No precaps today, folks. Let's just get to it.

Segment 1: Rusev and Lana head out from gorilla to open the show. Rusev takes on Roman Reigns tonight, and Lana is here to talk some shit and try to get into his head, as well as earn some cheap heat. Reigns then appears and lightly flirts with Lana before bluntly telling Rusev that it's his ring, and Rusev ain't taking anything away from him. And if he really wants to try to “crush” Reigns, they should totally do it now since the only thing they're missing is a ref.

A ref indeed comes on down, but Lana says no: they are in control, not Reigns and his SWAT gear. Lana leads Rusev out of the ring, and Reigns remains in the ring without following.

Segment 2 [Singles Match]: AJ defeats Cameron by pin. Solid match for the divas, and solid for the double storyline purposes of reintroducing AJ to everyone and debuting Cameron as a heel.

Cameron starts by applying makeup. I'd call that stupid, but it makes AJ laugh and ignore her... allowing Cameron to Lou Thesz Press her. Huh, okay, good tactic there. With AJ down and Cameron mounted (a phrase that should make me incredibly happy), Cameron tries to apply the lip gloss to AJ just to humiliate her. Huh, again. The ref corrals that and tosses it away, and I think that was actually a cute gimmick, if Cameron doesn't repeat it too often. For a one-off, especially what is technically her first match as a heel, I think that was clever and subtle (read: bitchy) enough to work. JBL adds in a hilarious aside that the ref should probably DQ her for using a foreign object.

From there, Cameron shows that she's had some decent ring training with a double arm lock that seems kinda long for a rest hold, but she keeps putting some flair to it with constant moving and even a bridge. It looked good, though it lasted a little long. [Ed. Note: Daniel Bryan's old Cattle Mutilation! He famously got CM Punk to tap out to it, back in the day. Well, OK; not "famously," but "obscurely in ROH."]

AJ managed to counter it into a pin attempt, which failed. But when Cameron kicked out, she didn't actually press the advantage: she just shoved AJ's face a couple times to taunt her. AJ just used that to hulk up, then hit a sequence concluding with a neckbreaker. AJ then pulled Cameron up by the hair, skipped around the ring, then threw her into ropes and nailed her with a stiff roundhouse heel kick. Jesus. Only a two on the pin.

Cameron had enough to leave, but then Naomi ran down the ring to throw her back in. This didn't count as a DQ for some reason (maybe as a make-up call for letting the lip gloss go?), so AJ tried a flash pin. Cameron rolled through it, but AJ just nailed her with a Shining Wizard out of nowhere. Pin, three, done.

Segment 3: Renee Young interviews Randy Orton, who talks some shit about Chris Jericho, whom he is facing tonight. Orton's punch line is that some consider Jericho a legend, so Orton is going to introduce him to the Legend Killer. As a punch line, that's not half bad since the whole promo was short. Good stuff.

Pre-Segment 4: Adam Rose hits the ring. More importantly, My Summer Rae is officially part of the Party Bus or whatever the hell he calls it. She's also wearing a top that basically has a large Boob Window, similar to the comic character Power Girl, a fact I'm only partly ashamed of knowing. Pyro approves of this costume change.

Segment 4 [Singles Match]: Adam Rose (w/ My Summer Rae & everyone else) squashes Fandango (w/ Layla) by countout. Punchy-punchy to start... which gives the women time to get punchy-punchy too, which the crowd is far more interested in. Fandango tries to separate them, then gets punched in the face. He still tries to keep them apart, and gets counted out. Whatever.

After the match and back in the ring, Rose offers Fandango a lollipop. Fandango rejects it and tries to punch him in the face, but Rose counters it into his Party Foul finisher (basically an RKO, except Rose falls forward instead of backward. So maybe a forward falling Russian Leg Sweep?).

Segment 5: Renee Young interviews Jericho, who basically puts over Orton with a mutual respect kind of train of thought, but says he's totally going to beat him anyway.

Pre-Segment 6: Apparently Titus O'Neil and Heath Slater are now on a team. And they both said they're teaming up together after “dropping their inferior tag partners.” I know that Titus's case, it makes sense from a story perspective. But since Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal were fucking fired for no reason, I think it's a little disrespectful to take that angle with him.

Segment 6 [Tag Match]: The Usos extend-squash Heath Slater & Titus O'Neil by pin. O'Neil started off on the offense after Jimmy was distracted by Slater. After putting Jimmy down, O'Neil tagged out and let Slater get in some basic offense... which lasted until Jimmy got to his feet. Slater was able to hit a jumping heel kick out of nowhere, which led to the first pin attempt and rest hold, but that didn't last more than a few seconds.

Slater beat Jimmy down, but then taunted instead of attacking. Jimmy nailed him with a Samoan Drop and tried a pin, but O'Neil broke it up. A Pier Four Brawl erupted for about four seconds, and Slater tried a top rope something-or-other. Jimmy kicked him out of the air, tagged in Jey, who hit the top rope splash and made the pin.

Post-Segment 6: Byron Sexton interviews the Usos in the ring, since at the next pay-per-view, the Usos defend their titles against the Wyatt Family in a 2 of 3 Falls match. Jey Uso does his best old-timey voice to paint a picture of the Usos beating the shit out of the Wyatts without any problems. Meanwhile, Jimmy mimed everything as if someone had his finger on the fast-forward button. Heh, that was pretty fun to watch.

Pre-Segment 7: After Jericho hits the ring for his entrance, the Wyatts appear on the Titantron. Bray Wyatt sings his song and tells Jericho to “save himself.” Jericho just finds it amusing and ignores it.

Segment 7 [Singles Match]: Randy Orton defeats Chris Jericho by pin. Solid match. Not exactly a free-per-view, but it definitely could have main-evented a weekly show. No new spots here, and the crowd was colder than I thought they'd be, but so it goes. The finish had the Wyatt's Titantron intro appear, which distracted Jericho. The Wyatts never appeared, but the distraction allowed Orton to hit an RKO out of nowhere and make the pin. No post-match shenanigans happened.

Segment 8 [Singles Match, Fandango is the guest referee]: The... match is a draw due to referee losing by intentional countout, I guess. The match starts with Layla sticking her tongue down the ref's throat. Rae is pissy, so she does the same thing. Lame... I hate what they're doing to Rae. I don't often get the chance to say “I told you so” to Rick, but... well...

Rick's idea of Summer just messing with them both was a great idea. But she is clearly being booked as a love-starved twit, and I'm not on board. 

Anyway, to the match... Fanny orders the bell rung, then keeps the girls separated anyway, and then does some pelvic grinds. The fuck?

Both women decide the appropriate response is to beat the shit out of Fandango, sending him out of the ring, which I guess should be a double-DQ, if we give a crap about such things. Fandango's music is the one that plays as he crawls away up the ramp. Layla and Summer then have an impromptu dance-off.

...Which turns into them just dancing at each other. And then dancing together, with Summer leading. Okay, I'm back on board with this, and so are generally all the men in the crowd. They even bust out a Daniel Bryan “Yes!” chant, especially when Layla stars a chest shake and the women form a Hip Voltron. Given who is involved, I dare say I like a Summer/Layla Hip Voltron better than the Funkadactyls' Ass Voltron. [Ed. Note: BLASPHEMY!]

Okay, if that was the blow-off and this whole love triangle bullshit is over, I'm judging the feud as a solid B-. I think this will play way better if they're done, and don't do any more bullshit, including (as much as I wouldn't mind seeing it) a Layla/Summer friendship-but-not-really relationship or something. (Think like, Mickie James and Trish Stratus, but with much less insanity.) I mean, I'm sure it could work, but it would be pointless. [Ed. Note: it's not exactly the path that I'd have taken, but seconded that they got to the right ending, where Fandango thinks he's got two hot girls after him, but in reality, he has zero. Now, Summer and Layla together past this point? I dunno, but it might serve a purpose. Maybe a ready-made face duo to face Charlotte and Sasha when THEY debut?]

So, uh, tl;dr here: just let it lie now and let everyone go do their own thing again.

Segment 9 [Singles Match]: Goldust (w/ Stardust) defeats Curtis Axel (w/ Ryback) by pin. Axel with all the offense to start, except a shitty dropkick. When the fight spills outside, Ryback acts like he might or might not get in a cheap shot. Stardust counters... by laying on the commentating table with a leg propped up and making bedroom eyes at Ryback. This, as you might expect, works way better than even Triple H's sledgehammer, and Ryback backs the hell up faster than... well, he backs up fast. I have no metaphors tonight.

Axel is confused about the situation when he exits the ring, giving Goldust time to recover and attack. Goldust throws Axel back in the ring, and Stardust takes up his original cornerman position after stealing JBL's hat for no reason. Heh, and the look works for him for reason's I can't fathom.

Back in the ring, Goldust hits his five moves of doom, including the Curtain Call, and makes the pin.

After the match, Ryback attacks Goldust and teases a Shellshock. Stardust responds by blowing confetti—correction: star dust—in Ryback's face, which makes him run the hell away. The crowd is totally over with this, especially when both brothers bite the air in each other's direction as a victory celebration.

I feel like I need to take a chemical bath after watching that.

Pre-Segment 10: Bo Dallas is going to be in a handicap match as the handicapped “team.” On the stage, he says that he may be handicapped, but he's going to be handicapable, because all of his Bolievers are his tag team partners. That was so beautiful, I have a tear in my eye.

Segment 10 [1-on-2 Handicap Match]: Bo Dallas reverse-squashes Los Matadores by pin. Diego or whoever gets in all the offense... then whiffs once and takes a Bo Dog out of nowhere.

After the match, Dallas throws El Torito into the ring, and he doesn't move. Bo pretends to help him up... then hits a Bo Dog on him too. This completely solidifies himself as a heel to pretty much unanimous boos, even though he still celebrates as if he won all of the World Cups.

Segment 11 [Singles Match]: Roman Reigns defeats Rusev (w/ Lana) by disqualification. Rusev with the offense early, mostly punchy-kicky, emphasis on kicky. He aims low to wound Reigns's legs, but it doesn't work out, and Reigns starts his counters. He's able to go punchy-punchy so aggressively that Rusev's only option is to bail. Lana tells him to gather himself, which is a good time to go to ads.

Back, and Rusev is in control with a nerve hold. Apparently, he got momentum by flinging Reigns into the stairs. Luckily, the rest hold doesn't last long as Reigns powers out. However, when Reigns rebounds off the ropes with a charge, Rusev nails him with a strong spinning heel kick, which is damned impressive given both Reigns's height and Rusev's size. Good lord.

Rusev continues the offense with headbutts and the stupid-ass nerve hold again. Reigns fights out with a headbutt of his own, but is put right down again from a stiff knee to the gut. Rusev continues the power offense from there, though he spends a lot of his time screaming nonsense to Reigns, especially when the crowd starts chanting that he sucks.

Reigns gets back into it after powering out of the third or fourth boring nerve hold. Reigns attacks with a punching combination, then a clothesline and a jumping punch (though not a Superman Punch exactly) to knock him down. Reigns even hits a modified half-suplex on the dude, which is one hell of a move, and follows up with his trademark apron front kick. Nicely done.

Reigns then signals for the Superman Punch and hits it clean. The crowd explodes and starts chanting “Spear!” a hundred times, but then Orton arrives and guillotines him on the top rope. Lovely.

Post-Segment 11: Rusev tries to damage Reigns, but Reigns dodges and nails Orton with a Superman Punch out of nowhere. However, Rusev blasts Reigns with a strong side kick, putting him down.

Lana starts to scream for Rusev Crush... but changes her mind and instead calls him off, ordering him to the back. The commentators are confused, but Lana makes eyes at Orton as they pass. Orton gets it faster than the commentators do, and Orton heads (slowly) into the ring while Reigns is just laid out on his back.

This goes so slow, in fact, that we get a replay while Orton decides to get in the ring. Weird.

Back to live, and Orton starts humping the ring. Orton gets bored and helps Reigns up just to RKO him into next week.

Final Thoughts: And that's the night. Not bad, but nothing really serious advanced. Could definitely have been worse, and I didn't feel that my night was wasted.

I'll be going to bed with thoughts of the Hip Voltron dancing in my head. But otherwise...

Episode Grade: B-