OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Bye Bye Bryan
February 8, 2016

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

And so it has come to pass.... Daniel Bryan is officially retired from active in-ring competition.

The news broke, on Bryan's own twitter account, earlier this afternoon, in order to snuff out 12 hours of fantastical rumors about Bryan returning to action (a fan had spotted and photographed him catching a flight from Phoenix to Seattle on Sunday night).... but realistically, I think most of us had already made our peace with Bryan's diminished status at some point in the past two years.

When a guy is only active for about 2 months out of 22, due to neck and concussion issues, it's hard to envision a scenario where he returns, fully healthy and durable.... still, if you're at all like OO, you were hoping for another scenario in which Bryan could at least exit the ring on his own terms.

Instead, his official retirement comes less than 2 years after he was forced to vacate the WWE World Title due to injury, and less than 1 year after he was forced to vacate the IC Title just a couple months into his comeback.

Some speculation and rumors persist that Bryan could have matches outside of WWE, but his comments on tonight's RAW seemed to indicate a 180 degree pivot from his oft-stated belief that he was capable of competing safely, and only WWE's doctors were preventing it.... instead, he spoke of a major development in the past couple weeks that changed his mind and led him to retire completely.

It was widely reported that Bryan and WWE sought to get closure on the issue of his ring-worthiness in the week prior to the Royal Rumble, with Bryan fully expecting things to break in favor of his personal doctors' prognosis. But when Bryan did not appear by the Monday after the Rumble, I know the rumblings began that he did not get the news he'd hoped.

Tonight, two short weeks of rumblings turned into what somehow still managed to feel like a total sideswipe.... two years of pondering Bryan's serious injuries somehow faded into memory, and we had to say an insanely sudden and unexpected goodbye to the man a lot of us were still (some secretly, some not so much) were expecting to "save" WrestleMania again.

Bryan's farewell speech was an excellent one, with laughs and poignancy, and most of all: an overwhelming dose of genuineness. Bryan's one of the most gifted pro wrestlers any of us has ever seen, but it's no exagerration to say he's an even better human being. To me, that's what made his farewell a lot more emotional than I thought -- with my Spock-like logic -- it should have been.

Here, you've got Bryan, who put in 4 pretty excellent years on the WWE stage (and more before that on the indies, but you know OO: we don't ENJOY the indies as much as we SCOUT them), and then was not really a factor at all for the past 2 years..... contrast that with Edge -- easily one of OO's favorite ever! -- who put in 12 years on the WWE roster and who blindsided us all by retiring less than 2 weeks after winning the World Title at WrestleMania, with zero warning.

I honestly spent the entire day on Monday trying to work up the grumpiness to tell the internet to calm the hell down, because Edge's retirement was a way bigger thing.

Screw that. For one, Edge didn't spend 25 full minutes on his retirement speech. He seemed as surprised and blindsided as the rest of us, and just kept it down to about 5 minutes. For two, I don't think we fans (even those of us who were Edge's biggest fans) ever felt like he NEEDED us to make it as big as he did. He appreciated us, for sure, but he would have gotten there, regardless. The connection between us and Bryan was an entirely different thing.

The guy who got fired for comically choking an announcer with a tie (a G-rated act that was somehow forbidden on PG-rated TV) might never have been hired back, if not for our outrage. The guy who got pinned in 17 seconds at WrestleMania could have been passed over for our next Flavor of the Month, but we decided to let WWE know that their little attempt at comedy was misplaced, and doubled down until Bryan won MitB. The guy who reigned as WWE Champ for about 2 mintues after cashing in MitB was meant to be a secondary player, as WWE bet the bank on Returning Movie Star Batista for WM30.... and that, my friends, is when we changed the world.

On a recent WWE Network show, JBL dismissively talked about how some of the dumb marks just get upset when their favorites lose a match, and should be ignored, because any fan who threatens to quit watching if their favorite football team ever goes less than 16-0 is a fool. But JBL's intellectual dishonesty is just an attempt to mask the fact that WWE screwed up.... this wasn't some over-arching story they thought up, and all the fans just fell for it. This was WWE making a horrible mistake, the fans telling them about it, and WWE changing its mind in self-defense.

For as much as the fans felt a kinship with Mick Foley, or Eddie Guerrero, or a handful of other guys who were clearly not WWE's first choice..... it never quite felt like we hooked up with a specific guy and just said "Hey, let's make this happen." And then, at WrestleMania 30, it did.

And I think we all remember how good that felt. For all our "logic" over the inevitability of Bryan's mortality, tonight really was the first time we all had to realize that we'll never feel that feeling again. That almost once-in-a-lifetime feeling of knowing we got together to force a multi-million-dollar company to do OUR will, something they never ever intended to do on their own, and that it felt even better because the guy we hooked up with was just about the best human being in the world.

It's wrestling, so yeah, we'll feel THAT GOOD again. But we won't feel that EXACT SAME good thing again. And that's why tonight wound up being a bigger deal than I was entirely ready for.

From the bottom of my own heart, and with all of OO Nation in my corner, I hereby declare: THANK YOU BRY YAN~!

With all that said, here's the rest of the stuff that happened tonight. By necessity, it'll probably be a bit shorter and more succinct, than usual, but I'm assuming you'll forgive me for putting my effort into the preRamble:

Opening Theme/Pyro/Etc, and we're live in Seattle, WA, which is proximate to Daniel Bryan's hometown of Aberdeen, WA, if you're talking about "proximity" in the sense of "proximity once you're west of the Mississippi River." In reality, they are 100 miles apart, so it's basically the same as saying Cincinnati and Indianapolis are the same city. Bzzt.

But for all intents and purposes, Kurt Cobain was associated with Seattle (despite being from Aberdeen), so it's not like Bryan's in bad company if we just sort of paint him with that brush.

Cole & The Gang provide a quick welcome to the show, focusing on Bryan's upcoming "Address," but also mentioning that we'll get an Usos/New Day Tables Match, Chris Jericho on MizTV, and much more. But for now, Stephanie McMahon is already standing in the ring, so let's see what she's got in store for us....

CONTRACT SIGNING THEATRE

Alongside Steph, there is a fancy table.... like, all marbled and not just particle board. Also, a leather folder. Steph says she's here to preside over a contract signing for Fastlane's main event, where three men will fight over the right to challenge Triple H for the WWE Title.

In standard present-day WWE Writer Monkey Fashion, Steph delivers a stilted thesis about how Superman vs. Batman and IronMan vs. Avengers and yadda yadda yadda, WWE's version is Lunatic vs. Empire vs. Beast.... the crowd goes mild, because either you are a Ham-Handed Commerical Advertisement or a Normal Human Being Speaking Conversational English, you can't be both at the same time.

Luckily, Ambrose bails her out by making an "surprise" appearance. He wants Steph to cut it out, because only two things need to happen tonight. One, Ambrose just wants to sign the contract and get one night closer to Fastlane. Or two, why wait for Fastlane, Ambrose just wants to get his hands on Brock Lesnar.

Steph does a little "Hey, I'm the boss, I'll tell you what happens, not vice versa," at which point Roman Reigns interrupts to basically remind Steph that there's two dudes who want Lesnar, and maybe she should stop trying to prevent it from happening. So Steph relents, and introduces Brock (and Paul E.).

Once they get to the ring, Steph keeps Paul's granstanding to a minimum, and encourages all the parties to sign the contract. Ambrose goes first. Reigns goes second. Lesnar third.

Then, Paul grabs a mic, and tries to stir up trouble between Ambrose and Reigns. Noting that Ambrose is like Reigns in so far as he's felt an "beatdown from the Authority," but that he's never felt an "Authoritative Beatdown from the Beast," he should ask his "big brother" what it's like. Ambrose laughs off the attempt to make him the "little buddy" of the duo, and instead decides to confront Lesnar.

The two go chest to chest, and Ambrose pulls back to throw a punch.... Lesnar blocks and just shoves Ambrose to the mat. Reigns tries to charge, but Lesnar throws the table at him. Reigns tumbles out of the ring. Lesnar hoists Ambrose up, and drops him with an F-5.

Lesnar and Heyman leave, victorious, while Reigns slowly recovers and gets in the ring to check on his brother. Just when you think the segment is gonna end on Lesnar's victorious retreat, HHH comes out on the stage and says "Hey, remember me? Your prize for winning that match is fighting against the Cerebral Assassin." It's a threeway staredown (Ambrose/Reigns in the ring, Lesnar/Heyman on the ramp, HHH/Steph on the stage) as we conclude the segment....

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DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KEVIN OWENS

This is the rubber match of their revived feud (which originally invovled the IC Title, and ended in Owens' favor). And since Ziggler won their most recent affair, last Monday, Owens is angry.... so Owens blindsides Ziggler as soon as the bell rings.

Then, for a solid 3-4 mintues, Owens dominates Ziggler. Even the times when he randomly stops to berate Cole don't result in a reversal of fortune. It's All Owens All the Time, baby!

Ziggler finally musters a desperation sleeperhold, but when Owens can't break it by falling back into the turnbuckles, he just dives over the top rope with Ziggler on his back. They both land hard, but Ziggler appears to take the worse of it. We'll find out after these....

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Back, and it's the same thing it is 90% of the time when I'm forced to use the phrase "Back, and...." yes, a chinlock. But Dolph fights out in short order, and we do a bit of back and forth until Ziggler actually nails a stiff DDT.

That sets up his for-real comeback. Ziggler's in control, and when Owens dives outside the ring, Dolph follows. They have an exchange, ending with Ziggler hitting a "Drive-by" version of the Fameasser (apron-assisted) right towards the end of the ref's double count.... but both men dive in at the last second.

Another exchange, and Owens sets up for his second attempted Cannonball of the match.... Ziggler dodges, and turns it into a roll-up. But as part of his pinning combo, Ziggler puts both his feet on the second rope for extra (illegal) leverage. The ref does not see it.

Your Winner: Dolph Ziggler, via pinfall, in about 12 minutes. Better than Match #1 of the trilogy, not as good as Match #2, but here, the story kicks in, and kind of makes you care more than you did before. Dolph just won the "feud," but he cheated.... that dog won't hunt monsignor!

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Backstage: the Usos are getting ready for their previous announced Tables Match against the New Day, and the Dudleys come in to talk.... they mention that Tables Matches are kind of THEIR thing.... the Usos mention that they've had the Usos' number and are still chasing those tag titles, so tonight's match is THEIR thing.... Bubba does a pitch perfect spiel about how SUUURRRREEEE, tonight is the Usos' well-deserved follow-up match, but "tables" is still kind of the Dudleys' thing, so why not make this BOTH of their things? You know, instead of the New Day having a 3-on-2 advantage, let's force the New Day to go find a partner and make this an 8-man Tables Match?

The Usos like the sound of that. If the Authority OKs it, the Dudleys are on!

CHARLOTTE (w/ Ric Flair ) vs. ALICIA FOX (Non-Title Match)

Alicia gets a bit longer to put up the good fight than you'd expect, but the announcers mostly spent that talking about (a) why Brie wasn't in her corner (she's with Bryan) and (b) "Total Divas" (where Alicia is TOTALLY finding Twue Wuve this season).

Advantage: anyone who had the sense to FF this glorified squash.

Your Winner: Charlotte, via submission, in 4 minutes. Not bad, but most houseplants recognize that this was "Charlotte has a title match coming up against Brie, so we're just throwing Brie's friend out there as cannon fodder," so it would have had to have been really good to overcome that handicap.

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Revelation: the Authority has OK'd it, and the New Day are now looking for a Mystery Partner to face the Duds and Usos.

THE HIGHLIGHT TV (or, the MizReel)

To start, this is an episode of MizTV, where Chris Jericho is to be the guest. But Miz spends 3 minutes talking about how AJ Styles violated the spirit of MizTV last Monday, and now, he will feel Miz's wrath.

Along the way, Miz once against compares Styles to Daniel Bryan (who was Miz's NXT "rookie") for cheap heat, and reminds us that he headlined WrestleMania, so seriously, some respect please!

Chris Jericho's music interrupts, and it turns out HE has headlined WrestleMania, too, so he's not too impressed by Miz. Instead, Jericho takes up Styles' case, saying that Styles beat Miz's ass on MizTV and then beat him in a match on Thursday's SD. Along the way, Styles knocked out two of Miz's teeth (with photographic evidence; ouch).

So Jericho decides to just take over, entirely. He says that nobody wants MizTV, anymore. They want a Highlight Reel. Jericho calls the stage crew in, and they make over the ring with new carpet, and the JeriTron 5050.... and just like that, Miz is the guest, and Jericho is the host, and hilarity ensues. Well, maybe not "hilarity," but easy, effortless laughs from two guys who know how to work a crowd, even if this isn't exactly hand-crafted genius....

Now that it's Jericho's show, Miz turns the table by requiring the "monkeys" to show footage of Jericho's own recent misfortunes against AJ Styles..... and yes, Jericho lost a match, but that's why Jericho issued a challenge for a rematch: he's pissed that Styles beat him, but he'll deal with it by having a second match, and finding out if Styles is just good.... or if he's GREAT.

Finally, Styles himself shows up to speak for himself. Wait, did I say "speak." Haha, I keed. AJ Styles does not speak!

But he does show up, and has a Staredown of Mutual Respect with Jericho.... so Miz takes advantage and attacks Jericho from behind.

But AJ is honorable, so he comes to Jericho's aid, and beats the crap out of Miz, tossing Miz from the ring.

Now, it's just Jericho and Styles in the ring, death-staring. They are about to come to blows when Miz tries to sneak up on them. For a second time, Jericho and Styles team up to dispatch Miz.

Then, they staredown again, and this time, it DOES come to blows. Styles is just about to get the better of it when Miz interrupts AGAYN. Styles fights Miz off, and wants more of Jericho.... but this time, Jericho just smiles, shakes his head, and says this can wait till Thursday (when the Styles/Jericho rematch takes place).

Good segment, all around, from the show switch (MizTV to Highlight Reel) providing the comedy, to the more substantial Jericho/Styles things.

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RYBACK vs. BRAY WYATT (w/ Wyatt Family)

Yes, they appear to be "rebooting" Ryback as the Next Goldberg. But on the other hand, the Wyatt Family is probably gonna get tasked with opposing Lesnar or Undertaker at WM32.

So we're all adults here, let's not pretend this was something it wasn't.

Your WInner: Brya Wyatt, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. Yeah, I have no idea how this snoozefest got booked for 10 minutes, but it never once changed the central message. The Wyatts are dominating everything in front of them, whether it's Lesnar (at the Rumble), Kane (the night after), or Big Show (last week). Ryback's just next. Whee.

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TITUS O'NEIL vs. ADAM ROSE (w/ the Social Outcasts)

Last week, Heath Slater became the "Red Dragon." This week, Rose laid claim to being "The Radical Mongoose."

Advantage: Mongoose!

It took a convoluted outside interference sequence, but Rose got the cheap schoolboy roll-up on Titus.

Your Winner: Adam Rose, via pinfall, in 3 mintues flat. I can state, with authority, that this is a thing that happened.

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LUNACY PERSONIFIED

Dean Ambrose is here to make good on his promise to get his hands on Brock Lesnar, no matter how crazy that sounds.

And it gets really crazy, really fast, as Ambrose just starts making Brock his (verbal) bitch, with all kinds of world class disses.

"Hey, what was that you gave me earlier tonight? An F-2? I know it wasn't an F-5, because I'm still standing."

"Maybe HHH is right, maybe things are getting soft in Suplex City. Sounds like you should have a personal discussion with your doctor."

"Oh wait, I know. You forgot to get Paul E's permission. That's why you won't come out here. Well, ummmmm, just me, but when I hire an advocate, I'm not hiring him to HOLD MY BALLS FOR ME."

ZING~!

And after that one, Brock and Heyman finally show up. Brock is all "Hey, I'm just gonna go do this," almost with a smile on his face. Heyman is clearly just going through the motions of trying to talk him down, and sort of wants to see the carnage, too.

And so it is that Brock stalks down to ringside, and then Ambrose jumps out of the ring and meets him at the intersection of aisle and ringside.

Brock wins the fisticuffs. Cuffing blows. Knees. Dismissive shoves. No suplexes, but eventually, an F-5 right in the middle of the ring. Totally one-sided.

So Brock starts laughing, and walks out.... until Ambrose gets up on his knees and BEGS Lesnar to come back and finish this. Brock heads back to the ring, and backs Ambrose into a corner.... which is when Roman Reigns' music hits.

Reigns makes an entrance down the ramp, and is standing at the foot of the ramp, talking trash with Lesnar..... all of a sudden, Ambrose crawls behind Lesnar and hits an uppercut to Lesnar's ball sac.

Lesnar crumples into a heap. Ambrose stumbles (as victoriously as one can stumble) up the ramp, pausing briefly to turn to Reigns and say "Hey, see, just like I said I was gonna do." Heh, Ambrose is the best.

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LUCHA DRAGONS vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO/RUSEV (w/ Wade Barrett)

Hey, Sin Cara is back! But Kalisto has become the US Champion without him! Anyone else foreseeing a problem?!?

To wit, Sin Cara got his ass kicked for about 4 minutes, then a hot tag to Kalisto, who was objectively twice as fast as Sin Cara, until Rusev and Barrett both cheated, allowing ADR to get the pinfall win after his Tree of Woe Stomp (with Sin Cara being of no help).

Your Winners: ADR and Rusev, via pinfall, in about 6 minutes. Whether Kalisto drops the US Title back to ADR or not, I'm suddenly having vision of Kalisto vs. Sin Cara at WM32..... Kalisto made the most of Sin Cara's unfortunate injury, and now, I think most fans join OO in seeing him as a notch above Sin Cara....

Earlier Today: R-Truth went to the Seattle Version of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. Don't ask me why they have a superfluous one when the one we have here in Ohio is more than adequate. But they do. And Truth decided to got htere looking for Hendrix stuff.... instead, he found Goldust dressed up as Hendrix, which led to some bizarre exchanges in which I wasn't quite clear on who was talking about Little Jimi and who was talking about Little Jimmy. The courtship continues!

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BECKY LYNCH vs. TAMINA (w/ Naomi)

Becky is officially flying solo, but Sasha Banks is sitting in on guest commentary.... and together, the two have a match at Fastlane against Naomi and Tamina, so you'd think Sasha would be more supportive of Becky.

But nope, Sasha is flamboyantly self-absorbed. The entire match is basically Becky fighting the good fight, only to have interference from Naomi swing the match back in Tamina's favor. Cole harangues Sasha about how she shoudl go help Becky, but Sasha declines, saying she is upset with how Team BAD turned on her, but Becky's just her partner, not a friend, so why would she go out of her way?

And then, finally, Naomi makes the mistake of directly pissing Sasha off, so Sasha DOES try to help Becky.... but it backfires, and Tamina and Naomi decimate Sasha. Becky -- because she is good and decent and delightful and lovable in every way -- does not stop to do a math problem, and just goes out to help her partner.... in so doing, Becky lays the smack down on Naomi....

But she walks right into a big boot from Tamina, and gets pinned.

Your Winner: Tamina, via pinfall, in about 5 minutes. Not a great pairing in terms of smooth ring work, but I'm a huge fan of the story side and how WWE is building up Becky as the disarmingly likeable and awesome one of the bunch. And unlike WWE, I can sincerely say "No pun intended." I just accidentally needed to use "disarm," whichis more than I can say for WWE deciding to rename an exploder suplex the "Lass Effect."

Which is not to say I'm against "Lass Effect." That's actually pretty cool. But it should be the name of a move that doesn't already have a widely known name.

Backstage: the New Day are looking for their tag team partner, and they've decided.... the partner is off camera, but Big E talks about how he's a know Ladies' Man, and Kofi talks about how a unicorn horn will put him over the top, and Woods says something about trombones...

And we pull back to see that the New Day are asking Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry to be their partner! Well, not Sexual Chocolate..... they'll leave THAT in the past, but instead, go full speed on recruiting "The World's Strongest Unicorn." Henry finally agrees, but only after he's allowed to play the trombone for a bit. Henry and Big E seal the deal with some of the meatiest hip swivelling ever~!

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THE USOS & DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE NEW DAY & MARK HENRY (Tables Match)

We are now running late, so they rush an opening segment in which the babyfaces get off to a fast start, ending with the Usos hitting stereo planchas onto the heels, leading to a four-way celebration as we break for....

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Back, and the tide has turned... the heels are dominating what appears to be a de facto Tornado Rules Match.

But in short order, we get a secondary vibe.... the heels are dominating because the New Day are bossing Mark Henry around. Hey, do this! Hey, do that!

And finally, Henry has had his fill, so he's all "Screw this noise," and he walks out on the match.

Nice, big, fun rally by the good guys, and it leads up to the the Dudleys hitting 3-D on Big E, putting him through a table, for the win.

Your Winners: The Dudleys and Usos, via tabling, in about 8 minutes. Yeah, really rushed, and without any real flow or traction..... but this little match was fun, and it still had a little extra something up its sleeve....

After the Match: the New Day retreated, and there seemed to be some drama as Jey sold a knee injury (as of this writing, I still think it had to be something more than a total work; but we'll find out tomorrow).... but finally, the Dudleys got the Usos to join them in raising arms in the middle of the ring. YAY!

But then: the Dudleys dropped the Usos with a pair of clotheslines.... how dastardly and Orndorff-y of them~!

Jimmy got a regular old 3-D through a table. But Jey (with the injured knee) got a top rope Bubba Bomb through a table.

And that, my friends, is a heel turn.

It's a great move for two reasons. (1) The New Day are practically forcing WWE's hand, and are kind of faces right now, so turning the Dudleys keeps the balance. And (2) I was there at HeatWave '99 where the Dudleys hit the absolute undisputable apex of heelishness, and this is their natural state. LET BUBBA SPEAK~!

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IT'S TIME

It's already 11pm (eastern), and we finally get Lilian Garcia introducing Daniel Bryan for what will apparently be the last time. He has to wait out about 3-4 minutes of solid "YES!" chants and "DAN YIL BRY YAN" chants.

As I type this, there is no (legal) full video of the speech, but ultimately, that's the version you should watch and consider the "archive" version.

For now, I'll just do a quick (and possibly error-ridden) transcript for posterity. Here you go:

So, just now, I was able to close my eyes and feel that, like literally feel it in a way that I’ve never gotten to feel it before because when we’re here, we always have to keep our eyes open. But just that experience, literally I’m never going to forget it.

But now – but now it is time for me to address the giant elephant in the room. I know, I know – I didn’t want to shave my beard either. But the thing is, is that I wanted to cut my hair, and once I cut my hair, I looked really silly with this giant beard.

And this is just my one cheap plug is that I cut my hair for an organization called ‘Wigs for Kids.’ And one of the nice things about them is that they make wigs for kids who have had cancer, and they don’t charge the families at all for that, so if there is anything worthwhile that comes out of what I’m saying tonight, that’s it right there. But now to some less fun stuff, so…

Trust me, I don’t want to be doing this anymore than you guys want me to be doing this, but the truth is I’ve been wrestling since I was eighteen years old. And within the first five months of my wrestling career, I’d already had three concussions. And, uh, for years after that, I would get a concussion here and there, or here or there, and it gets to the point that when you’ve been wrestling for sixteen years, that adds up to a lot of concussions.

And it gets to a point where they tell you that you can’t wrestle anymore. And for a long time I fought that because I had gotten EEGs and brain MRIs and neuro-psychological evaluations and all of them said this: that I was fine and that I could come back and I could wrestle. I trained like I could come back and I could wrestle. I was ready at a moment’s notice if WWE needed me, I wanted to come back and wrestle because this – I have loved this in a way I have never loved anything else.

But, a week and a half ago, I took a test that said that maybe my brain isn’t as ok as I thought it was. And, I have a family to think about, and my wife and I want to start having kids soon… [funtime interlude: the crowd cheers at the notion of Bryan taking Brie to PleasureTown, and so Bryan jokes that his wife has also been known to chant "YES!" at him. Seattle responds by chanting "THATS WHAT SHE SAID." Delightful! Bryan seems genuinely overcome by the giggles.]

So, it is with a heavy heart and the utmost sadness that I officially announce my retirement, but if there’s one thing… so I’ve gone through all these complex emotions in this last little bit. I’ve been angry, I’ve been sad, I’ve been frustrated, I’ve been all of that, but today, when I woke up this morning, I felt nothing but gratitude because I have gotten to do what I love for nearly sixteen years. Let me tell you a few of the things that I love, ok? Let me tell you a few of the things that I love. Nobody outside this arena or this city cares about this, but I love the Seahawks.

Here’s another thing that I love. Here’s another thing that I love. Right before my music hits, and it makes that weird sound right before it comes on, and when you guys react, every single time, even if I’m tired as hell or I’ve been hurt, every time I get this weird little smirk on my face that’s not like… but it brings joy to my heart, and I love it every single time.

Do you know what else that I love? I love hitting the ropes and diving right here. It has made me feel like Superman, and your guys’ reaction to that made me feel like Superman. I love that.

Here’s another thing that I love. Here’s another thing that I love. I have wrestled in the parking lots of gas stations AND I have wrestled in front of 70,000+ in New Orleans.

Here is another thing that I love. I have gotten to meet the most amazing people on this planet such as somebody who looks like a monster but is the smartest man I know like Kane. I have gotten to meet a man who has been my mentor and my friend for over sixteen years in William Regal. I have gotten to meet children that are stronger than I ever thought anybody could be like Connor. [Bryan has to re-gather himself as the crowd remembers the awesome little kid that was Connor.]

I am very grateful. I am grateful because wrestling doesn’t owe me or anybody back there, it doesn’t owe us anything. WWE doesn’t owe us anything. Nobody owes… you guys don’t owe us anything. We do this because we love to do this. And then, it was strange because I did this because I love to do this, and then all of a sudden you guys just got behind me in a way that I never thought was possible. In a way that fans shouldn’t necessarily get behind a guy who is 5’8 and a 190 pounds. You guys got behind me in a way that made me feel that I was more than just me, and for that I’m grateful.

I am grateful because a little over two years ago, in this very arena, you guys hijacked RAW.

They were trying to do a big championship coronation between Randy Orton and John Cena. They were combining the WWE Championship with the World Heavyweight Championship. And they had all the former champions out here, and this was going to be the most important match in WWE history, and you guys just wouldn’t stop chanting DAN YIL BRY YAN.

But that’s not why I’m grateful. I'm grateful because my dad was sitting right over there where the guy with the goat mask with the sign is standing right now. And, my dad got to see that. His son getting that kind of reaction from all you people… and that was the last time my dad got to see me wrestle, and you guys made it special for him and for me and for my entire family.

I am grateful. I am grateful because of wrestling, I got to meet the most wonderful woman in the world who’s beautiful, she’s smart, and she completes me in a way that I didn’t even think was possible, and that’s because of wrestling. I am grateful. I am grateful because I get to come out here in front of what I feel is my hometown fans, I get to announce my retirement in front of a bunch of people who love me, right?

That special moment that I had with my dad I get to share this moment with my mom, with my sister, with my family, with my friends. I get to share that with them, I get to share that with you, I get to share it with my wife in the back, I get to share it with all these wonderful human beings that I have spent the last fifteen years of my life with. I am grateful.

Now, tomorrow morning, uh I start, I start a new life. A life where I am no longer a wrestler, but that is tomorrow and that is not tonight. And by damn I have one more night to feel this energy and to feel this crowd, so if I could just get one last YES chant, I would really appreciate it!”

And Seattle made it so.

And so ends the show... over on the WWE Network, they finished out about 5 minutes of extra footage. RAW ran over by a full 25 minutes, the longest in some time, and I'm sure one of the highest rated, too.

On the WWE Network exclusive part, the entire WWE roster came out on the stage to salute Bryan, Brie came out for some hugs and smooches, and Bryan made a victory lap around ringside, making sure each fan within reach of the barricade got a hand-slap or more.

It was a pretty solid and fun show, overall, but Bryan's announcement overshadows it all. Great move with the Dudleys heel turn. Good work on the women's division (which now has TWO matches at the next PPV!). Great entertainment and advancement of the Jericho/Styles things, with good work by Miz. And more than anything, I don't have words for how much more excited I am by the chemistry of the Fastlane Reigns/Ambrose/Lesnar match than I am for the stupid-ass Reigns/HHH WM32 main event and Lesnar/Wyatts..... so those two segments with Lesnar/Ambrose were pretty great, too, in the short-terms "sustainable episodic TV" type of way.

I'm trying to think about how to add everything up and rate it, and I'm also struck by the Authority's pet-name for Bryan..... so I think it fairly appropriate that I just give up on trying to factor everything in, and give a final grade of B+ to tonight's RAW.

See you again in seven, OO Nation.....

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RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

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PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

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PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

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SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

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RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.