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RAW: ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW
Safety in Numbers
February 5, 2013

by PyroFalkon
Master of the PyroFalkon Multimedia Empire, Incorporated
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on Twitter --/-- View Pyro's Videos on Youtube

 
It seems my budget is always on a knife’s edge… I’m waiting for this check or that check, trying to balance my expenses with new issues, and trying to turn a profit every month so I can keep some money in a savings account. I’m coming to the point where I can’t do it anymore… I’m sure many of you are in that boat.
 
I’m actually at the point where I may have to cancel my TV service entirely. I’ve downgraded it to the basic package, but I still taking a loss every month. I’m sick of needing to wait for my tax return to figure out what I need and don’t need. The way I figure it, if I drop DISH and subscribe to Hulu Plus, I come out 50 bucks ahead and can still keep up with the shows I give a damn about. However… if I have to make that choice, I may have to go into hiatus from Online Onslaught.
 


That’s not something I want to do. I’ve said it before, but I’ve been writing these All You Need To Know recaps since the Benoit Incident, way back in 2008 (not to mention the four years of Byte This! recaps prior to that). It’s still the most fun I’ve had writing, and it’s a challenge to attempt to be clever and witty twice a week without repeating myself a thousand times in the process. (Of course, some of you may beg to differ how “clever and witty” I actually am, and it’s cool; as long as My Rosa incessantly reads my columns, I’m happy!)

Unless I’m missing something, the big issue with dropping my TV service is that I’ll lose out on pay-per-views, and I won’t be able to catch WWE RAW or SmackDown fast enough to justify a recap. After all, Online Onslaught loses its “competitive edge” if it takes me a week to get the recaps out. Does anyone know how fast the shows are released on Hulu? Hell, if it’s same-day or next-day, I can make it work. (That’s not a rhetorical question: if you’re subscribed to Hulu Plus, please e-mail me at pyrofalkon@hotmail.com and let me know.) It would just suck that I’d no longer get to see WrestleMania or Royal Rumble, nor most sports games, as is my tradition.

Either way, given that WrestleMania is coming up soon, I’m not going to make any decisions until it’s past, and until after I see my tax return. But given that I need a new computer for my IGN work—and that’s going to take at least half, maybe more, of anything I get back from the government—something else will have to give, and I’ve trimmed my budget about as much as I can without overhauling my entire life. Fingers crossed that I can get a new day job or something soon so I won’t have to worry about it anymore.

All right, let’s get to RAW. You can trust Rick and I here at Online Onslaught, where we’ve had only half the power outages as the NFL since 2011!

Segment 1: We’re opening with CM Punk, who hauls ass down to Justin Roberts, steals his mic, and drags him into the ring. He intimidates Roberts to announce him as “The People’s Champion,” which doesn’t draw much love from the crowd.

Punk takes the mic and metaphorically kicks Roberts out of the ring, then draws some cheap heat by insulting everyone in the building for being lazy jerks who would never love anything as much as he loves the WWE Championship. He whines about being screwed out of the WWE Title at Royal Rumble, and complains that the title is being held by someone who doesn’t deserve it, someone who “doesn’t know what it means to be a champion.”

Making it worse, he’s taken heat for the video last week that supposedly proved that Punk and Paul Heyman were acting with The Shield, but hell, Punk himself wasn’t in the video. And beyond that, he totally believes Heyman’s insistence that it was someone else in the video. Punk insists that Vince must have doctored the video some way, either by hiring an actor or hiring someone to make a CGI rendering of Heyman. Therefore, he got what he deserved by Brock Lesnar.

More cheap heat, then a vague insult against The Rock before Punk again he insists he is the real champion. He says everyone will get what they deserve at the Elimination Chamber: Rock will get a loss, and Punk will get his title back.

And here comes Booker T, who completely flubs his line to start off, then says that Vickie Guerrero is letting him run the show tonight for some reason that’s unexplained. He says the fans will get to decide Punk’s fate tonight. See, Punk will have to face either Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, or Chris Jericho, and they’ll take a vote on it though their stupid WWE App. The fans in the arena fire up a “Y2J!” chant.

Punk thinks is a dumb idea since the fans are so stupid that they don’t have Smart Phones, but Booker T just hits his catchphrase and leaves.

Segment 2: Randy Orton cut a promo on WWE App during the commercial… which they then show on TV, which means anyone with the app just saw it twice. Lame, but short.

Segment 3 [Singles Match]: Ryback defeats Antonio Cesaro by pin. Meh. They made this one a competitive match, but the story was Cesaro kept doing chickenshit heel tactics, including two attempted escapes. Ryback wouldn’t play along and held momentum for the whole match, though Cesaro was able to get in a little offense now and then with opportunistic spots. Wasn’t enough; the match ended with the Shellshock.

Segment 4: Replay of Cena choosing the WWE Championship for his Royal Rumble right last week, and the subsequent beatdown from The Shield.

Segment 5: During the last commercial, it was Rey Mysterio’s turn to cut an interview with Matt Striker, which was played on the WWE App, which was replayed on TV. Ugh.

Segment 6: Replay of The Shield’s debut at Survivor Series. Can’t believe it’s been three months already.

Segment 7: John Cena is in the back with Vickie, who gives us some exposition that Cena is going to call out The Shield tonight. Cena then some exposition in the third-person that he’s so totally going to stop Shield, then runs off. That… was pointless.

Segment 8: Replay of the Trish Stratus video montage since she’s going to the Hall of Fame this year. If you want to review some of her best work, check out the front page of the OO Forums (but not while you’re at work!). [Ed. Note: whoops, I already changed it.]

Segment 9: It’s Chris Jericho this time who cuts the promo during the commercial. Hilariously, in the theoretically app-only interview, he asked you to go download the app. That’s like a guy at McDonald’s asking you if you want fries with that after giving you your fries.

Pre-Segment 10: Here comes Santino Marella. Glad to see him doing better! No mention of him being out; I have a feeling the casual fan hadn’t even noticed.

Oh, and Booker T is on commentary for this match for no reason. [Ed. Note: there was a reason... he revealed that Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio are officially entered into the Elimination Chamber Match, and he's still got his eye on a few other guys, including Jack Swagger. They could probably have done this in a backstage skit between Booker and Teddy, but it worked just as well doing it this way.]

Segment 10 [Singles Match]: Jack Swagger reverse-squashes Santino Marella by submission. Santino got in early offense, then ate a counter and pretty much immediately tapped out to the ankle lock.

By the way, according to Michael Cole, the ankle lock now has a proper name: Swagger is calling it the “Patriot Act.” If I may be so bold to Rick, Online Onslaught approves of the name. It’s a little cheesy, but it perfectly fits within Swagger’s idiom, especially him being a heel and all. Good times. [Ed. Note: I do, in fact, approve. Based on his "I'm disappointed in where this company is going" speech on SD, I'd love for this to be the first step in a "FOXNewsification" of Swagger, where he's WWE's equivalent of an out-of-touch nutjob conservative who longs for "traditional values." You'd have to keep the racism/homophobia/shitty-attitudes-towards-women PG-rated, but I bet you could have some fun with it. Just ask yourself "What would Stephen Colbert's favorite wrestler do?" and you have yourself a gimmick. Holding a death grudge against that job-stealing Mexican interloper, Alberto del Rio, practically writes itself.]

After the match, he got in Booker T’s face and bitched about something. We couldn’t really hear him, but we sort of gathered that he’s hoping that that match “impressed” Booker so Booker will add him to the Elimination Chamber match.

Pre-Segment 11: Cole and Jerry Lawler announce that the WWE App crashed due to the number of votes that flooded the servers, so they just tossed the poll up on the WWE.com website as well, completely defeating the point. Dumbasses. Lawler, naturally, drew a parallel from this situation to the Super Bowl. (Aside: on my first pass typing that sentence, I wrote that he paralleled it to the “Super Bowel.” That totally changes the mental images, doesn’t it?)

Segment 11 [Singles Match]: Alberto Del Rio defeats Cody Rhodes by submission. Decent match, nothing special. Too short to really tell a story, so there was a bunch of flailing and punching until ADR hit the Cross Arm Breaker off a counter.

Post-Segment 11: ADR grabs a mic and apologizes for being an in-character douchebag for the year or two since he debuted. He said that since Big Show was such a jerk, and he wasn’t going to take that bullying crap anymore. The fans opened his eyes to being a nice guy, and he appreciates us! ADR continues by cutting essentially an anti-bullying message, then promises he’s totally going to kick Show’s ass for what he’s done to Ricardo.

Then Big Show appears on the Titantron via satellite from his hotel room. Show plays the fake victim by saying that it’s super hard for him to control his rage, and he stayed away from ADR on SmackDown because he totally would have torn ADR apart. Sounds like the dude needs a visit from Dr. Shelby.

Show goes on that ADR stole the title, meaning he’s stealing his material from CM Punk. Show just wants a rematch for the World Heavyweight Title, and Booker T knows which hotel it is. He suggests that ADR should just sign a rematch contract, and Booker’s cronies will run it over to him, because fax machines don’t exist. Show finishes by insisting that ADR shouldn’t come to the hotel and look for him, because Show will totally beat him up.

ADR taunts and calls out Show, but Show’s music plays to put an end to that.

Cut Scene: Jerry Lawler announces that Chris Jericho won the poll.

Segment 12: Team Friendship is arguing in the back about who cost the team the tag team match against Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio at SmackDown. The takeaway is that DB doesn’t want Kane at ringside when DB has his singles match that, apparently, has something to do with whether DB will get into the SmackDown Elimination Chamber match.

Segment 13 [Singles Match]: Daniel Bryan defeats Rey Mysterio by submission. Seems to be the night of submissions. Kind of a “meh” match, but it’s still a bit short to be entertaining.

Innovative move early, as DB threw Rey off the north ropes. Rey tried to counter with that wacky Lucha twisting jump that’s supposed to transition to a victory roll, but DB caught him. DB had him in basically the Tombstone Piledriver position, then lifted him up like an upside-down powerbomb. As Rey hung there in the air, DB dropped to his back and put his knees up so Rey fell gut-first onto them. Sort of a modified powerbomb-to-gutbuster move. Pretty cool.

From there it was pretty standard. Rey played the de facto face and had the “comeback” spot, even so far as attempting the 619. DB caught him however, dragged him into the ring, and slapped on the No Lock. Rey couldn’t break out, so he tapped.

Post-Segment 13: Daniel Bryan celebrated… for about three seconds, at which point Mark Henry’s music fired up. The world’s strongest man is back!

And, uh… he’s already pretty damn sweaty, as usual. To be fair, he’s wearing a pretty neat T-shirt. I have this feeling Rick disagrees, but it’s kind of a neat design. It reads “Bent on destruction” on the front, and there’s a logo that’s the silhouette of a barbell with weights bent into a knot. Cute… looks like something that Tapout would design if their artists didn’t shoot up meth before picking up their pencils. It’s not something I would wear, but it’s not the criminally stupid designs WWE usually comes up with. [Ed. Note: two new t-shirts debut tonight, and you pick this one to talk about, instead of Cody's, which has nothing but a giant handlebar moustache on the front? FOR SHAME~!]

Anyway, Henry sweats his way to the ring to boos as DB craps himself. Then DB stupidly decides to attack. DB grabs him and flings him head first into the corner of the barricade, and he smacks it with the back of his neck. Ouch.

Henry gives him a cold look, then heads into the ring. He picks up Rey’s carcass, hits a running power slam, then drags him to the corner.

Sin Cara then comes down to try to make the save, and he comes off the top rope with a jumping rebound something-or-other. Henry catches him easily, then hits a World’s Strongest Slam.

Henry heads back over to the corner and starts to set something up, possibly a Vader Bomb. Rey recovers and tries to fight out, but Henry stops that and hits him with a World’s Strongest Slam. Finally, he drags Rey back to the corner again, and the third time’s a charm: indeed, it’s a Vader Bomb. Then he screams “This is what I do!” Okay, dude, ain’t no one arguing with you.

About my only fear here is that we’re going to eventually see a Ryback vs. Henry match that’s going to be one of the ugliest events possible, with both guys passing out from lack of cardio after their entrances. Then again, Henry looks a little more trim, like he’s lost some of the gut fat and toned up his core. He certainly moved smoother than he did the last time I saw him.

Segment 14: After commercial, DB catches up with Kane in the back and demands to know where he was when Henry came down to the ring. Kane reminds DB that he didn’t want him at ringside, and DB is all, “Since when do you listen to me? You owe me an apology!”

But Kane isn’t going to be dragged into this argument. He says that DB’s tone hurts his feelings, and there’s nothing stronger than their friendship. DB says what we’re all thinking: “Really?”

Kane’s all, “Hell no, I didn’t mean that!,” and walks off laughing.

Segment 15: Replay of Brock Lesnar’s return last week.

Segment 16: We get a view on the Titantron of Big Show, who is still in his hotel room and on the phone with Booker T. We infer from the conversation that ADR has indeed signed the contract, and he’s just waiting for the messenger to show up. There’s a knock on his door, so Show goes to answer it… is it ADR? Nope, just room service. Blathering ensues, and Show doesn’t tip him.

No other action or anything. Nice red herring there. I’m sure ADR will show up the next time, though. You know this kind of thing works in threes.

Segment 17 [Singles Match]: Sheamus defeats Kane by pin. Decent enough match, but nothing special. Kane had a nice counter to the 10 of Clubs, catching Sheamus’s arm on the fifth strike and turning it into a modified Stone Cold Stunner with an assist from the top rope. Good stuff.

Kane maintained momentum from that counter, and he seemed like he was going to pick up the win. But when he signaled for the chokeslam, that’s when Daniel Bryan came down. He jumped on the apron to bitch out Kane again for not being at ringside when Henry came down to make his presence known. Kane didn’t want this kind of distraction, so he wrapped his hand around DB’s throat. DB quickly retreated, but Sheamus turned around to eat a Brogue Kick. Pin and done.

Segment 18: It’s time for Miz TV, and Miz is already in the ring as we come back from commercial. Miz barely gets through the introduction when Paul Heyman comes down to totally keep his innocence intact.

Miz and Heyman argue, and it’s pretty awful. A small section of the fans start up a “Boring!” chant, and I totally agree with them. Absolutely nothing interesting is said.

Then Vickie comes down to the ring. She defends Heyman, that Heyman didn’t know Lesnar would return last week. It was all Vickie’s doing, who negotiated with him in secret, and she finally re-signed him. She did so hoping to impress Vince McMahon enough that he would promote her to permanent general manager. But she had no idea Lesnar would be a jerk, and she starts her crocodile tears on Heyman’s shoulder.

Miz isn’t buying any of this happy-crappy. He bluntly calls them liars and gives a series of long-winded insults to both of them, as he can’t wait until Vince recovers and fires them both.

That’s when Lesnar hits the ring, making Vickie and Heyman bail. Miz won’t back down, so he stays in the ring and locks eyes with big man. Miz makes the first push, and Lesnar responds by rather violently flinging him out of the ring. Lesnar tosses the furniture out of the ring, and Miz slides back in like an idiot. He gets in a few punches, but Lesnar overpowers him and hits him with an F5. Miz semi-landed on one of the overturned sofas, and he starts grabbing his arm afterwards. I hope that’s just selling and not an accidental injury from hitting the furniture.
 
[Ed. Note: babyface Miz is really terrible. From the moment the segment started, I was mostly just wishing we could skip to the inevitable end, so I could watch Miz get destroyed by Lesnar. I'm glad my instincts were right. I could go for Lesnar vs. Miz at the PPV (a warm-up match to showcase Lesnar before whatever Big Deal Match he has at WrestleMania), so I could watch 10 more minutes of Miz being decimated.]

Segment 19 [Singles Match]: Randy Orton defeats Wade Barrett by pin. Decent enough match I guess, but nothing overly special. Nothing to talk about here… the match ended with an RKO out of nowhere.

Segment 20: Hey, it’s a Fandango (a.k.a. Johnny Curtis) vignette! I was actually thinking about him fthe other day as I was coming home from work, wondering why we hadn’t seen any more of him! (This of course begs the question why I would be thinking of Johnny Curtis on my way home from work, and I honestly have no idea.) Except this time, he was being overly goofy, which makes me wonder if they changed their mind and converted him from a “serious” gimmick to one overly ridiculous. Stupid either way, but whatever… we’ll see if they ever bother to debut him.

Segment 21 [Singles Match]: CM Punk defeats Chris Jericho by pin. Really solid match… I daresay it was better than their WrestleMania outing! [Ed. Note: I agree, it was. I think because of the "freshness" of Jericho, not just in terms of this being his 2nd week back, but it being the first time in ages where he's solidly a babyface. That gave the match a little extra something.] Not exactly a pay-per-view main event quality, but certainly a pay-per-view undercard effort. Outstanding for a weekly show. We need a proper recap for this one…

The fans are extremely hot for this one. The fans started with a strong “Y2J!” chant, and then we started with the feeling out process. It was punchy-kicky-choppy, generally in Jericho’s favor, but then something kinda crazy happened… The “Y2J!” chants started up again, but this time everyone else started a “CM Punk!” counter-chant. It grew louder and wound up sounding like the entire area got behind it, with about 65/35 in favor of Jericho. That’s a surprising percentage to me; not the pro-Jericho percentage, but the pro-Punk percentage. The guy just can’t be a heel in a chunk of the fans’ minds. Myself included.

So Jericho maintains momentum for a bit, but the new “CM Punk!” chants must have invigorated our alternate People’s Champ, because Punk started the heel beatdown sequence. After a flurry and a failed pin, Punk slapped on a kneeling armbar. Then, to show that he’s so totally a fan of Jericho, Punk started screaming “Ask him! Ask him!” over and over again.

The hold is eventually broken, and Jericho manages to clothesline Punk over the top rope, followed up with a baseball slide. Punk staggers onto the apron, and Jericho goes for his trademark rebound dropkick off the corner, but Punk (again being a fan of his) scouts it and just smacks Jericho’s face against the top rope. This move takes Punk back to ringside, but Jericho is stunned inside the ring, giving Punk a chance to regroup… and for WWE to show us a few ads.

Back from that, and Punk is in control, continuing the heel beatdown. We settled into back-and-forth action, nothing noteworthy, but absolutely entertaining. Once Jericho got momentum back, we had a myriad signature counters. Jericho started it with a Lionsault attempt, but Punk his knees up to block it. Jericho saw this, adjust his arms mid-flip, and grabbed Punk’s legs. Jericho tried to turn him over for the Walls, but Punk reversed and kicked him to the corner. Punk tried to follow up with his signature running knee, but Jericho slipped away. Punk wound up seated on the top rope, and Jericho followed him up to go for a ten-punch combo. At eight, Jericho got bored and just hit a frankensteiner off the top rope, and he hit it clean. Well done… but not enough to keep Punk down during the pin attempt.

Jericho caught his breath and went for another Lionsault, but Punk was on his feet too fast. He forearmed Jericho in the back, then slipped his head between his legs to set him for up an Electric Chair. Jericho started to slip out, so Punk adjusted his grip to ready the GTS. Jericho slipped out of that, and quickly rolled him up. He rolled through his own pin attempt however so he could try the Walls again, but then Punk re-countered to make it a pin attempt with a leg-hooked inside cradle. Jericho reversed it into his own pin, but each attempt got only a two count.

As they both stood up, Punk ran at Jericho and got him with a twisting neckbreaker, effectively shutting off Jericho’s momentum. As they separated, Jericho found himself in the corner, and this time Punk cleanly hit his running jumping knee, following it up with a clothesline rather than a bulldog. Then Punk went to the top rope, absorbed some boos, and went for the Macho Man Elbow Drop. Took him too long: Jericho rolled out of the way, and Punk crashed and burned in the center of the ring. Jericho then went for the Lionsault and successfully hit it, but hurt his arm in the process. He went for the pin, but no joy.

Jericho continued to sell the arm, so he was the second one to his feet… and ate one of Punk’s sick roundhouse kicks. Punk went for the pin, it failed, but Punk followed up with the Anaconda Vise. Jericho went batty but finally got to the ropes to force a rope break. The fans fire up a “This is awesome!” chant, causing Punk to scream without a mic. He can barely be heard on the camera mics, but I think he said, “Oh, first it was ‘overrated!’ Sit down, marks!” I never heard an “Overrated” chant, so I’m not sure what Punk is screaming about, but it’s pretty amusing.

Punk’s blathering gave Jericho enough time to get to the apron and climb the ropes in the corner, but Punk quickly cut him off at the top rope. Punk pulled Jericho’s body away in the GTS position, but Jericho grabbed the leg during the attempt and reversed it into the Walls. Jericho, not one to let Punk steal his mid-match catchphrase, started screaming “Ask him!” as the fans went ballistic.

Punk managed to get to the ropes to break it, and it took Jericho a moment to gather himself. He started toward Punk, but Punk again went for GTS. He didn’t have the strength to follow through with it, so Jericho slipped out and went for the Walls again. He couldn’t turn him, and in the act of countering it, Jericho went flying face-first into the middle turnbuckle.

Punk had momentum from there. He flung Jericho shoulder-first into the opposite corner post, and as Jericho stumbled back from that, Punk hit the GTS clean. Jericho couldn’t kick out of the pin from there.

Segment 22: The next inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame is Bruno Sammartino. If the recent blathering by Superstar Billy Graham was accurate, I guess Sammartino was able to get past his aversion to being entered? [Ed. Note: Triple H gets a Nobel Peace Prize for brokering the deal. Bruno was able to bond a bit with an actual wrestler in a way he never would have if Vince McMahon, a promoter and Bruno's arch nemesis, was handling the negotiation.]

Segment 23: After commercials, Punk is in the halls, and Matt Striker arrives to congratulate him on an awesome match and ask him where his head is at. Punk says that he’s pissed at Rock that he’s walking around with the title when Punk so clearly has proven that it should be his, since he proves his “best in the world” status every week. And at Elimination Chamber, he’ll prove it again when he takes on Rock in the rematch.

Segment 24: Recap and highlight package of Rock/Punk from Royal Rumble.

Segment 25: Josh Mathews is in the back with John Cena and asks him why he would call out The Shield alone. Cena says a bunch of stupid crap, though it’s pretty intense.

Segment 26: Once again at the hotel, Show is talking on the phone… and once again, there’s a knock on the door. This time it’s Some Guy who delivers a manila envelope. He gives it Show and starts to say something, but Big Show stupidly shuts him up so he can read.

Show reads the contract, he’s satisfied, he signs it, gives it back, opens the door, and ADR pulls him out of the room to kick his ass… for two seconds. Show quickly takes control of the situation and bounces ADR’s head into every available wall, then slams him into a table that breaks under his weight.

Show just continues the assault and kicks him down a hallway, then breaks a leg off a different table, ready to use it as a club. But as Show readies it, ADR grabs a nearby fire extinguisher and sprays it in Show’s face. Show’s mostly blind… then sees nothing at all as ADR beans him with the fire extinguisher, knocking him out cold.

Just then, a nearby elevator arrives with a couple dudes who quickly run off. ADR gets in the elevator, hits an attempted bad ass catchphrase, then waits… because the elevator doors didn’t quite shut fast enough. Whoops. But it finally works, ADR leaves, and we’re done.

It would have been better if it hadn’t been completely predictable, but the action was pretty damn violent and intense, unlike their laughable car lot fight from SmackDown.

Segment 27: Back to the ring, and Brad Maddox is in the center of it with a look on his face that mirrors a kid who totaled Dad’s car and is trying to figure out how to avoid being caught. Maddox grabs a mic and admits that the video shown last week is legit. He says he gave Vince the footage, just to prove Heyman’s and Punk’s lies. And therefore, Maddox is certain he’s the hero of this story, and therefore, it’s going to be him, not Cena who will call out The Shield. That… doesn’t seem like a good idea.

Before I go on, I want to point out that there was a decent “Cena sucks!” chant going on during that last bit, and if I was Maddox, I would have jumped on it and said “Yes, Cena does suck, which is why I’m the hero!” or something.

Anyway, Maddox calls them, their music starts for like two seconds, and then Shield appears at the top. The music fades because Dean Ambrose has a mic, and he says that Maddox is no hero, he’s just a rat. Ambrose adds that they took Heyman’s money because “no one ever said justice is free.” Nice line.

Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns make some generic threats, and The Shield surrounds the ring. They enter together, and Maddox makes the first punches for some stupid reason. It isn’t long before he eats the triple powerbomb, and The Shield stands tall. Huh, that was silly.

Then John Cena’s music fires up, and Shield doesn’t look too worried. But… no Cena. Oh wait, there he is, entering from the top row. Oh, and here comes Ryback too. And Sheamus! Except some douchebag apparently charged Sheamus, and Sheamus had to quickly take him down on the steps and sidestep into the seats as a legit member of the security staff flattened him.

As Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback formed ranks at the corner of the barricade, The Shield did the only sensible thing they could: bail. They left the ring but rather than going through the south side and escaping through the pit, they decided to head up the ramp like idiots… where they were met by Brodus Clay, Team Friendship, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, and Santino Marella. Figuring three was better than six, they headed back to the ring.

Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback then hopped over the barricade and surrounded the ring. The Shield kept their backs together, and the faces entered at once. The fight was on, and the faces prevailed. No finishers, however… just a bunch of punches, and Shield eventually left and headed back up the stairs. So… really, nothing got accomplished.

Final Thoughts: A lot of filler, but less so than SmackDown, and the matches made up for it. I’m not saying the matches were all good, because they weren’t, but there weren’t any bad ones. Hell, they were all watchable, which is a high achievement in the Modern Era. And Jericho/Punk was freaking awesome, and is a should-watch affair.

I got nothing more, so I’mma take off tonight. Have a good week guys, and I’ll see you Saturday for the SmackDown recap.

Episode Grade: B-

 
E-MAIL PYROFALKON

BROWSE THE BYTE THIS RECAP ARCHIVES


  
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
 
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: 18 Seconds? NO! NO! NO!
 
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
 
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
 
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
 
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
 
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Backfired!
 
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
 
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Destiny Do-Over
 
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
 
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
 
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: In-BRO-pendence Day
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
 
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: #striketwo
 
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
 
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
 
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: You're Welcome
 
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Needs More Kane?
 
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Lady Power
 
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
 
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
 
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
 
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
 
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
 
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
 
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: No! No! No!
 
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
 
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
 
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28

 

 

 


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