OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
AJ Getting the Band Back Together?
April 18, 2016

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

Anyone out there have experience/opinions of replacement grill grates? The matte finish cast iron ones that came with my fancy new grill a few years ago have reached a point of rustage that they must be replaced before this year's outdoor food season. They were supposedly porcelain treated, but after only two summers of use (and fairly attentive cleaning/maintenance on my part), they are toast, although the rest of the grill is doing great.

Other than just getting exact duplicates, the most affordable option seems to be shiny gloss porcelain coated cast iron, but some reviews say they chip too easily and then corrode even faster. There's also a lot of love for stainless steel (thin wires, instead of thick grids), but only if you are 100% sure it's real stainless (in which case, they will last essentially forever), and not just a coating of stainless on some kind of ferrous metal (I know the trick for telling is to take a magnet to whatever claims to be "stainless," and if it sticks, it's bogus, but I'm gonna have to mail-order from Amazon, so I won't have hands on until after I pay for it).

Or how about GrillGrates (tm), which are replacement grill grates with the brand name GrillGrates (tm), and which are rather pricey, but SEEM to be a pretty unique and worthwhile product. I say "seem" to because all of my gOOgling results in highly suspicious links that sound more like advertising than like honest reviews, and given that GrillGrates has an affiliate program, any positive review I see with a link to buy them makes me wonder. But if you are a real human being who has used them, and has never received so much as a penny of residuals, I'd like to know what you think.

With that plea for YOUR knowledge out of the way, here's me putting my lifetime of wrestling knowledge to use, breaking down what happened on tonight's RAW:

Opening Theme/Pyro/Etc, and we're NOT live, in London, England. Cole & The Gang quickly welcome us to a show that was taped earlier this afternoon (eastern time), but which OO heard was very good. Let's see if that report is borne out now that we can lay our own two eyes on final result...

THE AMBROSE ASYLUM IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS

To kick off the show, Dean Ambrose hits the ring for the decidedly lo-fi "Ambrose Asylum" talk show segment. His "set" consists of one potted plant, a very cheap throw rug, and poster board set up on an easel reading "AMBROSE ASYLUM" in sharpie marker. Oddly, the A's are the actual "A in a circle" Anarchy symbol, and NOT the stylized "A inside a D" symbol that is Dean's actual logo.

Ambrose reimagines the "talk show" concept by actually mimicking a late night talk show format, including an opening monologue. It may or may not be a regular thing, though, as he used this as an excuse to introduce James Corden's parents sitting in the front row. [And now, it is my very great hope that they were there taping a bit for "The Late Late Show," as Corden has used his parents as correspondents before, with hilarious results.]

But before long, it's time to get down to business, and Ambrose declares that his first guest is the man who got him started in this talk show stuff, and the man who is in control of RAW for the third week in a row: Shane McMahon.

They banter back and forth, complimenting each others' craziness (including the clip from WM32 of Shane jumping off the Cell), and then Deano wants to know: What's Shane's agenda? Is he here long term, or taking it week by week? Does he want ratings? Does he care more about the stock price? What's his deal?

Shane pauses, and answers succinctly that his agenda is the fans, plain and simple. If you listen to the fans and give them what they want, everything else just falls into place. And that's why he's brought in so many new faces in just three weeks, and why he's so intent on giving previously unfathomable opportunities to guys who've been around a while.

Enter Kevin Owens, who seizes upon Shane's talk of "opportunity" and instead turns it into an accusation of favoritism. Two weeks ago, Kevin Owens wass robbed of his IC Title, and nobody's done anything about that. Meantime, Shane is bending over backwards to accomodate a worthless scrub like Sami Zayn. Shane insists it's not favoritism or accommodation, it's just leveling the playing field because guys like Owens keep trying to cheat to advance, like when Owens blindsided Zayn, taking him out of a #1 Contender match, and then threatening to interfere when Zayn got another shot at the #1 Contendership.

Owens isn't buying it, because it shouldn't matter what he did to Zayn, since deep down, everybody knows that Zayn doesn't belong anywhere near the WWE Title, so Owens was just doing us all a favor. Cue up Zayn's music, and he hits the ring to remind Owens that he (Zayn) got to WWE first, and his level of performance helped convince WWE that the path Zayn took prepared him very well for life in WWE, and in a way, Zayn opened the door for others who took that same path to get a look from WWE. If anybody's just here riding somebody else's coattails, it's Owens riding Zayn's. ZING.

And now, Chris Jericho would like to say a few words. Notably, he gets a very strong babyface reaction; not the sort of split/wanker reaction that Owens got, but essentially a pure face pop. He also makes it clear that if anyone should be in line for the WWE Title, it's not the guys in the ring, and it's sure as hell not AJ Styles, who just lost to Jericho at WM32. Jericho is the best in the world and the greatest of all time, and in any sane universe, he'd be the one getting a title shot. BUt instead, Shane McMahon is "drunk with power," and making all kinds of asinine decisions.

Shane just shrugs and says that from what he hears, the WWE Universe thinks his decisions have been pretty good. So with that in mind, he decides to drop two new ones on us: at Payback, Jericho can try to prove his "best in the world" rhetoric in a one-on-one match against Dean Ambrose.... and also at Payback, if Kevin Owens doesn't think Sami Zayn belongs in WWE, he can try to prove it in another one-on-one match.

All four guys start getting hot and are jawing back and forth. Ambrose calls for a very brief truce, so that he can send his potted plant out of the ring with Shane McMahon. But as soon as that's done, the fists start flying, with Ambrose and Zayn getting the better of it, until JeriKO bail out.

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SAMI ZAYN vs. CHRIS JERICHO

I was sort of thinking they'd do the obvious tag match, but I guess that can wait till next Monday. Instead, we return to find this match already in progress, and Cole also informs us that we will get Ambrose vs. Owens as our main event, all by decree of Shane McMahon. I'll take it!

Like I said, joined in progress, with Zayn getting his ass handed to him... it's sort of a precursor to a real heel beatdown segment, though, as Zayn fires up after just a minute or two. He busts out tons of flashy stuff and lights up the crowd for an extended flurry, but when he tries for his run-up-the-corner set-up, Jericho just shoves his leg out from under him.

Zayn gets crotched on the top rope. Double jump dropkick by Jericho sends him tumbling to the floor. Break in the action means we break for...

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Back, and the two men are brawling outside the ring, with Jericho in control. After a hard suplex on the floor, Jericho dives into the ring and cockily awaits a count-out win. Zayn does not oblige, and so Jericho has to continue the heel beatdown in a mostly punchy-stompy manner with a few hope spots tossed in.

When Jericho settles in with a dreaded chinlock, Zayn finally gets his for-real comeback. High velocity series of near falls off of simple moves (dropkicks, shoulder tackles, clotheslines) really kicks us up a gear, and then they bring out the big guns.

Jericho finally trips up Zayn, and goes for the Walls. Zayn flips out, but Jericho wins a follow-up exchange, and goes for the Lionsault. Zayn gets his knees up to block. Zayn with a Blue Thunder Bomb for the first really convincing near fall of the match.

But Jericho kicks out, and the crowd's really into it, now, as Zayn heads to the top rope.... and whiffs! Jericho immediately pounces and cinches in the Walls. It's dead center of the ring, so it's a struggle, but Zayn is finally able to get a rope break.

Jericho waits till the ref's count is to 4, and he grudgingly releases it. Zayn uses the break to prop himself up in the ropes, and he looks out of it. So Jericho charges, and Zayn sidesteps. Jericho tumbles out to the floor.

Zayn lines up for a dive to the floor, but Jericho gives the international sign for "Screw This Noise" and scurries over to a different side of the ring, where he starts jawing with fans. So Zayn just rolls out of the ring, and catches Jericho completely off guard with his "Cut the Corner" Tornado DDT. Awesome.

Zayn rolls Jericho into the ring, and has everything lined up for the Helluva Kick. But at the last second, Jericho just drops down and curls up into a ball, demanding a rope break from the ref. So the ref decides to pull Zayn out of the corner, and thus, his vision is blocked when Jericho reached up and pokes Zayn in the eyeball. Ouch.

Zayn is wobbly and one-eyed in the center of the ring, so Jericho hits him with a Codebreaker. Zayn is too busy holding his eye to kick-out.

Your Winner: Chris Jericho, via pinfall, in 16 minutes. Really good match, with an ultra-old-school finish that keeps Jericho at the most credible and relevant he's been since he's switched over to sporadic 3- or 4-month runs. It's usually been in-and-out with the goal of putting over younger guys. This time, there's been some effort put back into building Jericho up, so that when he does end up putting Ambrose over (presumably), it'll mean more. Good stuff here.

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Backstage: the perpetually delightful Mauro Ranallo (sitting in for Renee Young, who did not make the Euro tour due to visa issues) is standing by with AJ Styles. Maruo lobs a softball about how AJ's gone from a surprise debut at the Rumble to #1 Contender in less than 3 months.... Styles starts in on an answer about how he put in 15 years of hard work, so it shouldn't be surprising that things are moving fast now that he's finally here....

But then, he trails off, because Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson have sauntered into the picture. As recently as 3 and a half months ago, they were working together in Japan as The Bullet Club, and look at them now: all in WWE together. Mauro steps out, and lets them enjoy their reunion, in which Gallows and Anderson reveal that AJ "put in a good word," and that's why they're here, and they're willing to pay AJ back. Anything he wants.... maybe how about that thing with the thing at the place that they were talking about a few nights ago?

But as soon as Gallows starts referencing some vague plot, Styles suggests they step away from the camera and find some privacy. Hmmmmmmm....

ENZO AMORE & COLIN CASSADY vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ (Tag Title Semi-Final Match)

As is their custom, Enzo and Cass take several minutes before their match to cut a promo. Translated to English, Enzo basically says that the Dudleys are skating by on image and reputation, and that won't be enough for them to get a win tonight over a team who are able to walk the walk. Or, as Enzo put it, "We're like A-cups. Maybe you like us, maybe you don't, but either way, we're real." He didn't mention it, but you know what else real boobs have going for them that the plastic ones don't? They're S-A-W-F-T.

I digress.

Dudleys make their entrance, and after about a 20 second flurry by Enzo on Devon, Bubba tags in, clobbers Enzo, and chucks him out of the ring. It's been 45 whole seconds since the bell rang, so let's break for....

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Back, and nothing's changed. Enzo is firmly entrenched as your Face in Peril. Bubba is just outstanding as he wears his annoyance with Enzo on his sleeve. Just dismissive, patronizing rudeness as Bubba narrates the beatdown.

But anytime a heel is just toying with a good guy, you know how it's gonna end: Bubba got greedy, and went to the second rope to drop a senton. Enzo moved, and Bubba splatted.

Hot tag to Cass. Corresponding move to Devon. Advantage: Cass. But then, Bubba is able to reach out and blind tag himself in... he thinks he's got an easy open shot on Cass, but Cass actually does see Bubba coming, and sidesteps. Bubba winds up hitting Devon with a big clothesline.

Big boot to Bubba. Make sure to shove Devon all the way to the floor. Big slam to Bubba. Tag to Enzo. Rocket Launcher to Bubba. Fin.

Your Winners: Enzo and Cass, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. Solid match, with the Duds doing a delightful job of heeling it up, while Enzo and Cass perfectly executed the formula that viewers of NXT should be used to (Enzo gets his ass kicked, Cass comes in and cleans up the mess).

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OUTFLANKING THE ROMAN EMPIRE

Roman Reigns hits the ring to say a few words. He is booed viciously. I mean, if Reigns' fan reaction was ground beef, it's at the point where it's now too lean to make a decent cheeseburger; 85/15 is my personal limit on that, and London was definitely giving Reigns 90/10 or higher, boos/cheers.

But to Reigns credit, he seems to have a whole different and more self-aware tone, right from the get go. Instead of acting like his new catchphrase is a magic trick that everybody must enjoy, he opens with, "So hey, there's this thing I've been sayin', but until you understand it, I'm gonna say it again: I'm not a bad guy, I'm not a good guy, I'm just THE guy." Just with that little tweak, it's a much more effective opening line.

The more cocky prick-ish vibe continues as Reigns talks up AJ Styles (world traveler, technical mastermind) only to declare that none of that matters, because AJ's never had the "Big Fight" against a Guy like Roman. Initially, London gives Reigns lots more boos for his confident boasting, but as Reigns prattles on, they switch over to a "BOOOOOOOOO-RING" chant. [My guess is it isn't really an intellectually honest one, and it's more that the wanker crowd doesn't want to give Vince/WWE the satisfaction of them booing for Roman if Roman is TRYING to get booed. So instead, they will reject Roman's presence entirely, by chanting "BORING."]

Whatever the case, my stance is that Reigns seems lots more natural and comfortable as the cocky asshole, but that assumes "cocky asshole" was his intent. At this point, who knows?

Before the crowd can figure out some other new way to shit all over Reigns, AJ Styles comes on down to respond to Reigns' claims. First, Styles admits that Reigns is the real deal and a worthy champion. To beat Reigns AJ knows he will have to have the match of his life.

"But that's OK. Having the match of my life is kind of what I do." Way to score a zinger, there, Cletus! Seriously. AJ continues, and expands on the idea that his ability to perform inside the ring got him noticed, got him hired, and then, it got him the title shot. And he thinks it will be enough to win him that title at Payback.

As soon as Reigns starts talking again, the crowd insta-chants "BORING," and again, I call shenaningans. Roman's little monologue is all about how Styles is clearly a fan favorite, and Reigns can't take that away from him. But while the fans like AJ, they will never afford him the respect that comes with being WWE Champion, because Reigns cares a lot more about being respected WITH the title than being liked without it, and he will fight accordingly at Payback.

The segment probably should have ended there.... but they scripted a comeback from AJ, who says, "I plan on being liked AND respected, and that's why I'll make a PHENOMENAL champion." Play AJ's music, because that is an awkward as hell punchline! D'oh.

But wait, there's more! As AJ walks up the ramp, with Roman staring daggers at him, Gallows and Anderson attack from behind! AJ does a bit of a doubletake, selling the notion that he's surprised by this. But at the same time, he's not exactly going back to the ring to call them off, either. Hmmmmmm.

Gallows and Anderson polish off Reigns with a combo boot/neckbreaker, and exit the ring. Before we can see what happens when they reach Styles, we break for....

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Backstage: Roman Reigns is WALKING~! And AJ Styles approaches him, claiming innocence... but Reigns is having none of it, saying he knows AJ's past with Gallows and Anderson, he saw them tell AJ they owed him one, he saw what they did last week to his cousins (the Usos), and it's not too hard to fill in the blanks.

AJ admits that, yeah, it's true, they're his boys and they go way back.... but he doesn't know why they did what they did, he just knows that he (AJ) didn't put them up to it. Swear to god.

Reigns just shakes his head dismissively and says AJ can bring his friends, bring an army, it doesn't matter, cuz this is One vs. All. Whee! Roman's back to spitting out t-shirt slogans!

FANDANGO vs. BARON CORBIN

Dolph Ziggler is sitting in on commentary, but we're all adults here, so let's not pretend this is something it isn't.

Your Winner: Baron Corbin, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. After the match, Corbin instigates a brawl with Ziggler. Corbin also ends the brawl with another End of Days on the floor. Ouch.

In more pressing matters: is it just me, or was that clearly NOT the actual Andre Battle Royale Trophy? I mean, if you don't want to ship it overseas, that makes perfect sense, but did WWE really just try to pass off a smaller version (sitting on a coffee table, so it still appeared to be 7 feet tall) as the real thing?

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MIZTV

We return to find Miz and Maryse in the ring. Maryse performs her duties as Miz's hype woman, and Miz proceeds to mock the Royals because.... well, because apparently the Brits don't like when you do that, even though monarchy seems pretty silly to the rest of us.

After getting the cheap heat at the expense of royal couples and the royal babies, Miz and Maryse also declare themselves a true power couple of global significance, unlike any royalty or Hollywood A-listers. As evidence for this, they make out for a good minute or so, which proves nothing about power, but pretty much annoys the hell out of everyone. Men: "Dammit, how is Miz able to score THAT?" Women: "Yuck, why is Maryse settling for THAT?"

Anyway, all of this is just prelude to our real purpose here tonight. Cesaro's music interrupts the smoochfest, and gets a huge pop. Miz chides him for not waiting for the host to introduce him, and derides Cesaro as a "background player" who should always demure to the A-lister.

Then, for no readily apparent reason, Miz declares that if Cesaro wants to come out here before his cue, he'll have to wait until Miz performs a scene from "Taken" that he's been workshopping. You guessed it, it's the phone scene, with Cesaro in the role of the terrorist, and Miz as the man with Very Specific Set of Skills. Cesaro can walk away, and Miz will not seek him out, but if Cesaro insists on pursuing this matter, Miz WILL beat him for the IC Title at Payback. Cute, I guess; this may or may not be something Miz could put into his regular arsenal of promo tricks....

Meantime, Cesaro laughs it off, and throws a different one of Miz's own tricks in his face: When Cesaro hand goes up, Miz's mouth goes shut. And also, Cesaro has a movie scene he'd like to perform. In memory of Roddy Piper (who would have had his 62nd birthday on Sunday), Cesaro declares "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass." Cesaro spits out his gum. "And I'm all out of bubblegum." Nice.

Miz interprets this as a threat, and asks the crowd if they really want to see Cesaro vs. Miz, right here, right now, instead of at Payback.... he really juices them up, only to declare, "But oh yeah, I forgot. You already have a match scheduled, Cesaro. Against THIS man."

With that, Rusev, Sheamus, and Alberto del Rio hit the ring, and it appears the scheduled match is against Rusev. But Cesaro says he figured something like this might happen, so before he came out, he asked Shane McMahon for a favor. And Shane granted it. So now, it will be Miz and the League of Nations facing off against Cesaro and his partners.....

Cesaro rips off his pull-apart suit to reveal a New Day t-shirt. And sure enough, the tag champs are here to turn this into an 8-man tag, when we return from these....

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THE NEW DAY & CESARO vs. THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS & MIZ (w/ Maryse)

Anybody else notice that even though the New Day's face turn is fully established and is going nowhere, they continue to fight out of the camera-side/screen-right corner? It's not just a one-off fluke thing, it's now up over a month of them doing it, even though faces have fought out of the far-side/camera-left corner on WWE TV for the entirety of my adult life. Is there some significance to this? Or did somebody decide that the camera angles/presentation of the Unicorn Stampede would be "screwed up" if they had to do it in a different corner?

I digress again. We join the match in progress, with Eggsavier Woods already acting as the Level One Face in Peril. He takes a 2- minute mini-beatdown, and gets a Decoy Hot Tag to Big E, who goes on a tear, building up to the criss-cross Warrior Splash for a near fall.

Then, Kofi comes in, and gets to run through a few moves, leading up to aforementioned Unicorn Stampede, complete with Trombone Accompaniment.

Then, Woods tags back in, and it heads south pretty fast. Now, Woods is our For Real Face in Peril, and takes a lickin' from the LoN. After Sheamus lands the Ten of Clubs, Alberto adds in a step-up enzuigiri, and Woods tumbles out to the floor. Break in the action means we break for....

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Back, and in homage to our Fallen Randalls, del Rio has Woods in a chinlock. Woods fires up, but a quick tag to Miz once again cools him off. A few moments later, Woods does get some separation, but it's just a tease, as the LoN swarm and pull Cesaro/Kofi/Big E off the apron, so nobody's home when Woods dives in for a tag.

But if at first you don't succeed, try try again! With Rusev trying to yank a limp Woods back into the ring, Woods reached up and clotheslined Rusev's neck over the top rope. Woods dives in and adds a DDT. Both men are down.

And both men are able to get tags. Hot tag to Cesaro, with Sheamus coming in fresh for the heels. Cesaro is en fuego, running the Uppercut Express on all four of his opponents (Sheamus and Miz inside the ring, in the normal configuration; but also, exiting the ring to make sure to share the Forearm Love with Rusev and ADR).

When Cesaro sets up to Swing Sheamus, Miz breaks it up, and the whole thing turns into a Pier 8 Brawl. By the time the dust settles, 6 guys have hit finishers (the most impressive being Big E's unique backhanded snatch of Miz for the Big Ending), and we're back down to the legal men. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Sheamus, and we're done.

Your Winners: Cesaro and the New Day, via pinfall, in about 15 minutes. Very fine match, and taken in conjunction with a fairly amusing MizTV that set everything up, this added up to about a half hour of seamless quality entertainment. Well done.

Backstage: Mauro is standing by with Charlotte, and tries to get her to address the fact that she DID tap out to Nattie last week, but the ref was too busy disqualifying her dad to see it. Charlotte dismisses the implication, and points out that all that matters is who has the championship. End of story.

That's when Natalya shows up and says that she agrees. The title is all that matters, and that's why Nattie asked Shane McMahon to grant her another title shot. At Payback, it's Natalya vs. Charlotte, once again.... and this time, Nattie's bringing back-up to make sure the Nature Boy doesn't pull any hijinx. In Nattie's corner: Bret "the Hitman" Hart. Cool.

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NATALYA/BECKY LYNCH/SASHA BANKS/PAIGE vs. CHARLOTTE/NAOMI/TAMINA/SUMMER RAE

Sad that Emma's not in there for the heels. Emma's hugely improved over the past year or so, and her heel persona (developed in NXT) seemed to get a huge boost on last Thursday's SD, when Emma beat Paige in a match, and cut a promo specifically targeting Becky. But here? No Emma. She could easily have replaced Tamina (who could just be ringside muscle) or Summer (who is a pretty random inclusion).

Oh well, I don't make the matches, I just report on them. And I can report that Paige is the rock star of the opening moments, as her fellow Brits go crazy for her fast start. Nattie, Becky, and Sasha all take turns, but Paige's offense stands out.

It's very one sided, and eventually, the heels decide to huddle up and regroup outside the ring.

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Back, and Naomi is in control over Becky. Frequent tags by the heels keep Becky in the wrong part of town for a good 4-5 minutes. But Becky finally sidesteps a charge, and dives to her corner to make the tag to Nattie.

Nattie goes to town on Summer, just dominates. So much so that Nattie pauses to celebrate a bit. Summer uses that time to scurry to her corner and tag in Charlotte. Charlotte was looking pretty disinterested in joining the fight, but has no choice... Nattie drops her with a discus clothesline, which requires Naomi to break the fall.

All hell breaks loose, our second Pier Eighter of the night. And just like the previous one, this one ends up with the legal women isolated in the ring after everyone else powers out. Charlotte appears to be nominally in control, and she sets up for the Figure Eight.... but Nattie flips through and counters it into the Sharpshooter. Since the title is not on the line, Charlotte insta-taps to avoid injury.

Your Winners: Natalya/Becky/Sasha/Paige, via submission, in about 10 minutes. Another very serviceable match. And another case of Nattie beating the champ, which is really getting us to the point of recreating the very first NXT Takeover, where Charlotte and Natalya had an epic match that served as the genesis of all the upgrades we've seen in the division over the past year. If they duplicate that at Payback (both Ric and Bret were at ringside for that one, too), it'll be glorious.

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THE USOS vs. THE VAUDEVILLAINS (Tag Tourney Semi-Final Match)

Really time compressed, with Jimmy doing a mini-Ricky Morton for about 2 minutes, before a hot tag to Jey. Although Jey was the fresh man, he had his shoulder taped up, selling injuries from last week (when Gallows and Anderson attacked)... the Vaudevillains used this to their advantage, and when Jey took to the air with an attempted plancha, Simon Gotch sidestepped, and Jey landed with a thud.

Jey gets chucked, shoulder-first, into the ringside barricade... Aiden English manages to run off Jimmy... back in the ring, the Whirling Dervish hits, and the Vaudevillains score the upset.

Your Winners: the Vaudevillains, via pinfall, in about 4 minutes. Not a whole lot to sink your teeth into, other than the fact that the next #1 Contenders to the New Day will be one of the NXT call-ups. Also, I guess this advances the cause of the Vaudevillains as true heels; first, they dropped the olde-tymey piano entrance music after the first week or so, and now, they weren't exactly chivalrous in winning this match. The harmless goofs are getting decidedly more sinister, which is good.

FYI: they also announced that the Enzo/Cass vs. Vaudevillains match takes place at Payback and NOT on next Monday. That leaves the New Day free to have some other match at the PPV, which is certainly not what I was expecting.

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APOLLO CREWS vs. HEATH SLATER (w/ Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel)

Other than the fact that the Social Outcasts were missing a man (Adam Rose has been suspended for a Wellness Violation), there's nothing to see here. Move along.

Your Winner: Apollo Crews, via pinfall, in 3 minutes flat. I can state, with authority, that this is a thing that happened.

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DEAN AMBROSE vs. KEVIN OWENS

Bell rings, and this one is a slobberknocker from the get-go. Both guys just throwing haymakers, then switching over to knife edge chops, back and forth, tit for tat, with no clear cut winner.

Ambrose finally lands a knee to the gut, but only sustains the advantage for a minute or so until a well placed elbow from Owens lands. Owens' decision to taunt and mock the crowd gives Ambrose just enough daylight to sneak in a few punches here and there, but for the most part, this is a mini-beatdown, complete with a trip to Chinlock City.

The chinlock is when Ambrose fires up... Owens out of the ring.... suicide dive hits... Owens tries to scurry away.... Ambrose having none of it.... Ambrose throws Owens into and across the announce table. Owens is in a heap behind the desk, and Ambrose is enjoying his handiwork, so we break for our final....

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Back, and Ambrose is still in command, and the announcers are in disarray (Cole's chair is gone, and it sounded like JBL might have hurt himself trying to get out of the way).... but order is restored when Ambrose goes up top, only to have Owens knock his leg out.

Ambrose winds up hanging upside down in the corner, so Owens hits a Cannonball of Woe to jumpstart another heel beatdown, this one more severe. Included is a wicked apron-to-the-floor Frog Splash that looked for all the world like a rib-breaker. Owens tried to take a count-out after that, but Ambrose made it back in.

A bit more punishment for Deano, and before long Owens has things set up for a superplex. But Ambrose punches out of it, and Owens falls to the mat. Ambrose perches himself on the top rope, intending to hit the standing elbow.... but Owens sees him, and rolls out of the ring, instead, thinking he just outsmarted Ambrose.

But he didn't. Ambrose just turned 45 degrees to his left, and leapt all the way to the floor, landing the elbow, afterall. Ouch.

Ambrose rolls Owens back into the ring, but Owens catches him with a stomp when Ambrose tries to re-enter. Both men are in bad shape, and when they meet in the middle of the ring, they return to where they started: just throwing punches at each other. This time, it breaks in Ambrose's favor, and he switches to the punch/chop combo. Owens gets a rope break, and when Ambrose re-approaches him, Owens clotheslines Ambrose's neck over the top rope.

Ambrose is prone in the ring, so Owens heads up top.... but Ambrose cuts him off, and joins him on the ropes. Ambrose lands a superplex. Near fall. Ambrose calls for Dirty Deeds. Owens escapes. Owens calls for the Pop Up Powerbomb. Ambrose counters into a rana. Ambrose pauses to consider his next move, but then walks right into a superkick by Owens. Near fall.

Now, Owens is really frustrated. Once again, he decides to hit the top rope. And once again, Ambrose cuts him off, and joins him. This time, they go back and forth, jockeying for position, until finally, Owens gains the upperhand, hoists Ambrose up across his shoulders, and hits a top rope brainbuster. Holy Shit.

And yet, for some reason, the London crowd isn't quite as into it as you'd think. It's no doubt partly fatigue (3 hours is a long time, and they did start off very hot), but there are also some of the Bad Kind of Smart Fan out there, who start actively annoying this very good main event, to do the Announcer Role Call. Luckily, this seemed to serve as a wake-up call to the rest of the fans, and the wankers never got past "JBL JBL JBL" before everybody seemed to get vested in the Ambrose/Owens End Game.

Anyway, Owens huge move still only nets a 2 count. Another back and forth grapple, and another win for Owens, who plants Ambrose, and goes to the top rope. He flies, with another Frog Splash.

But this time, Ambrose gets the knees up. Near fall. Another grapple into a pinning combo by Ambrose and an escape by Owens, and then BAM!, Flash Dirty Deeds.

Your Winner: Dean Ambrose, via pinfall, in 15 minutes. Good match, certainly better than the crowd gave it credit for. Granted, these are two of my favorite guys in WWE right now, so I might be biased... but I really liked this one, and how it sets up Ambrose/Jericho as a significant "get well" PPV match/feud for Ambrose after his ignominious loss to Lesnar at WM.

After the Match: speak of the devil, Jericho shows up to attack Ambrose from behind. Ambrose gets in a grand total of zero offense, and Jericho finally drops him with a Codebreaker. Jericho -- spectacularly douchey in his red velvet pants, no shirt, vest and scarf -- stands tall over Ambrose's carcass as we fade to black....

And so ends the show... and it's another good one, on par with last week's. No fireworks, really. Just a carefully portioned bit of storywork -- most notably the potential Bullet Club reunion, but also they way all the pieces fit together (from the opening Ambrose Asylum, to Jericho's win in a good match, to Ambrose's win in the main event) to really make Jericho/Ambrose feel like a big deal -- supported by lots and lots of really good in-ring action.

In other words: more sustainable episodic TV. What more needs to be said?

It's another B-plus from me, this week. Here's hoping WWE keeps it up...

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.