Intro, Guest Rundown, Recaps: Only one guest this week, Rob Van Dam specifically. Todd recaps Royal Rumble, and in fact says that Rey Mysterio broke a record for being in the Rumble the longest ever. That… doesn’t smell right.

RAW recap, including an overly long chat about the ending, although he drops a neat little storyline tidbit we couldn’t get on Monday: Edge and Lita, for the first time in seven months, left the arena separately. Hmm… I smell a breakup!

A couple callers speak, nothing worth repeating. SmackDown! recap then, followed by another caller who’s basically worthless. I’m so bored, I hop to another part of the site to figure out whether I want to try out the WWE Fantasy game… I still need to play the GM Mode of WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2006.

Anyway, sorry for the digression…

RVD, The Whole Fucking Segment: RVD calls in, opens by chatting in generalities about his return to the Rumble, nothing interesting. Todd brings up that RVD was eliminated by Rey, “who won by the way,” and RVD breaks character for a moment when he says that seeing a little guy win the Rumble is definitely new, and that it wouldn’t have happened a decade ago when larger wrestlers were getting the largest pushes. I call minor bullshit, because it wasn’t like Steve Austin and Bret Hart were giants, but they were the ones doing most of the work around the time. I get the point though.

RVD talks about Carlito and cuts a general, laid-back promo against him. I just noticed that RVD doesn’t really sound tired, just that he sounds like he’d prefer to do other things than this interview right now.

Injury talk, [words], his routine for getting back in shape, [words], he feels great now, [words], the injury had no long-term side-effects, [words]. Caller time!

Caller 1: RVD’s dream opponent for Wrestlemania 22? Sabu, even though it won’t happen. Heh.

Caller 2: Is One Night Stand coming back for 2006? Maybe, but probably.

Caller 3: Will the Hardcore Title come back? RVD wants it to come back.

No more callers for now. RVD issues some comments about Paul Heyman, saying that Heyman has no problem lying to face, but it was usually for good intentions. He says that Heyman is his favorite agent to work with even now, but “it’s not worth it for me to go to Louisville and OVW right now.” Huh…

Todd asks the next question in a way that is a nod to all us smarks: he says that it seems with some wrestlers, the fans don’t like them “no matter how much they’re shoved down our throats” [verbatim], and asks what RVD’s key is to maintaining his popularity. RVD answers that it’s mostly because he’s genuine, in interviews and the ring and everywhere.

Caller 4: Will you be at Saturday Night Main Event? RVD is not officially booked there yet, but he plans on being there.

Caller 5: Worthless.

Todd asks RVD about the photo shoot for RAW magazine. I already don’t care about diva photo shoots, so what makes you think I’d care about an RVD photo shoot?

Todd wants to play Rapid Fire/Word Association, and I’m starting a new rule from this episode on: no more recapping Rapid Fire/Word Association. It’s lame, and nobody cares.

That’s it… Todd hypes RVD merchandise, and RVD is gone.

Ending Crap: You know the drill.

Trivia Question: How long did RVD hold the ECW Television Title?

Caller 1: Will MNM keep the SmackDown! Tag Titles? Todd dodges.

Caller 2: 23 months. Correct! Caller wins the RVD DVD.

Caller 3: Worthless.

Caller 4: When is Maria coming to Byte This! again, and who’s a better champion between John Cena and Edge? Hopefully soon on Maria, and Edge is a better champion because he has better-quality matches. WOW, I’m a little surprised a WWE employee would say that.

We’re done.

Closing Comments: Meh. RVD got interesting toward the end, but for the most part was pretty drab. Check it out if you’re an RVD fan; otherwise, take a pass on it.