OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

OO RAW RECAP
Heyman, the Great
August 4, 2015

by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OOWrestling.com

I do sort of want to get my whole rant about Hulk Hogan and how WWE's decision to wipe him from history -- the same treatment they gave Benoit -- is the wrong way to handle things, now that I've got it all straight in my head, and I'm confident I can do it in a way that is sensitive to all involved.

But I've got a goddamned shoulder thing happening, and short of just going one-armed, there's no part of this that is comfortable for me. It hurts like hell for now, but it's something that popped up for the first time while I was in Texas (I attributed it to sleeping on my brother's crappy guest bed), and it only lasted a few days, so I'm assuming it'll go away pronto with rest and immobilization.

And then we can see if talking about Hogan still seems timely or worthwhile next Monday. For now, however, we use every last ounce of my pain threshhold to talk about this week's RAW:

Tribute to Rowdy Roddy Piper: with the entire roster assembled on the stage, the bell tolls ten times for the late, great Roddy Piper. Then, a music video plays, featuring many of Hot Rod's career highlights (including, much to my delight, "I come here to chew bubblegum, and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.").

Then, we do the usual opening Theme/Pyro/Etc., and we're live in San Jose, CA, the site of this past year's WrestleMania. So what better way to kick things off than with a visit from the man who won the WWE Title by cashing in MitB at same said WM...

ANYTHING JOHN CAN DO, SETH CAN DO BETTER

Seth Rollins hops in the ring, and starts off by bragging about how he busted John Cena's nose last Monday. But along those lines, Rollins wants to talk about what happened AFTER the nose busting... because that's when Rollins was exposed. Yep, it's true.

Seth Rollins is a sympathetic and compassionate man.

Because Rollins could tell how badly hurt Cena was. He had no business continuing the fight. Rollins was suggesting that they stop the fight, and pick it up again, another time. But Cena and the ref resisted his call for common sense.

And while Rollins was putting all his energy into saving Cena's career, Cena selfishly caught him with the STF. Rollins could totally have fought it, but the important thing was to end the match so Cena could get the necessary medical attention. So don't look at it as Seth Rollins losing a match.... cuz that was Seth Rollins performing a kind act, and after a night spent at the hospital, now Cena will live to fight another day.

With that in mind, Rollins has a very specific challenge for Cena... the way he sees it, nothing was settled in that first match, so the two of them should do it again. How about at SummerSlam, and how about making it Title for Title? Crowd likes it... of course, Cena's not here to accept, but I think we can take it as read that he will.

But that's 3 weeks from now... Rollins wants to do something to celebrate his return to the site of his WWE Title Win, so he'll take a page out of Cena's book, and hold a WWE Title Open Challenge. And he's issuing that open challenge RIGHT NOW.

By which he means, after these...

[ads]

WWE TITLE OPEN CHALLENGE

Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo Jr. has gotten up into the ring to ask the question we're all thinking: is this for real, Seth? Rollins confirms that yes, this is absolutely on the level, and the Authority OK'd it, and everything.

Oh, just two things: the challenger must be under 6-foot tall, and under 200 lbs. So Jo Jo just shakes her head and mutters, "So you're defending against El Torito. Great...." And Rollins is all, "I hadn't thought about it, but yeah, that's about right. El Torito, if you want some, come get some...."

Torito's music starts, but flicks off after about 5 seconds. It is replaced by Neville's. Hmmm, he's definitely under 6-foot, but isn't his billed weight over 200 lbs? Curiously, when Lilian does the boxing style ring intros, she gives Rollins the full one, but omits Neville's weight. Hmmmm...

SETH ROLLINS vs. NEVILLE (WWE Title Match)

Per standard format, Neville gets about 2 minutes of flashy offense, building to a big spot, in which he hits a corkscrew bodypress from the top rope to the floor. Rollins in a heap, Neville celebrates, as we break for...

[ads]

Back, and we rejoin the action with Rollins heading up to the top rope... but Neville catches him in mid-air with a kick, and then a sweet inverted Frankensteiner for a near fall. And the very first "This is Awesome" chants, too. So much for an extended Face in Peril bit, eh?

Neville with a low dropkick, and then the deadlift German suplex for another very convincing near fall.

Neville goes up top, but this time, Rollins counters by falling into the ropes. Neville jumps off the ropes, landing on his feet... but Rollins is a half step behind him, and when Neville turns around, he walks right into a vicious clothesline. But it only gets a two.

Rollins has finally had enough, and decides to finish it. He goes for the Pedigree... but Neville's not done, as he flips through and turns it into an ultra-close near fall that sends the crowd into a frenzy. A series of replays indicates that it was close, but yeah, only a two. But if they weren't already into it, the crowd is red hot and fully vested, now.

Rollins had the fear of god put into him by th close call, however, and when Neville pauses to argue with the ref, he just goes full-on stompy-stompy, and kicks the crap out of Neville for his impertinence. But then, he thinks it's wise to go up top, again.

Nope, not yer day, Seth. Neville gets a running start and pops up onto the top rope with Rollins, and then hits a top rope rana. Wow. And no time wasted on the follow-up: straight back to the top rope, and the Red Arrow hits.

But at the last second, Rollins gets his foot onto the bottom rope. For the second time, the fans absolutely bought the near fall, but it wound up only being a two. Neville starts arguing with the ref, again, but a "ONE MORE TIME" chant from the crowd forces him to refocus... perhaps an audible, perhaps not, Neville quits arguing, and heads up top....

And this time, Rollins rolls out of the way. Neville lands hard, and Rollins immediately scrapes him up and hits the Pedigree. Fin.

Your Winner: Seth Rollins, via pinfall, in 14 minutes. Very good match, and an absolute showcase for Neville... the heel beatdown was actually kept to a minimum, it felt like, and the real story was how many times Neville got THISCLOSE to pinning Rollins. Very entertaining. Anytime an underdog comes off THIS strong against a reigning champ, the callback is always to the old Triple H vs. TAKA Michinoku match... so I'll go ahead and pile on the scores of wankers making that reference. If the shoe fits, I say you head to the youtubes and try it on!

[ads]

LUCHA DRAGONS & LOS MATADORES (w/ El Torito) vs. THE NEW DAY & ASCENSION (w/ Eggsavier Woods)

Prime Time Players are on guest commentary again, for this rematch from SD.... the idea here is that there are no clear-cut #1 Contenders, so the PTPs are overseeing all these multi-way matches.

Kalisto starts against Kofi, and then the faces cycle through their entire roster, keeping it fast and flashy. But as soon as Kofi manages to tag in Big E, power takes over, and things slow down. When the legal Matadore is chucked out of the ring, the tide has fully turned, and we break for....

[ads]

Back, and Kofi's working over a Matadore. A few more tags by the heels keeps said Matadore in enemy territory for a bit. But about 2 minutes of that, the Matadore gets separation from Viktor. Hot tag to Sin Cara, Kofi back in on the corresppnding move. And then it just breaks down into a total Pier 10 Brawl (Woods and Torito both got involved).

In fact, when Kalisto (who blind tagged in on a tandem move, during the chaos) had to come to Torito's aid, he wound up in an altercation with Woods, allowing Kofi to catch him from behind with the Trouble in Paradise.

Your Winners: the New Day, via pinfall, in about 10 minutes. Not bad, but starting to wear a bit thin, since we've seen this, like, three times in the last week. But if the goal is to have the Dragons and the New Day come off as a notch above, thereby setting up a three-way tag title match at SummerSlam, I guess that's a noble goal, and it seems like that's where we're headed.

[ads]

CHARLOTTE & BECKY LYNCH (w/ Paige) vs. THE BELLA TWINS (w/ Alicia)

Forget "Team Paige," they are now the Submission Sorority. We'll see if it lasts, because it really sounds WAY too much like an adult video series that they hide back in the fetishy aisles where normal people are ashamed to tread. Well, normal people should be ashamed to tread into any physical adult video store at all, because the internet, but you get the point....

Becky and Brie to start, with Becky building up to the triple leg drops. Then, Charlotte in, and she continues the onslaught until Nikki manages a sneaky blind tag.... but the champ's advantage is short lived, and Charlotte settles in for a front facelock.

When Nikki worn down, Charlotte makes her first attempt at the Figure 8... but it's far too soon, and Nikki kicks Charlotte off, makes a tag to Brie, and the heel beatdown is on.

But only for about 90 seconds. Hot tag to Becky, and no corrresponding move to Nikki. Becky goes to town, cinching in the Disarmer... but Brie gets a rope break, and rolls outside. Becky tries to follow with a baseball slide, but she whiffs, and lands hard. Also, she is surrounded by all three of the Bella Empire, who ping pong her around until CHarlotte and Paige make it over.

It's a staredown as the ref tries to retain order, and we break for...

[ads]

Back, and you won't believe it, but Nikki's got Becky in a CHINLOCK~! Becky fights out, so Brie decides to come in and deliver a bit more dynamic offense (including a few homages to DBryan), leading up to the running knee strike for a near fall.

Becky manages to hit a huge clothesline to create separatin. Hot tag to Charlotte, Nikki in on the corresponding move. Back and forth breaks in Charlotte's favor; she gets the Figure 8 locked in... and Nikki has no choice but to tap out.

Your Winners: Charlotte and Becky Lynch, via submission, in 10 minutes. Charlotte's been able to beat Brie a few times, but now, she's made the champ tap out, too. #1 Contender Alert?

Backstage: Jo Jo approaches Team BAD (Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina), and asks what they think about the message just sent by the Submission Sorority. They are not impressed, as Sasha beat Paige last Monday, and so hey, why not keep that ball rolling: Naomi issues a challenge to Paige for a singles match later tonight.

And then, Naomi closes with some random bad-mouthing of Ronda Rousey, who was as impressive as ever in a 30-second KO win over the weekend.

[ads]

MIZ TV

Breaking character for a moment, Miz admits that he's only second best at this little gig, but everybody that's ever done one of these talk show segments has to admit that nobody ever did it any better than Piper's Pit. So he gives one honest and sincere shout-out, thanking Roddy Piper, before shifting gears...

And that means a second preface, this time, putting himself over as the next IC Champ, and someone who should already be the IC Champ, if only Ryback was standing behind some BS injury. Miz says Ryback should be a real man and forfeit his title, and if he doesn't, Miz might have to get his lawyers on the case.

But we'll sort that out later... tonight, Miz is here to sort out a different issue, between two guys who are almost as red hot as Miz. First, is Kevin Owens. Owens and Miz kiss each others' asses, which is just surreal, given how each finally made it to WWE.

Cesaro has had enough of the not-entirely-genuine mutual admiration, and comes on out before his planned introduction. Owens wastes no time painting a picture in which Cesaro is jealous of him, because Owens has done more in his first 3 months than Cesaro has done in 3 years. Cesaro comes over the top with a passionate rant about how he's not jealous of Owens.... he's disappointed in him, for walking away from fights and being an embarassment not just to himself, but to each and every guy who takes this business seriously.

It amounts to a challenge, and Owens seems ready to accept, and Miz even chimes in "Yeah, thanks what I'm talking about. That's MizTV for you!" And Owens turns to Miz and tells him to shut up and let the real men who fight settle this. Ahhhh, the truth comes out!.

But just when you think we're getting Owens/Cesaro, think again? Because Owens says he fights when the prize and the time is right. And neither of those things are right, tonight. So he walks off, while Cesaro leads a "WALK, Owens, WALK" chant.

Miz tries to goad Owens back into the ring, but this only annoys Owens, so Owens shoves Miz. Miz crashes into Cesaro, and Cesaro takes offense.... so for a cheap pop, Cesaro kicks Miz's ass, while Owens makes like a tree, and leaves.

I would love to get just Cesaro vs. Owens.... but if this little tie-in to Miz is a way of roping those two into an IC Multi-Way (depending on how long Ryback is out), that might be even better.

[ads]

MARK HENRY vs. RUSEV (w/ Summer Rae)

In the not-so-distant past, this was a PPV-worthy feud. But now, Mark Henry goes months between random cameos on TV, and Rusev is in a significant storyline, awaiting Dolph Ziggler's return (he's off making a movie, with Kane).

So: we're all adults here. Let's not pretend this was something it wasn't.

Your Winner: Rusev, via pinfall, in under 2 minutes. Yes, pinfall. He used three superkicks to fell Henry. No Camel Clutch. Have we reached the point where Henry lacks the flexibility to sell it, or is this a shift towards potential multiple finishers?

Wyatt Freeze Frame: We join Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper in their backstage lair. Bray is holding a flower, saying how it appears so pretty. Until you take away the petals. One by one, he plucks the petals, and then, all that remains is a worthless weed. Bray's mission is still to expose Reigns as that weed, no matter how much WWE insists on prettying him up for the masses.

Harper chimes in with a few words about Ambrose. But then, things get awkward as Sheamus reports for duty to promise that he'll take care of Orton in tonight's six-man tag. Bray says he's always lived his life by the credo "The enemy of my enemy is my friend".... so, Wyatt concludes "Tonight, we're your friends, Sheamus." And then everybody has an uncomfortable chuckle.

I'm sure nothing comes of it, but it was a lot more in character than a straight forward rah rah promo about tonight's six man tag.

[ads]

ZACK RYDER vs. KING BARRETT

Consecutive squashes? Yikes.

Your Winner: King Barrett, via pinfall, in under 3 minutes. Nothing to see here....

[ads]

PAUL HEYMAN COULD TALK A VEGETARIAN INTO ORDERING THE PORTERHOUSE

Paul Heyman hits the ring, by himself, and says his client will be out here shortly, but first, just a few words. Specifically, he wants to remind us that the Undertaker is the one who picked this fight. With a combination of words and video clips, Heyman paints the Undertaker as a desperate Dead Man.... not the dominating force of nature who ruled over WWE for 25 years, but just another barroom fighter who saw a shot at Brock Lesnar, and took advantage by flat-out kicking Lesnar in the crotch.

Low blows, Undertaker? Why? Because, the Undertaker knows he can do nothing to beat, defeat, or unseat the Beast, and so, unable to think of anything else to try, the Undertaker becomes a LIT TIL BITCH. Heyman enunciated the Ts extra hard just to make sure we understand that he means it, and got an "Oooooooooohhhhhh" for it.

And with that, it's time to introduce the man who the Undertaker did not beat, will not beat, and cannot beat... Brock Lesnar, sporting another customized Suplex City for San Jose. Last time he was in this building, he was getting fired for attaching cameramen and the announce crew, the night after WrestleMania, so he's probably in an extra salty mood when you add in this whole deal with the Undertaker.

To that end, he tears apart the ring steps, and tosses the top section into the ring. Then, he stands atop them, to create an impressive visual while Heyman does what Heyman does best: "Ladies and gentlemen, the last time WWE sanctioned a match between my client and the Undertaker, the Undertaker left the stadium in an ambulance. He stayed in the hospital for a week. Some of you out there like to learn little secrets about the goings-on backstage, well, here's a scoop for you: earlier this year, the Undertaker called Vince McMahon, and BEGGED for a WrestleMania rematch against Brock Lesnar."

"And the Undertaker does not beg for anything from anybody."

Heyman let that sink in, before continuing that even Vince McMahon is not mercurial enough to have given in to Taker's demand. The last time, it was a week in the hospital. Next time, who knows? So to save Taker's image, perhaps even to save his life, Vince McMahon said "No" to the Taker/Lesnar rematch.

And that left Taker a desperate man, willing to do cheap things to pick a fight with Brock Lesnar. He got Brock Lesnar's attention the best way he knew how: he cost Brock Lesnar the WWE Title -- HIS WWE Title, the one he still has never lost -- by kicking Lesnar in the groin. Well, bravo, Undertaker, you've got Brock Lesnar's attention. And in so doing, you convinced WWE that this fight is happening, even if you have to have it in a parking lot, in a church, wherever, so they're going to let you have your match, afterall.

I resume direct quoting, as Heyman ramps up to his conclusion (and as Lesnar starts slowly breaking into the Lesnar Shuffle): "That brings us to Sunday Night, August 23, the Barclays' Center, Brooklyn, NY. It's SummerSlam 2015. For the first time ever, it's a Match TOO BIG for WrestleMania. It's not a rematch for the ages. It's not the rematch of the year, of the decade, or of the century. It is simply THE Rematch for Then, Now, and Forever. It's the rematch where my client, Brock Lesnar" -- Lesnar is now at Full Shuffle, by the way, with a shit-eating grin on his face -- "Hits the 'REPEAT' button on Eat, Sleep, Conquer, Repeat."

"Undertaker, I hereby absolutely, positively, 100% guarantee you, SIR, that you are going to SOO PLEX SIT TEE."

"And then, when all is said and done.... last time, you needed an ambulance, you needed a year to recover, but this time, you will need Last Rites." Heyman does the full "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit," but he took the time to memorize it in Latin, so it sounds extra awesome. "Then you will Rest in Pieces at the hands of my Client, YOUR Conqueror, the Beast Incarnate, BRRRRROOOCCCCCCKKKKK LESSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNAAARRRRRRRR."

That, my friends, is how you cut a promo. I mean, I didn't need any help wanting to see this match, but if you did, and Heyman didn't just deliver it for you, trust me, it's YOU who's doing something wrong.

[ads]

PAIGE (w/ Charlotte & Becky) vs. NAOMI (w/ Sasha Banks & Tamina)

Paige wins the early feeling out process, and gets the early advantage. Nothing fancy, but she's having a pretty easy time of it for the first 3 minutes or so. Then, Sasha gets up on the apron to cause a distraction, and Naomi's able to strike from behind, with an inverted armbar takedown.

Naomi uses her size and power to dominate Paige, eventually wrapping her around the ring post, and seeming to focus on the ribs and lower back for a bit. But no sooner did Naomi's offensive find a narrative than Paige put an end to it. Ducking a charge, Paige fired off a flurry of clotheslines to start her comeback.

Naomi countered Paige's first attempted PTO... and the second one. Paige hit a superkick, and the third time's the charm. The "Submission Sorority" strike again.

Your Winner: Paige, via submission, in 8 minutes. Got a bit sloppier than you would have expected (especially since Paige and Naomi have repetitions against each other) and I think Naomi would have benefited from more of a psychological focus to her beatdown of pPaige, rather than just trying to skate by on over-the-top heelish mannerisms and taunting. By we're still in such a better place for the women's division than we were three months ago, so maybe I shouldn't be kvetching.

Earlier Tonight (on an App Exclusive Segment): Stardust was interviewed about Neville's WWE Title Match, and he taunted Neville about pandering to the fans, and that's why he lost. So Stardust is so over Neville. And if Neville won't be his superhero, then who? He makes a bow-and-arrow gesture, and walks away.

Apparently, if you are a comic book person, you recognize this as a taunt towards Stephen Amell, who plays the Green Arrow, and just tweeted that he will show up at next week's RAW to confront Stardust. [The two had a brief altercation at a RAW in April, and have also been "feuding" on Twitter, so even though many have been hoping for Cody to get a "reboot" after Dusty's death, this is something that's been in the works for a while, and apparently, the Hollywood crossover has been deemed important enough to postpone any reboot.]

[ads]

Tribute Redux: they replay the Roddy Piper Tribute Video, then Cole makes a few personal comments, talking about how he was in his dorm room in Syracuse the day the first Piper's Pit aired, and it had a huge impact on him. JBL follows up saying he knew he made it in the biz when he finally appeared as a guest on a Piper's Pit. Saxton wisely kept his mouth mostly shut, rather than force a faux personal connection to Roddy. Instead, he shoots it to backstage...

Backstage: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are standing by, wearing Hot Rod t-shirts. Ambrose, in the spirit of things, kicks things off by telling Roman, "Just so you know, Big Man, I'm all outta bubblegum." And Roman's cool with that, cuz he's in kind of an ass kicking mood himself.

Then, much like Sheamus before him, Orton just awkwardly wanders into the frame, says something about how he'll take care of Sheamus, and walks away. It'd have been way funnier if Orton wandered in, claimed to have suffered a serious arm injury, and then showed off his new cast. But I guess that would have required Reigns to play the role of Paul Orndorff, and I don't remember Mr. #1derful having a single damned catchphrase that would have been riff-able here. Oh well...

[ads]

DEAN AMBROSE, ROMAN REIGNS, & RANDY ORTON vs. BRAY WYATT, LUKE HARPER, & SHEAMUS

Ring entrances take about 5 minutes for everyone, then the bell rings. The good guys win a Pier Sixer, ending with Ambrose taking out all the heels with a top-rope-to-the-floor Standing Elbow. And just like that, it's already time for....

[ads]

Back, and it's Reigns and Sheamus slobberknockering. Reigns is getting the better of it, and Sheamus eventually bails out of the ring. Reigns follows, but it's a sort of modified cat-and-mouse, as Sheamus just lures Reigns over to the other side of the ring, dives into the ring, and instantly reaches up to tag Bray Wyatt. Reigns has to back off and respect the fresh man, but then makes it quite clear by gesturing (Broadly) that he can't wait to get his hands on Bray.

So Bray just laughs at him, and tags in Harper, instead.

Reigns is miffed, but Harper just smiles and takes the fight to him. Harper goes for the Gator Roll Suplex, but Reigns counters out, and decides to tag in Ambrose. Harper gets the better of that, and NOW Wyatt opts to tag in, peppering Ambrose with right hands.

Wyatt tries setting up for a superplex. Ambrose headbutts out of it, and is gonna fly... but Harper comes over to create a distraction, and Wyatt sends Ambrose tumbling all the way down to the floor. And with that break in the action, I guess we still have one more set of....

[ads]

Back, and we catch Ambrose right in the middle of punching his way out of a chinlock. He succeeds in creating separation... but then Bray drops him with a stiff clothesline, and bring in Harper to continue the beatdown.

Ambrose dodges a charge to create some separation, but it's just a deek; Harper dives back in at the last second to prevent a tag. But this time, when Ambrose surprises him with the Rebound Clothesline, Harper's got nothing left... so as Ambrose stumbles to his corner, tagging in Orton, Harper tags in Bray.

Orton's on fire, until he lets himself get distracted by Sheamus... Orton goes over to punch Sheamus off the apron, and before you know it, it's a massive Pier Sixer.

Harper takes out Orton on a drive-by discus clothesline. Ambrose takes out Wyatt with a Standing Elbow. Harper takes out Ambrose with a Big Boot. Reigns takes out Harper with a Double Jump Clothesline

Orton and Wyatt are legal, and Wyatt's able to get a tag to Sheamus just as Orton crawls to tag in Reigns. Reigns dominates, sending Sheamus out over the top. He doubles up on his Leaping Apron Dropkick Thingie, hitting it normal on Sheamus, but then spotting Wyatt laid out over the announce table, so he did a modified version there.

Harper created a brief distraction. Reigns dumped him. Wyatt tries. Superman Punch to him. Superman Punch to Sheamus (the legal man), but Harper breaks it up. Ambrose in to counter that. He sends Harper out of the ring again. Wyatt goes for Sister Abigail on Ambrose, but Ambrose squirms out and finishes his suicide dive onto Harper. Both go flying onto and then over the announce table.

Back in the ring, Orton catches Wyatt with an RKO. Sheamus steps back, with plans to Brogue Kick Orton... but Orton's not the legal man, Reigns is. ANd Reigns intercepts Sheamus with a spear. One, two, and three.

Your Winners: Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Randy Orton, via pinfall, in about 18 minutes. Good stuff, starting pretty slow, but ending red hot... Reigns was the big beneficiary, too, as he started this match to a mixed reaction, but ended up with pretty raucous cheers when he was the big star of the closing sequence. I'll take that every time.

They work in a few quick shots to plug Paige appearing on Steve Austin's show on the WWE Network as soon as RAW ends. I know the original plan was for Hogan to be the guest, and all, but doesn't this just kind of send the message that plugged "Tough Enough" to an audience that has already it doesn't give a shit is more important to WWE than doing a special for Roddy Piper? I know that's the message *I* get, but I'm a fussy bitch sometimes.

Anyway, that fleeting plug ends, and we're back to watching Reigns, Ambrose, and Orton celebrate in the middle of the ring, having effectively nudged two SummerSlam stories forward, while wrapping it all up in a nice 18-minute package for us. Good times....

And so ends the show... I officially have NO idea who was in charge of quality control when they put Rusev/Henry and Barrett/Ryder out there back-to-back, because that was the night's major glaring black hole.

You had a 45 minute window that was Great Promo Segment (Owens/Cesaro/Miz), squash, squash, filler, Greater Promo Segment (Heyman). And doubling up on the squashes is, alone, a bad move, but going 45 minutes without at least gently suggesting that "Hey, here's a wrestling match that you should probably care about" is an even bigger issue, in terms of pacing.

But I guess the other way to look at it is: ignoring what order they were in, we got one amazing youtube-worthy match (Rollins/Neville), one amazing youtube-worthy promo (Heyman), one really good and entertaining promo (Owens/Cesaro/Miz), and one really good and entertaining match (6-man). Then most of everything else was decent. Except for two suckfest segments. Which just so happened to be back-to-back.

I think I'll lean towards the bigger picture, than nitpicking the one failure of QC. If nothing else, I have to type fewer words to justify my opinion this way, and honestly: owwww, my shoulder.

It's probably a B-plus, in a vacuum, but I'm gonna give a little tiny bit of extra credit, because they are pulling off some solid storytelling without all hands on deck (no Ryback, no Ziggler, no Taker, and no Cena), which is a handy skill to have, as those guys can feature more prominently as the 5-week build to SummerSlam continues. Final grade: A-minus.

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises

RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It

PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!

RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot

RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning

RAW RECAP: Say My Name

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again

RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?

PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!

RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes

RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over

RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening

RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000

PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown

RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch

SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day

RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits

RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB

SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo

RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone

PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012

RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts

SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome

RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?

RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power

RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge

PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella

RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto

RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?

RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs

RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted

RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?

SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!

RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang

RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.