Segment 1: During the opening signature, Bray Wyatt interrupted it. Jesus, I've not had a jump-scare like that in a while when watching WWE. I mean, it's not like I actually got “scared,” but when you're listening to the standard theme, and then you hear the white noise mess of Bray's video signature at 50% louder volume than the song... man, that's a cheap but effective way to get me to pay attention. Holy shit, I'm awake.

Anyway... so Bray appears, not acknowledging that he just upstaged the director in the TV truck, and proceeds to tell us that he knows we're all scared, but he doesn't blame us. See, last Monday on RAW, Ryback won against fate... for now. But he knows Ryback's weakness, and he's going to expose it, especially exposing Ryback's propensity to chasing a “Garden of Eden that doesn't exist.” He assures us that Ryback's wounds will “fester with malice,” and he'll “turn his dreams to nightmares.” So he tells Ryback to “resist the itch... and run.”

I'm, uh, going to call a priest for some holy water.

Segment 2: Dean Ambrose hits the ring to start the show proper, telling us that he works, fights, and drinks best alone. It worked for him on Monday, standing “alone” in the ring with Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns littering the ring at his feet. He runs down how all three guys, while strong, fell on Monday, thus proving that he'll be the one also standing tall on Sunday during the Fatal Four-Way title match. So he's out here because he wants to say something to his only friend in the world, Reigns, before that match.

Before he says another word, Reigns hits the ring through the crowd; I guess Ambrose will get a chance to say it in person. Reigns just looks at him in the center of the ring; Ambrose is the one who opens first by saying that Reigns won't get an apology. Reigns smirks and says that he didn't expect one, and he knew Ambrose was going to nail him with Dirty Deeds... but that Ambrose will get only that one, since it'll be Reigns who will get his payback at the pay-per-view this weekend. He offers his hand to shake, and Ambrose hesitates but stands casually.

Before any handshakes though, Kane pops out onto the stage. He opens with the adorable zinger that he doesn't want to interrupt Reigns and Ambrose's audition to win the 2015 Slammy for Bromance of the Year, but does need to remind them that they may not even make it to Payback due to their match tonight. Ambrose retorts a reminder that Triple H threatened Kane's job on Monday if Rollins doesn't retain on Sunday.

Kane shrugs that off, but then gets back to business as he books Ambrose against Sheamus tonight, and that's happening now. Reigns will face Kane in a no-DQ match tonight, but that's the main event. Ambrose wants to fight Sheamus right now, and Sheamus's music fires up as he's happy to oblige.

Segment 3 [Singles Match]: Dean Ambrose defeats Sheamus by flash pin. Solid match, nothing special. Collar-and-elbow wrestling to open, neither guy getting a solid advantage. Sheamus scores the first takedown after booting Ambrose in the gut, but he applies a headlock which Ambrose fights out off pretty quickly. Sheamus takes him down with a shoulder check, but Ambrose defends the next charge with a drop toe hold, then a... well, let's just call it an illegal Mohawk Lock. A MoLock, if you will, because I am overly amused by portmanteaus.

Anyway, Sheamus doesn't take much damage from the MoLock, taking Ambrose down with a stiff scoop slam. Roughneck offense from there with forearm grinding and punches, though Ambrose keeps the match even with out-of-nowhere counters and punches, even with a picture-perfect bulldog.Still open offense as the guys exchange blows and momentum, including a countered 10 of Clubs attempt. But from there, Sheamus knocks Ambrose off the apron and flings him into the timekeeper's barricade. That's enough of a break to take us to ads.

Back, and it's not long before he slaps on the Cloverleaf, though Ambrose manages a rope break. From there though, Sheamus tries White Noise but gets countered. Ambrose follows up with strikes, but when he tries a charge, Sheamus catches him and takes him down with a White Noise proper. Sheamus then signals for the Brogue Kick, but Ambrose avoids it by just rolling out of the ring.

Sheamus exits the ring to chase, which just results in him eating an elbow. Ambrose pops into the ring and tries a suicide dive, but Sheamus counters with an elbow to the face. But when Sheamus enters the ring and charges, Ambrose dodges it and clotheslines him over the top, then hits the suicide dive.

The fight enters the ring again where Ambrose whiffs a top rope standing move, and Sheamus counters with a scoop slam-to-backbreaker. Pin, but only two.

Sheamus goes punchy-kicky, but Ambrose answers with the same. Ambrose goes to the top rope again, but Sheamus catches him from there and teases White Noise from the middle rope. Ambrose slips off and lands on his feet, then slams Sheamus's head into the top of the ring post. Ambrose pulls him off with a school boy, and that's enough to take him down.

Segment 4: Rollins and J&J Security enter Kane's office. Rollins once again reminds Kane that he'll totally be fired if he doesn't help Rollins win on Sunday; Kane says that he's not worried, especially since he's saved his money and doesn't really need a paycheck. Rollins says that Kane needs just “do the right thing.” Kane replies that he may not know what the “right thing” will be until Sunday.

Oh, and Rollins has to face Ryback tonight. Surprise!

Segment 5: Ryback and Lana hit the ring, the latter with a clipboard of some sort... is that the contract for this Sunday's match against John Cena?

They get to the ring, and... nope, it's a prepared statement. Lana reads—in a clearly less-than-sincere tone—that she's sorry for disgracing Russia and Rusev (“America's only champion,” which is an incredibly stupid statement even within the context of this bit) for indulging with a little bit of Fandangoing a couple weeks ago. She's slow-burning a face turn, but it's clearly on its way.

After her “apology,” Rusev blathers about he's so totally going to kick Cena's ass on Sunday, which isn't really all that interesting or noteworthy enough to recap, but apparently it's enough for WWE to show a video recap. Then Rusev blathers some more, and it's nothing noteworthy. Then Rusev loops Cena saying “I Quit” like three dozen times, just to annoy the shit out of me.

So, yeah. That happened, and I give no shit. I mean, the story advanced, but in the dumbest way possible. Moving on... [Ed. Note: for me, this is one of those segments where -- if you try to break it down and explain what happened -- it's really hard to make it sound interesting. But Rusev is starting to develop his own charisma, and the dynamic with Lana is undeniably compelling, so somehow, this was all still a value-add to me. I'm ready for this dealy with Cena to be over, but I'm starting to get fired up for Rusev's second title reign, now that he's got some depth of character, and isn't just a winning streak.]

Segment 6: Renee Young (who is still growing out her hair, making her my #2 favorite woman in WWE in the “let's objective her as if I'm a soulless douchebag” category) interviews Ryback, who says that he totally saw fear in Bray Wyatt's eyes the last time they fought, so he's just going to finish the job on Sunday. Feed. Me. More.

Segment 7: Rollins hits the ring with J&J, then shows us another recap of Reigns, Orton, and Ambrose hitting all their finishers on him while Kane stood by at ringside. (WWE already showed this clip during Segment 2 as well.) Back to “live,” Rollins assures us that that'll be the last time that bullshit happens to him, especially since they'll be too busy attacking each other on Sunday to stop him. Of course, that's not to mention Rollins's allies: J&J, Kane, and his own mental acumen.

Rollins wants to continue by blathering about Ryback, but then Ryback's music fires up before he can say anything. Ryback starts his entrance, but at the foot of the ramp, Bray appears from who knows where, then just nails Ryback with a running flying shoulder charge. Ryback oversells it (properly), and then—uh, and then Bray “disappears” thanks to a camera cut.

Refs check on Ryback, but he looks drugged and/or concussed as we get replays. Commercials for now, but we'll likely have the match next.

Segment 8 [Singles Match]: Seth Rollins (w/ J&J Security) defeats Ryback by pin. Yep, bell rings, and Rollins goes for the heel beatdown right off the bat. Punches, kicks, and charges keep Ryback contained. Ryback gets a breath with a suplex attempt, but Rollins counters it with knees to the head. Rollins soon dumps Ryback through the ropes, and J&J stomp away at him behind the ref's back.

Ryback gets in the ring on a nine-count, but gets his ass kicked anyway and eats a DDT. Not the step-back DDT finisher, just a standard one, and so he's able to kick out of the pin attempt. More punchy-kicky from Rollins, though he gets a breath with a Lou Thesz Press, he can't hold momentum.

Both guys go down as Ryback manages a counter tilt-a-whirl scoop slam off a Rollins-initiated middle rope dive. Both guys get to their feet at the same time, and Ryback goes “house of fire” as if he just got a hot tag in a tag match. Still, his running charges can't close the deal, though he signals for the Meathook after a pin attempt. J&J run distraction, which doesn't work, as Ryback hits it and goes for the Shell Shock. But J&J run distraction again, allowing Rollins to thumb the eye. Rollins follows up with a flying knee from the top rope, then follows up with a low superkick. Rollins waits until Ryback gets to his knees, then hits a second low superkick to take the win.

I don't know, man... I wanted to enjoy the match, but it just bored me. I can't explain why, really... it just never drew me in. It worked technically well enough, but did nothing for me as a fan. It worked for the sake of the story, though.

Segment 9: Renee interviews Naomi and Tamina in the back; I'm glad to see Tamina again! Renee tosses it to the replay to show Naomi being a heel with Tamina's help. Back to “live,” Renee asks her what's up with that. Naomi says she and Tamina are sick of being overlooked, and—because they're heels and are handcuffed by the backstage I'm sure—they're blaming the WWE fans for it. So they declare they're running the Divas Division, then go on insulting the Bella Twins. Oh, then Naomi insults Daniel Bryan too, which draws crazy-loud boos. Heh, good play.

Nothing more happens. The promo didn't really do much, but it was still better than anything Rusev said.

Pre-Segment 10: The New Day pop out of the back, but Xavier Woods asks the truck monkeys to stop playing their music. See, they're giving Cesaro and Tyson Kidd a chance at their titles on Sunday in a 2 of 3 Falls match, even though “they're cheaters.” Big E explains how Cesaro and Kidd are cheaters: they double-dip, and they buy one movie ticket at the theater but see two movies. So scandalous!

Kofi concludes that there is good news though: we don't have to be like Cesaro and Kidd! We can be like The New Day! And we're going to clap the fuck out of life!

Segment 10 [Singles Match]: Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya & Cesaro) defeats Kofi Kingston (w/ The New Day) by pin. Short match, decent, nothing special, but useful for establishing momentum.

Technical wrestling to start, though Kofi doesn't take long before he starts kicking the crap out of Kidd after taking him down. Two can play that game, so Kidd punches back to no avail as Kofi takes him down with an arm lock. Kidd eventually gets out and uses his speed to send Kofi out of the ring, then follows up with a running suicide 450 splash over the top rope to ringside, which was sick as hell.

Kidd tossed Kofi back in the ring and teased a Sharpshooter, but TND ran distraction. It worked for a moment, but Kofi failed on a flash pin and whiffed on the Trouble In Paradise. Kidd locked in the Sharpshooter from there, and though he resisted and tried to fight it, he tapped out presently.

Segment 11: Replay of Daniel Bryan's speech from Monday. Sad face.

Pre-Segment 12: Bo Dallas pops out to “inspire” us by talking about Daniel Bryan, and that while DB's absence is sad, he's totally going to take DB's place. He takes us through the five stages of grief: there's no denying that DB let us down, we should be angry that DB let us down, it's a bargain to buy DB's shirts since he's gone, DB will be depressed since we'll all forget about him, and finally Dallas will us accept the fact that DB is gone forever. We just need to Bolieve!

Cute. But now he's going to face Neville, and I rather think Dallas won't have much to say.

Segment 12 [Singles Match]: Neville defeats Bo Dallas by pin. Ads blocked the start, but when we come back, we're in mid-match as Neville flips everywhere and puts Dallas in a chinlock. Also, Bad News Barrett has joined commentary.

Things get dangerous early, as Dallas fights out of the chinlock and flings Neville to the west apron. Dallas approached, and Neville took down the top rope, sending Dallas to the floor. Neville just straight kicked Dallas in the face—so far so good for wrestling—but then Dallas yanked Neville off the apron by tripping him with the apron. Sure, such an act is pretty much Wrestling 101, but Neville took the fall just wrong. Fast, violent, and hard on his back on the edge of the apron. Man, I don't know how much of that was selling and how much was legit, but he can't be feeling well afterward.

Dallas then put Neville on the apron, put the apron itself on his head, then nailed him with a few punches before pushing him back in the ring. Pin, only two.

Dallas applied a headlock, but it didn't work for long as Neville fought out and went strike-crazy, concluding with a solid enziguri. Neville then absorbed some cheers and went to the top rope, hit the Red Arrow clean, then made the pin.

I gotta say, it was a decent (albeit incredibly short) match, but the fans just never seemed to get on board with the ending. They were apathetic to Neville's final rally (only cheering when he screamed a guttural yell), and didn't seem to give a shit that he was setting up the Red Arrow. It's almost like they didn't realize what he was doing until he actually hit it, like they weren't in-tune with the match pacing. Weird.

Anyway, after the match, Barrett grabbed a mic and addressed Neville by standing on the commentating table. Barrett, showing some lovely self-awareness (though his character does not), complains about Neville not earning a shot at him because he “comes out week after week in a ridiculous costume”; Barrett, of course, saying this while wearing his crown and cape, and shaking his scepter at Neville like an old man telling kids to stop skateboarding in the parking lot.

So Barrett says that Neville needs some corporal punishment, and it'll come on Sunday in the form of a Royal Bull Hammer. He demands fans to say “All hail King Barrett,” to which they reply by booing the shit out of him. Heh.

Segment 13: RRRRRROOOSSSAAA!!! She's hanging out in the back looking forlorn, so Adam Rose asks what's going on. She wants privacy—because the camera doesn't exist at the moment apparently, an issue we've been over a million times on OO—so Rose dismisses the Rose Buds. Stupidity ensues, concluding with Rose telling them “The party is officially over,” making me figure that we've seen the last of the Rose Buds, at least for a while.

Then Rosa, in her best soap opera voice (which isn't a compliment), tells Rose that the party is just beginning, then attempts to swallow his tongue. At this point, I nearly e-mailed Rick that he's going to take over the recap due to my mourning period, but I'm going to soldier on.

Kane walks by as well on his way to the ring, glances over at the Rosa/Rose French Kissing Lesson going on in the corner, and he rolls his eyes with a scoff. I feel you, buddy. She could do so much better, like with a writer who has delusional dreams of being an author while he writes recaps at the best damn website for professional wrestling news.

...Eh. Never mind. I see why she chose as she did. [Ed. Note: to be honest, this is the exact wrong time to have Rosa hook up with Rose. I'll echo Mick Foley's sentiment that WWE should make one last ditch effort to make Rose a star by playing off the real life drama that ESPN featured on E:60 last week... instead, they're ignoring the fact that he's a real human being with a wife and a kid who was the stand-out star of an otherwise half-assed fluff piece that actually made an impact on fans who watched it. Boo.]

Pre-Segment 14: Kane and Reigns hit the ring for the main event, but they start beating the shit out of each other before they actually get in the ring. Kane is the “winner” as he flings Reigns into the steps. Reigns struggles into the ring and onto his feet, and the ref finally rings the bell.

Segment 14: [Singles No-DQ Match]: Roman Reigns defeats Kane by pin. Solid match, solid main event, excellent little brawl. Probably worth a YouTube watch, but it's probably not going to be Match of the Week with the upcoming PPV.

Kane goes punchy-punchy, then flings Reigns out of the ring anyway. Kane tries to squish Reigns's head between the stairs and the ring post, but Reigns fights away and smacks Kane's face into the post. Then Reigns finds a Kendo Stick under the ring and gives Kane a good dozen whacks. Once the fight gets back in the ring, Kane boots Reigns, steals the Kendo Stick, then returns fire, concluding with a clothesline with the Stick. This leads us to a failed pin attempt and our final ad break.

Back, and Kane eats a boot from a charge counter. Kane gets momentum back after a big boot of his own, but he fails another pin attempt.

Kane then flings Reigns to the east ringside once again, then clears off the table and teases a chokeslam. He gets Reigns by the throat, but Reigns lands on the table on his feet, kicks Kane to create some separation, then jumps off with a flying lariat.

Reigns now on offense, he bounces Kane's face between the table and the apron. The last hit sees Kane leaning forward on the table, so Reigns gets some distance and does his trademark running front dropkick which he normally does on the apron. Still, the move hurts Reigns's back for some reason; either it's overselling the Kendo bruises, or the commentating table activated its mystical power to make all contact fifty times worse than a standard move.

Either way, both guys go down again to milk the tension. Reigns is up first though and readies the stairs, smacking them into Kane's face. Reigns then pulls two tables out from under the ring, then sets them up in the ring: one leaning against the corner, and one... well, one unset. Hm.

Kane gets in the ring then, and Reigns slaps him before trying to whip him into the corner table. However, Kane blocks it and counters with a jumping DDT. Pin, only two.

Kane spots the other table, then sets it up next and parallel to the west ropes. Kane teases a chokeslam through his table, but Reigns fights out of it with a million strikes and headbutts. He breaks away and goes for the Superman Punch, but Kane catches him by the throat and finally hits a chokeslam, sending him through the table. Pin... but only two!

Kane doesn't actually pursue his advantage, busying himself with arguing with the ref and getting angry. The ref clears away the table shreds as Kane signals for the Tombstone Piledriver, but Reigns slips out and hits the Superman Punch out of nowhere. Kane pulls himself up conveniently next to the corner table, and Reigns isn't going to let that opportunity slide. Spear through the table, pin, three, done.

Post-Segment 14: As Reigns celebrates his way up the ramp, we see that Renee interviews Rollins in the back. Rollins says that he knows Reigns is a good, strong dude... but it'll take way more than that to take him down. He prattles on a bit more, but Dean Ambrose appears behind J&J and Rollins, so Renee slowly slides away stage left. Rollins confusedly asks where she's going, but then turns around to see why she decided to get out of dodge while she could.

Ambrose—who is eating some delicious cookies—offers them to Rollins before slamming the plate into his face. He falls to numbers, but then Reigns arrives to make the save. The faces quickly dispatch Rollins and J&J, but then spot each other. One pregnant pause later... they both look down to see the title belt lying halfway between their feet. That was a nice camera pan and shot. Ambrose and Reigns stare at each other again. Reigns offers his hand, and Ambrose acts like he's going to shake it, but then reaches down and grabs the title. Another pregnant pause, but then Ambrose puts the title on Reigns's shoulder. He concludes, “Don't worry... I'll take it on Sunday.”

Final Thoughts: Whoa. I was all set to write that the going-home part of the episode was solid but nothing special, but that last angle was very good and tense. Loved it. The only miscue is the belt was upside-down during the money shot, but who cares? The visual worked, and Ambrose had good tension in his voice and body language.

The rest of the episode though... meh. It did what it needed to do, and Rusev's promo was the only weak point. It won't sell you on Payback if you weren't already into it, but it did its job.

And now that I've done my job, I need to shower. Because good lord, I stink, and I usually just launch into the recap immediately when coming home from work on Friday nights. It's nearly midnight, and I'm covered in grease, dirt, and... and just general grossness. But hey! A hot shower and a seven-day vacation await me now. Enjoy your week, enjoy Payback on Sunday (as I likely will after my show, which starts at 6pm on hitbox.tv/pyrofalkonlpe!), and I'll see you next week.

Episode Grade: B