The thing is, we've kind of been in Phase Three of Late Night for 10, maybe 12 years... so it got real easy to look past Dave and use your DVR space on other shows. But now that we're down to the final few shows, I haven't missed Dave once in the last few weeks.
 
I mention it, because of an item on his Top 10 List on Thursday... it was "Top 10 Things Overheard at the Olive Garden Test Kitchen." And the gist of the list was that the Olive Garden only employs incompetent ninnies trying to pander to even more incompetent eaters.
 
But one of the items was "Uhhhhh, have we tried Deep Fried Lasagna yet?" And my kneejerk reaction was to laugh at how not-very-good Olive Garden is, and how their low-standards-having clientele probably WOULD fall for that.
 
But then I thought, "Wait, that might be awesome, in kind of a State Fair sort of way." I even, myself, have perfected a pan-fried mac 'n' cheese that is definitely a guilty pleasure, but which is also genuinely tasty. How far a fall is it, really, to Deep Fried Lasagna?
 
Anyone else with me? Anyone else want me to put my not-insignificant culinary skills to use on this and report back to you? I figure the only real trick would be to make thin slices, so it's hot all the way through without being toast on the outside (you can't do bite-sized, because the whole point of lasagna is that its layers, and if I do this, I'm going to honor the actually meaning of "lasagna" and not just puss out and put lasagna ingredients into a bite sized ball; I will do it up right), but honestly, this seems doable, and I'm sort of surprised it's not already a thing.
 
Let me know, and I'll see if I get motivated in the near future... in the meantime, a sincere thanks to Letterman for being an absolutely huge and influential part of my youth and young manhood (my dad started VCR'ing Dave and letting me watch it, starting with his 4th Anniversary special on a plane, after which I was hooked despite my very young age; Dave's humor was definitely subversive, but it was never obscene, so it was OK for a 10 year old).I know CBS has announced his Monday and Tuesday guests, but they're keeping his Wednesday finale top secret, so far...
 
The only way this farewell run gets any better is if the Foo Fighters show up. And given who HAS appeared so far in the past month, and who is conspicuously absent, I think I might be in luck. I also think Regis has to be there, too, and that is also fine by me. Regis and the Foos (and maybe a light-hearted cameo by Colbert, but nothing to ham-handed): that works for me.
 
But I digress.  You don't care about what might happen on Wednesday night. You care about what already happened on the just-completed WWE Payback PPV. Well, here you go, Potsie:

• On the Preshow. The first half hour was pointless filler, per standing WWE policy.
  
  The second half hour featured less pointless filler than you might have expected, as WWE added a impromptu bonus match... R-Truth beat Stardust in the rubber match of their little mini-feud (Truth won to advance in KotR, then Stardust won a match using plastic spiders). Though Truth won the 6-minute match, but that magnificent whackjob Stardust won hearts and minds with a hilarious hissy fit in which he removed his glove and started slapping Truth with it, clearly inspired by the Tomacco episode of The Simpsons. You're awesome, Cody.
  
  Then, they did tread a bit of water for 10 minutes, with video packages, an interview with Sheamus, and a visit with the Renee Young-quarterbacked talking heads, before moving on to the previously announced special attraction for the preshow... the "MetaPowers" (Macho Mandow and Axelmania) taking on the Ascension.
  
  Sandow had the same full Macho Man gear/entrance as on Monday, but Axel finally embraced The Full Hulkster, with a blond fu manchu and red and yellow gear. The Ascension jump started the match by attacking Axel, mid-t-shirt-rip, so 20 seconds into the match, Axel Huliked Up and hit the Legdrop o' Doom. Viktor had to come in and break up the fall.
  
  The Ascension then got a time compressed heel beatdown sequence, Axel made the hot tag to Mandow, who cleaned house using signature Randy Savage moves, including the double axe and the leaping  clothesline-the-other-guys-neck-over-the-top-rope... but then reality came crashing down, and the Ascension won a Pier Four Brawl, causing Axel to powder out, and allowing them to doubleteam Sandow. They hit the Fall of Man, and that was that. D'oh.
  
  A video package for the Fourway WWE Title Match closed things out, and then it was time for the PPV, proper...
  
  
• Opening Video/Music/Pyro/Etc... and we're live in Baltimore, MD. Our now-standard PPV crew of Michael Cole, JBL, and Jerry Lawler welcome us, and waste no time shooting it over to Not Lilian Garcia, because it's time to get the action started.
  
  
• Sheamus defeats Dolph Ziggler, via pinfall. During ring entrances, the announcers once again spend altogether too much time explaining how this rematch is because Ziggler is owed a butt-kiss. Ziggler himself has never claimed this (because it's a stupid premise), but the Voice int he Headset has spoken, and as a result, Dolph Ziggler wants another man's lips on his ass.
  
  Bell rings, and Ziggler gets off to a hot start. That lasts for about 90 seconds, and then Sheamus starts imposing his will. Sheamus focuses on Ziggler's right knee, which has the added benefit of grounding Ziggler's aerial antics.
  
  As Sheamus slows things down, I'll take a moment to mention that the video feed has really started stuttering pretty badly since the preshow ended. It seems like I'm getting a 5-10 second freeze every couple of minutes, which is the worst WWE's stream has been since Survivor Series. Boo.
  
  Meantime, Sheamus' offensive continues mostly unabated until Ziggler dodges a corner charge, causing Sheamus to ram into the steel ringpost.  Ziggler starts peppering Sheamus with punches and kicks, but Sheamus won't go down for the first 45 seconds or so, until Dolph goes full-out with a crossbody.
  
  Ziggler's rally builds up to a spike DDT, which earns him his first convicing near fall. The onslaught continues until Ziggler decides to hike up his trunks and rub his ass in Sheamus' face. Oy.
  
  Sheamus freaks out, and goes outside to pour a bottle of water on his face and use a towel to clean up. Ziggler yuks it up, and takes advantage of Sheamus' distraction to hit a Fameasser for another near fall.
  
  But then Ziggler goes for a turnbuckle mount-and-punch, only to have Sheamus counter by hoisting Ziggler up and hitting a powerbomb. Ziggler kicks out at 2. Powerslam follow up by Sheamus; another kick out at 2. White Noise, and right into the Cloverleaf... Ziggler fights it, and manages to get a rope break.
  
  But after the break, Ziggler goes back to selling the right knee... apparently the Cloverleaf did additional damage. Sheamus sees this, and decides he has things well in hand, so he just starts sassmouthing Ziggler, punctuating that with a series of bitchslaps. Ziggler musters up one last flash superkick, but Sheamus kicks out, drops Ziggler with a headbutt (which actually causes Ziggler to start bleedly profusely), and then nails the Brogue Kick.
  
  Sheamus is your winner, and man alive, Ziggler is REALLY gushing blood. Obviously, it was a complete accident, but it did add to the dominant vibe of Sheamus' win.
  
  
• Backstage: Seth Rollins walks into Kane's office, and the two engage in a verbal sparring session, accusing each other of screwing with the other and so forth. Finally, Kane decides, hey, we can argue back and forth all night, but Seth needs to know that Kane enjoys his job, and he doesn't really want to lose it. But he does not NEED this job, so he's not going to sell out; he's got his pride, and he'll still have his pride at the end of the night. What's less certain is whether or not Rollins still has his belt, so maybe Seth had better focus on himself, rather than worry about Kane.
  
  For his part, Rollins retorts by saying that Kane may not need the job, but that if Kane does ANYthing to mess with Rollins tonight, being unemployed will be the least of his worries. Rollins stares daggars at Kane, and the two have a tense moment. But then the New Stooges step in, and try to act menacing, too. Kane just laughs at them and walks away.
  
  
• The New Day retain the WWE Tag Team Titles over Cesaro/Tyson Kidd, 2 falls to 1. The New Day preface the match with a promo in which they talk about how Baltimore has had some tought imes, but tonight, they can prove they're better than other cities by rising above the hate, and Clapping It Up. New DayRocks?
  
  Nope. NEW. DAYSUCKS. 
  
  Match starts, and unfortunately, any hopes that WWE would actually do a proper best of 3 falls match are dashed. After a grand total of 2 minutes, Cesaro and Kidd's hot start results in the Swingus Interruptus, and Kidd pins Kofi.
  
  In between falls, Eggsavier Woods tries to replace Kofi, claiming Freebird Rules, but Nattie runs over and yanks him off the apron. The distraction is enough to allow Kofi and Big E to instantly jumpstart a heel beatdown segment.
  
  Kidd is the Face in Peril. There is a brief Pier Four Brawl when Cesaro has to  break up a doubleteam... but that ends with Big E hitting an awesome between-the-ropes-spear that causes Cesaro to crash backwards into the barricade. Holy shit.
  
  As a result, when Kidd finally gets separation, and crawls over to make the tag, there is no Cesaro there. He's still crumbled on the floor. Kidd fights the good fight, and even gets a near fall off a quick roll-up, but in the end, he can't gain any real traction. Kofi and E hit their double team finisher (actually, they whiffed pretty badly, but they acted like it hit), and it's tied up at 1 fall apiece.
  
  That's right: 2 falls in less than 7 minutes. Because in WWE, wrestlers instantly become sucky jobbers in 3 fall matches. Ugh.
  
  Anyway, as the third fall gets underway, Kidd finds himself in grave danger, which draws the crowd in.... and then they explode when Kidd finally does get the hot tag to Cesaro.
  
  Cesaro goes berzerk with uppercuts, and singlehandedly takes care of both Kofi and Big E for a bit. Woods puts his two cents in, and Kidd rejoins the fight for some sweet sweet chaotic action.
  
  It builds up to a kick-ass doubleteam uppercut (Kidd throws Kofi into the air, and Cesaro catches him on the downswing). Big E has to come in to break it up. Kidd engages Big E, and the ref is distracted trying to get those two out of the ring...
  
  Meantime, Cesaro thinks he has things well in hand as he chucks Kofi out of the ring... but all of a sudden, Woods jumps into the ring and hits a quick roll up on Cesaro. The ref turns around, and is positioned such that he can't see Woods face, so he just assumes it's Kofi... he counts the fall, and just like that, the New Day retain the titles.
  
  Total match time was maybe 12 minutes, which is just pathetic for a 3 falls match. I will never understand why WWE bothers with the stip when they never actually use it... 3 falls should take significantly longer than a 1 fall match, and yet, every time, it ends up being exactly the same length as a single fall would have been.
  
  I'll say this, though: despite that problem, the third fall delivered a ton of excellent action and drama, and a very effective finish with Woods getting the pin.
  
  
• Bray Wyatt defeats Ryback, via pinfall. In the opening minutes, Ryback's physical superiority wins out... psychological superiority is all fine and dandy, but it takes a while to get warmed up, I guess.
  
  The fans are pretty equally split; at most, it's 60/40 for Ryback when the fans start going back and forth with "Let's Go, Ryback"/"Let's Go, Wyatt" chants.
  
  About 3 minutes in, Wyatt actually does use physicality to take control: his impressive Low Crossbody drops Ryback, and Wyatt is able to Ryback grounded for a bit. Ryback gets a hope spot in, but hits the steel ringpost when Wyatt dodges a charge. From there, Bray starts getting more creative, with more mind games and also a new apron-assisted facebuster that looked nasty.
  
  Also: Wyatt hit an apron-to-the-floor senton that I would absolutely believe broke several of Ryback's ribs, if they wanted to sell me that bill of goods. Ouch.
  
  Another hope spot for Ryback, but when it involves hitting a powerslam on Wyatt, that jars Ryback's injured ribs, and he can't really follow up, allowing Wyatt to regain control for a bit.
  
  The same basic story plays out again, when Wyatt sets up for a superplex, but Ryback powers out, and shoves Wyatt to the mat... then Ryback got crazy, and flew with a huge splash from the top rope. It hits, but Ryback's ribs keep him following up in a timely fashion.
  
  When Ryback does hoist Wyatt up, with Shellshock in mind, Wyatt is able to shift his weight, and grabs the top rope to pull himself to safety... Wyatt goes for Sister Abigail, but Ryback  powers out... Ryback goes for Shellshock again, but Wyatt worms out and shoves Ryback into a turnbuckle...
  
  Hey, waitaminute, that turnbuckle is exposed steel, there is no pad!
  
  Sister Abigail hits, and just like that Wyatt wins a decent little 10 minute match that definitely accomplished what it needed to: namely, it gives Wyatt a decisive  PPV win. He's damned near unstoppable on free TV, but they guy has a terrible record in major matches. This gets him back on track after losing to Taker.
  
  A series of replays also reveals that the exposed turnbuckle was Wyatt's doing... when he grabbed the ropes to escape the first Shellshock, he actually grabbed the turnbuckle pad and pulled it off. Then, he took advantage by purposely shoving Ryback into it moments later.
  
  
• John Cena retains the US Title over Rusev, when Lana quits on Rusev's behalf. Fans are totally split on which of the guys to cheer... the crowd might SLIGHTLY favor Cena, but it ain't by much. But on the other hand, it's pretty much unanimous that everybody loves Lana.
  
  Which infuriates Rusev.
  
  Bell rings, and Rusev does his best to refocus the fans' energies, by telling Cena that he stands no chance, so he should just quit right now. His rant actually causes a pretty massive "USA, USA, USA" chant... but then Cena declines Rusev's offer, and the match resumes in typical fashion.
  
  This gets the crowd back to being split on the issue of Cena, and back to being of one hive mind when it comes to Lana. A huge "WE WANT LAH NAH" chant causes Rusev to freak out. He drops Cena with a kick, and then drags Lana over to the Timekeeper Cubicle, and demands that she sit down and not draw attention to herself.
  
  Rusev then continues his beatdown on Cena, and ref Mike Chioda starts asking Cena if he wants to quit, and it's only been 90 seconds. It'd be one thing if Rusev ORDERED him to ask, and Chioda did it against his will, but nope: it was all Chioda's idea, despite a zero-point-zero percent chance of the match being over. To his credit, this insulting attempt at time dilation (acting like we were 15 minutes into a war, instead of 90 seconds in) gets a big ol' "NO SALE" from Cena, who doesn't dignify Chioda with a response, and just shoves him away, as if to say, "You're kidding, right?" Good for you, JonJon.
  
  Rusev's offense continues for another couple of minutes, until he calls for Lana to bring the Russian Flag over to him, so he can wave it in Cena's general direction. BOO~!
  
  Rusev's misuse of time allows Cena to get an extended hope spot, until the match spills outside, and Rusev sends Cena into the ring steps and other furniture. Now, when Chioda asks Cena if he quits, Cena actually deigns to say "No." It's now 5 whole minutes into the match. Ahem.
  
  And it's not like it's even the number of minutes that's important. It's not. I'm watching on a computer, so I've got a clock sitting right there, and I know the number of minutes. But the problem here (and in the 3 falls match) is that there just has not been enough stuff happen to justify this false sense of drama. It's not that anyone is watching the clock, it's that it's aggressively distracting that WWE is pretending we have done enough to result in the story/psychology of the match in convincing End Game scenario.
  
  I digress. With the ring steps continuing to be used, the story/psychology quickly start catching up to where WWE wants them to be. Thanks to punishing blows with the steps, and slams onto the steps, and so forth, Cena has taken enough punishment that you can believe he might be vulnerable.
  
  Cena starts his comeback when Rusev sets up for a huge stomp, using the steps... Cena moves, and Rusev gets a stinger when he stomps steel. Spinebuster onto the steps, and for the first time, Chioda asks Rusev if HE quits. Nyet!
  
  Cena uses the steps for a bit, and even tries just throwing them at Rusev. Rusev dodges them, but can't regain control just yet. Cena spears him through the ringside barricade for another Ref Ask and a Nyet.
  
  Cena takes the fight into the crowd and over to the production area on the camera side of the arena. Cena starts setting up to use a giant crate, but Rusev catches him with a thrust kick. Cena does not quit. Rusev starts setting up to use some props (a table), but this allows Cena to recover and turn the tide again.
  
  Cena bludgeons Rusev with a monitor, a laptop, and other stuff. Rusev does not quit. Rusev actually crawls behind the table that he set up earlier (it's propped up against a barricade)... but it's a trap. As soon as Cena goes over to pull him out, Rusev low blows Cena, and then spinebusters Cena through said table.
  
  Cena does not quit.
  
  Rusev starts canvassing the area, checking out various cables and trying to brainstorm... this allows Cena time to recover, and when Rusev finally turns his attention back to Cena, Cena catches him with a Flash F-U up near the entrance. Rusev lands behind a piece of staging, and a bunch of pyro magically goes off in his general vicinity.
  
  By the time the cameras actually find Rusev again, he's rolled clear, and he's also not quitting.
  
  Lana was traumatized by the explosions, so she has finally left her seat at ringside, and is hovering on the fringes of the fight.
  
  Cena uses an old school steel barricade and the ring steps as he continues his assault on Rusev. Rusev still does not quit... and in fact, when Cena sets up to F-U Rusev onto the steel barricade, Rusev escapes, and suplexes Cena into the barricade. Ouch. But Cena does not quit.
  
  Rusev rolls Cena back into the ring, hits his big thrust kick, and then cinches in the Camel Clutch.
  
  Cena immediately fires up, and stands up, with Rusev on his back. He falls backwards into the corner. Rusev does not release. He falls back a second time. Rusev does not release, and Cena crumples back down to the mat.
  
  Chioda asks Cena if he quits, but Cena is unconscious, and can't respond. Rusev assumes this means he wins... but apparently a clear-cut submission is not the same as "quitting." Chioda explains this to Rusev, and Rusev flips out.
  
  Rusev starts taking the ring apart. He unscrews the top rope, taking it off the ring post. Then, he grabs a bottle of water, and pours it on Cena to revive him... Rusev's plan is to use the steel turnbuckle as a weapon.
  
  But as he approachs, Cena hits a drop toehold, and uses the detatched rope to wrench back on an SSTF... Rusev fights it at first, but the second time Chioda asks him, he says something in Not English. His mood is defiant, but he quickly starts fading...
  
  All of a sudden, Lana jumps into the ring and says that Rusev quits, he quits, just let him go. Chioda decides to call for the bell. Cena retains after a 20 minute brawl. Early cheesiness aside, it built up to a big match feel.
  
  Cole & The Gang advance a narrative where Rusev actually did quit, but he did it in Bulgarian. Lana didn't quit for him, she just translated Rusev's wishes for Chioda. Uh huh, sure she did (believed only the very young or very gullible).
  
  
• Backstage: The New Day are enjoying a victory toast (with milk) when Byron Saxton interrupts to ask them about the cheap way they retained their titles. The three are indignant at Byron's negativity, and Woods declares, "We are the purest of role models. We do not spit. We do not swear. We do not complain." They just CLAP.
   
  But then, Byron informs them that their next title defense is coming up at the Elimination Chamber PPV in 2 weeks. The New Day are all, "Yeah, we know. Duh." But then Saxton informs them that said title defense will be the first ever Tag Team Elimination Chamber Match. Six teams, inside the chamber.
  
  Big E spits out his milk. Woods spits out a mild profanity. And Kofi immediately declares that this is totallly unfair.
   
  In other words: absolutely delightful, fellas. YOU. DOROCK.
  
  
• Naomi/Tamina defeat the Bella Twins, via pinfall. The Bellas get off to a strong start, with Brie getting the better of Naomi for a bit... but a minute in, Tamina created a distraction, and the heels took over.
  
  Brie did all the hard work, getting her ass kicked, while Nikki handled the cheerleading with aplomb (and with jiggling). About 3 minutes in, we get the hot tag to Nikki.
  
  Tamina short circuits her house-a-fireness, allowing Naomi to hit the Buttbutt (a/k/a "Rear View") for a near fall. Brie yanks Tamina out of the ring, and Nikki seems back on track... but that's when Tamina turns the tables on Brie, outside the ring.
  
  Nikki is distracted when Tamina rams Brie into the barricade. Naomi takes advantage, and lands her low DDT for the pin. Heels win a paint-by-numbers 5 minute match... but it serves the purpose of setting up a Naomi/Nikki title match in 2 weeks.
  
  
• Backstage: Rusev is pacing and ranting in Bulgarian. Lana's just sitting in a corner. Finally, Rusev tells Lana he's sick of her and that she should "get out." Lana doesn't do it at first. But when Rusev repeats his demand, she demures. For the third or fourth time, it seems like Rusev and Lana are broken up...
  
  
• Neville defeats King Barrett, via intentional count-out. Barrett beat Neville to become the King of the Ring... but before that, Neville scored an upset win over Barrett at Extreme Rules. This is the Rubber Match.
  
  After an opening flurry from Neville, Barrett counters one of his fancy-ass flippy moves with a simple boot to the gut.
  
  Pretty straight forward heel beatdown, with Barrett's size advantage making for a dominant segment in which he also worked in plenty of mocking/taunting the crowd.
  
  Of course, said mocking/taunting is ultimately Barrett's undoing, and allows Neville to start his big comeback. First near fall for Neville comes off a standing shooting star press.
  
  Neville goes up top, but Barrett catches him. Barrett loads up the Bullhammer, but when Neville ducks, Barrett settles for the Winds of Change on the rebound. Neville kicks out at 2.
  
  Barrett goes for the Wastelands, but Neville counters and hits a kick... Neville sets up for a springboard, but we have a camera angle that reveals Barrett is prepared, and is ready to catch him with a mid-air Bullhammer (the same finish as they did at KotR)... but Neville had the counter to the counter, and he grabbed Barrett's arm on the fly-by, and turned it into a flying armdrag. Nice.
  
  Another couple of moves, and Neville laid Barrett out for the Red Arrow. But at the last second, Barrett rolled out of the ring. He teased stepping back into the ring a few times, but kept backing off. Meantime, the ref just kept counting. Finally, after the third tease, Barrett just shook his head and walked away, getting counted out on purpose.
  
  Pretty by-the-numbers 6-7 minute match, with a non-finish that underscored it was more of a Thursday Night Special than a PPV-caliber contest. That said, they tagged it with a nice little angle... as Neville half-heartedly celebrated his count-out win, Barrett sprinted back and leveled Neville with a Bullhammer from behind. Jerk.
  
  But as Barrett grabbed his cape and scepter to do a full-hearted celebration of his loss, Neville recovered. He caught the King with a few punches and kicks, then landed the Red Arrow.
  
  With the King royally humiliated, Neville gladly went ahead with a full-on celebration of his count-out AND moral victories.
  
  
• Seth Rollins retains the WWE Title in a Fatal Fourway Match, by pinning Randy Orton (Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns also involved). Kane gets his own entrance before the match... so even though he's not here in any official capacity (as he was last month for the cage match), WWE's really playing up the notion that Kane's job is on the line and that he'll play a role in who wins this match.
  
  Full boxing-style ring intros, which give us a clear view of the crowd's preferences. Sounds like Ambrose is the narrow fan favorite over Orton. Reigns gets a 30/70 split (cheers/boos), which is a step back for him, given that I really like the work that he's put in lately (the push to the WM Main Event is WWE's fault, but coming out of that debacle, Reigns has put the work in). Rollins has some fans among the smarks, but he's not even getting a 10/90 split.
  
  Bell rings, and the three faces seem to agree that they'll just focus on Rollins... they circle, but J&J jump up on the apron and create a distraction. A Pier Sixer breaks out, and it only ends when five guys are in a scrum outside the ring, and then Reigns gets a running start and hits a giant suicide dive onto all of them.
  
  That serves as a reset. Reigns pulls Rollins out of the pile; they do a bit. When Rollins manages to get the edge, and Reigns powders out, Ambrose comes in, and does a bit with Rollins. Ambrose dominates (including the standing elbow drop), and chucks Rollins out of the ring. Orton comes in, and there's a moment of tension between him and Ambrose... Rollins breaks that up, and takes out Orton.
  
  Rollins now has the advantage on Ambrose for a moment, until Reigns jumps back in. Ambrose and Reigns work together, and it's all smiles and high fives as they dominate Rollins... it's looking bad for Rollins until Kane finally gets involved.
  
  Kane yanks Reigns out of the ring, and decimates him. Ambrose tries to confront Kane. That doesn't end well. Kane feeds Ambrose back into Rollins, and then removes his dress shirt to get down to business. Kane makes sure both Orton and Reigns stay down, and Rollins has his way with Ambrose for a minute or two.
  
  Ambrose stages a comeback, off of the Rebound Clothesline... he fights off J&J when they get involved (remember, Fatal Fourway is de facto No DQ), too. But Kane gets in the ring and lends a hand to put Rollins back in charge.
  
  Orton finally gets back to his feet, and gets rid of Kane... he also gets some grumbles out of the crowd when he ditches Ambrose out of the ring. But everybody approves as he goes to work on Rollins, including his new t-bone suplex for a near fall. Superplex gets another near fall for Randall.
  
  Rollins ducks out of the ring, and Orton follows... Orton has designs on using the announce table, but as he's prepping the table (removing monitors, etc.), Rollins recovers a bit, and both Ambrose and Reigns rejoin the fight.
  
  Rollins drives Orton into the ring apron. Ambrose and Reigns each land a few shots. The three suddenly pause, and share a moment of significant eye contact. They look at Orton's carcass. They look at the prepared table. They look at each other again.
  
  Rollins calls for the old school Shield Triple Powerbomb. Reigns is into it. Ambrose is all "eh, why not?". So the three set it up, and hit the TripleBomb through the announce table. The crowd goes nuts... and so does Rollins.
  
  He thinks he just got the band back together, and starts celebrating and backslapping his boys. Reigns and Ambrose sort of let him have the moment, but as soon as Rollins sticks out the first for the Shield Salute, he gets no love, and realizes there's gonna be trouble.
  
  Ambrose and Reigns ping-pong Rollins back and forth, until he's in bad shape. They start prepping the Spanish ANnounce Table for a Double Powerbomb... that's when Kane shows up and tries to put a stop to that. But he fails.
  
  Rollins is laid out on top of the SAT, and Ambrose helps hoist Kane up, and Reigns powerbombs Kane onto Rollins... the table does not break. The crowd boos, but then starts chanting "ONe MORE TIME." Ambrose again has the perfect "eh, why not?" body language, and Reigns is into it.
  
  So they do it again. This time, the table breaks. "THIS IS AWE SOME." I concur, that's pretty sweet.
  
  Ambrose and Reigns admire their handiwork, but then realize that it's down to just them. Everybody else has been put through tables.
  
  Gentlemen that they are, they let each other get back into the center of the ring, and then -- and only then -- do they start kicking the shit out of each other.
  
  It's all of 30 seconds before they are going for big bombs. Superman Punch whiffs, and turns into a schoolboy for a convincing near fall. Dirty Deeds follow up only gets a two. Back and forth exchange ends with a spear. Also only a 2 count.
  
  Things are ramping up to the point where you actually believe one of them might score the pin... that's when J&J interfere. Reigns and Ambrose are able to fight them off, but they served their purpose by killing enough time for Rollins (and Orton) to get back into the match.
  
  It's once again a crazy-ass Pier Sixer, with big moves and near falls and break-ups all over the place, until Orton asserts his dominance. It winds up being down to Orton and Rollins, with Orton in control after a Hangman DDT.
  
  He coils, he's ready to strike... and that's when we're reminded that there's a 7th man involved here, tonight. Kane, displaying his loyalty once and for all, gets into the ring and creates a distraction (eating an RKO in the process), allowing Rollins to hit the Pedigree (NOT his own new finisher) to score the pin.
  
  Very good 25 minute main event. But it did peak early (the Shield Reunion and re-break-up was just fabulous and kind of surprising, but the outcome was the one everybody was expecting). Over the past week, I really got myself worked up over how awesome a 2 week reign for Ambrose would have been (Reigns is a "failure" if he only gets a 2 week run, but for Ambrose, it would have instantly elevated him a level), but that's only because they pulled the Elimination Chamber out of their ass, and suddenly, you had the infrastructure in place for something wacky like that. At the end of the day, though, Rollins retaining was the expected/predictable outcome, because it's still the RIGHT outcome... Rollins just flat-out must be the WWE Champ whenever Brock Lesnar decides to show up again.
  
  Anyway, as Rollins celebrates his win, the announcers remind us that Kane's loyalties are now clear, and also, Triple H shows up to join in. Evil prevails again, and that's our final visual as we fade to black....
  

And so ends the show. Nothing to write home about, but here in the day and age of NINE NINETY NINE, it's also a perfectly serviceable effort. A year or so ago, when "off-month" PPVs still happened 6 or 7 times per year, and still always cost $50, and only once or twice would they rise above the off-month status, this is the kind of show I'd get annoyed at.
 
But at the $9.99 price point, honestly, the only thing this cost me was three hours of my time, and I can't really pretend like I could have come up with any better way to spend it.
 
I'd be lying if I said that you needed to rush out and youtube any of the matches (the main event was the best of the night, and even then, the only part of it that will be remembered much past 11:30 tonight is the mid-match Shield bit), but there also wasn't a whole lot that you could just dismiss as completely worthless.
 
I could probably expand on that concept, but I pretty much just spent 3000 words explaining it in real time. And the textbook definition of "adequacy" doesn't get any more exciting the longer I dwell on it. With all due respect to those of you who mailed in, upset that I deemed C-plus "adequate" back on Monday, while Bill McNeal himself says it's a C-minus, I think the entire range of C grades fall under the umbrella of adequadaquasitivity.
 
And Payback was an adequate show, with an above average main event, so let's call that a B-minus.
 
See you in 24, with the RAW Recap, OO Nation...