For every step you took forward last week during the show, that ending gave you a step back, making you look no better than the backyard fed that tried the same thing a few years back and tried to convince the 10 people in the audience that it was the most shocking moment in pro wrestling EVER.

All I’m asking, TNA, is that you find your own voice, your own style, your own look. Keep away from parroting the other guy, Find something that works for you, and stick with it.

Anyway, on with the show!

Last week, Mick Foley broke stuff, beat up some british guys, confronted Eric Bischoff, and got himself fired. (or did he!?) Ric Flair chose a successor, and Kurt Angle got Screwed. Will we find out what Hogans involvement will be this week? Find out next.

Opening, and Awesome Kong is still in the video.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff are out to do some wordifying. Tenay tells us that Hogan has been investigating the events of last week. Hogan immediately calls out Mick Foley. He says that they are going to work things out right here, right now. Eric says there’s nothing to work out, he’s been fired. Hogan says that there’s a lot of potential in Mick, Eric says that Mick isn’t stable. Mick calls bullshit on Eric’s bloody appearance last week, and says that if Mick actually HAD decided to rough Eric up, the Eric wouldn’t even be standing here this week, because he would have been brought out on a stretcher. Hogan says that things need to be worked out… and the trailer monkeys fire up Hogans music. All three guys share a pregnant pause, and Hogan wraps things up by saying that they need to work things out on their own. We go to…

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Back and Bubba the Love Douche is telling Jeff Jarrett that he called in a couple favors. Jeff tells him not to worry, and they walk off camera.

Christy Hemme has cornered KEN ANDERSON, OH, SORRY, IT’S MR. ANDERSON. HE CORRECTS CHRISTY OF THIS, AND GOES ON TO CHALLENGE ANYONE IN THE LOCKER ROOM. HE HIT’S HIS CATCHPHRASE, EXITS, CHRISTY STARTS TO TALK, AND HE COMES BACK TO FINISH. FUNNY STUFF.

OUT TO THE RING, AND DESMOND WOLFE (W/ CHELSEA) IS OUT TO TAKE ON SEAN MORLEY IN A FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE 8-CARD STUD TOURNAMENT, WITH THE WINNER GETTING A TITLE SHOT AT THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

THEY START WITH SOME HAMMERLOCKY, AND DESMOND CONTROLS EARLY. THE REF PULLS HIM OFF SEAN IN THE CORNER, AND SEAN OUT QUICK WITH A CLOTHESLINE. DESMOND COUNTERS WITH A HAMMERLOCK DDT. DESMOND TIES UP SEANS LEG AND STRETCHES SEAN OUT. SEAN POWERS OUT, AND GETS A COUPLE SHOTS IN. BACK AND FORTH LEADS TO A NECKBREAKER ON DESMOND. SEAN GETS A HALF NELSON SLAM AND GOES UP FOR THE FROG SPLASH. DESMOND HITS THE ROPES, CAUSEING SEAN TO CROTCH HIMSELF. ONE TOWER OF LONDON LATER, AND DESMOND MOVES FORWARD IN THE TOURNEY.

BACKSTAGE, AND A VERY HUMBLED JEFF JARRETT IS IN ERIC AND HOGANS OFFICE. HE SAYS THAT BUBBA HELPED HIM SEE THE LIGHT, AND HE’S READY TO START ANEW. HOGAN IS PLEASED TO HEAR THIS, AND IS LOOKING FORWARD TO WORKING WITH HIM. ERIC SAYS HE’S HAD A GREAT IDEA: KEN ANDERSON HAS MADE AN OPEN CHALLENGE, AND JEFF IS JUST THE MAN TO FILL IT. JEFF IS RELUCTANT, BUT IF IT’S BEST FOR TNA, THEN HE’S UP FOR IT AND GOES TO GET READY. HOGAN TELLS ERIC, “GOD YOU’RE STIFF!” AND THAT HE NEEDS TO TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH OR TWO. EW!
 
[Ed. Note: Ouch. My ears hurt. Why are you SCREAMING?]

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Last week, CONTROVERSY of an AJ Styles/Kurt Angle flavor.

Backstage, and AJ Styles is checking out the hot blonde while Ric Flair gabs on about the new suits that he had custom made for him. AJ makes the requisite pass at the blonde, and Ric says “You got a girl for me too?” She says yes, and they all laugh. Ric does his “oldest ride, longest line” line.

Out to the ring, and in the next match in the 8 Card Stud tourney, it’s Daniels vs. Hernandez.

Daniels attacks quick, getting a flurry of offense in. Hernandez is bigger, tho, and he hits a couple power moves. Nice delayed vertical suplex. Daniels changes the pace with a Greco Roman Eyepoke and follows up with a running Enziguri. Pin attempt gets 2. Daniels going for the Vulcan nerve pinch. Hernandez fights back, but gets knee’d out of the ring. Daniels tries to follow, but the ref stops him. Hernadez back in with the flying shoulder block. They back and forth a second or two with a neat spot with Hernandez pulling himself up onto the top turnbuckle Skin-the-cat style. Hernandez tries for a splash, but Daniels moves. Daniels tries something, but once again, Hernandez is big and Daniels is small, and one running powerslam later, Hernandez picks up the duke and advances in the tourney.

Up next, Tenay will be moderating a chitchat session between the Dudley’s and the Nasty’s. Taz wishes him luck, and we go to…

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From Paris with Love. Travolta says “Royale with Cheese!” Ok, I’ll go see it.

Nasty Boys are out with Tenays intro, and then the Dudley Boys are introduced. Before they can get to the ring, Security stops them to keep them apart. Brother Ray recaps the interactions between the teams the past couple weeks, and then reasks his question from two weeks ago: Where the hell have the Nasty Boys been for the past 10 years? Sags grabs a nmic and says they always have and always willb e Nasty. Devon runs down their accomplishments, holding titles in every major fed in America, and says that’s why they’re the greatest. Knobs lists the teams that they’ve beat in the past (Hart Foundation, Road Warriors, Hall and Nash, etc.) and says that on Valentines day, they ain’t giving them flowers or chocolates (of course not, Knobs will have eaten them all! Zing!) but they’re going to knock their stinkin teeth down their stinkin throats! Stinkin! Brother Ray says bring it, starts a “Team 3-D chant, and we’re off.

Backstage, Christy Hemme has cornered The Beautiful People and asks them what they think about the return of Angelina love. Madison says she doesn’t want to hear that name again, and Lacey says that tonight, they’re going to prove where the TNA Knockout gold belongs.

In the locker room, Jeff Jarrett is concerned about his in-ring return tonight.

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Commercial for the Royal Rumble during TNA! Ha!

Back, and Bobby Lashley is talking to Eric. Eric says that Bobby is a real sport for coming in, and is fired. Bobby takes this as well as you’d expect, and is hauled out by security. “Taking out the trash!” Eric says with a whimsical look.

Out to the ring, and The Beautiful People are out to take on Tara, Awesome Kong, and Hamada.

Hamada starts with Madison. Madison tries to make fun of Hamada, gets a kick in the ass for her troubles. Lots of shops, arm wringers, and hamada hits a top rope leaping arm drag. Shenanigans turn the favor to the People, and a few quick tags keeps Hamada cornered. Hamada rolls through and a drop toehold gives her the opening to get the tag to Tara. Tara with the knockdown, standing moonsault, more shenanigans, and Tara is now stuck in the People’s corner. Off the ropes, and a double facebuster leads to the double tag. Kong in and she cleans house. Tag back to Hamada, and she’s a ball o’ fire! Shenanigans lead to a pier 6 brawl, and Kong chases Velvet out of the area. Hamada has Madison right where she wants her, but Lacey interferes. Madison distracts the ref, and Lacey hits Hamada with the ugly stick. Madison covers, and gets the pin. Post match, they do the beatdown on Tara, and Angelina Love makes the save. Staredown of intense rivalry takes us to…

Hogan’s office where he’s grilling Earl Hebner as to last weeks shenanigans. He doesn’t buy Earls explanation that Angle tapped, and Hogan says he was watching, and knows that Hebner called for the bell too early. He grills him some more, and finally Hebner snaps and admits that Ric gave him a huge check. Hogan is shocked (shocked I tell you!) at this development, and suspends Earl.

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Back, and Rachel the Hot Blond has come back with three more girls for AJ and Ric. Ric acts like a horny old man, picks one, AJ says the rest are his.

Bubba the Love Douche catches up with Mick Foley and says that he’s worried about Mick’s meeting with Eric later. Mick says that Bubba is a Glass Half Empty kind of guy, while Mick is a glass half full kind of guy. He says that no matter what happens tonight, Mick has a mini van, doesn’t owe anyone a dime, and is happy with his life.

Out to the ring, and Kurt Angle has a few things to say to AJ. He says that AJ went from a Respected Hero™ to a Punk Ass Bitch™ on one night. He says that he’s lost all respect for AJ because Ric is just using him for his own ends. He has a spot in the 8 Card Stud Tourney, and He’ll beat everyone in it just to get a shot at AJ again.

Hogan is out, and says that Angles actions last week were unacceptable. Yeah, Hebner screwed him over, but there was no need to spit in Hogans face. Kurt has one more chance, but if anything like that happens again, he’s gone, Brother! Angle acknowledges that what he did was wrong, and apologizes, complete with handshake. Hogan accepts the apology and takes his leave, which takes us to…

6-Pac sneak attacking Kurt! Scott Hall stumbles into the ring after him, and they continue the beatdown into the commercial break.

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Backstage, and 6-Pac and Hall are being escorted out of the building by security. They promise to be back next week.

Out to the ring, and Brian Kendrick is teaming with the Motor City Machine Guns against Generation ME and Amazing Red.

Kendrick attacks Red to start, and that’s the last thing I can coherently type about this match. It was just too much fast and furious action to keep up with my 73 words a minute (58 when you factor in typos). Download it, check it out on TNA.com, whatever, but lots of really cool spots. Match ends when Kendrick gets a blind tag on Shelley and steals a nasty looking kick on Red. He curls him up for the pin and the MCM are confused when Brian get’s his hand raised. Everyone exits, leaving Red lying in the ring…

And here comes the British Invasion. They continue the beatdown on Red, and Rob Terry doffs his robe and looks like he’s going to cash it in. Brutus stops him, and motions like he wants Rob to give the case to Doug. Rob balks at this, and they argue their way into the…

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We’re back and Rob was forced to turn his shot over to Doug. Red fights valiantly for a few seconds, but Doug hits a rolling German suplex, and just like that, Doug Williams is the new X-Division champion! Rob sits at ringside glowering while Brutus and Doug celebrate in the ring.

Backstage, and Jeff Jarrett is stretching out in anticipation of his return to the ring, which is next.

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Back, and Mick Foley is talking to Eric, and opining that Eric maybe, possibly self-mutilated himself. Eric smiles, and Mick decides to tell Eric a story about his son dropping a deuce in the tunnel at Chuck E Cheeses. He says he’d rather be the guy that had to go in and clean up the mess rather than work for Eric. Eric says he’s sorry to hear that, but even though Mick wants to leave, two of Micks good friends don’t: Abyss and Jeremy Borash. And if Mick leaves, then Eric might have to do something drastic. This shuts Mick up, Eric tells him to have a nice day, and orders the cameraman to follow him. He walks down the hall to AJ and Ric’s party room and interrupts them as AJ and the girls dance to Ric’s constant intonations of “Woo!” Eric says that he is going to have to interrupt their plans of taking it easy and partying for the next 30 days, because nobody is special in TNA, and everyone is on 24 hour notice, even the champ. Eric takes his leave, and AJ and Ric scoff and return to partying.

Jarrett and Mr. Anderson are walking! Their match is next.

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Mr. Anderson and Jeff Jarrett are out for their match. Mr. Anderson does his normal self-introduction, complete with crowd sing-along. Jeff gets no music as he makes his entrance.

Before the match starts, Anderson gives Jeff a sarcastic ”YaaaaY!” and clap. Bell rings, and they lock up. Forced into the corner, they break, Anderson goes for a cheap shot, Jeff Dodges, hits a couple rights of his own, and we go back to the start. Lock up, and Jeff overpowers Anderson and hits a series of shoulder blocks. They go for a lock up again, and Anderson gets a knee to the midsection to turn the tide in his favor. Anderson going for methodical, and walks into a few hip tosses by Jeff. Jeff clotheslines Anderson out of the ring, gives his strut, and we go to commercial.

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Back, and Anderson has taken control. He’s got Jeff on the outside and is working the left hand. Back in the ring, and gets a hammerlock, picks him up and drops him down on it. Anderson with the arm bar, but Jeff won’t give up. Jeff throws Anderson intot he corner, but eats a boot as he charges in. Anderson hits a flying armbar, and sends Jeff to the ropes. He ducks a couple clotheslines and locks in a sleeper. Jeff fights out, but is knocked down by a shoulder block. Anderson up to the top rope, but misses a Green Bay Plunge but misses. Jeff with Iblockyourpunchbutyoudontblockmine, They exchange fists, and Anderson goes for the Mic Check, which Jeff reverses into a Stroke. Anderson gives Jeff a Mule kick that Slick Johnson doesn’t see, then rolls him up for a small package and the win.

After the match, Anderson calls for his mic and announces himself as the winner. Before he can do the second “Anderson!” tho, he stops and goes outside to continue the assault on Jeff. He drags Jeff back into the ring, taunts him for a second, and then hits the Mic Check. It is then that we finally get his second “Anderson!”

Back in his office, Eric is putting on his best evil overlord face and says to the monitor, “Jeff, it’s going to be a really long climb to get to the top of my mountain.” We end tonight’s show with the visual of Jeff laid out in the middle of the ring. Spike TV graphic, and we’re out.

Nothing to really complain about this week. They addressed the screwjob from last week in the best way they could, I guess, but the rest was well done episodic TV.

3.5 out of 5