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WWE presents Hell in a Cell 2012
October 28, 2012

by The Rick
Undisputed Lord and Master of OOWrestling.com


A quick question for OO Nation: do I have anybody out there who knows stuff about Data Recovery? Preferably who knows how to do it, but I'll be grateful for any advice.
I've had an external hard drive (a WD 3tb, USB 2.0 model) go tits up recently, and I've reached the end of my ability to research and troubleshoot.

But also: I know in my heart of hearts that data recovery doesn't cost $300/hr, and refuse to pay into that scam.
Since the drive was no longer under warranty, I had the balls to take it apart, and installed the bare drive into my PC. No dice. Same issue: it powers up (inside the external inclosure, the blue LED would come on, and then just blink; installed as an internal drive, you can hear it whirr up), but then it does a quick series of clicks and spins, and just goes silent. In both cases, it never gets recognized by either Windows or OSX, and sits there.
If anyone can take that information and tell me what's wrong (or just tell me if it's worth pursuing a fix, or if it's done), I'd be grateful. If anyone out there can tell me what's wrong and offer to help me get it fixed for free (or at a reasonable cost, unlike what professional data recovery seems to cost), I'd be even more grateful.
Help the Rick. I'm on my knees, here. I can't tell you how much time and aggrevation you'd be saving me if I can recovery this drive.

And now that you've listened to my desperate plea, here's what happened at the just-completed Hell in a Cell 2012 pay-per-view:

  • Opening Montage/Pyro/Etc., and we're live in Atlanta, GA. We're going with a three-man booth for tonight's show, as Michael Cole welcomes us to the show, flanked by both JBL and Jim Ross. And we're not wasting any more time...

  • Randy Orton defeats Alberto del Rio. If you haven't heard, Lilian Garcia was hit by a car on Friday, in Los Angeles. WWE originally reported she was in stable condition and expected to make a full recovery, but has since amended their story to sound significantly more vague. Whatever the case, this is usually the spot where I'd say something lascivious about Lilian, and instead I have to settle for sending out OO Nation's best wishes for a full recovery. Also, I have to report that they've dusted off Tony Chimel to handle ring announcing duties for the SmackDown side of the card.

    Oxymoronic start for Randall, as it's technically a "fast" start in the sense that he's in command out of the gate, but it's also a start in which he uses the stultifying dull Garvin Stomp as part of his beat down. That is not "fast." Two minutes in, Ricardo creates a distraction, allowing Alberto to take control. Immediately, he goes to town on the left arm, as a prelude to the cyclonic arm breaker.

    The tepid assault (armbars, etc.) gained some steam when del Rio locked in a rope assisted cross-arm-breaker. Think Alberto's finisher having a bastard love child with Tajiri's Tarantula, and you've got the idea. Neat. Then he slammed Orton's left shoulder into the ring post before resuming the rest holds for a bit.

    Hope spots for Orton every minute or so, but nothing takes until 8-9 minutes in, when Alberto actually goes for the regular cross-arm-breaker submission. Orton gets a rope break, and when Alberto pauses to register indignation, Orton manages to recover for a nice little rally.

    Picking up some steam, now, Orton actually starts setting up for the RKO, but when he "coils" and pounds the mat, he re-injures his own left arm. [It's not as funny as when he REALLY hurt himself doing that, but it still makes me chuckle.] Alberto with a Backstabber, but only for a 2 count.  Then, a cool spot: Alberto goes up top, Orton catches him. Orton tries for a superplex, but Alberto fights him off, and Orton falls backward, with his feet still hooked in the turnbuckle. Alberto just leapt off with a double stomp to Orton's torso. Rude.

    Then, and equally ugly spot, as del Rio went up top again, and was obviously supposed to be thwarted by Orton. But Orton was lost, meandering around on the other side of the ring. So Alberto eventually jumped off, and landed on his feet, without any damage done. Then Orton tries to hit a standing drop kick to cover, but Alberto has decided to run the ropes and go for a clothesline, and it was just a mess for 10 seconds before they got back on the same page.

    It's at this point that Ricardo interferes again, stalling Orton's momentum, and seemingly giving the final advantage to del Rio. So of course, it's just as Alberto is confidently beating Orton down that Randy lands his patented RKO out of nowhere. And just like that, it's over.

    A serviceable 15 minute opener, for sure. But it still mostly felt like a free Friday night match. I would assume this means that Orton's little 2 month run of being a back burner guy (due to filming a movie) is over. After being completely absent from RAW in that span, and not being featured when on SD, this probably serves as his "re-boot."

  • Backstage: Vickie Guerrero is being interviewed, and promises that she has evidence that AJ was in an "inappropriate relationship" with John Cena, and she will reveal it on RAW. You know, part of me thinks this would be a great swerve if it somehow ended with getting to see an AJ Sex Tape. The rest of me knows nothing that awesome will be allowed to happen in today's G-rated WWE, and is resigned to being almost as disappointed as I was when Ric Flair promised nekkid pictures of Miss Elizabeth at WrestleMania 8, and didn't deliver.

  • The Rhodes Scholars defeat Team Friendship via DQ (Team Friendship retain the tag titles). Champs enter first, to separate music. Then the challengers enter together (to Cody's music). On the way to the ring, Sandow requests cessation of the music so he may speak. Using many large vocabulary words, he contends that the Rhodes Scholars are paragons of skill and teamwork. Further more, at the end of the match, he and his partner will be able to proudly declare (at this point, Cody produces a mic, and joins Sandow in saying) "WE are the tag team champions. WE ARE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!" Delightful.

    Kane and Bryan are not amused at the grammatically correct subversion of their joint catchphrase, and proceed to decimate Sandow to start the match. Sandow makes an early desperation tag to Rhodes, and Rhodes takes a whupping, too. Then, at the 3 minute mark, a blind tag by Sandow and a chop block to Kane changes the flow of the match. Heels cut the ring in half for a couple minutes, unloading a mostly punchy-kicky offense on the big man.

    Just as JR notes how unexpected it is that Kane (instead of Bryan) is the one getting beat up, and seemingly the weak link, Kane fights out of the opposite corner and makes the (decoy) hot tag to Daniel. Bryan is on fire as he kicks the crap out of Sandow, and then out of Rhodes when Cody tries to interfere. He caps it off with his no hands plancha onto both guys. Then, as he tries to resume his attack on Sandow (the legal man), Rhodes is able to trip him up as he's climbing back into the ring. Just like that, we're where JR expected us to be: with Bryan as the face in peril for the real heel beatdown sequence.

    Crowd's strongly behind Bryan, chanting "YES!" with every feeble offensive blow he lands, but the Rhodes Scholars are firmly in control for several minutes. Hot tag to Kane at the 12 minute mark, and Rhodes gets the full brunt of Kane's attack for all of 90 seconds, when Bryan decides to blind tag himself into the ring to take advantage of Kane's handiwork.

    Whoops. Bryan only gets a two after a swandive headbutt, and then things deteriorate into a Pier Four Brawl. In the chaos, Bryan aims a knee at Rhodes, but it lands on Kane. Kane is furious, and he and Bryan start arguing. Cody tries to take advantage by attacking Bryan from behind, but when Cody goes for a pinfall, Kane breaks it up, and just goes ballistic on Rhodes. The story here, we are told, is that Bryan got Kane riled up, and then Rhodes was in the wrong place at the wrong time when Kane decided to let loose.

    The ref puts a 5-count on Kane (for illegally attacking the legal man), and Kane doesn't stop. Disqualification.

    Huh. Didn't see that coming, but then again, my mind doesn't work that way; I think in terms of finishes, not cop-outs. Still, a reasonably amusing 15 minute match, and a way to keep this story going without either team looking bad.

  • After the Match: Kane and Bryan bicker. Duh.

  • Backstage: an interview with Miz, in which he shamelessly bases his entire promo on the show "Doomsday Preppers" (which has paid to advertise on WWE). In short, Kofi holding the IC Title is tantamount to Armageddon, and Miz is going to save the world tonight. Slightly less shorter: I feel like a jackwad for giving a brain dead shitfest of a "reality" show, like "Doomsday Preppers," a shout-out, but Miz's promo left me no choice.

  • Kofi Kingston defeats The Miz to retain the InterContinental Title. Out of the gate, the story here is that these two hate each other. So screw the grapplingsmanship, and it's full-speed-ahead brawling. First high spot of the match is when the match spills outside, Miz tries to whip Kofi into the ring steps, but Kofi double jumps it and rolls through (as we've seen him do before). But when Kofi tries to reverse and clothesline Miz (as he's done before), he walks right into a big boot from Miz. Because Miz has seen Kofi do this stuff before, too. Nice.

    Back in the ring, and it seems we're settling in for the mid-match beatdown already. [It's only been 2-3 minutes.] Comeback and rally for Kofi at the 5 minute mark, but it plays to a disappoint level of silence. Shame on you, Atlanta. Boom Drop lands to a minor pop. Miz avoids the Trouble in Paradise, but eats a Steamboat-esque high cross body for a 2 count, and then falls prey to the SOS for another near fall.

    Miz regains control with a unique maneuver, where Kofi tries for a rope-assisted kick, but Miz catches his leg and drops down, wrenching Kofi's knee. Then, it's a surgical focus on said knee, turning Kofi into the proverbial one-legged man in an ass kicking contest, which -- as JBL notes -- is especially problematic for a high flyer.

    Miz gets several minutes of sustained offense, but he can't put Kofi away. He begins to show frustration, but doesn't give Kofi any room to mount a comeback. But who needs a comeback? Because the first time Kofi manages to get even the slightest separation, Miz turns back towards Kofi and walks into a Trouble in Paradise. Forget the RKO coming out of nowhere, THAT is a total left field move. And it's enough to score the win.

    Around 10-12 minutes, and pretty good. Not nearly as good as when Kofi won the title, but OK. Or at least: way better than the live crowd gave it credit for. What kind of downers are they putting in the water down there?

  • After the Match: Matt Striker gets in the ring to talk to Kofi, and Kofi thanks Miz for forcing him to reach down and "unleash the wildcat." Ten out of 10 for winning, minus several million for attempted nicknamery, Kofi.

  • Backstage: more bickering from Kane and Daniel Bryan, this time of the more humorous variety. Things such as "vegan Halloween candy" and "Old MacDonald's goat" came into play. Very fun.

  • Antonio Cesaro defeats Justin Gabriel to retain the US Title. Before the match, Cesaro does a long rambling rant in Swiss. Which is nice and all, but as I mentioned on Monday, it probably works better if the crowd can chant "USA, USA" at him. Which they can't when Gabriel is the opponent.

    Then again, it probably also works better if the crowd isn't heavily sedated. ZING~!

    Seemingly zero interest as Cesaro and Gabriel kick off their rubber match. They move fairly quickly to the heel beatdown, which if nothing else looks damned convincing. Cesaro's just got a killer arsenal of stiff moves, and Gabriel's skilled in the area of being a ragdoll.

    Gabriel tries to fire up at the 4 minute mark, including a sweet doublejump lionsault (JBL even calls it: "Shades of a young Lionheart there!"). Only a two. More offense by Gabriel is met with a "We Want Ryder woo woo woowoowoo" chant. Oy. Gabriel goes up for the 450 Splash, but Cesaro moves. Gabriel adjusts in mid-air and rolls through the landing. Gabriel continues on offense, and sends Cesaro outside the ring. Gabriel tries to follow-up with a springboard planch, but instead... he flies and is met with Cesaro's wicked Elevation Forearm Uppercut.

    Gabriel is dead weight as Cesaro tosses him into the ring and then hits the Neutralizer for the win. A 6-7 minute match that saw both guys at their best, if you ask me. But if you ask Atlanta, they apparently disagreed. Who do you trust, OO Nation?

  • Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara defeat the Prime Time Players. During ring intros, Cole takes a moment to mention Lilian. It turns out she was released from the hospital today, and is at home, so that's really good news. It's also an excuse for JBL to bust out some Chimel jokes.

    Of note: Chili (a/k/a "by far the hottest one from TLC") is at ringside, and is cheering for the PTPs, which seems awfully insubordinate. OK, I lied. That wasn't "of note."

    No time is wasting turning Rey into Ricky Morton. As the PTPs dominate, a discussion of Titus' college football background prompts JBL to note, "Hey, you know the only difference between God and Steve Spurrier? God doesn't think he's Steve Spurrier."  I approve.

    Hot tag to Sin Cara at the 4 minute mark, so we're operating under Time Compression Rules. Or maybe not... after all of 60 seconds, Sin Cara is the face in peril. Just like our earlier tag match, it appears we've got us a Decoy Hot Tag here. Can't say I saw that coming, what with this being the PTPs we're talking about here. Frequent tags by the PTPs, but not as much genuine teamwork, like we've seen out of Kidd/Gabriel (or even the Rhodes Scholars) in recent weeks.

    Just to annoy me, one of the ways the PTPs kill time is by putting Sin Cara in the always-thrilling Abominable Stretch. Zzzzzzzzzzz... at this point of the evening, Atlanta and I are on the same page.

    At the 10 minute mark, Titus wastes too much time taunting, and Sin Cara catches him with a flippy counter move. Both men down. Both men tag. Rey comes in, en feugo. Darren Young gets his ass handed to him. Titus tries to interfere, but Sin Cara easily dispatches of him, leaving Rey and Young alone in the ring. Dial up a (619), drop the dime, and it's over.

    Solid formula tag match, and if they had an extra 12 minutes to fill on the PPV, there are far worse ways to fill it than this. I have an inkling it'd have been even better if it was half that (abdominal stretches really annoy me; even in the pantheon of rest holds, it's a particularly shitty one), but your mileage may vary.

  • After the Match: Rey initially has to celebrate all by himself, because Sin Cara is still sprawled out on the mat outside the ring. Trainers are checking on him, tending to his head/neck. His last move was a plancha onto Titus, but after checking the replays, it turns out it was his "flippy counter move" where Sin Cara hurt himself. Luckily, he seems to shake it off, and is able to join Rey in the ring to celebrate. Let's hope he's still OK after a proper check up with the docs backstage.

  • There's a First Time For Everything: so Vince has tried and failed at every single non-wrestling thing he's every done. He's finally found one that will be a success. This video package is evidence that he's the official producer/distributor for the Rolling Stones PPV concert in December. Forget boxing and bodybuilding and football leagues. The Rolling Stones are too big to fail, no matter Vince's track record!!! I can't wait to illegally download the show! I mean, I like the Stones. A lot. But they're 80 years old. I can put any one of their albums, released 10 years before I was born, whenever I damned well please, and it will rock my socks off. Especially "Sticky Fingers." Vince will get rich off the novelty act, nonetheless.

  • Big Show defeats Sheamus in a Hell in a Cell Normal Match to win the World Heavyweight Title. Wait, so this isn't a Cell match? What the hell? Did I just make the proverbial ASS out of U and ME? Did WWE never announce this as a Cell match? Or am I right, and they're ret-conning here? I mean, wasn't that the whole point of Dolph's promise to cash-in? That the Cell match is brutal, and no matter who "wins," they'll be easy pickin's? What's the record for the longest paragraph comprised of nothing but questions? Probably Colbert's awesome skit on last Thursday's Report, no?

    Early trend seems to be Sheamus "taking the fight" to Big Show, like the fiery Irishman he is. But fire is no match for 7-foot and 500-pounds, so Show keeps getting the better of it, no matter how many times Sheamus tests him.

    For pretty much the entire opening 6-7 minutes, it's nonstop clubbering, including Show throwing Sheamus into all the ringside furniture. Sheamus, being the albino that he is, is absolutely covered in welts. A convincing visual to say the least. Who needs blood when you can have Big Show's palm print on your chest?

    Combine the visual evidence with the announcing ("This is what happens when a Giant wants to send you a message for not taking him seriously"), and it seems like Big Show will be invincible. And then... well, if you thought I didn't like the Abominable Stretch, I freakin' HATE the bearhug, and that's the move Show resorts to. All of a sudden, I'm not so convinced he's that much of a bad ass.

    Sheamus eventually tries to power out, but when he goes for a body slam, his back/ribs buckle, and Show lands on top of him. Then Show lands a Vader Bomb. Then, it looks to be curtains... Show calls for the Chokeslam. But Sheamus counters with a DDT. Only gets a 2 count, however. Sheamus goes for the 10 of Clubs, but Show just shoos him away. Quick double reversey, and Show lands the chokeslam.

    But only gets a 2. D'oh.

    Show goes for the Camel Clutch, but only after wasting time acting frustrated. Sheamus is able to escape before it's cinched in. Sheamus then tries to get the Cloverleaf, but is kicked off by Show. Match spills outside, where it turns into a back and forth brawl. Show eats the steel ring post, and suddenly Sheamus has traction.

    Back in the ring, Sheamus lands about a half dozen Polish Hammers in a row, and for the first time, Big Show is off his feet. Sheamus lifts him back up and.... HOLY SHIT! Sheamus is able to cleanly hoist Show up and lands the White Noise. That's impressive. But it only gets a 2.

    Sheamus starts calling for the Brogue Kick, and this is the loudest the crowd has been all night. When Sheamus goes for the kick, Show grabs his foot, and counters with a lightning quick WMD. But Sheamus kicks out! Whoa. Big pop. HUGE pop. Announcers say it's the first time ever anyone's kicked out of the KO punch, and they may be right.

    Show is massively frustrated, but finally decides to just stalk Sheamus with his fist cocked. As soon as Sheamus gets up, he'll land another WMD... but Sheamus must have sense it, since he ducks, bounces off the ropes, and hits the Brogue Kick out of nowhere. Makes the cover. Only 2 again!!!

    Sheamus is incredulous, but immediately starts setting up for another kick.... but when he charges, he runs right into Big Show's right fist. A second WMD, and this time, we get the 3 count.

    Maybe not a workrate classic, but if you like wrestling, you will like this. A 16-18 minute match that just made superb use of Show's unique traits, and built to an incredible End Game. Drama and excitement out the wazoo.

  • After the Match: Show leaves, victorious, and there is nary a sign of Dolph Ziggler. So apparently when WWE forgot this was a Cell match, he forget his promise, too? This is lame. Or am I making too big a deal out of this, and we should just be happy about how unexpectedly enjoyable that match was, regardless of whether it tanks to whole Ziggler subplot or not? I'm not even Ziggler's biggest fan (I mean, I'm a fan, but I'm not like most of the Wankers out there), and I find this distasteful that you spend 5 weeks hyping something and then NOTHING HAPPENS. It's not even addressed. Boo, Writer Monkeys, boo. Or, boo, whoever makes the Writer Monkeys do stupid things even though they know better, boo. I know that happens sometimes, too.

    Also, after the match, they tried desperately to goose the Standing Ovation of Respect out of the audience. But they weren't interested in giving it. Me neither, really. Which makes me a prick, because Sheamus really did take a convincing-as-hell beating, which is why the match worked so well.

  • Backstage: a Booker/Eve/Teddy skit is interrupted by Zack Ryder, dressed as a witch. This leads to the inevitable jokes at Eve's expense. So Eve leaves in a huff. Then Santino introduces his buddy Santino, who is dressed as Lady Gaga. Enter Ron Simmons. You know the rest.

  • Elsewhere Backstage: CM Punk approaches Vince McMahon, and demands to be shown respect. In this case, "respect" takes the form of canceling his match versus Ryback. Vince is all "Why? You scared?" and Punk is all "No way." So Vince says Punk should be grateful for the chance to go out and once again prove he's the best in the world. Check and mate.

  • Eve outlasts Kaitlyn and Layla in a Tripe Threat Match to retain the Women's Title. Listening to the announcers try to explain the backstory was hilarious. It's obvious they were working off notes, and this was the big attempt to set the record straight. They still made almost no sense. It ended with "And so, therefore, ergo, and thusly, for all of the previously stated reasons, Aksana did it. Except, probably she didn't." D'oh.

    We get about 30 seconds of Kaitlyn and Layla teaming up on Eve before they remember they both want the title, and start going after each other. JBL gets a nice line in, "Layla was a Miami Heat dancer in 2008. She has as many rings as Lebron." Suck on it, Lebron!

    Kaitlyn wins a pretty nice exchange of mat wrestling over Layla, but that's not worth much when Eve gets back in the match and goes to town on her (while Layla powders out). Eve dominates Kaitlyn for a bit, but then Layla gets back involved, and takes Eve out.

    More extended Kaitlyn/Layla wrestling. Kaitlyn plays a little bit of Girl Ryback, marching around with Layla hoisted up over her head, before hitting a gutbuster. When Eve gets involved, it starts to break down a bit, and gets sloppy. JBL gets a bit douchey with the passive/aggressive coded mockery of the match, but whatever.

    Big finishing spot actually gets positive response from the crowd, as Layla goes for a top rope cross body on Kaitlyn, but Kaitlyn catches her in mid-air, cleanly, and turns it into a powerslam. But when she goes for a cover, Eve (already perched) comes off the top rope with a Swanton Bomb onto both. Eve shoves Kaitlyn off, and covers Layla herself, and gets the win.

    Not as good as the tag match was on SD. But late sloppiness aside, it wasn't bad, either. A tolerable 5-6 minutes. Then again, 5-6 minutes of ogling Kaitlyn will never be time wasted for The Me.

  • Backstage: Big Show cuts a very brief, but very effective promo. He's a giant, he's the champion, he dares anybody to do something about it. Slam cut to another room, where trainers are still tending to a battered and half-conscious Sheamus. Show's point is only further punctuated by that sight.

  • Interlude: back at the commentary desk, they hype Survivor Series, but also, JBL seems genuinely sincere when he apologizes for the crappy job he did commentating the women's match. Maybe that wasn't passive aggressive mockery, but just lack of preparation. Or maybe it was mockery, but he had the good sense to feel sorry about it.

  • CM Punk defeats Ryback to retain the WWE Title in a Hell in a Cell Match. The video package for the main event starts at 10:28pm (eastern). The Cell's lowering starts at 10:31. The ring entrances for the main event start at 10:32. The full boxing-style ring intros start at 10:36. The bell rings for the main event at 10:38.

    To flip one of my favorite Hitchhiker's Guide lines on its ear: minus 10 for putting Ryback in a PPV main event, but plus several million for not asking him to do anything more than he can. If this is what we're doing, then at least we're keeping it short so that Ryback doesn't get exposed and look like ass in his first big match. Which is pretty much what would happen if you ask him to go 10 minutes.

    Hey, lookie: it's the sketchy New Ref who screwed the pooch six weeks ago, and has been conspiciously inconspicuous since!!! Almost like WWE wanted us to forget that a developmental WRESTLER from FCW suddenly showed up on WWE TV as a ref. Ahem.

    And so, let us all await the Dropping of the Anvil.

    The Atlanta crowd takes the "Goldberg" chants to new extremes, not surprising since that's where Goldberg was born, and they might actually remember him. Whereas other cities are just chanting that at Ryback to be dicks.

    A little cat-and-mouse by Punk to kill time and create the illusion of stuff happening. Then Ryback gets his hands on the mouse, and begins the beating. Punk gets a brief respite when Heyman distracts Ryback, allowing Punk to grab a chair... but after all of one or two blows, Ryback just punches the chair back into Punk's face.

    More Ryback, until he pauses to lead a "Feed. Me. More." chant, which allowed Punk to strike from behind. But he can't dent Ryback. Two top rope double-sledges only drop Ryback to a knee. Punk tosses Ryback out of the ring, and follows up with a torpedo plancha, both men slamming into the Cell wall. Ryback into the ring steps, but again, it doesn't seem to do the same damage that it'd do to a mortal man.

    Back in the ring, and Punk settles for a chinlock. No, not a homage to Orton.... instead, it's pretty clear that this is being done to let Ryback rest. It's 6 minutes in and he is sucking wind badly. D'oh. Punk even lays Ryback out in the middle of the ring and taunts extra long before hitting the Macho Man Elbow, just to let the poor guy get his wind.

    Punk then goes looking under the ring, and finds a kendo stick. He lands a few big shots while Ryback continues mustering his strength.... then Ryback starts just no-selling the shots, grabs the kendo stick. Uses it. Tosses it. Lands the Meathook. Yells, "Finish it!" Hoists Punk up. Marches around.

    And all of a sudden, Sketchy Ref (and FCW Superstar) Brad Maddox decides to punch Ryback in the balls. Ryback drops to his knees, and drops Punk, too. Punk gets up and hits a schoolboy roll-up, and Maddox hits a fast count. A very fast count, just in case Ryback's scrotum is as indestructible as the rest of him. Done, and done.

    A 9 minute PPV main event. This is why you don't push Ryback that fast before his skill set matches the job description. He's not even the Ultimate Warrior, yet, in terms of carry-ability. Not horrible or anything in the botchy sort of way. But if you call this a climax to a PPV, you do not know what words mean...

    BUT WAIT!!! Perhaps we are not calling this the climax to a PPV...

  • After the Match: Ryback is MAD~! The refs have a hard time unlocking the Cell at first, so Punk hides behind the ref, and then just feeds him to Ryback. Ryback goes to town, and the crowd is loving it. But Maddox is merely an appetizer.

    The cage has just been unlocked, and Punk has just started beating his retreat when Ryback finishes Maddox with the Shellshocked. Ryback is able to make up that ground, and starts chasing Punk around the aisle/ringside area.

    Then Punk does something very stupid.

    He starts climbing the Cell.

    And Ryback follows.

    Oh my.

    Both men, on top of the Cell. Punk stumbling around and begging off, like a good bumbling heel. Ryback stalking him.

    Ryback finally gets his hands on Punk. Lands a few punches to take the final bits of starch out of the champ.

    Then Ryback hoists Punk up on his shoulders.

    Marches around.

    And drops Punk, full force, with the Shellshocked on top of the Cell.

    It's a Holy Shit visual, in and of itself. But it goes to Holy Mary Mother of Fuck status when you notice how close the Cell segment came to collapsing under them. I don't know if Ryback spazzed and put an extra 1000 psi behind that landing, or if the Cell was just inadequately tested, but there was some serious bowing. It was about to give. And you could tell Punk instantly panicked and started saying his prayers to the Holy Mother mentioned above, because he immediately started rolling around and found the nearest "beam" of the Cell. Then he laid there, very still, while Ryback celebrated on top of the Cell in front of a rabid crowd to end the show.

So, OK, the main event wasn't that good. And normally, that spells doom when I'm doing the recapping, because of how heavily I weight the "last taste left in my mouth."

But in this case, the main event was superceded by a show-closing angle that was quite impressive. Last taste: delicious. Part of me wants to complain that they should have come up with a finish that didn't cost Ryback his first loss (since we all know that is what ended Goldberg's hopes of mega-stardom)... but on the other, who the hell is going to remember Ryback lost? So it's kind of like they got it out of the way, and it's no longer a crutch or impediment to storytelling, and yet, it didn't hurt Ryback one bit, since they gave him the glory shot at the end of the PPV.
That's an ending I enjoyed, and more to the point, it's an ending people will talk about.  I won't give a surplus of Rick Gold Stars to the show as a whole, or anything, but that's a big ol' "Mission Accomplished" in terms of making lemonade out of lemons in the main event.
THrow in the unexpectedly excellent Show/Sheamus match, and you have yourself a  decent little  show. Nothing else really got above "Friday Night Special" status, which underscores that this was, at best, an "off month" PPV for WWE, and not one of their Grand Slam shows. But it sure wasn't a waste of time or money either.
Per usual, if this recap has saved you any time or money (or just amused you, if you did actually see the show), you know how to thank OO. Donate a few bucks to keep our bills pad, if you can. I appreciate it.

Talk to you again, soon, kids...


SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28




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