OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
On the Road....
January 5, 2016

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions, but it's fair to say I'm hoping for a Scaia Trauma-free 2016. It's been a crappy two years, starting with my Pancreatic Unpleasantness and Whipple Procedure, then I spent half of 2015 living in Texas because my brother was in a bad car wreck, and when I finally got home, my mom went and stuck her hand in a lawnmower so she has a couple of stubs on her left hand. Enough already, cosmos: just leave us alone for a year or two, please.

OK, maybe on teeny tiny resolution: I need to start rewatching Season 1 of "Better Call Saul," pronto, because Season 2 is just a month away, and I suck at binging. I can't tell you how blown away I was by how good "Saul" turned out to be... nor how anxious I am for Season 2 to finally arrive.

In the meantime.... WWE doesn't really do "seasons"; they are proudly Year-Round, baby! But during that year, there's a 3-month stretch that usually tends to be a bit more exciting than any other, and lately, we've started calling it "WrestleMania Season."

And for all intents and purposes, it starts tonight. Let's see what WWE has in store for us, shall we?

Opening Video Package for the Benefit of Those with ADD: OO does not recap recaps. Especially when they are recaps of something that was indefensibly terrible when it happened live, and should have been gracefully swept under the rug, rather than been antagonizingly shoved back in our faces again.

ROMAN'S PROMISE

And as Cole & The Gang offer a perfunctory welcome to San Antonio, TX, Stephanie McMahon is already on her way to the ring..... but she doesn't even get there, because halfway down the ramp, Roman Reigns' music interrupts, and he makes an entrance through the crowd. The two wind up meeting at the barricade, where Reigns jumps in and Steph deathstares him.

Reigns no-sells the deathstare, and just jumps the barricade and gets into the ring. Steph follows, and both grab mics.

Reigns talks first: "Steph, I don't think we need you out here. Tonight's not about you. Tonight's about me and your dad, so I'm gonna do what he did to me last week, and call him out." But there is no Vince, and Steph reveals that Vince isn't here, yet. But he will be, and when he gets here to referee tonight's main event, it'll be the end of Roman Reigns as WWE Champ.

Reigns disagrees, saying that the WWE is his life, and the WWE Title is his life, because it provides him with a way to support his family. And not just his real family, but his extended family, which includes each and every fan in the arena. And unlike most cities, San Antonio cheers this, unanimously.

Steph congratulates Roman on his positive mental attitude, but assures him that "Hope is not a strategy." She says her dad always gets his way, whether it's getting charges dismissed or getting the WWE Title off ingrates. And once Reigns is relieved of the WWE Title, Steph has no intention of letting him off easy by firing him..... nope, she's gonna do to Reigns what her daddy did to his dad, Sika. She's gonna work Reigns every night until he's broken down and used up, and then, she's gonna do it again to whatever stupid ingrate tries to step up next to pretend he's bigger than the McMahons.

Reigns cuts her off, and tags it with a simply one-liner: "Steph, the time for talking is done. And if your dad tries to screw me tonight, believe this: you won't pick him up at the police station. You'll be picking him up from the hospital."

Significantly more straight forward and less dipshitted than last week's opening segment, to say the least.

Up Next: it's gonna be a Kevin Owens vs. Neville rematch (of last week's massive upset, where Neville beat Owens in 30 seconds), and IC Champ Dean Ambrose is gonna be sitting in on guest commentary. It all goes down after these.....

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NEVILLE vs. KEVIN OWENS

Neville hits the ring, proudly carrying his Slammy (the one that should have gone to Owens), and also a set of taped-up ribs.

Super-fast start by Neville, as he tries to recreate his flash win from last week. In the ring, outside the ring, back in the ring, and finally, Owens just begs off and bails out of his own accord.... so Neville just targets him with a crazy ass shooting star while he's loitering at ringside.

But then, as Neville tries to get Owens back into the ring, Owens lands a single kick to the gut, and the injured ribs are Neville's undoing. Just like that, Owens in firmly in control. A tornado DDT is particularly impressive, but it basically all just results in Neville in a heap outside the ring while Owens gloats. Break in the action means we break for....

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Back, and Owens is standing in the ring, expecting a count-out win.... but Neville gets in at 9. So Owens chucks him back out of the ring and tries to ram Neville into the ring post. Neville reverses it, and Owens eats the steel. Neville follows up with a dropkick from the apron, and has a chance to accept a count-out....

But no, Neville doesn't want it like that. So he hits a 450 splash onto the floor, instead. Takes it back into the ring, but Owens kicks out at 2. Neville sets up for a top rope rana, but Owens fights out of it, shoves Neville so that he crotches himself and falls back..... Canonball hits, and then the Pop-Up Powerbomb is a mere formaility.

Your Winner: Kevin Owens, via pinfall, in about 8 minutes. A solid "make-good" for last week's abbreviated squash, but still an obvious TV Special, and not an actual wrestling match meant to have value in and of itself. This was a tool to further Owens/Ambrose. An tolerably entertaining tool, too, but not fooling anybody in terms of it just being a means to an end.

After the Match: as Ambrose gabbed about how Owens just won a match, but he hasn't done a whole lot to prove he's worthy of another IC Title match, Owens blindsided Neville again, and continued his assualt on an already-beaten man until Ambrose had to make the save. For about a nanosecond, it seemed like Ambrose fell into Owens' trap.... but then Ambrose won the brawl, laid Owens out on the announce table, and hit an elbow off the barricade, all while declaring that "Congratulations, you got yourself a rematch."

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TITUS O'NEIL vs. STARDUST

This is the monumental payoff of the epic feud between these two..... which has consisted mostly of Titus interrupting Cody's rants in his Celestial Lair and then running off. Meh.

Rewarding Moment of the Match: I don't think much of JBL as an intellectually curious man of learning, and he proved me right by talking about Stardust's cosmic fixation and referencing the famous physicist "Neil DeeGrassy Tyson." Yes, that's how he pronounced the name of the guy who's name he has clearly only ever seen in print.

Match actually has some traction, as Stardust gets under the Texas crowd's skin, and they try to get him to come back to the fold, by reminding him that he is "CODY CODY CODY." After a nice mini-heel-beatdown, Stardust is distracted by this, and TItus takes advantage. He mounts his comeback and hits the Clash of the Titans.

Your Winner: Titus O'Neil, via pinfall, in about 5 minutes. Nothing much, but given the backstory, and given the fact that they got buy-in from the crowd, it turned into a perfectly serviceable, if unremarkable, use of a segment.

Backstage: Becky Lynch is hanging out, and Charlotte approaches.... Charlotte is all "Hey, we have a match tonight, was that your idea?" And Becky is all "No, but hey, our last match didn't quite go like it should, so let's just go out there and have fun, OK, friendo?" And Charlotte's not quite buying it, but agrees.... and that's when Ric Flair (who helped Charlotte win their first match, via shadiness) pops in from behind and reveals he'll be there again tonight. Charlotte suddenly breaks into a smile and walks away.... Becky continues her run of being the best one of them all by giving a perfect non-verbal, "You gotta be kidding me....."

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CHARLOTTE (w/ Ric Flair) vs. BECKY LYNCH (Non-Title Match)

Tight back and forth feeling out to start, and after about 90 seconds, it leads to a stand-off after dueling kip-up vs. cartwheel. The fact that Becky seems to be matching Charlotte coninutes for another segment, and seems to be slowly getting under Charlotte's skin.

Finally, Charlotte offers a (clearly disingenuous) handshake, and Becky (awww, you sweet, sweet girl) accepts, and Charlotte yanks her in to begin a beatdown.

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Back, and Charlotte is working a front facelock, as the crowd actually chants -- pretty unanimously -- for Becky. Charlotte plays into it, mocking the fans as she transitions to a head scissors. If the idea was to ride Charlotte as a tweener for a bit, this crowd is two steps ahead of them, and Charlotte's not being shy about giving them all the ammo they need.

Becky fires up and gets a mini-rally, but Charlotte -- using her size -- snuffs that out with an old Hogan-esque Big Boot. Becky has to re-regroup, and starts a real fire-up, including a near fall off an Exploder Suplex.... but then, when she starts dropping divebomb legdrops, Flair reaches in and trips her up.

Beck turns to confront Flair, and Charlotte goes for the cheap roll-up.... Becky rolls through and turns it into a pinning combo of her own. WIth the benefit of a handful of tights, Becky secures the pin.

Your Winner: Becky Lynch, via pinfall, in about 8 minutes. Solid match, and finally, the story is clearcut... Charlotte is the dirtiest diva in the game. BUt when the Flairs tried to do a repeat of November, Becky had it scouted, and did what she had to in order to get a pinfall of her own. After the match, Charlotte pearl harbored Becky and delivered a secondary beatdown while Ric stood on and approved. If there was any doubt.....

Backstage: Vince McMahon has summoned Sheamus, and wants to put him through a few prematch instructions, because Vince takes legitimacy seriously. No Outside Interference! No Gouging! No Low Blows! Sheamus is starting to look worried that he's found a suddenly rule-abiding Vince.... but nope.... then Vince gets all winkwinknudgenudge and says that most of all "Just obey all my commands. ANd may the luck of the Irish be with you." Sheamus grins, Vince grins back, and shennanigans are assured!

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RYBACK vs. BIG SHOW (Very Special Not-a-Match Match)

During the ring intros, we get a lingering close-up on Lilian and long with her chyron, and I don't know if it was the fact that she was missing for a whole week, or just because that's a damned fine outfit, but I sure enjoyed the interlude more than is entirely gentlemanly.

Also during ring intros, Cole & The Gang discuss how -- after last week's angle -- Ryback has decided to declare for the Royal Rumble, too. He's #3, behind Show (and also, Curtis Axel, who was never eliminated last year!).

Bell rings, and Ryback seems to get the better of a brief brawl.... and at the 30 second mark, the lights go out after a Wyatt Freeze Frame.... when they come back up, Ryback is surrounded.

Big Show stands back while the Wyatts deliver a 4-on-1 beatdown, until Ryback is little more than a big puddle.

Show makes the mistake of smiling at this development, and suddenly, the Wyatts decide to turn their focus to him. They quadrangulate, and after Show briefly fends off the smaller guys to go face-to-face with Strowman, the foursome swarm and dominate Big Show.

As Bray and his boys leave, Bray goes on a rant (without a mic, just on the ambient sound) and reveals that they -- together, as a Family -- are also in the Rumble, and will ride their togetherness to victory. We'll see about that.... but as far as a nice "falling dominoes" reveal of additional entrants, the segment works for me.

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THE USOS vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO & RUSEV

Reigns is otherwise-occupied tonight, and Cena's conspicuously absent, so the Usos draw League of Nations duty, here.... fast start of the good guys gives way to the predictable heel beatdown. Notably, the fans do not chant for the Usos; instead, they chant "WE WANT LANA." D'oh.

After a snap superplex by Rusev leaves Jimmy-or-Jey rolling to the outside, we break for....

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Back, and it turns out it was Jey who got crushenated by Rusev, and it's still ongoing. So is the "WE WANT LANA" chant. Double d'oh.

Jey manages to get separation after an impressive deadlift Samoan Drop. Jimmy tags in, and ADR comes in on the corresponding move. Jimmy actually gets the better of the US Champ, leading up to a near fall after the Family Legacy Stinkbutt. BUt setting up for a moonsault gives ADR time to recover, and the positioning is perfect.... ADR crotches Jimmy, then ties him to the Tree of Woe, with designs on his Double Stomp finisher....

But Jey breaks it up, shoving ADR off the ropes, and tagging himself in. Superfly Splash to ADR, but Rusev breaks it up. And then, it's pretty much a Pier Four brawl, with the Usos taking out Rusev on a dive out of the ring, but as Jimmy tried to get back into the ring, ADR hit him with a run-up enzuigiri, and then went up top to do a modified stomp while Jimmy was tied up in the ropes.

Your Winners: Alberto del Rio and Rusev, via pinfall, in about 8 minutes. A good and necessary win for the LoN over an established act. Still, a bit odd that ADR doesn't get some involvement from Cena, since Cena is billed as being on this week's big Rebooted SmackDown, and it was thought that he'd be getting his rematch against ADR on that show....

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DOLPH ZIGGLER vs HEATH SLATER (w/ The New Army of Misfit Toys)

During Ziggler's entrance, it's revealed he has entered the Royal Rumble, too.

Then, Slater makes his entrances, and is joined by Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, and Adam Rose, which is completely random, but reeks of four guys that hardcore fans like trying to make one last ditch effort at getting over, JOB Squad style.

Bell rings, and Slater gives Ziggler a tougher than expected match, without any real cheating or chicanery. Just fighting harder than usual, and embracing the boos. About 4 minutes in, Ziggler finally turns the tide with an Implant DDT, and starts tuning up the band....

But after Rose hops up on the apron, Ziggler stops that. Slater with a flash pin attempt, but Ziggler foils it. So Axel distracts the ref while Dallas distracts Ziggler a second time. And this time, Slater's cheap flash pin works.

Your Winner: Heath Slater, via pinfall, in 5 minutes. Huh. There was no warning signs of this taking shape (unless you count "Monday afternoon, and only on twitter"), but I'm always down for guys who feel slighted asking for one last shot and getting it. Sometimes, it goes nowhere. Sometimes, it's the New Day. We'll see how these four work out.

After the Match: Slater leads his group to the top of the ramp, where each takes a turn doing his own version of "Hey, you never saw the best of me. Till now. Be very afraid." Slater tagged it by calling them the Social Misfits. So not so much the JOB Squad, and more The Oddities? I'm still willing ot see how it plays out....

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Thursday on the NEW SmackDown: Dean Ambrose defends the IC Title against Kevin Owens.... and Becky Lynch has asked for, and received, a title shot against Charlotte.

Backstage: Roman Reigns is hanging out, Vince McMahon walks in and delivers the EXACT same speech -- word for word -- that he gave to Sheamus.... the difference is, this time, Reigns likes the first bit, but gets a look of concern on his face when Vince hits the "above all else, you must obey my commands" part.

THE DUDLEY BOYS & KALISTO vs. THE NEW DAY (Special Not-a-Match-Now-But-Will-Be-a-Match-Later Match)

The New Day come out first, and do some New Year's themed riffing, and it all leads up to the New Day being much more important than the New Year, so in order to do this up right, we're going to do a COUNTDOWN TO THE NEW DAY'S MATCH!

It starts at 10.... and for 9, 8, 7. and 6, the countdown on the tron is bright and unicorny and New Day-y.

But as soon as it hits 5, it flips to a metallic shiny style, with a familiar background tone. When he get to 1, the crowd is going ape-poopy, because....

BREAK THE WALLS DOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWNNNNNN~!

It's Chris Jericho, and he's having flashbacks to 1999 and 2007. Hitting many of the same lines/concepts as he did in his debut appearance and his awesome SAVE_US.222 return, Jericho says he's coming back this time to Save WWE.

The New Day retort that WWE has already been saved, thanks to the Power of Positivity... and Jericho definately veers more towards 1999 than 2007 as he heelishly mocks the New Day's "stupid" unicorn horns, and then says that he's talking about real things. Statistics. TV ratings, live event attendence, Network subscribers, all these things need a boost, and Chris Jericho -- and Chris Jericho alone -- is the man to fix things.

After an awkward pause, as the crowd decides if they're supposed to cheer for this, or not, they decide "What the hell?" and fire up a "WHY TWO JAY" chant. Jericho thanks them, but kind of dismissively, because he wants to keep mocking the New Day, who were wasting our time with their Rooty Tooty Booty gyrations before Jericho so graciously saved us.

That gets Big E's dander up, and he makes the mistake of asking "Who are you calling ROOTY TOOTY BOOTY?!?!" Jericho just deadpans, "Uh, you." And a chant was born.

The New Day start blustering at the fans to stop, but Jericho cuts them off with a vintage "Won't you please shut the hell up?" And then Jericho gets down to serious business.

On January 24, Jericho is entering the 2016 Royal Rumble, and he will outlast 29 other men, because he wants -- one last time -- to feel the feeling that you only get from the Main Event of WrestleMania. And to that end, he closes with a word of warning, "From the Monkeys in the Truck, to the front office, to all the other Superstars and Divas... they will never (EEEEEEEEEVVER) be the same agayn."

Jericho's music hits, and he walks out, leaving an annoyed New Day in the ring, and leaving fans like us wondering just what sort of Master Plan Jericho is working on. Because it sure sounds like he has one... and only supervillians have Master Plans, so I'm pretty sure that was designed to turn Jericho's "Hey Welcome Back, Y2J!" pop into a "Hey, what's your deal, jerko?" vibe. All very interesting...

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THE DUDLEY BOYS & KALISTO vs. THE NEW DAY (Six Man Tag Match)

Eggsavier Woods' tradition of demanding to start match continues, and it doesn't end nearly as badly as usual. Sure, Bubba kicks his ass, but Woods holds his own long enough for a "ROOTY TOOTY BOOTY" chant to break out before it gets bad enough he tags to Kofi.

Kofi becomes a "heel in peril" as the faces take turns roughing him up.... it's so one-sided that the fans forget the heels are the FREAKING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, and start chanting for tables.... but instead, the faces coordinate on a lovely non-table triple-team spot in which Kalisto gets press slammed over the top rope to the floor, onto all three of the New Day.

After that, it's only a matter of time before we predictably break for.....

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Back, and whatever happened during the break is erased as soon as Big E catches Bubba with a belly-to-belly out of the break. We didn't have on before, but now, Bubba is our first official Face in Peril.

But he's not our REAL Face in Peril, as is clear from the basic vibe, and the fact that about 2 minutes in, Bubba gets separation and tags in Kalisto. Kalisto gets about a half dozen moves in, and then it all goes south.

Kalisto is flattened by Big E. Then the Unicorn Stampede. Then basic cuttingtheringinhalfery for a bit. The Big E goes for a Bossman Straddle, and whiffs, so Kalisto is able to get the tag to Devon.

NIce rally by Devon, as he fends off the extracurriculars while focusing on Woods (the legal man).... but it gets to be too much, and things just break down into a wild brawl.... things finally set up for WHASSSUP on Woods, but Big E breaks it up, and with help from Kofi, the Dudleys are temporarily shelved. Kalisto fights nobly, but for the time being, it's 1-on-3, and ends with him getting tossed out of the ring. The Dudleys regain their feet, but it's still 2-on-3, so it's not too long before Kofi and Bubba powder out, leaving Devon to eat the modified double-team version of the Big Ending.

Your WInners: the New Day, via pinfall, in 15 minutes. Good match. We never really got that New Day vs. Dudleys title match before, but now, it should be on tap, even if Sin Cara's injury is the reason why. Last week's awesome SmackDown match, and now this.... they have the chemistry.

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Next Monday: Brock Lesnar is back. Even without somebody stepping up to ASK FOR IT (per Heyman's promo at the Slammys), Lesnar is gonna show up to test the waters. FWIW, he faced Rusev at a house show last month, and he's facing Sheamus this Saturday at a house show, so if ANY of that is a test run, you can do the math, kids.....

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ROMAN REIGNS vs. SHEAMUS (WWE Title Match, Special Ref Vince McMahon)

Full boxing-style ring intros, so that means a second Lilianterlude. Never a bad thing.

But then, we have to get down to business, and Reigns and Vince have a tug-o-war before the bell, over the issue of handing over the belt.... mid-tug-o-war, Sheamus attacks, Vince snags the belt, and the bell rings.

Back and forth slobberknockery, and the early story is that Vince seems to be counting fast for Sheamus.....but then, when the match spills outside, Vince conveniently looks the other way. This allows Sheamus to take the ring steps to Reigns, and leaves him in a heap, as we break for our final....

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Back, and Sheamus is still in command, and Vince is still cheerleading his efforts. Rolling Senton by Sheamus gets anear fall, and its another QUICK COUNT~! by Vince.

Motivated by that dick-move, Reigns starts a comeback with a backdrop suplex, and the two start jockeying for control, with Reigns finally taking over. The first time he goes for a fall, Vince just stands there, only just getting down on one knee when Sheamus kicks out. Really obvious sandbagging, but hey, he's the ref, so whatchya gonna do?

Another exchance, and another powerbomb by Reigns.... this time, Vince actually drops down and counts ONE........ TWO....... but then begs off and claims he needs eye drops. Reigns gets up and stalks Vince, opening the door for Sheamus to hit a sneak attack, for another fast count. But Reigns kicks out, and after trading punches in themiddle of the ring, both men fall back into the ropes.

And when they bounce back and meet in the middle, Reigns hits the Superman Punch! Cover! Vince is down!

But then Vince just glares at Reigns, and refuses to count at all. Reigns gets up and backs Vince into a corner, beginning to really get pissed. But he finally lets Vince off with a warning, as he sees Sheamus getting to his feet.

Reigns makes like he's about to take Sheamus down with the spear.... but instead, he stops in mid-sprint and.... Superman Punches Vince, instead? Hokay, that could have been built to a little more artfully, but whatever...

Reigns goes and hits his spear on Sheamus, and makes the cover, but the nitwit forgets that there's no ref, because he randomly punched Vince out of left field. Does another ref appear? No, instead, Steph's music hits, and she gets up on the apron to scream at Reigns.

Reigns stands there and takes it for a bit, but then decides to have some fun: he picks up Vince and throws him into Stephanie, causing them both to bump awkwardly to the mat. Reigns is standing over them, threatening more violence, so Steph decides to bail, leaving Vince alone in the ring with Reigns.

Reigns makes a big fancy whoop-de-doo of calling for the spear on Vince.... but instead, using a carefully selected camera angle (which I don't care for, because you could tell by the crowd reaction what was happening, and the TV viewer should never have less information than the live audience), we see Reigns run right into a Brogue Kick from the rejuvenated Sheamus.

Then, it gets sloppier, as Vince is RIGHT THERE, watching all this, and Sheamus is looking right back at him.... but Sheamus calls for another referee, anyway. The hell? I think Vince was supposed to be knocked out on the floor or something, but nope: he's right there, and Sheamus looks foolish by wasting an extra 10 seconds waiting for the ref....

But on the upside, that ref is Scott Armstrong, everybody's favorite crooked referee who does the McMahon Family's Evil Bidding!

Seems like Roman's done for.... but Armstrong gives a standard count, instead of a fast one, and Reigns is able to kick out at the last second. Armstrong is as frustrated by this as Sheamus, and so he actually helps Sheamus set up for a Brogue Kick, and holds Reigns in place using Reign's chest protector thingie.

But Armstrong is a weakly referee, and Reigns is able to break free at the crucial moment. Superman Punch for the incoming Sheamus. Turn around, Superman Punch for Armstrong. Stephanie has finally yanked Vince out of the ring where NOW he remembers he's knocked out, too.

Reigns with an extra spear on Sheamus.

A third, uncrooked, ref appears.

One. Two. Three. Reigns beats the odds to retain the title.

Your Winner: Roman Reigns, via pinfall, in about 12 minutes. Well, if Vince hadn't completely wrecked the Scott Armstrong twist, this would have been a messy, overbooked schmozz.... but in a good way. It was frenetic and chaotic and you didn't really see the end coming until it happened. But because of that one goddamned moment where Vince was sitting RIGHT THERE, but Sheamus still had to call for the other evil ref, because it was in the script? That's just the sort of terrible expose that this is all heavily choreographed, and turns it into a messy overbooked schmozz.... in a bad way.

And unlike a blown spot, there was no real way to do it over or mask it. Sheamus just had to sit there and wait the extra 10 seconds. And that took me out of it. Maybe your mileage varied. But for me, it became harder to get excited for Reigns doing all this awesome stuff to win the match.... because it seemed more like Sheamus and Vince lost the match with that one awkward 10 second exchange.

After the Match: fortunately, we still have one more major development, so we won't end on that note!

As Reigns celebrates, Vince McMahon slowly recovers and Steph helps him to understand what just happened. Vince calls the third ref over, and punches him in the face for messing up the plan. And then, Vince asks for a microphone.

He (sarcastically) congratulates Reigns on his win, and then says he knows Roman is a fighting champion, so he probably wants to know his next title defense. Sure enough, Reigns smiles and can't wait to hear about the next stacked deck he'll have to face...

So Vince says Reigns will defend the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble... Reigns still smiling.

And your opponent wil be... Reigns is still smiling.

Roman's opponent will be..... 29 other men, because Reigns is defending the WWE Title in the Royal Rumble Match itself.

Reigns is no longer smiling.

Vince's music hits, and he regains a bit of his swagger as he and Steph turn to leave Reigns to contemplate the enormity of the challenge in front of him. Cole & The Gang lose their shit because -- for the first time since 1992's awesome Flair-won Rumble -- the WWE Title will be on the line inside the Royal Rumble. That's a lot to wrap our heads around as we fade to black....

And so ends the show... I'm gonna go ahead and declare it a pretty good one.

The screw up with Vicne/Sheamus/Armstrong was really bad, though, and with that finish being so wacky and convoluted already, it just felt like it couldn't withstand that one crack in the foundation... it really did take it from "good schmozzy" to "bad schmozzy."

But guess what: that version of the match is never gonna be seen again, and the footage can easily be edited into video packages that tell the story as intended... so let's all be honest and admit that Reigns/Sheamus was never really gonna be a magnificent stand alone wrestling contest, it was here to service the story and set up the WWE Title Picture as we enter WrestleMania Season.

In those terms, the main event was a success, as Reigns survived with the title, and Vince must now resort to desperate measures to wrest the title away from Reigns: for only the second time ever, the WWE Title will be up for grabs in the Royal Rumble.

And the first time was a doozy, still considered by many (including yOOurs trOOly) to be among the best Rumble matches of all time: Ric Flair, living up to the "60 Minute Man" monicker, entered at #3, and won the whole thing, and it was awesome. It was made awesomer by the fact that it was the very first time pay-per-view was available on our cable system, so I watched it live from my own living room with a giant crew of my friends and my brother's friends. But I'm pretty sure it was awesome, even in a vacuum, too.

For 2016 to live up to 1992, the key will be a large supply of credible winners, and we appear well on our way. If and when Brock Lesnar declares on next Monday's show, that basically sets the favorite, with everybody else tied for 2nd... but since Lesnar doesn't need the belt in order to draw, that giant second tier of options creates a really interesting and tough-to-predict Rumble.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Going back a few weeks, I've been endorsing the "Rumble is for the Title" concept as the most fun way to get out of WWE's WrestleMania Problem with a giant reset (they had plans in place for the top 4-5 matches, but with injuries and contractual problems, all of them had to be scrapped). So yeah, they blew that one spot in the main event, but it still served its storyline purpose well enough, and now, we're on the cusp of the most exciting Rumble match in a while.

The rest of the show was plenty good, too, and that's a big part of the reason why I'm just casting a blind eye on that one terrible mix-up.... the six-man tag was a really good match, and just a notch below, you had the Usos/LoN, Becky/Charlotte, and Owens/Neville. Matches that weren't so hot still existed for interesting reasons: Ryback/Show was the excuse for the Wyatts entering the Rumble, and Ziggler/Slater allowed us to meet the New Oddities.

OK, so I guess Titus/Stardust was a big fat zero, in terms of real value added, but it was still harmless fun. Throughout the night, I think the whole show benefited from an unusually charitable San Antonio crowd. They were firmly behind Reigns, they were happy to get into the women's match and Charlotte's final heeling, and they made that opener tolerable by getting under Cody's skin. Nice work.

Oh, and add in the intriguing return of "Savior" Chris Jericho, and you've just got yourself one hell of a big, fun, well-rounded show. I'm happy to call that an A-minus, which is a good thing as we turn the corner and begin sauntering towards WM32.

SmackDown moves to USA Network this week, too, with WWE hoping to revitalize it a bit, rather than it being a clear cut B-show that regularly has less than 2/3rds as many viewers as RAW. We'll see how that project goes, as OO will have coverage of this Thursday's SD Reboot. See you then, kids...

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.