Anyway, I got’s me a tall glass of water and some Wegmans cookies (Holy crap Wegmans is awesome!) [Ed. Note: when I go to Erie to visit, they have no good sandwich shops; Wegmans' deli, however, OWNS~!], so let’s do this! Let’s CROSS THE LINE!

Wait… new opening graphic to open the show? So now we are no longer crossing the line. I guess seeing as how we’ve crossed the line, we are now POSSESSED BY THE FUTURE! No Jeff Hardy or Awesome Kong in the new promo. This makes me a kind of sad Dan. Oh well, on to the…

PYRO, and we are LIVE in the impact zone in Orlando, and Taz and Tenay take no time to start hyping the upcoming match between Hogan and Flair.

Well, I guess they decided that this was the way they were going to set the tone by giving it to us right out of the gate!

Hulk Hogan and Abyss vs. Ric Flair and AJ Styles.

Hogan has a mic, and we get a shot of Brooke Hogan wearing that same blue dress she was wearing on January 4^th. Is her music career tanking that bad that she can’t afford a new dress? Hogan says that it’s time to stop the clownin, brother, and now it’s time to take care of business. Hogan is drowned out for a minute by a MASSIVE “TNA!” chant. Hogan says that it’s time for Ric and AJ’s reckoning, and to get their asses out here!

AJ has traded his trademark hoodie for a hooded robe with an entire ostrich’s worth of feathers. He still does the “Throw the hood back” thing still, tho. Both Ric and AJ make the ref hold the ropes for them, and after doffing their robes, the bell rings, and it’s on!

AJ and Abyss start. AJ with the rapid fire kicks and tries to whip Abyss into the ropes, but Abyss is an immovable rock, and AJ falls prey to some power based offense.. AJ rolls out of the way and tags Flair in. Falir brings it on, they lock up, and Flair gets him into a corner and fires away with a few chops, Abyss no-sells these, grabs Flair, throws him intot he corner, and does some overhand chops of his own. A back body drop later, and Abyss goes in for the kill, but the ref is distracted with something Hogan is doing and Ric takes this moment to low blow Abyss. AJ wraps his robeover Abyss’ head and fires away with some hockey punches, and this brings Hogan in. Hogan knocks Ric down and stands on his neck. AJ goes to help his mentor and Pele kicks Hogan, knocking him down. The Badguys have mounted the good guys and are firing away when the lights go out…

AND HERE COMES STING! The lights come up, and Sting has Flair and AJ cornered with his baseball bat. Hogan and Abyss make their way to their feet…

And Sting blasts them both! Bat swings put them both down, AJ grabs a chair and levels Abyss with it, and the 3 on 2 beatdown continues with Hogan and Abyss getting color. Security monkeys come out and break things up, and with Brooke looking on all concerned like, AJ and Ric take their leave and Sting disappears. Hogan grabs a mic and says that this isn’t over, that tonight, Hogan and Abyss will get them in the ring to get what’s coming to them, and later tonight, it’s going to be No Disqualification. Ric and AJ go requisitely berserk as we go to commercials.

Back, and moments ago, stuff happened.

Backstage, and Sting is walking with purpose. He’s cut off by Dixie Carter who asks him what he thinks he’s doing. Sting grabs her by the throat, shoves her against the wall, and declares that he owes her nothing. He takes his leave, and Dixie looks like her world has just been shattered.

Cut to Taz and Tenay who are SHOCKED that Sting would ally himself with Flair and Styles and the he would show such hostility to Dixie.

Elsewhere, and Jeremy Borash has managed to glue Styles and Flairs feet to the floor for long enough to ask them a couple stupid questions. He asks the obvious about Sting’s involvement, and AJ ignores that and says that they will be happy to finish the job in a no DQ match. Ric says not to worry about Sting, that he’s finally came to his senses. He shows off Hogan and Abyss’ blood on his hands, and he says that he’ll be happy to add to it. Ric promises that Hogan and Abyss are going out of the arena in an ambulance, and a couple of Woo’s lead us to…

Abyss backstage screaming “Why, Sting, Why!?!!?”

Elsewhere, Brooke is being consoled by Hogans… Girlfriend Jennifer? Brooke isn’t having any of it, and she says that her dad is in over his head but wont admit it, and she storms off.

In the ring, and Kazarian has a mic. He says that 2 years ago, he chose to walk away from TNA. He says he had a lot of doubts about himself, but tonight, those doubts are gone. He says that his return to TNA was to reignite the flame of the X-Division. If TNA is going to war, than let the Warriors of the X-Division lead them into the battle.

Christopher Daniels interrupts him. He wants to make one thing perfectly clear: if anyone is going to lead the X-Division into battle, it’ll be him, not Kaz or any of the other buffoons in the back. He promises to carry the X-Division to the highest of heights, because HE. IS. X! He crossed his hands above his head…

And they are interrupted by X-Division champ Doug Williams. He finds their spouting off amusing, but is here to assure the both of them that the X-Division is alive and well because he is the champ. Kaz asks where was he when they were pioneering the division 7 years ago, Daniels says what’s this “We” bullshit and says that nothing Kaz has ever done has impressed him, and Kaz says that’s because Daniels is a selfish prick.

This brings Eric Bischoff out, and he’s ALL BUSINESS! He says that the X-Division is one of the main reasons he came to TNA. He says that he plans on making the division run bigger, faster, and stronger. He says he knows that Kazarian has a title match at Destination X, But he’s decided to move that time table up, so tonight, we’re going to have the three of them in a three-way match, and the Future starts RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!

Kazarian vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Doug Williams (Champion) for the X-Division title.

The bell rings, a ref dives in, and Daniels goes for a quick schoolboy on Doug, only to get interrupted with a flying Oklahoma roll by Kaz for 2, and then Doug pulls Kaz off into a rollup for another two. Bunch of reversy stuff punctuated with a flying leg from Daniels. Daniels tries to dropkick Kaz, but only gets air as Kaz dodges, and then Kaz eats a flying elbow from Doug. Kaz comes back, and gets a rollup. Daniels tries to pin, but Kaz just grabs him and hits a northern lights suplex WHILE STILL HOLDING DOUG DOWN, leading to a sweet looking near fall where he has both men’s shoulders to the mat. Kaz controls, sending both men out. They start fighting each other outside, so Kaz joins the fun with a diving flip over to top rope onto both men. Kaz makes Daniels eat ringpost, and tries to come in with a slingshot legdrop on Doug, but Doug dodges, and starts controlling with his knee based offense. Kaz gets a chinbuster, but is tripped up by Daniels, who comes back in with an elbow drop. Daniels covers for 2. Doug teies to get in, but is knocked down by Daniels. Death Valley Driver only gets two on Kaz.Doug back up, he fights Daniels off and goes to the top. Daniels meets him up there, and they fight each other down. Trading punches, and Kaz comes in with a double dropkick to put everyone down. Everyone struggles back up, but Kaz kickstarts first with a clothesline on Doug, a flying leg for Daniels, and a dropkick for Doug. Springboard elbow and springboard legdrop gets 2. Doug back in to break things up. Doug locks in a waistlock for a rollup on Kaz, Daniels gets a schoolboy to roll BOTH of them up, but only gets 2. Doug thrown out, Kaz tries to do something, but Daniels takes over. Doug trying to come back, Daniels uses Kaz as a battering ram to knock him out of the ring again. Kaz Slammed down, and Daniels goes for the Best Moonsault Evar! Daniels misses, and Doug grabs him from behind, rams Daniels into Kaz, and then hits the Chaos Theory and this keeps Daniels down for the 3-count.

Doug hardly has time to catch his breath when Shannon Moore charges the ring and a quick head scissors and spin kick later, he makes the universal sign for “I want the Belt.” Doug bails, and Eric is out to inform us that Doug’s new opponent at Destination X is Shannon Moore. Surprise!

Backstage, and Jeremy has Dixie Carter in his interview booth of love. She has this to say about Sting: She’s happy that Sting signed his TNA contract tonight, because he’s going to start earning his money tonight. JB asks who his opponent will be, and Dixie says that Sting will find out when everyone else does. Mystery!

Out to the ring: Sarita and Taylor Wilde vs. The Beautiful People (Velvet Skye and Madison Rayne w/ Lacey Von Erich) Vs. Tara and Angelina Love in a 3-way Match for the Knockout Tag Titles. Wow, absolutely no mention of Awesome Kong or Hamada.

Angelina and Tara chase TBP out of the ring, and get schoolgirled by Sarita and Taylor Wilde for 2 to start. Tara and Taylor square off. Tara controlled for a second by Taylor, but Tara hits a stun gun. Tag to Sarita and she gets a spinning stunner. Velvet blind tags her way in and tries to cover, only gets two, and TBP go for the quick tags in and out. With the help of Lacey, they do a lot of team moves. Angelina comes in at one point and cleans house. Lacey distracts her, and Tara comes in, sets Madison up for the Widows peak when Daffney runs in behind the refs back and clocks Tara with the Knockouts title belt. Madison covers, the ref counts, and ladies and gentlemen, we have new Knockout Tag Champs. As The Beautiful People celebrate, Tara and Angelina exchange angry looks with Daffney’s crazy looks, and with the combination of those boobs sticking out of that corset and the verifiably insane look, I think Daffney wins (my heart).

Backstage, and Christy Hemme continues her torrid interview affair with The Pope. Pope hits on Christy real quick, and says that tonight’s his night, and gets interrupted with a sneak attack by Desmond Wolfe. Desmond works Popes ankle over, and leaves him lying.

Elsewhere, Sting is pensively walking down some steps, Tenay mentions that stings partner is still a mystery, and Taz, for no reason, asks what were “you” doing at 4:20 this afternoon?

Backstage, and Jeremy has three beautiful women jumping all around him. The Beautiful People are positively ecstatic that they are the new Knockout champions. Lacey asks if she’s a champion too, and they say of course, and this makes her happy. Jeremy asks for some bubbly, and TBP hog it all for themselves. Velvet pops a cork on one of the bottles, takes a big swig, and gives us an image that I will be sorely disappointed if it’s not on the Message boards by the time this gets posted by spitting out a long stream of white foam, getting a copious amount all over herself. She then proceeds to spray Madison and Lacey with white stuff, and fanboys everywhere suddenly have to pause their DVR’s and go take care of some business…

And I’m back!

Taz and Tenay are still shocked by Stings actions tonight, which in case you weren’t watching an hour ago, are handily recapped in a quick video package.

Well, it’s time for Sting to take on his mystery opponent. Despite his heinous actions, the crowd still loves him. Sting turns to face the ramp, and awaits his mystery opponent. The Crowd knows about 60 seconds before his music starts:

Rob Van Dam!!! His music starts, and Sting continues looking up the ramp. RVD appears from the crowd behind him tho, and catches Sting with a flying thrust kick when he turns around. One rolling thunder later, and RVD picks up a quick one on Sting!

Sting does not take that lightly, and while RVD celebrates, Sting attacks with the baseball bat. He hits a shot across the back, on the knee, and across the throat, and leaves RVD laying in the ring. He goes to leave, changes his mind and comes back. RVD tries to fight, but Sting lays into his with a few more bat shots, and with RVD crumpled in a corner, he finally takes his leave, pausing only to knock out a few more referees. Sting says, why not, goes back to the ring to deliver some more abuse to RVD, and Hogan coming out to have a word interrupts his fun time. Bubba the Love Douche is out with him trying to hold him back. He finally succeeds in holding him back, and Sting taunts him a few more times with a few more bat shots on RVD. Hogan goes ballistic and tries to go after Sting, but is being held back by security. Hogan forces his way to the ring, only to get met by a bat to the head that knocks him silly. Hogan gets carried away, and as he’s being carried up the ramp, Sting goes after them, knocks a couple out, and then hits a couple more shots on Hogan. He finally takes his leave as Hogan is scraped off the pavement by security.

Taz and Tenay are disappointed at Stings actions, and Kevin Nash and Eric Young are making their way to the ring interrupt their insightful analysis.

Nash has a mic, and finds it funny that Waltman and Hall have been finding their way into the Impact Zone with regularity. Well, Nash has had a conversation with Hogan, and as a result, he now holds in his hand a one-time pass contract for Hall and Waltman to face them in a match at Designation X (Nash’s flub, not mine.) He knows they are out there somewhere, so they might as well make their way to the ring and accept the challenge.

After a commercial break, and Nash and Young are still waiting in the ring (presumably they kept the crowd entertained with their hilarious ventriloquism act.) Nash continues to flash the contract, and is perplexed that they havent’ shown up yet. Taz says they may have gotten the munchies and are at the concession stand. Hall and Waltman finally show up, and Security magically appears to keep them separate. Hall gives us a “Hey Yo!” and calls Nash “Big Sellout” He points out that Hogan has been put down by Sting, so he ain’t in charge no mo. Hall says that he and Sean aren’t that smart, but they have lawyers that are, and that when they beat them at Destination X, then Nash is to take that one time contract, hand it to Terry Taylor, have him hand it to Dixie Carter, and have Dixie give them a big, fat, money contract. He calls out Eric B, and Eric appears on the Impact-a-tron. He says I’ll tell you what, you got a deal. If they beat Nash and Young, then they get their contract, but if they lose, then they hit the bricks. Nash says that he’ll see you at the PPV and shakes Halls hand. Young goes to shake Waltmans hand, and Waltman slaps the taste out of his mouth. This sets off a brawl that Eric stops by ordering Hall and Nash and the security team away from the ring, and giving Young a “license to kill and to slap the taste out of that bitch Pac’s mouth!”

Eric Young vs. Pac

Eric Thesz presses Pac to start. Pac comes back with some kicks, but Eric isn’t having any of it and pounds Pac’s head into the mat. Pac gets a back body drop, and sets Eric up in the corner, but Eric dodges the broncobuster. Eric grabs Pac, hits the piledriver, and the 1-2-3 Kid goes down, 1-2-3.

Backstage, and the Army has arrived!

Back from commercials, and a line of soldiers comes out to flank the entrance ramp. They act as an honor guard as Kurt Angle comes to the ring and then surround it. Kurt has a mic. And says to Mr. Anderson that he’s brought a few of his closest friends with him tonight. He does the standard patriotic speech about the sacrifices that our servicemen make every day, and that these guys make the choice to fight and die so that we may live our every day life, and that they are the people that Mr. Anderson spit on 2 weeks ago. He calls his gold medal win nothing compared to what they do every day, and he will not have Mr. Anderson disrespecting him.

Mr. Anderson appears on the Impact-a-tron and says that this isn’t about Kurt and the soldiers, it’s about him, Angle, and this little international object (holding up the warrior medal) that he used on…

BLAM! Kurt has sprinted from the ring to the back and blasts Anderson off his feet! Kurt drags him to the ring and starts beating him down. Anderson tries to get away, but finds his way blocked by soldiers. Anderson backs up right into Angles arms, and He drags him into the ring, only to throw him out, right into the arms of the soldiers acting like lumberjacks, who beat on him for a minute, drag him back into the ring, and then Kurt throws him out the other side to THOSE soldiers can get a chance to wail on him. They even let the woman soldier get in and throw a few choice shots. Anderson rolled intot he ring, he eats an Angle Slam, and Kurt grabs a flag, spits on Andersons corpse, and holds the flag high to a rousing “USA!” chant.

After commercials, Bubba the Love Douche is begging Hogan to stop. Hogan doesn’t want to hear it, and says that this is the last shot for TNA. He’s gotta do this, and as he’s explaining his reasons, Earl Hebner barges in and says he’s sorry and begs for another chance. Hogan tells Earl that he doesn’t have time for this, and Bubba cuts him off and tells Hogan that everyone deserves a second chance, completely forgetting that Earl screwed Hogan over after getting paid off by Ric. Hogan stands up, tells Bubba to get out of his face, and tells Earl that it’d be an honor the have him back in the ring with him again, and that he has to promise him that if things go out of control, that for the sake of his daughter and his son, that he’ll stop the match. Earl promises, and they leave Hogan with his thoughts.

Backstage, and Jeff Jarrett runs into James Storm and asks if Eric forced Beer Money into this match? James says hell no, he asked for this match. Jeff is aghast, and runs down the things that Jeff and his family have done for James in years gone by. James says that those days are past, that Eric is doing things for James now, and is sorry about Jeff’s Damn Luck! Jeff pops James across the mouth, and is attacked from behind by Robert Roode who starts the two-on-one beatdown. Mick Foley appears out of nowhere (?) and tells them to take it to the ring, and as they go to the ring, we go to commercials.

Back, and Beer Money is continuing what they started backstage at ringside. Mick is in the ring acting as special referee. They roll Jeff into the ring, Mick calls for the bell, takes off his suit jacket, revealing a Referee striped jacket underneath. Jeff gets a brief hope spot, but after a spine buster and a leg drop, Beer Money takes back over. James gets an Eye of the Storm, and Rick holds Jeff while James loads up a swig of beer. Jeff dodges the spit, and comes back after dumping both guys out of the ring. After a double noggin knocker, Beer Money trips Jeff up and regain control, Beer Money gets back in the ring and Mick rolls out to check on Jeff. Mick reaches under the ring, and grabs the barbed wire baseball bat and hands it to Jeff. Jeff rolls back into the ring, and Referee Slick Johnson runs out and wrestles the bat away from Jeff. Mick chases Slick out of the ring, but Jeff falls prey to the Drinking While Investing, and Slick rolls back in to count the 3. As Beer Money leave, they yell into the camera that they did their job, and people better watch out. In the ring, Mick checks on Jeff, and looks on forlornly.

Backstage, and Abyss is begging Hogan to let him start. He and Hogan’s heart to heart is interrupted by Brooke who is all a teary eyed and doesn’t want to see her dad go out there in this condition. Hogan says that this is his second chance, and that Abyss has his back and he’s going to make this work. Brooke makes Hogan promise that this will be the last time, and Hogan says yes, this is the last time. They hug, and we go to commercials.

Back, and the match is announced as a continuation of the match from earlier.

Ric Flair and AJ Styles vs. Abyss and Hulk Hogan: no DQ, continuing from earlier.

Hogan gets in the ring and tears the shirt off. We go to our final commercial break.

Back, and Hogan and Ric start Ric fires off some chops, but Hogan no-sells and throws Ric out of the ring. Hogan follows, stuffs his do rag into Ric’s mouth, and rams his head into the guard rail. Ric is now bleeding like a champ, and getting beaten around the ring by Hogan. Ric tries to do more chops, but Hogan no sells again. Hogan punches him a couple more times, Falir walks away up to the ramp, and flops down. Hogan back in the ring, holding AJ at bay with the weight belt as Abyss goes and pounds on Ric some more. Abyss rolls Flair back into the ring, and Hogan goes to pick him up, but Flair hits the low blow. Tag to AJ, and he goes basic brawlery with Hogan, throwing him out of the ring, bashing him on the guard rail in front of Brooke. Hogan rolled back in, thrown in the corner, and AJ blows a kiss to Brooke as he continues beating on Hogan. Tag to Ric, and Ric knocks Hogan down, and then goes to the top rope. Hogan up, grabs Ric’s nuts, and slams him to the mat. Hogan gets the hot tag to Abyss, and he’s a ball o far! Double clotheslines and chokeslams all around. AJ comes back with a flying forearm, cover gets 2. Hogan and Ric back in the ring, both of them Hulk up, give their respective opponents “You!” and they beat them down. Black Hole Slam on AJ, cover, and Abyss gets the pin for his side!

Hogan and Abyss barely have time to celebrate when Desmond Wolfe comes down and lays Abyss out with a chair. He goes after Hogan, but it’s caught and taken away from him. Ric gets a chop block on Hogan, tho, and the 3 on 2 beatdown continues until Pope runs out and even things up. AJ gets the chop block this time and things look lost for the good guys until Jeff Hardy runs out to save the day! Jeff sends the bad guys scattering and it’s total chaos as we fade out to the Spike logo.