Anyway, I hadn't seen any football since opening night, when the Giants shat the bed against these same Cowboys.... but they won tonight, and apparently, they're now up to 2 games in the NFC East. That sounds like I should probably start caring?
 
On top of that, I gather the Bengals are undefeated, which is an even better reason to care. I'll hop that bandwagon in an instant if it looks like they're for real, and not gonna do another one of their "Yay, we're the Wild Card! Let's lose in the first round!" deals.
 
But perhaps more to the point: it's crystal clear that WWE has done a fine job of alienating millions of marginal fans, who only give a shit about wrestling when it's good. Well, I'm happy to report that tonight was one of those nights, everybody!
 
Read on to find out what happened at the just-completed Hell in a Cell 2015 pay-per-view:

• On the Preshow. Nothing much happened, other than the six-man tag, which turned out to be a pretty damned fun 15 minute match. In the end, Neville/Cesaro/Ziggler scored the win over Barrett/Sheamus/Rusev. Neville got the pin on Barrett, but Cesaro was arguably the star of the match for the good guys. Stardust and the Ascension were in the crowd, in the "Stardust Section," clearly trying to jumpstart a feud with Cesaro.
  
  There were a few low-content interviews, with the only piece of new info coming from John Cena, who declared that he was going to kick off the PPV, proper, with a US Open Challenge, and he hopes somebody capable brings it.
  
  Oh, and also there was Renee Young's Ample Cleavage. It was just as delightful as the rest of her fine work.
  
  
• Opening Theme/Pyro/Etc... and we're live in Los Angeles, CA, where Cole & The Gang offer a perfunctory welcome, and a tour of some celebrities seated at ringside. But then there's no time to waste, because John Cena promised he was gonna kick off the show in style, and he's on his way to the ring.
  
  
• US Open Challenge. Cena says he had a "long boring prepared statement," but he's just gonna skip it. He wants to fight, so who's it gonna be.
  
  Jack Swagger's music fires up, but it's not Swagger who comes out. It's Zeb Colter, riding a golf cart, still selling the leg injury caused by Rusev. Huh.
  
  Colter calls Cena a divider, not a uniter, and that makes him a terrible representative of the United States. Even Colter has seen the light, and sees the value in coming together across borders, and that brings him to the next US Champion....
  
  ALBERTOOOO DEL RIOOOOOO~!
  
  Hell, yeah! Alberto was fired about a year ago, because he slapped a backstage production assistant who was saying racist shit. That's right, Alberto got fired, the racist kept his job. D'oh. But then, a few months ago, the racist finally got fired for being nowhere NEAR good enough at his job to justify what a pain in the ass he was.
  
  So that cleared the way for WWE to think about re-opening negotiations with Alberto... when Lucha Underground got it's budget slashed for Season 2, Alberto was sudden open to making a living wage, too. And so here we are.
  
  
• Alberto del Rio beats John Cena to win the US Title. Some definite cheers and a "WELL COME BACK" chant for del Rio, and he comes out strong, just in case there are some viewers who don't remember how good the guy is. When del Rio tosses Cena out of the ring, Cena lands awkwardly, and begins selling a vague left leg injury.
  
  From there, it's pretty much straight into the "mid-match" heel beatdown. Took us all of 90 seconds to get there. Oy. Alberto is fairly dominant for 4-5 minutes, and then steps back, calling for the "Si! Lock" (cross armbreaker, now with extra "Si!")... but Cena pops up and cuts him off at the pass with a stiff clothesline.
  
  From there, Cena hits the Five Moves of Doom, and attempts an F-U... but del Rio slides out the back door, and counters into a Backstabber. Then, as soon as Cena gets up onto his knees, Alberto follows up with the stiff Low Superkick, and makes the cover. One. Two. THREE~!
  
  New champ, and a very credible one, at that. Totally clean and convincing win. Match was nothing, at under 10 minutes and ultra formulaic. But as a moment/swerve, it was damned exciting. We've got the US Title off Cena, but as for writing him out for his well-publicized vacation? I guess that's gonna wait till tomorrow on RAW....
  
  
• Backstage: Seth Rollins and the Authority are quite pleased with the big time start to the show... but then Korporate Kane shows up, after his one week suspension, offering to be of service. Nobody is having any of it, though, and Rollins tells Kane to get out of here and get ready, because Rollins is planning to kick his ass later tonight. Kane continues to feign confusion, but does leave with a menacing "Good luck, Seth. You're gonna need it!"
  
  
• Roman Reigns beats Bray Wyatt inside a Cell Match. Wyatt enters first, and he's solo. Reigns enters second, though the crowd. As soon as the outside ref chains them in, the inside ref (Charles Robinson) calls for the bell. Reigns and Wyatt spend a few moments just circling each other.
  
  Wyatt makes the first move, and Reigns sidesteps it and follows up with a plethora of punches. It's back and forth for a bit, as Bray uses kicks and headbutts, but Reigns is never more than a right hand away from equalizing things.
  
  About 3-4 minutes of that, and Wyatt tries to roll outside. It does not go well. Reigns hits a modified version of the Running Apron Dropkick Thingie, and then starts introducing Bray to the Cell wall, the ringsteps, and more.
  
  Then, my connection froze up for about 30 seconds, and when it finally came back on, Bray was in control and swinging a kendo stick. A little bit of that, and then Bray added a steel chair to the party (from under the ring).
  
  The chair is ultimately Bray's undoing, however. He props it inside the Cell wall, intending to ram Reigns into it.... but Reigns reverses the whip, and Wyatt eats it. Reigns goes under the ring and comes up with two fresh kendo sticks, and just brutalizes Wyatt with them.
  
  Then, Reigns decides to up the ante, and brings out two tables. He hits a standard version of the Driveby to keep Wyatt woozy while he keeps setting up the tables. Then, Reigns sets up to DDT Wyatt off the apron, though the table.... but Wyatt headbutts his way to safety, and then hits a uranage that sends Reigns through the table, instead. Ouch.
  
  First near fall of the match comes when Bray takes it back into the ring, and hits his running senton. Reigns kicks out at two, so Bray takes it back outside, using the Cell wall and the ringpost to his advantage. Fans are pretty 50/50, as the "LETS GO ROH MAN" and "ROH MAN SUCKS" chants are equal.
  
  Wyatt grabs a third table (the second is still set up where Reigns left it), and moves it into the ring. Bray is planning to superplex Reigns through the table... but Reigns blocks it and then counters it into a powerbomb through the table. That's Reigns' first near fall, but Wyatt is able to kick out.
  
  Reigns can't follow up, and both men struggle to their feet. When they finally do, Wyatt busts out an attempted Sister Abigail, but Reigns counters into a roll-up. Wyatt kicks out at 2, but Reigns immediately catches him with a flash Superman Punch. Wyatt kicks out at 2 again.
  
  Both men struggle to their feet again, and actually, Bray gets weak in the knees when he tries, so he rolls out onto the apron, instead. Bad idea.
  
  Reigns joins him, and after trading fists, Reigns steps back, and spears Wyatt through that second table that he'd originally set up at ringside. Cell matches must end inside the ring, so Reigns has to hoist Bray's carcass in there. This takes a lot of time, and Wyatt's able to kick out.
  
  Reigns steps back, and seems to be setting up for another spear.... Bray finally gets to his feet... Reigns charges... Bray gets a boot up, and Reigns runs right into it... Reigns is stunned, and Wyatt hits a Flash Abigail.
  
  Ultra-convincing near fall, but Reigns does jsut barely kick out in time. Wyatt just starts chuckling, as he gleefully grabs the kendo sticks and decimates Reigns for a bit before setting the sticks up in the corner, pointing outward.... he wants to imaple Reigns on what amounts to a Giant Bamboo Fork.
  
  But Reigns grabs the bottom "tine" and whaps Wyatt with it a few times, before whipping him back into the corner, where Wyatt's face collides with the top tine. Ouch. If they want to, they could very easily have Bray add an eyepatch to his gimmick, and I'd buy it, after that.
  
  And it goes without saying: one more spear, and Reigns is your winner. Very good 20 minute brawl. Intense, brutal, and with a bit of genuine creativity, too. This is another one Reigns can proudly add to his short list of solid singles efforts that he's started building up since WrestleMania.
  
  
• The New Day beat the Dudleys to retain the Tag Titles. No Eggsavier Woods tonight, as he's reportedly still injured after going through a table on Monday. [In reality, he got married this weekend, so he's got a few days off.] Big E and Kofi still rocking the trombone, though!
  
  But since neither of them can play it, they opt for raising their Unicorn Horns, rather than playing a song on the literal horn. Calling themselves "Unicorns" is their new thing. Big E takes over, and declares that Eggsavier's very spirit is contained in this trombone, and therefore, victory is assured. They may not have their tromboner, but they will be a two-man percussion section, and beat on the Dudleys all night long. New Dayrocks?
  
  Nope, Los Angeles begs to differ: New Daysucks!
  
  Dudleys enter to a huge pop, and we're off. Kofi and Devon start things off, with Kofi jumpstarting it for a shady early advantage. Only lasts about a minute, though, as Devon is able to catch Kofi on the rebound with his spinning elbow, and then he tags Bubba into the match.
  
  Bubba dominates for a bit, and Kofi decides to bail out of the ring. He and Big E regroup, and that accomplishes nothing, as Bubba continues to dominate, eventually tagging Bubba back into a ring.
  
  They attempt a double-team sidewalk slam/legdrop combo, and it's a complete botch. D'oh. But that's OK, as Devon was never intended to stay in control for long. Kofi is able to get a tag to Big E, and Big E immediately takes command.
  
  Devon is officially our Face in Peril, as the New Day make frequent tags, and punctuate their offense with plenty of hip gyrations and rhythmic clapping. It builds up to the New Day attempting the Whassssup!!!, but with Big E going up top instead of Kofi, you just knew that wasn't gonna work out well.
  
  Devon kicked Kofi off and made the tag to Bubba. He's en feugo, and he calls for Devon to go to the top rope. They show New Day how it's done, hitting the Whassup!!! on Big E. But before they can set up the 3-D, Kofi jumps in with a double dropkick and it breaks down a Pier Four brawl.
  
  In the chaos Big E and Devon powder out, and Kofi grabs the trombone... but before Kofi can use it, he sees the ref about to turn around, so he throws the trombone at Bubba, who catches it. Kofi flops, and pretends that Bubba hit him with the trombone.
  
  The ref turns around, and is tempted to call for the DQ... but Bubba is insistant that he didn't do anything, and the crowd is backing him up. After much torment, the ref decides he didn't actually see it with his own two eyes, so he's not gonna call it. The match continues.
  
  The Dudleys go on a tear, isolating on Kofi... and they once again set up for the 3-D. But with the ref focused on Devon and Kofi, Big E is able to grab the trombone and whap Bubba with it. Those two powder out.
  
  Devon is pissed and argues with the ref... and when he turns back around, he walks right into the Trouble in Paradise. Kofi makes the cover, and gets the pinfall. Champs retain in a decent little 12 minute match that saw the two teams kind of stuck in a cruising gear, instead of busting out their A material. I don't think that's because Woods was absent, but rather, I'm sure it's because they know there's at least one more PPV match to go and they still need somewhere else to go.
  
  
• Charlotte defeats Nikki Bella to retain the Women's Title. Last second stipulation is that nobody is allowed at ringside. But realistically, that just means that Charlotte and Nikki make their ring entrances, solo. But you'd have to be pretty gullible to blindly believe that state of affairs will last the whole match.
  
  Some back-and-forth-y to start, but when it spills outside, it breaks in favor of Nikki. With her transformation into a power wrestler, Nikki just womanfully throws Charlotte around, with the ringside barricade as the main prop.
  
  Back in the ring, Nikki slows it down with a chinlock. To her credit, she plants a knee in Charlotte's back as she does it, so there's a bit more visual torque, but still: it's a chinlock.
  
  Nice hope spot by Charlotte that sets up a bit of convincing chain wrestling (backslide into dueling near falls), but then Nikki asserts her power skills, and takes over again, focusing on Charlotte's lower back. Most convincing near fall so far comes after a slingshot move where Charlotte's throat impacts the bottom rope.
  
  Another hope spot for Charlotte ends when her back gives out on an attempted suplex. Also, Charlotte's now bleeding a bit from the bridge of her nose; might have been the slingshot into the bottom rope.  But Nikki can't hit the big one to put Charlotte away, and the frustration starts to show. She shifts from being physically bully-ish to being a verbal bully.
  
  And that's when Charlotte starts her for-real comeback. Just angry punchy-stompy at first, then a snap neckbreaker for a near fall. Charlotte has designs on a moonsault, but Nikki catches her, and both woman are up top.
  
  Nikki's trying to turn it into a belly-to-back superplex.... but when Nikki goes for the throw, Charlotte flips all the way through and lands on her feet, as Nikki's head lands hard on the mat.
  
  Spear by Charlotte, and then she goes for the Figure 8.... the Figure 4 part goes just fine, but as soon as Charlotte adds in the bridge, her back goes out again.
  
  Nikki gets the break, and rolls out of the ring. Charlotte gets her wind back, and follows, and when she does, Nikki greets her with a big boot, and then hits a WICKED Alabama Slam ONTO THE RING APRON. Holy Shit, indeed!
  
  Roll back into the ring, and it looks like everything's coming up Nikki.... but when she goes for the Rack Attack, Charlotte flips out, and picks an ankle. Cinches in the Figure 4. And this time, when she goes for the bridge, she gets it. Figure 8, and Nikki has no choice but to tap out.
  
  Charlotte retains, after a very good 10 minute match. Nikki more than held up her end, too, but at the end of the day, the Bella "Brand" and WWE's allegedly women's wrestling "revolution" are oil and water. They do not mix. To really prove the revolution, I'm looking forward to WWE purposely moving away from the "diva" label, and focusing on Charlotte, Sasha, Paige, Nattie, Naomi, and Becky for a bit.
  
  
• I Don't Know What to Make of This: A Survivor Series promo airs, and the subtitle for the show is "25 Years of Undertaker." He debuted at Survivor Series 1990, so yeah, the math works out.... and all of a sudden, it's entirely more likely that the Undertaker will have a PPV match after tonight BEFORE Brock Lesnar does.
  
  Or maybe Taker will just be at the show in some sort of celebratory, non-wrestling capacity, and WWE's just framing it this way to try to mess with us smart fans who think we "know" that Lesnar is gonna win tonight?
  
  
• Seth Rollins beat Kane to retain the WWE Title. Fully boxing style ring intros by Lilian. Then, as they circle and badmouth each other, the announcers reset the story, which is that Korporate Kane is permanantly fired if Demon Kane loses. If Demon Kane wins, Korporate Kane stays as full-time DOO.
  
  With those stakes, Demon Kane is ultra-motivated to start. Pretty much his first play is to pepper Rollins with punches, and then go outside to chokeslam him through the announce table. Rollins blocks it, and has a moment of offense.
  
  But then Kane snatches him out of midair on a suicide dive, and resumes the attack. Rollins is in trouble for a minute or two, until he again seeks solace on the apron, and this time -- when Kane comes over to coral him -- Rollins clotheslines Kane's neck over the steel turnbuckle. Not the top rope, the actual steel turnbuckle. Ouch.
  
  Thus, Rollins' heel beatdown sequence is off to a convincing start. His first act is to hit that suicide dive that failed on the first try. And then, back into the ring, where the action is a bit more methodical. And when I use the word "methodical," you know a chinlock can't be far behind! Rollins locks it in, and Kane half-fires-up out of it, but Rollins dodges a big boot, and Kane's hunt up on the top rope.
  
  Advantage back to Rollins, after a less-than-30-second hope spot. Rollins in control for another minute or two, until he goes up top... Kane is able to knock Rollins' leg out, and goes up top, too. WIth little drama, Kane hits a big superplex to start his for real comeback.
  
  Rally builds up to a big boot, which leads to Kane's first near fall. Then Kane's the one who goes up top, and who gets caught. But Kane punches Rollins off, and hits his flying clothesline, as planned.
  
  Kane steps back, calls for the Chokeslam. Gut kick by Rollins breaks it up, and Rollins goes for the Pedigree. Kane sunset flips out of it, and hits the Chokeslam on the rebound.
  
  Rollins kicks out at 2. Kane, with the Throat Slit, calls for the Tombstone, but Rollins flips out the backdoor, and rolls out of the ring.
  
  No problem for Kane, who follows and rams Rollins into the announce table... then, he removes the "hood" and monitors from the announce table and sets up to chokeslam Rollins on the table.
  
  But Rollins slips down through Kane's legs, and has him in perfect position for a powerbomb.... so Rollins goes for it, and powerbombs Kane into the Spanish Announce Table.
  
  The table doesn't break, robbing the moment of a bit of visual sizzle, but still: very nice.
  
  Rollins leaves Kane on the floor to get counted out, rather than try to wrestle his deadweight into the ring. But Kane gets back into the ring at 9.
  
  Kane counters the first Pedigree attempt, but a series of superkicks, a flying knee strike, and a big frog splash build up to a convincing near fall. But Kane still kicks out.
  
  Rollins frustration is really showing, now, as he's talking to himself, rather than following up. When Rollins does approch Kane, Kane initial reaches up and grabs Rollins by the throat.... but a couple swift kicks, and Kane's on his knees, and woozy.
  
  In other words, he's in perfect position to eat a Pedigree. Which he does. Rollins retains the WWE Title in a decent 15 minute match. Maybe even a notch better than "decent," if we're perfectly fair. But it's hard to be objective about a match where you never actually believed the outcome was in any doubt. Like it or not, that's a contributing factor, too.
  
  
• Kevin Owens defeats Ryback to retain the IC Title. Bell rings, and Owens just runs away. It's a first ever, as Ryback follows, and it turns into a Cat and Mouse Role Reversal Match as the FIRST SPOT of the match. But after maybe 30 seconds of cheap offense, Owens whiffs on a charge, and Ryback takes over a bit.
  
  After a big pumphandle slam, Owens tries to bail out again, and this time, Ryback follows and keeps the heat on. He eventually takes it back into the ring, and that's when Owens stages a comeback.
  
  Ryback goes for the turnbuckle mount-and-punch spot, but Owens fights him off after about 3 punches, and begins his heel beatdown....
  
  Or maybe not. After about a minute, Owens goes for the Cannonball, but Ryback cuts him off with a clothesline. Ryback tries to go up top, but he's increasingly got a Flair-esque Success Rate up there.... Owens knocks a leg out, and then hits a superkick that sends Ryback tumbling to the mat.
  
  Owens is willing to take the count-out, but Ryback makes it into the ring at 9. Back and forth fisticuffs, and Ryback backs Owens into the ropes. The ref steps in to break it up, but Ryback's gonna get his money's worth, and doesn't break until 4. The ref has really buried his shoulder in Ryback's ribs to back him off, and thus, he does not see Owens reach up and poke Ryback in the eye.
  
  Needless to say, Ryback is wobbly, so Owens just shoves him off into the ropes, and on the rebound, he hits the pop-up powerbomb. Ryback got less elevation than Mark Henry did. Ahem.
  
  Regardless, Owens gets the pin and retains the IC Title in an 8 minute match that would have been more at home on a Monday night. But here, it serves as the throwaway palate cleanser before the main event. Not bad, or anything, but I mean, c'mon, you know.... and it didn't help that the announcers completely whiffed on the eyepoke, which was a pretty important part of the narrative, here.
  
  
• Brock Lesnar pins the Undertaker to win a violent Cell Match. Lesnar enters first, with Heyman at his side, and makes an entire circuit of the outside of the Cell, as if inspecting it. But then he jumps inside. Heyman stays outside.
  
  Then Taker enters, and makes no circuit. He just pauses before entering to  do his standard bit of  Trick Lighting and Hat Removal. Then he, too, gets into the Cell, and he, himself, is the one to slam the Cell door shut. Lesnar is not fazed. In fact, he's smiling as he goes for a prematch staredown. The smile fades after a Throat Slit, but then returns.
  
  The bell rings, and Brock breaks out a Lesnar Shuffle, as he's on the balls of his feet, ready to use his speed to evade the Deadman's step-slow-ness. He does side step the first flurry, and then the second. But on the third try, Taker reaches out and snares him, backing Lesnar into a corner.
  
  Punches by Taker, but Lesnar snuffs that out with some knees. Lesnar hooks up for a German Suplex, but Taker manages to fall back and his leverage sends Brock tumbling out of the ring,a nd into the Cell. After some fists are trading, Taker gets the better of it, and whips Lesnar into the ring post.
  
  Even though Lesnar clearly blocked it with his hand (to the point that the announcers had to acknowledge it), Lesnar comes up bleeding from the forehead. Someone's gonna get fined. And someone's not gonna give a shit.
  
  Taker holds the advantage as the tour of ringside continues, but as soon as he goes for a chair and takes things back into the ring, Lesnar hits a double leg takedown, and starts swinging the chair. In keeping with "WWE Policy," Taker sort of puts a hand up, but not really. Somebody else is getting fined. And somebody else is not gonna give a shit.
  
  I've got cash money that says Taker and Lesnar have gone into business for themselves a bit. Anyone want to bet me?
  
  Trainers do come in to clean up Lesnar's wound a bit, but luckily, the chairshots have put Taker down long enough that it doesn't really create a problem. Lesnar just goes right back to swinging the chair at Taker's head, and throwing Taker into the Cell.
  
  Now, Taker is also bleeding from the forehead. Somebody's getting fined twice, while still giving zero shits.
  
  The tide finally turns when Brock goes for another suplex (outside the ring), and Taker counters it into an overhead throw of his own. After that, Taker's in good shape, and takes the match back into the ring for more conventional offense. Pretty punchy-kicky, but extremely believable.
  
  BUt after about 2 minutes, Lesnar sidesteps a charge, goes behind, and SUPLEX CITY~! One German. Two Germans.
  
  Three Germans.
  
  And the F-5 lands.
  
  Undertaker kicks out at TWWWOOOOOOOOO. Trainers pick this moment to get in to check on both guys.... but Lesnar is not having any of it. He dumps both trainers, and grabs Taker for another F-5.
  
  Taker kicks out again. Lesnar realizes he needs to step it up, and goes out to  get the top portion of the steel steps. He brings them into the ring, and rams them into Taker's head.
  
  Taker kicks out again. Lesnar decides to crush Taker's ankle with the ringsteps... but Taker rolls out of the way. Lesnar keeps stalking, though, and turns the steps over (so the indentation is pointing down) and plans to pin Taker under the steps.... but Taker kicks up, and sends the steps up into Lesnar's face
  
  Both men down. No count from the ref, though, as this is pins and submissions only.... Lesnar is first to his feet, and goes over to Taker. Reaches down.
  
  Taker reaches up, and yanks Lesnar's wrist down into the Hell's Gate.... he got the submission win over Lesnar at SummerSlam with that hold. But this time, Lesnar's desperation allows him to escape and then rain down blows on Taker's head and shoulders. Taker is almost KO'd, and Lesnar ponders his next move.
  
  His next move is to rip the canvas, and pull up the padding underneath. He exposes a section of  wood planks.... but before he can do anything, Taker hits the Zombie Sit-Up, and hits Lesnar with a chokeslam onto the exposed hardwood.
  
  No pinfall attempt, but Taker instead stalks and waits for Lesnar to get to his feet.... and then he hoists him up for a Tombstone. Taker is aiming for the exposed wood, but misses by a bit (it's probably for the best) although the announcers sell it like he hit the wood.
  
  Lesnar kicks out at 2. Now Taker's not sure how to proceed. He decides to keep it simple. Throat Slit, and he's going for another Tombstone... but instead, Lesnar hits an uppercut to the ballsac, same as Taker did at SummerSlam, but this time: it's legal.
  
  Taker crumples to the mat. Lesnar hoists him back up, and hits the F-5 onto the exposed wooden planking. One. Two. And yep, THREE!
  
  Brock Lesnar wins the rubber match. A very good, very dramatic 20 minute brawl that had a bunch of blood and questionable chairshots. In other words: Ultraviolence. TV-PG be damned!
  
  The Cell raises up, so Heyman can join Lesnar in celebrating. But with Lesnar on wobbly knees, it's less a celebration and more a half-stumble up the ramp. They look back once, and Lesnar locks eyes with Taker. Taker gives him a little half-salute that seemed to say "Dammit, you got me with my own move." But it's less clear if it was "You got me with my own move, you magnificent bastard," or "You got me with my own move, and I won't let that stand." Hmmmm...
  
  But then, with Lesnar gone, Undertaker's alone in the ring, and slowly regains his feet, as the crowd give him a huge ovation, and eventually, a "THANK YOU TAKE HER" chant.
  
  Taker salutes all four sides of the ring, and is about to leave.... and then...
  
  PREGNANT BELLY FREEZE FRAME~! They're here~!
  
  The Wyatt Family, four-strong with Haper/Rowan/Strowman flanking Bray, surround the ring.
  
  With Bray shouting orders, the other three jump in and absolutely decimate Taker. Looks like Undertaker's not the only one who knows how to get revenge for losing at WrestleMania. Ahem.
  
  After those three do their business, Bray joins in for a few cheapshots. And then, it gets interesting, as the Wyatts carrying Taker's body out of the ring and up the ramp (in a cruicifix pose, no less).
  
  The final image is a single spotlight on Taker's body (arms outstretched, on the shoulders of Harper/Rowan/Strowman) leaving the arena. And then, we fade to black....
  

And so ends the show. The main event fight would have been enough of a compelling climax... the Wyatts run-in turns it into an ultra-compelling cliff-hanger.
 
Granted, with WWE's track record the last 10 years, it'll take them 24 hours to turn all that interest and good will from the fans into bored annoyance, but for now, let's enjoy the shocking turn of events!
 
Is it leading to a slow con, in which Taker is actually brainwashed into joining the Wyatts (Survivor Series is next, and Taker joining them would make for one hell of a story behind a traditional 5-on-5, with Kane/Reigns/Ambrose/Two Others on the other side).... or is it an entirely shorter term story, with Taker escaping the Wyatts and fighting against them (it would have to be 4-on-4, probably) at Survivor Series? Each one has pros and cons, but for now, I'm just enjoying the "Holy Shit" Factor of it all.
 
As the main event played out, I actually got the impression that things were laid out, on purpose, to include the blood and gore, since the trainers turned into part of the storyline. So my smarky jokes about people getting fined are probably off-target.... well, unless Vince just signed off on it all, with the understanding that they'd still have to pay fines so WWE can save face, or something like that. Either way, a fine example of how -- if you claim to be in the business of presenting a combat sport, even if it is predetermined -- maybe you shouldn't be trying to turn a product about two men settling differences in anti-social ways into a PG-rated product for 8 year olds. It's intellectually dishonest to think that men punching each other in the face should ever be packaged for and aimed at kids... it doesn't have to be wall-to-wall shock value, like 18 years ago, but the format must allow for an inherently violent enterprise to show it's true colors.

But that's a complete digression, and I apologize.
 
The other Cell match was also very good, the night's second best. And the surprise return of Alberto del Rio is easily the night's third major headline, even if the match itself was no great shakes.
 
Tag title match, women's match, and preshow match were all very entertaining affairs, a notch above what you see on a Monday night. WWE Title Match probably deserves that same basic praise, but again, it's hard to give the same praise when the underlying conditions were so different (e.g. the fact that the outcome of the WWE Title match was as close to a foregone conclusion as you're gonna get in a PPV World Title Match).
 
Only the IC Match really stood out as utterly forgettable. And that's more than counter-balanced to two different mind-bendingly memorable twists, two separate excellent brawls, and mostly solid action elsewhere.
 
Very good show, with bits and pieces that are well worthy your time to seek out on the youtubes, if you didn't watch. I'm gonna say still enough chinks in the armor here and there to knock to down to a final grade of A-minus, but honestly, that's nothing to sneeze at.
 
See you again in 24, kids!