I got The Spirit in the mail but haven’t watched it yet. I’ve been distracted by Dexter, the first two seasons of which are available on instant watching. For most TV shows I typically don’t get warmed up to it immediately; Dexter was no exception. It took me four episodes to really get hooked, but hooked I finally am. I won’t call the show brilliant, but it’s very engaging and entertaining so far. I’m about halfway through the second season now, and will probably finish up what I can watch on Instant over the weekend.
 

What really shocks me about Dexter is its ability—so far—to introduce sex scenes that actually CONTRIBUTE to the story. I’m all for nudity and everything, but from a storyline perspective, most sex scenes (especially on cable) exist merely to show some skin and be done without actually doing anything to help the characters or plot along. Dexter, so far, has managed to dodge this; every single erotic moment in the first season was played VERY well and subtly gave some insight to a character’s mindset. And even better, once that subtle message was given, the scene ended.

Even the violent scenes are like that. Sure, there’s a lot of blood and dismemberment—this is not a show for the squeamish—but once the scene basically establishes the point and gets its message across, we move on to the next scene rather than waiting around uncomfortably while nothing happens. The show uses mature themes and ideas to tell its story, rather than to shock or gross out its audience. I’m impressed.

So now, I turn from a show dripping with blood to a show that stops matches if any blood is shed no matter how small and no matter how accidentally. Let’s roll…

Pre-Segment 1: It’s announced that tonight we’re going to have a Beat the Clock Challenge to see who the #1 contender will be for Undertaker’s title. I always like BTC tournaments for some reason.

Segment 1: CM Punk and Luke Gallows come out to start the show tonight. Punk does all the talking, prattling as he always does, and trying to make us all take an oath to augment our new year’s resolutions. He promises that he’ll kick all our asses to make us see the light that is the straightedge lifestyle.

Oh, we don’t believe that? Well, next week, he’s going to save one lost soul from the audience. He’s going to do this every single week until we realize that he is so totally right about everything. He’ll also show, right now, that he’s going to be our next champion by posting the best time of the BTC. We’ll see.

Segment 2 [BTC Singles Match]: CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows) defeats Matt Hardy by pin in 7:20, setting the time to beat. Match was a pretty decent technical affair. No high spots, though toward the end Matt had a prayer to win. No dice though: Punk managed a stiff roundhouse kick followed by the Go To Sleep to end it.

After the match, Punk and Gallows assaulted Matt for no reason. After the assault, I think Punk screamed “It’s clobberin’ time!” to no one in particular.

Segment 3 [BTC Singles Match]: Kane and Dolph Ziggler wrestle to a no decision after 7:20; CM Punk still has the time to beat. Match was pretty decent just like the last one. The amazing thing was that Dolph seemed to show a deeper move set than he normally does, and Kane even did some kickass technical chain wrestling for the opening minute. Pretty surprising, and an unexpected treat.

The match ended when Dolph locked on a sleeperhold after weakening the neck for pretty much the whole match. Kane didn’t tap but couldn’t escape it, and time expired. After the match, Dolph did his finisher (a reverse neckbreaker drop) to piss off Kane. That may not be the smartest move in the world, but Kane and Dolph clicked pretty well in this one, so if they have a couple more matches like this one, I won’t complain.

Segment 4 [Singles Match]: Khali squashes Some Guy by pin. I refuse to recap squashes.

Segment 5 [Singles Match for the Intercontinental Title]: Drew McIntyre defeats John Morrison by disqualification, and retains. Another surprisingly damn good match. JM did a bunch of flippy stuff outside the ring in the opening minute or so, including a flip where he went from the barricade to the mats and landed on his feet after a half-twist backflip. Crazy.

Shortly after, JM got his leg caught in the ropes, and DM took advantage. From then on, the story was JM’s wounded leg, though eventually he started a comeback. DM in desperation undid the top turnbuckle cover and flung it to the middle of the ring. JM was quick to jump on this situation, beating down DM in the corner. Referee McDoucher was in attendance to pull him off, though JM fought through that and continued the beatdown.

The ref had to pull off JM twice more. On the third and final time, the ref got in JM’s face and bitched him out for not following his instructions, giving him a last warning. The ref turned to discard the turnbuckle cover, and DM pushed JM into the ref. The ref figured JM just had a bit of a mean streak in him for being bitched out, so he called for the bell.

Most non-finishes get my goat, but this one was a damn good match with Drew being a bitch at the end, which fits with his character, so I’m giving the finish a pass. DM and JM showed great chemistry as usual, but it seems they, like Kane/Dolph, are pretty on tonight. I’m pleased.

After the match, DM retreated up the ramp, but JM ran after him and kicked the shit out of him. They rolled around a bit on the ramp before all the refs in the world came down to break them apart.

Segment 6 [Singles Match]: Mickie James defeats Beth Phoenix by pin. Match was too short to be anything, but was more about the storyline. Layla and Michelle McCool were at ringside and cheered on Beth Phoenix as she came down. Mickie came after, and the heels did what they were supposed to do, booing and taunting her.

The match started with some subtle humor: Mickie kept glancing at the heels, and Beth roughly shoved Mickie and gestured (Broadly) that she needs to pay attention to her… so Mickie punches her in the face. Heh.

A few random moves later, MJ looked to be getting the upper hand. Layla jumped on the apron to distract the ref, while Michelle jumped on a different apron. Beth started to whip Mickie toward Michelle, so Michelle readied a roundhouse kick. At the last second, Mickie reversed the whip, so Michelle kicked Beth instead. Mickie quickly rolled Beth up as the ref turned around, and he made the count.

After the match, the heels tried beating Mickie down. Beth isn’t cold and didn’t really appreciate the kick to the head, so she grabbed Michelle off Mickie and started her own little assault. Once Layla was flung out of the ring by Mickie, Beth hit Michelle with a move I haven’t seen before. It’s sorta like a “reverse FU”: Beth put Michelle on her shoulders, but rather than flinging her headfirst to the left, Beth slammed her butt-first to her right. Michelle landed pretty stiffly on her shoulders, selling the move like a pro. Beth followed that up with a running punt kick to Michelle’s ribs.

Beth and MJ stared each other down after that… and Beth started walking away, slapping MJ’s hand as a low-five. MJ looks confused but appreciative and looks at the heels outside the ring. Ladies and gentlemen: a face turn—

Oh wait, Beth then immediately hits MJ with the Fall of the Phoenix. Viva tweener! Damn that was well-played!

Pre-Segment 7: Chris Jericho is here for his BTC match, but wants to talk first. He declares that he’s bigger than SmackDown, and bigger than WWE itself for that matter. He promises that on RAW, he and Big Show will get their tag titles back again and will continue their brand-hopping ways. CJ promises that he will be the face of every brand and the company itself, because he’s the best in the world at what he does.

To prove this, his new year’s resolution is to hold every WWE title this year, and he’s going to start by putting Rey Mysterio in his place in record time right now. Yes: 2010 will be the Year of Chris Jericho!

Segment 7 [BTC Singles Match]: Rey Mysterio defeats Chris Jericho by pin in 7:19, setting the new time to beat. Good match here, with more excitement toward the end. The match lagged with about two minutes left, as both guys actually slowed things down; they had “hurried” too much first and had to kill some time to properly setup the finish.

And man, what a finish. It started with CJ on the ropes. Rey tried a 619, but CJ caught him and put him in the Walls of Jericho. After some wiggling around, Rey got out and tried a roll-up, then put Jericho back in the 619. Jericho was successfully hit with it, but when Rey tried the follow up West Coast Pop, Jericho met him in midair (at a higher altitude than normal) with a Codebreaker.

Jericho delayed in the pin attempt, as he was still woozy from the 619. He finally crawled over there, attempted the pin… but Rey kicked out. CJ was stupid enough to argue with the official about this with ten seconds to go. Rey recovered, rolled CJ up, and made the pin with only a single second left.

Segment 8 [BTC Singles Match]: Batista and R-Truth wrestle to a no contest after 7:19; Rey Mysterio is #1 contender. Match was lame. The best part of the whole thing was Truth doing a bizarre version of “skin the cat,” going from the Tree of Woe up to sitting on the top rope. Interesting.

With just under a minute to go, a Spear by Bats basically sealed the match. However, Bats wanted to “give Rey a message” by fucking around with Truth. Another Spear, a couple Batista Bombs, a spinebuster, etc. When Bats decided to finally make the pin, Rey yanked the ref out of the ring with four seconds left. Obviously he couldn’t get back in the ring in time, and that was it.

Like I said: lame.

Post-Segment 8: Ah, speaking of lame, here comes Vickie Guerrero. She calls bullshit on Rey’s actions, and books a match: we’re going to see Rey vs. Bats next week in a simple singles match to see who is the true #1 contender.

Final Thoughts: And that’s it. Storyline-wise, the night wasn’t anything exceptional. Wrestling-wise however, SD came through in spades. I don’t really have much to say that I didn’t already… other than the Khali squash, which had literally no reason to exist, the matches were pretty good. Bats/Truth was mediocre at best, but in today’s WWE, that’s not really a major complaint. It’s worth a watch on Hulu or with heavy fast-forward, but not a must-watch or anything. Pretty fun.

To me, the true treat is in a few days. RAW is going to be absolutely stellar. I really, really need to prepare a party for that. Bret Hart back for at least one show, Kofi/Orton’s rematch, DX/JeriShow… and with the magic of DVR, I’m even going to watch Impact for the first time in over a year. I am absolutely stoked for Monday. Hopefully you are too!

Rating (out of 5): 2.7