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WWE VELOCITY RECAP
Nothing to See Here
September 19, 2005

by The Cubs Fan
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

next weekend: Yea, yea, last shows, whatever - I've actually embraced this conclusion so long it no longer actively interests me. (Wait till I get nostalgic in a few days and that'll change.) Anyway, I don't know what you're doing, but I'm celebrating the home of so many great Jamie Noble matches by seeing James Gibson in action, at IWA-MS's TPI Tournament. If you're in the Lake Michigan area and want to see two nights of great indy wrestling, it's worth your time to check out one of the two nights. I may pull it together to do recaps afterwards. I may just sleep blissful sleep. I may go to a lucha show. Who can say?
 
The end of the video clips in a bumper probably was the sign Spike is rebranding again - and here's new bumpers to prove it. Why not change it again? It's work so well the last fifteen times.

TV PG V CC entertainment open

Forced to stand in the Excess studios once again, it's Romero and Josh.

Things I'm Not Going To Miss (a new feature with a short lifespan): "Supershow" tapings turning the weekend in shows into recaps shows, Steve Romero, this set in general. These two are setting up the #1 contender announcement

and so we see it. I don't think a verbal contract is binding, but this way, the set up is incredibly hokey. The set itself with the RAWtron and the SmackDown entrance tunnel is also hokey. Wow, this went long. Guess we don't got anything to do. (9:15)

Still To Come: Batista vs Nunzio in a champion vs champion match

oh no scary killer notes by IM! This probably lives up to the standard of the movie with scary notes by e-mail.

WWE Rewind, sponsored by Serenity: LOD keeps the titles over MNM on SmackDown.com two weeks ago.

This week, much the same. (2:20)

Up Next: JBL vs Rey Mysterio

If I had a dollar for every time they've said Friday Night SmackDown! so far, I'd have...uh, about seven dollars. But I could use seven dollars. Nothing happening here.

JBL/Rey. Considering all the times someone's been added to a match (much less it changed), why didn't Long just make it a three way with Rey? Maybe he doesn't like triangle matches? I could buy that. (2:35) After the match, someone realized that Jillian had no role with MNM and gave her to JBL. JBL's rich, right? He could get that lanced off. Wouldn't cost much. Maybe he just clothesline her hard and off it'd go. I'm overthinking this. (1:08)

SmackDown! Live
09/18 - Oil Palace, Tyler, TX [SD! Live]
09/19 - Amarillo Civic Center, Amarillo, TX [SD! Live]
09/20 - United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, TX [SD!]
09/27 - Laredo Entertainment Center, Laredo, TX [SD! Live]

TNA commercial here

Velocity is sponsored by Playstation 2, Clearsil for Men, Serenity.

Josh and Romero have bad chatter. We're a half hour in and they've done nothing memorable, good or bad.
Batista vs Nunzio - the whole match! Why did Nunzio agree to this match? Not too smart. (3:26)

No Mercy: Batista vs Eddie Guerrero [WORLD]
Exactly how many months are they going to reuse those video clips from WrestleMania? Cheap!

This WWE Shopzone commercial tries to convince you that you'll only be let into this bouncer's club if you're wearing WWE merchandize; being WWE merchandize (like the Coach) isn't even good enough. So I guess this is the World?

TNA commercial here

WWE Slam of the Week, sponsored by Boost Mobile: Kennedy beats London, on SmackDown!.com.
Because we've got nothing better to do, here's the Sharmell/Kennedy bit from that show too. Odd that they've airing all this stuff a week after it aired, but I think it's more that they have nothing to do rather than a belated attempt to make sure everyone saw this stuff. (1:35)
Continuing Ken Kennedy's Positively Kanyon cameos, here's he is on SmackDown from last week. Hey, when a heel says the "changing Friday nights" line, are we allowed to laugh at how stupid it is? (1:36)
And then he had a match! What is this, the Ken Kennedy segment? I guess I'm slow on the pickup. Again with the time limit! Wasn't Biohazard white the last time I saw him? I don't even know anymore. Why are they chanting "Suck You"? Oh, the whole match too. This is going to be one of those things where people go to the top rope way too much against Kennedy, right? (2:39)

Up Next: Orton vs Undertaker.

I think we've had a UFC commercial every single break. So annoying. It being "the turning point of the entire season" means it won't suck from here on out, right? Hope so!

Nothing makes me want to play video games like a ugly guy in his underwear, I tell you.

Orton/Undertaker video package, because we're in no hurry. This is seriously the least descript recap show ever, and that's a tough standard. (1:36)
and now the match. You can't get a casket delivered? I guess the hearse would've given away the shocking reveal of it being a casket. Notice at now time do we the figure in the casket and the crowd; sign of it being pretape. Maybe Orton found out this Undertaker was actually the fake Undertaker all along, and he's got the real one there? We could call him Ben. Maybe it won't make any sense. Good to see the annoying slow counts run in the family. If I was the Undertaker, the first thing I'd do is check on the casket, but I guess he didn't care all that much. Neither do I! Cole: "There is only one Phenom!" Well who's the guy in the casket then, wise guy? (5:34)

Josh and Romero try to process. It's too much for them. Do they promo the last Velocity? Nah. Do they work in the awful SmackDown! catchphrase once more? Sure.

That's it. ONE TO GO.

E-MAIL THE CUBS FAN
VIEW THE WWE VELOCITY ARCHIVES


 
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