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SD!: ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW
Welcome to Friday Night Impact?
April 18, 2009

by PyroFalkon
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

 
It’s finals week for me, which means no precap or final analysis thoughts for you.
 
Pre-Segment 1: We’re opening with a match, but I must note that Melina is already on the SmackDown intro video. Yummy.

Segment 1 [Singles Match]: Big Show defeats Jeff Hardy by pin. Match was standard power-vs.-speed, although Jeff sold everything better than the average bear. Toward the end, Matt came down

to interfere. He got to the apron, but Jeff charged him. Matt dodged, but Jeff then DDTed Show. Jeff then hit the opposite ropes, used Show as a stepping stone, and did a flying crossbody over the top rope to take down Matt.

Shortly thereafter, Show managed to recover fully. He whipped Jeff into the corner, who tried to do the Whisper in the Wind. Show caught him in a powerbomb-like position, but Jeff slithered out. Here, I’m not sure what happened: Jeff either screwed up the way that was supposed to work and called an audible, or they didn’t have things fully planned. Either way, there was a split-second when they just looked at each other; then Jeff tried a punch, which was blocked, and Show countered with the knockout punch to end it.

After the match, Matt got in the ring and gave Jeff a half-dozen leg drops to show his dominance over Jeff’s corpse. Jerk.

Segment 2: After a commercial, Khali and Translator are already in the ring. Translator says how totally stoked Khali is for kissing Santina Marella next week. We get a picture of “her,” and Translator talks about how hot she is… blech. Anyway, apparently to warm Khali up, he’s going to kiss some hot chick from the University of Tennessee, where they are here.

Their target (who is, for once, not f’ugly) gets in the ring. After pleasantries, she kisses him, and she says how totally awesome it was because she’s never kissed a giant before. Khali blathers that it was good… but still not as good as Santina will be.

Segment 3 [Singles Match]: Gail Kim defeats Maryse by pin. Gail Kim’s music is by far the worst I’ve ever heard from a diva. She needs her old theme back.

That said? This was the finest women’s match WWE has put on SmackDown in a long fucking time, and probably was the best one Maryse has ever had. Gail made Maryse look like a complete badass, starting right from the first spot. Maryse played the taunting chickenshit, even did the hair flip thing in Gail’s face, then readied herself. As Gail got annoyed with the shenanigans and charged, Maryse threw her between the ropes. (Well, on replays, you can clearly see that Gail dove rather than being thrown, but hey, that’s the nature of pro wrestling, right?) Gail landed very stiffly on that sweet, grabable ass. Maryse followed up by flinging her kidney-first into the apron edge, then slamming her face into the apron itself. Ouch.

Maryse stayed in control for most of the rest of the match, laying out move after move that looked stiff, including a stand-up front Russian leg sweep, which just looks painful as hell. Crowd even got into it during this, which is definitely a step up from… well… pretty much any women’s match otherwise. Things went downhill once Gail had her comeback, as she Hulked Up to a by-then dead crowd, though they perked up on a fuck up when Gail tried a rebound corner flying crossbody. She didn’t jump far enough and basically smacked her wrists into Maryse’s chest; they both no-sold it for a second as they looked at each other, then they both sold it: Maryse sold it like a hit, and Gail sold it like a whiff. Whoops.

At least Gail’s new finisher was rather direct. She grabbed Maryse’s arm like a standard arm wrench, then put her foot up to Maryse’s chin like she was big booting her. As they both were in this uncomfortable position, Gail fell backwards. This wrenched Maryse’s arm out of the shoulder and brought Maryse’s face directly into Gail’s boot. Maryse not only sold it like a champ, she sold it like she didn’t know where the hell she us, a pretty accurate representation of how one would probably feel in such a position. Good lord. The crowd completely woke up at that point, and gave her a pretty loud pop.

Welcome back, Gail Kim!

Segment 4 [Singles Match]: John Morrison defeats R-Truth by pin. Match was decent, pretty back-and-forth, and a bit more technical in the beginning than I expected. No major cool spot happened, but Morrison held his own pretty well. Worth a watch, just not a keeper.

Segment 5: Trips wants to have a sit-down with Randy Orton; their “entrances” take a combined five minutes. Does that reek of pretending to work when you’re not actually working to anyone else?

Trips hits the ring first, but Orton, despite his music firing up, doesn’t show. Instead, Orton appears on the Titantron and says he’s so totally smart for not showing up due to their title match Backlash next Sunday. Huh, I didn’t realize it was so soon.

Orton narrates through a video package with allegedly creepy music, explaining that Trips is letting his emotions dictate his actions rather than being the legendary cerebral assassin. Orton says that he’s totally sure that Trips’s allies at Backlash will make a mistake and cost Trips the title. Orton is also not worried about their match on RAW, because Trips will totally mess up and DQ himself.

Trips laughs at this. Orton is slow to react (pre-taped, anyone?) and asks rhetorically why Trips thinks it was funny, and whether he thinks it was funny when Orton beat the crap out of his family-in-law, and kissed Stephanie.

Trips thinks for a moment, then laughs again. Orton asks if his children “got the Easter basket he sent them.”

Trips laughs again. Orton demands to know what’s so funny. Trips replies that it’s because he knows something Orton doesn’t know. Pause… Their one-on-one at RAW is a street fight. Orton looks displeased with this development. Trips concludes by saying that whether Orton believes Trips started this feud, Trips will be sure to finish it.

Well. That was mercifully short.

Segment 6: After a video recap of the Hardy situation from tonight, we see Matt in Theodore Long’s office. T-Long announces that the ending of the feud will be at Backlash, where it will be an I Quit match. Matt is stoked, said that when he makes Jeff say the two words, everyone will give up on him, and Matt will totally know that he’s the awesome brother. T-Long points out that he hopes Matt does, indeed, make Jeff say it, because if he doesn’t, Jeff’s efforts against Matt will be quite extreme (no pun intended). Matt shrugs this off: he says he’s up two-and-zero on Jeff, and he’ll “complete the sweep” at Backlash, even though no one said anything about this being a best-of-five series. Oh well.

Segment 7 [Singles Match]: Undertaker defeats Shelton Benjamin by pin. I was all set to write up this one as a squash, but good lord did SB make a match of it. Story here was that Taker still has a sore neck from his suicide dive over the top rope at WrestleMania against Shawn Michaels; SB’s momentum started with a good-looking neckbreaker. SB continued head- and neck-related offense, and even reversed a chokeslam to avoid an early loss. Still, at the end, SB had momentum, and chose to steal Taker’s throat slash. As Taker got up, SB readied to give him a Tombstone Piledriver. Taker no likey that, flipped over SB, and delivered his own Tombstone. That was it, and the match was a foregone conclusion, but it was entertaining.

Pre-Segment 8: MVP and T-Long blather in the locker room about Sherri Shepherd from The View wanting to interview MVP on WWE Superstars. Yeah, that’ll put asses in the seats.

Segment 8 [Singles Match]: Dolph Ziggler defeats MVP by pin. Match was technical and all right, but nothing noteworthy. I’m still not impressed with Dolph’s in-ring skills even though I love his catchphrase. Match ended with a Ziggler-applied roll up, though he had his hands full of the tights.

After the match, Ziggler introduced himself to MVP. Ziggler probably eats dessert before his vegetables, too.

Segment 9 [Singles Match]: Batista defeats Ted DiBiase by pin. Match was pretty good here. Story was that Bats’s legs were hurt, and DiBiase assaulted them from start to finish. He even whipped out a bow & arrow lock (I think that’s what it’s called) toward the end! Still, Bats won with a Batista Bomb, though he continued to sell the knee even as he crawled over to make the pin. Maybe that’ll be a story for Backlash?

Recommendation: Not bad at all. Worth a watch, but not a must-watch or anything.

 
E-MAIL PYROFALKON
BROWSE THE BYTE THIS RECAP ARCHIVES

<>

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OO: Royal Rumble PPV Preview and More
 
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TNA IMPACT: The Orlando Screwjob?
 
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OOTRR: Badd Blood 2004 Re-Revued
 
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RAW SATIRE: A Dimensional Cross-Rip?
 
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OO: Monday Night War Resumes and Lots More
 
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RAW SATIRE: Selective Memory
 
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RAW SATIRE: Santas Love Damon!
 
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RAW SATIRE: A Fish Out of Water
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 12/18
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 12/14

PPV: WWE TLC 2009 Recap
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 12/11
 
OO: TLC PPV Preview
 
RAW SATIRE: Pretty Fly for White Boys
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 12/08
 
OO NEWSFLASH: Umaga, Dead at 36
  
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 12/07
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 12/04
 
RAW SATIRE: The Bourne Identity Theft
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 12/01
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 11/30
 
RAW SATIRE: Going Rouge for Real!
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 11/27
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 11/24
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Survivor Series 2009
 
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 11/23
 
OO: Hogan in TNA, Shane in UFC?, and MORE!

OO: What I'll Remember About Chris Benoit

NEWS CENTRAL: All Updates About Benoit Tragedy
 

 

  


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