He says that he speaks not of The Streak because he’d rather show rather than say at WrestleMania. He takes it as an insult 

…And we cut to video hype of Shawn’s experiences at various WrestleManias. Cool, but a bit of a momentum-breaker. I’ve not heard Taker cut a promo this good in a long time.

Back to Taker, he says that Shawn is up to something, up to mind games… Taker says that Shawn is an icon in WWE. But the fact of the matter is, he’s 16-0 at the big one, so there.

Taker further points to the sky and says that Shawn has made “peace within,” but the time for prayer has just begun. He promises that at WrestleMania, he’ll prove to Shawn that it is, indeed, “Hell to get up to Heaven.” Music plays, and we get a great shot of Taker standing on the left side of the screen with the WrestleMania 25 logo behind him to the right.

Beautiful. Absolutely brilliant. And even though I was already totally stoked for this match, I’m even more stoked.

Segment 2: Jeff Hardy is in the back with Vickie Guerrero, and the latter tells the former that while there is no problem with him being in a Money in the Bank qualifying match tonight, she asks him to reconsider his decision against fighting Matt. Jeff refuses, but tells her to not be surprised if he cashes in the Money in the Bank on WrestleMania night.

The mind wonders… they’ve advertised that Matt and Jeff have their individual Money in the Bank qualifying match tonight, but have not announced their opponents. Are we doing the obvious here?

Guess we’ll find out in a moment…

Pre-Segment 3: Matt comes out for his Money in the Bank qualifier, but addresses the crowd first. He taunts Jeff and tells us all that he’s just running from his problems. However, Matt says that Jeff can’t run forever, so if both Hardys qualify for the MitB match, Matt will get to kick Jeff’s ass and so totally win the briefcase.

And out comes MVP. Huh, guess it’s not going down that way. My guess now is Matt loses, then causes Jeff to lose, and they move on to a singles match at the big one. We’ll see.

Segment 3 [Singles Match, winner goes to Money in the Bank]: MVP defeats Matt Hardy by pin. Right so far.

Good match, with plenty of technical action. Ending was a bit lame, with Matt going for the Twist of Fate; MVP counted by pushing Matt slightly and doing a quick flip-over pin.

MVP, in a nice dick move, pointed to the WrestleMania logo in clear view of Matt after the bell. Bwa ha ha ha!

It’s announced that Jeff’s opponent tonight will be Shelton Benjamin. This bodes well: after last year’s massive spot where SB did essentially a Senton from ladder to another one that was a bridged, I’m game to see him in the match. Here’s hoping my prediction goes correctly.

Segment 4 [Singles Match]: Maryse defeats Diva Search Eve by pin. Match was lame, though it ended on a spike DDT, which looked nicely stiff.

Post-Segment 4: After the match, My Melina came out of nowhere, though I admit I barely recognized her and need to commit seppuku due to that sin. Anyway, Melina beat up on Maryse a bit, I guess because she wasn’t very happy about taking the same DDT on Monday (though it made me happy for terrible, terrible reasons). Michelle McCool, who had been on commentary, jumped in the ring and big booted Melina to take hurt her pretty face. Bitch.

Segment 5: Vickie is in the ring, and we’re set for the contract signing segment between Edge and Big Show. Edge comes in and demands to know what’s up between her and Show; Vickie replies that the relationship between her and Show is strictly professional, so please believe her!

Edge says that he understands she loves him and all, but something still doesn’t add up. He wants to know what precisely is meant by “Show ‘taking care’ of Vickie.” Further, he questions why he was hit with the surprise on Monday that he’s defending his title against Show. It’s totally because she wanted to embarrass him!

She stammers, insists that it wasn’t to hurt or embarrass him, that he’s too special to her to do something like that. Edge then asks why Show was chosen specifically, considering who else could have been chosen.

Show himself comes on down, and answers for her. He insists also that their relationship is strictly business, but that Vickie and Show both believe that Show would make a better champion that Edge. And to put the period on that sentence, Show signs the contract and promises to beat him.

Edge asks Vickie if that’s the truth. Vickie doesn’t verbally reply and just kinda shrugs. Edge says that if that is the truth, he apologizes to her. Further, he says that Show is so totally wrong, and that he’ll prove he’s better in all ways than Show. Edge further posits that the reason that Vickie chose Show was to guarantee Edge’s win, because Vickie totally would never leave him. Show encourages Edge to sign the contract to find out, once and for all, who’s better at WrestleMania.

Then Superwigger’s music fires up, which draws the biggest pop I’ve heard for him since his surprise return at Royal Rumble 2008. Show tells him he smells funny, so Cena kicks him in the knee, then punches Edge. Show powders out, Cena throws the table at Edge, making him powder out.

Cena gets to Vickie. She’s scared… but doesn’t quite show it. Cena whispers something to her. As he backs away, she looks shocked, but… well, again, not quite scared, just shocked more like it. Cena tosses his hat into the crowd, flashes his Word Life gesture, and leaves. Well, that was certainly productive, wasn’t it?

Segment 6: After some video hype to the next Hall of Fame inductee is announced, back in the office, Vickie and Edge are there. Edge is upset that she is still allowing Cena to disrupt him, but insists on having the contract now to sign it and take on Show at WrestleMania. Vickie, through tears, says that the contract signing will be a big thing on Monday’s RAW. Edge asks why that’s happening, but Vickie dismisses him without answering.

Segment 7 [Singles Match, winner goes to Money in the Bank]: Shelton Benjamin defeats Jeff Hardy by disqualification. Either I’m good, or wrestling is that predictable.

…

Nah. I’m just good.

Match was quite good, as usual when SB is involved. He forced things to be a bit more technical than usual, which caused some triple-reversey goodness. Eventually Jeff went on a tear, hitting his Whisper in the Wind followed by a dropkick to SB’s face when SB sat up. This caused Matt Hardy to appear, then climb the ring stairs and… do nothing.

Jeff kept looking at him, but managed to hit the Twist of Fate on SB. That caused Matt to get in the ring, and the brothers just looked at each other: Matt with haughtiness, and Jeff with some degree of confusion and suspicion. I assumed SB was going to get a quick rollup at this point, but Matt took matters out of SB’s hands by punching him in the face. That drew the DQ, but Jeff didn’t look too upset; just more of that mix of confusion and shock.

Segment 8 [Singles Match]: Triple and Umaga wrestle to technically a DQ win for Trips, but wound up being a No Contest. Match was bland, with Trips doing most of the offense. At one point, Umaga tried a charge, and Trips did his signature “drop to the canvas and take the top rope with you to send the other guy over and outside” move. Which Umaga did, selling his knee.

Then Generation Douche hit ringside, and the ref bailed. Pussy.

Segment 9: GD taunted Trips, then Cody Rhodes got in the ring and started smacking Trips. This made the “physically provoke” part of the WrestleMania contract active, which means Trips was able to fight back. Still, fat lot of good he did three-on-one, though he made some headway.

Still, numbers eventually overwhelmed Trips, and eventually found himself flat on his back being randomly kicked and punched. Orton finally told them to hold him up so he could give him a couple big boots; why he didn’t do his dreaded Kryptonite-like Punt Kick of Doom is beyond me, as that would seem like the most logical course of action.

Oh wait, logic + Randy Orton = {empty set}. Okay, I get it now.

After a few more kicks, Orton calls off his boy toys, staying alone in the ring with Trips. Orton gets down on his knees over Trips, who gingerly brings his hand up to loving grace Orton’s lips. Orton slaps his hand away saying he’s not that kind of girl, then poses like a sissy before gingerly heel-toeing it to the ropes. One last loving looking at Trips’s back, and Orton starts to leave…

But Trips drools and crawls (more drooling than crawling) toward Orton. It’s not enough, and the weight of his broken heart causes Trips to collapse. Orton gets out of the ring but keeps his eyes locked on Trips, with lord knows what going through his mind.

…And that’s it. Wow, that went on entirely too long.

Recommendation: Meh. And that’s all you get from me since math is calling.

Don’t forget to set your clocks forward an hour on Saturday night, guys! See ya for RAW next week!