Specifically, I want to make a custom version of "Coack K College Basketball" (which was released in 1995 for Sega Genesis), changing some team/player info... and my google-fu resulted in me finding out that not only was this possible, but somebody already did it, AND they created an editor so that anyone (even dummies like me) could change the game with a simple windows interface.
 
Then, my ecstasy evaporated, because the link to the editor was dead, and I could find no signs of the guy who made it being active anywhere in the past 4 years.
 
Here's the link to the forum thread where they plotted their scheme. The announcement/link about the editor tool is at the end (on page 2), and is done by a user named tjans.
 
So my plea is this: if you are in anyway involved in the ROM Hacking community, can you somehow look around and see if that Coach K Edit Tool is available anywhere else (google doesn't seem to think so) or point me in the direction of tjans (who seemed, in 2010, to be a prolific member of said community) so I can plead directly with him?
 
Any help/advice will make you OO's Favorite Person of the Week, an honor which, up until now, did not exist. So you'll be the first! Nobody will ever be able to take that away from you. So please, please, pretty please, help me...
 
And with that piece of abject begging out of the way, here's what happened at the just-completed Hell in a Cell 2014 pay-per-view:

• On the Preshow. The preshow once again starts at 7pm, but this time, I'm on it (instead of joining in at 7:30, like last month, when WWE didn't exactly do a great job publicizing the time change).
  
  But they still only had about 15 minutes of material crammed into that 60 minute bag. The rest was just zero-value-add crapola designed to sell people on the PPV. Except it's not PAY per view, anymore, so honestly, why are we sticking with this now-useless format of a glorfied advertisement? We're already watching, so either use the time constructively, or just don't do a preshow at all... don't expand it to an hour when you're already failing at filling up 30 minutes.
  
  Anyway, the two takeaways from the preshow:
  
  (1) "MizdowTV," in which Sandow was the host, and he had Miz as his guest. Really funny, with Sandow switching seamlessly between asking questions and then mirroring Miz while he answered. A little friction when Sandow said he beat Sheamus on Monday, but he quickly backpedalled and said that's only a minor technicality, and since he's Miz's stunt double, Miz totally gets the credit for the win. Sandow kept sucking up to Miz, finally calling him his "best friend." Miz -- purposely a bit fakey and over-act-y -- reciprocated by calling Sandow "the best stunt double a man could ask for, and a man I'm proud to call my friend."
  
  The two were about to hug when Sheamus interrupted on the Tron, and spoiled the moment by threatening bodily harm against Miz, including a "preview" when he Brogue Kicked the camera. Oooooohh, scary.
  
  And (2) Mark Henry squashed Bo Dallas in about 12 seconds. Yes, 12 seconds. It wasn't the match that counts as a "takeaway." Rather, I was amused by Bo's prematch spiel, in which he dickishly blamed all of Ebola on Dallas, and said he couldn't wait to "BO-leave." I laughed.
  
  And then, the event, proper, begins...
  
  
• OPENING THEME/HYPE VIDEO/ETC... and we're live at the American Airlines Arena in Dallas, TX, where Cole & The Gang welcome us to the show. I was there just 8 days ago. Not just in Dallas, but literally at the Arena (my brother's place-of-work is right next door, and we walked past the Arena's main gate to get there). I suspect I'm getting better value for my dollar by sitting at home, watching for NINE NINETY NINE than if I'd rearranged my travel schedule to pay face value to attend live (it's a legit sell-out of over 15,000 at the arena tonight; no freebies or stubhub discounts).
  
  
• DOLPH ZIGGLER BEATS CESARO IN TWO STRAIGHT FALLS TO RETAIN THE IC TITLE. Not screwing around, straight to the likely Match of the Night!!! Not that I'm putting any pressure on these guys to steal the show...
  
  Two out of three falls is an old school stip, and so Ziggler and Cesaro start things off with an old school feeling out process. Headlocks, reversals, chain wrestling, and so forth. Cesaro controls things after a quick back and forth, by using his strength advantage to keep Ziggler grounded.
  
  But then, all of a sudden, Ziggler gets separation, and gets a quick roll-up, which nets him a near fall and kicks off a sequence of them trading 7 rapid fire near falls (Steamboat/Savage-style). Impressive.
  
  A bit of triple-reversey results in Cesaro hitting a Giant Swing (a nice even 10 rotations). But then he makes the mistake of gloating, and when he goes over to hoist Ziggler to his feet, Ziggler immediately traps Cesaro into a small package (also very Steamboat/Savage-y), and gets the pin.
   
  Huh. After 3 minutes, Ziggler's already up 1 fall to 0.
  
  But he's also still woozy after the Swing, so Cesaro just pounces on him right away, jump starting the second fall, and sending us straight to our heel beatdown segment.
   
  Cesaro dominates for about 4 minutes, with multiple double-stomps and forearms, as well as myriad slams/throws. After one of them, he pauses and starts shaking out his arm, as if he might have strained a bicep, but he keeps at it.
   
  Finally, he sets up for his Deadlift Over the Rope Manly Manplex... but Ziggler counters by grabbing Cesaro's injured arm and clotheslining it over the top rope. 
   
  Ziggler with an extended hope spot, focused on that left arm. Cesaro can't shake him off, so he uses his power to get up to the second rope, with Ziggler still hanging on, spider-monkey-style. Then, he just threw himself backward for a killer modified superplex. Appropriately enough, the first "This is Awesome" chants are heard here.
  
  Trying to follow up, Cesaro charges Ziggler, who side steps; Cesaro eats the ring post. Ziggler hits a Fameasser for a convincing near fall. He goes for his big, fancy spike DDT, but Cesaro hoists him up for the Elevation Uppercut. That's good for an even-more-convincing near fall.
  
  Coming off that, they go all quadruple reversey for an awesome spot that ends with a backbreaker by Cesaro. No cover, instead, Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer... but Ziggler counters by hitting an over-the-shoulder armbreaker on Cesaro's bad arm.
  
  Flash superkick and a Zig Zag, and just like that, it's all over. Huh. A little over 12 minutes, and Ziggler wins in straight sets.
  
  I'm not saying it was bad. On the contrary, it was very good. But shame on WWE for creating a situation where fans had certain (perfectly reasonable) expectations due to the Best of Three Falls stip, and then they only gave Ziggler and Cesaro 12 minutes, which is even a bit on the short side for a single fall, and didn't even do the third dramatic fall.
  
  If you don't intend to actually let a match make use of a stip and evolve into something more than a basic throwaway match, then don't make the stip at all. Nobody wins: Ziggler doesn't win anything special, Cesaro doesn't get the "he put up an extra hard fight" bonus by losing in an especially epic match, and the fans sure as hell don't win. Then again, maybe the original plan WAS to give them a good 20+ minutes, but then some hyperreactive jackass (*cough*VINCE*cough) heard about Cesaro doing an interview this week in which he said he hoped Ambrose/Rollins was the main event because he's sick of Cena/Orton. And so they punished him -- for saying what the majority of fans already think -- by making him lose in two straight falls and in 12 minutes.  Yep, that's a totally Vince thing to do.
  
  Either way, when an empirically good match is THIS disappointing, something has gone very wrong. Boo, WWE, boo.
  
  
• BACKSTAGE: Triple H and Stephanie are hanging out, and in storms Randy Orton, who is all over-the-top polite as he requests the pleasure of Seth Rollins' presence, so he can have a little talk with him.
   
  But HHH knows the politeness is an act, and Orton just wants to kick the shit out of Rollins for what Rollins did on RAW. And so he nips that in the bud, by telling Orton that Rollins is actually a lot like him (Orton), and maybe Randall should take a deep breath and look at the bigger picture here. The Authority doesn't want Orton and Rollins going into their matches tonight at anything less than 100%. So hands off Rollins, and focus on beating Cena, and let's get through tonight.
   
  Randy agrees, but he seems to leave "beating the shit out of Rollins" on the table for as soon as tomorrow night.
  
  
• NIKKI BELLA BEATS BRIE BELLA, NOW BRIE MUST BE NIKKI'S ASSISTANT FOR THE NEXT MONTH. Straight-forward brawling to start, which plays to Nikki's size/strength advantage. Minor sympathy for Brie, what with all the hair-pulling and bullying, but the fans soon get bored with things and start chanting for JBL (Jeter/Yankee Stadium role-call style).
  
  Brie gets a hope spot off an X Factor facebuster, but Nikki snuffs that out, and hits Brie's husband's Aberdeen Facebuster knee. Boo? Crowd perks up when Brie rolls outside, and Nikki hits a big Flying Goat dive onto her.
  
  Match heads back into the ring, where Nikki eventually hits her Torture Rack Drop finisher... but Brie kicks out, and manages to work in her own homage to Daniel Bryan, cinching in a YES! Lock.
  
  But Nikkie gets the quick rope break, flattens Brie with a forearm, and then hits a second Torture Rack Drop.
  
  Six minutes, and by no means hateful, but at this point, WWE has already flushed any and all good will down the toilet with regards to time management, and every minute I see that could have been given to Ziggler/Cesaro, but wasn't, is just going to make me angry. And right here? There's six minutes they could have had, because there's absolutely no reason why this C-level E! Network nonsense had to be on PPV when WWE has so much trouble filling up 5 hours of free TV every week.
  
  In a vacuum, it was quite acceptable. But this isn't a vacuum, and as a result, I had a hard time enjoying it all that much. It's times like this where the Old Me would have busted out the bottle of whiskey to improve my mood. But Old Me had all of his pancreas and zero brushes with cancer, and could get liquored up while sitting alone on his couch on a random Sunday night, instead of having to save up his depressingly-sproradic boozings for social events. I miss Old Me.
   
  I'll try to make the adjustment manually. Mind over matter, Scaia, mind over matter...
  
  
• THE DUST BROTHERS DEFEAT THE USOS TO RETAIN THE TAG TITLES. Pretty fast start for the Usos, as they take it to Goldust, including a few double teams and rapid tags. But then Goldust manages a blind tag to Stardust, and Stardust catches Jimmy unawares while he's still dealing with Goldust.
  
  Some heel cutting-the-ring-in-halfery, for about 2-3 minutes, but then Jimmy's able to backdrop a charging Goldust out over the top rope and make the tag to Jey.
   
  Jey dives out onto Goldust. Then when Stardust charges, Jey chucks him out of the ring and dives out onto him, too. He tosses Goldust (legal) back into the ring, and hits a flurry of moves, getting a near fall after the running butt into the turnbuckle (as done by his dad, Rikishi).
  
  Stardust created a distraction, so Jey had to pause to superkick him off the apron. But it was enough for Goldust to strike with a stiff power slam. But then he whiffed on a jawjacker elbow, so Jey took over and tried to set up for a superplex.
   
  Stardust came in to break it up, and Jimmy came in to counter him... and the result was Stereo Superplexes (Jey on Goldust, Jimmy on Stardust). The Usos refocused on Goldust, with Jey hitting the Superfly Splash.
   
  Stardust had to break up the pinfall, and then dumped Jimmy out of the ring when Jimmy attacked. Then Jey hoisted Goldust up for a Samoan Drop... and Stardust clipped him from behind, taking out the knee.
   
  Lightning-fast, Goldust hit the Curtain Call and got the win. Champs retain in a solid 12 minute match that's probably not quite as action-packed as the IC Match, and yet somehow, more satisfying. I'll also give credit to a pretty unusual layout, where it didn't really feel like the Face in Peril bit lingered too long, and instead, the tag to Jey came at the 6 minute mark, and then it was a 6 minute End Game. As predictable and played-out as the FiP pyschology can be, this is definitely one way to maximize the goodness in a shortened match.
  
  
• JOHN CENA BEATS RANDY ORTON INSIDE HELL IN A CELL, AND IS THE NEW #1 CONTENDER. Welp, the fans (and Cesaro) got what they want. Cena vs. Orton, facing each other on PPV for the 20th time since 2006 (counting multi-way  matches like Triple Threats and Elimination Chambers, otherwise, I think it's the 13th one-on-one), has to pull midcard duty, while something infinitely fresher gets to main event. Yay.
  
  Cell lowers, door locked, bell rings. Orton immediately goes into berzerker mode, heeding HHH's advice about channeling whatever Rollins Anger he has towards Cena, instead. Lots of vicious brawling (even the classic Cheesegrater Spot with Cena's face). But when Orton goes for a steel chair, the delay is enough for Cena to stage a bit of a hope spot.
  
  But steel chair > hope spot, and so Orton puts an end to that, hitting a big DDT for the first near fall of the match. Off that, Orton also wedges the chair in one of the turnbuckles, but doesn't use it, as he has to tend to Cena, who has gotten back to his feet.
   
  Orton takes things out of the ring for a bit (another Cheesegrater~!). At the 5 minute mark, Cena's hit about 2 moves, total. The ratio is almost SummerSlam-esque.
  
  But not nearly as dramatic or exciting, because, well, it's Orton, and he's not known for being big on the kinetic energy. So it's here that I can't help but digress by mentioning there are some seriously weird shadows going on inside the Cell; at multiple spots in and around the ring, the guys are somehow in the dark from the shoulders up (even though there don't appear to be any shadows thrown on the actual ground/mat). That's some kind of wonky convergence of directional lighting and blockage...
  
  Anyway, back to the match, where Orton's still dominating, and the crowd is alternating between bored silence and random outbursts of "LET'S GO CENA"/"CENA SUCKS" (note: it seems like an almost 50/50 even split, which is about as good as it gets for Cena, anymroe).
   
  At 10 minutes, Cena gets a hope spot by countering an attempted Hangman DDT by backflipping Orton out of the ring. Cena rams Orton into the Cell a few times, but then Orton catches Cena with that crotch-to-the-post Atomic-Droppy move. Ouch.
  
  Back in the ring for a bit, then Orton sends Cena flying off the apron into the cage. JBL even calls it "The Tim White Spot," which is good because I always think of it like that, but never type it into recaps because I assume I'm the only one who does.
  
  Orton poses and taunts after that, so when he finally goes out to attack, Cena catches him, and gets another Cell-assisted hope spot. Then, Cena looks to extend the advantage by going under the ring for a table. Huge pop. He gets it set up in the middle of the ring, but by the time he fetches Orton to slam him through the table, Orton has recovered, and escapes.
   
  Then, he whips Cena into the corner... and it's the corner where he set up the steel chair 10 minutes ago, so Cena eats it, face-first. Orton continues the beating, pausing only to move the table from mid-ring to a corner.
   
  Said pause gives Cena a chance to fire-up with what SEEMS like his big comeback. He starts the Five Moves of Doom, but when he goes for his big flying shoulderblock, Orton snags him out of mid-air with an RKO!
   
  Whoa, nice one, Randall! THat's right up there with the mid-spear RKO to Reigns in terms of the sudden/shocking/out-of-nowhere factor.
   
  But it only gets a two count. Orton responds by whipping Cena into the corner. The corner with the table. Cena goes through it. Another two count.
   
  Orton wants more props. So he goes out and gets the top segment of the ring steps and sets them up in the ring. Orton goes for an RKO onto the steps, but Cena counters it and slams Orton onto the steps.
  
  No cover. Instead, Cena sets up for the F-U onto the table... but Orton weasels out the back door, and hits a big uppercut to Cena's scrotum. Ouch. Makes the cover, but Cena kicks out at two, only to curl back up into a ball immediately after.
   
  Orton decides to step back, and lines up the Bootie Kick o' Doom. Cena's veeerrrrrrrryyyyy ssllllloooooooooooowwwlllyyy getting onto his hands and knees. But maybe he's also playing a big of possum, because when Orton runs up for the punt, Cena dodges and picks the ankle.
   
  He's got the SSTF locked in. Orton fights and fights to get to the ropes, but in HiaC there is no DQ and thus, no rope break. But Orton does manage to use the leverage to pull himself out of the ring, and Cena has to let go.
   
  Cena picks up the ring steps, and tries to throw them out on top of Orton, but Orton avoids them. Cena has to go outside to get Orton back into the ring, and once there, they go back and forth quickly and Cena hits the F-U.
   
  Only a two count. Cena goes for a second one, and it looks like he's gonna get it... but at the very last second, Orton reaches back and turns it into another RKO. Very surprising, like the last one, but unlike the last one, it DID kinda require you to suspend a ridiculous amount of disbelief with regards to its plausibility.
   
  Of course, Cena kicks out at two, and after another grapple, he hits his second F-U. Orton kicks out at two. So each guy has hit two finishers. Best of Five, I guess?
  
  Cena decides to get another table, and sets it up, mid-ring. Then he sets Orton on top of it, and heads to the top rope... but Orton catches him. The two jockey for position on the top rope, and after two or three false starts, Cena gets the upperhand. Cena hoists Orton up onto his shoulders.
   
  A second-rope F-U through the table. Nice. And it's good for the three count. Just shy of 20 minutes, and really quite good... it took a while to get warmed up (the first half was just too lousy with Orton Being Orton), but the last half had lots of good, and lots of fresh spots that made it possible to forget that these two have done this an ungodly number of times in the past (and as recently as this past summer at Battleground).
   
  After the match, when the Cell was raised, Cena's first move was to head to the side of the arena where the Preshow Panel was set up. Heyman was on said panel, and was sitting there; Cena gave him the International Sign for "Call Me" because apparently he's got a message for Lesnar, now that he's the #1 Contender.
  
  
• BACKSTAGE: Big Show is warming up for his match against Rusev, and talking to his buddy Mark Henry. Show says he's totally gonna knock Rusev out, and then the two of them are headed down the road to Silsby (Henry's hometown) for some BBQ. Henry can dig that.
  
  
• SHEAMUS BEATS MIZ TO RETAIN THE US TITLE. I haven't mentioned it yet, so FYI: Lilian Garcia is now the lead ring announcer for WWE (Justin Roberts was released last Monday), and has been handling all the "RAW" matches. And Eden Stiles, from NXT (and also Tuesday Night's Main Event), is now  handling the second-tier/"SD" matches. She's doing this one.
  
  Bell rings, and Sheamus tries to catch Miz asleep at the switch by charging with a Brogue Kick. Miz sees it at the last second, and avoids it. But he can't avoid a strong start by Sheamus.
   
  At ringside, Sandow is his usual genius self mirroring Miz's moves/pain. In his most genius move to date, when Miz is tied in the ropes for the Ten of Clubs, Sandow ties himself up in the bottom rope, and sells each forearm blow. I love Damien Sandow.
  
  Miz tumbles to the floor, and Sheamus follows. Sandow manages to create just enough of a distraction (getting his ass kicked in the process) so that Miz can hit a boot to Sheamus' head and settle in for a nice mid-match heel beatdown.
  
  Well, for about 2 and a half minutes. Miz backdrops Sheamus out to the floor, but when he tries to follow up, Sheamus rams him into the barricade, and then hits a rolling senton on the floor. Big springboard battering ram. Irish Curse backbreaker gets Sheamus the first near fall of the match.
  
  Then Miz puts a stop to that by begging off and asking Sheamus not to deface the Moneymaker. Sheamus just chuckles, but does delay in attacking, allowing Miz to drop toehold Sheamus into the bottom turnbuckle.
   
  A little bit more heel beatdown. During which Sandow gets a huge "MIZ-DOW's AWE-SOME" chant after he mirrors Miz's "That was THREE!" tantrum after a near fall.
  
  When Sheamus threatens another comeback, Sandow gets up on the apron to create a distraction. It works, and Miz is able to attack from behind and hit the Skull Crushing Finale.
   
  But Sheamus kicks out. Miz decides to go up top, but when he flies off, Sheamus catches him in mid-air with the Brogue Kick. That'll do it.
   
  Eight minutes of solid action, taken to another level thanks to Sandow's awesomeness.
  
  After the match, Sandow dives into the ring to flop down next to Miz. Sheamus sees this, and decides to conduct an experiment. He raises Miz's hand; Sandow's hand goes up. He drops it; Sandow's drops. Sheamus drags Miz to his feet and sort of jostles him while groping his boob region; Sandow stands up and flails about. Sheamus takes Miz's arms,a nd starts doing the YMCA dance; Sandow does the same. And the punchline: Sheamus releases Miz, steps back, and hits another Brogue Kick; Sandow throws himself backwards as if he'd just been shot out of a cannon. Did I mention that I love Damien Sandow?
  
  
• IN THE PARKING LOT: Brie is putting Nikki's bags into her car. Nikki walks up and demands her smoothie; Brie has it ready. It's exactly as Nikki ordered, and she congratulates Brie on a job well done. Then she dumps the smoothie on Brie's head and says, "That one was for you. Now go get another one of the same for me, and bring it to my room." Nikki gets in the car and drives off.
   
  I assume this is the first of eleventy thousand of these skits over the next 4 weeks, and that it'll be old and annoying no later than tomorrow night.
  
  
• RUSEV MAKES BIG SHOW TAP OUT AND IS STILL ESSENTIALLY UNBEATEN. My stream had a massive stutter issue during ring intros for this one, and eventually a full-on freeze. By the time I reloaded, match had already started... I can't imagine I missed more than 30 seconds, though.
   
  I join in time to see Rusev dodge a charge by Big Show, and immediately go to work chopping Show down to size. He chopblocks the left knee, and just keeps his focus there for several minutes.
   
  It's pretty basic stuff, so we do get a few things to keep the energy up. The coolest, by a wide marging, was a hope spot for Show that Rusev ends by hitting a textbook vertical suplex. Wow. Im. Pressive.
   
  It builds up to Rusev calling for the Camel Clutch, but as he's setting up, Show reaches back and picks an ankle, cinching in a sort of modified bow and arrow submission. Rusev has to fight to get the rope break.
   
  But Big Show's comeback is on like Donkey Kong, and he tears off a bunch of moves, leading up to a Spear.
   
  With that, Mark Henry (ominously) heads to the ring. But Show's cool with that, and just smiles at his friend as he cocks the WMD. Show swings and misses, though... Rusev tries to come back at his with his big leaping front kick, but instead, Show catches him with a chokeslam.
   
  Rusev kicks out, and then rolls outside to regroup. Show has to go and fetch him, tossing him back into the ring. When he does, he pauses for just the slightest moment to receive a pep talk from Henry, and when he steps through the ropes, Rusev hits him with a savate kick.
   
  Henry gets up on the apron to do something, but HE eats a savate kick, too. Then two more savate kicks for Show. And then the Camel Clutch. Show doesn't tap, but he passes out and the ref has to call for the bell.
  
  Right at eight minutes, and about as good as you could have expected. That said, Rusev is at a place right now where you pretty much know what to expect. Such is life when you do the one dimensional winning streak thing; I'm not saying it's a bad thing (it isn't; it seems to be serving its purpose), but it just means there's a fairly low ceiling to Rusev's in-ring performance until that changes. This hit that ceiling, so that's nothing to complain about.
  
  Also, for as much as I dreaded the timing of Henry's appearance, it's a good thing he didn't turn heel. I want the monster tag team, and I think most others do, too. 
  
  
• AJ DEFEATS PAIGE TO RETAIN THE WOMEN'S TITLE. Champion enters first because, uhhhh, just because? Paige enters second, with Alicia.
  
  Very nice start with rapid fire chain wrestling and near falls, but the live crowd doesn't seem to be buying it. Shame on you, Dallas. AJ gets the better of it until Alicia creates a distraction, and AJ has to boot her off the apron.
   
  But it creates the opening for Paige to attack from behind and start on her beatdown. She immediately takes it outside, where she repeatedly whips AJ into the barricade. Nasty. Then back in the ring, where she punctuates the punchy-kicky-knee-y offense with skipping and other taunting.
  
  Paige settles in with a resthold, which AJ quickly fires up out of for her comeback. It's a dual stage comeback, with a false start (Paige seemed to short circuit it) and then the real deal. Lots of high octane flashy offense, but again, the live crowd is dead. Dammit, Dalls, this is why everyone likes Fort Worth better than you. [Ed. Note: I didn't know this was a death feud, but it is. As previously mentioned, I visited my brother in the Metroplex last week, and this is a for-real rivalry... Dallas and Ft. Worth hate each other, which I didn't know until now. Now, I'm just gonna stoke the flames.]
   
  Builds up to AJ locking in the Black Widow, but Paige is able to power out. They start going back and forth, with the match spilling outside. Paige gets up on the barricade, setting up for something... but AJ chops one leg out from under her, and Paige lands hard on the floor.
   
  AJ gets back in the ring, and the ref starts counting. Alicia gets worried when he gets up to 6, and decides to "help" Paige back into the ring. Actually, Paige is out, and Alicia deadlifts her carcass into the ring.
   
  AJ immediately slaps onthe Black Widow, and that's all she wrote. Very fine 6 minute match, but it definitely loses points for the atmosphere (or lack there of) created by the audience. I'm only letting it slide, Dallas, because your silence also means we got the first AJ match in six months without a "SEE EM PUNK" chant.
   
  After the match, Paige pummels Alicia for "costing her" the match, and so maybe that's a face turn? If nothing else, it underscores the story that Paige will take advantage of a "friend," but deep down, she's just as much of a loner as AJ.
  
  
• SETH ROLLINS WINS HELL IN A CELL OVER DEAN AMBROSE, AFTER A PREMATCH SEGMENT ON TOP OF THE CELL. Ambrose enters first, and storms to the ring, and starts pulling out props from under it. Chairs, kendo sticks, duct tape, a backpack with I-don't-know-what (looked like cans of something, maybe spray paint?), and was that a t-shirt cannon? So it's gonna be one of THOSE nights; alrighty, then!
  
  Then, as if that didn't set the stage effectively enough, Ambrose leaves the Cell, and climbs onto the roof (with a kendo stick). He makes it quite clear he's there to stay and they should introduce Rollins and start the match. Hell, yeah!
  
  So Seth Rollins makes his entrance, gesturing (Broadly) that he wants the match to take place in the ring, and he's not gonna play along with Ambrose's shenanigans. Also, he is accompanied by the New Stooges, Noble and Mercury.
  
  But when Ambrose declines, Rollins gives in. He defies direct orders from the Stooges, and starts climbing... but halfway up, he stops. He has a better idea.
  
  He grabs the Stooges and tells them to climb up there and bring Ambrose down so he can start this match in the ring.
  
  Jamie and Joey don't like the sound of that, but eventually capitulate. They start climbing, on opposite sides, and Ambrose just breaks into the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen. He can't wait.
   
  When the two finally get up top, Ambrose gives them a mocking golf clap. Even though they've made it up top, the Stooges are all scared and moving gingerly. So it's easy as pie for Ambrose to go to town on the both of them with the kendo stick.
   
  However, while he's having fun caning Noble and Mercury, Rollins has climbed up top, too, and pearl harbors Ambrose. Uh oh.
  
  Ambrose drops the kendo stick. The Stooges each grab a leg and keep Ambrose grounded. Rollins goes to town with the kendo stick, until Ambrose is unresponsive.
  
  Rollins calls for the Stooges to throw Ambrose off the Cell, but thankfully, he is able to fight out of it at the last second. Rollins sees which way the wind is blowing, and decides  to make an escape... he climbs down the side of the Cell near the announce tables.
   
  Ambrose sees this, and decides he wants to get his hands on Rollins more than he wants to toy with Noble and Mercury.
  
  He finally catches up to Rollins halfway down the Cell, and the two start trading blows. Back and forth. Punches, bouncing each other's heads off the Cell. And finally, both men fall at the same time. Rollins goes through the Spanish Announce Table, Ambrose through the English one, both from at least 15 feet in the air.
   
  Holy shit, indeed.
  
  For the first time since the very early days of HitC, we get a signature death defying stunt. WWE wisely cut that shit out over a decade ago, when the fans came to expect a "can you top this?" moment every time there was a Cell match. But instead of still peppering them in, here and there, they never used one again, ever, after, ummmm, I'm gonna say the Rikishi one. Then, partway through that movement, WWE also transitioned to TV-PG, and that made Cell matches another notch less special.
   
  But here we are: Hell in the Cell is back, baby!
   
  Both men are motionless, and EMTs hit the scene, and they eventually decide both men must be stretchered out. Rollins is first to be put on the gurney and rolled out. He's halfway up the ramp when Ambrose shows a spark of energy and fights his way off the stretcher... the EMTs go flying, and Ambrose chases down Rollins, pulling him off his stretcher, and throwing him back into the Cell.
   
  The Stooges protest, but the refs say this is all on the up and up. In the Cell, Chioda calls for the bell, as another ref chains the door shut. Predictably, the crowd goes even more batshit insane for this development.
  
  Ambrose immediately breaks out the toys, decimating Rollins with a steel chair. Ambrose threatens to use a screwdriver, but Rollins is able to fight him off. So Ambrose placates himself by hitting a running drop kick that sends Rollins into the Cell wall at approximately Mach 4.
  
  Ambrose sets up a table, on it's end, leaning against the Cell wall. But before he can use it, Rollins gets to his feet, and Ambrose has to deal with that. He does so by hitting a flying goat dive that drives Rollins back into the Cell wall (and also driving his own head into it, but Ambrose is not one to give a shit about such minutiae).
  
  Next up, Ambrose makes a pile of chairs in the middle of the ring, and intends to suplex Rollins onto it... but Rollins reverses, and suplexes Ambrose onto the chairs. Ouch.
   
  Now it's Rollins who wants to do something with a table. He makes a platform, with one table leg on the floor, but the other end resting on the apron. His plan is to suplex Ambrose out over the top rope, into the table.
   
  But now it's Ambrose who reverses things, clotheslining Rollins' neck on the top rope, causing Rollins to fall back onto the table. Oh yeah, you know what's coming next...
   
  Ambrose to the top rope. Ambrose off the top rope with an elbow drop through the table. Fricking awesome.
   
  Ambrose keeps the pressure on, ramming Rollins into the Cell wall, and even busting out the Cheesegrater... but all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Kane appears at ringside, and shoots a fire extinguisher through the Cell wall, into Ambrose's face. Ambrose is blinded, and Rollins pounces.
   
  Gotta admit, that's about 1000 OO Creativity Point in terms of finding a way to give Rollins a plausible comeback.
  
  Rollins immediately makes use of the one table, leaning against the Cell, by powerbombing Ambrose through it (a variation on his turnbuckle powerbomb). Then back in the ring, he hits a Curb Stomp, and makes a cover.
   
  But Ambrose kicks out!
  
  Rollins is frustrated, but has an idea. He goes outside and grabs his MitB Briefcase. He's fixin' to Curb Stomp Ambrose into the briefcase... but Ambrose moves out of the way at the last second.
   
  A quick grapple, and Rollins does his Rebound Clothesline. He wallops Rollins in the skull with the briefcase, but only gets a two. Now, it's Ambrose who has an idea.
   
  He goes under the ring, and pulls out two cinder blocks. He sets them up in the middle of the ring. He steps back, clearly intending to Curb Stomp Rollins back to the stone age.
   
  And then...
   
  BLACK. Not just lights out, but full on dark. A recording of a voice repeating the same phrase (but in reverse, so I dunno what it is) plays, and it's pretty much gotta be Bray Wyatt, right?
   
  We finally cut back to normal lighting, and the arena lights are still off, but the Fireflies are now visible, and there's a lantern lit in the middle of the ring. And it's giving off smoke/fog, with a sort of ghostly hologram figure in the smoke. OK, creepy. Both Ambrose and Rollins have taken a step back to neutral corners and are just staring at it.
  
  A non-distinct figure jumps into the ring and attacks Ambrose.
   
  Then full dark again for about 5 seconds, and back to normal (well, the lights are still out, but fireflies and spotlights on the ring), where Bray Wyatt is now hanging upside down in a corner.
   
  About one-third of the crowd start booing because of the non-finish. But another third are singing "He's Got the Whole World," and the other third are chanting "Bray is Gonna Kill You." So I think that's a net win. I know if I was there, I'd have been in the final third.
  
  Bray hangs for a bit, then Exorcist Walks over to Ambrose, springs up, and hits Sister Abigail. Then, he stand there chuckling as Seth Rollins (cautiously) approaches and makes a cover. He gets the three count, and can't get away from Bray fast enough.
   
  A bit over 25 minutes from the moment Ambrose cimbed up on top of the Cell, and probably 15 minutes, bell-to-bell. And it's your new Match of the Year in waiting. At least, in the heat of the moment, it is. Maybe a little perspective will come into play once I stop to think about it (I might still be tempted to go with a more "traditional" style in-ring performance), but I don't think I've seen a more dramatic, intense, and ballsy performance so far in 2014, and I KNOW we haven't seen a Cell match like this in well over a decade.
   
  The "cheap" finish doesn't even bother me, because it was so surprising, exciting, and visually stunning. I don't care for getting too cutesy just for the sake of being cutesy, but this was a case where an outside-the-box idea was actually pitch perfect for the character in question (Wyatt) and executed even better.
   
  Remember the very first Cell match? I don't recall if it wound up being the RSPW Match of the Year, but if it wasn't, it was on the very short list, as we all collectively peed our pants in glee at how awesome Michaels/Taker was. And that's why it became an annual event for WWE, and that's still how I remember it, even though Kane debuted and "ruined" that finish, too.
   
  Tonight? This was exactly the same thing as that. So to those who will probably hate on this match just because of that finish (and I'm sure there will be some), don't get all angry and line up to tell me I'm wrong. For starters, you only make up (at most) one-third of the audience, as based on live crowd reaction. For two, Hell in a Cell 1998 has already proved I'm going to be right once you have the benefit of hindsight.
  
  Rollins gets the win, but all eyes (and cameras) are on Bray Wyatt as we finish. And tonight, we do not fade to black. We end with a sudden Freeze Frame, but not the old Sheep Mask Freeze Frame; a new Bray v2.0 one. Works for me.
  

And so ends the show. Looking back, my main complaint is with the opener; everything else seemed to meet or exceed rational expectations. And I thought that, as far as screwy non-finishes go, that's about the best one we've seen in a while (several light years better than Bray's previous best, the singing kiddie), so the show passes the "last taste left in the mouth" test with flying colors.
 
I actually just went back and rewatched the last 5 minutes, to make sure I wasn't gonna come off like to gibberish spewing fanboy, and it's all good. I stand by that positive assessment. Even in a more analytic mode, the only thing you might possibly find fault with is that the two segments of pure DARK (not just lights out, but obviously cutting to a blank screen) were a bit awkward due to the length of them.
 
But I also get why they had to exist (to set up, and then disassemble the Hologram Lantern). Still, that's more an issue for the live fans, who could probably see that whole thing happening, whereas we home viewers  still got the pure shock value of the moment. And if two thirds of the live crowd still marked out after they kinda saw what was coming, I think that speaks to WWE making the right call on that trade-off of Momentary Awkwardness vs. Memorable Moment.
 
Orton/Cena did a bang-up job delivering a fun match despite having turned into the proverbial dead horse 2 or 3 years ago. Tag title match was really good, and the US Title wasn't too far behind albeit for more than a few Sandow-related reasons. I liked the Women's Title match more than the live crowd, but regardless, I don't think anyone would have a valid reason for not liking it at least a bit. And Rusev/Show and the Bellas both hit their ceilings, as near as I can tell, which is to be commended.
 
So yeah, we're back to that damned opener, the IC Title match, which might have been objectively the third best match of the night, but which was still disappointing and an off-pitch note on which to start the evening. The show still manages to be a Thumbs Up, regardless, but if you just find 8-10 more minutes for Ziggler and Cesaro to do a proper best-of-three-falls, you'd have a show that'd be essentially without major flaw, and in the discussion for PPV of the Year, with three awesome anchor matches spaced perfectly (one per hour) to create one of those special shows that is rewatchable from top to bottom.
 
Instead, it'll have to settle for being a show that was OK, but where the historical focus will be entirely on that main event, which will stand as the re-birth of Hell in a Cell matches, a breakout night for two young stars, and a hell of a signature moment for Bray Wyatt.
 
I guess I'll take it. I wouldn't be The Rick if I didn't point out how easily it could have been way better. But I'll still take it. Hey, as the posh nanny once sang, NINE NINETY NINE makes makes the medicine go down, in the most delightful way!
 
See you tomorrow for RAW...