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CRZ RAW RECAP
The Real Surprise was Hogan vs. Flair!
May 15, 2002

by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
SlashWrestling.com/OnlineOnslaught.com

 

I GET LETTERS: Gav shares the knowledge: I thought you might be interested to know that the word that William Regal used that you couldn't make out was "Shite-Orc". Being English myself, I was completely shocked by your inablilty to recognise this word, as I have never heard it before in my life either and I live here!!! Although it is quite a good word to call your mates. Incidentally, I was very disapointed last night as I watched Raw because I was looking forward to seeing Hogan stall the bike, but low and behold, he started the bike and ping! a wormhole in time opened up and transported me about a minute into the future. Or (more realisticly), the WWF edited it. Boo!

KINGS UPDATE: The Mavericks are down in five! I don't know how good the series was for the heart, but at least tonight's game wasn't ever really in doubt and it's nice that they could clinch it at home. Up next: the Spurs! Ha ha, unlikely... however, I DO think it's time to take my reports even uglier in support of Sacramento...

TONIGHT: Believe it or not, Judgment Day is Sunday! Here's a graphic of Hogan and Taker! Tonight, Flair and Austin will make noise and no matches are announced but Ross is sure you'll be here!

T(O)N(I)G(HT): How DID they manage to squeeze FOUR HOURS of piano playing in a sixty minute show?

QUICK QUOTE: WWF 14.95 (+ .23, last year: 13.82, two years ago: 17 1/2)

TV-14-DLV - CC - Attitude - Entertainment - WW

This clip of last week's show is brought to you by Carmena Burina - whoever SHE is

Opening Credits

EH? Coming to you LIVE from the Centre Air Canada in Toronto, ON 13.5.2, this is the WWe - transmitido en espanol on TSN and THE NEW TNN - 17,732 in the house and you and I on the TV screen - it's RRRRRRRRRRRRAW!

BROCK LESNAR (Minneapolis, Minnesota - 295 pounds - with Paul Heyman...and clips of Lesnar destroying the Hardys) v. HARDY BOYS (Cameron, North Carolina - 441 pounds)
referee: CHARLES ROBINSON
The Hardys circle the ring until Brock turns his back to one - in this case, Jeff - and the sneak attack is on - right, right, oops Lesnar just barrelled him into the corner - three shoulders in the gut - into the ropes, Hardy ducks, dropkick to the ...nuts? Guess Jeff was aiming for the knee, as now he's kicking the back of it - off the ropes with a flying jalapeno - off the ropes...into a Lesnar powerslam. "Cold beer" chant. Scoop...Hardy back to his feet - another low dropkick. Tag to Matt - top rope tomahawk chop! Right, right, knee by Lesnar. Hardy put in the corner - Hardy ducks out - right - leg draped over the second rope, kick, kick - so Lesnar kicks him away with his good leg. Matt runs back on him - but Lesnar gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. Make it two, and Matt ain't getting up. Kick, kick. Hardy put into the corner and he hits hard. Lesnar stalking. Forearm in the back. Rake of the face along the top rope. Hardy manages a headbutt to the gut - another- right, kicks the knee - good knee by Lesnar. Scooped up on the shoulder - Hardy slips the Snake Eyes attempt and runs him into the corner sternum first. Tag to Jeff! Duck, right, right, right, right, duck, sitout jawbreaker botched once, botched twice, Jeff finally goes down and Lesnar approaches making sense of selling it. Matt rejoins Jeff - Lesnar put into the corner - Poetry in Motion - opposite corner whip - double flapjack out - both men going to opposite corners - splash/legdrop combo - Jeff covers and hooks the leg - 1, 2, Heyman pulls Robinson out - so he calls for the bell and erases the zero in Lesnar's undefeated record! (DQ 3:28) Lesnar ain't happy, working over Jeff a bit - but before he can put him on the top rope to give him some more damage, Matt is back in with an uppernut - Twist of Fate - sentonbomb. "What? Cut the freaking music! Stop the music! Stop the music! No no no no - no no no! You're gonna get your hand raised that way? As the agent for the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar, I challenge you to a rematch - a handicap match - the two of you against the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar at Judgment Day." The Hardyz remove their shirts! "Wait a minute - I got one better - I got one better - I'm gonna negotiate against myself. Team Xtreme - oh, the great tag team - the Hardy Boyz - you wanna be tag - shaddup - you wanna be tag team specialists? I challenge you at Judgment Day to fight the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar...and his tag team partner...ME! ME! ME! You're on! You're on!" Wow, Heyman's a real idiot - I bet he wears Cornette's body suit from his Jose Lothario match.

In the NWO locker room, X-Pac wants to know what the deal is. "He's my friend!" Flair says what's goin' on is the start of a new era. Ric Flair is runnin' things from now on. Flair says there's no room for failure in this unit (ha) - and given Hall's repeated dropping of the ball and failure to take care of Austin, he had no choice but to fire him. As for Nash - well, we all know he's really not suspended...he's recovering from bicep surgery. In the meantime, the NWO needs a new member, and tonight Flair's gonna announce it - it's a big secret to everyone but Flair - "it's such a secret that even HE doesn't know he's gonna be the next member of the NWO. A new era! We're gonna walk out that door, Big Show, you and I, and we're gonna launch it - big time!" 'Pac watches them leave with a shit eatin' grin on his face. Of course, none of this makes sense unless you're factoring in all that behind-the-scenes stuff they SEEM to be desperately trying to avoid....but, you're not supposed to....but...but.....oh well.

Well, time to kiss another hedge goodbye

Surely enough, RIC FLAIR is out with WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW right behind him. Who had sixteen minutes in the "Jim Ross mistakenly says 'WWF' pool?" Here's Flair. "Is there a problem? Are we all in agreement that my name is Ric Flair? And that if you know anything about this business and my name, you have to respect it. Sixteen times...SIXTEEN TIMES the World Heavyweight Champion! That would make me about fifteen times better than the Toronto Maple Leafs! And unlike...AND UN-LIKE..." Crowd won't let him go on. Flair SHOULD go on anyway - but he's not. "And unlike the Maple Leafs, I don't have to deal with any Tie Domi - I got me a REAL enforcer! One more thing - I OWN one half of the WWE! It's called the RAW brand and I'm the owner! If you haven't figured it out, that makes me a very, very powerful man. ["Asshole!"] They're talkin' aboutcher mother, sweetheart. Now - clearly there's a problem between mahself and Stone Cold Steve Austin. I drafted Austin in all good faith, but what does he do? He stuns me! The same night! I tried to be his friend - I tried to tell him I LIKE him - I tried to give him carte blanche at RAW - and what does he do? He screws with me. So, I think Stone Cold Steve Austin, just like all of you, is trash. I think it goes like this, to hell with Stone Cold, to hell with you, and to hell with the Maple Leafs. All in the same order." Ahahahahahahaha "Now....now....now....now. For the first time - for the first time since I've been back, now I can symphatize with what Vince McMahon went through - because as an owner, trying to deal with that son of a bitch Austin is a pain in the ass. So I handled it just the way I could - and Austin, you're on the outside lookin' in - you just plain are outta luck! Now at Judgment Day - at Judgment Day, Austin - you should have gotten on your knees, kissed my ass and been my best friend, because now you got a real-life giant, and the Nature Boy Ric Flair to deal with! And I promise you, Austin, you will bleed, sweat and pay the price...of a wrestling lifetime, all in one night. Now, last but not least, some people say power has gone to my head - I'll show you power. Right here tonight, on RAW, there's gonna be a WWE Undisputed World title match. But not like WrestleMania - it's gonna be REAL legend against legend - it's gonna be the champion, Hulk Hogan....right here In This Very Ring against THE NATCHA BOY! WOOOO! Ric Flair." Play his music! That was the whole segment!

Geez, it's like they weren't ready - big black screen before finally running

Lita shills Stacker 2

Catch the WWe live tomorrow in Montreal, Saturday in Macon, Sunday in Nashville for Judgment Day, Monday in Birmingham and Tuesday in Tupelo!

It's raining outside - but here's the arena anyway. During the break, we are told that Flair forgot to mention the title match is "no DQ"

Moments Ago, Hulk Hogan drove up on his bike - oh no, I hope the Undertaker doesn't steal it!

SHAWN STASIAK (Planet Stasiak - 261 pounds - with Earlier Today)

Earlier Today, Stasiak talked to himself - Eddie walked by, said "ese," "vato" and intimated that perhaps there was a lotta WEED on his planet. "Are you insinuating that Planet Stasiak functions under an altered state of reality?" "Well, ese, you DO look like you're ON something." These jokes write themselves! Somehow they set up this match.

SHAWN STASIAK v. EDDIE GUERRERO (intercontinental champion - El Paso, Tejas - 228 pounds) in a nontitle match
referee: NICK PATRICK
Before the match begins, POINTS TO SELF gets an entrance for no reason, steals timekeeper MARK YEATON's chair...and takes a seat at ringside. Sadly, he's drinking water and not a Slurpee. A WWe LIVE onsale announcement takes up the screen during this match. Quick match has Guerrero win (frog splash -> pin 1:09), then van Dam comes in the ring, beats him up and throws him through the ropes. Play his music! Wow, that was pointless - oh, wait, Guerrero has the mic. "Orale, ese, holmes, get your ass back here vato!" and so on. "Let me ask you a question, man - who do you think you are, RVD?" Wait, I think he already answered his own question-- OH MAN HE POINTED TO HIMSELF AGAIN THIS RULES

JONATHAN COACHMAN shows trepidation in knocking on the EXCITING door - this is our Gratuitous Debra Segment of the Week, yeah

TONIGHT: Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair!

Judgment Day spot - Triple H vs. Chris Jericho - wow, they really sped up everybody's voices to fit in all those snippets, didn't they?

Rob van Dam shills Slurpees - although the cups still say "WWF," the voiceover at least now says "WWE"

Hey it IS Austin when we come back! "What about Ric Flair? - What about Ric Flair? - What about Ric Flair? - Did he say something important? - No he didn't - he's out there runnin' his mouth - like a jackass - why - because he is a jackass - Ric Flair says he's my friend - he tried to be my friend - I'm supposed to like him - we're supposd to be buddies - he's a jackass - did you understand me? - I said he's a jackass - you think I trust Ric Flair? - No I don't - you think I care how many times he's been champion? - No I don't - are you understandin' me becuase you're not sayin' a damn thing." Coach tries to bring up his match at Judgment Day. "What about Judgment Day - you got a problem with that? - you got a problem with Stone Cold Steve Austin, goin' against the Big Show and Ric Flair? - you got a problem with that? - Because I don't - I ain't got a problem with it at all - you got a big tall sumbitch, and you got a ..... bleached blonde, blue haired son of a bitch that calls himself the dirtiest player in the game? Big deal. Am I supposed to be impressed by that - because I'm not. Ric Flair, just because he's an owner, he thinks he's gonna throw his weight around here. - When he started messin' with Stone Cold Steve Austin - he shoulda realised that he was messin' with a rattlesnake, like I'm supposed to change? - And now he goes out there and he makes himself a title match with Hulk Hogan? - What? - He makes a title match with Hulk Hogan? - Does he deserve a title match? - Let me ask you, does he deserve a title match? - You don't have to answer, no he does not. - That's why I find it very interesting. - Do you think I'm gonna watch that match? - You're damn right I am - and goin' into Judgment Day - Ric Flair will find out - that you do not screw - with Stone Cold Steve Austin - do you know why? - Because Stone - Cold - Steve - Austin - said so. - And I'm gonna whip his ass - and I'm gonna whip The Big Show's ass. - Thank you."

Play his music! Look at that crowd! 'cause THAT'S THE SEGMENT

TONIGHT: "WWF Undisputed Championship - Legend vs. Legend"

A disclaimer when we return: "WARNING: The actions you are about to witness are those of Tommy Dreamer and not World Wrestling Entertainment." "A Day in the Life of Tommy Dreamer" "I'm just a normal guy - my hair's a little messy." He brushes a dog's teeth, then brushes his own with the same toothbrush. He sprays deodorant in his mouth. "You ever drink toilet water?" He puts Edge on his tongue - then shaves it. "He fills a cup from the incoming stream of a urinal. "What? It's better than regular water, it's a lot colder."

WILLIAM REGAL joins our commentary team for reasons which are not readily known...

TERRI (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday) v. MOLLY HOLLY (Mobile, Alabama)
referee: JACK DOAN
Holly does the horns bit then sticks her finger down her throat so as to register her opinion. Regal busts out "shite-orc" again and knowing now what he's saying I am baffled as to how that evades censorship...unless they're probably as confused by what he's saying as I was. Perhaps you've already noticed that I'm not really botering with play-by-play during these more, shall we say, worthless matches. I'll take note of Terri's top rope Frankensteiner but still, she loses to an inside cradle (2:28) and now we finally find out why Regal is around. "Finally, it's nice to see a lady that doesn't have to make a name for herself by hitching up her skirt and showing her bosoms. Miss Holly, being an English gentlemen, it would be my honour to escort you up the ramp away from these loud, lascivious Canadians. Shall we?" Play HIS music - commentators completely fail to make the connection between Regal's current feud and the relation thereof to the woman on his arm. And really, who can blame them, right?

Ric Flair is WALKING! and TALKING!

Judgment Day spot - Angle/Edge hair match hype - strangely enough, there haven't been any Hogan/Taker ads yet...say, is that preserving a sense of mystery as to the outcome of.....

WWE UNDISPUTED CHAMPIONSHIP: RIC FLAIR (challenger - Charlotte, North Carolina - 234 pounds - with RAW Credits, Transmitido en espanol SAP, TV-14-LSV (huh?), TV-14-DLV (huh?) and CC boxes) v. HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN (champion - Hollywood, California - 280 pounds - on his Beautiful Titan Bike) with no disqualifications
referee: Robinson
Flair demands the referee part the ropes for him - classic. Tonight, Flair has opted for the now familiar blue robe, cobalt trunks and kneepads, and baby blue boots. Hogan, by virtue of his brush with Taker's ride, STILL carries remnants of the *magical* ability to make the STEEL steps stand on end and float to the barrier so that he can ride around the ring without problem (nice to see they kept some gas in the tank this week, too). Hey, you realise it's been TEN years since they could have had this match on WWF television? I guess they've been managing to blow "can't miss" prospects longer than we'd like to think, eh? Come to think of it...given that we're still in sweeps, wouldn't it have been a good idea to give THIS match a little promotion ahead of tonight? Oh well...let's enjoy it while we've got it. Hogan rips the shirt and removes the boas with it - belt is off and they're eye to eye. Flair moves off - struts slowly...tests the ropes, then tries to collide with Hogan - but merely bounces off of him. Bell's rung. Flair back up - collar and elbow, side headlock by Hogan, Flair powers out and Hogan again runs him over. Flair instinctively heads to the corner before getting up...and Robinson dutifully holds Hogan at bay. Back to a neutral corner, Hogan stokes the crowd. We go again - to the corner - Hogan shoves Flair off his feet - Flair does a flip before getting back up - thinks about running at Hogan, but pauses...then goes outside, grabs a chair and comes back in. Robinson isn't about to stand for that, and pulls away the chair. Right around here was when the earthquake hit, by the way. Flair with a shove - Robinson shoves back - the chase is on but Hogan stands between them, wagging his finger. Flair pulls up. Crowd chants "Hogan" again. Flair reaches for the knuckles - and Hogan grabs the knuckle lock - Flair cries in pain, but still manages to get him to the corner - three chops resonate through the arena...but Hogan says "no sale." Flair backs off - Hogan keeps coming - to the opposite corner when hogan lands the kick, right, right, chop, chop, chop, right, chop, climbs to the second rope for a Ten Punch Count Along and hitting all ten. FLAIR FLOP! Hogan cups his ear to the crowd's delight. Flair whipped to the opposite corner - FLAIR FLIP but Flair mistimes it and doesn't make it over, falling back inside the ring instead. Flair goes to the eyes when Hogan moves in, Flair outside, climbing up...but takes too long. Hogan is over and beals him back to the centre. Flair on his knees begging off - but Hogan isn't ready to give up the advantage. Kick to the cut, right, Flair chops, Hogan chokes him down...Flair to his knees and while Robinson leans in to protest the choke, Flair gives him an uppernut. Even with no disqualifications, Flair denies any wrongdoing. Flair takes over. Right, right, left, chop, Hogan can't walk it off - to the adjacent corner - Flair pops a right. Hogan to his knees - Flair in close quarters with seven punches to the nose. Flair adds a stomp as Hogan goes to all fours. Flair with a field goal kick. Flair with a stomp. "Let's go Hogan" chant from the crowd. Flair puts Hogan between the ropes and out...and follows. Both men on the floor as Flair tries to ram Hogan into the ringpost - Hogan blocks! - again - again it's blocked! Hogan with an elbow in the gut - Flair rammed into the barricade - Hogan with three chops - Flair's head shot into the steps! Hogan puts Flair in to beat the count and follows him in. Flair sent into the corner, back body drop as he comes out. Flair begs off again - and sneaks in a thumb to the eye as Hogan brings him back up. Flair takes aim at the left knee with a kick to the back of the leg - knife-edge chop puts Hogan down. Flair hooks the leg and gets the first near fall. Flair sets up for the kneedrop - but Hogan puts up his hands and catches it! Hogan quickly back to his feet still holding the knee - HOGAN WITH A FIGURE FOUR!! Flair violently shakes his head and scoots back to the ropes - finally grabbing the second rope. Hogan initially won't let go - and why WOULD he with no disqualifications? - but eventually does. Flair tries to get to the apron but Hogan catches him with a right hand - then sets him up - big suplex back into the ring! Hogan hooks the leg - and he gets HIS first near fall. Hogan off the ropes with the elbowdrop - but misses! Flair back up with a limp - chop! But all that chop seemed to do was wake Hogan up. Hogan shot into the ropes, big chop - no sale. Chop by Flair, right hand - but Hogan starts working the jackhammer! Chop by Flair - HOGAN POINT AT YOU and Flair is livid - Flair's right hand is blocked - right by Hogan, right, right, into the ropes, big boot! Hogan sets up Flair in the centre - off the ropes, and the leg drop HITS! Cover - 1, 2, X-PAC breaks up the pin! X-Pac with a flurry of rights - no effect on Hogan, who winds up and takes him out of the ring with a single right hand. Well it's all downhill from here as WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW forearms Hogan in the back, right, headbutt, BRADSHAW in to throw rights - and take Show out of the ring with a clothesline - then chases 'Pac over the barricade and out through the crowd. Flair is stomping away on Hogan's left knee - but here comes STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN - and that's what I like to call KICK WHAM STUNNER. Hogan is back up and feeling it from the crowd. Ross: "They want the legdrop, Hogan! Give it to him, willya?!" And he does. "Hogan with the legdrop - Austin with the Stunner - the referee with three!" And the champ retains. (8:45) Show is back up but Hogan's on his way back to his bike - hey, he didn't stall it on his way back up! Well shoot, it's sure hard not to love that match...but it *could* be everything that's surrounded it thus far making it seem even better, hey?

Another "Get the F out" ad - recycling "Sexual Chocolate" why why why why why

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - Austin grinned, Hogan dropped the leg, Austin grinned some more.

To say Flair is irate is something of an understatement. He upends his desk and throws lots of....bottles of water. He books Bradshaw in a handicap match with Show and 'Pac. As for Austin, he gets a lumberjack match - Flair picks the lumberjacks - and will introduce him to the newest NWO member as his opponent. "You son of a bitch - we will have your ass tonight." Flair starts chopping Show (huh?) so we move away from him slowly (quickly) to

WWE WOMEN'S & HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIPS: TRISH S TRATUS (challenger - Toronto, Ontario - aka "Toronto, Canada" - thanks, Lilian - with RAW is brought to you by M&M's, Burger King, and Slim Jim!) and BUBBA RAY DUDLEY (challenger - Dudleyville - 325 pounds - with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. JAZZ (Women's champion) & STEVEN RICHARDS (Hardcore champion) in a mixed tag
referee: Doan
Wasn't it funny that they couldn't show Trish getting the tablebomb on Heat, yet it's perfectly all right to show it here? Dudley starts by pressing Trish onto both champs on the floor. Four on the floor - Pier Four brawl, that is - Ross reminds us that this is not an intergender match, and what a day and age we live in when that's the exception and not the rule! Women in - Jazz into the corner, Trish with a clothesline - climbs up for a Ten Punch Count Along and gets all of them. Another right - Richards in - Stratus sidesteps the splash and Richards lands on Jazz. Dudley in to land an avalanche the pile. Richards falls, Jazz headbutts his groin. Trish and Bubba underneat opposite aprons for weaponry - Trish fails twice to get a garbage can over the ropes, har har. WWE live events ("Tickets available now!") crawl on the screen. Trish with a garbage can (at least Bubba can throw a can over some ropes) to Jazz' head. Richards tries to get in a swing but Trish ducks off the whip and Dudley is ready - left, left, left, flip flop fly bionic elbow. Trish with a STOP sign to Richards' gut. Dudley grabs a hockey stick and winds up - taking a slap shot to the air - and a WHACK to the sign. Crowd chants.....something Canadian, I'm sure. Don't bother telling me. Richards manages to recuperate, though, and gets a right hand in - right, left, into the ropes, Dudley hooks the punch attempt and lands the Bubbabomb on the sign - that may be it - 1, 2, JUSTIN CREDIBLE breaks it up with a kendo stick! Credible with a superkick on Richards - referee "Blind" Nick Patrick counts 1 but CRASH HASNOLASTNAME breaks THAT up, trashcan lid to Richards, covers, but before referee "Blind" Charles Robinson can make a count of his own, Credible blasts him with the fire extinguisher! Credible poses to the crowd - but Dudley has a gee-tar filled with baby powder and you may be able to guess what happens next. Richards lunges at Dudley, who steps aside - and Richards ends up knocking Stratus off the apron! Dudley must not have noticed again - right hand, into the ropes - Richards hooks the ropes and tags Jazz. Jazz - very - slowly - gets in the ring - still holding her noodle. She brings in Stratus, who is only now getting back to the apron. Double chickenwing applied...but she lets go before Trish gives up. All the hardcore action appears to have spilled where we can't see it. Stratus into the ropes, ducks, ducks again, grabs Jazz and runs into Stratusfaction - 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Women's champion. (Call 4:11) Dudley is back in - gives her the belt and raises her arm. I guess Trish has already forgiven Bubba for ramming Richards into her. Jazz tries a post-match attack - Trish ducks and clocks her with the belt. Trish shows all of her teeth, then goes outside for a mic that doesn't work - "Bubba - get the tables!" So he does. HE fails to get the garbage can in the ring (must be a magik forcefield!!) but the table *is* slid in under the bottom rope. Stratus picks up Jazz and feeds her to Bubba on the second rope - of course, there's no way to show anything but Bubba's ass breaking that table but we'll pretend it was the superbomb. Play his music because it's Trish posing with a belt!

TONIGHT: A lumberjack match - Stone Cold vs. the returning "????" - a silhouette in a crudely drawn NWO shirt - ooo!

Tough Enough 2 ad - one would assume they finally make the cut they promised two weeks ago, but you know something about assuming - that's right

The WWE Rewind is brought to you by 1-800-CAL-LATT! From last week, Hogan makes merry with semi on his motorcycle

Coach catches up with Taker, who is repeatedly pushing the back of his own head against the wall he's leaning on. Coach asks twice for response - Taker only gives him the mean look...and walks away.

Lawler shows off "Hulkamania" magazine while Ross starts running off the pay-per-view card...

12 Stones' "Broken" is the official theme song! The graphics don't lie - Hollywood Hogan puts the title on the line against The Undertaker! In a handicap match, Stone Cold Steve Austin takes on both Ric Flair and the Big Show! It will be Hell in a Cell when Triple H meets Chris Jericho! Someone will be shaved bald after Kurt Angle takes over Edge! Eddie Guerrero puts the intercontinental title on the line one more time against Rob van Dam! And as we learned earlier, the Hardy Boyz will take on Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman!

TONIGHT: Lumberjack match - like we may have forgotten in the past few minutes

To the locker room for Goldust! "Oooooooh, I am so excited that Ric Flair has given us the opportunity to be amongst the other lumberjacks, and might I add how *ravishing* you look. I think you and I should get in the spirit of things and sing that song, that lumberjack song, how does it go? Ummm - oh yeah. 'I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay / I sleep all night and I work all day.' Kick it!" We pan over to Booker T, who is not only wearing the traditional flannel shirt, but also a matching hat, leather overalls, axe (haha "axe")...and red beard!


Thanks to Fergus

"MAN! I feel like a fool with this outfit on! Where's your lumberjack outfit at?" "Well, that's it, I mean we don't HAVE to wear--" "WHAT - I ain't GOTTA wear this outfit?!" "I figured you'd look *ravishing*...and - you know - by the looks of things, I was right." "You IDIOT - man I oughta..." and threatens swinging the axe. "I tell you what - since you like the outfit so much...you wear it out there." "But Book...Book...why do these things always END like this?"

More live action announced - Friday, Louisville; Saturday, Raleigh; Sunday is Judgment Day in Nashville, and RAW is in Memphis!

After Tough Enough, head over to HBO when Vince McMahon may point to Bob Costas on "On the Record" - which is just like "Off the Record," only not Canadian (so it doesn't SUCK)

X-PAC & THE BIG SHOW (725 pounds - with 1-800-CAL-LATT presents Judgment Day!) v. BRADSHAW (Sweetwater, Tejas - 292 pounds) in a handicap match
referee: Patrick
No Big Show intro tacked onto Theme NWO this week - X-Pac still wears the Kane mask to the ring. Sadly, 'Pac does NOT wrestle wearing the Kane mask. Lockup, side headlock by 'Pac, powered out, shoulderblock by Bradshaw. Hard into the corner - "tag his ass!" so Show tags in. Bradshaw right, right, right, right, chop, chop, off the ropes with a shoulderblock - Show doesn't budge. Bradshaw ducks the swing, 'Pac from behind, Show knocks him down. Tag to 'Pac - slap by Show, chop by 'Pac, right, right, right, right by Bradshaw turns it around. 'Pac into the ropes, powerslam by Bradshaw - 1, 2, no. Right hand by Bradshaw, into the corner, boot up by 'Pac, 'Pac runs into a back body drop. Elbowdrop by Bradshaw - 1, 2, Show stomps to break it up. Bradshaw turns to Show - right, right, 'Pac from behind, now to the unfriendly corner for the doubelteam. Patrick's counting but nobody's paying attention - Bradshaw manages to elbow Show and punch 'Pac, but Show pulls him to the apron, then pulls him outside to ram him into the STEEL steps. Bradshaw delivered to 'Pac - who tags Show in. Scoop....and well it's the big slam. Well it's the big elbowdrop. Well it's the big right hand. Well it's the big headbutt. Well it's the big elbow to the back of the neck. Bradshaw tries to fire back - Show unloads with forearms to the back. Tag to 'Pac - kick by Show, kick trifecta by 'Pac. Snapmares him over - off the ropes with the lightning legdrop for 2 - Bradshaw powers out with authority. 'Pac makes the tag. Bradshaw elbows Show, punches 'Pac, elbows Show, punches 'Pac, elbows Show, but Show hooks him - 'Pac runs into a boot - Bradshaw turns round - right, chop, right, big boot and Show falls to the floor! Meanwhile, 'Pac is climbing up - but Bradshaw catches the plancha so he can hit his COFS. Into the corner is reversed by 'Pac, nobody home for the splash, Bradshaw is ready to wind up for the Hades lariat but as he comes off the ropes, Show chairs him in the back. Ross intimates Patrick is deaf - hey, that's MY gig! Show with ahhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM - then pulls him up for seconds. Say it with me ahhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM - 'Pac really wants that tag - and gets it. Cover - 1, 2, 3. Heh heh. (4:34) Who is the big surprise NWO member? Come back, won't you?

Here's that anxiously awaited Hogan/Taker Judgment Day spot

Lita shills Stacker 2 - again

Here's a look at The World at Times Square - watch Judgment Day there! Tix available now!

Also available is the Judgment Day webcast at wwe.com!

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - or five paragraphs ago

Your hosts are a pair of kings - LARRY & JERRY.

UP NEXT: Holy geez that was a short segment - oh wait it isn't over

Coach catches up to Hogan, who's dressed in his road gear. "You know something, Coach, me and all my Hulkamaniacs will take care of the Undertaker at Judgment Day. Tonight, Ric Flair proved that he was a play. And all I've gotta say is thank God for the Rattlesnake, because he made my day. But now thinking things out, Coach, I was gonna ride around Toronto, take the leathers off, show off the 24" pythons and spook some of the creeps outta the neighbourhoods around here...but now that I've thought it over, I think I'm gonna return the favour - hang out for Stone Cold Steve Austin the Rattlesnake, volunteer, ride my Harley down and be one of the lumberjacks in his match, and watch his back just like he watched my mine tonight, Coach. I think Stone Cold OHHHH--" that's Taker with a crowbar. "You better get somebody to watch your own back! Don't you know Dead Man Inc.'s in the house? Yeah!" Sorry, it was a TIRE IRON. "I don't have my own bike anymore - but I'll be damn glad to take a ride with you!" Taker hogties Hogan's ankle to his bike. Soupbone, soupbone. "Let's go for a ride, Hogan!" Taker fires up the bike and starts dragging Hogan by his ankle - is that a cut? It sure looked like Hogan both times. The cameraman runs...a bit too far, 'cause we can see the photographer in a doorway...slowly he backs off. Heh

Let Us Take You Back To What You Just Done Seen

Coming Back Live, Taker drags him back the way he came - then swings him into the OH NO KLANGY POLES AND CARDBOARD BOXES OH NO!!! Taker steps off to survey his damage. "Welcome to my world, Hogan - welcome to my world. I'll see you Sunday." He walks off as Hogan feigns breathing difficulty.

NOW we take the final ad break

Let Us Take You Back To Moments Ago - no idea whether this is the replay or the replay or the replay of the huh? Wheeeeeee you know as much as I love Taker, I sure liked Hogan wrestling more than I like Hogan...doing this

Coming back "live," EMT's and officials tend to Hogan. An oxygen tank is produced. Looks like it's horsecollar time for Hogan.

Meanwhile, Flair's music is playing as we examine the ringside area for lumberjacks. We've got T & Goldust, Eddie Guerrero, Flair and the NWO, Credible, Crash, BOSSMAN ISHEBIG, CAW CAW CAW, Regal and Lesnar.

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (Victoria, Tejas - 252 pounds) v. ? in a lumberjack match
referee: EARL HEBNER
Remember on SmackDown! when Triple H had to beat up five guys? Well, same thing with Austin and the B-level lumberjacks. Finally, the NWO and Flair gang up to put Austin down - and in the ring. Flair grabs the mic. "And now, and now Austin, you son of a bitch, you've got Booker T! Come on, Booker! You're the newest member of the NWO!" Um, wow, what a letdown. T looks at his hand and goes to work. Hey NOW can he bring in Stevie Ray? Okay, okay. Kick by T, right, chop, right, kick, kick, kick, right, pounding on the back, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp - words for Hebner for daring to enforce the rules. Chop, chop, chop, into the ropes, Harlem sidekick! Shot to the traps. T pulls him up - arm wringer, Austni ducks the back kick - right, right, right, into the ropes, spinebuster, Austin foolishly positions himself so Boss Man can pull him outside - and sure enough, Boss Man pulls him outside - Austin blocks, right, right, clothesline over the barricade - Raven clotheslined over the barricade - Lesnar puts Austindown with a right hand - then rams his back into the ringpost. Lesnar rams Austin's back into the apron as well. Lesnar with one more time into the ring apron - and once more. Austin put back in for T - Austin rolls too close to the floor and gets popped by Guerrero and Goldust as well. T lands the back kick this time. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, Austin kicks out. T with a right - into the ropes, Austin ducks, Austin right, right, right, right, double bird, KICK is caught and T spins Austin round - Austin ducks the right, right of his own, right, into the ropes, T ducks the backhand, but falls into ANOTHER spinebuster. Austin with the mount and eight quick rights. Austin off the ropes, but Show lowers the bridge and (with some effort) Austin falls to the floor. Flair, Show and 'Pac go to work on him - Flair with lefts and rights - Austin fires back with rights on Flair but Show grabs him from behind to stop that. Austni put back in the ring. Gutshot by T - consults his hand - off the ropes with the axe kick! T drops to a knee and feels it - dropping down and breakdancing back up! But he took too long - Austin with a clothesline, a right, T ducks the next one and connects with a thrust kick - 1, 2, no! 1, 2, no! 1, 2, it's a pattern! T tosses Austin to the NWO where Flair chops away, then works the body. X-Pac adds a few - then Show picks him up and lets him drop on the barricade. Austin rolled back in one more time. Hebner and Flair have a discussion - this gives Austin just enough time to uppernut T. Regal on the apron, right hand puts him down. Goldust, repeat, Boss Man, repeat, Credible, repeat, Crash, repeat, right for T, Guerrero gets a right, 'Pac manages to duck and hold Austin just long enough to make sure that T collides with HIM and not with Austin - Regal in - KICK WHAM STUNNER - T misses a clothesline, but they're out of position and T has to miss ANOTHER clothesline so Austin can grab the rollup and pull the tights for the 1, 2, 3. Man, I hope they don't fire Booker T! (5:27) Austin decks Raven on his way out. Actually, it'd be great if they tell T he's NOT in the NWO now, then he turns face and....well I'm not much of a fantasy booker actually. WHOA ARN ANDERSON pops Austin from behind on the ramp! Austin rolls down to the floor - another sledge to the back by Anderson - and a kick to the gut. Lesnar throws Austin in to the NWO - ahhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM! Flair gets Hebner out of there so Show can drop an elbow on Austin. Thank you sir, may I have another? Show makes it three elbowdrops. X-Pac and Booker T have gone outside the ring to leave Flair and Show the focus with Austin. Flair does some raving. Show with a knee, knee, knee, knee. ahhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM once again. Austin has opted for the "internal injuries" red capsule in his mouth. Flair mounts Austin and punches away. Play his music! Flair ads a stomp. Flair and Show raise arms as the credits come up - and we go out. The "WW" logo now has the word "Entertainment" underneath it so as to be less confusing. I *still* say it's castration, but hey...maybe Vince doesn't *mind* a little castration now and then.

 

E-MAIL CRZ
BROWSE THE RAW RECAP ARCHIVES

CRZ is not Rick Scaia.

 


  
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