Yup, 3:42 into the round, and that’s it. And thanks to the Wikipedia, I see that this was about a year before Bisping got made into a glass jawed bitch by Dan Henderson at UFC 100. Man, is this normal for Spike to show 2 year old UFC matches?

Anyway, it’s time to Cross the Line! TNA is on!
 

Stuff happened last week, I recapped it.

Intro; Awesome Kong is still in it.

Tenay lets us know that tonight two more slots will be filled in the 8-Card Stud tourney, as well as three belts will be on the line.

First up, it’s an 8-Card Stud qualifier: Brutus Magnus vs. Mr. Kenn… err… Anderson (W/ self introduction)

He says he’s the future of that there 4-sided ring. This draws a smattering of boos. He says, “Hey hey, “I” didn’t say that I was the future, Hulk Hogan said I was the future! And if Hulk Hogan says so, then it must be true!”

Match starts with some back and forth clubberizing. Brutus backs Anderson into the corner, the Ref Breaks it up, and this is the opening Anderson needs to take control with a clothesline. Anderson with the ground and pound and does a neat little segment where he argues with the ref, all the time mule kicking Brutus behind his back. Brutus comes back with a flying elbow. Brutus goes for The Tormenter, but Anderson gouges the eye and finishes Brutus off with the Mic Check. Anderson calls for his mic and announces, “Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! Mr. Anderson…………… * whispering * Anderson.”

Outside, a Beat up Ford Taurus (Weren’t they sold that way? ZING!) pulls up and it’s Mick Foley inside. He makes his way into the arena as we make our way to …

(ADS)

Backstage, and Christy Hemme has cornered Kurt Angle. He doesn’t want to talk about his match with Tomko later, He wants to talk about Hulk Hogan, a man who shook his hand, and then stabbed him in the back first with Ric and AJ, and then with 6-Pac and Hall. Hogan better watch out, Angles coming to see him, and he’s got a bad attitude.

Taz and Tenay give us the rundown to the matches that will get run in on later tonight and here comes Eric Bischoff out to wordify!

He says it’s great to be back, but has a few choice words for Mick Foley. Hogan said that Mick should fall in line, and Foley doesn’t want that. Eric promises to make Foleys life VERY difficult, and this brings the man out.

Mick Foley makes his way down to the ring, and says that there must be something wrong with his head, not just because he puts his body on the line in ways that roman gladiators would blanch at, but that he likes everyone too much. Despite people trying to tell him he should, he couldn’t say bad stuff about people like Marcus Bagwell, Paul Heyman, and Jim Hellwig. He’s too nice and tries to see the best in people. BUT! Mick Makes an exception for Eric and hates him with a passion. He calls Eric a sniveling scumbag who weaseled his way to the top and that he was the worst announcer he’d ever heard. Taz says that apparently Mick had never heard of Mike Adamle. HA!

Mick tells Eric that he’s a scumbag for threatening his friends because Mick is who he is. Eric says he’s sorry to hear this, But he’s about to turn another page and that Mick will like this because he’s a best selling author. Mick counters with a book related reference of his own, and says that he wrote about Eric Bischoff that Power should be limited to those that don’t want it. And Eric has abused his power. Mick equates the wrestling industry to his marriage of 20 years. He says that while the love may not last, that they may go their separate ways, he’ll be damned if he’ll let someone violate the thing that he once loved and goes to make his exit. Eric calls him back, however and tells him that he holds Borash and Abyss’ careers in his hand, and that if Mick wants to do anything for his friends, then he has a match later tonight against Nash, a man he sneak attacked a while back. Eric says “titty tatty” a few times, and Mick seethes as we go backstage.

Abyss and JB are watching a monitor, and Abyss asks if he’s going to be ok. Borash says that He worked with Eric 10 years ago, and things haven’t changed. No, nobody is going to be ok…

(ADS)

Back, and Christy Hemme has cornered Tara, and Tara says that she cant wait to put Angelina Love in her place tonight for the torment she put Tara through when she first got to TNA.

Out to the ring, and it’s the Dudley Boys vs. Mornandez for the World Tag Titles.

Ray and Hernandez start, and they exchange power around the ring for a bit. Pattern goes, “one guy makes big move, other guy makes big move.” After stopping a Hernandez top rope move, Ray tags in Devon, and Hernandez tags in Morgan. Morgan dominates Devon and tags in Hernandez. Hernandez with the neck vice, Devon powers out but gets knocked down for 2. Hernandez puts Devon up top, but gets bitten for his trouble, knocked off, and Devon hits a flying headbutt. Double Tag, and Ray is a house afire. Challengers dominate and set Hernandez up for Whassup when The Nastys come out and knock Devon off the top. Ray tells them off, and this gives Hernandez the opening to throw Ray into the Carbon Footprint. Morgan covers, 1-2-3 and the champs retain.

Nastys continue their assault with steel chairs, and Mornandez make the save and run the Nastys off. Dudleys get up in a fighting mood. Mornandez calm the duds down, and fist pounds all around show that all is good.

(ADS)

Back, and Jessie Neal is out to take on Samoa Joe. In the ring, and Jessie tries to get the early beatdown. He runs into a Urinage suplex, and gets his ass beat down in the corner. Jessie goes for the eyes, and this gives him an advantage for a second. He goes for something off the second rope, but that ends badly as Joe gut punches him coming down. Joe with a flurry of slaps and punches, Muscle Buster, and Joe picks up the duke.

Backstage, and Hogan can’t get away from Christy fast enough. She tells him that Kurt is coming after him and is pissed. Hogan isn’t concerned and tells her to let him know that Hogan is easy enough to find.

(ADS)

Out to the ring, and The Pope D’Angelo Dinero is out to challenge AJ Styles’ (W/ Ric Flair) in a non-championship match. As AJ makes his entrance, He goes to enter the ring normally; Ric stops him, tho, calls the ref over, and has him hold the ropes open for him. Nice little thing there.

Match starts with some chain wrestling, Pope into the corner, and AJ hits a few chops. When he turns around to brag, he turns back into Pope slapping him in the face. They exchange some chain wrestling again, with Pope counters with some forearms and elbows. AJ bails to catch his breath as we go to…

(ADS)

Back, and AJ has Pope under control. Pope runs the ropes only to eat a dropkick. AJ with the stomps. Chop exchange in the corner ends with AJ sitting on popes back grinding in a facelock.. AJ chokes Pope out on the ropes. Suplex, cover gets 2. Pope gets a quick hope spot and a BIG sunset flip for 2, but AJ stops that rally with an elbow to the face. Rear chinlock on Pope. Pope tries to fight back up, but he gets yanked back down. Pope with Iblockyourpunchyoudontblockmine and comes back with a series of forearms and a shoulderblock for 2. AJ with a pele kick, but Pope gets a stun gun on the top turnbuckle. Pope misses a Coronation. AJ stalks him, and goes for a vertical suplex, and Pope blocks and reverses into a small package. 1-2-3!!! Pope beats AJ, but has no time to savor his victory, as Ric is in to start the beatdown. After a few seconds, Samoa Joe runs in for the save. He starts beating on AJ, Ric turns him around and chops him. Joe no-sells it and goes after Ric, but that leaves him open for a chop block from AJ. They start to beat down on Joe, and Dinero is back up. They pair off, Joe clotheslines Ric out of the ring, and we go to…

(ADS)

Back, and Security is holding back Pope and Joe, and Ric is taunting them on the mic from the ramp. Joe grabs a mic, and tells Flair to shut up before he stomps the nature out of his ass. He tells AJ that he was once a Warrior, he was once a Champion, he was once a MAN! But now, he’s nothing but an unrepentant scumbag who only cares about cheap suits and cheap hookers. Joe tells us that he’s cashing in his Feast or Fired shot at Against all Odds on February 14th. This, of course, makes Ric and AJ berserk. Joe says to Pope that they should go and give people a preview right now. Pope agrees, punches a couple of security guys, and they chase Ric and AJ out of the arena.

Christy has Angelina Love cornered backstage. Instead of giving us what we want with a big make out session; they decide to talk about how Angelina taught The Beautiful People everything they know, but not Everything SHE knows and that it was a bad idea to try to replace her.

Backstage, and Nash and Eric Young are talking about getting back on track. Eric Bischoff interrupts, fails to recognize Eric Young (* muttering to himself * “There’s another name I won’t remember in the morning.”), and asks for some alone time with Nash. He tells Nash that he needs him to destroy Mick Foley tonight. Nash says, “So I’m doing you a favor?” Eric tells him that he can either fight and scratch from the bottom up like all the other jobbers in TNA, or he can destroy Mick Foley tonight and keep his current spot. Eric Leaves, Nash is left with a pensive look on his face.

Earlier tonight, Eric made an ultimatum to Mick.

Backstage, Mick is telling Christy that while he doesn’t want to fight tonight and he’s not wearing traditional ring attire, he got a brand new pair of athletic shoes for Christmas, and he’s gonna lace them up tonight. Christy asks him about Nash, and Mick starts telling a story about how he’s over all the bad blood with Nash when Abyss shows up begging Mick to fall in line. Mick says not to worry, that he’s got things under control tonight. He then makes Abyss promise him that no matter what happens tonight, he is to stay in the back tonight. Abyss agrees, and Mick makes his exit. I’m sure that Abyss is going to do exactly as Mick has asked of him and won’t swerve him at all later. (/foreshadowing?)

Out to the ring, and it’s time for the next 8-Card Stud tourney match, and it’s (Fat) Tomko vs. Kurt Angle.

We start with Tomko being overcome by Tomko’s power. Tomko with a rest hold chinlock that Angle elbows out of, but then runs into a chokeslam. Tomko up to the top rope, and Angle meets him up there with a belly-to-belly suplex. Angle with the triple Germans, but Tomko elbows his way out before the third can his, but runs right into an Angle slam. Taz says that watching this match is kind of like watching Picasso paint a painting, except for the part where Tomko just took Angles head off with a clothesline. Angle gets the Triple Germans, and just for good measure, hits a couple more. Kurt up, the straps come down, the ankle lock is slapped on, and the tapout is perfunctory. Kurt stays for long enough to have his arm raised, and then storms off, presumably in search of Hulk Hogan.

Backstage, and Angelina and Tara are walking. Their match is next.

(ADS)

We’re back and there’s a picture slideshow of what happened in England. I must have missed the pic of Rob Terry winning the Global Title. I’m sure it’s just an oversight and not TNA not giving a shit about a tertiary title.

Quick recap of the hostilities between Mick Foley and Nash.

Backstage, and Hogan is looking through a bunch of papers. Nash walks in and Hogan tells him that Tri-Star thing is looking good. Nash says great, and asks for another chance for 6-Pac and Hall. Hogan tells him that Nash has a good thing going here, and the sooner he distances himself from those two guys, the better. Nash is reluctant, and walks out.

Recap of the origin and current hostilities between Angelina and The Beautiful People.

Angelina Love is out to take on Tara for her Knockouts Championship.

Tara controls early with a headlock. They exchange a few pin attempts and as Tara gets an arm wringer, we go to…

(ADS)

Back, and Angelina is working the arm, Tara reverses, and it looks like Tara spun herself right out of her top as suddenly, her chest is now blurry. They counter and exchange for a bit and Tara gets a cover out of nowhere to win. After a show of mutual respect, the Beautiful People take the ring and start the beatdown on Angelina. Tara doesn’t hear the commotion behind her for a good 15 seconds, and when she finally turns around to see it, she takes another 10 seconds to finally act and she beats TBP down. Velvet gets caught between the two of them, and bails out the side of the ring. Faces stand victorious.

Outside, and 6-Pac and Hall are sneaking around, looking for a way into the building. Oh what wacky shenanigans are they planning?

(ADS)

Backstage, and Kurt Angle has found Hogan and demands answers. Hogan uses logic to counter Kurt’s hostility: Why would he use a couple of thugs he won’t even give contracts to do his dirty work? Kurt says that he’s not fooled, and he won’t let Hogan screw him over like he’s screwed so many before. Hogan says that Angles temper has gotten him in trouble many times before, and he hopes that it doesn’t blow the shot he has now. Hogan tells him to get out of his office.

Out to the ring, and Mick Foley is out with Barbie, his trusty barbed wire baseball bat. Nash is out with a shopping cart full of plunder. Nash uses a trashcan to protect himself from Barbie to start, and gets a clothesline to knock Foley down. They garbage wrestle for a few minutes. Foley grabs a prop, hesitates for a second, and this is the opening Nash needs to hit the big boot. Nash covers, and gets the pin.

Nash picks up the picture Mick was holding and we see that it was a caricature of Mick and Abyss like the ones you get at Busch Gardens (Or Universal Studios Orlando!) 6-Pac and Hall make their way to the ring through the crowd at this point. They stand face to face with Nash, tease going after Foley for a second…

And Hall punches Nash in the face, followed up by a roundhouse kick from Pac. They continue the beat down for a minute, pose in the middle of the ring, and we’re out of here.

Once again, a very good effort by TNA. Some of the matches were a bit sloppy, but they told their stories well enough. And huh! I was actually expecting Abyss to make his way to the ring and be the one to beat down Foley. Nice of them to exceed my expectations like that. Little touches throughout the show helped keep the entertainment factor up, and they’re doing a good job of making me want to come back every week to see what happens next.

Speaking of which, I will be absent next week as I run the Costume Contest at Katsucon in the DC area. But fear not, Gentle reader, I’ll be back in two weeks to let you know what happens next.

3.0 out of 5