Segment 1: Seth Rollins is out first to open the show, flanked by J&J Security, Kane, and Big Show as usual. Gotta say, the title looks decent around his waist; Rollins definitely has the right look and attitude for it.

Oh, and the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal trophy is there too. I don't think it's any more than a prop at the moment, but you never know.

All five guys get in the ring, and Rollins grabs a mic to recap his WrestleMania and RAW activities, then gives us some cheap... heat? I don't know if “heat” is the right word, as he basically spins Lesnar's activities on RAW as being the sole reason why he (Lesnar) isn't getting a rematch, especially here on SmackDown. Rollins concludes that Lesnar got what he deserved for F5ing an innocent cameraman.

Then Randy Orton's music fires up, and the Apex Predator hits the stage with a mic. Orton tells Rollins to slow his roll, since Orton was so totally smart when he suckered Rollins in with his stealthy lies a few weeks ago before he attacked him. Oh, and Orton totally beat Rollins at WrestleMania (with my favorite RKO of all time, no joke). Add that to the fact that Orton never technically got his rematch for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship after he lost it to Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania, and he figures he deserves a shot at the title, with Lesnar suspended and everything.

Rollins gives a non-answer at first, then insists that as long as he has the title, he alone decides where and when the next title shot happens.

Orton calls bullshit: Rollins doesn't do anything alone, as you see the four members of The Authority flanking him. Orton even congratulates Big Show on actually winning at WrestleMania, while Kane... well, basically didn't do anything. Hell, Kane doesn't do anything at all; what does the “Director of Operations” actually do? Then Orton hits a stupid punchline that I hope to God wasn't his idea, as he says Kane “went from the Big Red Monster to Little Red Riding Hood,” which makes no fucking sense in or out of context. It would like me saying, “Undertaker went from being the Dead Man to being a Dead End after losing to Lesnar!” Dumb. So dumb.

Anyway, this somehow angers Kane rather than making him roll his eyes and giggle, so he steals Rollins's mic and books a match: Orton vs. Big Show, and if Orton wins, “maybe” The Authority will think about his title shot. Oh, and the match is starting right now... after ads, of course.

Segment 2 [Singles Match]: Randy Orton defeats Big Show (w/ The Authority) by disqualification. Right from the start, the guys are in second gear, which is cool: rapid punches, a little extra oomph behind slams and throws, and Orton shows off his athleticism that he doesn't usually in the first few minutes of the match. It gives the opening “feeling out” a little extra special, especially when Orton hits Show with the Hangman's DDT with assistance from the top rope. Good stuff.

Oh, now I see why they went like that so quickly... Orton starts humping the ring for an RKO, and then J&J slide in the ring to beat the shit out of him. Alrighty then.

Post-Segment 2: Naturally, once J&J and Kane beat the crap out of Orton, Rollins decides to enter the ring and do some damage. Orton manages to tackle Rollins with a Lou Thesz Press, but he quickly loses to numbers (and a chokeslam).

Then it's Ryback to run out to make the save. Rollins bails (and Show already bailed), so Orton and Ryback have an easy time dispatching J&J and Kane. Rollins taunts from the stage while Orton and Ryback pace in the ring like caged animals.

Pre-Segment 3: The Bellas are out on commentary for the next match. We also see a to-camera pre-match monologue where Naomi pimps herself for a title shot: “On Monday, I pinned the Divas Champion, which means I can pin the Divas Champion, which means I can be the Divas Champion.” Damn right! But until she gets a title shot, she's going to totally prove herself against everyone she stands up against. Tonight, that means Natalya... who didn't get an entrance.

Segment 3 [Singles Match]: Naomi defeats Natalya by pin. Standard feeling out to start as they exchange open offense. The first exchange concludes with simultaneous dropkicks (so they kicked the soles of each other's feet) to no effect, then they both kipped up from the landing and stared daggers at each other. The crowd, not being douches, gave them respectful cheers and applause for the exchange as they glared, and it was well deserved; it was a neat visual.

Then they become a little less nice as they more roughly tie up, and it's Natalya who gets the better of the exchange with a rope-assisted back suplex. Naomi stays on her back even as Natalya goes for mounted punches. She then applies an abominal stretch, which doesn't seem great at first, until Natalya grabs a leg too, making look insanely painful. Naomi fights out of it, but a snapmare keeps Natalya in control.

After some more back-and-forth, Naomi is thrown to the corner, but slips the ropes and recovers on the apron. When Natalya goes to follow up, Naomi nails her with a roundhouse kick and follows up with a sunset flip. Only a two count, and Natalya slips out and quickly goes for the Sharpshooter. Naomi reverses it to an inside cradle, but Natalya kicks out. I'm out of breath just watching them.

As they try to get up from that, we get a unique move I've not seen before. Naomi gets to her feet first as Natalya stays seated, trying to recover. Naomi runs at Natalya, balances herself on one hand while wrapping her legs around Natalya's neck, then does a headscissors with extra sideways torque. I mean, it really is “just” headscissors, but it's visually appealing (given that it's lower than normal), and with her balancing on a hand first, it gives Naomi an extra “push off” to make the move look more threatening than normal. It was pretty sweet, and apparently counts as a new finisher, because Natalya couldn't answer the three-count.

Damn fine match; the ladies went full-speed pretty much the whole time. It was a little on the short side (maybe three or four minutes at most?), but at that speed, you couldn't ask for more. And Natalya looked excellent, probably her best match in a year, only because she was finally allowed to fucking show off her skills for once. Everyone wins, though I wouldn't mind seeing a double-length rematch between them at some point.

After the match, Naomi taunted the Bellas from the ring, who taunted back from ringside.

Segment 4: Seth Rollins is talking to Kane in the back, and Rollins is all laughter as he says that he loved Orton's face when Kane so totally lied to him about considering a title shot. But Kane isn't laughing back; he says he was serious. Rollins protests, but Kane explains that a WWE World Heavyweight title match at Extreme Rules would be money. Besides, is Rollins scared he's going to lose?

Rollins declares “this stinks,” and when Kane tries to calm him down, Rollins clarifies that the office literally stinks, and he runs off. Then we hear a toilet flush because we can't be bothered to know humor beyond fourth grade, and Dean Ambrose pops out from stage right (holding a newspaper, because of course he is) to inform Kane that the executive bathroom is totally the best place for dropping a deuce. Kane books a match, Ambrose vs. Luke Harper, for using his personal crapper. Ambrose has no problem with it, leaves stage right, then throws the newspaper into Kane's face just to be a jerk.

Segment 5: Byron Saxton conducted the weekly interview since Cole is out. The interview was with Reigns to talk about how the main event went down. Reigns puts himself over to remind us that he may have gotten beaten down against Lesnar, but he got up each time. Reigns concedes that he did in fact visit “Suplex City,” but that he survived it. And Lesnar didn't have a counter or an answer for getting punched in the face. Hell, Reigns even “permanently” changed Lesnar's appearance with his fist.

Reigns goes on that the fight changed his life, and the reason he was smiling during the attacks was to send a message: “Lesnar could not legitimately knock me out.”

Then Saxton brings up Rollins cashing in to win the title. Reigns says that the situation was terrible; he climbed the mountain, touched the top, was looking down from the summit... but then was pulled off. Reigns isn't overly bitter—he knows Rollins's timing was perfect and doesn't protest the cash-in—but Reigns knows that he was only 30 seconds away from winning it. But no big deal: he's beaten Rollins before, and he will again.

Good promo. I doubt it'll change anyone's minds, but it was pretty solid and hit all the notes it needed to.

Segment 6 [Singles Match]: The Miz defeats R-Truth by pin. Standard feeling out to start with open offense. Both guys get a “win,” but Truth gets the early momentum. However, he whiffs on the scissor kick, allowing Miz to sucker Truth in and hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Fin.

After the match, Damien Mizdow came out of nowhere to hit him with the Skull Crushing Finale, then stole Miz's sunglasses to pose over Miz's body. Nice.

Segment 7: John Cena hits the ring armed with his title and the contract to the WrestleMania match. He holds it remind us he called the contract their “declaration of independence,” and hey: he proved it true! He may have beatn Rusev at WrestleMania but respects Rusev's ability, though he hated seeing Rusev as US Champion... not because of his country of origin, but because he's a douchebag. (Which gets bleeped.)

Cena is annoyed because Rusev was the American Dream, a guy who came from nothing and achieved his goal, becoming champion. But the problem was that Rusev wasn't humble enough, and kept saying the United States sucks, because it so totally doesn't.

Cena goes on with more patriotic stuff; it is what it is. But he manages to bring it back to wrestling when he says that the US Title will represent opportunity, and while the Statue of Liberty declares to bring the country the world's poor and downtrodden, Cena declares to bring WWE's neglected and underused. [Ed. Note: until Zack Ryder gets a shot, I call bullshit on this!] He will face anyone at any time for that title. Literally: it's a John Cena Open Challenge for the US Title, forever.

And it's Rusev who pops out of the back with Lana in tow. Lana has a mic and addresses Cena from the stage as she says Rusev's loss at WrestleMania was a travesty. Except, Rusev then gets the mic and says that he totally did not lose at WrestleMania, but doesn't actually explain that, so I'm not entirely sure Rusev is sober at the moment. Rusev declares that WWE is his domain, and hell, the whole world is his. So Cena should surrender the title to him, since that's actually his too.

Heh, even Cena calls Rusev dumb, blind, “and a little drunk, I guess.” Cena reminds him he, you know, did lose, so why doesn't Rusev come down to the ring and try to earn the title back? Rusev does come down to ringside just to say that he'll take the US Title at Extreme Rules. Rusev then motions for his Russian flag to burst forth over the ring, except it's not the Russian flag; it's the US flag, and its appearance goes way over with the crowd. (Or there was entirely too much sound pumped through the speakers. Either way.) Cena sings the first bar of the national anthem as he declares that he'll totally win at Extreme Rules, then poses and preens with the title in the ring. Yay?

Segment 8: We get a quick vignette for a guy named Neville. Must be an NXT guy who's been called up.

Segment 9 [Singles Match]: Dean Ambrose draws with Luke Harper via double countout... I think? Standard opening with both guys winning a couple exchanges. Ambrose gets the first take down with a twirling elbow off the middle rope, and he gets the first pin attempt from there, but it's way too early for anything but a two.

Harper gets the momentum from there as he goes for his usual roughneck offense: punches, slaps, and so on. Ambrose answers with the same; as Lawler says, there's not going to be much technical action here. Both guys rapidly bounce off the ropes, concluding with Harper catching Ambrose from a cross body attempt, then dumps him over the ropes. Ambrose oversells the fall (or that he's overly sore thanks to wounded back after being powerbombed through a ladder back at WrestleMania) as we go to ads.

Back, and Harper is in full control with more of his roughneck offense. However, when Harper goes for a corner charge, Ambrose slips it, and Harper flies out of the ring. Ambrose tries a suicide dive; Harper defends it, but gets taken down with a clothesline anyway. Ambrose goes to the top rope and follows up with a flying elbow, but still only gets a two on the pin attempt. However, when Ambrose tries another move, Harper beheads him with a big boot.

Harper wants a powerbomb from there, but Ambrose slips out. Harper charges him, but Ambrose sends him to the floor. Ambrose goes to follow up, but Harper throws him into the timekeeper's area.

Harper then deconstructs the announce table, but before anything can happen, Ambrose flies off the barricade with a punch, putting Harper down. Then Ambrose notices the table and teases a powerbomb of his own, but Harper defends himself by shoving Ambrose spine-first a couple times into the ring post. Then Harper grabs Ambrose and powerbombs him through the table after all. Referee John Cone calls for the EMTs as Ambrose lays limp and lifeless. Harper also throws a chair at the ref, but nothing further transpires.

No official “end” to the match here, not even a match-finish bell. Table attacks aren't considered DQs, so... I guess this is a double countout? During commercials, we see that Ambrose was escorted to the back by EMTs and refs, but didn't do a full stretcher job.

Segment 10: The Prime Time Players address us to-camera, with Darren Young sporting a new look. Titus O'Neil kinda loses his mind as he insults each member of the New Day, then insults the group entirely as they hint how not-over New Day is. Good stuff.

Pre-Semgent 11: Sheamus has a new entrance, and a new theme song that is fucking awesome. Like, holy shit... Sheamus's theme needs to get on iTunes, because I'm prepared throw some money at WWE to get a copy of it for my cell phone ring down. I've legit been using Bray Wyatt's theme song as my ring tone for like two years and need to change it up, and Sheamus's song is goddamn awesome.

Anyway, Sheamus hits the ring to a tepid “You look stupid” chant, but Sheamus cuts that shit by getting a mic and inviting it, which annoys (and silences) the few chanters. Sheamus then goes on that he attacked Daniel Bryan “because I can.” See, Sheamus was annoyed that there aren't anymore “real men” in WWE anymore. Daniel Bryan and his ilk are all too short and skinny, yet we fans actually feel bad for them for failing. Sheamus is here not to disappoint us; he's here to crush our hopes and dreams. He's not going to rest until he puts all the underdogs out of their misery. Fella.

Huh, okay. So Sheamus has gone from “The one thing I can't stand is bullies” to “I'm going to beat up shorter guys because they're short”? Good character development, hashtag sarcasm.

We go to ads, but when we come back, we see that Wade Barrett has joined commentary.

Segment 11 [Singles Match]: Sheamus defeats Daniel Bryan by countout. Both guys exchange strikes early, with DB hitting kicks and Sheamus hitting punches. It's pretty even until Sheamus beheads DB with a clothesline. Sheamus goes roughneck from there with strong punches, each one knocking DB down to his ass. DB gets a prayer with some low kicks and a dragon screw, then punches the crap out of Sheamus's temple. Sheamus slips out and recovers outside the ring, then heads back in and actually ties up with him. Sheamus's strength wins, and despite a few more kicks, Sheamus puts DB down with a backbreaker. DB rolls out of the ring to recover as we go to ads.

Back, and Sheamus is in full control with neck locks and such. Then he hits a move and I'm not sure whether it was a botch or what: it started as a standard standing suplex, but with extra torque; it looked like DB defended it by just flipping in midair to land clean on his feet, but his left leg buckled under him and he crashed to the canvas. I'm honestly not sure if DB actually missed his footing on the “counter” and fell, or if that was just supposed to be a suplex-to-throw kind of move for Sheamus. Either way, it looked violent enough to get a sympathetic groan from the crowd and the commentators. Mike Chioda gave us a single fist of health, so I have a feeling that wasn't exactly the way it was supposed to go.

Regardless, Sheamus continued the offense with knee drops and other roughneck stuff, and... oh wait, he did the move again, but slightly differently. This time, Sheamus started the “suplex” but let go halfway through the torque, so DB landed on his back and sold his shoulder, which seemed way safer. So really, it's basically a suplex-to-no hands powerbomb, I guess. It looks pretty rad, and DB just gave himself too much torque on the first attempt.

Sheamus milked the moment for a bit, allowing DB to “recover” enough to get to his feet just so Sheamus could punch him a few times. The last punch put DB's head against the middle turnbuckle. Sheamus took advantage of that positioning by shoving the side of DB's head with his foot, then exiting to the apron and hit with a running knee. Holy crap, that was a nice combo.

Sheamus then poses on the apron, even as half of his mohawk started to tip over. The action went back to the ring, and Sheamus just talked trash rather than attack. So when DB got a breath, he also got angry, and when DB gets angry, he shifts into fourth gears. Slaps, charges, his signature backflip counter, running clothesline, the whole five moves of doom.

Both guys stay down a moment. Sheamus is the first to his feet and charges, but DB pulls down the top rope, sending Sheamus crashing to the floor. DB follows up with one of his usual violent suicide dives, one that was stiff enough to send Sheamus crashing hard to the barricade. DB tossed Sheamus back in, climbed the top rope, then hit a missile dropkick off the top rope (which we saw with the post cam, a thing I'm liking more and more).

DB to his feet first, so he hits his trademark Yes Kicks. Sheamus catches the last one and set up White Noise, but DB slipped out and tried the Yes Lock. Sheamus out-strengthened DB, but DB hit a drop toe hold to create some separation. DB went back up to the top rope, but this time Sheamus caught him and crotched him on the... turnbuckle connector thingy. What is that thing called?

Sheamus punched DB a few times, then dragged him down to the canvas to hit a sick neckbreaker. DB rolled out to the apron, but Sheamus grabbed him and hit the 10 of Clubs... or rather, the 3, since DB caught his arm on the fourth attempt. DB countered with a bunch of headbutts, but Sheamus re-countered by just palm-striking DB off the apron.

DB nearly smashed his head into the very corner of the announce table, but he came up bleeding rather profusely. (Or, uh, maybe DB's head did hit the table, since I didn't see where exactly he would have been able to blade himself.) Then Sheamus did... something to distract the ref, so Barrett stood up and nailed DB with a Bullhammer Elbow for no apparent reason other than jealousy that DB is holding “his” title.

A trainer came over to check on DB, but Sheamus didn't care and came out of the ring. He started to lift him a couple times, but Bryan was limp. Sheamus just gave up and reentered the ring, allowing the count to finish.

Solid match: excellent action, excellent storytelling, and excellent commentary thanks to Barrett. Barrett even gave credit and respect to both guys, especially DB, even complimenting his Yes Kicks and such, despite playing the heel in the end. Good stuff.

The end sees Sheamus celebrating from the stage and looking on, then exiting through gorilla. Smash cut to the trainer working on DB's cut, and we fade out. I didn't even notice the copyright bug, if there was one.

Final Thoughts: I don't recall a weekly episode of WWE that had a little of everything. We had a story-strong mostly squash (Miz/Truth with Mizdow's post-match run-in), a solid brawl (Ambrose/Harper), a solid technical match (Naomi/Natalya, though it was a little short), the main eventers all getting face time and setting up for various combinations of matches (Authority/Orton), a couple decent promos (Naomi's and Reigns's), a great main event to top off the evening, and all the guest commentators (Bellas and Barrett) kept things focused on the on-screen product without diverting to stupid bullshit. It's, like, the perfect episode short of stunt casting.

Well, okay, there was Cena's annoying bit, and Orton didn't exactly set the world on fire when he held the mic, but whatever. I can't recall a better overall SmackDown in a while. There was plenty of steak, plenty of sizzle, and a lot of advancement in all levels of storylines and feuds. Definitely worth checking out, and a worthy episode to follow WrestleMania.

What really strikes me most of all is that there wasn't stunt casting. Yes, I just said that, but my point is that we got all this awesomeness with the main roster. Hell, you could cut Cena's promo or shorten it, give that time to the Divas and/or a tag match, and you'd still not have to call up Lesnar or The Rock to keep eyeballs glued to the show. It makes me wonder why WWE can't do that every week, or even most weeks; everything worked without the need to dip into the well of cheap pops. Is this a turning point of WWE's modern era? Fingers crossed that it is.

Episode Grade: A-