Sorry, folks, can’t think of anything to say here to get you down past the ad box. I could review Kick-Ass (which I saw twice last week) but I would probably not say anything you haven’t read in a dozen other reviews. I will just say that the movie indeed lives up to it’s name.

Anyway, lets get to the action: It’s time to Cross The Line!

Last week, RVD won the title. What’s up for this week?

Rob Van Dam comes out, soaks up an RVD chant for a second, and tells “Hulkie” that he can now call him “Mr. TNA, *Points. To. Self.*” He thanks Dixie and Hogan for letting RVD just be RVD. After another RVD chant, he says that a lot of people are not going to get the connection that he and Hogan have. The crowd goes silent in a giant shared, “huh?”, and he then goes on to say that A lot of people don’t understand the connection he has with mother earths finest (gesturing broadly to the marijuana leaves on his T-shirt that you can buy on TNAshopzone.com), and that it takes a lot of work to strike the perfect balance to be such a laid back, cool dude, and yet kick so much ass. RVD says that he vows to all of us to be the best world champion TNA has ever seen…

And you can hit AJ’s music. AJ Styles comes down with Ric Flair. AJ tries to talk, but he’s drowned out by an “Ex-World Champ!” chant. He calls RVD a hippie from southern California, apparently not having listened to the times that RVD has been introduced from Battle Creek. AJ goes on to scoff at the insinuation that RVD is a world champion level athlete, says the he kicked RVD’s ass last week, that RVD got lucky, and that RVD probably greased up the ropes because he knows AJ can fly. He says that it’s a travesty that he’s stuck in a tag match tonight instead of getting his rematch, but RVD will get what’s coming to him soon enough. Flair then grabs the mic, gets in Hogans face, rants about the Hall of Fame ring, and says that tonight, he’ll be taking the ring off Abyss’ finger.

Backstage, The Beautiful People are all nonplussed about the fact that Madison has to defend her newly won knockouts title against both Angelina and Tara tonight. Velvet says that TNA management couldn’t wait to screw them over as soon as they won the titles. Lacey says, “They can’t screw us!” Velvet: “Over! Screw us over!” Lacey: “Yeah, that too.” Madison says that she’ll just let Tara and Angelina kill each other, and she’ll just mop up the remains.

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Angelina Love Vs. Tara Vs. Madison Rayne© (W/ Lacey and Velvet) for the TNA Knockouts Championship.

After TBP do their standard faptastic ring enterance, Slick Johnson heads any outside interference off at the pass by ejecting Lacey and Velvet outright. Bell rings, Madison tries to bail, but eats a clothesline from Angelina. Match goes on the pretty standard pattern of Angelina and Tara beat on each other, Madison tries to steal a pin, gets beat down for her troubles, repeat. Madison is able to get a big boot to send Tara out of the ring, and that sends us to

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Back, and Angelina is controlling Madison, with Tara still selling the boot upside the head. Angelina with a bulldog. Madison tries to escape, but gets dragged in for a front slam. Cover gets two. Tara in to throw both girls out and be generally crazy. Madison comes in and goes for a school girl, but Tara kicks out, and hits a snap suplex and rolls through into a guillotine choke. Before Madison can tap out, Angelina in to clubberize everyone, hits a firemans carry into a spinning sidewalk slam. Cover gets two. As she picks Tara up to do something else, Madison blasts Angelina from behind, causing a noggin knocker that sends Tara out of the ring and grabs another schoolgirl rollup and this time gets the pin. She dives out of the ring and laughs and gloats as she heads up the ramp with her title.

Angelina can’t believe it, but she’s suddenly got bigger problems as Tara has attacked her from behind and they’re brawlerizing all around the ring. Taz resists mightily the urge to scream “Catfiiiiiiiiiiight!” security guys run out and actually take a few shots of their own from the girls. Angelina continues her assault until Tara begs off, saying she’s sorry. Angelina loses heart, but it’s a Trap! Tara blasts her from behind and sends her out of the ring. As Tara stands tall, we go to

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The Reject Shannon Moore vs. Kazarian© (X-Division title match.)

Shannon has the Book of Dilligaf with him. Trading hip tosses and bodyslams to start, ending in a faceoff. Kaz with a headlock, sends Shannon off the ropes, Shannon gets a head scissors for two. They trade spots for a bit. Shannon goes for a neckbreaker, but Kaz shoves him off into the referee, stunning him. Fight in the corner ends with Shannon on the top rope. Here comes Matt Morgan to shove Shannon off the top rope and then follow up with the Carbon Footprint. Shannon rolled back in, Kaz hits the Kaz-driver, and cover is perfunctory.

As Kaz gets his arm raised, here comes Samoa Joe. Joe beelines right into the ring, and Kaz is confused until Joe kicks him in the face. Stomps in the corner, pick Kaz up and hit the muscle buster, and Joe leaves Kaz lying in the ring. He collects his towel and leaves without a word.

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Back, and Abyss is talking about the Ring! He says that he knows the ring doesn’t give him powers, but he does acknowledge that the ring symbolizes Hogan’s confidence in him, so that makes him confident, etc. He asks Ric Whatchogonnado when Abyss takes his ring from you.

Backstage, and Matt Morgan has Jessie Neil cornered, and is asking him if he wants to be one of “our” tag team partners. Jessie says that he remembers what Matt did to Amazing Red two weeks ago, and no way. Matt stops him walking off, and “We” understand Matt’s trepidation, But that wont happen between “us” and Jessie. Matt knows that Jessie is reluctant to go up against Team 3-D because he’s their buddy and they trained him and all, and it’s that loyalty and dedication that “we” admire. Jessie has a chance at greatness, Matt tells him to think about it, and to think with his heart.

AJ Styles and Sting Vs. Jeff Jarrett and Jeff Hardy (No-Holds barred, anything goes)

Both teams get in the ring, and everyone brawlerizes around. Jarrett pairs off with Sting, Hardy pairs off with AJ. Both pairs brawl all over the arena, doing all the basic garbage stuff. They make their way back to the ring and Sting and Jarrett end up in the ring. At one point, Jarrett tags Hardy, the ref doesn’t see it, and suddenly, in a no-holds barred, no DQ match, the ref prevents Hardy from coming in because he didn’t see the tag? Huh? Jarrett and Sting brawl for a bit longer, and they do the “didn’t see the tag” spot AGAIN! WTF? So after this sudden spurt of rule following, they decide to pair off and brawl out into the arena again. Hardy gets the advantage over AJ and sets him up for an EXTREMELY STUPID attempt at a swanton, but up in the rafters, Sting has grabbed a baseball bat, punks Jarrett out, and gets the pinfall for his team first.

Backstage, Jessie Neil is asking Team 3-D for their blessing to go and be Matt’s partner. They ask if he actually paid attention to the thing with Amazing Red two weeks ago. Jessie says he’ll be ready for Matt if he want’s to go that way, but right now, he wants Team 3-D’s blessing to go and become Tag Team Champion for the first time, not the 23^rd time. They ask how exactly he plans on doing that. He says by beating them. They say that it took a huge set for Jessie to say that, and they tell him to go ahead, but be warned, they are going to bring it for Jessie harder than they have brought it for anyone else. Jessie says that’s cool, he wouldn’t expect anything less. Team 3-D say they’ve got something to take care of right quick, and we go to

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The Pope, D’angelo Dinero is out to wordify. He recaps AJ’s actions from Lockdown, and says that even though AJ used the pen on him, there are no excuses in the church of the Pope. However, in the church of the Pope, they also have a belief in an eye for an eye. He says that he may get knocked down, but he’ll get right back up.

And now, here comes Mr. Anderson. He applauds Pope on his way to the ring, gets in, and calls for his mic. “Wow! Brother, I got it! I’m gonna start calling you The Kool-Aid man!” And he doesn’t mean like the big red guy, he means like Jim Jones. The audience laughs at this, and he calls all of them kool-aid drinkers, and proceeds to call about 20 different audience members 20 different synonyms for “gullible.” He tells us that he hurt Kurt angle and now Kurt is home licking his wounds. He asks if Pope is going to lick his wounds, go cry to his mommy, be a big chicken… Pope, “Will you get to your point or just shut up?” Anderson then long-story-shorts it and asks if Pope is going to go cry, of he’s going to man up and take Mr. Anderson on at Sacrifice. He makes fun of Popes injuries some more, and Pope says that even though his arm is in a sling, his pimp hand is still strong, and then backhands Anderson across the face. Pope goes in to kick him, but Anderson is up, dragging Pope down, and digging a thumb into Pope’s eye. Security runs down to break things up, and Anderson takes his leave.

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Team 3-D Vs. Matt Morgan© and Jessie Neil (not©) (TNA Tag Team Championship)

Team 3-D’s music is playing, but they aren’t coming out. Backstage, and the camera finds Team 3-D talking trash over a broken table. The camera runs up to see 6-Pac has been put through the table and is bleeding profusely from the cranium. Team 3-D warn him to stay home when he comes out of his coma, is informed that they are up, and they make their way out to the ring.

Match starts with Jessie against Devon. Devon overpowers him for a few seconds, tags in Bubba, and he’s in the middle of a headlock when The Band’s music starts. Nash and Hall come out, Nash holding his hand out, covered in 6-Pac’s blood. Team 3-D abandon the match and go to brawl. Jessie goes to help, and Matt comes up behind and grabs Jessie, drags him back to the ring, and powerbombs him.

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Back and Team 3-D is in the ring with Jessie, and Jessie is screaming for Matt to get his ass back down to the ring so he can kick it. The crowd is very solidly behind this idea, chanting Jessie’s name. Backstage, Christy Hemme finds Matt and asks him what he’s going to do about Jessie’s challenge. Matt says “Jessie who?” and says that he’s already forgotten about that kid, “We” are still the tag team champions, and “We” are now off the clock. Matt goes to take his leave, and is stopped by Hogan. Hogan tells Matt he has two choices: “Either go back to the ring and deal with Jessie, or stay back here and deal with me!” Matt begs off, turns around, and goes back through the curtain. Jessie meets him halfway up the ramp and gets the better of a beatdown, dragging Matt back to the ring. Jessie goes to grab a title with intentions of using it on Matt in some nefarious manner, but Matt cuts him off with a low blow. Matt gets up, gives Jessie a slam for good measure, then picks up the title and holds it over his head.

In his office, Eric Bischoff (W/ Miss Tessmacher) has some exciting news for us. He’s been working on this Top 10 ranking for months now, and it’s just about to be revealed. He says we can go to TNA.com to cast our vote to help decide who gets to be the #1 contender for the title. He tells us that like Chicago, we can vote early, and vote often. This brings Jay Lethal in and he says he’s got some votes for us! First Vote: Andre! Next up, Koko B. Ware! Red Rooster! The Wild Samoans!

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Back, and we’ve got Orlando Jordan in a multi colored feathered set of trunks talking about how his art is misunderstood. He’s got an appreciation for great works of art, and says that the greatest work of art in TNA is The Freak, Rob Terry. He admires how Rob has destroyed everyone he’s come up against, and next week, on the first episode of The O-Zone, Rob Terry will be his guest, and it will be delicious.

Interview segment: Ric Flair compares himself to Doc Holliday, saying that there’s no rules about putting your boots back on when you’re retired, and he’s more than happy to show some young punk who the best, and that’s the bottom line and he’s been saying that long before Stone Cold.

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The camera has found Nash and Scott Hall, and some idiot asks them what’s next. This pisses Nash off, that what’s next is that they are going to see to their friend. The camera then asks what they think about the fact they are a man down. Scott turns around and tells the camera to get out of here before He and Nash put THEM in the hospital. Nash is set off, tho, and he says that yeah, they’re a man down, and you know what, they’ll go get someone to help take care of 3-D.

Ric Flair vs. The Monster Abyss (Hall of Fame ring possession match)

They lock up, and Abyss throws Flair across the ring. Flair gets back up and fires away with the punches. Flair tries to whip Abyss across the ring, but Abyss holds on, and the brawl is on. They brawl all around the ring, Flair gets busted open, tries to go up to the top rope, that fails, and we settle into a big Abyss beatdown. Abyss has Ric in the corner, Earl Hebner is trying to separate them, and Ric mulekicks, catching both of them. As both men go down, Ric reaches into the trunks and pulls out a set of brass knucks. Abyss gets back up to his feet and Ric blasts him across the head with the knucks. Abyss no-sells it, and Ric drops to his knees. Abyss goes in and Ric punches him right in the nuts. Abyss goes down, Ric covers, and Earl Hebner has recovered enough to count the three. Ric gets up, and starts celebrating, sticking the knucks under his arm. Earl pulls himself together enough to go and raise Rics arm, and the knucks fall out. Earl sees this, retrieves them, Ric tries shoving him around, he shoves back, and restarts the match. One black hole slam later, and Abyss is your winner.

Hogan comes down to the ring, and Ric tries to bail. Abyss catches him, stands on Rics head, and Hogan pulls the ring off Rics finger. Hogan shows it off on his own hand for a second, and then grabs and mic, informing Ric that he knows “Just the person” to present this ring to next week. Ricc cries “no!”, Hogan and Abyss celebrate in the ring, fade out, Spike logo, and we are out of here.

Ok, decent show, but didn’t really give me the impression that they were trying too hard. * shrugs*

See ya next week!