OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
A Glimmer of Hope on a Craptacular Night
February 29, 2016

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

Happy Leap Day, everyone! Sure, some of you might think that's nothing, and that today's is just the day between Oscar Sunday and Super Tuesday, but if you stop to think about it, it's freaking amazing that we, as a species, have such a great knowledge of our place in the solar system that we managed to work out a calendar, and then fine tuned it to the point where we know that we need to add a day every four years.
And then, also, NOT add that day every 100 years (except for every 400 years, when we have to add it back in, which is why 2000 was a super-duper leap non-leap leap year, afterall!). And we perfected all this complicated stuff FIVE HUNDRED YEARS AGO, which is remarkable. Why do I mention how remarkable it is how smart people were 500 years ago? So I can then follow up by pointing out how incredibly STOOPID some people insist on being today: tomorrow, when 12 US states hold primaries, about half of adults in those states (primarily in the south, but who's keeping track?) are global warming deniers. Yes, according to a 2015 climate change study, 48% of adults in the states voting tomorrow on Super Tuesday are disbelievers in science. At least I won't have to pretend to be surprised if Trump sweeps to victory. Cuz that's not 48% of people who hold dubious or dated opinion. That's 48% of people who are WRONG ABOUT A FACT. And that makes me sick. You know what else periodicially makes me sick? WWE. Let's see if tonight is a good night, like last Monday was... or if it's one of those weeks that convinces me that 48% of the people making decisions in Stamford are completely unqualified to be doing so. Here's what happened on tonight's just completed RAW: Opening Video Package for the Benefit of Those with ADD: OO does not recap recaps. LENGTHY MCMAHON PROMO THAT ISN'T SHANE, BUT OK, WE'LL LET IT SLIDE And when we cut live to the inside of the Nashville Arena, we see WWE Champion Triple H is already on his way to the ring. After he got massively cheered last week for beating the hell out of Roman Reigns, Trips plays it safe, and leaves Reigns' name out of it for several minutes, instead going for cheap heat as he reminds everybody that he's rich, he's powerful, and he's the champion, and he deals with haters all the time. For HHH, "authority" isn't just a cute nickname, it's his entire existence, and the fact that whatever he decides goes infuriates all us little humanoids. Get it? winkwinknudgenudge WWE wants Roman Reigans in the main event of WrestleMania, and you stupid marks can't do anything about it /winkwinknudgenudge Now that he's used every trick he knows to get under the fans' skins, Hunter does start to specifically talk about Reigns, and how Reigns has zero chance of winning the title at WM32. At one point, HHH even pauses where a "ROH MAN, ROH MAN" chant MIGHT have fit, but it never materializes. So HHH moves back to more general threats, and says that the lesson here is that NOBODY challenges authority and gets away with it. Roman got that lesson beat into him last week, and this week, HHH says he trusts it's a lesson understood by every single person in the back. As if on cue (because it was an obvious cue), Dean Ambrose's music plays, and he hits the ring to big cheers. He and HHH run through some ham-handed and utterly unnecessary quips and puns about the Oscars, before Ambrose gets focused... you see, a lot of stuff happened last week, it was a busy night, started with zero WrestleMania matches, ended with three, and all that... but in all the chaos, Ambrose had this theory that he never quite got to throw out there. So he'd like to throw it out there tonight... Specifically, Ambrose says that HHH breathed a huge sigh of relief when Ambrose lost the #1 Contender match at Fastlane. Ambrose says that for all HHH's boasting and confidence, HHH is scared to death of ever having to fight Ambrose. Guys like HHH can't figure out guys like Ambrose, and so they just slap labels like "lunatic" or "crazy" on them, to try and dismiss them. But guess what? Dean's not gonna be dismissed, because he knows that you fear what you don't understand, and HHH sure as hell has no clue what to make of Dean Ambrose. HHH responds with a few laughs and a riff about how that #1 Contender Match was a Triple Threat in name only. Hunter never once bothered scouting or considering Dean Ambrose as a possible #1 Contender; that match was all about Brock Lesnar or Roman Reigans. Ambrose is just one of the little people, not even on HHH's radar, really. Ambrose dares him to put up or shut up. If Ambrose isn't a threat, why not have a match? Crowd erupts with YES! chants. Ambrose tells them to settle down, because there's more. Ambrose wants a match, and he wants it to be for the WWE Title. Now those YES! chants are doubled in volume. HHH looks around the arena, and invokes his "best for business" catchphrase... he's intrigued by Ambrose's challenge, and he'll take it under advisement. Ambrose will get an answer by the "end of the night." Hilariously, in this moment of High Drama, Ambrose just conversationally asks, "So, ummm, by midnight? Or you just gonna shoot me a text before you turn in for the night?" And HHH appears to be half super-pissed and half holding-back-laughs as he sputters out, "No, by 11 o'clock, when RAW ends." Dean Ambrose, single-handedly Deadpooling the Fourth Wall! HHH tags the segment by saying he originally planned to give Ambrose the night off, since he's still recovering from that beatdown at the hands of Brock Lesnar... but now, as a result of his insolance, Ambrose will have to wrestle tonight against Alberto del Rio. And for whatever it's worth, HHH thinks ADR should bring the entire League of Nations with him. HHH exits to his music, while Ambrose seems unfazed by the risk to his health and well-being. Interesting opening segment, since they had clearly been intending to keep HHH out of the ring until WM (the entire build-up to Fastlane was "#1 Contender Match to determine who faces TRIPLE H, with nary a sliver of hope that anybody else would be champion), and now, they are dangling a really desireable HHH/Ambrose title match.... and once they dangle, they can't pull it back, unless they just want to piss us all off even more. Curiouser and curiouser... [ads] BECKY LYNCH vs. SASHA BANKES (#1 Contender Match) Speaking of #1 Contender matches, here's another one. Women's Champ Charlotte has a ringside seat (as does her dad)... not on commentary or anything, just seated near the Timekeeper Cubicle. Out of the gate, it's nice, snappy back and forth action. Good pace, but nobody can gain the decisive upperhand. Things eventually break in Becky's favor, and the match heads outside after she hits a baseball slide. Becky with another few shots, but then, when she rolls Sasha back into the ring, they do the cat-and-mouse role reversal spot, and just like that, Sasha is in command. She chucks Becky back out of the ring, and with that break in the action, we break for.... [ads] Back, and we rejoin the action mid-fire-up by Becky. Builds up to an exploder suplex for a near fall, and from there, we're off to the races with End Game Action. Sasha hits her High Thesz Press (knees at shoulder height) for a near fall of her own. More back and forth, and Becky hits a missile dropkick for two. Becky goes for the Disarmer, but Sasha flips it into a pinning combo for another two count. Back and forth again, and this time, it's Sasha who goes up to the top rope. Becky catches her, and the two start jockeying for position. Becky lands about 10 debilitating headbutts, and in a last ditch effort, Sasha goes for a sunset flip powerbomb. Both women land hard, Becky taking the brunt of the powerbomb, but Sasha getting a little extra jolt on top of those headbutts. And wouldn't you know it, they land in an entertwined fashion so that all four shoulders are down, and they are pinning each other. Your Winner: None, via double pin, in about 10 minutes. Decent little match. A bit disjointed in a few spots, but credit where it's due: NXT just did that a double pin spot in a Zayn/Joe #1 Contender Match, and Becky and Sasha came up with a more convincing way to do it. For whatever it's worth, the crowd just started chanting "TRIP UHL THREAT," which truly would be the best way to go. But apparently, WWE's writers are a few steps behind the viewers, because Charlotte just sold it like "Haha, now there is no #1 Contender. Night off at WrestleMania!" Uh huh, sure. Freeze Frame: after the interruption of the Wyatt Freeze Frame, we join the entire family in their Lair. Bray uncorks the old adage that "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result." But you see, Bray IS insane, and so therefore, once again, Bray is going to make a promise to save the world. He's got a plan, you see, and he knows what he must do. He invites us all to join him in eternal paradise. Or else otherwise, prepare to be conquered. RUN~! So, ummmmmmm, it's just another case of WWE trying to "reboot" Bray with big talk, preceding an attack on a major babyface. But this time, Bray is self aware enough to admit he knows this is just Same Shit Different Day? That's.... weird. [ads] DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. MIZ On the RAW Preshow, these two had a verbal confrontation that resulting in Dolph savaging Miz pretty badly. Basically, Dolph says Miz did one big thing, and he did it 5 years ago, and he hasn't done anything since. So maybe it's time to stop telling everybody he's a WWE Champion and a WrestleMania main eventer.... because in Dolph's mind, Miz doesn't even deserve to be on the roster at this point. Ouch. Bell rings, and Ziggler is pretty confident and immediately gains control. But maybe he's over-confident. Less than 90 seconds into the match, he tries to finish things off with a superkick, but Miz blocks it, and shoots Dolph into the turnbuckle, where Ziggler takes that stiff sternum-first bump. Miz catches him falling backwards into a roll-up, and that's that. Huh. Your Winner: Miz, via pinfall, in 2 minutes flat. Not what I was expecting... for a few months, Dolph's hair and trunks have been getting darker, and it's like you're waiting for him to unlock an unpleasant part of himself to go on a tear. But all of a sudden, it's the Miz who's re-awakened? Let's see if this is anything, or just some random one week throwaway... [ads] REALLY LENGTHY MCMAHON PROMO THAT ISN'T SHANE, PART 2, AND THIS TIME, WE'RE NOT TAKING IT!!! Stephanie McMahon hits the ring to accept the Vincent J. McMahon Award for Outstanding Acheivement in the Field of Excellence that she didn't get to accept last week. She is greeted by "SHANE O MAC" and "WE WANT SHANE" chants, and makes the mistake of saying Shane will not be here tonight. It's meant to be bitchy taunting, but in reality, it took the wind out of the room, because what she actually did was reveal that nothing interesting was gonna happen in this segment. D'oh. And so it comes to pass that Stephanie launches into this hand-crafted speech that she clearly rehearsed about how she and HHH have poured their hearts into this company, and Shane took an 8 year vacation, and yadda yadda yadda, the fans better not get their hopes up for any sort of changing of the guard, because after WM, we'll all still be bowing down to the King AND Queen of WWE. Whee. Now, for the full effect, set a timer for 12 minutes, and keep reading and re-reading the previous paragraph until the timer hits zero. Because that's what Steph did. Over-written, fakey ranting that really adds nothing to the story beyond what we already knew. Needless to say, the crowd slaughtered her with WHAT?ing and a general sense of being bored and distracted. Vince is usually the biggest offender, but on this night, Steph absolutely crushed the old "Two Minutes of Material in a 15 Minute Bag" game. [ads] THE LUCHA DRAGONS vs. SHEAMUS & RUSEV (w/ Alberto del Rio and King Barrett) Earlier in the day, there was talk of a major angle involving Rusev issuing a Bodyslam Challenge. But apparently, that got scrapped. Instead, we get this abbreviated paint-by-numbers affair. Fast start for the Dragons. Heel beatdown, with Sin Cara as Ricky Morton. Big flashy showcase for US Champ Kalisto. LoN interferes for a Pier Six Brawl. In the chaos, Kalisto eats a thrust kick from Rusev after a distraction from ADR. Your Winners: the League of Nations, via pinfall, in about 5 minutes. Throwaway TV Special. Not really bad, or anything, but no reason to care going in, and too short for fans to develop a reason to care. It's just here to remind us that the LoN are a mighty unit, heading into that ADR vs. Ambrose match where HHH already basically said it's OK if the LoN want to make it 4-on-1. [ads] RYBACK vs. ADAM ROSE (w/ the Social Outcasts) We're all adults here, so let's not pretend this is something it isn't. Your Winner: Ryback, via pinfall, in 90 seconds. The story here is that Ryback is now ultra-intense, and he was nearly DQ'd twice when he refused to stop raining down blows on Rose. What's less clear is if this is gonna make him a real heel, or if it's the sort of badassery fans will cheer for. [ads] THE NEW DAY (w/ Eggsavier Woods) vs. CHRIS JERICHO & AJ STYLES (Non-Title Match) Team "Y2AJ" were on the winning side of a 6-man match, over the New Day, on Thursday's SD. Now, a standard tag match to see if they might be worthy of title consideration. New Day deliver an as-amusing-as-always mini-promo before the match, talking about how they are a REAL team, and real friends, not like Jericho and Styles, who can't stand each other, but are just trying to use each other. But then, just when you think they are going Hard Heel, they also make the same kind of jokes about the League of Nations being a "loose collection." Which combines with "League of Booty," and all of a sudden, the LoN are just Loose Booty. Heh. But back to the match at hand. As the bell rings, there is some (Broad) gesturing, to make sure we are all aware of Chris Jericho's black eye, which is legit, and which he suffered when he sacrificed himself in aforementioned 6-man, saving AJ and allowing Styles to get the win. Everything is time compressed tonight (there are TONS of highlight packages and recaps, which I am leaving out; to say nothing of Steph's overlong promo of zero value), so we get a standard flashy babyface start, leading up to stereo planchas by Jericho and Styles, which gives us the ever-obvious break for.... [ads] Back, and the New Day are Stampeding on Styles. We learn that illegal interference from Woods turned the tide during the ad break, and the New Day have been in charge ever since. Beatdown continulates for 2-3 more minutes, then AJ counters a move by Big E with the Pele Kick. Separation thus created, he gets the tag to Jericho. Kofi in on the corresponding move. House o' fire sequence, with Jericho not just dominating Kofi, but also easily swatting Woods away from time to time. Eventually, the Lionsault hits, and Big E has to dive in to break it up. That's enough to slow Jericho down, but it also brings Styles back into the fight. Styles and Big E powder out when Styles hits a huge springboard forearm. That leaves the two legal men alone in the ring, and while Kofi does initially set up for the Trouble in Paradise, Jericho blocks it by picking the ankle and floating over into the Walls of Jericho. Your Winners: Chris Jericho and AJ Styles, via submission, in about 10 minutes. Decent, but again time compression with an ad break forcing the lay-out/formatting of the match.... just not gonna hold up as much more than a storyline segment in which Jericho/Styles are now clearly contenders for the tag titles. Which it DID accomplish, admittedly. And if there was any doubt, Styles grabbed a mic and said as much. Then he handed the mic to Jericho, who spruced it up a bit, and said Team Y2AJ is now officially A Thing, and they are ready for a title shot. So how about next week on RAW? We'll have to wait to find out..... [ads] ARE YOU SHITTING ME? YOU TOLD US THIS WAS THE UNDERTAKER, AND INSTEAD IT'S A THIRD LENGTHY MCMAHON PROMO THAT ISN'T SHANE? WE GIVE UP. This was hyped as the Undertaker's segment before the ad break. But instead, Lilian Garcia introduces Vince. Oh christ.... STEPHANIE ALREADY STOLE YOUR GIMMICK, VINCE, WE DON'T NEED YOU TO REPEAT THE MISTAKE!!! In fact, Vince seems kind of upset by the lack of reaction he gets, and tries to get a louder one by reminding them that he's Vince McMahon, dammit, don't they realize they are in the presence of greatness. Crickets. It doesn't get much better as Vince just milks the he-goat for about 5 minutes. Tough love this, no chance in hell that, and it'll take a miracle for Shane to walk out of WM, much less take over control of the company. And only fools believe in miracles. And now, with no real segue, Vince says "Here's the reason it'll take a miracle. Please welcome the instrument of Shane's destruction, the Undertaker." And the Undertaker comes out, full pyro and light show, steps into the ring, grabs Vince by the throat, and says, "You know me. You know what I do. You know what's going to happen. So the blood of your son is on YOUR hands, not mine." And then Taker just leaves. Are you fricking kidding me? No explanation for why Taker would ever, in a billion years, do Vince's dirty work? No motivation whatsoever? And yet, without any motivation, the Undertaker is both annoyed at having to do this, but unable to deliver any other outcome other than the complete and total slaughtering of Shane? If WWE refuses to deliver any real motivation, then Taker's story should be easy, "Jesus, Vince, alright, I'll do your match. I figure I can make your kid tap out in about 45 seconds, but if you're looking for somebody who'll hospitalize him, you got the wrong guy." So dumb. To say nothing of hyping "The Undertaker appears tonight on RAW to give his side of the story" for a WHOLE WEEK, and then he speaks about 15 words. Wholly unsatisfying words. For reasons I cannot fathom, the segment continues even after Taker leaves, so Vince can talk EVEN MORE. Vince just wants to tell us exactly what to expect the night after WrestleMania. Because it won't be Shane McMahon taking over the company. It will be Vince McMahon, still in charge, and disowning his son. After WrestleMania, Shane will no longer be Vince's son. He will merely be a Son of a Bitch. Oy. A week worth of hyping the Undertaker, and it turns out to be nothing but an excuse to send Vince out there for a shitty 10 minute segment that accomplishes NOTHING, except for the fact that Vince got to say his punchline, which can now be added to all video packages for WM32. Way to be, Writer Monkeys, way to be. Terrible. [ads] JEY USO (w/ Jimmy) vs. BUBBA DUDLEY (w/ Devon) Time compressiona gain. Straight into the "mid-match" heel beatdown. Jey's fire up at the 2 minute mark. Devon creates a distraction by getting a table (even though the Duds heelishly swear they will never use tables again), and Bubba's able to hit the BubbaBomb. Your Winner: Bubba Dudley, via pinfall, in about 3 minutes. I can state, with authority, that this is a thing that happened. Backstage: Goldust once again tries to recruit R-Truth as his tag team partner. But this time, no comedy, just a sincere and serious plea, which Truth completely shoots down. [ads] BIG SHOW vs. KEVIN OWENS Nothing to see here. Owens beat Show, by count-out, in a throwaway match on Thursday. So they just do the exact opposite match here. Owens actually dominates early, then Owens is the one who stupidly goes to the top rope, and Show is the one who purposely crotches him on the top rope, and shoves him to the floor, where Owens gets counted out. Your Winner: Big Show, via count-out, in 4 minutes. Big Show yuks it up, but I believe the humor is lost on 90% of the audience. In order for us to care about this finish, we first would have had to care about a lame throwaway match you did on SmackDown. But we didn't. We just endured it, as we wait to find out whatever the hell all this talk of #KOMania is about. Backstage: Renee Young catches up with Brie Bella, who has a match coming up next. Renee asks for an update on Brie's family, and she says Bryan is really starting to settle into the idea of being retired, and Nikki is doing way better than expected after neck surgery, so..... and then Lana walks up, and taunts Brie about being a skinny little vegan, not a woman of sexiness, and that's why she's married to a tiny little goat man. Brie taunts back about Rusev's bear-like appearance, and the fact that unless Lana ever gets into the ring, she has no right to talk about what it is to be a real, strong woman. Zing? [ads] BRIE BELLA vs. NAOMI (w/ Tamina) Pretty much what you'd expect on a night when WWE is clearly not gonna bother trying at all, with regards to the in-ring product. Basic formula, Naomi beatdown, Brie comeback, Tamina interference. Fin. Your Winner: Naomi, via submission, in about 3 minutes. And then, after the match, Lana's music plays, and she comes out on the stage to give Brie a sarcastic Slow Clap. Thrilling. Hall of Fame: the Fabulous Freebirds are the latest members of the Class of 2016. Yep, even Jimmy Jam Garvin, the latter day WCW addition to the team. But I think we all know we're really talking about the original trio, and mostly, Michael Hayes. [ads] Backstage: Becky and Sasha are still arguing about the lack of outcome to their match, when Charlotte (w/ Ric) walks up to tell them that she (Charlotte) had so much fun watching them beat each other up, she can't wait to see them do it again. Thursday on SmackDown, it's Becky vs. Sasha II, and the winner gets a title shot at WrestleMania. But, Charlotte says, it doesn't really matter how many times they fight, the winner is still Charlotte. Cuz one of them will be nothing but a footnote to history, and the other will win the grand prize of becoming an answer to the trivia question "Who did Charlotte beat at WM32?" Nice bitchy performance and tag line by Charlotte, I gotta say. DEAN AMBROSE vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/ the League of Nations) As threatened, the entire LoN is here. And in keeping with the theme of the night, it's 10:58pm (eastern) when the bell rings, which leaves us with all of 10 minutes or so to do a match AND whatever big angle they want to do with HHH and Ambrose, regarding their title match. Luckily, when they just insta-force the heel beatdown, there's actually a compelling narrative reason for it: Ambrose has his shoulder taped up, selling last week's Lesnar Attack, and is doing all his classic one-armed-man shtick. Seriously, Ambrose's "taped up shoulder" is reaching Bob Orton "broken arm" status, except for the part where it's not a weapon. But it is a tool. A tool for creating a time warp where three minutes of ADR arm attacks actually make you feel like the match is on the brink of being over. It also helps that ADR's finisher is the cross armbreaker. Actually, the most convincing almost-finish has nothing to do with the arm.... instead, ADR hit his tree of woe double stomp outside the ring (using the barricade, instead of the corner). Alberto slid into the ring, primping and preening like he just won 10 Super Bowls... but instead, Ambrose took the full 9 count to regain his wits, break the count, and begin a mighty fire up. Crowd's right there with Ambrose as he starts hitting big moves, leading up to a suicide dive. The entire LoN swarms to check on ADR, and Ambrose slides into the relative safety of the ring, surveying his handiwork. But before he can get too proud of himself, Motorhead hits, and Triple H comes out onto the stage. He just stands there and has a staredown with Ambrose for about 30 seconds... which is just long enough for the League of Nations to have fully recovered and hopped onto the apron behind Ambrose. HHH gives a high sign, and they attack. Your Winner: Dean Ambrose, via disqualification, in 6 minutes or so. Not a wrestling match you're ever going to rewatch, or even think about, again. But as a storyline device, a very effective segment. After the Match: For a brief moment, Ambrose fights the good fight. But it is 1-on-4, and Ambrose still isn't 100% due to Lesnar. This is going to end poorly for him. In deference to the fact that he, technically, lost the match, the LoN allow ADR to get the final big shot in Ambrose before handing Ambrose over to HHH. HHH dismisses the LoN, and grabs a mic. He picks up where he left off, talking about how you don't fight authority unless you WANT to lose everything. Why can't Dean Ambro....... THUD! Ambrose reaches up and punches HHH right in his stupid face! Two more desperation punches land, and then HHH unleashes a torrent of punches and stomps that finally builds up to a Pedigree. Ambrose is once again a lifeless carcass. HHH soaks in the boos. I mean, there was about a 7 second "ONE MORE TIME" chant from a minor percentage of the audience, but otherwise, this was a crowd that was easily 90% Ambrose and 10% HHH... if anyone had any doubts that Reigns is the reason why HHH got cheered last week, well, this should shoot that theory out of the water. HHH isn't a babyface, he's just the less objectionable option compared to Reigns, at this point. After soaking in said boos for a bit, HHH nudged Ambrose with his foot, sort of a "Hey, dipshit, you listening?" kind of move. And that's when HHH declares that if Ambrose wants a Championship Match, he's got it. And he's gonna regret it. HHH drops the mic, and walks out... But he keeps glancing back over his shoulder, because dammit, the lunatic Ambrose is NOT staying down. He's almost up on hands and knees, as he reaches for that mic... and he gets it, and is able to get out "Hey, Hunter, man.... thanks!" in the exact perfect tone of voice that it sends HHH into a rage. HOW DARE AMBROSE SOUND ALMOST CHEERFUL AND NOT BE SHIVERING IN HIS BOOTS! So HHH removes his suit coat, slowly rolls up his sleeves as he stalks to the ring, and then beats the piss out of Ambrose (who hadn't even managed to get back to his feet by the time HHH got tot he ring). HHH takes the fight over to the announce desk, where he makes an extra effort to assault Byron Saxton. Hey, that's what you get for being caught on camera giving Roman Reigns a blood packet, Byron! But mostly, he keeps on beating on Ambrose, until refs and trainers show up, en masse, to pull him away. There is no blood this week, but it is -- to a significant degree -- the same basic imagery and vibe as what happened last Monday between HHH and Reigns. Except, this time, everybody is booing. Ahem. Ambrose is completely knocked out, as HHH contentedly storms up the ramp, and we fade to black.... And so ends the show... definitely a strong note to end on, but it was the end of a show that was otherwise remarkably crappy. In addition to the crap that I did mention, this was a week with WAAAYYYYY more fast-forward-inducing filler, in the form of video packages and recaps. It's almost as though -- with only 5 weeks to go until WrestleMania , when time should be at a premium, with only the strongest, main stage-worthy content making the cut -- WWE is instead thinking, "Crap, we still have 5 whole weeks to go until WrestleMania, and we're already out of ideas." Amplifying that sense, it's worth pointing out that the "strong note" that ended the show HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WRESTLEMANIA. Or at least, it doesn't seem to. Triple H vs. Dean Ambrose is entertaining, and it's fresh, and it's what we fans want to see. But unless it ACTUALLY causes a change to WM32, then this is all just a pointless distraction from the main problem, which is that very few fans seem to be on board with Roman Reigns. It's almost a lose-lose scenario for WWE.... either they are creatively bankrupt, and HHH/Ambrose is a throwaway to burn some time because they don't have any ideas for how to tell the HHH vs. Reigns story. OR, this little detour actually DOES result in WWE changing the main event of WrestleMania for the third time in a row, because of how badly they miscalculated. And are they really willing to swallow their pride (and empower us annoying marks?) to change things to an Ambrose vs. HHH vs. Reigns vs. Lesnar Fatal Fourway for the WWE Title at Mania? I certainly hope so. But WWE's kicked us all in the balls enough times that it's hard to take the HHH/Ambrose title match -- which is almost surely taking place at the March 12 WWE Network Special Event in Toronto -- seriously. But hey, $9.99 for the WWE Network is still a great deal, so I'll show up on that night to see if they want to prove me wrong. Prove me wrong, WWE. Prove me wrong. So I did enjoy how we got to HHH/Ambrose, but I'm still not sold that it isn't just another random Monday afternoon spazz-out. The tag title and women's title segments were also entirely tolerable, with just enough to sink your teeth into, but not much beyond that minimum, in deference to the 5 weeks till Mania. And that's way more than you can about the rest of the show. Just nothing of value anywhere in sight. Super short matches that accomplished nothing other than reminding you that certain people continue to exist. And in the case of the Wyatts, they didn't even get a match to supply their content-free tripe; they had to condense it down into a 60 second promo in which even Bray flat out said, "If you think I've done this exact promo before, you're right. Deal." Then you also had the two McMahon promos, in which Steph and Vince both provided NEGATIVE value, making those zero value segments seem ingenious by comparison. Seriously, Shane McMahon returning, promising he can fix WWE, and willing to do a HiaC Spot Fest against Taker to do it, should be a slam dunk, and somehow, tonight's RAW actually reduced our interest in it, thanks to those two ridiculously bad and ill conceived segments. This might be one of those rare F-worthy shows, if not for the outside chance that somebody actually thought this HHH/Ambrose thing out, and didn't just pull it out of his ass on Monday afternoon. In deference to HHH/Ambrose's potential, and out of respect to Becky/Sasha/Charlotte and Jericho/Styles/New Day's erstwhile efforts, I'll be generous and call this a gentleman's D. See you in seven, kids!

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RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.