I play a foul mouthed cook “talking about pussy” with my friend at the beginning of the film, and the director has said that he wants me and my friend’s characters back for the second movie, so I got that to look forward to.
 
Also, next month, we’re supposed to start shooting on a small feature where I’m the lead (I’ll be playing a drifter, and you know I’ll be channeling Roddy Piper from They Live) and I’m still waiting on the word back from my OTHER director friend as to when we start filming the remake of “Plan 9 From Outer Space.” (Check the teaser trailer that we shot for it here. Blink and you’ll miss me at the 1 minute, 49 second mark as the “Hat wearing Hobo” getting eaten by zombies. Also, if you click on the “related videos”, I play the Red Juggernaut in the Juggernaut vid.) Yup, things are looking up for Big Danny T! Expect Creightonville to be out on video this coming September (Don’t worry, I’ll let everyone know where you’ll be able to get it.)

Ok, Enough about me, let’s talk about wrasslin! Unless I miss my guess, it’s time to Cross The Line!

Hmm, looks like TNA has already given up on the pregame show concept? Nothing but UFC as far as the eye could see…

Apparently, last night, there was a PPV. Didn’t catch it. Yeah, I know, I’m a terrible recapper.

First out, here comes AJ Styles looking good after he stabbed Pope in the face last night to retain the title. He first has to tell us that Ric Flair is still tired from the victory party last night, and he’ll be here later. He says that he just proved that he’s the best wrestler in the world by beating Pope last night, and doing it all by his lonesome. He says it doesn’t matter where they do it, AJ is the best there is in the world. He says that Bandwagon jumpers can just keep dreaming, because the AJ Express ain’t slowing down anytime soon.

This brings Rob Van Dam out. Look out! He’s got a mic!

He soaks up an RVD chant, and says that the confused look on AJ’s face is because this is the first time AJ has ever heard a crowd reaction (Zing!) He says that AJ might have been the best wrestler in TNA at some previous time, but times have changed. He says that while AJ is a very good wrestler, RVD has never been as impressed with AJ as other people have, and definitely not as impressed with AJ as AJ is. He says that because TNA is where all the wrestlers want to be, that’s can’t be good for AJ. AJ can’t keep the top spot for long, especially when you’ve got wrestlers like * Points. To. Self *

This brings out Jeff Hardy, who apparently did something extremely stupid last night at the PPV. Jeff acknowledges that AJ has done a lot, but Jeff is here to do a lot more, and that the movement has begun! Jeff says he’s here in TNA to complete his collection of World championships.

And here comes Hogan! He says that he’s proud of RVD and Jeff, and that this is what TNA is about. He gives props to AJ, but says that it’s not just about holding the title; it’s about dumbbell curls, pretty girls, and big fat paychecks. Hogan rambles on about how awesome it is to be champion, but the champ has a target on his back 24 hours a day. The best wrestlers in the world are after his title, and tonight, we’re going to find out who is the #1 contender. He asks if RVD and Jeff are ready to tear it down tonight, put their friendship aside, and see just who is the best, and whoever gets the win tonight; they get to face AJ for the title. AJ calls bullshit at this, and tells Hogan that he’s not going to be ready by Sacrifice, So he ain’t gonna defend the title at Sacrifice, so there! (He stops short of saying “Neener Neener” and sticking his tongue out at Hogan.) Hogan says, “Who said anything about Sacrifice?” and lets us know that the winner of Jeff Vs. RVD will face AJ TONIGHT! Oh yeah, and Ric Flair is banned from ringside. AJ goes berserk, play Hogans music…

And Backstage, Ric Flair has finally arrived. The Cameraman tells Flair what Hogans done, Flair is all “Oh HELL naw!” and he shoves the cameraman aside and goes off in search of

(ADS)

Back, and after Taz And Tenay hype the RVD/Hardy match for later, we head to the ring where

The Beautiful People Vs. ODB and Daffney for the Knockouts tag championship.

The announcer announces that Lacey is accompanying, but Madison is the one in a skirt and Lacey has her gear on. Lacey and Daffney start, and TBP controls to start. Velvet tags in and out, and Lacey does a nice little backflip-into-an-Elbow drop move. Tag to Velvet again, and Daffney gets a knee to the gut. Tag to ODB who cleans house. ODB has Velvet pinned after a fall away slam, but Madison distracts the referee, letting Lacey go around and spray ODB in the face with the hairspray. Velvet gets a schoolgirl, and after a bit of delay, the ref comes over, 1-2-3, and TBP retains.

Backstage, and Jeremy Borash leads a camera to AJ’s dressing room where we peek in and see AJ is ranting about Hogans actions earlier. Ric says it ain’t right, and he’s going to make it good. This brings Jeremy in to ask what Ric means, and Ric says that Team Flair is going to demand a rematch with Team Hogan tonight, and Hogan has 5 minutes, or Team Flair will declare victory by forfeit. He shoves Jeremy out the door, and slams it after him.

(ADS)

Back, and Jeff Jarrett and TheMonsterAbyss are both in the ring to answer Flairs demand. Abyss says he heard what Ric said, and well, tough shit, cause last night Team Hogan beat Team Flairs ass, and that’s that. If RVD and Jeff weren’t already wrestling, Abyss says that Team Flair would have no problem destroying Team Flair again.

Here’s Flair to bring his eloquent rebuttal, along with the rest of Team Flair. “First words: Kiss my ass! Screw all of you guys, Team Flair is going to beat all of your asses.” He sends Team Flair down to the ring, and they overpower Abyss and Jarrett. This brings TheFreakRobTerry down to make the save. He cleans house, tossing Beer Money, pressing Desmond Wolfe up (barely), and slamming him on Sting, and then follows up with a big boot for Sting (and kind of trips over himself while doing it.) As the heels regroup, Eric Bischoff makes his presence known. He says that Flair just didn’t learn his lesson last night, So Eric is more than happy to have Team Flair get their ass beat again. But, this isn’t going to be a handicap match. Abyss, Jarrett, and Terry will have themselves a partner of Erics choosing. Play Erics music, lets watch Ric go berserk some more, and we’re out for

(Ads)

Backstage, Shannon Moore is reading the Book of Dilligaf, and Matt Morgan comes up and says that “We” still need a tag team partner. Shannon asks if Matt is counting his ego as a second person. Matt takes the jab in stride, and says that Shannon would look great with one of the tag belts around his waist to go with his tats… and makeup… and hair gel… Anyway, it’s not like Shannon is doing anything better next week. Shannon says au contraire, and informs Matt that he’ll be getting ready for his X-Division title shot. As for Matt, he can go stuff it. Matt doesn’t take this quite as well, and as the camera zooms in, he says, “Big mistake, Shannon.”

Elsewhere, Hogan is happy with Eric’s shenanigans from last night. Eric says that it takes a con man to beat a con man, and Flair played right into his plans. Hogan asks about Eric’s new ranking system for the world title, and Eric calls over Miss Tessmacher, and asks her to get the files. She asks if it’s the stuff in the brown thing or the green thing. Eric says the green thing, and she trips on her way. Hopefully she’ll do what Eric asked of her before she has to go to her next shoot for Naughty America. Hogan makes a joke about his thing, Eric says she gives great dictation, and Hogan and the rest of the country share a groan as we go to

(ADS)

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy, (Winner faces AJ styles later tonight.)

They tussle for a minute, ending with a failed attempt at Twist of Fate. Time for commercials.

Back, and we rejoin the action just as Hardy is hung over the guardrail and RVD hits the jumping spin leg drop. During the commercials, Hardy was in control for most of it. Back in the ring, RVD sets Jeff up and hits the slingshot leg drop. RVD is busted open at this point. RVD up top, hits a flying cross body, but that only gets two. Both men up, exchange of punches, and Hardy gets the better of it. Hardy sent to the corner, RVD goes for the monkey flip, but Jeff catches him with a clothesline. Cover gets two. Jeff goes up top, but RVD catches him, crotches him on the top rope, then hits a Boot To The Head (Yaa! Yaa!) RVD up, hits the flying leg kick. Hardy rolls out, RVD recovers him, hit’s a Rolling Thu… Splash, that gets two. Hardy dragged to the corner, split legged moonsault, and that only gets two. RVD goes for a suplex, Hardy reverses and hits a front suplex of his own. Hardy up top, RVD catches him up there with a spin kick. RVD goes up to try for a superplex, but Hardy kicks him off. Hardy goes for the Swanton, but RVD rolls out of the way. RVD runs over to the corner, Leaps up to the top, 5-Star frog splash, and that’s it, RVD will face AJ styles later tonight.

(ADS)

Backstage, Christy Hemme has RVD and Jeff Hardy. They both say that this changes nothing, that they are still best buds. Christy sends them to a video highlight package of the match, and they proceed to provide the worst color commentary ever. “Oh man, that hurt!” was about as profound as they could get. Afterwards, RVD says that now, it’s time to concentrate on AJ, and Jeff says that in RVD brings the same game he brought against Jeff, then AJ will be a pushover.

In the locker room, Abyss is pumping up Jeff and Rob for their match. Abyss says that last night was about winning, and tonight is about annihilation. He doesn’t know who their 4^th partner is, but he trusts Eric and Hogan, and is sure it’ll be a bombshell. Rob says something about stepping up to the game, and Jarrett says it’s time to find out who the bombshell is.

Team Flair Vs. Team Hogan (Delayed entry match, First two people wrestle for 5 minutes, then opponents enter at 2 minute intervals, where it becomes tag team rules, No pinfall until all 8 competitors are in the ring.)

To start us off, Sting and Jeff Jarrett will go up against Commercials.

(ADS)

Back, and Sting and Jarrett couldn’t wait for the opening bell. As they brawl around the impact zone, Sting gets the better of Jeff by stealing a steel chair from a stunt granny and unloading on Jeff with it. Brawling continues back and forth, making copious use of one of the crowd dividing walls as a weapon. Back in the ring, and Sting has taken control. Stinger splash misses, and Jeff comes back and unloads with tihe right hands, finally knocking Sting down with the clothesline. Both men down as we get the first countdown.

Desmond Wolfe is out next, and he starts by controlling Jeff. Jeff blocks a suplex and controls until Desmond gives Jeff the Greco Roman eyepoke. Desmond goes for the Tower of London, but Jeff blocks and turns it into a back drop just in time for…

Rob Terry to come to the ring. Jeff tags him in, and He uses his power to keep Desmond down. As his slamming away, Orlando Jordan comes out to take in the festivities from the ramp. Terry is ignoring him and continues to destroy Desmond as we go to

(ADS)

Back, and Robert Roode and Abyss have come to the ring during the commercials, and Rood is getting choke slammed. Roode manhandled all over the place. After a big body drop, the clock counts down to

James Storm finishing off all of Team Flair. James runs down, smashes Abyss in the head, allowing Roode to crawl over and get the tag. Abyss tags Jeff in, All of team flair jump in the ring and jump Jarrett. Jarrett is able to fight back, and gets a double clothesline to put everyone down just in time for the last member of Team Hogan…

Samoa Joe! Joe determinedly stomps to the ring. Jeff is hesitant to tag him in, but Joe tags himself in and cleans house. One cool spot: Roode runs full tilt at Joe, only to get stopped dead and urinage’d out of his boots. Joe covers Desmond after a samoan drop. Bell rings, and Joe exits just as fast as he came in, leaving the rest of Team Hogan to go, “WTF?” After Joe is gone, Flair grabs a mic, but before he can say anything…

(ADS)

Back, and we have a technical snafu that has the crowd noise over blackness. The camera comes up, and we are shown that during the commercials, Ric challenged Abyss to a match next week, winner takes both Hall of Fame rings.

Rob Van Dam Vs. AJ Styles for the World heavyweight championship. (Ric Flair is banned from Ringside.)

As AJ removes his robe, he throws it in RVD’s face and attacks him. RVD on his back and AJ raining down the blows. AJ throws RVD out of the ring, and AJ hits the no hands quebrada! RVD is down, AJ is up, and we gotta go to

(ADS)

Back, and AJ has total control over RVD. RVD backflips over AJ and they do a dodge sequence that ends with RVD tripping over AJ and AJ recovering the spot by nailing a dropkick. Cover gets 2. RVD into the corner, AJ with the knife-edge chops. RVD fights his way out of the corner, gets a couple kicks. But AJ catches the third and hits the dragon screw leg whip. Both men up, AJ tries to ram RVD’s head in the corner, RVD blocks and “grazes” AJ with a Boot to the Head (Yaa! Yaa!). AJ selling it, tho, and RVD follows up with a springboard jump kick that connects solid. Both men back up, Punches traded, AJ in the corner, and RVD hits a monkey flip that sends him ¾ of the way across the ring! Rolling thunder, but that gets two. RVD dragging AJ up and looking to do something, but AJ does the double leg takedown and locks in the figure four. RVD struggles and makes it to the ropes. AJ breaks the hold, and drags RVD back to the center of the ring. RVD catches AJ as he goes for another figure 4, gets a small package that only gets 2. AJ up and kicking RVD in the gut, and signals for the Styles Clash. RVD blocks it and backdrops AJ out of the ring. AJ landed on the apron tho, and as RVD staggers around, AJ goes for the springboard hurricanrana, but RVD catches him and turns it into a powerbomb. Lightning fast, RVD is up to the top rope, 5-star frog splash.

1-2-3!

Your winner and NEW world heavyweight champion: Rob Van Dam!

Crowd goes berserk! As RVD’s music plays, confetti starts raining down on the ring, at one point obscuring the visual. Once it lightens up, Jeff Hardy comes down and congratulates RVD. Hogan is out next and he leads Dixie Carter to the ring to congratulate the new champ. The rest of Team Hogan follows them out, and following them out, here comes Team 3-D to hoist RVD on their shoulders. As everyone celebrates in the ring, AJ still can’t believe it on the outside of the ring. As RVD is paraded around on Team 3-D’s shoulders, we fade out to the Spike logo, and we are outta here.

Ok, now THAT was a pretty awesome show. Where last weeks go home show had it’s short steps and mildly retarded points, This weeks show just clicked on all cylinders and went above and beyond the needs of “Free TV.” Putting the title on RVD came out of nowhere, really, and I think was a pretty awesome move. I’m not sure I like Bischoff as a face, tho. He’s natural in his element as a sneaky, conniving weasel, and you can’t help but look out to see if he’s got his fingers crossed behind his back. Joe’s return was nice, and it’ll be interesting to see what they do with the fact he’s been kidnapped for the past two months.

If TNA is still doing the replays on Thursdays, don’t make plans that night. Watch this show!

As for me, I’ll be seeing ya next week!