And once again, let me rant about the shitty drivers of Texas, as they are to blame. This afternoon, it was a mere monsoon, and the demonstrable lack of driving ability was on display. A full 7 active accident scenes on the drive back to Ft. Worth from Dallas. Another handful of cars -- completely totalled and facing the wrong way on the shoulders -- left abandoned, presumably because of a lack of manpower. And that's without even getting into the number of near accidents I witnessed, as about one-third of Texas drivers kept on driving like they always do (stupidly), and another third were utterly freaked out by driving in heavy rain, and would do things like randomly slow down to 35 mph in the middle lane for no discernable reason other than nerves.

I'm not sure I'm going to subject myself to the sequel, tomorrow, when it's not just a monsoon, it'll be an Ice Monsoon. If this is how bad Texas drivers are when it's wet, I don't even want to know what they're like when it's icey. I'm pretty comfortable and confident when it comes to driving in bad weather, but this state causes me to lose all confidence in the driving abilities of those around me. Screw that.

Seriously, is there even a driving test to get a license in this state? It's vitally important that anybody and everybody be allowed to get as many guns as they want in Texas, so I guess they have the same "who gives a shit?" attitude towards regulating who gets to drive a car. And if that's just how gung-ho you are about that wild west lack of law and order, that's fine. Just be consistent about it, and the rest of us will get used to it.

But guess what? With that "anything goes" mindset towards firearms and terrible drivers, I can't even buy an ass-pocket-sized bottle of whiskey on a Sunday. I just found that out the hard way. You gots to make sure we all have the freedom and liberty to die at the hands of morons wielding either guns or cars. Don't tread on you!!! But the freedom to sit on couch and enjoy a sporting event with an adult beverage on a Sunday, without doing your shopping ahead of time? That's kooky talk!

So even though I'm probably taking the day off tomorrow, I can't even enjoy a few weakly poured cocktails (I no longer drink like I used to, before the Medical Unpleasantness, but that's not entirely a bad thing) while watching this PPV. Jesus, Texas, you're a schizophrenic cesspool of silliness...

If I get overly pissy about how the show plays out, at least now you'll know the underlying reason why. Let's see how it goes.... here's the first ever WWE Fast Lane:

• ON THE PRESHOW. Nothing really happened. There was a good segment with Dean Ambrose, and his desire to bring glory back to the IC Title. And then there was a MizTV, with guest Paul Heyman, which was unremarkable. Heyman basically said he didn't care whether Lesnar faces Bryan or Reigns at WrestleMania. In fact, it's so inconsequential that Brock Lesnar isn't even here tonight. BOOOO! They he and Miz did briefly team up on Sandow, but despite the encouragement of the fans, Sandow backed down, and took the verbal abuse.
  
  
• SETH ROLLINS/BIG SHOW/KANE BEAT DOLPH ZIGGLER/RYBACK/ERICK ROWAN. Per usual, J&J Security are with Rollins. Ziggler and Rollins start, which means we're off to the best start possible. I'd be fine if they never tagged anyone else in.
  
  Ziggler won the first exchange, getting a near fall after a flip powerbomb. But Rollins powdered out, regrouped, and went on a mini-flurry. As soon as Ziggler had a chance, he tagged in Rowan.
  
  Rowan kept it going for a minute or so, then Rollins was able to tag in Kane. Kane didn't fare much better for the first minute, until he back Rowan into the enemy corner, and tagged in Big Show.
  
  Show began to dominate. When the match spilled outside, Rowan had a momentary flurry, but when he went for a spinkick, Show moved, and Rowan's knee impacted the steel ring post. The heels immediately went to town on Rowan's right leg.
  
  The beatdown continues for almost 5 minutes, leading me to believe Rowan is the REAL Face in Peril, and not a decoy. Huh.
  
  Rowan finally gets a break when Rollins showboats, and Rowan catches him with a kick. Hot tag to Ryback. Rollins stays in. Ryback goes to town.
  
  He warms up the Meathook, but Kane runs in to cause a distraction. Ryback sets up for the Shellshock, but J&J hop up on the apron, and Rollins escapes and hits a superkick. He gets a near fall, but Ryback kicks out at 2.
  
  Rollins up top, and he whiffs on his attempted move, but runs to the other corner, catches Ryback with a boot when Ryback charges, and goes up top again. When he comes off, Ryback catches him in position for the Shellshock, but Big Show jumps in to break it up.
  
  Both men down, both men go to their corners. Ziggler in, Kane in. Ziggler gets the better of it, and even short circuits attempted interference by Rollins... but as the ref tries to roll Rollins' carcass out of the ring, Show jumps in and hits the WMD on Ziggler.
  
  Ref never saw it, so he counts 3 for Kane's cover. That's worth another "Huh." Match was about 12 minutes, but nothing special, as Ziggler spent 9 of them on the apron. They did flip the script a bit, as Rowan really was the Face in Peril, and Ryback's 2 minute segment was just the throwaway to get us to the Ziggler heat sequence, so that was unique. But still not a whole lot to sink your teeth into.
  
  But it served its purpose, because it existed mostly for the post-match angle, in which the heels started a 5-on-3 beatdown on the good guys... until Randy Orton made his "surprise" return to make the save.
  
  Orton got a few shots in on Kane and Show, but Rollins ran away with his tail between his legs. In fact, as Orton celebrated his moral victory, Rollins made it all the way to the parking lot, because that's how little he wants to be in the same building as Orton.
  
  
• BACKSTAGE: Dusty Rhodes comes up to Goldust, and says Cody's dangerous, but so is Dustin... Dusty just hopes that Dustin does what he has to without hurting Cody. Dustin says he respects that, but tonight, he's not facing Cody, he's facing Stardust, and because he loves his brother, he's not gonna let up until he beats Stardust so badly that he never wants to put the paint back on again. He's not leaving the ring until he gets his brother back, because he remembers when he was on the brink, and he wishes somebody had done that for him, before he went into the abyss. It's for Cody's own good. Dusty doesn't quite agree, but seems resigned to let boys be boys.
  
  
• GOLDUST BEATS STARDUST. Stardust is sporting a new look. Instead of a bodysuit, it's full length tights, and only half make-up. He sort of looks like a full-size Rey Mysterio.
  
  In the early feeling out, Goldust is trying to play nice, but Stardust is not granting any clean breaks or anything. So Goldust channels his aggression into out-wrestling Stardust in the opening minutes.
  
  It works for a while, until Goldust almost hits the Final Curtain. Stardust bails out, and as soon as he gets back in the ring, he takes control, via underhanded means.
  
  Crowd tries to get under Stardust's skin by chanting 'COH DEE" at him. But he maintains control. Well, actually, more than anything, the crowd seems silent and underwhelmed. Which is too bad.
  
  And then Goldust took advantage of a break in concentration to get a quick roll-up, and the win. So Goldust wins an 8 minutes match, and does so without hurting his brother. That makes Dusty happy.
  
  But when he offers a handshake to Stardust, Stardust declines and walks out, so GOldust didn't make good on his promise to get his brother back. To be continued....
  
  
• EARLIER THIS WEEK: Seth Rollins dissed Jon Stewart, but then Jon Stewart posted a video in response. And WWE didn't just mention it, like they always do, to pretend they're on the level of Jon Stewart. They replayed his whole video.
  
  So is this going somewhere, or am I reading too much into how much time they just dedicated to this?
  
  You know, as much as I now tolerate (and periodically enjoy) Randy Orton's in ring work, he's still an absolute walking abortion when he talks. Jon Stewart as Randy Orton's mouthpiece for WrestleMania, anyone?
  
  
• BACKSTAGE: Goldust is talking to his dad, saying he did just like Dusty asked... he didn't hurt Cody. But that's when Stardust comes in and kicks Goldust's ass, while Dusty implores him to stop.
  
  When he finally does, he turns to Dusty and says "Cody is dead. And YOU killed him. You sent this has-been, this Attitude Era never-ending-story, to help me 18 months ago, and he became an albatross, strangling Cody Rhodes. So now Cody is dead, and you killed him." He closes by saying he no longer lives in the shadow of the Rhodes family. They live in his shadow.
  
  I like it. I liked the match, too, even if the live crowd was dead. But I like the post-match even more. So much more depth than I thought they'd give this story...
  
  
• CESARO AND TYSON KIDD DEFEAT THE USOS TO BECOME THE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. Naomi is with the Usos. Nattie is with Kidd and Cesaro. In the battle of sexy outfits, Nattie wins. It's not that I like pleather catsuits that much (quite the contrary, I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy), it's just that Naomi's jeanshorts and t-shirt failed to appeal to me, on account of the high waisted Mom Jeanshorts failing to flatter her. Or anyone. Ever.
  
  Jey and Kidd start, good guys off to a fast start, until Kidd manages to tag in Cesaro. Then he manages to get some traction, and backs Jimmy into the enemy corner.
  
  For the second tag match in a row, the heel team targets an opponent's knee. Cesaro pops the crowd by doing a modified Half Crab Swing, further weakening the knee. Sweet.
  
  About 3 minutes of that, and it's clear Jimmy's a more convention Decoy Face in Peril, as he gets the tag to Jey, and Cesaro comes in on the corresponding move.
  
  Jey gets a very abbreviated rally, but after one near fall, Jey goes up top, and gets caught. The real heel beatdown is on. Cesaro hits his deadlift apron superplex, and then passes things off to Kidd.
  
  Jimmy tries to get involved to even the score, and a quick Pier Four brawl breaks out, which the Usos win. But once it's back to one-on-one, Jimmy goes for a Superfly Splash, and gets Kidd's knees to his gut.
  
  Kidd follows up with a Sharpshooter, requiring Jey to make the save, and ANOTHER Pier Four Brawl breaks out. Cesaro and Jey powder out, and Jimmy's the first to his feet out of the legal men.
  
  Cesaro immediately distracts the ref by rolling Jey's carcass into the ring, causing the ref to roll Jey OUT of the ring. Then Cesaro hits a stiff uppercut on Jimmy, and Kidd adds a superkick, and we have new tag champs.
  
  It's the same ploy Cesaro and Kidd used to win a non-title match against the Usos, and it works again. The match was about 12 minutes, and a tinch better than the non-title one, but I still suspect these four have yet another gear in them.
  
  
• BOOM GOES THE ANVIL. Triple H comes out first, and I think it's worth noting that he's in jeans and a leather jacket, which is the first time in a while he's ditched the suit and tie. This is not the Authority, this is the Cerebral Assassin. Or at least, that's my takeaway.
  
  HHH recaps the story so far, not adding much that the 4 minute video package they just played didn't already recap for us. Oy. He's the living embodiment of WWE, and Sting is in interloper. So Sting, come on down.
  
  Lights out. Crow call. Video package on the Tron. And comes on down. The ramp, that is. Not from the rafters or anything cool like that.
  
  Sting gets to the ring, and does not bother grabbing a mic. He just stands there, and HHH decides to do the talking, "I assume we're past the point of pleasantries, so let me just spell this out, point blank. You backed the wrong horse. All those years ago, you picked WCW, and then you stayed WCW, and you went down with the ship. And I'm one of the guys who made sure your ship went down. My legacy is making sure that your only legacy went out of business. But back at Survivor Series, you tried to put ME out of business. But you failed. I guess failure is what you do."
  
  OOOOHHHHHHHH, SNAP~!
  
  So HHH says he has an idea. He wants to restore Sting's legacy. But only if Sting is willing to do what he didn't do back during the Monday Night Wars... if Sting is willing to do business with WWE, HHH will make sure Sting's legacy lives on, thanks to the WWE Network, DVDs, merchandise, and even the WWE Hall of Fame. Here, in 2015, Sting could be bigger than he ever was in WCW. But only if he does business.
  
  Or, as HHH removes his jacket, we can do it the other way. I will beat the crap out of you, right here, in this ring tonight, and you will fade into obscurity, as if you never existed. The choice is yours, Sting.
  
  Sting says nothing, but HHH takes that to means Sting is not walking away. So HHH tries to distract him with by mentioning Ric Flair, but then dropping the mic and bum-rushing Sting.
  
  Sting puts up a bit of a fight, but HHH wins the battle of fisticuffsmanship. Then, HHH goes under the ring, and finds Sweet Lady Sledge. He fondles her, gently, and then gets in the ring.... but Sting has found his own weapon of choice: a black baseball bat.
  
  He holds it under HHH's chin, until HHH drops the sledgehammer.
  
  And then, Sting points the bat at the giant WrestleMania logo. HHH briefly ponders the faintest possibility of maybe kinda sorta taking advantage of the distraction to coldcock Sting. So Sting puts the bat under the chin again, and then gestures back to the logo.
  
  The sequence repeats a third time, and HHH seems to nod in agreement, so Sting turns his back, and walks two steps. HHH tries to attack from behind, but Sting sees it coming, and buries the bat in HHH's ribs.
  
  A Scorpion Death Drop hits, and Sting makes a victorious exit, pointing one more time to the logo.
  
  Sting vs. HHH: Mission Accomplished. I mean, it wasn't a goosebumps sort of moment or anything (and I'm sure WWE will retcon it, and pretend that it was), but it worked for me. We all knew what was coming, and they still made it fairly compelling TV, using the simple sledge/bat imagery.
  
  
• NIKKI BELLA RETAINS THE WOMEN'S TITLE BY BEATING PAIGE. Lilian calls it the "Women's Title" during ring intros. Well, shoot. I was gonna take a week off, after sleazing all over Lilian for a few weeks in a row, but now I'll just have to re-declare my smittenness... anyone who'll rage against the machine with me, and refuse to call it a "Diva's Title" is aces in my book.
  
  Of course, what's aces in my book is probably the sort of "flub" that WWE will fine her for. Dolts.
  
  Pretty much as soon as the bell rings, we pick up with the story in the same basic place it's been since the start: with Nikki bullying Paige. It's just that now, instead of Mean Girls antics, she's just literally bullying her, with her size and strength advantage.
  
  Paige with a comeback about 3 minutes in. When she attempts the RamPaige, Nikki counters, but Paige quickly regains control. Both women up top, and Paige sets up for a superplex, but Nikki flips through and turns it into a running powerbomb.
  
  Paige kicks out at 2. You know what, I'm beginning to think the lack of sizzle/electricity/goosebumps isn't the fault of the show... I think this crowd just sucks.
  
  But I digress. Nikki tries for the Rack Attack, Paige counters into the PTO, Nikki gets a rope break, and when Paige tries to pick her up, Nikki uses a handful of tights to get a cheap roll-up win.
  
  Serviceable little 6 minute match. They even had a perfect camera angle, from a cheap, lo-fi camera hiding in a turnbuckle. That's, uhhhhhh, new. Jarringly new. Distractingly new. And from the lo-def quality, I don't think it's meant to be a new every-day part of the show.... which makes me wonder why it's there, at all. Cuz it wasn't just to document the finish of a throwaway women's match. But now, it's an established part of canon. Hmmmm....
  
  
• WADE BARRETT BEATS DEAN AMBROSE BY DISQUALIFICATION, BUT AMBROSE WALKS OUT WITH THE IC TITLE BELT. Ambrose is on fire to start, so Barrett bails out, and tries again. He does a little better on Take Two, catching Ambrose when he decides to go up top. Ambrose takes a tumble from the top rope to the floor (with the steel ring steps providing an unwelcome interruption, too).
  
  Barrett goes back to the chinlock (the one that Ambrose mocked on Thursday), and Ambrose fire up, only to eat a big boot... the fight spills outside, and Barrett tries to throw Ambrose back into the ring, only to have Ambrose to a modified slide-through version of his rebound clothesline on Barrett.
  
  Ambrose tosses Barrett back into the ring, and gets a near fall off a Tornado DDT. A big flurry of moves, in which Ambrose goes for his Standing FLying Elbow Thngie, but Barrett dodges, goes for the tilt-a-whirl slam, but Ambrose turns it into another DDT. Then the Standing Elbow Thingie hits.
  
  But it only gets a 2. Another exchange, and Barrett gets the better of it, so Ambrose goes for his usual Rebound Clothesline... Barrett has it scouted, and turns it into the Wastelands.
  
  Ambrose kicks out at 2. So Barrett winds up the BUllhammer... Ambrose ducks, bounces, and hits the Rebound Clothesline.
  
  Ambrose calls for Dirty Deeds, but Barrett rolls out of the ring, grabs his title belt, and attempts to walk out. Ambrose catches him with a big suicide dive, and tries to take it back into the ring. Barrett rolls out again, and tries to escape through the crowd.
  
  Ambrose fetches him, and throws him back into the ring, and keeps raining down blows.... but he keeps raining them down while Barrett is in the corner. The ref applies a five count, and Barrett wins by DQ. D'oh.
  
  Pretty good 15 minute match, though. Just not a great ending.
  
  But wait, there's more: after the match, Ambrose gets pissed at the ref, but directs his displeasure at Barrett. First, he hits the Dirty Deeds, to a big pop. But then, to a bigger pop, he grabs the IC Belt and walks out with it.
  
  Nice. Ambrose is definitely the kind of guy you can buy that he believes possession is 9/10ths of the law. Should set up a killer WM rematch.
  
  
• BOOM GOES THE OTHER ANVIL. In the middle of pointless drivel from Cole & The Gang, the lights go purple, and some chanting starts. Druids with torches line the aisle, and then....
   
  BONG~!
  
  The crowd explodes as Undertaker's theme begins.... but out comes another druid, pushing a casket. Could it really be? Or could it be more trickery from Bray?
  
  The casket makes it all the way down to the ring, and they set it up right next to the ring.
  
  Then, the casket opens, and yep: it's Bray.
  
  "I will never forget, the first time that I saw him, it made me tremble. His eyes, so cold. Behind them, nothing but darkness. I feared him. But now, he's just a normal, weak, broken, shell of a man. Now, his soul is stuck between our world, and the afterlife. But my mission is clear. I must release him to the next life. I know you can hear me, I know you are listening. I do not fear you anymore. I am Bray Wyatt, the new face of fear. And at WrestleMania, I will claim the soul of the Undertaker."
  
  Bray just lies back down in the casket, and the druids close it. Pregnant Belly Freeze Frame, and this segment is over.
  
  But I assume we just made our second WM Match, which isn't nothing.
  
  
• RUSEV DEFEATS JOHN CENA, CLEANLY, VIA REF STOPPAGE, TO RETAIN THE US TITLE. Full boxing-style ring introductions for this, the highest ranking title match of the
  night.
  
  The bell rings, and Lawler tries to convince us this is the mirror image of when a young John Cena made his debut by daring to step into the ring with Kurt Angle. Which it isn't. Then, Lawler told us that was the night that "Reckless Abandon" was born. Which it also wasn't.
  
  But Cena does come out very Ruthless Aggressiony, leveling Rusev with a big right hand, and then rattling off a few moves, before ducking a clothesline and hitting a spin kick to start his first offensive.
  
  NOtably, Rusev is going for pinfalls after every single offensive move, which the announcers say is evidence that he's scared of Cena, and wants to put him away as quickly as possible.
  
  The idiot fans start a "Jerry" chant, because they want to do the Yankees' style role call thing that Wankers do. But Rusev actually ad-libbed a death stare at Lawler, like he'd take the King down in a blink, if this kept up. The crowd booed. And Cena took advantage to hit a dropkick, but his hope spot was shortlived.
  
  Another hope spot after countering a suplex into a suplex of his own, but that's done after a DDT by Rusev.
  
  About 12 minutes in, Cena begins a for-real comeback, and rattles off the Five Moves of Doom... but when he goes for the F-U, Rusev catches him with a savate kick for a near fall. Some back-and-forthy ends with a tilt-a-whirl salm by Rusev.
  
  Cena dodges a corner charge, and hits a Tornado DDT of his own.  Only a 2. A quick grapple, and  Cena tries for an F-U, but Rusev escapes, and Cena settles for cinching in the SSTF. Rusev powers out once, but Cena cinches it in again... this time, Rusev has to settle for the rope break.
   
  Cena follows up, and after a quick back and forth, he lands the F-U... but Rusev kicks out, with authority, at 2. Cena is shocked, but decides to go up top for his top rope legdrop. Bad idea... Cena dives in, split-legged, which allows Rusev to catch him in mid-air for a powerbomb. Ouch.
   
  Cena kicks out, and now it's Rusev who is momentarily frustrated. But he knows enough to go to his bread and butter: he locks in the Camel Clutch.
   
  Cena is able to power out once. But Rusev re-applies it. It takes everything Cena has left, but he's about to power out again, when Lana distracts the ref just long enough for Rusev to hit Cena in the ballsac.
   
  The ref turns around to see Rusev hit his nasty savate kick, and then lock in his third Camel Clutch. Cena is completely unconscious, and the ref has no choice but to call for the bell.
  
  So Rusev beats Cena, relatively clean (the low blow turned the tide, but it was still Rusev winning with his finish while Cena was out), with the Camel Clutch. Whoa. It's what I wanted them to do, if they were gonna milk this till Mania... but I still expected them to do a "Cena wins by DQ or count-out, and demands the rematch because this isn't overr till he BEATS Rusev" deal. But nope, they did the right thing.
  
  TO drive home the hugeness of the moment, the post-match lasts a good 6 or 7 minutes, following Rusev's celebration, and then Cena's slow regaining of consciousness. Cena is stunned that he lost, but stammers out a few lines as he heads up the ramp about how he's not finished, and he will not quit till he beats Rusev.
  
  So, another WM Match is on.
  
  
• ROMAN REIGNS BEATS DANIEL BRYAN, AND WILL FACE BROCK LESNAR FOR THE WWE TITLE AT WRESTLEMANIA. Reigns enters first, to a mixed reaction. Bryan enters second, and even though it's not 100% cheers, it's clear he's got the vast majority of fans on his side. Call it 80/20; 75/25, at worst. WWE's done a good job keeping things 50/50 in the build up, but if they really want to fans to get behind Reigns at WM, there's still work to be done, here.
  
  They start with a back and forth feeling out. The fans do a back-and-forth "DAN YIL BRY YAN"/"RO MAN REIGNS" chant, and I'll stand by that 75/25...  if nothing else, there is genuine emotion behind the Bryan chants, but the Reigns one seem rout and mechanical, as if out of obligation.
  
  Bryan starts to gain an edge by out-wrestling Reigns, but Reigns counters by using his size and power. The perceived bullying gets him a smattering of boos. Reigns plays into it with a variety of mean scary faces after every high impact assault.
  
  Bryan switches over from grappling to striking, but it only provides a momentary respite from Reigns' power assault.
  
  Reigns chucks Bryan out of the ring, and then follows him out, to drive Bryan into the ringside barricade, the ring apron, and even the steel steps. Jerk.
  
  Back in the ring, Bryan tries more strikes, knotting up Reigns' hamstring with kicks, and then cinching in a submission hold. If Reigns' has only one leg, his size and power won't matter...
  
  But Reigns powers out well before Bryan reduces him to one leg. Reigns clotheslines Bryan over the top rope, and hits a Samoan Drop for his first near fall. But he can't follow up, as Bryan counters a corner-charge by hitting a drop-toe hold.
  
  When Bryan tries to follow up, Reigns turns him inside out with a clothesline. Another near fall.
  
  Then, Reigns tries a new wrinkle: he hits a trio of suplexes. But instead of Germans, they're gutwrench suplexes. And instead of the Three Amigos, the crowd is dead for them. D'oh.
  
  Reigns lines up the superman punch, but Bryan cuts him off with a YES! kick to the gut. Reigns drops like he's shot, and the announcers spin a yarn in which Bryan just re-aggrevated Reign's hernia problem. Hokay, I guess; it's an attempt to paint Reigns as an underdog, and that's not entirely a bad idea. I'm just not sure if it's working much.
  
  Bryan doesn't let up, hitting his corner dropkicks, and then taking things to the top rope... but Reigns counters a top rope hurricarana into a top rope powerbomb. Ouch. But Bryan kicks out at 2.
  
  Reigns, selling his gut, is slow to follow up. But when he does, he is able to back Bryan into a corner, and hit a series of forearms. Then, Reigns sets Bryan on the top rope, intending to do his OWN top rope rana. You so crazy, Roman.
  
  Bryan sneaks out the backdoor, and turns it into a backdrop superplex. Reigns kicks out at 2.
  
  YES! Lock is cinched in. Reigns gets to the ropes for a break. Reigns rolls outside. Bryan hits the Flying Goat. Bryan hits a second Flying Goat. Reigns wanders over to a different side of the ring, but Bryan still tries for a third one.
  
  Reigns catches him out of mid-air and hits a belly-to-belly suplex on the floor. Reigns tries to follow up, but Bryan dodges the charge, and sends Reigns into the steel ringsteps.
  
  Both men down and out, outside the ring. The ref starts counting to 10.
  
  But he only gets to 8, when Bryan dives into the ring. Reigns follows at 9. Match resets, and Bryan goes up top. but Reigns sidesteps the dive, and Bryan lands hard. Reigns goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out at 2.
  
  Reigns sets up the spear, but Bryan sidesteps and turns it into a roll-up for 2. Bryan steps back, and hits the Aberdeen Facebuster Running Knee. Reigns kicks out at 2.
  
  Bryan starts laying in with the YES! Kicks. But on the step-back Super Duper YES! Kick, Reigns blocks it by hooking Bryan's leg with his arm... but Bryan grabs the arm, and turns it into another YES! Lock.
  
  Reigns tries to get to the ropes, but can't. So with a last ditch effort, he flips back the other way, and catches Bryan off-guard. He does a big mount-and-punch.
  
  Bryan tries to grab his arm again, but Reigns takes the arm, hoists Bryan up, and then drops him with a modified powerbomb. Both men down again, ref counts again.
  
  Neither man gets to his feet, but they sit up and start trading sitting punches, so the ref breaks off at 8.
  
  Bryan wins, steps back, and hits the Super Duper YES! Kick. He lines up for the Running Knee.... but he runs right into a Spear, and just like that, Reigns gets the win.
  
  It was a very good 20 minute match, but the crowd's clearly not too pleased. It was very good and Reigns' best singles match ever, but it's also Reigns FIRST very good singles match ever, and it's pretty clear his opponent was a big part of that. In other words, it was good, but not enough to convince anyone that Reigns is ready for a WM main event.
   
  In short, it's a year too late to take advantage of what would have been an organic out-of-nowhere breakthough (after the impressive showing Reigns had at the Rumble), but it's also now a year too early to be an effectively manufactured breakthough. Reigns' untimely injury really should have been factored into this by WWE... instead, WWE just pushed ahead, shoving Reigns down our throats without 4 months of vital foundation work. It's not Reigns' fault, but it's a very stupid misstep by WWE to forge ahead with Reigns/Lesnar, one-on-one.
  
  Unless they know something we don't, and Lesnar's sticking around after WM. In which case, knock yourself out, Roman.
  
  Match ends with Roman celebrating to a tepid response, while the announcers talk about how the WM main event is set in stone. Reigns is up on the ramp, making googly-eyes with the WM Logo, as we fade to black...
  

And so ends the show. Two pretty good matches... the main event was just outstanding action, but with a kind of limp finish; the US Title match was the mirror image, as it was merely a decent match, action-wise, before a big "WHOA!" moment as the finish.
 
Rest of the show was OK, with matches that left you feeling like there was another gear.... but storywise, they kind of set up rematches at Mania that will deliver that other gear.
 
So in that way, Fast Lane did exactly what a pre-WM PPV is supposed to do. Especially as a "free month giveaway" PPV, it set up about a half-dozen big matches for Mania, of varying levels of intrigue.
 
I'm not sure I'm excited for it, but now we know it's Lesnar vs. Reigns as the main event. Both the Special Attractions are set, now, too: Sting vs. HHH and Taker vs. Wyatt.
 
Cena's quest for revenge should make for the biggest US Title Match in WM history. And the foundation is laid for a great IC Title rematch from Ambrose and Barrett, too (make it a ladder match, anyone? with Ambrose holding the physical belt, you can definitely do some kind of cool stip).
 
And now, we're also full speed ahead for Orton vs. Rollins, too. That's your half dozen marquee matches. Done and done. Fast Lane got us there, and I think that's Mission Accomplished.
 
Rest of the WM card isn't exactly up in the air. I think we can make some pretty solid guesses... Figure the tag titles will be on the line in a rematch, and Goldust vs. Stardust has another chapter in it, too. That's 8 matches for the PPV. Bryan vs. Sheamus is the only other thing that I can think of for a spot on the 4-hour PPV, just because it's rumored everywhere, and there's no way Bryan's entirely left off the show. Throw a Women's Title match and the Andre Battle Royal on the hour-long pre-show, and that just might be all you need.
 
But we'll cross those bridges when we come to them. For tonight, Fast Lane had a couple matches you could sink your teeth into, and a lot of good storyline advancement (including the semi-surprising tag title change) that really does put us on the fast lane to WrestleMania.
 
I figure that's good for a final grade of B-plus.
 
See you again tomorrow, with the RAW Recap, everybody!