I don't think there are any complications; it's just post-op pain. But good lord, does it hurt. Today's pain was just about as bad as it was before the operation. I suppose this is why they gave me Vicodin, but since I work during the weekends, I've been a little afraid to take it. I've been shotgunning Ibuprofen and Excedrin as necessary, which helps take the edge off, but the annoyance is still there. At my best, it feels like my jaw is bruised and someone is constantly touching it. At worst, it feels like someone is grinding their boot heel into my gums.

Ugh. The dentist said that if I feel any pain after four days, then something is really wrong. Two days down, two to go... hopefully it goes away.

For now though, I'm playing hurt, which makes me sound like a little bitch since Rick earlier played hurt after The Whipple. [Ed. Note: I played REALLY hurt. But to my credit, I wasn't shy about saying "opiates, please." It's not like I have a junkie-appetite; I actually found straight-up intravenous morphine to be not-very-fun. It hit TOO hard, and didn't last long enough. But then we found other things, and trusting my ability to have-priorities and possess-willpower, I got through my Medical Unpleasantness by telling my nurses how I felt, including when I felt like I wanted more dilaudid. So I wasn't a hero, or anything, when I was back to OO Duties within a couple weeks. Just well-medicated.]  Regardless, I've downed some pills, so I think I'm good to go for the next couple hours at least. Let's roll...

Opening: A very long opening montage greets us of why the WWE World Heavyweight Championship is vacant, and a highlight package for each of the eight men in the Money in the Bank title match. It seems like the kind of montage that would happen on the pay-per-view itself rather than on a weekly show: well produced, but pretty long. All I know is that it was set to a fucking amazing song that, apparently, doesn't exist. Seriously, here's a YouTube video of the promo and song, and yet everyone in the comments is frantically looking for the artist; one commentor said the song was titled “Until the End” but provided no artist, making me wonder how he even arrived at the title (other than that's the first line of the chorus). And when the Internet collectively cannot find something, it really is a mystery of what the hell it is. [Ed. Note: the song didn't make any impact on me, near as I can recall. But I had that EXACT same sense of "What is this? This is a video package that should be airing on Sunday, not wasting my time now."]

Segment 1: Triple H, Seth Rollins, and Randy Orton are in the ring as we get started from that kickass song. He hypes the main event of Money in the Bank, and is certain it will be Randy Orton who wins the title, and Rollins will win the briefcase. He glosses over (or doesn't mention) that there will be tension between the two if that scenario comes to pass, but whatever; he assures us that's best for business.

Orton puts himself over, and so does Rollins... but Rollins brings up that, you know, there'll be a Plan B in case something goes wrong, such as Orton failing to pull his weight. Orton replies that his Plan B will be beating the shit out of Rollins since his Shield buddies aren't watching his back anymore.

Trips stops the bickering and points out that The Authority won't change, so even if they don't each other, they should at least trust him. Then he tries to give us a new catchphrase, saying they can either “try to survive against the Authority, or try to thrive with the Authority,” emphasis his. This seems to placate them both.

Trips changes subjects as he runs down the opening match tonight, then we kick it to ads.

Segment 2 [Singles Match]: Dean Ambrose defeats Bad News Barrett by pin. Standard back-and-forth to start, mostly punchy-kicky. Ambrose gets the momentum for the first minute or so, but a big boot from Barrett stops that noise, and he takes over. Punchy-slammy from there as the heel beatdown commences. We go to ads as Barrett is bulletproof.

Back, and Ambrose has a couple hope spots. When he teases a top rope tornado DDT, Barrett flings him off. Barrett wants to follow up with a Winds of Change, but Ambrose slips out and beheads him with a clothesline. As he rises, Ambrose hits him with the Dirty Deeds, and... that's it? Huh. That was a quick end. Solid match overall, but it's not going to be anything special.

Post-Segment 2: Jack Swagger comes down to ringside and makes eyes at Ambrose, who taunts him back. Swagger beats his chest... then grabs Barrett and throws him shoulder first into the barricade. Barrett grabs his shoulder; Swagger starts to apply the Patriot Lock, but then Barrett starts “tapping out.” Huh.

Ambrose meanwhile wants to get in on the fun, so he hits the ropes in the ring to do a suicide dive through the ropes and flatten Swagger.

...Except that's not the story, because for a split-second before impact, we see that the ref was kneeling beside Barrett and gave the Crossed Arms of Legit Injury. Uh oh. (From dirt sheets, it seems Barrett has a separated shoulder due to this spot. I haven't checked anything since the middle of the week, so Rick may need to Ed. Note me here, but there was talk that Barrett may have to be scratched from the MitB match.) [Ed. Note: no official word, yet, but yeah, separated shoulder, and most ASSUME he's skipping MitB, but until there's word of surgery, don't think it will affect his status as IC Champ.]

Ambrose isn't done with Swagger, so he grabs one of the billion ladders lining the aisle, then rams it into Swagger's gut. (I notice that the ref ran up to “yell at” Ambrose for about one second before running back over to Barrett. Dollars to dinghies that he told Ambrose not to nail Barrett under any circumstances.) Ambrose continues beating the shit out of Swagger, who doesn't get a single piece of offense as he's flung face-first into Lilian Garcia's lap and into the announcer's table. It's only when Seth Rollins materializes and slams Ambrose's face into the steps that his fury is subdued.

Rollins flings Ambrose into the ring, then hits a Curb Stomp and talks some shit.

Segment 3 [Singles Match]: My Paige defeats Cameron by pin. Punchy-kicky from both women to start. My Paige does most of the work until Cameron re-counters a corner counter into a Codebreaker of sorts, then goes for the head scissors submission. Paige breaks out and hits the Paige Turner out of nowhere. Match was under 90 seconds.

Naomi was on commentary and talked some respectful shit against Paige, but talked some slightly less-than-respectful shit to Cameron.

Post-Segment 3: After the match, Naomi got in the ring to talk shit to My Paige, who just talked right back. Then Cameron attacked Paige from behind, meaning Paige crashed into Naomi. Cameron and Paige exchanged hair pulling, with Naomi unfortunately caught in the middle and trying to break it up.

Thing seemed settled until (after a really weird camera cut), Cameron shoved Naomi from the back, who crashed into Paige from the back. Paige turned around and assumed Naomi was the instigator, so those two started getting to a shoving and screaming contest... while Cameron watch with a smile and kept playing with her hair. Huh.

Seems the team of the Funkadactyls isn't much longer for this world. [Ed. Note: RIP, Ass Voltron.]

Segment 4: The Wyatt Family talks crazy nonsense to-camera. It's mostly focusing that the Wyatts will take the Usos' “ornament of power,” i.e. the WWE Tag Titles.

Segment 5 [Singles Match]: Sheamus defeats Bray Wyatt (w/ The Wyatt Family) by disqualification. Feeling out to start with Sheamus getting most of the offense. Sheamus even gets a couple high-power moves, including a top rope battering ram. Sheamus wanted the 10 of Clubs from there, but Bray slipped out and retreated to the announcers' table. Sheamus went to follow, but Erick Rowan cut him off, so he just went back to the apron. Luke Harper teased that he was going to attack, so Sheamus chased him... which was all the distraction needed so Bray could take over by pulling him off the apron. Then ads.

Back, and Bray is on offense... and apparently the Usos came down to serve as bodyguards. Huh, fair enough. Bray continued the offense with roughneck offense, nothing you haven't seen before. Sheamus finally gets a hope spot when he counters Bray's signature corner-to-corner hip check with a strong clothesline.

The ref started a double count from there; both guys up at five. Sheamus took the offense from there after an exchange of punches, then managed to hit the 10 (actually 12) of Clubs for real. Clotheslines from there, though he whiffed on a big knee, but he followed up with a side slam. Pin, only two.

Bray stopped the momentum with a running senton drop, then wanted Sister Abigail. Sheamus countered out however, then hit the Irish Curse Backbreaker. Sheamus followed up with a flying knee drop off the middle rope, then slapped on the Cloverleaf of all things. Huh.

And rather than letting Bray tap, the Wyatts slid in the ring and punched Sheamus, drawing the DQ. Solid match for what it was, even though it was mostly for the sake of story.

Post-Segment 5: The Usos were in there immediately to stop that noise, flinging both Wyatts over the west ropes, then flying over them with twin suicide vaulting presses. Sheamus cheered them on, then ate a clothesline from behind by Bray. Bray wanted Sister Abigail, but again Sheamus slipped out, throwing Bray off the west ropes as he hit the east ropes to set up a Brogue Kick. However, Bray hooked his arms around the west ropes, then escaped under the bottom. The Usos had already relocated, so Bray was able to escape, though he still talked shit on his way.

Segment 6: Byron Saxton interviews Goldust, who talks about “Stardust,” who presently appears. Cody Rhodes says a bunch of crazy nonsense that would give the Wyatts a run for his money.

This is the first time in any of the Hulu cuts that Stardust is shown. I'm not impressed with the gimmick, but I have to say, Cody is making it work. And Saxton is a good foil for the team.

Anyway, apparently Rybaxel challenged them to a match, and they accept, though it took us about two minutes to get there.

Segment 7 [Tag Match]: Alberto Del Rio & Cesaro defeat Rob Van Dam & Dolph Ziggler by submission. Feeling out between RVD and ADR to start, with RVD getting the advantage with punchy-kicky-flippy. Dolph came in presently and continued the offense until ADR countered a charge with a... uh... I forget what it's called, but it's basically a back body drop, except the victim doesn't flip, and just face plants instead.

From there, the heels do quick tags and cut the ring in half to maintain control. Dolph gets a hope spot but is sent over the south ropes, leading us to ads. Dolph has some hope as we come back until ADR hits a vicious tilt-a-whirl one-armed atomic drop. Jesus.

Dolph finally gets somewhere after countering a Cesaro-attempted back body drop by kicking him in the face, then dumping him over the south ropes. Cesaro is able to tag in ADR, but Dolph gets the hot tag to RVD. RVD goes house of fire to both heels, though it looks a little sloppy; the timing was a little wild. He does send Cesaro out of the ring and is able to hit Rolling Thunder, and tries for the pin.

RVD fails, so ADR does an arm breaker. ADR wants to follow up with a step-up enziguri but whiffs, and RVD hits his split leg moonsault. Cover for two, but Cesaro breaks it up. Dolph flies in and keeps Cesaro contained... until he eats the super European Uppercut. RVD sends Cesaro out of the ring, then goes for the Five Star Frog Splash. RVD counters with knees, then immediately transitions to the Cross Arm Breaker from the ground. RVD taps. Solid match overall.

Paul Heyman was on commentary for this and talked some shit about everyone, then basically argued with Michael Cole for half the match.

After the match, the heels celebrated... until ADR wanted a handshake or a high-five or something, at which point Cesaro hit him with the Neutralizer. Every man for himself on Sunday, baby.

Segment 8: Renee Young interviews the Usos, who bring shit-tons of energy as they put themselves over for a couple minutes. [Ed. Note: I'm growing more and more certain that the Usos are even BIGGER Ultimate Warrior fans than they let on on that tribute show, where they changed their make-up to be Warrior-esque. Because otherwise, their shift towards high-energy gibberish makes even less sense than it already does.]

Pre-Segment 9: Lena and Rusev are in the ring, with the former putting over the latter with anti-American bullshit. Whatever.

Segment 9 [Singles Match]: Rusev (w/ Lana) squashes Sin Cara by submission. Double whatever.

Post-Semgent 9: Big E hits ringside to talk pro-American shit while channeling Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech patterns again. Triple whatever.

E gets in Rusev's face, and Rusev just leaves on Lana's orders. Quadruple whatever.

Segment 10: RAW rewind of the spots between Stephanie McMahon and Vickie Guerrero. My takeaway from this segment is that My Rosa Mendes finally got back to her more beautiful hair.

Also, WWE added some sploosh noises to the highlight package. Blech.

Segment 11 [Singles Match]: Roman Reigns defeats Kane by disqualification. Power-versus-power, so there isn't much finesse in the opening. Just punchy-punchy. Kane gets a slight advantage as we go to ads.

Back, and Reigns gets a hope spot, but Kane continues the offense with puncky-kicky-slammy. Things take a turn as the fight spills to the outside, and Kane clears the table. Kane teases a chokeslam, but Reigns fights out of it and drives Kane to the steps. Kane counters a follow up, then shoves Reigns in the ring.

But Reigns isn't quitting yet as he counters a charge with a flying lariat, then goes punchy-headbutty. Regins hits his signature apron front dropkick, then signals for the Superman Punch. Kane takes it to my surprise, and Reigns signals for a Spear. However, Orton comes to the ring, and when Reigns goes to meet him, Orton guillotines him on the top rope.

Post-Segment 11: Orton punches the shit out of Reigns, then helps Kane to his feet. Orton takes a Superman Punch for his effort, but Kane lays out Reigns with a chokeslam.

With Orton and Reigns down, Kane collects a ladder and brings it into the ring. Orton just watches him from the corner as Kane takes the ladder... and sets it up in the center of the ring, above which the two title belts are hanging.

...But Kane looks at Orton rather than climbs. Orton dubiously approaches the ladder, then looks at Reigns's unconscious body. After a pregnant pause, Orton starts his climb up the ladder as Kane looks on. As Orton is halfway up, Kane grabs the ladder, but implies he's merely steadying it. Orton looks at him suspiciously, but goes ahead and climbs the rest of the way. He pulls down both belts without incident, then poses with them at the top of the ladder. Orton then climbs down in peace.

Kane calmly collapses the ladder and dumps it out of the ring, then watches as Orton poses with the belts around the ring. Huh.

After Orton's music plays for a bit, Kane signals for a chokeslam on Reigns. Orton gets between them and gently holds him back, then tosses the belts. Orton backs up and readies... a Punt Kick of Doom? Uh, isn't that no longer allowed?

...Well, apparently it is, because Reigns gets up and answers Orton's charge with a Spear. Kane tries a clothesline, but Reigns ducks it and nails him with a Spear too. The crowd goes batshit.

Final Thoughts: That was an odd ending. I didn't expect that Kane was actually on Orton's side here, but so it goes. It adds another possible layer to their dynamic at MitB this Sunday. To be honest, the main event is intriguing enough that even if we were on the old pay-per-view model, I may drop the cash for it. As it is, getting it for a tenner is a steal.

Speaking of MitB, Rick will have your recap of it for you just after the show, and I'll be back next week (hopefully 100% and pain-free) for another SmackDown recap.

Episode Grade: B+