I figured the low price would mean some degradation of quality, but I also scoured the intarnetz, and arrived at the conclusion that I possessed the culinary skill to make it work. The trick, supposedly, was a low and slow braise (after a very quick sear to brown the outside), and that was gonna result in fork-tender deliciousness, almost like a pork shoulder...
 
But it didn't. And I'm quite confident I did it right. It definitely got rid of some of the gnarliery looking bits of gristle, which melted down and rendered, but the main masses of meat were pretty much shoe leather... granted, it was still tasty shoe leather, because I had plenty of garlic, mushrooms, and onion in there with the braising liquid (red wine and beef stock). But while the flavor was a win, the texture was not even worth the $8. It was really just $5 lamb stew parts, in chop form.
 
Any advice? I mean, besides just "Forget it, and pay the damned $13 for real lamb chops, Scaia." Because if that's all you got, I'm probably one step ahead of you. Not happily, but grudgingly. Still, I'd really like to know if there's a way to deal with Lamb Shoulder to get a result that is better than stew meat, or if this is some scam by Big Lamb to trick us into paying for stew meat (which is fine when used for stew) in a different package.
 
On the upside, my trademark rice pilaf was as foolproof as ever, and I've really honed in on an excellent cucumber salad recipe, so dinner was still not without highlights, and put me in a fine mood, as I sat down to watch me some wrestling.

 
With that said, here's what happened at the just-completed Elimination Chamber 2015 Network Exclusive Event:

• On the Preshow. First order of business, it was announced that Rusev's injury is severe enough to keep him out of action tonight. It's actually a fractured foot, which sounds like it'll keep him out of action for a while. A replacement is being arranged, as we speak (Kane is working the phones, and as he does, he also gets a visit from the New Day, and he rewards them for their run-in on SmackDown by revealing that all three of them will be allowed to enter the Chamber Match for the tag titles).
  
  Second order of business, a bonus match: Zack Ryder vs. Stardust, in a battle for ultimate futility. In the end, Ryder's long standing history of jobbery trumped Stardust's recent short-term losing streak. Which is to say, Ryder succeeded at losing. Stardust wins the inoffensive little 5 minute match.
  
  Third order of business, a backstage interview with Dean Ambrose, which is nothing groundbreaking until Roman Reigns wanders up, and after a little smalltalk about who'll get the beers and the ice, he reveals that -- because of Kane, J, the other J, and maybe even HHH -- it'd be his honor to stand in Ambrose's corner and have his back. Ambrose accepts, and with all this talk of heel turns, we just got us a new wrinkle to the main event.
  
  Fourth order of business, it's MizTV with Daniel Bryan as the special guest. Miz tries to paint himself as the real victim here, because he put so much time and effort into mentoring Bryan on NXT, and now Bryan's gone and pissed it all away by getting injured and retiring.
  
  Bryan finally got a word in edgewise, and said, NOT SO FAST, because he is NOT retired, and swears he will wrestle again. Miz says, OK, but in the meantime, Bryan could be capitalizing on his popularity, and Miz would be happy to loan out his team of publicists, make-up artists, stylists, and so forth, because Bryan looks RIDICULOUS dressed like "one of them." [Said the guy who was wearing some sort of bathrobe/capri pants/combat boots combo.]
  
  Bryan has finally sat there and heard enough, and says that MizTV is boring, so he arranged for a special surprise, you know, to spice things up... he snaps his fingers, and Macho Mandow and AxelMania hit the ring, and win a quick brawl. Bryan joins in for the Posedown.
  
  Quick brainstorm: since none of them are doing anything of substance, how about we revive the Sandow/Miz feud, leading up to a match where Miz's identity is once again on the line... this time, if he loses, he must become "Mizz Elizabeth," dress in drag, and be the valet for the MetaPowers. Is that anything?
  
  Then, JBL takes us on a quick tour of the Chamber, which has been lowered to the ring in anticipation of the tag title match kicking off the event.
  
  
• Opening Theme/Pyro/Etc., and we're live in Corpus Christi, TX, where Cole & The Gang welcome us, and then shoot it to the ring, where Lilian Garcia has finally returned from knee surgery, and announces the participants in our opening match. Boots that go up to mid-thigh are not my bag, honey, but I'll allow it if they're hiding an unsightly brace/bandage. But mostly: Welcome Back from the 0.07% of us who actually, genuinely missed you~! I mean, Joey Jo Jo Shabbado Junior is a perfectly delightful talent, and I look forward to enjoying her work in the future. But every since the first "Wayne's World" movie, I've been VERY comfortable with my disdain for change. Change is evil, and everybody knows it. Ergo, as far as OO is concerned, it's really, really nice to have you back, Lilian. 
   
  
• The New Day retain the Tag Team Titles in an Elimination Chamber Match against the Prime Time Players, Cesaro/Tyson Kidd, the Lucha Dragons, Los Matadores, and the Ascension. The Lucha Dragons and the Ascension start things off in a revival of their NXT Tag Title feud... Cesaro/Kidd, the Prime Time Players, Los Matadores, and the New Day are locked in pods. Of note: tonight, the intervals between pod openings is cut down from the traditional 5 minutes to 4 minutes. Also of note: El Torito is ALSO allowed to enter the Chamber, so that means the New Day aren't the only trio.
  
  About 2 minutes of random back-and-forthy action, and then Kalisto decides to go for the first big move of the match, climbing up on top of the New Day's pod... but the roof of the pods is just the chain link (same as the walls of the chamber), not solid, so the New Day reach up and yank Kalisto's leg down into their pod.
  
  He's trapped. Sin Cara goes up top on a more friendly pod (Cesaro and Kidd's) and takes out both Konnor and Viktor with a cross body. Meantime, with all three guys down, the New Day are keeping Kalisto on top of their pod.
  
  The clock counts down, and Cesaro and Kidd enter. They dispatch Sin Cara, and then focus their attention on the Ascension. Once they've been taken out, Kidd tries to go get Kalisto. Kalisto fights out, and Kidd crashes to the mat.
  
  Cesaro climbs up, and plasters Kalisto with an uppercut, and then deadlift superplexes him off the top of the cage. Holy Shit #1.
  
  And then, the pace just picks up, and any play-by-play would be selling the match short. Los Matadores are next to be released, and El Torito joins in for a big brawl... Kalisto escapes by climbing to the top of the Chamber (the very top, in the middle of the ring), and waiting until the pile of bodies underneath him is large enough to catch him safely.
  
  He flies off and takes out everybody. The Matadores take glancing blows, and get a heat sequence... but when they try to organize a triple team (with Torito), the Ascension poop the party and lawn darting the mascot, and then pinning a Matadore after the Fall of Man.
  
  The Lucha Dragons interrupt the Ascension's celebration with stereo dropkicks, but less then 30 seconds later, another Fall of Man, and another elimination.
  
  The Ascension get the better of Cesaro and Kidd in their brief interaction, and then the Prime Time Players are unpodded. They immediately dominate the Ascension and score a pinfall after about 90 seconds.
  
  Cesaro and Kidd have had time to recover, and rejoin the fight. The highlight of their two and a half minute fight is a triple stack superplex in which Darren Young took the worst of it. But Cesaro and Kidd landed hard, too. Titus tried to capitalize, but he ate an uppercut, and all four men were down when the New Day were finally added to tthe match.
  
  They ostensibly have a 3-on-2 advantage in a normal tag match... but here, they're at a 4-on-3 disadvantage, because Cesaro, Kidd, and the PTPs decide to work together. It builds up to an awesome 4-on-3 triple suplex in themiddle of the ring. Holy shit, indeed.
  
  Continuing to work together, the four good guys grab Eggsavier Woods and lock him back in a pod. But the teamwork is shortlived...  as Cesaro's attention was on Kofi Kingston, Kofi hit a flash kickk to stun Cesaro, and Darren Young took advantage with a quick roll-up. Cesaro and Kidd eliminated. Now, it's down to the New Day vs. the PTPs.
  
  As the fight continues, Big E manages to unlock Woods' pod, so it's back to 3-on-2, now. That's good for the New Day, until Titus dodges a charge, and Big E crashes though a pod. Flurry for the PTPs, building up to  Young's double knee gutbuster on Kofi for a convincing near fall.
  
  Lots of slams and suplexes out on the steel outside the ring, and it seems to boil down to Titus and Big E, power vs. power. But when things break in Titus' favor, both Woods and Kofi rejoin the fight, while Young remains KO'd outside the ring.
  
  Advantage: New Day. Big E takes Titus down, Woods grabs his legs to prevent him from getting up, and Kofi hits a low Trouble in Paradise. All three pile on, and get the pin.
  
  The finish was a bit of a downer, because I don't think the fans bought into the PTPs as credible winners... so as soon as Cesaro and Kidd were eliminated, it didn't matter how great the action still was: the fans were just waiting for the inevitable heel victory.
  
  But still, one hell of a 25 minute opener.
  
  
• Backstage: after a recap package explaining Rusev's injury, Dolph Ziggler saunters up to Lana, and says it's a shame about that, because he was really looking forward to pinning Rusev en route to his IC Title victory. Lana says that doesn't matter, because she's done with Rusev, she's not gonna waste her energy thinking of ways to humiliate him... she past him, and looking to the future. Dolph gets the message and stops talking trash about the ex, because he's actually in good possition to be the next, if he just plays his cards right. Dolph suggests that maybe they could get together later tonight and discuss the future after he goes out there and wins the title. Lana very much likes the sound of that.
  
  
• Nikki Bella retains the Women's Title over Naomi and Paige. Initially, Paige and Nikki are willing to work together, because of their shared dislike of Naomi. So Naomi realizes that "divide and conquer" is the only way to go... she yanks Nikki out of the ring, and throws her into the commentary desk.
  
  Thus begins an extended Paige/Naomi one-on-one segment. Naomi's in command for a bit, but when Paige stages a comeback, Nikki's able to get back in the ring and break things up. For about 90 seconds, all three women are involved, but then Nikki powders out again after Naomi throws her into the ring post.
  
  The one-on-one is a bit shorter this time, and when Naomi sets up for a superplex, Nikki rolls into the ring and gets under them, powerbombing Naomi (and taking Paige along for the superplex). More back and forthy three-way action, and the women start hitting bigger moves... Nikki sets up for a Rack Attack on Paige, but Naomi hits the Rear View to break it up... Paige takes out Naomi, and locks the PTO on Nikki... Naomi has to break it up, and takes out Paige with an inverted rana thingie.. but then, as she celebrates that innovation, Nikki strikes from behind, and seals the deal with the Rack Attack on Naomi.
  
  Champ retains after a decent little 8-9 minute match. Definitely plenty of effort, but a few sloppy spots keep this from reaching the level of NXT's women's matches, which also have the effort, but are also just so tight and crisply performed. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that the NXT women's job is to TRAIN, every day, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, so they are getting tons of reps in together, where as the job of a WWE Diva is a lot of traveling and personal appearances and stuff.  Not to single Nikki out for not having that same foundation to fall back on, but in the macro, we are DEFINITELY getting closer to the day when the entire division will be cut of the same cloth... perhaps not all Workrate Darlings or equal in skill, but all with the same foundation and familiarity so that everything just looks, y ou know?, better.
  
  
• Kevin Owens upsets John Cena by completely, totally, 100% CLEAN PINFALL, in a legit Match of the Year Candidate. It's NXT Champ vs. US Champ, but apparently, neither title is on the line... I'd thought the US Title was up for grabs, since this stemmed from the US Open Challenge, but nope. That actually opens up the very slim possibility of Owens winning... very VERY slim.
  
  The CC crowd is definitely a more Cena-friendly one... wanker density is much higher in bigger cities, that's for sure. The flip side of that is that, while there is still a vocal "Cena Sucks" crowd, there's no real significant interest in Owens. A smarter crowd would create a ton of electricity by getting behind Owens and manufacturing Big Fight Feel... but here, the 10% of the crowd who know who Owens is aren't enough to offset the rest. Out of the gate, the reaction to Owens is mostly just the pro-Cena kids-and-ladies booing him in a vaguely detached, obligatory way. Not like they actually think he poses a threat.
  
  But after a fast start from Cena ("welcome to the bigs, kid"), Owens survives the opening flurry and starts landing shots of his own. And thanks to Cena selling everything like he's just been murdered, the booing takes on an increased air of immediacy, AND some of the fans who are "smart" enough to boo Cena (but not advanced enough to be familiar with Owens) start to realize that the big fat schlub might be worth getting behind.
  
  It's still not the level of electricity that you'd see in pretty much any other PPV-sized city, but it shows that these two are putting in the work and getting the desired reaction.
  
  Owens gains in credibility over the course of a 5-6 minute heel beatdown, capped off by a convincing near fall after a rolling cannonball into the corner. Shortly after that, his taunting of the crowd costs him the advantage, as Cena rattles off his Five Moves of Doom.
  
  But after the Five Knuckle Shuffle hits, Cena goes for the F-U, only to have Owen escape, shove Cena off into the ropes, and catches him on to rebound with the Pop-Up Powerbomb.
  
  Cena kicks out. Back and forth punchy-kicky, and Cena regains the advantage, and sets Owens up for a superplex... but Owens fights him off, and Cena crashes to the mat. Owens, standing on the second rope, jumps up and spins around to land on the top rope (HOLY SHIT) and comes off with a moonsault all in one smooth motion.
  
  Cena rolls out of the way, and follows up with a flash F-U... and Owens kicks out! Cena with more punchy-kicky as he tries to figure out what to do next... and what he comes up with is walking into a vicious superkick from Owens. Whoops.
  
  Owens surveys the scene, and decides to go for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Bad idea... Cena picks the ankle, and cinches in the SSTF. Owens scrambles and gets a pretty quick rope break.
  
  Cena sets up for the F-U again, but Owen counters it and hits and F-U OF HIS OWN! Cena kicks out, and Owens sells frustration. He decides to set up for a superplex of his own... but Cena fights him off and turns it into a Tornado DDT.
  
  Owens kicks out. Cena goes up top, and hits the flying leg drop. Owens kicks out again. Cena wants another F-U, but Owens fights out, and hits a wicked modified lockdown powerbomb. Cena kicks out.
  
  Owens has had the starch taken out of him, too, so they do a quick reset, both men getting to their feet at the same time. They trade punches, and Owens gets the better of it... but then Cena ducks a clothesline, and comes off the ropes with his Springboard Stunner.
  
  And Owens kicks out AGAIN~! After the big pop, there's stunned silence as Cena wins the battle of fisticuffs, and once again takes the fight up to the top rope. What now?
  
  Cena's got a superplex in mind, but Owens fights him off and insstead, turns it into a spinning top rope brainbuster. Cena kicks out. Owens wastes no time, and just runs to the opposite corner, gets up top, and hits a Senton Bomb. Cena kicks out AGAIN.
  
  Another back and forth grapple, with Cena regaining the edge, and stepping back for a clothesline. Owens ducks, and Cena hits the ropes, and bounces back and walks right into another Pop-Up Powerbomb. This time, with extra elevation and extra stank.
  
  And this time, there is no kick out. Kevin Owens wins an absolutely awesome 20 minute match that may be in the Match of the Year discussion in 6 months... even with the slow start and the winning-over process, it was just that amazing by the end, with a mind-blowing surprise finish.
  
  Hell, maybe the winning-over-process was a good thing, because let's face it: fans like us are not the norm. We're freaks. The average viewer went on the exact same ride as the fans in Corpus Christi, and maybe that made things more accessible/less confusing than if a crowd had been red hot for Owens from the get-go...
  
  Anyway, see this match if you didn't.
  
  Owens tags it with a quickie promo, calling back to Cena's promo...  he says the world saw Kevin Owens start a fight with John Cena, but now, they've seen him finish it. Nothing really groundbreaking there, but after calling his shot and getting it done, he's allowed to gloat, no matter how forgettably.
  
  
• Neville beats Bo Dallas. This probably would have fit better as a preshow match, but here, it gets to serve as a catch-your-breath cool down match. It's got its high spots, but even Neville is working chinlocks and slower stuff. Obviously, Dallas' offense is all knee-related leglocks (playing off Neville's pre-existing injury), too.
  
  After about 5 minutes, Neville stages his comeback from the knee-releated assault, and we get an abbreviated End Game in which Dallas got one near fall after a DDT, and then Neville countered the Bo Dog and hit the Red Arrow for the win.
  
  Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. But the predictable paint-by-numbers layout, predictable outcome, and placement after Owens/Cena means that no matter how acceptable, it was also destined to be a letdown.
  
  
• Backstage: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are hanging out, and Triple H walks in on them, and says he heard about Reigns' little plan to get involved in tonight's main event. He says the Kane and J&J are all cleared to be at ringside in their "Official Capacities." But Reigns just goes and puts himself at ringside to be a nuisance?
   
  Nope. HHH says he's banning Reigns from ringside, and further more, if Reigns does try to interfere, Dean Ambrose will be instantly disqualified.
   
  He asks if we're clear? And we are. And just like that, the wrinkle gets a new wrinkle, because you could -- if you wanted -- read a certain subtext into that conversation in which HHH just told Roman Reigns how to make sure Ambrose loses, if you catch his drift...
  
  
• Ryback wins the vacant InterContinental Title inside the Elimination Chamber, outlasting Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, King Barrett, R-Truth, and replacement entry Mark Henry. Daniel Bryan comes out first, carrying the IC Title belt.. he's gonna sit at ringside and then present it to the winner.
  
  Then, next out: the Mystery Entrant is the first to be introduced... it's Mark Henry, and although he's replacing a heel, he gets mroe of a babyface reaction as he hits the ring and gets into a pod. Don't know if that's his planned role, or just the Texas Connection working in his favor.
  
  Then Sheamus, then Truth, then Ryback. So that means it'll be Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett starting the match.
  
  Bell rings, and rather than a usual flashy start for Ziggler, he just outright  challenges Barrett to old school grappling. Barrett wins that, and keeps the pace methodical for most of the opening segment.
  
  As the clock started counting down to our first unpoddening, Ziggler finally got on track and got flashy, with a dropkick and a Stinger Splash, but when he went for a Fameasser, Barrett swatted him away, and dumped Ziggler onto the steel outside the ring.
  
  So Dolph's powdered out as Truth is released from  his pod. Barrett doesn't even let Truth out of the pod, though, assaulting him as soon as he steps out and pummelling him back into it. Then, fully in control, Barrett takes Truth on a tour of the various steel elements on that side of the ring.
  
  Ziggler has gotten to his knees, and that catches Barrett's eye, so he goes over and kicks Ziggler's ass for a moment... but Truth recovers, and gets the better of Barrett when the two re-engage. This gives Ziggler time to recover, and as soon as Truth and Barrett start hitting big moves (Lie Detector, Winds of Change), Ziggler gets involved and tries to pick one of them off.
  
  It doesn't work. Barrett once again destroys Ziggler, and takes him back outside the ring, and drives him into Mark Henry's pod, breaking it. Henry wants to enter the match, but the ref gives him a Finger Wag of No. But as Barrett continues kicking ass on two fan favorites, the Home State Texas Crowd urges Henry on, and he decides to get into the fight. It's No DQ, so why not?
  
  A few seconds later, Ryback is released, and all of a sudden Barrett's in bad shape against four guys who all hate him. But apparently, there's no honor among Babyfaces, and at first, they can't agree on who will eliminate Barrett. But then, they finally realize that their in-fighting is stupid when Barrett regains command against Henry.
  
  So Ryback hits a Meathook, Ziggler with a Zig Zag, and Truth finishes things off with a Lie Detector. King Barrett is eliminated.
  
  The four half-heartedly start brawling with each other, until Sheamus' pod is lit up, indicating he is next to enter... but his door is stuck, and he can't enter the ring. Huh.
  
  The four fan favorites realize they might have to keep fighting, and a plan materializes in which Ziggler/Ryback/Truth agree to team up on Henry, who is the biggest threat (in a literal, mass-related, sense). But after a flurry of moves on Henry, Ryback betrays the alliance by flattening Truth with a Meathook and hitting the Shellshock to eliminate him.
  
  Henry is still down after the 3-on-1, so Ryback and Ziggler go at it for a bit. When they collide, mid-ring, and both go down, Sheamus suddenly gets a big smile on his face... he jimmies his pod door, and it's unclear from the camera shots we got, but I THINK the story here is that Sheamus used his big cross (that he wears for his ring entrance) to jam the pod, and now, he removes it, and finally enters the match with all three of his opponents down and out.
  
  First, he takes Ziggler out by putting him through another pod door, and then dumps Ryback onto the hard steel floor of the Chamber. Henry shows a moment of fire, but eats a Brogue Kick, and is eliminated.
  
  For the next 5 minutes, Sheamus (mostly successfully) plays a game of isolation, dominating Ryback, then focusin on Ziggler before he can fully recover, and then repeating the process.
  
  Ziggler's the one who finally breaks the pattern, getting his wits back about him before Sheamus can disengage from Ryback... but Ziggler's sneak attack fails miserably, as Sheamus avoids a Stinger Splash, and when Ziggler stumbles out of the corner, he gets a Brogue Kick. Bye bye, Dolph. Enjoy Lana as your consolation prize, you jerkface.
  
  Sheamus is initially able to go back and get the better of Ryback, but Ryback starts to fire up, so Sheamus snuffs that out by going back to his pod, and grabbing that silver cross again. A shot to Ryback's throat, and he's in control again. Sheamus gets a near fall after White Noise on the steel.
  
  But after another minute or two of stompy stompy, Sheamus goes for the Ten of Clubs, and Ryback gets fed up... he catches Sheamus' incoming forearm and flips him over onto the unforgiving steel. Spinebuster onto the steel. Then, a double clutch powerbomb, first driving Sheamus into the Chamber wall, and then into the ring.
  
  Then, Ryback hits Shellshock, and wins his first singles title. I'm calling that an upset, as I had Ryback only ahead of Truth on the Credible Winner Rankings... but given Owens' win and the likely outcome of the main event, you probably did have to have a babyface win in at least ONE of the top three matches. Neville and Nikki ain't sendin' 'em home happy... plus, with the MitB PPV in just two weeks, it's not like you have to keep the title on Ryback for the long term if he doesn't light the world on fire.
  
  Very fine 20 minute match, but still third best of the night, so far.
  
  
• Speaking of Money in the Bank: we are told that Kevin Owens has just agreed to a rematch against John Cena... and on top of that, we've got the first 6 entrants for the actual MitB Match. Roman Reigns and Randy Orton are the clear early favorites, with Sheamus having an outside shot. But I expect Dolph Ziggler, Neville, and Kofi Kingston are just in there as "specialists," to do amazing things with ladders. I mean, hell: a tag team champ in MitB? That's blatant Stunt Casting.
   
  And I'm not complaining one bit. It's already shaping up to be awesome. At least two slots still open, too. Maybe four; 8 guys is the standard configuration lately, but they have done 10-man versions before, and since the title unification about 18 months ago, I think it makes sense to go a bit bigger.
  
  
• Dean Ambrose beats Seth Rollins, via intentional disqualification Dusty Finish; Rollins' retains the title, but Ambrose still leaves with the belt. Champion enters first, with Kane, Noble, and Mercury. Ambrose enters last, with 10,000 fans clearly in his corner. But when Lilian does the full boxing-style ring introductions, the champ does get announced last.
  
  On my clock, the bell rings at 10:33pm (eastern), which seems late... but then I also can't know for sure how much time I lost to all the lag and stuttering I've had tonight on my stream. It's nowhere near as bad as Payback, but it's still a problem that could have cost me as much as 5-6 minutes (and which I don't get when watching non-live Network programming, or Netflix, or HBO Go, or MLB.tv, or anything, so I'm 100% confident this is an issue at WWE's end, since it even intensifies during big matches/"high leverage" moments when there must be a strain on their system).
   
  Anyway, let's quit bitching and find out together exactly how long these two plan on fighting for our amusement!
  
  Ambrose immediately gets the upperhand, to the extent that Rollins just dives out of the ring to regroup with J&J. Cole goes for the cheap laugh line by refering to them as "the hobbits." But JBL makes me ACTUALLY LAUGH by reporting that the Iron Sheik has given them a different name: Jabroni & Jabroni Security. Ahhh, Sheik, you rule. [Speaking of Netflix, the Iron Sheik documentary is currently on there, and is WELL worth your time.]
  
  After the regroupening, Ambrose still maintains the advantage for a bit, until J&J get directly involved, running multi-layered distraction/interference to put Rollins in command.
  
  As Rollins pours it on, the fans eventually tire of the "YOU SOLD OUT" chant, and switch over to "JUST TIN BEE BER," so that's not going away. I re-assert that having Bieber and Jon Stewart involved as corner men in Rollins' SummerSlam match would be GOLD. Stewart's freshly retired at that point, and SummerSlam is in his backyard, in NYC; why not rekindle his "feud" with Rollins while bringing Bieber in as the corresponding heat magnet?
  
  Then again, maybe I just want to see Bieber get bitchslapped by somebody who got famous for actually possessing talent.
  
  Rollins' heel beatdown is just fine and dandy, but it's more personality-driven than action-driven, if you catch my drift... he's quite an excellent prick.
  
  At the 10 minute mark, the tide turns after Ambrose and Rollins collide, when both go for crossbody blocks... both men down, and when they get up, Ambrose gains control.
  
  Ambrose's rally continues for a minute or so, until J&J just blatantly yank Rollins otu of the ring, to safety. Or did they?
  
  Instead, Ambrose just steps back, gets a running start, and dives onto the scrum. Again, both men are slow to recover, and when they both get back into the ring, we clearly enter End Game.
  
  Near falls pick up, with a particularly compelling one after Rollins tries to use the ropes for illegal leverage, and the ref actually hits three before spotting the infraction, and waving it off.
  
  Ambrose's next trick is setting up for a superplex, only to have Rollins flip over, and try to turn it into his running turnbucklebomb. Ambrose escapes, the two trade blows, and then Ambrose clotheslines Rollins out of the ring, going out over the top, himself. The two trade blows again, and Ambrose tries his apron-version of the rebound clothesline, but Rollins has it scouted, and turns it into a modified turnbucklebomb, powerbombing Ambrose into the ringside barricade. Whew. That was a lot of action, and a lovely set piece from initial introduction of the turnbuckle bomb spot to the execution of it.
  
  Rollins back in command, and takes it back into the ring. He heads up top and hits a fly-by knee strike for a convincing near fall. But when he gets cocky and again amps up the trashtalk, Ambrose gets pissed off and fires up again. Great back and forth-y exchange as they trade corner attacks, and that finally ends with Ambrose hitting a Tornado DDT for a very close near fall.
  
  Ambrose follows up by hitting his  rope-assist dropkick, but whiffed on the guillotine legdrop attempt. Rollins goes for a springboard move (a Curbstomp, actually, but Cole does not call it by name), but Ambrose dives out of the way and comes back with a Rebound Clothesline. Then up top, and Ambrose hits the standing elbow drop for a near fall.
  
  Ambrose hooks up for the Dirty Deeds, but J&J get up on the apron to create a distraction. Rollins clotheslines Ambrose out of the ring, and follows up with a suicide dive, then immediately throws Ambrose back into the ring and hoists Ambrose up for another Turnbuckle Bomb. But Ambrose kicks out, requiring J&J to once again get involved.
  
  Ambrose takes them both out with a standing elbow from the top rope to the floor, and then flattens Rollins. Ambrose goes up top for another standing elbow, but Rollins pulls the ref into the way. The ref eats it... as Ambrose sells frustration, Rolllins attacks from behind, and gains the advantage.
  
  Rollins goes up top, and tries a twisting moonsault, but Ambrose moves out of the way... Rollins crashes and burns, and Ambrose picks him up and nails the Dirty Deeds.
  
  A new ref runs out and.... COUNTS TO THREE? Yes, he does! Ambrose is the new WWE Champion!!!
  
  New ref hands Ambrose the belt, and he gets to celebrate. But only for about 90 seconds. That's when the first ref gets to his feet and pulls the new ref over for a little meeting. They go back and forth, but from the body language, it's clear that the first ref wants to DQ Rollins for intentionally pulling him into harm's way.
  
  The second ref finally gives up arguing, and the two consult with Lilian... and she gives us the bad news. Dean Ambrose is, indeed, our winner... but via disqualification, so Seth Rollins retains the WWE Title.
  
  BOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!~!~!~! And to a lesser extent, "BUUUUUUUULLLLLL SHIT~!"
  
  Ambrose has no plans on handing over the belt, though... so Rollins, J&J, and eventually Kane all coordinate an attack. They are kicking Ambrose's ass, and that's when Roman Reigns' music hits.
  
  Rollins is anticipating a run-in through the crowd, so he just quickly grabs the belt and scampers up the ramp... but Reigns throws a curveball, and runs down the aisle like a regular joe, and clocks Rollins with a Superman Punch.
  
  As Reigns also takes out Kane, Ambrose plucks the WWE Title from Rollins' hands, and then joins Reigns in taking out J&J, as well.
  
  With his entire crew down and out, Rollins decides to hang back, and do nothing as Ambrose grabs a mic and declares that he won the match, and until someone takes it from him, he's also gonna be holding onto the WWE Title. With Reigns at his side, Ambrose slaps his pal on the shoulder and says, "Tonight, the champ's buying the beers!"
   
  And then, the two leave through the crowd, to Ambrose's music, while Rollins pouts at ringside. The Dusty Finish definitely pissed people off, as it ruined what had been an excellent match (shy of Owens/Cena, but still, very good)... but then they still let Ambrose get the moral victory, to shut down the "bullshit" chants before they could really get off the ground. Clever.
  
  So Ambrose isn't the champ, but him walking out with the belt is the final thing we see before we fade to black.

And so ends the show. I really can't overstate how important the little Ambrose-leaves-with-the-belt ruse is... intellectually, we all know he's not the champ. But the simple gesture of sending him out with the belt COMPLETELY short-circuits that whole "bullshit"/I'm-never-watching-again backlash.
 
WWE is notoriously tone-deaf when it comes to ramming their desired narrative down our throats, to the point that there have been multiple times in the past 18 months when fans thought they might have a legit case to demand refunds. Tonight, there will be none of that, even though they dangled an extremely tantalizing morsel in front of our faces, only to snatch it away. As tone deaf as WWE has shown itself to be in terms of fan reactions that should have been self-evident, this really does count a a remarkable degree of self-awareness and successful disarmament.
 
I wish Ambrose was the champ, because he's my current favorite wrestler. I know I was manipulated into thinking he was the champ, but he's not. But when I finally step back and put on my "smart" hat, I'm not pissed, because it's ABUDENTLY clear that he still "won" tonight, and actually might be in line to REALLY win the title, now. The difference between a Dusty Finish in which Rollins rubs our face in it and a Dusty Finish where Ambrose still gets the moral victory is huge... and it also shows how much us "smart" fans can still be marks, if only WWE puts in the slightest effort to try to think one step ahead of us.
 
Which, for once, they actually did. Excellent effort, which would have been the Match of the Night on most other nights, and the modicum of effort they put into tweaking our reaction to the finish was enough to preserve that sense of I-just-got-my-money-s'-worth.
 
Of course, they're still just pushing back the moment of fan revolt to tomorrow night, when Ambrose has to surrender the belt, afterall, and Rollins DOES rub our faces in it... but hey, a 24 hour cool down period means the full-on Wanker Spaz Out that we saw after the last two Royal Rumbles won't happen. And plus, you can probably do a thing where Ambrose does not just give up the belt AND Rollins rubs our faces in the fact that he's the champ,a ll at the same time, which further lessens the blow. WIth the quick two week turnaround to Money in the Bank, just make Rollins fight to get his trinket back. When Rollins retains again, the sting of the Dusty Finish will be long forgotten, and the new story (whatever it is) will be primary.
 
Speaking of that story... everybody was buzzing about a possible Roman Reigns heel turn, and that didn't happen tonight, even though WWE twice dangled the possibility. Maybe they're just holding that back for two weeks from now? With Reigns entered in the MitB Match, and with Lesnar set to return the week after MitB, you have a LOT of very compelling, very valid options for how to position these guys, and things could get really interesting in terms of the WWE Title picture... I mean, on one hand, the easiest path is to make sure that of these four guys (Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Lesnar), two are heels and two are faces, which means either trying to re-establish Lesnar as a heel (when his last appearance was as a face) or turning Reigns... but you could also run the Long Con with these four, with tweeners and swerves and all kind of twists that finally resolves when Lesnar is just so damned dominant a force that the only way to counter him is by the Shield reuniting... delicious, delightful options, my friends!
 
Owens vs. Cena was just amazing. No words I could type will add to your understanding of it. So if you didn't, just go watch it. The youtubes will be lousy with it by now.
 
Tag Chamber Match was the better of the two, which I didn't expect... I don't know if some of it was atmospherics and the crowd not being ready to buy into another match after Owens/Cena, or the crowd feeling like they'd already seen the main "tricks" of the Chamber adn the gimmick not being fresh enough to carry 20+ minutes, or what... but at the end of the day, both were still pretty good, with the tag match also being worthy of your time, I think.
 
Neville/Dallas and the women's three-way were perfectly fine, but have probably already been forgotten by folks who watched the show. C'est la vie. Though I have to admit that this rumor about a "Nexus Reboot," with NXT women getting together to invade the main roster would instantly refocus my attention on that particular division, if there's any truth to it. WWE dot com even just did a write-up, calling Charlotte/Sasha/Becky/Bayley the "Four Horsewomen"... personally, I'd leave Bayley out, becaus she's just too amazing at being adorable to play a heel thu, but it'd be the easiest thing in the world to re-cast Paige as being NXT-loyal, since her first appearance on WWE TV, she was still the NXT Women's Champ... and then, the eventual power-struggle/break-up is already in place, since I think Paige vs. Charlotte would have more than enough gravitas (with Becky obviously siding with Paige, because delightful foreign accents~!, and Sasha re-uniting with Charlotte, once it's time to integrate the group into the main roster's heel/face alignment).
 
But I digress. The Lady Nexus is just rumors at this point, and has no bearing on our final assessment of the Elimination Chamber event.
 
So let's step back and make that assessment... four genuinely solid matches, one of them excellent, and another a potential Match of the Year? That's nothing to sneeze at. I'll just go ahead an hand out a final grade of A. Not A-plus, because you gotta do EVERYthing, including the little things (like have the entire undercard provide value, instead of being forgettable), to get the plus.
 
But hey, an A is an A. Good times.
 
See you in 24 for the RAW Recap!