OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Hate the Taker?
August 17, 2015

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

In the past 48 hours, here are two things that happened to me:

(1) I went to Kroger, and was greeted by the first Halloween Display of the season. Oh. My. Land. Back to School season isn't even over, and it's Halloween, now?

(2) I saw a TV commercial for Leinenkugal's Pumpkin Shandy. You know: beer, with pumpkin. Because Autumn And Hipsters.

I dare you to figure out which one made me more annoyed. Go ahead, try....

It's a trick question.

Even I don't know which pissed me off more. I just know that if there really are enough people out there who currently think it is October (even though it is August) that it is worth it for multi-billion dollar companies to change their marketing plans, then I hate you all, and suspect the world would be a better place if you all died in a fire.

But secretly, I'm pretty sure those people don't exist, and multi-billion dollar companies are trying to invent them by marketing Late October, even though it's not even Labor Day. Sadly, I'm not gonna stop shopping at Kroger.... but maybe can the rest of you morons stop putting Pumpkin in everything, and acting like it makes it better?

I mean, everybody likes Milky Ways, and even without Halloween, we'd end up eating oen every now and again. But it's been proven time and again that nobody like pumpkin, as witnessed by the pumpkin pie you make at Thanksgiving that has one slice taken out of it, and then rots, all while you have no leftovers of apple pie, since it's something that people actually like.

If you have a different Pie Experience, by all means, let me know, but I'm pretty sure my research is rock solid. Well, unless we're counting the hipsters; I don't know many, anymore, and they're the ones trying to make pumpkin into A Thing.

SPEAKING OF HIPSTERS, WWE is headed to Brooklyn this weekend, and it should be pretty awesome. So here's what happened tonight on RAW:

THREE MINUTES OF STUFF IN A 12 MINUTE BAG

No dilly-dallying, this week. We cold open to the inside of Maybe-The-Target-Centre? in Minneapolis, MN, where Lilian Garcia announces the Authority. In this case, it's just Triple H and Stephanie, who hit the ring, acting a little bit extra smoochy-smoochy for no readily apparent reason.

Steph opens, by saying that this is starting to feel like Christmas Eve, and it's all because SummerSlam is shaping up to be the greatest present of all time, and we all can't wait to open it and start playing with it. You know, she's not really lying. In my preview for tonight's RAW, I flat out called this the most tantalizing SummerSlam since 2002 (the one where The Rock passed the torch to Brock, and HBK returned from a 5 year retirement to reclaim his own spot at the very top of the industry). For better or for worse, I am already tingly for this weekend.

But rather than just let us all quietly contemplate the truth of Stephanie's analogy, they spend the next 8 minutes running down the whole card in superfluous fashion. I know it's a pet peeve of mine that will never go away, but when WWE starts putting on TV that's EXCLUSIVELY for the benefit of people who are not regular viewers, I take that as a personal insult to me. Almost like they're telling me I'm wrong for keeping up with the product, because the marginal fringe fans are more important.

There is a nice little tag after all that zero-value-add bluster, as the Authority officially announce that Jon Stewart will be the "Host" of SummerSlam... even there, fans already knew Stewart was gonna be at SummerSlam (because it was a poorly kept secret over the weekend), but at least they confirmed his exact role, which sounds like what Rock and Hogan did for recent WrestleManias, which means it'll involve a lengthy in-ring skit to open the PPV. And that's just dandy with me.

Triple H says, as far as he's concerned, SummerSlam Week starts right now.... so he brings Randy Orton down to the ring for our opening match. Against whom? We'll find out after these....

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RANDY ORTON & CESARO vs. KEVIN OWENS & SHEAMUS

During ring intros, WWE also confirms the weekend's other poorly kept secret: Jonathan Coachman is bringing SportsCenter to SummerSlam. Both the 10am Sunday morning and 6pm Sunday evening editions of the show will be from outside the Barclay's Center in Brooklyn. Should be good for some crossover appeal, since anytime you can talk about Brock to a mainstream audience, they WILL take it semi-seriously. [Meantime, I find it ironic that -- years after SportsCenter became unwatchable as a show that would actually increase one's knowledge about sports events -- THIS is the reason why I might actually watch an episode.]

Everybody gets to the ring, and Cesaro campaigns to get his hands on Owens. Owens teases it, but then tags out to Sheamus, and chuckles about it. Orton demands to be tagged in, and Cesaro obliges. Sheamus doesn't exactly chickenshit his way out of the ring by tagging back to Owens.... but as soon as the fans start chanting "YOU LOOK STOO PID" at him, he bails out and starts screaming at them to "RESPECT THE 'HAWK!"

Then back in the ring, and they go back and forth a bit. Orton gets the better of it, so Cesaro makes the tag to Owens. Then Orton -- forever one of the dimmest bulbs on the tree -- makes a big fancy show of how he wants to tag Cesaro back in. So Owens just punches him in his stupid face to short circuit that. Owens gets a minute or so of heel beatdown, but then Orton gets a moment of separation and gets the flash tag to Cesaro.

Cesaro goes on a tear, and eventually Owens just ducks out of the ring to regroup. As Cesaro celebrates the moral victory, we break for....

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Back, and Orton is now our Face in Peril. He's getting dominated by Sheamus. Then a tag, and he's Owens' bitch for a bit. Then, back to Sheamus, who keeps the pedal down for about 90 seconds; ARE WE NOT ENTERTAINED? I'm not UNentertained, that's for sure, but I've never been as fond of Randall as the average fans....

After getting his catchtaunt in, Sheamus tags out, and Owens goes straight into the chinlock. Orton takes that personally, and uses it as his excuse to jumpstart his fire up. He escapes the hold, and the match spills outside, where Orton suplexes Owens onto the barricade.Orton crawls towards his corner, and after a brief decoy, he gets the tag to Cesaro. Sheamus in on the corresponding move.

It's an orgy of uppercuts, as Cesaro dominates Sheamus. Builds up to a Steamboat-Style crossbody for a near fall. Cesaro sets up for the Giant Swing, but Sheamus gets a rope break. Cesaro argues with the ref, and Sheamus hits him with the Irish Curse.

Sheamus up top, and he goes for the flying shoulder block, but Cesaro interrupts him with a mid-air uppercut for a near fall. Neutralizer attempt, Sheamus flips through, and runs the ropes. On the criss cross, Orton blind tags himself into the ring. Sheamus keeps his focus on Cesaro, eventually hitting a Brogue Kick. But that's when Orton re-interjects himself into the match, attacking Sheamus from behind, fending off interference from Owens, and then hitting the RKO on Sheamus.

Your Winners: Randy Orton and Cesaro, via pinfall, in about 12 minutes. A pretty pitch-perfect execution of your tag formula, with good pace, and a little bit of a creative flourish to the finish so it felt more satisfying than inevitable. Nothing especially fancy or clever, but more than serviceable.

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That's It?: After a week of hype about the Undertaker and Brock Lesnar being on RAW, they shoot it to a lame pre-tape, in which the Undertaker kicks it old school with a thesis about how Brock's very soul is on the line, and the Hounds of Hell are howling for it, and Taker will deliver it to them. All while there's creepy chanting in the background.

Ummm, so that better not be it. But they come out of the pretape, and Cole & The Gang are all "Chilling words, and later tonight, Brock Lesnar will also be here to talk about Sunday's big match." So they're playing it off like that's it. I sort of suspect they are underselling it. If they aren't? D'oh.

Backstage: Seth Rollins has dropped in on Triple H and Steph, and he's just going over the plan for tonight.... he's wants to get this deal in writing, so we've got the contract all written up, right? Yep, HHH/Steph supply a contract, and Seth looks it over, and approves. We're gonna get that contract signed tonight, and then it's onto SummerSlam, where Seth fully expects to walk out with both the WWE and the US TItles.

In fact, along those lines, Seth admits that he's been thinking about something.... if he beats Cena, and is the first man to hold the WWE and US Titles at the same time, he will cement himself among the true legends in WWE history. And he wants to be treated as such. Rollins talks about the lobby of WWE HQ in Connecticut, and how there are all kinds of statues and displays to past legends....

Steph: "So you.... you want a statute?" Rollins: "Well, I didn't say that. But you did. And now that you mention it, yeah, I'd like that." So Triple H sorts it by saying, "Fine, if you beat Cena and you walk out of SummerSlam with both titles, you'll get a statue." Rollins is happy, but I suspect HHH just telegraphed that holding BOTH titles is the key, not just winning the match.... and there are an infinite number of ways for Cena/Rollins to end with each guy retaining his title; in fact, I think it the likeliest outcome at this point.

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ROMAN REIGNS vs. LUKE HARPER (w/ Bray Wyatt)

Rematch from SmackDown, with one change: Dean Ambrose isn't "with" Reigns, but he is sitting in on guest commentary, so that might as well be the same thing.

For the second week in a row, Byron Saxton is also left standing, as Ambrose steals his chair on Bray's behalf, and passes it off to Bray in mock-generosity.. Wyatt accepts with faux gratitude. Heh.

Harper gets the better of the opening few minutes, but then Reigns finally gets a mini-rally that ends with him chucking Harper out of the ring. Break in the action means we break for....

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Back, and Harper's regained control and is working a front facelock. Reigns escapes, so Harper hits a Michinoku Driver for a near fall. Harper goes back to the rest holds. When Reigns powers up again, Harper flattens him with a big boot. Back to the front facelock, this time, with added Gator Roll action.

This time, when Reigns fires up, it sticks. The strikes give way to a suplex, and then to the rapid fire corner clotheslines. Harper fights out after only 5 of the 10, but the match spills out to the floor, where Reigns stays in control. Reigns tosses Harper back into the ring, and it turns into a mini cat-and-mouse role reversal spot, where Harper intercepts Reigns, and sets up for a powerbomb.

But Reigns powers out, and hits a big Samoan Drop for a near fall. Reigns calls for the Superman Punch, but Harper rolls out of the ring. When Reigns folllows, Harper greets him with a superkick. Reigns is out, so Harper gets into the ring, willing to take a count-out win. When Reigns gets up a 7, Harper steps back for a big suicide dive.... but Reigns catches him with the superman punch.

Reigns dives into the ring, planning to hit a big spear, but Harper sidesteps and has another Big Boot. Reigns kicks out at 2. After another exchange, Harper ducks a clothesline, hits a second superkick, and lands the powerbomb. Reigns kicks out at 2. Harper winds up for his Big Ass Lariat, but Reigns ducks it, has a Superman Punch waiting, and finishes it off with a spear.

Your Winner: Roman Reigns, via pinfall, in 15 minutes or so. Probably a bit slow out of the gate, but by the end, it was pretty good stuff, and there were even pretty strong "ROH MAN RAINS" chants, which means both guys did their jobs. For my tastes, what makes it a tinch more satisfying is how they have kept us off-the-scent as to which of these matches will just end in a schmozz, and which will actually have a finish. About half of them have been inconclusive, but half have had a clean finish. Even the ones where Ambrose and Wyatt are sitting RIGHT THERE.

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BECKY LYNCH (w/ P&C) vs. TAMINA (w/ Sasha & Naomi)

Tamina's got 5 inches and a few LBs on Becky, so they use that as the story of the match. At least to start, Becky's speed is useless against Tamina's power. A handful of near falls off slams and throws, and then Tamina settles in for a chinlock.

Becky fights out, but Tamina flattens her with a clothesline and some more strikes. It's only after Becky sidesteps a charge that she gets traction for a rapidfire flurry of kicks, leading up to a missile dropkick. That gets her her first near fall.

From there, we get a moment of double-reversey, but it ends with Becky cinching in the Disarmer.

Your Winner: Becky Lynch, via submission, in about 3 minutes. Nothing fancy, just a nicely laid out plucky face vs. power heel narrative. And I'm only kind of ashamed to admit that what I liked best about this was that Michael Cole was aggressively pushing Bekcy's "Lass Kicker" catchphrase. When that t-shirt came out 4 months ago, WWE instantly kiyboshed it, because it'd be weird if a dude wore it because he was proud of beating up girls. But I'm glad that, in the end, we've decided to capatilize on a cool t-shirt, instead of worrying about what kinds of shitheads might buy it for the wrong reasons.

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MARK HENRY vs. RUSEV (w/ Summer Rae)

This is a rematch from last week, right down to Lana sitting in on guest commentary. If you'll recall, that ended poorly for her last week, so JBL grills her about why she's out here again, this week.... she says not only does she believe that courage is a noble trait, but she "has a plan." Ahem.

Henry's got the patriotism dialed up to 11, with new ring gear and an American flag, but I mean: we're all still adults here, right?

Henry gets off to a fast start, even gets a couple near falls, but it doesn't last. Tide turns during a visit outside the ring. Back inside the ring. Superkick lands. Rusev cinches in the Camel Clutch. Done and done.

Your Winner: Rusev, via submission, in 3 minutes. I can state, with authority, that this is a thing that happened.

After the Match: but after the match, things heat up when Rusev and Summer leave the ring, but Lana gets up into the ring and calls for them to come back. Lana wants more os Summer. And backed by Rusev, Summer decides to play along.

Slaps are exchanged, and Lana wins the first round. Suddenly, she calls for Rusev to step up... and Rusev starts stalking her, menacingly. The crowd starts chanting "ZIG LER" and so Lana just breaks out into a smile and glances over Rusev's shoulder.

That's when Dolph Ziggler does, in fact, make his "surprise" return, coming to the rescue. Dolph gets the better of Rusev, and when Summer tries to interfere, Lana takes her out with a nice kick. Rusev and Summer retreat, leaving Dolph (now more brunette than blonde) to tongue joust with Lana in celebratory fashion.

Earlier tonight, HHH and Steph gushed about a "9 match" card for SummerSlam. My Inner Smark only just now realizes that there were only EIGHT matches at the time of their promo. It'll become 9 once we make this one official. D'oh!

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Backstage: Dolph and Lana are walking backstage.... and up walks Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo, asking about how great it feels to be back and getting that reaction. Dolph says Joey Jo Jo nailed it: that rush is why he's back, and he wants to keep the feeling rolling, so he thinks the Authority should add one more match to their Dream SummerSlam. Wait, so TEN matches, now?!?!?!?!

I keed. I'm the only one who noticed that, and Ziggler's just asking for his revenge match against Rusev. The one we all already knew about, but were pretending not to.

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RYBACK vs. MIZ (Non-Title Match)

Big Show is sitting in on guest commentary, apparently mostly to plug his involvement in a new WWE Films DVD release (it's out tomorrow, but I've already forgotten the name of it!), and only tangentially to advance the three-way IC Title Feud.

Miz makes his entrance, and keeps things going by talking about how Big Show is a crappy actor, and how he is truly Mr. Hollywood. Once the bell rings, however, we actually get a nice re-do, as Big Show talks exclusively about the physical IC Title issue. He gives Miz credit for playing mind games and talking about his Hollywood credentials, all while ignoring the fact that, once the bell rings, Miz is nothing compared to Big Show OR Ryback.

In the ring, Ryback underscores Big Show's narrative by dominating Miz in under 3 minutes.

Your Winner: Ryback, via pinfall, in under 3 minutes. The highlight of that whole match was Big Show turning the phrase "Gender-Neutral Jedi Wannabe." After the match, Ryback challenges Big Show to jump in, cuz he's hungry and would like to fed more. Big Show declines.

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CONTRACT SIGNING

Triple H and Steph are in the ring, with the full Table and Chairs Contract Signing Ensemble set up in the ring. They call out the champ, Seth Rollins.

Rollins hits the ring, and kisses up to the bosses, by saying HHH and Steph have put together the greatest SummerSlam of all times. Then he sarcasta-sucks-up-to the fans, by saying they're unlike any fans of any other sports.... I mean, if you're a baseball fan, you can't just go to a baseball game, expecting to see a no-hitter....

Well, wait, unless you're going to see the Minnesota Twins, in which case, a no-hitter can break out at any moment. HA~!

But also: BOO~!

Minneapolis doesn't cotton to Rollins, not for his cheapshot on their team, nor for his amplification, in which he promises to do wrestling's version of a no-hitter by walking out of SummerSlam with both the WWE and US Titles.

From there, Rollins channels his Inner Owens, by once again referencing Cena as "superman," but saying that in reality, he is the supervillian who was ruined WWE for over a decade. And now, our REAL hero is here, because with one single knee strike, Rollins broke Cena's nose, and kicked off the series of events that will eventually eliminate John Cena as a pathogen. Cena is the disease, and Rollins is the cure.

MIXED REACTION~!~!~! [Probably as close to 50/50 as you can get, actually.]

And then, he finally starts getting back to tonight's business, by mocking Cena for not being man enough to come at him, face to face. Last week, Cena went to Orlando to appear on Tough Enough, and tonight, he sitll hasn't shown his ugly mangled face....

Just like that, Cena's music fires up, and he hits the stage in new orange gear, and actually not looking too bad for a man whose nose was splattered across his face three weeks ago.

"You're talking about statues of you going up, and half these people are chanting LET'S GO CENA, the other half are chanting CENA SUCKS, and NOBODY is saying a damned thing about you." Zing.

But off that zinger, Cena builds a serious thesis: Rollins isn't where he is because of Rollins. He's there because he was hand-picked by Triple H. HHH sees a chance to make his own Mini-Me, HHH will always do whatever it takes to advance his own legacy, and now he's got his own pawn, holding the WWE Title and using the Pedigree. But what neither of them is able to cope with is that, through it all, the CHAMP is still HE-YAHR~!

And from there, Cena gets interesting.... he actually addresses his new orange gear, which is suspiciously heavy on the number 15, because Cena is a 15-time World Champ, and a LOT of smarks took that as a "spoiler" that he wasn't gonna win at SummerSlam. But Cena "reveals" that he designed this gear months ago, when he assumed he wasn't getting anywhere near the WWE Title. But then Rollins had to go and get cocky, and challenged Cena.... and now, Cena will be perfectly happy to redesign the shirts.

Because everybody knows that HHH's mentor is Ric Flair, who holds the record of 16 World Titles. And Flair passed his legacy onto HHH, just like HHH is trying to do with Rollins. But Cena's gonna ruin that all on Sunday. On Sunday, Rollins goes from being the Future to being a Footnote. He's the man who lost and gave John Cena his record-setting 16th World Title.

And then, to rub it in: "Just to be clear, I'm not saying I'm better than Ric Flair. I'm just saying that when Ric Flair passed his legacy to Triple H, he didn't make HHH his bitch. But the way I see it, Seth Rollins, you ain't nothing BUT Triple H's bitch." BOOYA~!

Cena signs the contract and leaves the ring to a huge pop.

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THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS & LUCHA DRAGONS vs. THE NEW DAY & LOS MATADORES (w/ Eggsavier Woods and El Torito)

Standard 8-man tag match, with the Matadores kind of shoe-horned into heel roles. But Woods proactively addresses this, by yelling about how "Look, the Matadores wore Purple, as a sign of their spirit of partnership).

But then, all of 30 seconds into the match, Woods also got up on the apron, ostensibly to help create a pro-Matadores distraction, and it backfired. So Torito attacked Woods, all hell broke loose, and Titus finished off whichever of the Matadores that was.

Your Winners: PTPs and Lucha Dragons, via pinfall, in about 90 seconds. Was it good? Nah. But did it remind us that Sunday COULD be good, and that it's all four teams for themselves with no real honor among thieves? Yep. Works for me.

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All Hail: after a lengthy video package recapping Stephen Amell's involvement in SummerSlam, we cut to Stardust's backstage Celestial Lair, where King Barrett is seated on a throne in the background. The two go back and forth in a delightful manner, in which Barrett is slowly getting weirder and weirder; not just going along with Stardust's odd turns of phrases, but actually chiming in with his own.

And then the punchline of the whole bit is that Stardust has a gift for King Barrett.... it's a new pair of shoulder pads made of spikey bits. Barrett says this is a warning to that ALL HAIL..... and then Stardust intones, the COSMIC KING. And then they both cackle.

That was outstanding on so many levels.

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SASHA BANKS (w/ Naomi and Tamina) vs. NIKKI BELLA (w/ Brie and Alicia) (Non-Title)

Nice back and forth, taunty start. When Nikki gets the better of it, she does jumping jacks and stuff for the cheap heat. Then Sasha hits a move, and does jumping jacks of her own, to cheers. Grapplingsmanship = Zero. Showmanship = Awesome.

It finally breaks in favor of Nikki, because Heel Beatdown. That lasts for a couple minutes, until Sasha fires up by dodging a corner charge and hitting her double-knee drop. Then, as Sasha keeps the showmanship going with some push-ups of her own, we break for...

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Back, and Sasha is in control with a double-noose thingie, suggesting that Sasha is actually the narrative heel. That's the only place she's the heel, though. I don't think WWE understand that if it isn't Brie, then the Bellas aren't even sniffing Tweener Status in front of a live wrestling audience.

Regardless, Nikki is now in the process of powering up. That meets with apathy and a "WE WANT LEZ NAR" chant. D'oh.

Builds up to a reset, with both women down, and the ref applying a double count. Nikki up to her feet, first, but a slight distraction by Naomi, and in a flash, Sasha hits the Backstabber, and floats over into Banks Statement.

Your Winner: Sasha Banks, via submission, in about 10 minutes. All credit to the women, who executed a fine match.... it's just that they did it without the benefit of adequate "production"/agentry, as the muddied narrative hurt them even more than the fact that it's now brushing up agaist 10:50pm, and the audience still hasn't seen Brock Lesnar. Lack of foresight, thy name is this segment.

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UNDERTAKER: HEEL, FOR NOW....

Finally, at exactly 10:59pm, the perpetually delightful Lilian Garcia introduces us to Paul Heyman, who is already standing in the ring. He says that tonight, it is his honor to act as the Host for tonight's Homecoming for Brock Lesnar.... Brock Lesnar, the man who won his first WWE CHampionship from the world's biggest box office movie star.... the man who won his UFC Champsionship from the world's most celebrated heavyweight.... and the man who won his NCAA Divsion 1 Wrestling Championship from....

THE UNIVERSIY OF MINNESOTA.

BRR-

ROCK

LESNAR.

The crowd loses it's collective shit, as Lesnar finally shows up, sporting yet another personalized Suplex City t-shirt for his hometown fans. With confetti flying, Lesnar is actually smiling (not shit-eating grinning, but SMILING) as he makes an extra lap of the ring to soak it all in. Good times; I mean, I figured there would be some level of "homecoming" to tonight, but I had no idea it would be this overwhelming. REALLY good times.

Just as the crowd seems to be chanting itself out, Heyman gets down on his knees and bows down to Lesnar, and that gets another big cheer that slows things down...

But then, Paul Heyman breaks into song:

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the coming of the Lord,
He conquered Undertaker's Streak
And I know that strikes a chord,
But now the Taker will retire
Not of his own accord,
The Conquerer Marches On....

Glory Glory Brock Lesnar
Glory Glory Brock Lesnar
Glory Glory Brock Lesnar
Brock Lesnar Marches On!

But before you can spend even one second reveling in Heyman's genius, the Undertaker's bell tolls. Twice. A third time.

But there is no Undertaker. Lesnar and Heyman go from worried to cocky when Taker no-shows..

Heyman: "That's the best you got, Taker? Some kind of Jedi Mind Tricks?" Heyman, embiggened by the lack of Taker, challenges the Undertaker to look high and low for help.... because he can bring the Lord Above and Satan Below to SummerSlam, and BRRRRRRRRRRock Lesnar will take all three of them to Suplex Sit. Tee. Bitch.

He continues on, dissing Taker for resorting to a low blow against Brock Lesnar, because it proves that Taker knows he's never beaten Brock Lesnar. It proves the Undertaker FEARS Brock Lesnar. Then he changes gears, and praises Taker for being in the best shape of his career, and Brock Lesnar has noticed that the Undertaker who showed up at Battleground could dominate any other man on the roster. But Brock Lesnar is not any other man. The Undertaker spent 18 months dedicating every waking moment to preparing for this one more match, and...

BONG.

This time, it's not a ruse. The lights go out, and when they come back on, the Undertaker is in the ring.

Taker and Lesnar circle, and then Taker just punts Lesnar in the balls. Just like at Battleground, except this time, he gets booed out of the building for it. Did Minneapolis just turn Taker heel? I ask, sincerely.

Taker follows up with a chokeslam and a Tombstone, both of which also get huge boos. Heyman has retreated to ringside, and Taker deathstares him for more boos.

Then, Taker's music hits and we get the standard light show that goes with it. Just -- for the first time in ages -- devoid of cheers. Final image is Taker standing tall and hitting the BikerTaker Salute on the stage, as we fade to black....

And so ends the show... to me, it ended really strong. Not just the Heyman bits, but also Taker going all-in on being the heel. It makes this into something that isn't a wrestling match, with good guy vs. bad guy. It makes it into a fight where you can just pick who you like more.

Sadly, this fails in wrestling a lot of times, because NEITHER guy has enough cred to make it work. On Sunday, we're gonna see two guys with surplusses of cred head to the ring to beat the shit out of each other, not caring about what the fans think, AND THAT IS WHY IT WILL BE AWESOME. Because no matter who you are cheering for, you're cheering for someone, and it's gonna be electric.

As badly as WWE fumbled the build-up to WM30, and the end of the streak, they've been spot on in managing this rematch, and making the most out of the end of the streak. Lesnar/Taker sells the PPV to the mainstream, and it gives ESPN the hook it needs to do College GameDay from Brooklyn, and everything....

And here I am, a plain old rasslin' fan, and I'm just as sold. Well done.

Cena/Rollins gets a nice bump from Cena's self-aware promo.

The women and the tag teams just can do no wrong at this point. Becky's shaping up as the sleeper of this whole Invasion/Revolution, and Sasha's making the most of her TV time, too. Oh, and seriously, how long are the New Day gonna get booed, at this point? My guess is: five more days, and not on Sunday. Sorry 'bout yer damned luck, PTPs....

I can't be the only one who got a kick out of the goofy little Stardust/Barrett skit, can I? Barrett went from "tacitly endorsing this nonsense" to "The Cosmic King" in one delightfuly 2 minute segment.

Ziggler's run-in wasn't exactly "surprising," but it was still well done enough that it counts as fresh and exciting. Everybody knew the SummerSlam match was happening, we just didn't know how. Now we know how, but we're still just kinda happy to see Dolph for the first time in 2 months. Also: there was Lana. And who doesn't like Lana?

Throw in the confirmation about Jon Stewart quarterbacking a 20 minute segment at SummerSlam, and I call tonight a job well done. I don't know if I really want to see SummerSlam MORE than I already did, but that's only because I already wanted to see it a LOT.

If I am to be fair, this was a pretty solid night of pro wrestling TV.... sadly, I can't really point to anything youtube-worthy, other than the final Heyman-y segment.... but tonight's analogy is this: RAW really put the medium low heat to my sautee pan tonight.

The resulting fried onions aren't really anything on their own, but assuming WWE brings the rest of the goods on Sunday, this is one damned fine Patty Melt we're building.

I'll call tonight a B-plus, but honestly, at this point, aren't we all just aching for this weekend? OO will have it's usual PPV coverage at 11pm on Sunday (with PPV discussions tarting on Saturday, in the OO Forums). It's up in the air whether discussion of NXT Brooklyn will be limited to the forums, or if I'll graduate it to a main page recap, but keep your eyes out, and I'll give a final schedule of events when I post Pyro's SD recap.

Till next weekend, be well, all....

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.