The way it was explained to me, the original way was “computer guy who knows something about business,” and the new way is “businessman who knows something about computers,” which is just subtle enough of a difference to affect possibly career opportunities.

Now, I’m having regret in general, and wondering if I should have gotten a Communications degree (which is pretty much the only other option) for my bachelors. The more classes I take in Business, the more I hate it. I’m forgetting all the math pretty much the moment my final ends, and I’m getting more and more frustrated dealing with it.

My question is: is the difference between any of the three potential degrees actually significant enough for me to care? I know that a degree from Phoenix is automatically valued less than a degree from a brick-and-mortar college and is pretty much on the same level as a community college degree, so that’s not the question. The question is, would I have had more opportunities, in general, with a Communications degree? Or an IT degree? Or should I just stick with Business?

The question is purely academic. I’m only nine months away from graduating, and I don’t have the money to switch up my major at this point. Still, it will be something to think about if I wind up pursuing a masters or a second bachelors at some point down the road, you know? I’m just hoping to know a bit more about what that road is paved with and whether my major choice has anything to do with the potholes or lack thereof.

I appreciate any advice you may be able to provide, and I promise to have a Netflix update on my Friday recap of SmackDown this week. For now though, we turn to RAW.

Segment 1: JeriShow is out here to start tonight’s proceedings. And hey, the guest host tonight is Verne Troyer, aka Mini-Me from Austin Powers (a trilogy I still haven’t seen yet). Guess I know why they’re doing the retarded “Little People’s Court” involving Degeneration X tonight, eh?

Meh, that’s later. Now, it’s JeriShow, who get to the ring presently. Jericho starts by saying that they talked privately, and need drop some truth on us concerning DX. Via a slideshow for visual aids, Jericho goes on that JeriShow is so totally the best tag team ever, as they’ve beaten a bunch of teams including the Brothers of Destruction. Also they got the unified tag titles on their first night of existence and, oh, by the way, DX has been together for a decade and never won the title.

Show takes over the mic and goes on that they might have their kickass merchandise, but these two are much better in the ring. Also, the two have the 42+ titles between them, and Show himself is the only man to ever hold WWE, WCW, and ECW world titles. Jericho hits his declaration: we can’t be beat!

A few more points go on: these two are awesome anyway and TLC matches will just make them even better. Further, DX has never been in a TLC match, so their lack of experience will kill them too.

DX comes down at that point, and Trips starts to talk first. Trips counters that though they’ve never been tag champs, it doesn’t matter; that though JeriShow is currently the tag champs, they’re irrelevant. Conversely, DX has amassed an army… of fans… who believe in DX. Really? Oh, wait: they believe not because of the jokes and merchandise, but because when life gives you lemons you make Gatorade, or something.

Trips reminds us that the best part of them beating JeriShow at the PPV, Jericho will be relegated back to SmackDown only, which will save all us RAW fans from dealing with his Thesaurus of Justice. This prompts the idiotic crowd to sing the “goodbye” song. Dumbasses.

They blather some more, and Trips finally just challenges Jericho to a match. He accepts with the condition that the loser of the match takes on the opposing team in a handicap match next week. Trips is fine with that, and Jericho ends it with “I’ve got four words for you: I’m never leaving RAW.”

Pre-Segment 2: MELLLIIINNNAAA!!! …AND GAIL KIM!!! Ah… I’m going to dream well tonight…

Uh… and then there is some sort of odd technical snafu that makes them poof away from my screen for a couple seconds. When it cuts back, we see Josh Mathews interviewing Maryse, who proves that while her accent is hot, it only really matters when she has something not-boring to say. Jillian is beside her, assaults our ears, and the heels leave.

And then the camera cuts back to the ring, where evidently our faces heard it. My Melina is probably sarcastically mouthing the words “WOW!!!” to Gail, but I’m imagining a whole other action associated with that particular movement. Really, they just need to start making out so I have the best sticky dreams for a week.

Segment 2 [Tag Match]: Maryse & Jillian defeat My Melina & Gail Kim by pin. It was short, too short, but pound-for-pound one of the smoothest damned divas matches in a long while. This was, of course, mostly thanks to Gail Kim. We know my obsession with Melina and all, but Gail is in a whole other league inside the ring, above and beyond the other divas.

A nice spot with her saw Melina (legal) whip Jillian (illegal) into the corner, when Gail came out of nowhere and did a running jumping clothesline. Very nice and stiff.

Match ended when Maryse flung Melina into the corner. Maryse tried a follow-up charge, but Melina hopped up and sat on Maryse’s shoulders and back. Melina fired off her Screaming Orgasm, then went for the Pyro’s Fantasy, but Maryse grabbed the ropes to block the move and send Melina crashing into the canvas. Maryse followed up by doing her spike DDT, and made the pin in front of Gail, who is too nice to actually bend the rule to break it. Jerk. Hot jerk, of course, but still.

Segment 3: Here comes Sheamus for a match, looking a little less pale than normal, and the crowd doesn’t give a shit. Good for them.

As he makes his entrance, the announcers say: “And remember, at TLC, Sheamus doesn’t have to pin John Cena! He doesn’t have to make him submit! All he has to do is put him through a table, and he proved he could do just that last week!” Why do I mention this? Because the very first thing Sheamus says is almost verbatim what the announcers just said. That’s just sloppy, man… I mean, for the live audience, fine. But for us watching at home, it makes it look like the guys are reading the same lines off the same script.

Here comes Santino, who wonders why Sheamus is so obsessed with Cena, since all Sheamus talked about was talk about Superwigger. “You must be jel-e-ous of me, because I actually have skin pigmentation.” Bwa ha ha ha!

Santino then starts to accuse Sheamus of just looking over him and underestimating him. Santino says that he’s a two-time IC champion, while Sheamus has nothing and will still have nothing after the PPV. Sheamus punches Santino in the face, then proceeds to kick the shit out of him. So, uh, no contest on the match, there.

Sheamus hits the Celtic Cross to end the assault, then… oh wait, he’s not done. He pulls a table out from under the ring and leans it against the corner. The crowd fires up a “Cena! Cena!” chant, but it’s not to be: Sheamus just basically uses Santino’s back as a battering ram against the table, leaving our favorite Italian limp and unconscious.

Segment 4: JeriShow are WALKING~! when they run into Verne Troyer, who literally is as tall as Show’s knee. Troyer is talking on a cell, and Show shakes his hand. Jericho then wants to talk to him, but Troyer ignores him. Jericho whines that he’s yet another guest host who ignores and disrespects him. Jericho tries one more time, is ignored, and leaves. Show again wants to shake his hand, and Troyer is fine with doing so. Poor Jericho.

Segment 5: After a commercial break, Troyer is sitting on a stool on the stage. Trayor starts that he just had to guest host RAW after seeing Seth Green do it. Further, when he was at SummerSlam, everyone was really nice and cool to him… except one person, who was rude and obnoxious. The crowd starts screaming that it was Jericho, of course… but Troyer says it was the Miz!

And that summons Miz, which annoys Troyer. Miz of course makes fun of Troyer’s height, quotes a line from Austin Powers, and says that he’ll call him Mini-Miz. Troyer: “Yeah, like I haven’t heard all that a hundred times. I could imitate you too, but, uh, you haven’t done any movies.” BURN! “And I’m surprised by that, because didn’t they film two Jackasses?” SECOND BURN!

Miz gets upset at this point, and threatens to “use those two ring posts as uprights, and you as a football, and kicking you right through ‘em.” And that brings Mark Henry out, who gestures (Broadly) that if Miz wants to kick Troyer, he’s got to go through him. Miz: “Oh, way to go, Verne. You got the help of the World’s Blandest Man, Fat Bastard!” Seriously, I’ve crossed the line from being annoyed as shit at Miz to being one of his fans.

Anyway, Miz calls Mark Henry boring, which is pretty much the smartest and most true thing any wrestler has said about anything ever. Troyer has had enough of this stupid talk, so he books the obvious match, and that ends the segment.

Pre-Segment 6: As Kofi Kingston hits the ring for his very first one-on-one match against Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes comes out of nowhere and kicks his ass, then flings him into the corner steps and leaves.

Kofi crawls into the ring and, though panting, tells referee John Cone—formerly “Referee McDoucher” but has improved his in-ring reffing abilities so much that I’m officially dropping the moniker (as if anyone cares)—that he still wants the match.

Orton’s music fires up, and Ted DiBiase appears from the crowd and chop blocks Kofi’s leg. A few more strikes against that left leg, and finally a few other refs come down to break it up. Kofi still wants the match, and Orton himself finally gets his ass to the ring. Cowardly jerk.

Segment 6 [Singles Match]: Randy Orton squashes Kofi Kingston by pin. Amazing: a squash I’ll actually recap! Kofi had a hope spot 90% of the way through the match, though it was comprises of just a few punches. Orton stopped that with a kick to the INJURED~! left leg, then hit an RKO out of nowhere, and it was over.

What’s amazing to me is that, in this specific context, Orton’s simplistic and slow-paced offense actually made perfect sense to his character the situation. He just was fucking with Kofi and wanted to make the pain last as long as possible. It worked perfectly. This, indeed, is a cold day in hell.

After the match, Orton put Kofi on the top rope… then pulled him so his feet were hooked on the top rope… then gave him the super spike DDT, which looked painful as shit, especially since Kofi just kinda flopped like he took a fall in a Family Guy episode. Geez…

Randy Orton, entertaining. Clearly, pigs are flying all over the United States.

Segment 7: MVP and Troyer are playing WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2010 (no doubt after reading my strategy guide on IGN Entertainment), when Mark Henry comes in. Stupidness abounds, even including Jillian, who wants to sing a Beyonce song. Mark then tries to dance to it, and winds up falling down and squishing Jillian. MVP and Mark run away. Troyer says, “I think she’s dead,” which gets a huge laugh from the crowd for god knows what reason. That whole thing was a waste of time.

Segment 8: And here comes John Cena. He’s got his hyper-intensity dial up to… uh… well, I guess 9. He says, among other silliness, that if he needs that automatic rematch clause, he’s going to use it at the TLC PPV. Cena then turns his hyper-intensity dial up to 14 as usual, and declares that tonight, we’re going to have Cena vs. Sheamus for the title. Uh… okay?

Here comes… Carlito? Clean-shaven too; man, he looks funny. Carlito gets in the ring and says that while he doesn’t know Sheamus, he does like what he stands for. He, along with tons of other superstars on all three brands, are sick of Cena and want to see someone else have the actual spotlight. “You may represent the people, but Sheamus represents us. He will do what we all want to do, and that’s put you through a table and become the new WWE Champion.” Holy shit, that’s how to do intensity. When the fuck did Carlito become awesome at promos?

Cena talks hyper-seriously—a much preferred alternative to his hyper-intensity—and says that Carlito picked the wrong man and wrong night to fuck with. So if Carlito really has a problem with the shirts and hats and taunts, let’s see you do something about it.

Carlito is then dumb enough to take a bite of apple rather than actually attack, so Cena then throws a punch. He hits an FU, then chucks Carlito out of the ring, to about 50/50 cheers/boos.

Sheamus then pops out of the back. Cena hits his “Come get some” catchphrase, and Sheamus… delays… delays… delays… retreats.

You know, I’ve got to say that Carlito is the winner in that. Why don’t we see Carlito get pushed? While he was cutting his promo, the fans pretty much turned him. I mean, they booed the shit out of him when he first came down, but every word he spoke got him more and more cheers. Viva rebellious crowds!

Segment 9: Troyer is back out on the stage to introduce MVP and Mark Henry, I don’t know why. Crowd doesn’t either, and pretty much don’t give a shit. Am I the only one who had a quick daydream of Mark Henry’s side-fat bumping into Troyer’s stool and sending him crashing to the stage steel?

MVP talks, and introduces us that Mark Henry is going to rap or something. MVP tries to hype the crowd, but it just doesn’t work. There’s a half-hearted section of cheering, and a much larger group booing the shit out of this. They pan the crowd a little, and show that the majority of fans are sitting with their arms crossed; the ones who are actually clapping along to the beat of this “music” have the average age and/or IQ of 12. The crux, verbatim (seriously, VERBATIM):

Mark Henry: “Lemme hear ya say woah-oh!”

Four random douchebags: “Woah-oh!”

Mark Henry: “Yeah, lemme hear ya say woah-oh!”

Crickets: *chirp*

Mark Henry: “Somebody! Anybody!”

MVP: “Yeah, anybody!”

…And this is so sad that at this point, the WWE Truck Monkey just surrender and fade out to commercial in the middle of it. I believe Baltimore Law now states that all the live fans are entitled to give one (1) kidney stabbing to every member of WWE’s front office who thought this was a good enough idea to actually greenlight. And I get to give two (2) kidney stabbings and one (1) testicle stomp to the writer specifically who thought it up since I have to recap this shit.

Segment 10 [Singles Match]: Mark Henry defeats Miz by pin. Match was basically a squash, and was lame as fuck. Match ended when Miz went for a top rope flying crossbody, but MH caught him and did the World’s Gayest Slam.

After the match, MH goes up to Troyer. Troyer says we totally need to celebrate with the divas, four of whom come out presently: the Bella Twins, Eve, and someone I don’t know. They “dance,” and one of the Bella’s tops keeps falling down off her boobs, which she keeps needing to adjust. Why can’t that be Melina?

Oh, right, because she’s unconscious. Stupid Maryse and her spike DDT.

Segment 11: DX is talking in the back, discussing little people’s court. Specifically, that it was all a dream and totally wasn’t real. Okay, stupid retcon there, but whatever; that’s better than absolutely any possible way it could have turned out otherwise. Anyway, Hornswoggle comes in and, thanks to subtitles, threatens to further his legal actions. Shawn magically knows how to speak Leprechaun this week, tells Horny that his case is weak, and DX leaves.

Troyer appears and says that Horny really should just sue the shit out of DX. Why he says this, god only knows, unless we’re really expected to believe Troyer has been closely following the storyline. He and Horny bump fists, and I die a little inside.

Segment 12 [Singles Match]: Triple H defeats Chris Jericho by pin. Awesome match, though a bit short. GREAT chemistry between Trips and Jericho, and a good dramatic finish.

Shawn came down early for guest commentary, and Show followed suit moments later. Their commentary was fantastic, and helped feed story into the match in particular and the feud in general. (Well, other than Show’s declaration that he “can’t wait to make Shawn Michaels eat wood,” clearly showing that my sense of humor hasn’t entirely grown up since middle school.)

After some triple reversey stuff that had Jericho barely avoid a win, Show stood up from the commentating table. Shawn did so as well and got in Show’s face, so Show shoved him, making Shawn slam head-first into the apron. The ref saw this and went to check on him; behind his back, Show managed to hit a Knockout Punch on Trips.

The ref turned around, but not in time. However, he realized that something was rotten in Denmark, so he ejected Show from the ring. While the ref was busy with that, Shawn got in the ring and gave some Sweet Chin Music to Jericho. Shawn exited the ring, but the ref saw him on the apron. Again, the ref didn’t see any direct problem, but was suspicious, so he ejected Shawn as well.

That left Trips and Jericho, both down. The ref started the 10-count, and got to 9, but both guys got up. The ending sequence was awesome: Jericho tries a Codebreaker, Trips blocks and starts a Pedigree, Jericho blocks and trips him and goes for the Walls, Trips twists and kicks Jericho into the corner, Jericho halts and starts to back up, Trips grabs his tights and rolls him up clean for the pin. It was very, very silky smooth… just amazing. Wow.

Oh, and now Jericho has to take on DX in a handicap match next week. Whoops.

Final Thoughts: The main event, and everything connected to its story, was awesome. Carlito was unexpectedly awesome. Kofi/Orton was awesome. The divas feud did what it needed to do and was entertaining.

Everything else? Pure, unadulterated crap. In giving the 5-point scale, Rick said that a 1.0 indicates that WWE seems like it’s trying to annoy us with what was going on. Well, between all the Mark Henry nonsense, Sheamus acting totally outside his established character with Cena, and the myriad of filler I haven’t bothered recapping about, we have come to this…

Rating (out of 5): 1.7