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This is What Happens When the Cruisers
Get TV Time on Thursday...

June 28, 2005

by The Cubs Fan
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com


TV PG V cc open - yes, you've got your Hassan instead of Carlito.
Booker T (Houston, TX, 256 pounds, w/Sharmell) vs Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds, w/red jacket) - your announcers are Romero and Josh. I do like the new font. So, if Kidman beats Booker, does he get in the match? This is not something I should be worrying about. Meanwhile, Josh is explaining the concept of 'props', but not "Billy's jacket 

is a colorful prop" way. Talk about title match on Thursday. Repeat till calm: I will not try to make sense of their screwed up titles until after the draft is over, I will not try to make sense of their screwed up titles until after the draft is over. Kidman in no hurry to wrestle, because he knows how this one is going. Lockup, Booker backs Kidman up in the corner and cranks him around there. Clean break? Sure. Kidman's not sure what to make of that. Circle. Lockup, no, Kidman with a kick, headlock, shot off, over, under, into a hiptoss, into an armdrag, into an armbar. Crowd fired up to see Booker. Up to their feet, armbar still on. Booker gives it a twist, Kidman rolls to a reversal, Booker turns into a reversal, kicks Kidman in the midsection, and pulls off a weird pumphandle armdrag sorta move. He holds on to the arm, trying to stretching it into a cross armbreaker, but Kidman's got his feet scissored on the ropes. Break, giving Booker a chance to turn to the crowd and Sharmell. Lockup, Hammerlock by Booker, Billy frees himself a back elbow. Right. Right. Whip, reversed, Booker's jumping side kick is ducked, Kidman's dropkick is not. One two no. Stomp. Stomp. Choke on the ropes. Kidman mocking the Five Time! Snap mare, chinlock. Booker rallying up, elbow, elbow, thrown down by his hair and the chinlock back on. After about ten seconds, Booker elbows up again, but gets thrown down by his hair again. Stomp. Forearm. Choke over the top rope. Whip, Booker back with the fiver arm. Clothesline, kick, suplex. Whip, jumping side kick connects this time. Booker teasing it. Is it time? Yes. Spinaroonie. Kidman back up, and stumbling towards Booker. Kick to the midsection, scissors kicked - avoided! Kidman kicks Booker in the midsection, springboard bulldog shoved off, Kidman runs into a kick, and this time the scissors kick connects one two three. (5:14) Booker and Sharmell overly pleased about a win on Velocity, but okay. No one says "Kurt Angle" this whole segment!

Tonight: Chris Benoit.

SmackDown! Live
06/26 - San Jose, CA [SD! Live]
06/27 - Anaheim, CA [SD! taping? - ah, it's an unlisted Super Show]
??/?? - Seoul, South Korea [RAW/SD! Supershow]
??/?? - Tokyo, Japan [RAW/SD! Supershow]
??/?? - Tokyo, Japan [RAW/SD! Supershow]

Hassan's debut on SD! (2:56)
SD!: Undertaker vs Booker T vs Big Show vs JBL vs Chris Benoit vs Muhammad Hassan for the SD! Championship in a Six Way Match
Note the conspicuous lack of a belt in this picture. Perhaps they'll get a certificate.

Earlier Today, Josh talked to Chris Benoit: "Unprecedented? Wrestlemania 20, stepping into ring with Shawn Michaels and Triple H in a triple threat match, walking away world champion, was unprecedented. This coming Thursday will be Historic! I'll be stepping in with five of the greatest stars on SmackDown! [Rey and Eddie got added to the match?] Josh, I've been there before, I've tasted the goal, I know what it's like to be champion, I've been to the top of the mountain! And I want to get there again. This coming Thursday, I'm going to lay it all on the line, and I'm going to bring it out. The blood, the sweat, the tears, the sacrifice! This coming Thursday, Chris Benoit will walk away the new SmackDown! Champion."

WWE Slam of the Week, presented by The Devil's Rejects: Orton nearly dies by pyro.

Rene Dupree (Paris, France, 263 pounds) vs Patrick Leizer (Phoenix, AZ, 230 pounds, already in the ring) - Your ref is Brian Hebner. Rene's really let his (now black) sideburns grow out, and now has completely ridiculous facial hair. Leizer shares not only the same hometown as Luther Reigns, but the same face. It's freaky. Josh and Romero wonder why Romero's not part of the Mexicool. "I've ridden a lawnmower before, I've done the raking gig." "Must not be cool!" Dupree screams in French for fun. Fun for whom, I can't say. "In case you people didn't understand, I - [YOU SUCK YOU SUCK] I don't suck, I'm the French Phenom, Baby!" Lockup, Rene with headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Tomorrow is Mark Jindrak's birthday! I hope he got this show off; I hope he gets every show from here on out off. Tuesday is Heidenreich's birthday. Not a good stretch of birthdays. Dupree with a headlock, shot off, shoulderblock for Leizer. Off the ropes, over, hiptoss by Leizer. Armbar, Dupree stops him with a series of knees, forearms to the back, and lots of stomps to the back. Turnbuckle smash. Choke on the ropes. Kick to the ribs. Chop. Chop. Corner whip, chop. Snap mare, kick to the spine. Fistdrop. One two no. Chinlock. USA USA USA USA. Patrick elbowing out. Off the ropes, into a Dupree spinebuster. DANCE DANCE THE WONDERFUL DANCE. Cobra clutch probably needs to be renamed, but it's good enough to win. (2:47)

Up Next: Chris Benoit. Ha, he's not big enough to main event this show.

Chris Benoit (Atlanta, GA, 229 pounds) vs Steve Grey Eyes (New Mexico, 260 pounds, already in the ring) - Your ref is Korderas. Steve has a home town, but I couldn't make it out. Circle. Lockup, Benoit backs the bigger man towards the corner, Steve turns it around just before they get there. Steve chops. Benoit chops back, and hard. Chop, chop, down he goes. Benoit with a kick to the midsection, whip, knockdown back elbow. Stop. Suplex. Chop. Listen to Josh no sell Romero's bad attempt at a joke. Chop. Right. Knee. Knee.  Steve gets Benoit in the corner again and is trying an eye rake this time. Forearm to the back, forearm to the back, chop, slam. Steve off the ropes, elbow drop, but Benoit moves out of the way. Benoit back up and kneeing Steve. Whip, reversed, short clothesline ducked, and Benoit gets the waistlock. German Suplex, German Suplex, German Suplex, German - nah, Crossface. (2:11) Grey Eyes was waving his arms to try and get free, and Chris decided to just grab 'em and end it. That sure didn't take much time. Lots of time for Benoit to stare at the crowd after the match.

FUNAKI! interviews his old pal, the Big Show.
Funaki: This is Funaki, SmackDown! #1 Announcer! And I'm here with the Big Show! Hi, Big Show, how are you?
Show: I'm good, Funaki, how are you?
Funaki: I'm fine, thank you. So, ah, Big Show, I want to ask you something: what do you think about the six way match for the SmackDown! championship, this Thursday?
Show: I'm glad you brought that up, because I'm excited about that. This is the first time for SmackDown! to make history, we have a new SmackDown championship, we have six - five, excuse me, five of the greatest SmackDown! superstars, and one new guy who thinks he's hot stuff and is going to get his, believe me, Muhammad Hassan, he's on me. But I'm talking about Booker T, Chris Benoit, Undertaker, JBL, and the Big Show. It's going to be impactful, it's going to be high energy, and whoever walks away the winner after eliminating all the other SmackDown! superstars, whoever walks away, that person will be the new SmackDown! Champion. Who do you think is going to be the new SmackDown! champion?
Funaki: Big Show?
Show: That's what you're SmackDown! #1 Announcer, you're the man.
Funaki: Thank you Big Show. This is Funaki, reporting.

Eddie vs Rey (5:52)
Up Next: Orlando Jordan vs Nunzio

WWE Rewind, presented by Skittiles Bubble Gum: Juvi, Psi and Crazy are taking over.

United States Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 250 pounds) vs Nunzio (Queens, NY, 175 pounds) in a non-title match - Hey, someone got his hometown back. Must be because Jason Roberts is announcing. Is this the resolution to the ONS lead up angle? Does anyone on this show besides Nunzio remember ONS? Josh wishes Romero a happy viente y cinco de junio. Lockup. Nunzio gets shoved down. Circle. Lockup, hammerlock, then trips Nunzio up. Orlando can't get a good hold on, so he just holds Nunzio down and mockingly pulls his arm towards the ropes. Nunzio gets to the ropes, but OJ takes his time letting go. Face to face, Nunzio talking and getting shoved down. OJ signals that he's got the belt, and Nunzio slaps him in the face. The chase is on! Out, in, Nunzio with a drop toe hold, OJ fails to fall down, awkward pause, and OJ tries an elbow drop, as Nunzio moves out of the way. Nunzio dropkick, horrible armdrag, better hiptoss. OJ is discombobulated on multiple levels, and rolls out to get get settled. Nunzio dives on him, but Nunzio catches him - fallaway slam on the floor! Nunzio thrown back in, kick to the ribs. Choke around the ropes. Forearms to the chest. Romero is petitioning for Mexicool membership. ECW match. Whip, OJ bearhug. OJ spelling JO. Back to Nunzio, but Nunzio grabs OJ's hair and yanks. OJ breaks free, but gets cradled up for one. OJ stops that with a side backbreaker. Back to the bearhug. Nunzio eventually uses a Mongolian Chop to get himself free. OJ with a kick to the midsection, whip, misses on the clothesline, and takes a spinning headscissors. Nunzio with another dropkick to the head one two no. Punches to the head. Turnbuckle smash. Turnbuckle smash. Corner whip, reversed, OJ runs into a knee, Nunzio to the middle rope quick, Sicilian Slice! One two no. Nunzio sunset flip, but OJ blocks it, and picks him up. Shot to the midsection, and "The Greatest Move Ever" is apparently sticking as a name for OJ's finisher, eh. One two three (4:33) So, Nunzio loses to everyone. We've learned so much this week.

That's it. 


SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bonding Exercises
RAW RECAP: The New Guy Blows It
PPV RECAP: WWE Night of Champions 2012
RAW RECAP: The Show Must Go On
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Boot Gets the Boot
RAW RECAP: Heyman Lands an Expansion Franchise
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Losing is the new Winning
RAW RECAP: Say My Name
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Deja Vu All Over Again
RAW RECAP: Dignity Before Gold?
PPV RECAP: SummerSlam 2012
RAW RECAP: Bigger IS Better
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hitting with Two Strikes
RAW RECAP: Heel, or Tweener?
RAW RECAP: CM Punk is Not a Fan of Dwayne
SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Returnening
RAW RECAP: Countdown to 1000
PPV RECAP: WWE Money in the Bank 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Friday Night ZackDown
RAW RECAP: Closure's a Bitch
RAW RECAP: Crazy Gets What Crazy Wants
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Five Surprising MitB Deposits
RAW RECAP: Weeeellll, It's a Big MitB
RAW RECAP: Johnny B. Gone
PPV RECAP: WWE No Way Out 2012
RAW RECAP: Crazy Go Nuts
RAW RECAP: Be a Star, My Ass
RAW RECAP: You Can't See Him
RAW RECAP: Big Johnny Still in Charge
PPV RECAP: WWE Over the Limit 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: One Gullible Fella
RAW RECAP: Anvil, or Red Herring?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Everybody Hates Berto
RAW RECAP: Look Who's Back
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Care to go Best of Five?
RAW RECAP: An Ace Up His Sleeve
PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Sh-Sh-Sheamus and the nOObs
RAW RECAP: Edge, the Motivational Speaker?
SMACKDOWN RECAP: AJ is Angry, Jilted
RAW RECAP: Maybe Cena DOES Suck?
RAW RECAP: Brock's a Jerk
SMACKDOWN RECAP: Back with a Bang
RAW RECAP: Yes! Yes! Yes!
PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 28




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