in a nice continuity nod to his frustration and inability to keep Cena down. Lou Thesz winds up for another chair shot, but misses and gets caught with another FUAA! Thesz goes down hard with Cena on top for the pin� but Strangler Lewis distracts the referee! So John Cena (now hulked up by blood and adrenaline) goes after Lewis and pummels him unmercifully! Thesz pulls Cena off into a version of his own FUAA, slamming the Boston champion into the mat with his own move! 1!.. 2!.. KICKOUT! Once again the crowd thought it was over, and Thesz is out of his mind with desperation now. Strangler Lewis tosses him the loaded chair, and once again Thesz uses it to nearly take off Cena�s head! But instead of going for the pin, Thesz jabs the chair into Cena�s ribs and starts blasting him with steel chair shots on the ground. 5, 6, 7... All the way up to 12 steel chair shots in a row! Absolute brutal devastation. Finally Thesz locks in the STF� wrenches it� Cena struggles mightily� and Strangler Lewis smacks the timekeeper upside the head telling him �ring the fn bell!!� He does, and the referee motions for the submission! The crowd explodes into cheers, even though the most devious heel-turn in fantasy wrestling history has just been completed�

Winner (and undisputed XPW Remixed champion): LOU THESZ (w/ Strangler Lewis)

Post match, after the long dramatic staredown� Thesz shakes hands with former mentor turned fantasy blood rival Strangler Lewis! On commentary, Matt Striker is having conniptions - screaming in utter disbelief over the actions of Lou Thesz. "I don't believe this. What the hell!?! Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch I don't believe this! Lou Thesz has sold his soul to Satan himself to keep the XPW World Title! Why Lou? Why this way??" Taz was saying Thesz sold out his fans to keep the title, but the crowd still seemed pretty appreciative of his victory. John Cena starts stirring on the mat, and rises to his feet� so Thesz lines him up - and runs him down with a shot from his OWN Boston championship belt! The belt that now belongs to Thesz! He glances at the Boston championship belt (now splattered with Cena�s blood) and smiles. With the XPW World title and now Boston championship strapped around his waist - Strangler Lewis goes through the big moment of placing both the AWA and KotDM titles over Thesz� shoulders! HE IS THE MOST DECORATED CHAMPION IN TERRITORY WARS HISTORY! And tomorrow night he takes on NWA champion Dusty Rhodes! Fade out on Dusty Rhodes, Jim Crockett, Bowser, Boggs and others (irate in the luxury box) watching on as Thesz & Lewis celebrate their gory and unholy union� bathed in the blood of innocents. A new Dark Union is forged in the fiery hell of Ravenloft! Strangler Lewis may have lost XPW Remixed, but he's gained the most important bartering chip in all of the Territory Wars... will their reign of terror continue @ NWA's Chi-Town Rumble?? Tune in tomorrow night on PPV to find out!!

** FADE OUT **



SLAM! Wrestling (1/11/02)

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