OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Stange Bedfellows
April 11, 2016

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

The newest episode of "Ride Along" on the WWE Network features a drive between Columbus and Dayton, OH. I saw that, and I briefly was like "Oh, neat, I've made that drive a thousand times!"

And then I remembered, "Oh, wait, I've made that drive a thousand times."

I stand by my hometown pride, and it even extends to admitting that Columbus is probably one of the most exciting/evolving cities I've seen in the past 10 years or so. But man alive, the drive between Dayton and Columbus is just the worst, and makes it easy to crack jokes about this being the podunk backwaters of America.

But seriously, everybody, it's just a trick of which ways the two cities sprawled. Head west out of Columbus, and civilization just DIES after about 2 miles. Then, the WWE crew got off the highway at exactly the SECOND EXIT after which Dayton finally starts to show itself. [The Nutter Center is near Wright St. and the air force base, which is the very very farthest north-east boundary of "Dayton," and it's where they stopped.]

D'oh; the chance to see any familiar sights (other than road signs) basically turned out to be zero. I saw them stop at an In 'n' Out Burger that I've actually been to (on the LA-to-Ontario episode), but WWE Ride Along passes through Dayton, and as far as anyone knows, it's nothing but interstates and Holiday Inn lobbies.

Regardless, I still recommend "Ride Along," generallys peaking, as one of the watch-worthy shows on the Network, in case you've been skipping it. If it was longer, it might test the patience, but it's two separate carloads of WWE guys and girls, cut into one 25 minute show. So if you like "Carpool Karaoke" on Corden, or Conan's ride along skits, this is basically exactly that: it's just that it's two of them, 10 minutes each, but presented in parallel. Good times.

Will tonight's RAW continue those good times? Let's quit the jibber jabber and find out:

KEEPIN' IT FRESH, WITH SHANE-O-MAC

No preliminaries (video package, theme music, etc.), just a slam cut to the inside of the Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA, where Shane McMahon is already on his way to the ring. He's in charge of RAW again this week, and we are told that WWE made this decision as a result of an outpouring of response from the fans.

Uhhhhh, nice try, but if you were really listening to the fans, Roman Reigns wouldn't have just headlined WrestleMania as a babyface. But on behalf of everybody in OO Nation, I hereby let it slide, so long as we keep up this pretext of trying out a fresh, Authority-free direction with RAW.

To that end, Shane thanks the fans and says he's gonna keep on serving up more of the same. He's got some ideas for tonight's show that we just might like.... (1) Charlotte will defend her Women's Title against Natalya, (2) the opening round of a tag team title tournament will begin, with the eventual winners to be #1 Contenders to the New Day, and (3) Sami Zayn was supposed to be part of last Monday's Fatal Fourway, but Kevin Owens screwed him out of his chance to become #1 Contender, so later tonight, Zayn will face #1 Contender AJ Styles, and if Zayn wins, he can join the Payback WWE Title Match, and it will be a Triple Threat against Roman Reigns.

The crowd liked the first two, but loses its shit when it hears that third one.

But it's not quite a unanimous reaction: he's Kevin Owens to poop the party. He does not care for Sami Zayn, and he doesn't understand what Zayn has done to deserve any more opportunities than Owens himself. Owens says he was robbed at W32, Owens says he wasn't even the guy who got pinned last week on RAW's Fatal Fourway, and hell, where is his IC Title rematch? Forget handing out undeserved opportunities to Sami Zayn, how about actually giving Kevin Owens what he rightfully deserves?

Shane ponders, and decides there might be a kernal of truth to Owens' claims. He says if Owens wants a shot at the IC Title, we can do that. Owens breaks out in a grin. But Shane says, first, Owens has to earn the match. Owens goes ballistic, as he is owed a rematch. Nope, Shane wants him to earn it, and he's got just the guy...

Owens will face..... CESARO~! Oh, and it's happening RIGHT NOW~!

Cesaro makes his entrance (complete with rip-away suit, again), but we all know that "right now" always means After These....

[ads]

CESARO vs. KEVIN OWENS (#1 Contender Match for the IC Title)

Cesaro wins the opening feeling-out, causing Owens to bail out to regroup. While he does that, we get a sneak peak of Miz and Maryse scouting the competition on a backstage monitor. Owens rejoins the fight, and manages to get a side headlock. He loudly proclaims that his is the best headlock, and all other headlocks are dumpster fires by comparison.

So, of course, Cesaro counters into a headlock of his own. Re-counter by Owens, but then Cesaro counters into some kind of super headlock where he actually cinches in a right handed headlock, punches Owens in the gut, goes behind, snatches a left handed headlock, forearm to the gut, go behind, right handed headlock, and.... well, you get the idea. Stuff like this and Owen's "Chinlock City" are welcome ways to spice up the often bland, zombie-like exhibition of restholds that are part and parcel of the "WWE Style."

Needless to say, being out-headlocked causes Owens to freak out again, and he jumps out of the ring and slams the announce table. In a lovely moment, Owens sees JBL's cowboy hat tumble off the table, and has a moment of reflection. He regains his cool, picks up JBL's hat, and says "I'm so sorry, I got carried away, John."

Back into the ring, and Owens is suddenly more focused, targeting Cesaro's SURGICALLY RECONSTRUCTED~! shoulder, and taking complete control of the match. The beatdown continues that way for about 2-3 minutes, until Owens gets cocky and tries to imitate Cesaro's running uppercut to the corner.... Cesaro moves, and shows him how it's done, rattling off a quartet of the uppercuts for a near fall.

But Owens dodges a corner charge, and Cesaro goes shoulder-first into the ring post. Heel advantage, restored. As Cesaro tumbles out to the mat, Owens celebrates the end of the hope spot, as we break for....

[ads]

Back, and apparently, Owens has just snuffed out another hope spot, one that included a run-up belly-to-back superplex by Cesaro. Owens last sequence on offense builds up to a pretty vicious Crossface using the bad shoulder. It's dead center of the ring, so Cesaro gives up on a rope break, and instead manages to flip Owens onto his back, for a pinning combo....

Owens has to kick out and release the hold, but Cesaro snatches an ankle, and flips it into a Sharpshooter, in one smooth move. However, Owens is near the ropes and gets the easy break. He adds a quick boot to Cesaro's shoulder, and Cesaro crumbles. Owens heads to the top rope and connects on a wicked Frog Splash.

Cesaro just barely kicks out, and "THIS IS AWE SOME" chants begin to pop up. Speaking of popping up, Owens calls for the Pop Up Powerbomb, but Cesaro leapfrogs him, entirely, and bounces back with his corkscrew uppercut. Cesaro follows up with the Giant Swing, but only gets 3 rotations before his shoulder gives out.

Owens sees this, and chuckles. One last shoulder attack, and he goes for the pop-up powerbomb, expecting it to hit. Cesaro manages to roll through into a pinning combo, but Owens is ready for it, and flips out, but Cesaro has a counter to the counter: he turns it into a flash Neutralizer! One, two, and THREE!

Your Winner, and NEW #1 Contender for the IC Title: Cesaro, via pinfall, in about 15 minutes. Solid match, with an opening sequence that actually popped more than you'd usually expect, though it might have felt like it got rushed in the end game, and the match ended just as it was really getting good. Still, absolutely nothing to complain about, and if you read my RAW preview, you know I'm 1000% behind the idea of Cesaro going after the IC.

Backstage: Charlotte can't believe she has to defend her title, it's only been 8 days since WrestleMania, and who is Natalya, anyway? Ric is there, and agrees with everything she says. For a minute or two, they are in complete agreement that this is a travesty.

Then, for reasons I can't even begin to fathom, "Dr." Phil shows up, and proceeds to ramble his way through some alleged hillbilly wisdom. It's sometimes self-contradictory, and always tough to decipher, but it amounts to him telling Charlotte to be her own woman, because she's too talented to keep cheating and letting her dad's shortcomings tarnish her career. Then Ric tries to defend himself, but "Dr." Phil WHOOOOOOOs him down until the Flairs must resign the fight.

Elsewhere Backstage: Kevin Owens confronts Shane McMahon, and says it's happening again... Owens is getting screwed, and nobody's doing anything about it. He asks what Shane's gonna do to make this right. Shane figures it's probably about as right as it gets, so, ummm, NOTHING. Owens just shakes his head and says, Fine, if that's how you feel, then just know that I'm gonna make it right on my own, and whatever happens to Sami Zayn the rest of the night, well, that's on YOUR head, Shane.

Shane is taken aback, but has a very simple solution: he ejects Owens from the building for the rest of the night, because he is NOT screwing Zayn out of this opportunity again. And if Owens won't go on his own, Shane will have the cops escort him out. Owens has nothing to do except storm off in frustration.

[ads]

Prefatory Matters: Shane McMahon announced a tag team tournament earlier tonight, and now WWE Tag Champs, the New Day, are here to kick off said tournament. They make sure we are aware that April's Awesome folllow-up to March Madness is sponsored by Booty-Os, and then take us through the 8-team brackets. There look like this:

Usos
Social Outcasts

Golden Truth
Vaudevillians

Enzo/Cass
Ascension

Lucha Dragons
Dudley Boyz

Who will emerge victorious? Does it even matter, since they will still lose to the New Day? Let's start finding out, with our very first tourney match, RIGHT NOW~! Or, more accurately: after these....

[ads]

LUCHA DRAGONS vs. THE DUDLEYS (Tag Tourney Match)

So, uhhhhh, we join the match in progress, and Kalisto is writhing in pain outside the ring, while trainers check on him. Kalisto was the legal man, when he landed hard on a dive out of the ring, then popped up, and took an additional stiff clothesline from Devon. We are told that since then, he's been receiving medical attention, and hasn't moved.

Bubba makes a big show of arguing with the ref to either call the match or let Sin Cara be the legal man, and finally, the ref assents: Sin Cara takes over the match. And as you might expect in a 1-on-2 situation, he loses the match about 2 minutes later.

Your Winners: the Dudleys, via pinfall, in about 3 minutes of televised action after the ad break. I dunno what to say, other than everything was screwy and off-kilter enough that it sure as hell seems like Kalisto must have been hurt. They were definitely looking at his neck and head.... that said, the too-smart-for-his-own-good wanker in me can't help but notice that Kalisto got up after the dive, took a clothesline, and THEN sold the injury, which could lead one to speculate that this is a very subtle start to Sin Cara getting upset that Kalisto "abandoned" him to fight alone, on top of the whole US Title thing, and all that....

After the Match: the Dudleys have no time to celebrate, because Enzo and Cass come out onto the stage to have a little talk. But as soon as Enzo finishes the basic introductions, Bubba cuts him off. He and Devon take turns explaining, very deadly serious-like, that Enzo and Cass are surely feeling proud of themselves after debuting, but they are rookies just starting to dip their toes in an ocean that the Dudleys have been swimming for years, and they don't even understand half of what's in store for them if they don't start learning some respect and understanding where they are and how they got here.

Enzo: "How I got here? Uh, my mom and dad got it on. Yeah. How you doin'?"

Bubba does not appreciate the humor in the middle of his little speech, and so he doubles down by saying teams like the Dudleys built this road, and maybe it's time for the rookies to pay some tolls? Cass responds by saying, one way or the other, Enzo and Cass are coming through, so the construction workers can either step to the side, or they can put on their shiny vests and hard hats and get to work. Last week, they stepped aside, and ergo, Cass votes that that means there is only one word to describe the Dudleys, and it's spelled S-A-W-F-T.

The Dudleys once again don't want any of Enzo and Cass, and so we end the segment with just a staredown....

[ads]

Backstage: Kevin Owens has been successfully ushered out of the building.

USING TWO ENTIRE FACTIONS TO DISTRACT US FROM REIGNS

WWE Champ Roman Reigns heads to the ring, where the fan reaction is very much the same as it has been since the Rumble: it's Reigning Boos, baby! All this WWE party line about Home Crowds and Away Crowds just doesn't seem to hold up under even the slightest scrutiny.

Reigns opens with his new line that "Hey, that's alright LA. Because I'm not really a bad guy, maybe I'm not a good guy, but I am THE guy." And he gets booed even louder for it, because even though it's a good line to guide him through a tweener role where he wins over some fans by being a cocky badass, the way he does it here, it mostly just underscores the notion that HEY LOOK! We taught Roman to successfully say ONE LINE! So here, he'll say it again right at the very start!!!

Reigns then talks us through the plan for Payback, and how he might have to face AJ Styles, or he might have to face AJ Styles AND Sami Zayn.... he claims to have a lot of respect for both of them, but says all their accolades in other places don't mean much until they start winning titles HERE. And as far as Roman is concerned, there is a zero percent chance of that happening, and he will STILL be The Guy after Payback.

All of a sudden, the League of Nations' music hits. The last time Reigns got any cheers, it WAS against Sheamus, so let's see if this works.

Sheamus says that Reigns sure sounds confident,a nd why not? He's not facing any real challengers at Payback. He's getting lobbed softballs, and he's probably LOVING IT that he's not facing real men like the League of Nations, who were inexplicably left out of the #1 Contender Match last week. Rusev and Alberto del Rio each take a turn, too, and it basically comes down to: any ONE of the LoN is a bigger threat to Reigns' title than the whole lot of these other jabronis.

It's mostly boos for Sheamus, then Rusev gets some chuckles by bragging about being much more handsome than Reigns (an incongruous claim made even funnier by the accent), and ADR winds up getting pretty loud cheers when he finishes up the challenge.

Reigns doesn't necessarily agree, but he does tell them that if they want, then all three can come on down and get their asses kicked.

The LoN huddle, and then charge. But before it can come to blows, we get the Wyatt Freeze Frame, and the lights go out. When they come back up, the Wyatts are attacking the LoN, and the LoN are retreating....

But not so fast!!!! The LoN are only halfway up the ramp when Shane McMahon interrupts them with the announcement that he never thought he'd see Roman Reigns and the Wyatts on the same page, but he kinda likes it. So tonight, we're gonna see some more of it. The LoN can pick two guys, and they will face the team of Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt. YAY~!

[ads]

CHARLOTTE (w/ Ric Flair) vs. NATALYA (Women's Title Match)

For reasons even less fathomable than before, "Dr." Phil is here again, sitting in on guest commentary. WWE already has their own equally qualified therapist on payroll, why are we not just using "Dr." Shelby?

Full boxing-style ring intros by Lilian, and then we kick off by each women trying to top the other with mat- and chain-wrestling. Nattie wins the first one. Charlotte bails out to regroup. Nattie wins the second. Charlotte bails out to regroup. Nattie tries to keep things going, but Charlotte changes gears and just punches Nattie in the face.

When technique fails, go for the punchy-stompy. That's what Charlotte does, and she's firmly in control as we break for...

[ads]

Back, and Charlotte has taken things back to the mat, but for basic pound-and-ground attacks, not back and forth chain wrestling. Before long, Charlotte cinches in a Figure Four.... but she can't quite get all the way to the Figure Eight. Nattie is able to get a rope break.

Charlotte comes back by instantly locking in a Sharpshooter. Nattie's able to fight out of her family's own signature hold, and starts her fire up. She lands the discuss clothesline, and has the Sharpshooter set up, but she spends a beat too long playing to the crowd, so Charlotte is able to reach up and turn it into a small package.

Nattie kicks out, but Charlotte's back in control for another minute or two, until she gets greedy and attempts a moonsault... Nattie rolls out of the way, Charlotte eats canvas. Nattie instantly goes for the Sharpshooter again, and this time, it gets cinched in.

Ric starts reaching in, trying to help pull her to the ropes. But it's mid-ring, and he can't reach that far. So instead, Ric blantantly pulls the ref out of the ring... and as he does so, Charlotte starts tapping out, but it doesn't matter, because the ref is too busy disqualifying Flair.

Your Winner: Natalya, via disqualification, in 12 minutes. But Charlotte retains, via hijinx. Good match, crowd was way into it at the end, and this easily puts them on line for a rematch at the PPV. We even closed with a "Dr." Phil analysis about how he wished Charlotte had heeded his advice, but that in the big picture, the WWE Women's Division is on a great trajectory, with the women taking their rightful place in sports.

Which is a good and lovely sentiment, and all, but in what universe -- other than the universe of trailer parks populated by high school drop-outs -- are the opinions expressed by Dr. Phil given a whole lot of weight? Did I miss something? Wasn't he essentially debunked 15 years ago, and is now a novelty act? [Then again, in my mind, "Dr." Phil is basically a latter day Jerry Springer, and WWE just can't stay out of the Jerry Springer business. So maybe I answered my own question.]

Backstage: Renee Young is standing by with Sami Zayn, who has been given another chance to fight his way into a WWE Title shot, after getting written out last week. Zayn pretty much repeats his speech from last week, saying that no matter how much the deck seems stacked against him, this has been the story his whole career, and he's ready to keep on overcoming those odds.

Then, AJ Styles pps in, and the two share a moment of respect... but Styles closes by saying no matter how great it is for both of them to finally be here, Styles' best path to the WWE Title is if he's the ONLY #1 Contender at Payback. That means no quarter given to Zayn later tonight. Zayn wouldn't have it any other way.

THE USOS vs. THE SOCIAL OUTCASTS (Tag Title Tourney)

For the record, it's Heath Slater and Curtis Axel representing the Outcasts, with Bo Dallas and Adam Rose outside the ring as cheerleaders.

Also, for the record, it's adorable that you give a shit, because we're all adults here, so let's not pretend this is something it isn't.

Your Winners: the Usos, via pinfall, in about 4 minutes. The Usos let the Outcasts get way more offense than you might have expected, but it doesn't actually change the takeaway.

After the Match: the Usos celebration is cut short by two men in jeans and t-shirts running in to attack the Usos. Michael Cole accurately IDs them as Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson. Gallows had a run in WWE from 2009-2012 or so, and CM Punk personally drew attention to his firing, as Gallows was one of the most improved talents in WWE over that time, but was still squeezed out of a job. But together, the two have been dominant on the NJPW tag scene as part of the Bullet Club, originally formed around current NXT Champ Finn Balor, and most recently (up until January) including AJ Styles as its top singles star.

Without an affiliation to a bigger star, they'll have an uphill battle in the crowded tag scene, since that Bullet Club pedigree won't carry them too far outside of super-smartypants fans, and in terms of talent/presentation, they're pretty much what you see is what you get, and won't wow you from bell to bell.... by and large, they're NXT's The Revival, only moreso. But again, put into the context of a faction, and that's more than enough to get it done. We'll see....

Utterly destroying the Usos on your first night is a pretty solid start, either way.

[ads]

Backstage: a lengthy Miz segment that was mostly just an excuse to re-introduce Maryse, and how she's the worst. By which I mean: she's the BEST at being the worst, and Miz's equal at pressing all the wrong buttons. By which I mean: all the right buttons. You get the idea. First, Maryse destroys some sad sack PA. Then she does the same to Joey Jo Jo. Only when Cesaro shows up does she lay out, so that Miz and Cesaro can have a back and forth in which they confirm that they IC Title will be up for grabs between them at Payback.

SAMI ZAYN vs. AJ STYLES (#1 Contender Add-On Match)

Styles doesn't really lose anything if he loses, but it's very much do or die for Zayn. Great tit for tat to start: mat wrestling and feeling out, with neither man gaining a sustained advantage. Fans seem pretty evenly split; if there's a slight lean, it sounds like it's towards Zayn, likely because Styles already has his, and Zayn is thus the narrative underdog.

Then, just in case the fans didn't want to keep leaning that way, Styles gave Zayn a disrespectful shove, ins tead of a clean break, after a corner tie-up. From there, Styles was in control of the match with a more methodical style (strikes and so forth), leaving the flashier bits for Zayn's hope spots.

Speaking of which: Zayn low-bridges Styles, and takes him out with a big suicide dive. That's a nice big spot, and sends us to....

[ads]

Back, and Styles is back in control, and has clearly mastered the WWE Playbook, because he's working the Dreaded Post-Ad-Break Chinlock~! But only for a minute or so, then Zayn fights out, only to be snuffed out by a running forearm and the fireman's carry backbreaker.

Zayn kicks out of the backbreaker, but Styles senses he's in trouble, and calls for the Styles Clash. No go, though, as Zayn flips through into a flash pinning combo. Styles kicks out at the very last instant, drawing some pretty convinced-sounding oooohhhhs and ahhhhhhs. Zayn keeps it up, and hits a big Steamboat Style crossbody for another near fall. Run-up-the-ropes Tornado DDT for a very convincing Near Fall.

But Zayn's frustrated, and pauses before following up.... so when he finally does move in, he walks into a Pele Kick from Styles. Styles goes for the springboard forearm, but Zayn sidesteps. Styles lands on his feet, but Zayn snatches him from behind and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for the most convincing near fall so far.

Zayn sets up for a suplex, but Styles blocks and hooks the leg, turning it into the Calf Crusher. Zayn gets the rope break, but the damage is done. Styles decides he has time to get up to the top rope.... nope, Zayn joins him up there, and the two jockey for position. Zayn goes for a superplex, but ultimately, Styles turns it into a sunset flip powerbomb.

Or does he?!?! Zayn actually manages to flip all the way through (just barely; he was also about 2 inches from breaking his neck) to land on his feet. Seated dropkick to Styles. Zayn steps back to line up the Helluva Kick... but Styles gets the knees up to block. Zayn stumbles back, Styles steps outside, and nails the springboard forearm. One. Two. Fin.

Your Winner: AJ Styles, via pinfall, in 15 minutes. Really good match, and just a smart little implementation of Sustained Episodic TV. Zayn got chucked aside last week as an excuse to re-introduce Cesaro (which was a good and noble goal). They could have just forgotten that (and frequently, in the past, they've tended to just forget it), but here, they used it as an excuse to remember that Zayn's name should still be in the mix. Did he actually win and change the entire face of Payback? As it turns out, nope. But WWE still got 20 excellent minutes of free TV out of the deal.

[ads]

Backstage: AJ Styles is peptalking Sami Zayn, saying that this is the first of many big shots for Zayn, and he's got nothing to be ashamed of. And then, Shane McMahon pops in, all ultra-enthusiastic about how awesome their match was, and says many of the same things, which is a nice touch. Zayn's still emoting a sense of disappointment, but shen Styles gives him the Broad Gesturing of "Hey, Shane Freaking McMahon just kissed both our asses on National TV," even Zayn has to shrug and say that's pretty cool.

THE HIGHLIGHT REEL'S FAREWELL EPISODE?

All night, Jericho has been hyping a Very Special Highlight Reel, with a super special surprise guest. Jericho enters, and starts talking up his guest. The greatest WWE Superstar of all times, he's a multi-time World Champion, and a crossover media superstar. It's.... well of COURSE, it's Chris Jericho.

Jericho goes on to interview himself, allowing himself to brag about specifically the things you'd expect. Yep, it takes all of about 45 seconds before Jericho asks Jericho about beating the Rock and Steve Austin in the same night, and predictably, Jericho's thoughts about that night are voluminous.

But the hijinx don't last long, as Dean Ambrose's music hits, and he hits the ring with some posterboard and a potted plant, and starts checking out Jericho's set. I think we can all see where this is going.

And sure enough, as soon as Jericho gets all pissy and tells Ambrose to quit screwing with "my show," Ambrose tells him to wait up, because apparently Jericho missed a memo. Ambrose produces said memo, and it turns out that Shane McMahon has cancelled the Highlight Reel, and replaced it with the Ambrose Asylum.

As Jericho pitches a hissy fit, Ambrose places his posterboard logo over the JeriTron, and replaces Jericho's potted plant with his own. Also, he slides a tie on over his t-shirt.

Ambrose, amicably enough, invites Jericho to be his very first guest on the Asylum. Jericho responds quite saltily, and eventually gets all ramped up and angry as he belittles Ambrose as a crazy little freakboy who has no business in the same ring as the Best in the World. In fact, Ambrose had best get out of said ring. Or else.

Ambrose goes nowhere. And before we can find out "what else," Ambrose snaps off the Dirty Deeds, and thanks us all for tunng in to tonight's episode of the Ambrose Asylum.

Heh. Whether Ambrose retains a talk show segment much past this month remains to be seen.... but this absolutely confirms Ambrose/Jericho for Jericho's send-off match at Payback, which is not too shocking, since that was the original plan for Jericho at WM until injuries shook everything up. Good times.

[ads]

Earlier Today: if you're wondering how R-Truth and Goldust went from vague acquaintances to an official tag team, in time for this tournament, well.... apparently it had something to do with Dr. Phil, but Goldust is still lukewarm on the whole idea. I re-assert my point about Dr. Shelby, dammit!

APOLLO CREWS vs. ADAM ROSE (w/ Bo Dallas)

The other two Outcasts are MIA after their previous tag match, but I don't think it would have made any difference.

Your Winner: Apollo Crews, via pinfall, in 2 minutes flat. I can state, with authority, that this is a thing that happened.

[ads]

BRAY WYATT & ROMAN REIGNS vs. SHEAMUS & ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/ Rusev)

No Rowan or Strowman (at least, not to start), so if there is to be some kind of "set up" in which the Wyatts are still pissy towards Reigns (they feuded heavily last year), they're downplaying it. Instead, it's the LoN who have an extra man available.

Bray indicates he wants to start the match. Roman grudgingly allows it, and even joins in on some doubleteam action with Bray, when circumstances allow. The unexpected teamwork doesn't do much to improve the fan reaction to him: stuff Bray does gets cheered, same stuff gets Roman booed.

The same thing is happened, albeit to a lesser degree, to the LoN: Sheamus is pretty resoundingly booed, while ADR gets some cheers for his offense.

I hadn't realized it, but we are running WAY late, so I'm sitting here analyzing what I THINK is early feeling-out, but in actuality, I'm glossed over an entire "face in peril" mini-segment, as portrayed by Bray. That's right: about 60 seconds of domination by Bray/Roman working together, then 90 seconds of the LoN beating on Bray, and all of a sudden, Reigns tags in and starts getting booed like hell as he does his house o' fire routine.

Good, now we're caught up... Reigns is able to fight off both Sheamus and ADR, but the fight spills outside, and Rusev is able to join in behind the ref's back. After a cheap shot from Rusev, the ref restores order, and Sheamus hits the 10 of Clubs, and Reigns is now on the hook for his own little 2 minute Face in Peril bit.

This generates about zero sympathy or cheers, until Reigns snaps off a Samoan Drop on Sheamus, signaling that he's gonna tag Bray back into the match. Which he does, to massive cheers. ADR in on the corresponding move.

Bray's en feugo, but it very quickly breaks down into a Pier Five Brawl, with Reigns and Sheamus powdering out (and distracting the ref) on one side of the ring, while ADR gets help from Rusev on the other side. Alberto is able to land his low concussor kick as a result, but Bray kicks out.

All of a sudden, Wyatt Family Freeze Frame. Lights out. When they come back on, Rowan and Strowman are decimating Rusev. They don't lay a hand on anyone else, they just even the odds. But Alberto is distracted by the duo. Bray takes advantage by nailing the Sister Abigail. While Reigns keeps Sheamus at bay, the ref counts to three.

Your Winners: the unlikely duo of Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns, via pinfall, in 8 minutes. The flow of the match was ultra-rushed, so there wasn't much to it, in that sense. But from a perspective of "Who'da Thunk It?" it is still a satisfactorily perplexing little cliffhanger. With Reigns/Styles set, you don't have to burn through it too fast, but this gets us wondering exactly what's going on with Reigns and the Wyatts.

And in fact, that's the final visual: we see Reigns looking confused, as Bray smiles and seems happy with things, as we fade to black.

And so ends the show... it wasn't nearly the spectacle that last week's show was, but this is was three hours that I would hold up as a perfect shininig example of what I mean by "Sustainable Episodic TV."

It moved stories forward, without any kind of one-off trickery or stunt casing. It suggested reasons to watch next week, while being extremely entertaining in and of its own right. It was a show I enjoyed watched, and will enjoy watching again.

I remain baffled why WWE can't do this on a regular basis, instead choosing to run hot and cold, but hey, it's not my company.

The Zayn/Styles issue is the perfect microcosm for the night. It picked up on something from last week that could have been ignored, but instead, used it to create a little story arc.... not an earth-shattering one, but not an insignificant one, either: Styles title shot is not at risk, but Zayn gets once last chance to get in, since he was robbed of that chance last week. You can play that for some tension for the opening 2 hours of the show, and then, as an added bonus, the two absolutely deliver the goods for a 20 minute match. Perfect.

That was the whole show tonight: building out these simple but compelling little story arcs, and then hanging some quality wrestling from them to eat up the time. Owens/Cesaro, Charlotte/Nattie, and Styles/Zayn were all really good or better. There was only one other heavily hyped match (the main event), and while it fell short due to time constraints, it still had that vibe of significance, since you weren't expected tos ee Reigns and Bray hanging out.

There was no real wrestling to speak of among the tag teams, but the mere introduction of the tag tourney and the debut of Gallows/Anderson just meant the story side of things was a bit more sturdy, there. Along similar lines, I thought both the lengthy backstage Miz/Maryse segment and the Ambrose/Jericho in-ring segment were pretty damned entertaining, and should serve them well for matches at Payback.

By definition, "Sustainable Episodic TV" isn't a completely flawless blow-away night of entertainment, but it is the type of show that I will gladly take on a week-in, week-out basis. That's worth a final grade of B-plus around here.

Let's try to do it again in 7, WWE! In the meantime, we'll see how SD stacks up, courtesy of Pyro's recap, before we reassemble for next week's RAW. Later on, kids....

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.