To that end, he's got a Kickstarter, which has already funded his idea for an Indiana Jones-based story (actually, about Indiana's daughter, based in various underground poker rooms of the 1960s) that he'll direct himself. But after crushing his original goal, he's asking for help reaching a stretch goal of $50,000 to ensure the best quality film possible.
 
And yes, it's a for-real movie, with for-real celebrity Timothy Omundson (from "Psych," "Deadwood," "Jericho," and more) signed on as the bad guy, and one of the special effects teams that worked on "The Hunger Games" signed on for one massive stunt scene. Oh, and a live human being will be set on fire. Mheh heh heh heh, FIRE~!, mheh heh.
 
The kickstarter is here. There's lots of info about "Army of the Lost Horizon," as well as videos and pleas from Stephen and other people of varying levels of fame. I especially like the one where Timmy O. asks for your money so he can "wrestle" with my brother's wife. SLEAZY~! But also, funny, because I sat at the same table as Mr. Omundson at my brother's wedding, and he's just hilarious that way.
 
Drop a few bucks, if you can, and at the very least, you'll get a copy of the movie when it's done (this fall). And everybody loves anything even remotely related to Indiana Jones, don't they?
 
Well, maybe not everybody. But if you're here, it's because you love finding out what happens on PPVs without paying any money. And I love being your huckleberry. So here's what happened at the just-completed Money in the Bank 2014 "10-per-view":

• On the Preshow. With the departure of Josh Mathews, the preshow panel is now quarterbacked by Uberawesome Renee Young. UPGRADE~! Joining her are panel standbyes Booker T and Alex Riley, along with special guest, Christian.
  
  The 30 minute preshow features your standard hype and video packages (including a new "By the Numbers" one, in the vein of the Royal Rumble one, which was moderately informative). A backstage interview with Roman Reigns tried, but failed, to provide any added value. We also get an update: Wade Barrett's injury will keep him out of tonight's Briefcase Match (no word on a replacement, or just going with a 6-man match).
  
  But the drawing card for the preshow was an appearance by Daniel Bryan, who hit the ring to be interviewed by Michael Cole. He's greeted by huge cheers and chants, and when he tries to "shush" the audience, they respond with a "NO! NO! NO!" chant. So even as valuable TV time is dwindling away, Bryan gives in, and joins in on a "YES!" chant. Finally, everybody simmers down, and Cole asks, point blank, "When can we expect you back in the ring?"
  
  Bryan reveals that things aren't going so well, strength hasn't returned to his arm, and there's even talk of another surgery. That sucks, but it's also not entirely unexpected, given the whispers and rumors. Bryan says, however, that no matter what it takes, he will be back, and when he's back, he'll make sure it's at 100%, and it's with the WWE Title in his sights.
  
  Then, Cole basically turns it into an advertisement for tonight's 10PV, asking Bryan to answer varies questions about the show. This line of discussion meanders about for about 4 minutes, until "The Inspriational" Bo Dallas decides to interrupt. "Hey, buddy. I know you can't compete tonight. Gosh, that's gotta be a pain in the neck. [pause to enjoy the "zinger"] But you'll get back and you'll be the champion again some day. If you BOlieve."
  
  Bryan just rolls his eyes, and says, "Man, I think I speak for all of us when I say you're acting like kind of a BO-ner." This results in a "BONER BONER" chant. Then "So do us all a favor. Bo, LEAVE!" Play Bryan's music, because that's the punchline...
  
  WAIT! Sheep Mask Freeze Frame, and we cut to the Wyatt's lair, where Harper and Rowan are standing, and promise that the Usos end is near. Apparently, THAT's the punchline and the teaser for our opening match.
  
  
• Opening Video Package/Theme/Pyro/Etc. After an extended video introduction, Cole & The Gange welcome us to the PPV, proper, and the Used-to-be-The-Boston-Garden in Boston, MA. The stage is loaded up with ladders of various sizes, and also two Brinks-looking armored trucks in keeping with the money in the BANK theme(actually, they look like old, chintzy, repurposed ambulances, so start your mind racing on figuring out how WWE will be destroying one or the other of them). And then, it's time to send it to the ring for tag title action...
  
  
• The Usos defeat Luke Harper and Erick Rowan to regain the WWE Tag Team Titles. Another new ring entrance for Harper and Rowan. It's less creepy and more southern rock-y (with a brief snippet of "He's Got the Whole World" sung by a little kiddie as an intro) than the "Deliverance-y" thing they tried back on Monday.
  
  Some nicely paced back and forth action to start, with Usos winning on speed and flash, and the Wyatts winning power and brawling exchanges (although Harper DOES bust out one of his damned impressive standing dropkicks, too). For a solid 4-5 minutes we avoid anything resembling standard tag formula... but then Jey goes up for a moonsault, fights off attempted interference from Luke, which gives Rowan enough time to get to his feet and shove Jey off the top rope, all the way down to the floor (where he crashes into the barricade, chest first). Ouch. And also: thus begins our first extended offensive for either team, as the Wyatts go to town.
  
  About 3-4 minutes of that, and then Jey dodges a charge, and Rowan slams into the steel ring post. Big tag to Jimmy, and Rowan in at the same time. Jey's completely powdered out, so Jimmy actually has to fight off both Wyatts. Which works alright for the first 2 minutes, or so. He actually gets a couple of near falls on Harper, off of superkicks and samoan drops.
  
  Jey briefly rejoins the fight, and things get awfully chaotic, but start to swing back in the Wyatts' favor when Harper goes full-on Berzerker Mode, hitting Jimmy with a powerbomb for a convincing near fall, taking out Jey with a Flying Goat Dive, then chucking Jimmy out of the ring for a SECOND Flying Goat.
  
  Still only good for a two, so Harper tags Rowan in as the legal man, for some decidedly less-complex clubbering... Erick Rowan then forgets he's the stiff of his team, and tries to go up top for some move. He's not exactly smooth, though, and Jimmy knocks his leg out, crotching him on the top rope. Harper tries to lend a hand, but Jey re-appears, and takes him out.
  
  Then, both Usos climb up to the second rope, and hit a double team superplex on Rowan. Wow. Jey and Jimmy then pile on with a rapidfire pair of Superfly Splashes, which is enough to keep Rowan down for the three count.
  
  Very, very good match. It was about 15 or 16 minutes, and I swear, the formulaic "heel beatdown sequence" that we almost always talk about -- ESPECIALLY in tag matches, as they build to a hot tag -- only made up about one quarter of that time. These four served up an action packed opening sequence, and then almost 8 minutes of tremendous and dramatic End Game. That's a ratio you hardly ever see; it was like sitting down for dinner, being told you had to eat all of one floret of broccoli, and then being handed a whole carton of ice cream for dessert. Topping it off, a crowd pleasing finish that is always a solid way to kick off a PPV and prime the crowd.
  
  
• Backstage: Dean Ambrose is hanging out in front of a shaky-cam, and reveals he's wrestling with an existential crisis... part of him wants to climb the ladder and grab the briefcase. But another part is interested in smashing Seth Rollins' face. In a way only Ambrose can (OK, it's also sort of Heath-Ledger-y), he starts talking to himself, arguing whether it's "Case" or "Face." Case, or Face. Over and over again. Then he snaps back to full coherence, and figures he can have both. He'll get the former and use it to smash the latter.
  
  Works for me.
  
  
• Paige defeats Naomi to retain the Women's Title. Paige tries to start out all spunky, but Naomi has the answer at every turn. But while I'd opine that the story is Naomi being incredibly athletic, mixing size, strength, and speed, WWE's preferred narrative is focusing on how Cameron is at ringside, and is profoundly and flamboyantly unimpressed by her friend's strong showing. Oy.
  
  But for all my interest in praising the in-ring action (including a sweet chain wrestling exchange), things got kind of botchy on a superplex spot. It was apparently supposed to serve as Paige's big comeback spot, so when things went awry, it looked like the called an audible, and both stayed down while the ref applied a double count. Then Paige was first to her feet, and started firing up.
  
  It built up to a submission attempt (a stump-puller), which actually caused Cameron to smile. Naomi powered out of that, and that took us to back and forth End Game. A nice bit of double reverse-y set up a variation of an Implant DDT.
  
  Cameron celebrated Naomi's loss before regaining her composure and getting into the ring to console her "friend," while Paige celebrated the hardfought win. The one messy spot can't be ignored, but this was certainly a solid showcase for two of WWE's more ring-capable women... and if you're not into that, you can feel free to latch onto the Funkadactyl Drama. I'll only think SLIGHTLY less of you, if you do.
  
  
• Adam Rose beats "Paul Revere" in a Comedy Interlude Challenge.  Damien Sandow hits the ring, as Paul Revere. He declares that if he'd known Boston would turn out like this, inhabited by losers and the mentally enfeebled, he wouldn't have warned anyone that the British were coming. BOOOOOOO~!
  
  So here comes a Brit (actually, I think he's Australian, pretending to be English). Adam Rose, with his Menagerie of Hipster Wangnozzles, hits the ring, and declares that Boston is a party town, and it's time to get down, so why by a lemon, Damien, when you can be a Rosebud?
  
  Sandow attempts to wrestle in full costume, and as you'd expect, that doesn't go so well. But hey, it IS an excuse to use the word "dickey." Mheh heh heh: "dickey." Actually, Sandow gets more offense in than any other time since his shift to costumery... it was downright awesome when he set up for the Elbow of Disdain, but prefeaced it by shouting "The Elbow is coming! The Elbow is coming!" And then he nailed it.
  
  Genius. Just brilliant.
   
  That got the crowd behind him, too, and they went ape-poopy when he hit the You're Welcome slam... but it only got a two. Then Sandow whiffed on a moonsault, and Rose followed up with the Party Foul, for the win.
  
  Poor Sandow. Poor, poor Sandow.
  
  
• At Ringside: Hey, look, it's Jon Stewart, with his kid, and sitting next to Robert Flores from ESPN. JBL declared, "I love Jon Stewart," which means either JBL's lying to suck up to a celebrity, or he's a rare far-right-y guy with a sense of humor about it.
  
  
• Mix Tape: Dean Ambrose got a full length pre-tape all to himself, earlier. But here, they just shoe-horned soundbites from the other five guys (remember: no Wade Barrett) into a quick segment.
  
  
• Seth Rollins wins the MitB Briefcase Ladder Match, topping Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Rob Van Dam, and Jack Swagger. I'll take this moment to once again congratulate Lilian Garcia on a fine dress. I know I basically do that once a month, like clockwork, but it's well earned this month. All kinds of peek-a-boo perv windows in spots that you wouldn't think would be hot, but it turns out, they're still attention rivetting.
  
  Eventually, all six men are introduced and make it to the ring. And then, about 3.2 nanoseconds after the bell rings, Dean Ambrose attacks Seth Rollins, Dolph Ziggler pairs up with RVD, and Kofi Kingston stays in the ring with Jack Swagger... and Kofi gets the better of that, and makes the first ladder ascent of the night.
  
  And also gets the first Holy Shit chant of the night, when Ambrose makes the save, but pushing the ladder over, causing Kofi to adjust in mid-air, jump off the ladder, springboard off the top rope, and dive onto Dolph/RVD/Swagger (who are out on the floor). Amazing.
  
  It also clears the way for Ambrose and Rollins to get an extended sequence to themselves. They each get a pair of ladder teases, but it's too early for that. Finally, all the other guys get back to their feet and rejoin the fight.
  
  This time, there's a focus on Dolph and Kofi, as they fight off everybody else, and make repeated stereo ladder climbs, showing off their evenly-matched speed. Rollins breaks up that Mutual Show-Off Society by ladder-clotheslining both guys out of the ring.
  
  Now, it's Rollins vs. RVD for a bit, culminating in a new Atomic Rolling Thunder variant, with Rollins on a ladder that's been suspended acros the bottom turnbuckle. Dolph attacks, and eats a DDT. Swagger attacks, and gets a Five Star. RVD finally is cleared to climb, but Kofi's the one who steps up to stop him. Swagger joins in, and RVD and Kofi both step down to take him out.
  
  RVD and Kofi go at it again, eventually ending up both on the top rope, where they jockey for position long enough for Swagger to recover, and slam the ladder into Kofi's back. Then, Swagger sets up the ladder in the corner, and pulls RVD onto it, intending to hit a superplex from the top of the ladder...
  
  But nope. RVD headbutts Swagger off, and calls for a top rope Five Star... but Nope again, as Rollins climbs up behind RVD. Now, RVD sets up for a ladder superplex... but Swagger comes up from under RVD, and powerbombs him off the ladder, instead. Ouch.
  
  Immediately, Ambrose re-appears, and chucks Swagger out of the ring, and climbs up the ladder (where Rollins is still woozy), and THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM. This time, the ladder superplex hits, and Rollins is the victim. Wow. Ambrose has the starch taken out of him, too, so he's slow to recovery and attempt his own ladder climb.
  
  Ziggler's back to snuff that out, and then Swagger and RVD are back in, too. Mutli-way brawling results in Ambrose and Rollins standing tall, and climbing a ladder. Ambrose punches Rollins off, but Swagger's there for another save. Ambrose deals with Swagger, but Rollins has climbed back up top, and Ambrose has to dump the ladder over.
  
  But in so doing, he's clearly favoring his left arm, and refs and trainers surround him and try to check on him. Ambrose tries to talk them out of it, but finally the trainer has seen enough, and tells the ref that Ambrose can't continue. So the ref "ejects" Ambrose. Just like that. Huh.
  
  Back in the ring, Rollins and RVD are now climbing the ladder... then Kofi joins in, and builds a ladder "bridge" between the mid-ring ladder and the ring ropes. RVD is chucked off the ladder, and then Kofi hits a back drop, sending Rollins onto the ladder bridge. Holy mother of god.
  
  Kofi is the first man to get his fingertips on the briefcase, but Ziggler makes the save, and then Swagger and RVD are back, too. Ziggler wins the four-way brawl, and has his sights set on the case after Zig Zagging Kofi onto a ladder. He gets halfway up the ladder, when Swagger appears, and cinches in an ankle lock... Ziggler actually keeps pulling himself up the ladder with his arms, while Swagger tries to drag him down by the ankle. Finally, he gets extended enough that he's able to use his other foot to kick Swagger off.
  
  With that, Ziggler becomes the second man to graze the briefcase... but Rollins has finally gotten back to his feet, and swats Dolph off the ladder using a steel chair. Rollins climbs the ladder, and seems a mortal lock to win...
  
  And that's when Ambrose sprints out to the ring to a massive pop, pulls Rollins off the ladder, and peppers him with chairshots. Ambrose climbs the ladder, and is inches from victory when the ringposts erupt in flames, and Kane hits the ring.
  
  One Tombstone later, and Ambrose is finished.
  
  Then, Kane stands guard and holds the ladder while Seth Rollins recovers, climbs up, and grabs the briefcase. Rollins celebrates, and makes his way up the aisle, where, all of a sudden, Motorhead plays, and Triple H and Stephanie appear.. they're all smiles, and join in the celebration, as Ambrose is still half-out-of-it, but clearly annoyed, in the ring.
  
  Amazing 25 minute match, and while it's not a happy ending, it's still a compelling one, which can also serve as foreshadowing for the main event (where no doubt, we're to expect Kane to aid Orton in winning, but tons of stuff can still go wrong). Layers upon layers! Just stop whatever you're doing and go youtube it. Or better yet, quit being a choade, and just shell out your $9.95 per month, already. A year ago, this match would have been "worth" at least half the $50 price tag of a PPV... so without even considering the rest of the 10PV, or the thousands of other hours on the Network, you basically MADE MONEY by subscribing to the Network and watching this match.
  
  Expect this one to be in the discussion for Match of the Year. The (intenionally) cheap finish may keep it from winning, but it'll be on the shortlist.
  
  
• Backstage: speaking of layers and foreshadowing the main event, here's Randy Orton for an interview, who (dismissively) says Yeah, sure, he's happy for Seth Rollins, and that the Authority's plan worked, but that's not how he rolls. Later tonight, he'll win the WWE Title, and won't need any help to do it.
  
  
• Goldust and Stardust defeat Ryback and Curtis Axel. New full-on tandem entrance for TeamDust (not just a mash-up of pre-existing theme songs). And also: new ring gear for Axel, who is now sporting the full Mr. Perfect singlet. As usual, I approve of however many pages he wants to steal out of his dad's playbook.
  
  Back and forth start, with both teams cycling through a few tags. Stardust is definitely a hit with fans, and the crowd eats up his two-handed star pose. But all good things must end, and about two minutes in, the bad guys take over, and Goldust is your face in peril.
  
  After 5 minutes of that, Goldust avoids a Meathook and dives to his corner for the hot tag. Stardust in, and either the novelty has already worn off, or the heel beatdown went on too long, because the crowd goes mild.
  
  Stardust seems about ready to win after a nice reversal of the Shellshock into a CrossRhodes... Axel makes the save, Goldust takes care of him, and then Cody whips Ryback into Woozy Axle, causing a head-to-head collision. Cody gets the win on a roll-up. Fin. Straightforward, by the book tag formula. Nothing special, but the story here is that TeamDust is for real.
  
  After the match, Axel tries a sneak attack, but gets taken out with a new tandem DDT move. So you've got new music (which I think I really like; it's so bendy, and bendy on the BASSline, which is something I count among the items in my bag of musical tricks), new posing/taunts, and now a new tandem finisher. Maybe the inevitable Cody vs. Dustin feud isn't as imminent as I thought.. this seems like a whole lot of effort to put into a team that won't get at least ONE shot at the tag titles.
  
  
• Backstage: Fandango is about to be the special ref for a match between Summer Rae and Layla. Byron Saxton interviews him, and the story he spins is that Fandango is in the middle of a love triangle. To drive that point home, Layla and Summer show up, and each lay claim to Fandango's affections. The look on Fandango's face says, "I don't care which of them beats the other, cuz no matter what *I* am coming out of this the real winner." Which would be true, if only I wasn't so sure one of the two was lying about wanting to bone Fandango. Ahem.
  
  
• Alexander Rusev beats Big E. Langston in a very special "Didn't Both Our Names Used to be Longer?" Match. Also known as "An ideal chance to take a pee and grab a snack." Lana with prematch cheap heat that would have worked a lot better in the 80s. Big E with an inset pre-tape promo done in his inexplicable preacher voice (seriously, why have a guy as naturally charasmatic as him adopt such a blatant affectation?). Then the bell rings.
  
  Building on their match last month -- where E was the first person ever to take Rusev off his feet -- Big E got off to a fast start. But when he tried his Twixt The Ropes Spear, Rusev remembered that and countered it.
  
  Rusev pounds away on Langston for a couple minutes. Big E fires up, and once again takes Rusev off his feet a few times, building up to nailing that Twixt The Ropes Spear. I don't care that this match is an exercise in pointlessness, THAT is still freaking amazing.
  
  For the first (and only) time, the crowd shows signs of life, with a "YOU ESS AYE" chant. Then it's back into the ring, E's strap comes down, and Rusev immediately shoots back with some stiff kicks. Then, Lana gives the order, and Rusev crushes. By which, we mean he cinches in the Camel Clutch.
  
  Langston comes close to powering out, but Rusev re-cinches, and we're done here.
  
  Assuming you don't have some sort of horrible medical condition, I assure you that you got back from the bathroom in time to see the only highlight of the match. Otherwise, nothing to see here. Move along.
  
  
• Backstage: the Bella Twins are chatting, when Stephanie storms up to them and asks "What are YOU doing here?"... the response is that Brie is the sister of one WWE superstar and the wife of another, and she's here as an invited guest. Steph says there's a difference between "invited" and "authorized," and Brie is NOT the latter. Brie takes out her phone, and randomly reveals she's got a new favorite viral video... and somehow (through the magic of Retarded Writing and Production), Brie's phone screen pops up into frame at full resolution, so we can watch Steph being dumped in the Mystery Brown Slime. Then, the shot cuts back to Steph and the Bellas, and Steph calls for security to eject Brie from the building. Brie relents and says she'll leave on her own.
  
  And somehow, this was deemed worthy of PPV time, when it's already 10:10pm and we have a silly Love Triangle Match before we get to another Ladder Match. I'd feel stupid for recapping it, but I suspect this will end up having to do with Brie's reinstatement, so I suspose you deserve to know.
  
  
• Layla defeats Summer Rae, and Fandango is the Special Ref. I think it was a month ago when I said Paige's abundence of youthfulness (both in terms of actual age, and having an appearance of being even younger) might drive me into the arms of Layla, who is commendably age-appropriate for me. To clarify, that's not the only reason, and Layla's extra-curviness on display tonight is very much appreciated by The Me. To clarify the clarification: I have no idea what the hell is up with the wang-shivellingly fetish-ish Eyes-Wide-Shut facemask, but I'm a dude who doesn't obsess over the wrapping paper when the present is awesome. Winner: Layla.
  
  Fandango's rocking a bedazzlered ref shirt, which is somehow pitch perfect. But at the end of the day, this is still a deal that should probably have been dealt with on RAW, not a PPV. So the crowd amuses itself by chanting "SEE EM PUNK," instead of paying attention. And the announcers amuse themselves by talking about how Jon Stewart will be talking about this Monday on the Daily Show.
  
  [Ed. Note: No, he won't. He's on vacation. For two weeks. And I know this because about 80% of the TV I watch is late night stuff, and my DVR is disappointly devoid of any recording this week, because they're ALL on vacation. No Stewart, no Colbert, no Ferguson, no Conan, no @midnight. What a miserable week to be me.]
  
  Then Layla wins with a front kick out of nowhere. And then makes out with Fandango, while Summer looks heartbroken. Huh, that's not what I was expecting. Then again, I was expecting that Summer's character wasn't so lacking in self-esteem that she actually still wanted to be with Fandango (instead of wanting to screw with him).
  
  Whatever. Nothing of value here, but also, very short, so I'm not gonna get too worked up. Neither should you.
  
  
• John Cena wins his 15th WWE Title by winning a Ladder Match over Randy Orton, Kane, Roman Reigns, Cesaro, Sheamus, Bray Wyatt, and Alberto del Rio. It seems to me we're already running a tad late, but that doesn't stop Triple H and Steph from making a superfluous entrance to observe from ringside (they take a seat in the timekepper cubicle)... looks like sending Kane out to help Rollins was just the start of their chicanery, afterall.
   
  Also: I want me Cesaro's new Battle Robe. I never wanted to wear a bathrobe in my entire life, and then I had the Medical Unpleasantness this past spring. And I spent 2 months in my boxers, wearing a bathrobe whenever I answered the door.  Now, I sorta like wearing a glorified bathrobe, from time to time, and calling it a "dressing gown," a la Arthur Dent. And Cesaro's new Battle Robe replaces Sandow's old Battle Gown as my favorite... feel free to let me know if you know how to get one!
  
  Finally, all 8 guys are in the ring, and it's go time at 10:30pm (eastern). Short of using up every last second of available time, I guess they won't even try to top the Briefcase Match? Eh, that's the sort of thing a Wanker would say. And I'm not that. Usually. So let's sit back and enjoy this for what it is...
  
  Just a massive Pier 8 Brawl to start, without the clearcut "pairings" like the earlier match. Instead, the big brawl simmers down to Orton and Kane cooperating and taking advantage of the LACK of teamwork elsewhere (notably, Cesaro and del Rio keep sniping at each other, despite both being heels).
  
  Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt get an early Spotlight Moment, recalling February when the two were captaining their respective teams in a 6-way match. After the staredown, Reigns won the quick fight, then the ring started filling up again. Sheamus and Reigns actually decided to work together, using a pair of ladders to sandwich Kane...
  
  A rare moment of comedy saw Sheamus realize his ladder was shorter, when they both set them up to start climbing. But in the end, that didn't matter, as del Rio showed up to dump Sheamus, and Cesaro shoved Reigns' ladder over. Kane then won a quick Pier Sixer, but showed absolutely no interest in winning the match himself.... instead, he set up a ladder, and then dragged Randy Orton to his feet and told him to climb. DASTARDLY~!
  
  HHH and Steph approve. But in the end, it doesn't matter, cuz here's Reigns to make the save. Wyatt stops Reigns. Then here's Cena to stop Wyatt. And then, Cesaro stops Cena with an awesome Elevation Uppercut. Cesaro climbs, and is the first guy to get fingertip contact...
  
  Then Sheamus climbs, and join him on top. Both guys have hands on the belts, and Wyatt shoves the ladder away. Both Cesaro and Sheamus are hanging above the ring. Cesaro drops Sheamus with headbutts, but can't keep his grip, and falls himself.
  
  As we reset, they shoot it to a random clip of Orton getting dumped by Reigns a few moments ago... ahh, I see, it's because the bump ended awkwardly, with the ladder following Orton and crashing into his skull. And now, Orton is bleeding from the top of his head. It looks like trainers have done a decent job of triage, but there's a puddle of blood on the apron.
  
  After the reset, Orton makes a comeback, and it boils down to him versus Sheamus. In a callback to last MitB, Sheamus gets dumped on a "ladder bridge" between the ring and the barricade (it's the spot that cost Sheamus about 6 months of his career), and Orton follows up with a Hangman DDT off that ladder bridge. Ouch.
  
  Orton now grabs an extra-tall ladder (it actually touches the belts once set up underneath), and starts climbing... but everybody -- sans Sheamus -- gets in to put an end to that. It gets extra schmozzy for several intense minutes, but Kane once again seems to get the better of it, and once again shows no interest in winning. Instead, he shows interest in causing more carnage. Once he clears the ring, he approaches Sheamus' limp carcass, teasing a chokeslam on the floor.
  
  Instead, Sheamus finds an extra reserve of energy, hits the Ten of Clubs, and gets on a roll. Both Reigns and Orton try stopping, and both get turned back. Cena tries his hand, and eats a Brogue Kick. Sheamus resets the Extra Tall Ladder, but Kane creates just enough of a distraction to allow Cesaro to grab his own ladder, and set up a ladder "bridge" of his own between the Extra Tall Ladder and a turnbuckle.
  
  Sheamus climbs the tall ladder, and Cesaro walks across the bridge to join him. Then, del Rio shoves the "bridge" ladder so that it's stuck INSIDE of the tall ladder. Then, Reigns tries to put a stop to things by turning over the tall ladder... instead, it only goes partway over and rests on the "bridge," like a third leg. Wild. Sheamus and Cesaro keep brawling, even after being turning 45 degrees.
  
  Then, Wyatt resets the tall ladder, and the "bridge" is used as an unkind landing spot for Cesaro and Sheamus (and also for Wyatt, who got suplexed onto the part of the bridge that extended out from the tall ladder). Just fucking insane and creative.
  
  Kane is once again trying to set the ladder for Orton, when Reigns spears Kane THROUGH THE LADDER. Nice. Orton tries to pounce with an RKO, but Reigns counters with a Superman Punch. Sheamus tries to attack, another Superman Punch. Del Rio attacks, he eats the Running Apron Dropkick thingie. Bray tries his luck, and gets a Modified Apron Dropkick (except on the announce table, instead of the apron).
  
  I may not have gotten all the moves, but it's down to Reigns and Cena, now. They try to milk it, like the time Hogan and Warrior were alone in the ring during a Rumble. The crowd's not QUITE all the way on board, but when Reigns nails a spear, they're plenty enough on board with THAT>
  
  HHH and Steph are furious and worried. "Worrious?"  Reigns sets up a ladder, and climbs, but Orton's able to get back to his feet and sneak up behind Reigns, yanking him backwards, and hitting a ladder assisted version of the Wrap-Around Backbreaker. Nice.
  
  Orton starts climbing, but Bray materializes with a Flash Abigail. Bray starts climbing, del Rio yanks him down and hits the Run-Up Enzuigiri, followed by the Concussor Kick.
  
  Del Rio on top of the tall ladder, fingertips on the titles, when Sheamus dumps the ladder, and del Rio falls into the ropes.
  
  Sheamus climbs the tall ladder. Cesaro's turn for the save, pulling Sheamus off and hitting him -- out of mid-air -- with an Uppercut. Flash Neutralizer.
  
  Cesaro climbs, Orton pulls him off. Mid-air RKo onthe way down. Orton climbs.
  
  Reigns with the save, climbing up alongside Orton. Headbutts. Ramming Orton's face into the ladder. Orton's busted wide open again (this time, his forehead, not the top of his head). Finally, Orton falls off... but there's Kane, who immediately chokeslams Reigns off the ladder.
  
  Kane steadies the ladder, and pulls Orton up again, helping him towards the titles. Cena with the save, clubbing Orton in the back to stall him, dropping Kane, and then pulling Orton off the ladder into position for the F-U. Hit it.
  
  Cena climbs, and just as the Leaked SummerSlam Poster told us, is your new WWE Champion. It's the 15th time for him.
  
  It wound up going pretty much 25 full minutes, taking up the full timeslot available. And while it didn't, as a whole, compare favorably to the prior ladder match, it was damned good, anchored by that crazy "three legged ladder" spot.
  
  I'll leave it to others to bitch about the finish. Myself, I know I spent my entire PPV Preview (on the forums) coming up with ways where we could still get to the spoiled Cena vs. Lesnar SummerSlam match, WITHOUT Cena winning here tonight... and some of them were damned great ideas. But I also don't have nearly the same disdain for Cena vs. Lesnar as others might, so I'm happy to accept that as the SummerSlam match.
  
  Cena winning tonight might not be the path I'd have taken (especially after it was leaked), but I'm not opposed to the ultimate goal, so I can live with it. So let's call it an outstanding match, quite youtube-worthy, but still only the second best of the night.
  
  Since we're running way late, Cena gets all of 30 seconds of celebrate before we fade to black....

And so ends the show. I don't think there's any valid, rational way to give a negative critique to the overall, three-hour product. You just don't get that many shows -- call them PPVs or 10PVs or the rare free-per-view on Mondays -- where you get three matches as good as the three matches we just got tonight.
 
Yeah, part of me is a bit letdown by the main event taking such an obvious path (one so obvious that we were joking about it BEFORE the leaked SummerSlam poster/DVD art)... but that's more a personal thing, related to the fact that I did spend 10-15 minutes typing up a PPV preview on the Forums, and my entire mission was "how do we get to Cena vs. Lesnar without doing the bludgeoningly obvious?".
 
And as it turned out, I was pretty happy with my answers to the problem, and once I realized it was possible to get to the same end (which I consider inevitable for a litany of reasons, and actually kind of look forward to), I got really attached to using different means to get there. But WWE didn't do that.
 
D'oh. Times like these, my default is always to think "Jesus, I sat down for 15 minutes this afternoon and fixed this for you. And you had a week to figure it out, but did THAT." It's true: I have a superiority complex.
 
Well, not always and not in all things. But when it comes to knowing how pro wrestling works,  yeah, I'm smarter than most, and I see no reason to pretend otherwise.
 
So Cena winning, followed by the odd off-note of the Authority acting ultra-pissed (this would have been the correct response to REIGNS winning; by all storytelling leading into the match, the Authority were more interest in Reigns NOT Winning than in Orton Winning, and Cena's win might be more towards the unfavorable end of the spectrum, but it wasn't HHH/Steph's Worst Case Scenario, either, not by a long shot) just didnt' quite ring true or achieve Ultimate Satisfaction, the way a main event should.
 
But c'mon... it was still a good match that might even have exceeded expecations. And that other Ladder Match. Sweet fancy Moses, that other ladder match. Also, you can't sleep on the tag title match, which was streets ahead, man, streets ahead.
 
Forget the other stuff falling a bit flat, or seeming more RAW- or SD-worthy... you just don't get PPVs where a full 90 minutes of the show are THAT incredible.
 
The only way I might retroactively amend that is if WWE pulls some horseshit where they use Rollins' win as a prop for the overall Authority storyline, and force him to cash-in sooner than later on Cena (only to meet the same fate as Sandow, last year). But I don't think that's the goal, just yet; I think Rollins will have short term awesomeness with Ambrose (who definitely came off like a star tonight), and get to ripen fully before there's a serious move towards a cash-in.
 
Ergo, let's call the 2014 Money in the Bank 10PV a strong A-minus, after I complete all the calculus involved in such a strong top-of-card and forgettable rest-of-card. Some stuff worth youtubing, if that's how you roll... but also, another fine argument for just breaking down and paying your $10 per month.
 
See you tomorrow with the RAW Recap, kids. Till then, feel free to thank me, as is the style of the time. Your support is much appreciated; thanks in advance to all who lend a hand.