open - MexiCools lasted ONE WEEK before they got replaced MNM. Future generations are going to be very confused by that bWo/Mexicools match!

Paul London (Austin, TX, 195 pounds) vs Frankie Kazarian (Anaheim, CA, 210 pounds) - London's sliiiiiiiiiiiiide is distracted by Candice. What's with the collared shirt? And new tights, huh. Oh no, I don't like where this is going. DRAW THE BOX. London draws his own box. I didn't get a good look at it, but the announcer note London's gear has the Pac-Man logo on it. Josh: "It's always cool when you mix video games with sports entertainment!" He misses the R-Trigger on your Gamecube. Your ref is Charles, Lockup, into the corner, Frankie tries the cheap shot, London ducks under an armdrags him down. London with an armbar, Kazarian reverses, London rolls to a reversal, Kazarian rolls to a legscissors. Josh is talking about the Super 8 tournament here. Headlock is escaped, and London gets a hammerlock. Up into an armbar. Shot off, no, London just armdrags Kazarian down. Back up to their feet again. Into the ropes, London whipped, back with a shoulderblock. London off the ropes, Frankie drops down, London stops and stomps his hand. London back to the armbar, Frankie reverses, London uses the ropes to flip out, but Kazarian stops that with a forearm to the back. Forearm to the chest. Corner whip, Frankie charges, London kips up and out, London ducks Frankie's punch before Frankie throws it, London tries the shoulder to the midsection but it doesn't work because Frankie's just now throwing that punch - huh. Let's reset. London gets in a kick to the midsection, and comes in with the Mushroom Stomp. Josh sings the song. London crazy walks, then runs right into a Kazarian overhead belly to belly suplex, throwing him back first into the corner. Of course London lands on his head and neck - that's what he does. Suplex. One two no. Neck vice. London rallying up. Right hand, kicks to the hamstring to get free. London misses on a kick, Frankie gets under him, bridging electric chair suplex! One two NO. Kazarian and London locked hands to keep them together on that one. Kazarian with a reverse neckbreaker hold, but London uses the ropes to climbing up and over, ending with the Dropsault. Both getting up. Frankie charges into a boot. London off the ropes, wheel kick. Forearm, whip, reversed, no London with his whip break into a spinning kick to the head one two NO. London with a - reverse back suplex? London brought him halfway up, then dropped him on his face. London off the ropes, kick to the ribs, standing shooting star press one two NO! (well he sure won't get hurt doing it that way, ha.) London with a corner whip, reversed, London kips up, Kazarian slips under him and sets up for the bridging electric chair suplex again, London breaks it and tries a bodyscissors rollup, Kazarian blocks and sits on top, one two three aw (4:21) Candice still isn't good. London can't believe it. "AAAAH! I got screwed again! We just got screwed again. I keep getting screwed! Well, I'm not going to get screwed anymore, because this isn't fair!" So is Paul London doing Matt Hardy doing Bret Hart? Your announcers, Steve and Josh, discuss.

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Nunzio (175 pounds, w/Vito) vs Jimmy Jacobs (170 pounds, already in the ring) in a non-title match - Sounds like Candice was only here for one match; Chimel's back at the microphone. In a amazing coincidence, about the same moment this match was airing, I was watching Jacobs be the mentally challenged half of the current ROH Tag Team Champions. No furry boots here, but wacky tights for sure. Ad reads. Romero [to Josh]: "Are you the American Gigolo?" Josh: "[ignores]" Josh makes fun of Jacobs' one legged pants. Lockup, Nunzio pushes Jacobs backs in the corner, and slaps him. Jacobs is ticked, rushes Nunzio and shoves him. Kick is caught and Nunzio takes him down, allowing him to slap Jacobs as many time as he wants. Jacobs covers up, which is a good idea, because the boy is getting killed. Nunzio goes to a front facelock, Jacobs gets out into a hammerlock. Nunzio escapes into with a back elbow. Nunzio gives him a forearm to the back of the head, and a kneedrop to the front of it. Nunzio happy with himself. Happy with pounding the back of Jacobs' head into the mat. Romero: "Some say [Nunzio] has connections to the mob!" I hope the mob kills Romero for saying that. Nunzio with a whip, reversed, Jacobs tries a dropkick but Nunzio has the ropes, and is pointing a finger to his head. Forearm to the back. Nunzio distracts Nick Patrick so Vito can get in a shot to the face. One two no. Nunzio with a spine kick. "I'm the champ!" Nunzio working over Jacobs with punches to the face and choking him over the ropes. Nunzio throws Jacobs out to Nunzio's feet, and distracts Nick again so Vito can get in another cheap shot. One two NO. Kneeling chinlock. Jacobs battling up. Off the ropes, Nunzio head down for no particular reason, Jacobs' kicks it. Jacobs right, right, off the ropes, crossbody, one two NO. Jacobs with a right hand. YELL. Right. Corner whip, reversed, Jacobs WOW crossbody meets dropkick. Nunzio covers one two NO - he pulls him up. Nunzio wants to add one more - Sicilian Slice. One two three. (3:29) Vito immediately in the ring - he'll handle putting the belt on the champ.

Up Next: Chapter 3. I can't wait for Chapter 11.

So, what, they brought in someone to be Eddie's lawyer and didn't check to see if she was free for the rest of the angle? "Are you kidding me! You people are a bunch of crazies!" Since we're still sorta building to Eddie finally winning a match, I don't think we're done at SummerSlam (4:30ish)

SummerSlam: Eddie vs Rey Guerrero for Dominic.
SummerSlam: Press Conference. "The more I bleed, the more I win!" Ha.
SummerSlam: "Remedy" by Seether

SmackDown! Live
08/14 - Owen Sound, ON [SD! Live]
08/15 - Peterborough, ON [SD! Live]
08/16 - Toronto, ON [SD!]
08/21 - Washington, DC [SummerSlam]
08/22 - Richmond, VA [SD! Live]
Back to back Monday shows? That's new.

WWE Body Slam of the Week, sponsored by Bod: Randy Orton vs Kamala.

SmackDown #1 Announcer Funaki (Japan, 185 pounds) vs Ken Anderson (197 pounds) -

Josh: "A lot of people think I'm the #1 Announcer."
Romero: "Give me your exact definition of 'a lot'."
Josh: "Well, your girlfriend is one."
Romero: "That's finance, by the way. Get it right."

Anderson gets second entrance? Anderson has no video and really generic music.

Romero: "Hey, Josh, it's Billy Idol's brother! Do you even know who Billy Idol is?"
Josh: "I have no idea, but 1977 called, they want you back!"

Anderson's reposed the microphone? "Silence! Obviously no one ever told you, that if you're going to do something, do it right the first time or don't bother doing it all. So why don't you just grab some aluminum and watch how this is done!" Grab some aluminum? Ken's gonna redo this himself. "Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. Weighing in first, at 185 pounds, from Tokyo, Japan, and he doesn't speak a lick of English but he's SmackDown's #1 Announcer, Ladies and Gentlemen, FUUUUUUUNAKI!" Funaki's confused - under the impression he's from some place besides Tokyo? weirded out by a time limit? - but otherwise goes along with it. "And now, without any further ado, I weight in at 242 pounds, from Green Bay, Wisconsin [boooooooooooo - Ken pauses] MISTER ANDERSON! AN DER SON!" Ken yells at Chimel, and tells them to ring the bell. Your ref is Jim. Lockup. Ken backs Funaki into the corner. Break, Anderson tries the cheap shot, Funaki ducks and hiptosses him. Josh: "There's only two things to do in Green Bay, drink beer and fight." And worship Farve. Romero: "There's a third thing when it's cold, but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that." Yea, Josh doesn't seem like a football guy. Armbar, Funaki backed into the corner, Anderson armdrags him, but Funaki rolls thru and hangs on. Anderson grabs onto Funaki by the hair to walk him into the ropes, whip, reversed, Funaki puts his head down too soon, and Anderson throws him into the post. Hard snap mare one two no. "HEY!" Hey to you too. Armbar. Cranking it. "YOU SUCK YOU SUCK" Shoulder to the shoulder. Ken a bit stunned by the chant. Shoulder to the shoulder. Asking Funaki if he likes it. One more time - and this item, Funaki slips under, inside cradle, one two no. Both up, and Ken hits him in the hurt left shoulder. Elbowlock thingy. Funaki trying to draw from the crowd. Funaki getting back up. Right. Right. Whip, reversed, Ken puts his head down too soon, Funaki kick catch enziguri. Funaki of the ropes, bulldog. Funaki pumped up. Ken slow up, staggered, and punched. Whip, dropkick, dropkick. Slam by Funaki! Funaki's going up. Funaki waiting for Ken - top rope cross body, Ken rolls thru, one two thr-no, Funaki's shoulder was off the mat because Ken accidentally pulled it up while cradling him. Funaki grabs Ken, Ken gets in a knee. Corner whip, charge in to Funaki's boot. Funaki going up again, but Ken's not as out of it this time. Ken stops Funaki on the way up, and grabs him. Ken loads Funaki up - second rope forward fireman's slam! One two three. (4:08) Ken's not happy with the post match announcement either. "And the winners of the match, Ladies and Gentlemen, Ladies and Gentlemen, MISTER ANDERSON! AND ER SON!"

Up Next: Batista and JBL.

WWE Rewind, presented by DB2: Tag Team Title defense.

Christian vs Batista (3:15)

Up Next: Hardcore Holly vs Steven Richards. Uh oh.

Torrie Wilson is your guest ring announcer. She's also not good.

Big Stevie Cool (bWo, Philadelphia, PA) vs Hardcore Holly (Mobile, Alabama, 240 pounds) - Wait, I take that back - she's horrible. Stevie's coming out to his own music, in the bWo gear but all by himself. He's also weightless! And he thinks this is his show? He's taking over! Your ref is Brian. Stevie trying to get Hardcore to clam down. Lockup. into the corner, break, no, Stevie chops Hardcore. That's not smart, but I guess he's gonna do it anyway. Stevie hides in the ropes. Lockup, Hardcore with a headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the roes, over, hiptoss blocked by Hardcore and Stevie is rammed into the corner. Josh: "Hardcore Holly one of my favorite superstars, and that's because I know he doesn't like you at all, Steve Romero."  Hardcore rips the bWo shirt apart to chop the heck out of Stevie. Chop, chop, Stevie walks from one corner to another, and Hardcore asks if they want more - yes. Stevie into another corner, and gets kicked there. Alabama Cruncher. Stevie's down in the corner and Brian tries to get Hardcore to back off, allowing Stevie to get a dropkick to the knee. Stevie stomping the knee. Leg set up over the ropes, and Stevie sits down on it. Kicks to the inside of the leg - I think there's a hidden clip in here as Stevie does an elbow drop to the inside of that left knee. Something was out of sync. Stevie working a leg grapevine. Hardcore can't get loose. Knee driven into the knee. Stevie waving to the fans, going for the spinning toe hold, and getting kicked off into to the corner. Both slow up, but Stevie trips up Hardcore. Stevie brings down the kneepad to stomp the knee more. Stevie poses. Elbow drop to the knee. Hardcore pushed in the corner, chest slap, knee to knock him down. Romero has said "Alabama Slammer" three times this match as a Hardcore Holly nickname - do you need a nickname when you're name is already one? Stevie arguing with Brian, then celebrating. Corner charge, Hardcore moves out of the way, and Stevie crotches himself in the corner. Both slow up. Hardcore back elbow, back elbow, clothesline, whip, backdrop looks messy, because his knee hurts. Whip, full nelson slam one two NO. Hardcore goes to pick up Stevie by the hair, but Stevie punches him in the bad knee. Stevie charges Hardcore, Hardcore scoops him up for the Slam, but Hardcore's stumbling because of the bad knee. Stevie gets the ropes to block, Hardcore manages to pull him loose but he's still stumbling around - ah, got him anyway. One two three. (5:49)  

That's it.