OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Everybody Hates Sheamus
December 7, 2015

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

Exactly 52 weeks ago today, I did a precap talking about my Texas Brother being in a really bad car wreck...

Less than 18 hours ago, my Texas Brother had what should be his final hip surgery, closing a temporal loop in which I've spent more time in Texas than in Ohio.

It is now my official wish that every single person I know -- be it well, tangentially, or by blood -- just BE SAFE AND WELL. I wasn't feeling my best for the Holidays 2013, and it turned out to be because I had A Thing growing on my pancreas, requiring life-changing surgery and months of being bed-ridden and worthless. Then, the Holidays 2014 NEVER HAPPENED, because of my brother's wreck and spending 10 hours a day at the hospital for a few months while HE was bed-ridden and useless. I think I'm entitled to my first Real Christmas since 2012, goddammit!

So don't screw this up for me, anybody I know! I want to be thinking about presents and food and funtimes for the next few weeks!

In the meantime, you still want me to think about wrestling, which I do at a 48th grade level. That's right, when it comes to wrestling, I am a quadruple-senior. Or a double doctorate. Either way, that's way better than most of WWE's employees, which is why you're here:

Opening Video Package for the Benefit of Those with ADD: OO does not recap recaps.

WILD PACKS OF FACTIONS DO BATTLE

No opening/theme/pyro/etc, and instead, we slam cut to the ring, in Charleston, SC, where the League of Nations is already assembled, and soaking up the boos while some new (read: "generic and royalty-free") music plays.

Sheamus has the mic, and starts the talky-talk. He brags about beating Roman Reigns, ending his, ummmm, reign, at 5 minutes and 15 seconds. Then, he roll calls the LoN, and welcomes the WWE Universe to the "international era." Sheamus says it's time to stop thinking small and provincial, and start thinking global. The crowd starts chanting "YOU ESS AY" at him.

Sheamus deadpans that they scoured the American ranks for a member, but they couldn't find a yank who could cut it. The crowd changes gears for a "YOU LOOK STOO PID" chant. Sheamus pretty much just points to the belt, and reminds us that if being the champion is stupid, he'll gladly take that label all day long, because it means he's the best of the best.

Wyatt Freeze Frame. Lights go out. Lights come back on.

ANd the Wyatts are there in the ring, having a four-on-four staredown with the League. Crowd loses its collective mind, and starts chanting "YES! YES! YES!" as Bray Wyatt takes umbrage with the idea that the League is the best of anything. Because no matter what Nation you live in, this is still Bray Wyatt's world, and you're just lucky that he's letting you live and breathe in it.

Enter the Extreme. The Dudleys and Tommy Dreamer hit the stage, and say that if there's a fight happening tonight, they want in. Bray cuts Bubba off, and reminds them that the Wyatts have dominated them at every turn, because they are out-numbered and..... D-Von chimes in and says that's where Bray is wrong. Because Team Extreme has found their fourth.... and it's Rhyno.

Well, it's not RVD, but Rhyno's still probably a better choice than Spike Dudley, all things considered. I'll take it.

Those four head towards the ring, and the only quesiton is if this is 4-on-4-on-4, or if the heels will form a marriage of convenience to make it 8-on-4.

Roman Reigns' music hits, and flanked by Dean Ambrose and the Usos, another foursome starts heading to the ring through the crowd. What's it all mean? We don't know for now. A red-hot opening segment abruptly cuts to....

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LEAGUE OF NATIONS vs. WYATT FAMILY vs. REIGNS' FAMILY vs. TEAM EXTREME (16-Man Elimination Fatal Fourway)

Match is joined in progress, and Cole & The Gang quickly explain the rules... one member of each team in the ring at all times, can only tag their own team members. When one member of a team is eliminated, the entire team is eliminated, until only one team remains.
Hokay, but how do you wreck all the sizzle and buzz from that opening segment by just starting a random match during the ad break, when you could have built this up as a killer main event?

My guess is that WWE "Creative" chickened out, and realized that pre-booking the top 16 guys on the roster into the main event would make it hard for them to figure out what to do with the other 2+ hours of TV time. This way, they can just do some cheap, crappy ending(s) to this elimination match, and then recycle a few of these guys in other matches throughout the night.

As far as play-by-play goes, I'm out of my league, here, as it's all the narrative issues of a fourway multiplied by the narrative issues of a tag match (constant powder-outs/changes-of-pairings, faces in peril, hot tags, etc), so I just give up.

First really big spot of the match sees Reigns' team get on a roll. The Usos go for a double superplex on Rusev, but then, Strowman gets under all three, and turns it into a 1-2-1 tower of doom, and Rusev actually collides hard into Dreamer, for extra carnage. But then, with Rusev and both Usos completely wrecked, we're reminded that Rowan is actually the legal man for the Wyatts... when he finally goes over to the pile to pick out a victim, he picks Dreamer.

And Dreamer drops him with a flash DDT. Rowan is pinned, the Wyatts are eliminated. There's a natural break in the action as the ref directs traffic, so we break for....

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Back, and the League is working Dreamer and an Uso over, easily switching from one to the other, and back again for a bit. After a couple minutes, Dreamer's able to tag Bubba, and Bubba takes it to Sheamus so effectively that the LoN swarms into the ring, and a Pier 12 Brawl breaks out. For a moment, Reigns and Rhyno stare each other down, and the crowd pops for the possibility of Spear vs. Gore. But neither man is legal, and the Pier 12 resumes until the Dudleys are isolated on Sheamus (Bubba and Sheamus are legal).

They go for WHASSUP??!!!!??, but Barrett breaks it up, and his distraction allows Sheamus to hit a Brogue on Bubba. Bubba is pinned, the Extremists are eliminated. We're down to Team Reigns vs. the League, straight 8-man tag, except that if they stick to the Fatal Fourway stip, it's actually de facto no-DQ and no-Count-Out.

Both teams huddle and decide who to send into battle. It's Ambrose vs. Rusev.

Ambrose dominates for a flashy hot start, and after he takes out Rusev with the standing elbow, he celebrates as we break for....

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Back, and the LoN has taken over. Sheamus is working over Jey Uso. Frequent tags keep Jey on the wrong side of the tracks for several minutes. Jey gets separation when he dodges a corner charge by Barrett, and Barrett crotches himself over the top rope. Hot tag to Reigns. Corresponding move to Alberto del Rio.

Reigns is on fire. Rattles off a bunch of moves, steps back, calls for the Superman Punch. Misses on the first attempt. Hits on the second. LoN attacks, and all 8 men get involved, with Reigns and Ambrose and the Usos getting the better of it, leading to a trainwreck spot where the Usos plancha just about everybody.

But Reigns is legal, and as he tries to isolate on ADR (also legal), Sheamus creates a distraction, and turns the tide. ADR flattens Reigns with his low concussor superkick. But then, an Uso attacks ADR, and after the two brawl briefly, ADR wins it, but decides Sheamus is fresher. So he tags in Sheamus. Sheamus spies Reigns still on his knees, and calls for the Brogue.

But when he goes for it, he walks into a Spear. Reigns pins the WWE Champ, just like that.

Your Winners: Team Reigns, via pinfall, in about 25 minutes. Not sure I agree with the seemingly desperate/too-fast move from an opening segment that could have been milked WAY better right into a random match, nor with the fact that Reigns just pinned Sheamus that easily. The former just strikes me as lazy and leaving money on the table, and the latter makes your champ look way too weak OR telegraphs that he'll find some cheap way to retain on Sunday so they had to give Reigns a "win" here to pre-protect him. Is it so hard to make both champ and challenger look strong so that nobody really knows how a big fight will end up? As it stands, either Reigns wins and everybody boos or Sheamus wins and nobody cares because he's a paper champion who gets pinned after one spear on RAW. Bleh.

All that said, I still sort of fell for it. When you put the Wyatts in there with the League, staring each other down, that's just so genuinely surprising and fresh that it gets your juices going, no matter how much WWE frittered away that potential over the next half hour.

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Backstage: Renee Young catches up with Sheamus, and asks him about what just happened in the ring. Sheamus says that we all just saw a miracle, because that's as close as Roman Reigns will ever come to the WWE Title. He promises that on Sunday, he'll grind Reigns to dust, and maybe he'll even do it in less than 5 mintues and 15 seconds, just because he can. And in fact, he doesn't want to wait till Sunday. He wants Reigns again, and he wants it tonight. Stay tuned to see Sheamus destroy Roman Reigns 6 days before TLC.

Elsewhere Backstage: Stardust is rambling, apparently about Jack Swagger, and for the third week in a row, Titus O'Neil invades the Celestial Lair, and lobs a few insults about how Stardust needs to spend less time in dark rooms, and more time "getting some." Ummmm, Titus, have you seen his wife? Yeah, that's not his problem.... Titus finally clarifies that Stardust needs to "get some" "me time" to relax, read, unwind, and maybe then some of his crazy will melt away. Stardust says he's just fine with things as they are, so Titus says he'll see Stardust "Out there," and then leaves. Stardust isn't quite sure what to make of that last comment....

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KEVIN OWENS vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (Non-Title Match)

Tyler Breeze (and Summer Rae) are at ringside, in the VIP Ladydrink Lounge. So not only is it non-title, it's non-likely-to-have-a-finish. D'oh.

Meantime, we cut backstage, and see that Dean Ambrose is watching on a monitor, sitting on a folding chair with popcorn and a soda, which is pretty much the opposite of Breeze's Ladydrink Lounge. Heh.

Early feeling out process is slow-going, and breaks in favor of Owens' size and strength. Within 3 minutes, he takes Ziggler to Chinlock City. Ahem.

Crowd seems to be alternately dead-silent and vaguely split as the pace stays methodical well past 5 minutes. Ziggler gets nothing but hope spots in that whole time, and when the match spills outside, Owens slams Ziggler into the barricade. Back into the ring, Owens gets his first near fall off that. Then, immediately re-hooks the leg for his second. And a third. He finally realizes it ain't happening, so he gives up and goes back to the punchy stompy.

More methodical beatdown. BUt then Owens whiffs on his senton splash, and Ziggler gets traction for an actual fire-up.... whoops, spoke too soon. Ziggler whiffs on a Sting Splash, and Owens rams Dolph into the steel ringpost.

Ziggler crumples to the floor, and Owens stands his ground, willing to take a count-out.

Ziggler makes it back into the ring at 9. Owens hits the senton immediately, for a near fall.. Ziggler rolls out of the ring again. After an extended long slog, we finally break for.....

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Back, and we're making a return visit to Chinlock City. We also reset the extracurriculars by revisiting Breeze in the Ladydrink Lounge, and Ambrose backstage in the Dirtbag Dungeon, both watching intently.

Then Dolph finally does the for-real comeback out of the chinlock. Stinger Splash hits. Heartstopper Elbow hits for Dolph's first near fall. Match spills outside, and though Owens briefly regains control, he also briefly admonishes Cole -- as is his wont -- and Ziggler hits a flash DDT.

Back in the ring, we start going back and forth. Near fall for Dolph, Fameasser misses, German by Owens, cannonball misses, Fameasser hits, near fall.

Owens shakes off a sleeper, Dolph misses a superkick, Owens hits a superkick, Owens is slow to follow up and walks into a superkick by Ziggler. Near fall. Both men up, trade fists, Owens wins it, shoves Ziggler into the ropes. Catches him with the pop-up powerbomb. Fin.

Your Winner: Kevin Owens, via pinfall, in 15 minutes. You tell me it's Owens/Ziggler and 15 mintues, and I get excited. You show me this match, and not so much. It got plenty good by the end, but the entire first two-thirds was flat, and further hurt by a dead crowd. Owens may not be 100% after a wicked flu bug (why he was not on TV last week), and if so, that explains why he did 10 minutes of not-very-much-other-than-trash-talking (leaving Dolph unable to generate his usual sympathy, which requires a lot of bumping around)). But that makes it all the more foolish for WWE to ask for the 15 minutes in that case. Oh well.

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Backstage: Miz walks in on Neville to reiterate a storyline that started on Thursday's SD (which is seen by roughly 60% of RAW's audience)... namely, that he can take Neville from a little troll boy into the Next Daniel Bryan, if only Neville accepts his mentorship. Then Donny Osmond shows up for some paid product placement for whatever that show is that isn't "Crissley" but seems every bit as worthless based on commercials. Then Miz hands Neville his business card and leaves.

SASHA BANKS & NAOMI (w/ Tamina) vs. BRIE BELLA & ALICIA FOX

I thought last Monday recast Brie as an underdog singles babyface, but then on Thursday's SD, "Team Bella" (without Nikki, who is out of action with a neck injury) was right back to acting pretty hateful. But Team BAD are still doing the Lady New Day thing, so it's not like they're purposely going for sympathy or face appeal, either.

That said, the live crowd has their choice, and is about 80/20 in favor of Team BAD. Having said "That Said," the narrative flow seems to suggest that WWE thinks Brie and Alicia can/should be the babyfaces, as Alicia takes on the Face in Peril role. In other words, mixed messages. Between WWE flunking the "reading the audience" aspect of Sasha Banks, and the weird heelishness by Charlotte last week, I think I can safely say that this is leaving the Shades of Gray (which can be compelling) and entering the realm of just-plain-confusing.

Alicia gets separation on Sasha, and makes a hot tag to Brie, who gets booed out of the building as she goes on a tear against Naomi (who comes in on the corresponding move). But then Tamina creates a distraction (also a heel move), and Naomi hits the Buttbutt for the win. Fans cheer.

Your Winners: Team BAD, via pinfall, in about 5 minutes. Match wasn't actually too hateful, just the story it tried to tell was so aggressively at odds with the story the fans wanted, which just makes you wonder what universe WWE's front office is living in, because it's not the same one as the rest of us.

After the Match: looks like WWE has decided to go ahead and embrace that whole Lady New Day vibe.... because after a brief celebration by Team BAD, the New Day's music hits, and they hit the ring, telling the ladies not to be sour, and to feel the power.... cuz they totally have the New Day's endorsement! Big E, Kofi, and Woods whip out unicorn horns, and share them with the women, who gladly accept, and put them on for a 6-way boogie-down.

So, ummmmm, in no universe are Team Bella babyfaces. But I guess if WWE wants to do this thing where the New Day/Team BAD are entertaining heels, who can make you both laugh AND boo, as necessary, I can get behind that.

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THE NEW DAY (w/ Eggsavier Woods) vs. THE LUCHA DRAGONS (Non-Title Match)

The Usos are sitting in on commentary. The New Day preface the match with a lengthy promo that amounts to an anti-ladder thesis, including a small set piece in which Big E is a tree, Kofi is a kitten trapped in the tree, and Woods is the entire New Day, who do not require a ladder to save the kitten, as they are grown-ass men. It's pretty entertaining, but it's also increasingly obvious that WWE isn't gonna have anyone from that opening 16-man be recycled for a match, and thus, everybody else is being asked to spread themselves way thinner than they should be. Oh well.

Once the talking is done, the Dragons enter, the bell rings, and the New Day actually get the better of it pretty quickly. About 30 seconds of flashy babyface heat, and then the New Day are in solid control, and Woods is even tooting his trombone as we break for.....

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Back, and we rejoin the action just in time to see Sin Cara make a hot tag to Kalisto.... strike that. Kalisto gets about 30 seconds of offense, then Woods creates a distraction, Kalisto whiffs on a dive, and the New Day are right back in command, with Kalisto as our for-real Face in Peril. The Unicorn Stampede is on, as Woods accompanies on his horn.

But the beatdown is short-lived. Maybe only 2-3 minutes. Then Sin Cara is tagged back in, and is en feugo. But as part of his rally, he tries to pin Big E, who is NOT the legal man. As the ref explains this, Woods gets on the apron to taunt, the Usos get involved by attacking Woods, and before you know it, Sin Cara gets a roll-up on Kofi (who is legal).

Your Winners: the Lucha Dragons, via pinfall, in about 8 minutes. Not too shabby, and in this case, the champ(s) getting pinned before the PPV is fine, because the tag titles aren't the same as your world title. And also: the Usos caused a distraction, so it was far from clean. And also also: the New Day have a built in comedic element, and also a built-in Freebird element where they can cheat back even harder on Sunday.

Backstage: Renee Young catches up with Roman Reigns, and asks him about Sheamus' comments. He goes on a ham-handed, overly-scripted rant that will not endear him to much of anyone, other than third-year liberal-arts school students. But the takeaway is that he accepts Sheamus' invitation, and will meet him in the ring later tonight.

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MIZTV WITH CHARLOTTE AND RIC FLAIR

Miz is already mid-ring with black carpet and director chairs, and does a nice little intro for the Family Flair. As if Miz's glowing introduction isn't suggestive enough, both Ric and Charlotte are decked out in black. Huh.

Miz then points out that Charlotte's changed gears lately. No longer weepy and crying, but instead, strong and confident, and willing to do whatever it takes to win a match. He asks Ric about this, and he says he couldn't be more proud, and he'll keep being proud on Sunday, when he joins Charlotte for her match agaisnt Paige at TLC.

Miz tries to take the quesitoning directly to Charlotte, and why she's changed. Charlotte says she hasn't really changed, she's just revealed how she's always felt: that she wants to be the best, and she'll do whatever it takes to stay the best. Charlotte then accuses Miz of being sexist, because the very things her dad did, Miz praised him, but when Charlotte does them Miz criticizes her. Charlotte works in a cheap mention of Miz's wife (Maryse) and how she must be a miserable woman.

Miz keeps stirring the pot. Ric Flair steps in and tells Miz to watch his step. But then Charlotte tells her dad that she appreciates it, but she can handle this, and Charlotte goes on a rant about how she'll kick that goth drama queen's ass on Sunday, and if she doesn't want to wait till Sunday, she's happy to provide a preview right now.

Miz says "Aha, gotcha, that's what I wanted you to say." He says he's got Paige standing by, and asks her to come on out. RATINGS~!~?~!~?

Paige hits the ring. Ric enourages Charlotte to back off, because this is clearly a trap, and they are Flairs, which means they are champs, and they play it smart. Charlotte does leave the ring, but Paige pulls Ric back to the middle of the ring. After some off-mic chatter, Paige slaps him. Ric just turns to his daughter, smiles, and says "Get her."

Charlotte dives back into the ring, tackles Paige, and has the upper hand before Paige extricates herself. Paige and Miz leave, while Charlotte and Ric are standing tall. Still don't have a real good feel on what WWE's going for here. Flair and Charlotte certainly seem to be going for "shades of gray/anti-hero," and Paige/Miz are the easily-booed pure heels.... but that still doesn't explain why they screwed over Becky last week. And am I supposed to feel like Ric is *thisclose* to turning on his own daughter, or is that awkwardness accidental?

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RYBACK vs. RUSEV (w/ Lana)

Ryback wins an initial lock-up, and Rusev uses it as an excuse to roll out of the ring and smooth on Lana until the ref's count reachs 8. Then he gets back in the ring. Lock up again. Roll out again... but this time, before he can find Lana, Ryback steps back and hits a crazy sloppy suicide dive onto Rusev. Whoa.

Ryback takes it back into the ring for a near fall. Then more power offense. Just as I'm wondering if I should make a joke about how "Women weaken knees," Rusev finally grows a pair, and dumps Ryback out over the top rope. With Ryback in a heap, we break for....

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Back, and Rusev is working on Ryback's left arm and shoulder, clearly aiming to take away Ryback's power arsenal. After a few minutes, Ryback makes his inevitable comeback, featuring his usual power stuff, but also punctuated by a few extra things, including a second-rope dropkick. It's not THAT fancy, but it's a nice little touch that -- in a match against another power wrestler -- Ryback has a little flexibility to do a few more crowd-pleasing bits.

Ryback's rally continues, and the match spills outside.... and there, Rusev hides behind Lana, and Ryback's momentum takes him into her. The contact is minor, but Lana sells it like Ryback just killed her. Ryback shows compassion, and checks on her. Rusev takes advantage by attacking and locking in the Camel Clutch.

All the while, the ref is counting, and gets to 10.

Your Winner: nobody, via double count-out, in about 8 minutes. Surprisingly not terrible, with Ryback throwing some extra stuff in there, and the finish -- despite being cheap -- actually ties into last Monday, when Rusev showed compassion for Lana and got counted out. Now, Ryback shows compassion, and it's a double count-out.

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JACK SWAGGER vs. STARDUST

We join the match in-progress, with TItus O'Neil sitting in on commentary. Then, after about 2 minutes, Alberto del Rio and Zeb Colter roll out to the ring.... as soon as Swagger seems on the cusp of a submission win, ADR runs in and hits him with a steel chair.

Your Winner: Jack Swagger, via DQ, in about 3 minutes. Nothing to see here. I honestly don't even know why Titus was out there, which might have justified 1 of those 3 mintues. But I guess at least we know who's going to get stuck with trying to make a silly "Chairs Match" seem like fun on Sunday.

After the match, ADR hits Stardust with the chair, then Swagger grabs a chair, and chases ADR, who actually runs into Zeb's scooter, which slows him down. ADR takes a few chair shots before he can run away.

The Rusebush: it's here for a second week, and has a huge upgrade in terms of silly graphics/sound-effects. Not so much in terms of material. Neville has big ears, and Tommy Dreamer's spray tan isn't very good. GROUNDBREAKING COMEDY~!

Backstage: we see Alberto and Colter talking, and del Rio is pissed that Colter and his stupid scooter got in his way earlier. It's an escalating war of words, in which Alberto blames Zeb for what happened tonight, but Zeb reminds ADR that he wouldn't be back in WWE with the US Title if not for Colter. But when ADR threatens Zeb with a steel chair, Zeb blinks first, and makes a slow, lonely roll down the hallway, while the newly independent del Rio smirks.

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TOMMY DREAMER (w/ the Dudleys and Rhyno) vs. BRAUN STROWMAN (w/ the Wyatt Family)

So they DID recycle two of the guys from the opening 16-man for a match.... it's just that they're the last two that anyone wanted to see work a second match. D'oh. Also, it's already an afterthought since we join the match in-progress. Well, not quite in-progress, but close enough: everybody's in the ring, and we come back just in time to hear the bell ring.

Then time-compression directly into the "mid-match" heel beatdown. Dreamer gets a few punches and a low dropkick to briefly knock out Strowman's knee, but then Strowman gets the bearhug, and.... that's it? Yep, the second least convincing submission move in history is back!

Your Winner: Braun Strowman, via submission, in 3 minutes. A waste of time and effort, no two ways about it. Nothing post-match, either, just the Wyatts backing off in celebration, as the Dudleys and Rhyno check on Dreamer.

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OMG CONFRONTATION~!

Roman Reigns is already in the ring. The ring is already surrounded by tables and ladders. I see no chairs, but I assume they are there, too, since it's a TLC Match we are hyping. Reigns has a mic, and says he's here, as scheduled, but he doesn't see Sheamus.... hummmm, what's up with that?

But if Sheamus doesn't want to show up for his own party, that's OK, Reigns has a few things on his mind. Specifically, he takes us back to TLC 2012, where the Shield made their in-ring debut in a TLC Match, and they earned their spots in WWE. Now, Reigns has been fighting for the WWE Title, and he's even won said title, however briefly, and he's right back where he started: a TLC Match.

So Sheamus, if you got something you want to do or something you want to say, get out here. Because Sunday, in a TLC Match, Reigns is regaining the WWE Title.

Finally, Sheamus decides to show up, and says Reigns has quite an imagination on him. Because Sunday's TLC has nothign to do with 3 years ago. It will only have to do with 3 weeks ago.... you remember 3 weeks ago, right: Survivor Series, 5 minutes and 15 seconds? Heh.

Reigns: "So you're here to talk? I thought you were here to teach me a lesson? Get on down here."

Sheamus: "I'll fight you when I want to." Reigns: "I was told the Irish love to fight." Sheamus: "I do. I mean, that is clearly racist, but in my case, it is true." Reigns: "Irish love potatoes. But you're clearly smuggling tater tots." Sheamus: "I'm not that dumb. You have a bobby-trapped little fort around that ring, so you can wait till Sunday, when I build a castle out of tables, ladders, and chairs." Reigns: "I'm a dumb, shallow mantwat, and I question your masculinity and your ethnicity once again."

Sheamus plays it "smart," and gets Reigns to get rid of his Prop Fort, item by item, until Reigns is alone in an empty ring. Even though the live crowd is kind of into the "tater tot" thing, Reigns plays off it in the most unlikeable way possible. Just bully-ish enough to ring false for a "Be a Star" company, without actually crossing over into clever or edgy enough to be awesome. He's clearly not acting like a good guy, but it's too dumb and stupid to be cool. Roman Reigns is a Mean Girl.

But with the ring clear, Sheamus thinks it'll be a fair fight. So he falls for the bait, and bumrushes Reigns. For a moment, it works, and Sheamus introduces Reigns to the announce table and a ladder.... but when the brawl spills out into the crowd, Reigns gains command, and steers things back towards the stage area.

Once there, Reigns slams Sheamus into some more of the props, which include tables and ladders. But when Sheamus gets his hands on a chair, he turns the tide, and whaps Reigns a few times, chasing him back towards the ring. The two are going back and forth as they approach the announce desk, where Sheamus regains control long enough to prep the desk (removing the hood and monitors).

Sheamus goes for a powerbomb onto the table, but Reigns counters and hits a Superman Punch...

Reigns steps back and calls for the Spear, but Sheamus sidesteps, and Reigns flies over the announce table, hitting the barricade.

It looks like the show is gonna end with Sheamus celebrating, but all of a sudden, Reigns gets up, dives OVER the announce table, and spears Sheamus through a table that's leaning against the ring apron.

Definitely a nice, surprising big spot which suggest the level of creativity and ultra-violence the two will pull out on Sunday. The level of miscalculation with the talky part of the segment cannot be overstated; WWE officially has no idea how to make us like Roman Reigns, the person. But he's had plenty of solid in-ring performances in 2015, and Sunday should be more of the same. Reigns isn't quite 100%, but he's smiling and his music is playing as we fade to black.

And so ends the show... definitely some issues with the layout and pacing. You come out of the gate with a segment that fresh and hot, you can hang an entire 3 hour show on that framework.... but instead, they blew right through the 16-man match, ended it pretty lame, and then expected us to keep caring about the core issue of that lame ending (Reigns pinned Sheamus) for a non-match final segment.

You can't do that. If you reverse the psychology (Sheamus beats Reigns, and Reigns calls for the re-showdown), that can work, but you can't just have your world champ pinned, then have him say "Hey, do over" (despite the fact that he already has a do-over on Sunday), and then have the do-over end the same way (Reigns again beat Sheamus), and expect anyone to care all that much.

It's frustrating, because I never -- in one million years -- would have guessed that I'd see a tease for Wyatts vs. League of Nations, and that got my juices flowing. And then, after that jolt of energy, the show just got stupid and predictable again. Boo. There are ways to temper those two extremes, ways to tease without giving away... tonight was none of them.

Then the time management issues... it's one thing if there's a reason for them, and you just sort of know "Oh, I get it, the laugh pauses for The Rock went long, and now we're rushing." But the parts of the show where it was obvious they were trying to milk it (especially Owens/Ziggler) despite having no real zazz? And then other parts where they were obvious rushing (matches with no ring entrances, and also not properly building the 16-man)? It's almost like the people laying out the format don't know how TV works, because all that could have been handled a hundred times better...

But at the end of the day, here's the thing: the line-up for TLC is just really, really nifty. Reigns and Sheamus should deliver the goods.... ECW vs. Wyatts in a tables match ought to be fun.... the triangle tag title match with ladders ought to be awesome.... and secretly, I kind of think Owens/Ambrose could steal the show if Owens is 100% after his flu bug... so if I'm already sold on the PPV, what was this RAW supposed to accomplish?

I suppose it could have been used to sell somebody else, but honestly, I'm such a hard sell that WWE is forgiven for thinking the work was done.... so instead, they just lazed out, did zero value-add, but didn't screw anything up.

Seriously, this show didn't make anything better (other than maybe ADR turning on Zeb, which makes his fit in the League of Nations a bit tighter), but it sure as hell played to existing strengths and reminded me why I was already all-in on TLC.

I guess I can give a show like that a final grade of B-minus. And I'll invite you all back here on Sunday night for my post-PPV recap. It might be delayed an hour or two, due to Texas-to-Ohio travel issues, but it'll get posted before I go to bed.

Be well till then!

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.