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Mediocrity Rising?
November 7, 2012

by PyroFalkon
Master of the PyroFalkon Multimedia Empire, Incorporated
Read Pyro's Words
at Blogspot --/-- View Pyro's Videos at Youtube

My plans got destroyed today, so I wasn’t able to work on Layton like I hoped. But I did spend the day working with WWE ’13, and I’m enjoying the hell out of it. Reliving the Attitude Era… man, I haven’t felt gaming nostalgia like this since I last played Super Mario Bros. 3 on an NES emulator.
Of course, half of you have no idea what I’m talking about, which is fine. Long story short is that basically nothing has changed in the last 24 hours, which isn’t surprising to anyone. [Ed. Note: Obama still President? Check. Senate still Democratic? Check. House still Republican. Check. And it only cost $6.5 billion in campaign money to get there! Wheee! Oh, wait, you were talking about nothing changing in your personal life? My bad...]

So, now that I’m past the ad box, let’s get to SmackDown. Hopefully my “viewer fatigue” stays low tonight. I am playing with my picture-in-picture for the first time ever so I can keep an eye on the election results, but you’ve come to OO for a reason, and I’ve got a job to do! Let’s roll…

Segment 1: We’re opening tonight with Sheamus hitting the ring to have an interview with Michael Cole. Apparently after RAW went off the air last night, Sheamus and William Regal hit up a pub, and “an incident” happened there. We’ve got cell phone video of the event… and it seems that Big Show arrived and beat the shit out of both of them.

Sheamus opens by saying that Cole should probably leave the ring, which he does presently. He gives respect to Show appearing and beating the crap out of him in an Irish pub (which you know is bullshit, since if it wasn’t a staged Irish pub, they would have just gotten in on the fight). But Sheamus is upset that Show would hit Regal with a cheap shot, because that just ain’t cool. So Show should get his ass to the ring and try to finish what he starts!

Except not yet, because Sheamus wants to keep talking. He says that everyone knows at Survivor Series, their feud will be about the title. But tonight, it’s going to just be a fight! Oh, now we’re waiting for Show.

And, uh, he arrives, but only on the Titantron. Show says that Sheamus should be thanking him, since Show held back just enough to actually leave something left of Sheamus at the pub. But it’ll be different at Survivor Series, when Show won’t hold back at all.

Sheamus and Show then bicker over whether Show is scared of Sheamus, but… no go, here comes Wade Barrett instead. Barrett talks some shit, and it’s nothing interesting, but it is well-said. Sheamus just loses his mind and says that if Show is too scared to fight, Barrett should come down instead. And there’s nothing more interesting to Englishmen then seeing a Brit and an Irishman punch each other.

Barrett teases it… but declines and just retreats through gorilla with a smirk. Sheamus’s adrenaline isn’t thinning out yet and he sort of over-celebrates the fact that absolutely nothing happened, but hey, a moral victory is a moral victory.

Segment 2: After commercials, Booker T finds Barrett in the back and says that he never pegged Barrett as a guy to walk out on a fight. Barrett says he never would back out of fight! Booker is all happy with that, because he made a match: Barrett and Show versus Sheamus and Regal. Barrett likes this, and so do all the fans. Yay!

Segment 3 [Singles Match for the Intercontinental Title]: Kofi Kingston defeats The Miz by pin, and retains. Solid match. There was one unusual spot where Miz lifted Kofi up outside the ring, then slammed Kofi’s shin and knee down on the stairs. That’s not going to feel good… They used that spot as the start of the in-match story, as we saw Miz go for leg-targeted offense from there. Kofi also lost his ability to bounce around, but he still was able to fight through Miz’s offense.

The ending seemingly came out of nowhere. Kofi was on the top turnbuckle, and Miz came up to try to knock him off. A few exchanged blows, Kofi punched Miz off, then hit a sweet high angle flying crossbody. Pin, done.

Post-Segment 3: Miz looked like he was going to cry as Kofi celebrated. JBL intelligently said that it just seems Kofi has Miz’s number, just that Kofi may be the one guy Miz can’t beat. So after Kofi celebrated with the title at each corner, Miz manned up, stood in the center of the ring, and offered his hand. Kofi answered with a dropkick.

Huh. Well, the fans are happy, but are these seeds of a Miz face turn or Kofi heel turn? Probably more likely for Miz to turn than Kofi, since I’m not sure Kofi could even get away with being a heel and still keep his move set. [Ed. Note: see Monday's opening segment. See Ed. Note. Team Foley has an opening. I'm still not sayin', but I'm just sayin'.]

Segment 4 [Tag Match]: Primetime Players defeat Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara by pin. Meh. Nothing you haven’t seen before.

Post-Segment 4: Matt Striker wants to interview the PTP, but Titus O’Neil is the one who wants to do the interview. So he asks some dumb questions, and Darren Young answers “Millions of Dollars” each time. So then Titus says that Striker better have learned from that, so he asks Striker “What pops into your head when you see us?” Striker mutters the phrase, which isn’t good enough, so Titus pushes him into screaming it.

Finally happy, they let Striker do the “Millions of Dollars Dance.” Striker tries but totally fails, so Titus blows his stupid whistle into the mic and calls for a 20-yard penalty for having crap rhythm. I believe that still makes him more qualified to officiate an NFL game than the replacements earlier this year.

Segment 5: RAW recap of the AJ “scandal.”

Segment 6: Teddy Long and Booker are talking in the back. First they poo-poo Vickie Guerrero and RAW, but then they change topics to the “genius” of Booker’s booking of the tag match earlier. Booker wonders if Vickie could make the match, and Teddy thinks she might.

Well, that’s not what Booker wanted to hear. So Teddy changes his mind and says that Vickie totally doesn’t have Booker’s vision for such things. Which upsets Booker after all, because he didn’t hire Teddy to be a suck up. Booker borrows AJ’s Crazy Eyes look as Teddy babbles. Finally, he settles on saying he just doesn’t know what Booker wants to hear.

Booker just laughs and says he totally got Teddy. Just chill, dawg, and let’s watch the tag match!

Pre-Segment 7: Some weird timing issues to start things off for the next match. The heels entered first. As soon as the faces entered, they beat the hell out of the heels, sending them scrambling. The match never officially started, so we saw Big Show and Barrett rage for a bit outside the ring while the faces celebrated. Finally, the heels got back in the ring after a good solid minute, and finally the match was under way.

Usually, that kind of spot would be a lead-in to a commercial, and the commentators seemed to be “closing” the segment as they said how crazy and exciting the insta-brawl was. Then they stayed silent for nearly the entire time the heels were raging, until everyone got back in the ring and things started. Weird.

Segment 7 [Tag Match]: Big Show & Wade Barrett defeat William Regal & Sheamus by pin. Entertaining match, nothing special, pure formula. The finish saw Regal making the hot tag out, with Sheamus going house of fire. He had Big Show (legal) on the ropes, then readied the Brogue Kick. Barrett distracted Sheamus from the apron, and though Sheamus punched him off, it gave Show time to recover. Show hit a pretty stiff Spear, but was still too wounded to close the deal.

Sheamus rolled to the corner and tagged Regal back in. Regal tried what he could while Show was still on a knee, but Show managed to hit a WMD out of nowhere. Sheamus was still too wounded to do anything about it, and Show took the win.

Segment 8: Striker finds ADR in the back, and asks him if the events in the catering brawl in the back last week was a “harbinger” of things to come in his next match against Randy Orton. ADR talks a bunch of crap that equates to “no.”

RRRRRROOOSSSAAA!!! then appears. So hot, and blue looks fantastic on her. She says she totally wishes them luck, then makes at him as if she was looking at me. ADR is all happy, only because he doesn’t realize I’m in the picture.

Segment 9: RAW recap of the Brad Maddox promo.

Segment 10: Striker now interviews Randy Orton about ADR’s comments. Orton puts ADR over, recaps that it’s a Falls Count Anywhere match just to remind himself about what’s going on, then says he’s going to so totally be “sick and twisted” with ADR. More blathering, and it’s not interesting.

Segment 11 [Falls Count Anywhere Singles Match]: Randy Orton defeats Alberto Del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) by pin. This wasn’t just a good match… this wasn’t just a free-per-view match… this was a pay-per-view-worthy match that just might be Orton’s most entertaining match he’s had all year. (Maybe not a pay-per-view main event, but certainly third- or second-highest on the card.) And remember, I’m not exactly a fan of Orton’s (or ADR’s for that matter), so trust me when I say that I don’t pay them those compliments often.

In fact, it was so good, it deserves a proper recap despite being a spot-fest, so that’s what I’m going to give it.

No “feeling out” to start, as Orton basically just started using ADR’s head as a speed bag. Back-and-forth from there, all punchy-kicky, and it was at this point that I wasn’t optimistic. That’s when Ricardo introduced the chair (only about 30 seconds into the match), and I perked up a bit. Orton managed to avoid any chair shots, and the fight spilled outside.

As Ricardo looked for more weapons, Orton took control and tried to suplex ADR over the barricade. ADR landed on his feet, but Orton readied a Hangman’s DDT. ADR slipped out of that too and ran into the crowd, and Orton followed.

Standard brawl stuff here as they bounced each other’s bodies off the big equipment rolling crates. The fight went to the concourse, where unfortunately they went to commercials.

Back, and it’s all ADR on offense being punchy-kicky in the concourse. More rolly equipment carts were introduced, but that’s when Orton took control and did mounted punches and stomps, and even tried a pin on the crate. Not good enough for three.

ADR immediately hopped up and headed back to the arena, but he was stumbling. Orton followed, and they moved to the barricade the separated the lower elevated seats to the floor. I point that out because Orton threw ADR against the barricade, then vaulted it, then acted like he was going to do the Hangman’s DDT there… which damn near could kill ADR, given it would be like a six-foot drop head-first into concrete.

ADR managed to slip out though. He faceplanted Orton against the barricade, then did a running stiff kick to his chest. Pin, but only two.

ADR in control from there, and the fight went to the stairs in the aisle. Orton took control there, but it was all punchy-kicky as they went up the stairs to the delight of the fans. Orton even tried an awkward pin on the stairs, but only got a two.

Orton kept up the attack, which sent the guys back down the stairs. Back on the floor, ADR took control with a superkick. Ricardo rematerializes and reintroduced a chair, and ADR took advantage of that. Several chair shots later, pin, but only two. Charles Robinson sold his hand (apparently slapping concrete as hard as you possibly can is somewhat retarded), and ADR hit the Ultimate Pose of Douchebaggery over Orton’s body despite not winning yet. And then another commercial break.

Back again, and the guys are already at ringside. Orton is down, while Ricardo and ADR shove the steel stairs in the ring. ADR continued to fling Orton around, even into the southwest corner of the barricade. He tried a pin but only got two.

ADR picked Orton up and tried to move him, but Orton countered out as the fought to the stage. Orton took full advantage when ADR charged him, and Orton countered with a back body drop onto the ramp. Orton tried a pin there, but only got two.

As Orton stands up, Ricardo decides to help out again by jumping on Orton and doing what can only be described as a piggyback sleeper. Ricardo flailed his legs hilariously, but Orton wasn’t having it. He threw Ricardo onto the stage, and ADR started to recover… but not recover fast enough, so Orton decided to take a detour. He booted Ricardo, then opened the door of the British telephone booth prop that’s always on the stage when they go to Britain. Orton threw him in, punched him a few times, then closed the door. Ricardo wasn’t locked in, but totally beaten up and no longer able to participate.

Meanwhile, ADR was up and headed back to the ring. Orton headed after him, and once they were back in the ring, Orton took control with his Five Moves of Doom, including the powerslam. ADR got one hand on a chair, but Orton ended that nonsense, then delivered a chair shot to ADR’s spine. Pin, two count.

Orton wasn’t frustrated, but he was feeling it, and he considered what weapons he could use. He decided the best solution was his own arms, so he humped the ring and readied an RKO. ADR was up too quick though and delivered a backstabber, then went for a pin. Orton was close enough to the north rope that he grabbed it and put a foot on it, but the ref wasn’t concussed and knew the rules, so the count was on. Orton still kicked out after two.

ADR broke away to catch his breath, then went for Orton as Orton stood on the apron. Orton punched him in the face though, then readied a suplex… because at some point we never saw, someone set up a table on the north side of ringside. Orton wanted to suplex ADR through it, but ADR fought him off and did a jumping enziguri. Orton played “concussed idiot” really well, teetering on the apron as he tried to keep his motor functions. The fans actually held their breath here—or at least shut the hell up—as Orton wobbled. The neurons stopped firing, and Orton fell back through the table… and banged his head on the black mats on the ground. The table may have broken his fall, but that doesn’t feel good under any circumstances. ADR was quick to slide out of the ring and basically just fell on Orton for the pin attempt. I thought Orton was done, but he kicked out at 2.999.

At this point, ADR last his damn mind and grabbed a mic as they made their way back in the ring. He screamed at Orton to stop trying to be the “Apex Predator,” since that’s totally ADR’s shtick, so get ready to tap out. ADR drops the mic and slaps on the arm bar, and Orton freaks out… but he freaks out right toward the mic. Orton grabs it, then smacks it in ADR’s forehead to break the hold.

Both up on their feet after a moment, and ADR flings Orton shoulder-first into the ring post. With Orton still down, ADR readies the stairs in the center of the ring. ADR then grabs Orton on the apron, then positions him for a Hangman’s DDT. I didn’t type that backwards; ADR readied Orton’s signature move against him. But Orton knows how to escape his own moves, so he slipped out and punched away at ADR’s ribs. ADR took the shots, but wound up winning the battle when he slammed Orton’s face into the steps.

Orton was stunned, so ADR went to grab the steel chair from earlier. Taking a page out of Edge and Christian, he attempted a modified one-man Con-chair-to as he wanted to slam it into the back of Orton’s head as he was face-down on the steps. Orton moved at the last second… good thing, because ADR didn’t pull the chair swing at all, producing one hell of a frightening sound as metal struck metal. ADR sold the pain in his arms from the vibration of the miss, and Orton took the opportunity to hit a stairs-assisted RKO. ADR fell to the canvas, and Orton made the pin, this time for good.

And, uh… if anything else happened after that, I didn’t get it on the DVR since I didn’t properly set up the timers. Whoops. Rick, can you help me out here? [Ed. Note: nothing of substance happened.]

Final Thoughts: That was a hell of a finish to a rather tepid show. Once again, stories advanced, just… nothing… major. Not a terrible night, just a by-the-numbers one. Probably because WWE was in England, maybe because they didn’t want to do anything crazy on Election Night, who knows. I guess we’ll have something interesting next week? We better, else not many people are going to give a shit for Survivor Series beyond the main event.

But tonight’s main event… holy crap. YouTube that bad boy and you won’t be disappointed. I can’t really say anything more than I already did about it, but it was about as solid as you can get on free TV. In a way, I hope that ends the feud, because at this point I don’t see how ADR and Orton could top themselves without getting inside a Hell in a Cell or something, and we’re already done with that pay-per-view.

Okay, I’m done here. Have a good week, guys, and I’ll see you on the other side of the week for RAW.

Episode Grade: C (overall), A (main event)


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