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Author: Subject: 'Fuck' List III: The Enfuckening
LuckyLopez
Reeks of WCW






Posts 12562
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posted on 2-10-2010 at 06:46 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by borntorun
Technically, if you had been going faster you wouldn't have been passed by an old lady.

You can't argue the man's logic.

EDIT: Muttley's not laughing at you. Well he is, but he made a career of causing car accidents so he's a dick like that. Plus he's 47 years old which is like 201 in dog years so he's old as dirt.

You know what's weird and completely off topic? Muttley and I share the same birthday.

[Edited on 2-10-2010 by LuckyLopez]

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Thom
The Immortal One






Posts 4792
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posted on 2-10-2010 at 04:25 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by borntorun
Technically, if you had been going faster you wouldn't have been passed by an old lady.



Not only that, but her driving "fast" apparently was the way to go - so maybe the cop should have ticketed you for driving too slow for conditions.


Yeah, and fuck more snow.





#GLENNSURVIVESLOL - Cherokee Jack, from TWD Season 6 thread

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Chris Is Good517
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 2-10-2010 at 05:12 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LuckyLopez
You know what's weird and completely off topic? Muttley and I share the same birthday.



I share a birthday with Matt Cassel and Matt Ryan. Trade ya?





Monday Night Flaw, a podcast about professional wrestling starring OO's own Figure Foreskin as Andy the Smarmy Host and Chris Is Good517 as Cousin Balki.

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Stone Cold Steve Autism
I did eat all the macaroni. I don't know how he knows.






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posted on 2-10-2010 at 05:24 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
I share a birthday with Matt Cassel and Matt Ryan. Trade ya?

Why? They've both made the playoffs as recently as your friend who (HEY! TOPICAL!) decided to play Road Rash with an unprotected head.





Realistically speaking, there is no way for you to prove that I am not Batman.

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Chris Is Good517
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 2-10-2010 at 05:36 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
No, they're perfectly good QBs (I think Ryan in particular is going to end up with a ring or two) but they aren't nearly as cool as freaking Muttley. And hey, leave Ben alone, man. He's way too busy pretending no means yes with ugly hotel employees now to ride motorcycles with no helmet.





Monday Night Flaw, a podcast about professional wrestling starring OO's own Figure Foreskin as Andy the Smarmy Host and Chris Is Good517 as Cousin Balki.

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atothej
The Great One






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posted on 2-10-2010 at 06:50 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Stone Cold Steve Autism
Why? They've both made the playoffs as recently as your friend who (HEY! TOPICAL!) decided to play Road Rash with an unprotected head.


Really? By my count, the Steelers made the '08 playoffs (even going so far as to win it all), while Cassel watched them on TV.





Your momma's so fat, Dave Meltzer gave her struggling to put her jeans on in the morning five stars. -- FF

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Stone Cold Steve Autism
I did eat all the macaroni. I don't know how he knows.






Posts 2284
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posted on 2-10-2010 at 07:43 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by atothej
Really? By my count, the Steelers made the '08 playoffs (even going so far as to win it all), while Cassel watched them on TV.

Ahaha, you caught me. I sometimes thing he played for the Miami Dolphins.





Realistically speaking, there is no way for you to prove that I am not Batman.

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williamssl
Steers and Queers






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posted on 2-17-2010 at 07:30 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Get that latest version (in heavy rotation) of the Subway $5 footlong spot off the air.

Seriously.

It's everywhere.

I can't get the fucking song out of my head.

And Subway sandwiches suck regardless of the pricetag. Anywhere where the ham tastes like the turkey tastes like any other interchangeable part of the "sandwich"....





Don't Mess With Texas

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atothej
The Great One






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posted on 3-16-2010 at 05:01 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
So: Just got back from an unplanned, two-week trip to Florida. Initially went down to take care of my mom who was in the hospital following a mental breakdown. The day after she got out, I get a call from my dad's new wife that he just had a stroke, so I head down to tend to him. Once he's out, it's back up to deal with my mom's insanity and trying to keep my patience.

On top of that, I got a sty the last day I was taking care of dad, for just a nice icing on the cake.

In the vein of the thread, fuck March so far.





Your momma's so fat, Dave Meltzer gave her struggling to put her jeans on in the morning five stars. -- FF

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Chris Is Good517
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 5-1-2010 at 01:03 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Fuck me.

Monday, I'm going to be formally offered a promotion at work. This might sound like a good thing, but unfortunately the store is 45 minutes away each way, which is bad enough, but to make it worse my wife and I share a car right now because my old clunker finally died and we can't afford another car payment right now, nor can we afford $1000 or so to buy another clunker. My wife works 8:30-4:30 Monday-Friday and our kids are in daycare. Being in retail management, my schedule will be different every week. Also, I'm back in school full-time beginning June 1 and I'll be in class from 10 til 2 every weekday for the summer, which means if I accept the promotion my work schedule is going to be a hot mess. Also, if I accept the promotion I'll be getting promoted ahead of a good buddy of mine who has been after the job. The kicker is that we both asked for the same wage- they told him it was too much for that position, but told me that even though it's pretty high they could swing it.

At any rate, I'm almost willing to give it a shot because frankly we could use the extra money, and it's the top performing store in the district, so if I do well it will look good on me and help me move back up to a store manager position faster, but given the distance and the car situation, I just don't think it will work out. Also, no sense in making extra money if it all goes to gas, right? I dunno. I'm really stressed out about it- especially considering that both my current manager and the manager of the other store are both acting like it's already a 100% done deal. Also, my wife wants me to turn the promotion down and just look for a second part-time job closer to home.

So that situation fucking sucks.

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Qonas
Showstopper






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posted on 5-1-2010 at 02:15 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Well I feel like a horse's ass posting after that with this unimportant stuff, but fuck the Montreal Canadiens. First the frog bastards have the gall to eliminate Ovie and the Capitals by repeating what teams did against the Wings from '03-'08: get a young goaltender to ride a hot streak and then dive/block/poke/do whatever to block shots as well. Now instead of showing up and playing that hard against Gary Bettman's eunuch Cindy Crosby, they roll over and play dead. They get one free pass since they had all of a day to rest after a brutal Game 7, but still, I am not a happy camper that they'll eliminate Ovie but are content bending over to act as Cindy's spunk recepticle.

Also fuck the CBC Hockey Night in Canada crew. One of the perks of living in Detroit, and yes there are perks to living in Detroit, is we can pick up CBC on television. This means that a lot of times we can ignore the dumbass Versus feed of a hockey game and get real coverage from the CBC. Normally they'll extremely good and entertaining. This was my first time watching them cover a Penguins game though, and it was a mistake. CBC switched from professional and entertaining, to homer assclowns. All night long it's been "Ovechkin sucks" this, "You can do that against the Capitals but not against Cindy Crosby" that, "The Red Wings lost to the Sharks, hey the Sharks beat the Red Wings, did we mention the Red Wings LOST AGAINST THE MIGHTY SAN JOSE SHARKS" this, and "Cindy Crosby is the new Jesus" that. Honestly it's been far worse than anything ever done for Tim Tebow here in the states. Combine that with the Canadiens' horrible play and I'm sick to my stomach. I can't believe the CBC and Canadians are that eager and willing to throw their storied prize sports franchise, the Habs, under the bus to continue fellating a crybaby whining no-class douche like Cindy Crosby.

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Paddlefoot
Rocco Rock of Jabroni






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posted on 5-1-2010 at 04:22 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
The Crosby worship I can sort of understand, but the Sharks? Fuck them. They still have lots of games left in which to do their usual tank-out which, hopefully, they'll once again do. The day I want to see a shit like Dany Heatley win a Cup is the same day I want to see a shit like Eldrick Woods win another tourney. Which didn't happpen today because, as if he was imitating the SJ Sharks, he stank the place up and missed the cut. So, fuck him/them/they. All of them.

CIG: listen to the wife. Adding all that extra driving to the daily routine is a real killer. More often than not I've found that if you decline one thing that something better, or close enough to better, comes along soon enough that you don't regret it. I've declined about every promotion that's ever come my way as I prefer the much-lower stress of being just one of the guys instead of getting anywhere near management. Given the kind of daily grind and bullshit that managers/section heads go through I don't think that I've made too many mistakes by not taking the offers. Look at Will Riker. Some people talked behind his back about it but he never regretted not leaving the Enterprise-D crew. And he managed to become captain of the ship he loved later on too. Think about it.

(+10 to me for bizarro Star Trek reference that comes amazingly close to mirroring real life)





You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know, that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

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DrBoz
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 5-1-2010 at 07:58 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Paddlefoot
The Crosby worship I can sort of understand, but the Sharks? Fuck them. They still have lots of games left in which to do their usual tank-out which, hopefully, they'll once again do. The day I want to see a shit like Dany Heatley win a Cup is the same day I want to see a shit like Eldrick Woods win another tourney. Which didn't happpen today because, as if he was imitating the SJ Sharks, he stank the place up and missed the cut. So, fuck him/them/they. All of them.

CIG: listen to the wife. Adding all that extra driving to the daily routine is a real killer. More often than not I've found that if you decline one thing that something better, or close enough to better, comes along soon enough that you don't regret it. I've declined about every promotion that's ever come my way as I prefer the much-lower stress of being just one of the guys instead of getting anywhere near management. Given the kind of daily grind and bullshit that managers/section heads go through I don't think that I've made too many mistakes by not taking the offers. Look at Will Riker. Some people talked behind his back about it but he never regretted not leaving the Enterprise-D crew. And he managed to become captain of the ship he loved later on too. Think about it.

(+10 -9000000 to me for bizarro Star Trek reference that comes amazingly close to mirroring real life)


Fixed.

But I totally agree with listening to the wife, only because that's what a responsible and God-fearing husband does.





CBGWO!!! She is my everything!

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BBMN
HAVES A CROOKED DICK!! !






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posted on 5-2-2010 at 02:26 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Ahhh fuck.

I woke up to what sounded like drunk assholes waking up from the night before and giving each other shit. It went on for a while and then I heard my upstairs neighbor's voice yelling, "What the fuck?! You just broke a window!" Here's where its important to know that I am a very, very, light sleeper, and more importantly I am fairly tough to deal with when woken early.

So I crawl out of bed and meander up to the porch where the commotion is, still in my jammies. I see my upstairs neighbor and his friend talking to some rather sleazy looking dudes, one of which apparently just busted our front window. (we live in a pretty nice neighborhood) I listen to this asshole yelling for a few minutes and then the unexpected happens. I flip the fuck out. I knew if I listened to this idiot that broke our window for one more second I was going to just start beating his skull in. I really like my sleep I guess. So I begin yelling as loud as a I possibly can. Everyone was caught off guard. The guy and his friends were like 'uh, you shut up" and I was like "FUCK OFFFFFF!" over and over each time until they walked away. Fast forward 15 seconds and as I walk back in with my housemate from upstairs, I find out they were drug dealers that one of his friends had been become entangled with. And they might have guns. And I nearly just beat the fucking sweet jesus out of one of them before running them off by yelling.

Fuck me.

Bonus Fuck me for the two papers I have yet to finish due on Monday and Tuesday.

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Shao Khan
Showstopper






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posted on 5-2-2010 at 03:16 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Fuck working 16 hour shifts on Sundays. Not only do I have my usual 7-3 "babysitting" in the jail, but I also have patrol today from 3-11. This shit will continue for the foreseeable future until we get some new officers in the field. In summary:

Fuck Sgt. Guerrero, Ofc. Edge, and Sgt. Shumway for being the dicks that they are and not knowing how to keep their hands out of the "cookie jar".

Fuck them.

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TownOfDalem
Undisputibed Champion






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posted on 5-2-2010 at 03:55 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Fuck Boston's contaminated water supply making my life difficult and causing people to freak the fuck out.





OO's only mammal penguin

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Chris Is Good517
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 5-2-2010 at 03:58 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by BBMN
Ahhh fuck.

I woke up to what sounded like drunk assholes waking up from the night before and giving each other shit. It went on for a while and then I heard my upstairs neighbor's voice yelling, "What the fuck?! You just broke a window!" Here's where its important to know that I am a very, very, light sleeper, and more importantly I am fairly tough to deal with when woken early.

So I crawl out of bed and meander up to the porch where the commotion is, still in my jammies. I see my upstairs neighbor and his friend talking to some rather sleazy looking dudes, one of which apparently just busted our front window. (we live in a pretty nice neighborhood) I listen to this asshole yelling for a few minutes and then the unexpected happens. I flip the fuck out. I knew if I listened to this idiot that broke our window for one more second I was going to just start beating his skull in. I really like my sleep I guess. So I begin yelling as loud as a I possibly can. Everyone was caught off guard. The guy and his friends were like 'uh, you shut up" and I was like "FUCK OFFFFFF!" over and over each time until they walked away. Fast forward 15 seconds and as I walk back in with my housemate from upstairs, I find out they were drug dealers that one of his friends had been become entangled with. And they might have guns. And I nearly just beat the fucking sweet jesus out of one of them before running them off by yelling.

Fuck me.

Bonus Fuck me for the two papers I have yet to finish due on Monday and Tuesday.


Time to move, bro.

quote:
Shao Khan
Fuck Sgt. Guerrero, Ofc. Edge,



Ha ha, seriously?

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BBMN
HAVES A CROOKED DICK!! !






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posted on 5-2-2010 at 04:59 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517

Time to move, bro.


Possibly. I'm really pissed the more I think about this shit. Rather than just call the cops, the guys upstairs went down, opened the door and began talking, after the dude busted the window... why the fuck didn't they call the cops first?! Apparently the most threatening guy that was present is on probation and was drunk. He could be in jail this very moment, but someone just had to open the door making it twice as loud, which woke my ass up. I wish I was a heavy sleeper with a sunny disposition in the morning... I surely didn't help matters.

Fuck.

There is a chance it will all work itself out rather quickly though, as the whole situation was born out of the fact that one of them was sending/receiving weed in the mail, and a shipment went missing. With any luck the cops have it and are setting up an arrest as I type.

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Shao Khan
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posted on 5-2-2010 at 06:40 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chris Is Good517
Ha ha, seriously?


Yep,

Seriously Dude

ETA: The other two are still being investigated.

[Edited on 5-2-2010 by Shao Khan]

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LuckyLopez
Reeks of WCW






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posted on 5-2-2010 at 08:20 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by BBMN
Possibly. I'm really pissed the more I think about this shit. Rather than just call the cops, the guys upstairs went down, opened the door and began talking, after the dude busted the window... why the fuck didn't they call the cops first?! Apparently the most threatening guy that was present is on probation and was drunk. He could be in jail this very moment, but someone just had to open the door making it twice as loud, which woke my ass up. I wish I was a heavy sleeper with a sunny disposition in the morning... I surely didn't help matters.

Fuck.

There is a chance it will all work itself out rather quickly though, as the whole situation was born out of the fact that one of them was sending/receiving weed in the mail, and a shipment went missing. With any luck the cops have it and are setting up an arrest as I type.

I'm not really reading the situation. Like... did you walk into a drug deal? Are your neighbors customers or co-workers of said drug dealer? Was the guy just an asshole who HAPPENED to be a drug dealer? Because "why didn't my neighbor call the cops?" seems like the sort of thing that can be answered with "because he doesn't want to call the cops on his dealer" or "because he'd get arrested too" or similar things.

You know your neighbors. You certainly have a better idea of how much trouble you're really in and what kind of relationship you have with these guys or they have with the dangerous criminals. But it probably wouldn't hurt to have a talk with someone to know whether you should go stay with a friend for a week.

The thing to take hope in is that not all drug dealers are psychotics. Some of them are perfectly reasonable criminals who recognize that hurting some random jerk because he yelled at you just isn't worth the trouble. Still, it might be worth asking your neighbor what his relationship with the dealer is and whether you should be worried of a lunatic with blood shot eyes creeping around your place tonight.

[Edited on 5-2-2010 by LuckyLopez]





He smiled.

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BBMN
HAVES A CROOKED DICK!! !






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posted on 5-2-2010 at 09:01 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Its so convoluted. I may try to elaborate later, but for now, I'm just happy I didn't punch his skull. I truly believe I would have broken something, whether it was my hand of his orbital socket I don't know. So I guess I just have a drug dealer that's annoyed at me, instead of wanting to extract revenge for busting his face up. So that's good or something. Fucking fuck.
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Qonas
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posted on 5-5-2010 at 06:44 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
FUCK Tuesday May 4th, 2010.
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TownOfDalem
Undisputibed Champion






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posted on 5-7-2010 at 06:19 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
Fuck getting fired. Being unemployed again sucks. Why the fuck did I go to business school again? I should have just been a teacher like I originally planned.





OO's only mammal penguin

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drmuerto
Man of a Thousand Holds






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posted on 5-7-2010 at 07:14 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Shao Khan
Yep,

Seriously Dude
[Edited on 5-2-2010 by Shao Khan]


Wait, so you are telling us that Sgt. Edward Guerrero lied, cheated and stole? Seriously?
And he is being sentenced by Judge Anderson...

Anderson!

If you come back an tell us that Ofc. Edge refused to enter a plea because he doesn't think anyone knows him, and that Sgt. Shumway is charged with staling food or eating a cat, my head is going to explode.

Also, while I'm here: fuck grading finals at a university that is no longer going to be employing you after this semester is over. It's like an advanced version of senioritis, where not only do you not want to be here, but you just don't give a shit about anything because you don't even have a fucking drunken graduation night to look forward to, just some good old fashioned unemployment. No sense of accomplishment, no vista towards a new and exciting future, just the malaise of knowing that all those little pricks who napped through your lectures will be partying tonight while you try to decipher their writing.

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salmonjunkie
Best There Is Was or Ever Will Be






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posted on 5-7-2010 at 08:00 PM Edit Post Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by TownOfDalem
Fuck getting fired. Being unemployed again sucks. Why the fuck did I go to business school again? I should have just been a teacher like I originally planned.


Then instead of being fired, you'd simply have been laid off.






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