He asks if Orlando has a problem with what they see in the ring right now. It doesn’t matter, because he sees 3 beautiful women! He talks about how for the past 8 years, he’s made the Impact zone the house that Styles built. He was one of the original TNA superstars, he’s the only grand slam champion in TNA ever, and he’s tired of being passed over for the Kurt Angles, the Mick Foleys, the Stings, and everyone else. He proclaims himself a Jet Flying, Limo Riding Wheeling Dealing, Kiss Stealing, Son of a gun!

This brings out Kurt Angle, followed closely by Hulk Hogan. Hogan says that AJ’s alliance with Ric Flair was a mistake, and because he’s the boss, he can change things up. Because of Rics interference at Genesis, Kurt gets one more chance at AJ’s title, and if Ric interferes again, then AJ will be disqualified, have his title stripped and awarded to Kurt. Hogan says it’s Real, it’s Damn Real and Kurt gives the Gaze of Intensity™.

(ADS)

Back, and Mick Foley is back, and Pissed! Woe be you if you’re a stray piece of wooden furniture.

Taz and Tenay are your announce crew, they let us know that the Nasty Boys are going to wrestle Nash and Young later. Also, we’ll be hearing from Mr. Anderson.

But first, The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams) are having a return match against Matt Morgan and Hernandez (Mornandez? Horgan? I’ll work on it…) to try and take back their Tag Titles.

Doug and Matt start, but some chicanery by Brutus turns the match in favor of BI. Matt recovers quick, backs Doug into the corner, hits the flying elbows, and big splash. Matt goes outside to pose, Brutus tries to kick, but Doug gets a baseball slide to put BI in control. Brutus in, keeping Matt down, headlock. Matt powers up, Brutus comes off the ropes and into a discus lariat. Double tag, Hernandez with a flying elbow to come in. He dominates for a few seconds until Rob Terry is out with the distraction. This results in Hernandez almost getting pinned a near fall, but Matt breaks it up. Rob tosses the “feast or fired” case into the ring, heel miscommunication has Doug Williams laid out, and Hernandez gets the pin and the win. Champs retain.

As Hermorgandez make their exit, the Brits start arguing with themselves. While they argue, Mick Foley is out with a chair. He lays them all out, with Doug eating the double underhook DDT. Mick grabs a mic, and informs Eric and us that he going backstage for a little conversation. BANG BANG!

(ADS)

Back, and apparently Bubba the Love Douche called Jeff Jarrett up, and promptly got hung up on. Jeff doesn’t appreciate being put on the air, TNA was doing fine before Hogan and his crew came around, and he doesn’t want to talk to him. That’s good, I wouldn’t want to talk to Bubba the Sperm Receptacle either.

Backstage, Hogan says that they need to deal with Cactus Jack. Eric says that they will, but what about “that other thing.” Hogan says they have it under control. In wanders Nash, who is perplexed as to why he’s teaming with Eric Young. He means, he’s a friend with Eric and all, but The Band has been together for 15 years. Hogan says that Hall and Pac are on his shit list, and if Nash could do him this one favor… Nash agrees and wanders off.

Out to the ring, and Orlando Jordan is out to take on The Pope D’Angelo Dinero. Orlando is giving Pope a “your antics amuse me” kind of look. Bell rings, and we’re off.

They circle each other for a bit, lock up, and Orlando gets a deep arm drag. Chain wrestling, they take it to the mat, and Orlando makes it to the corner for the break. Smack talk, and Orlando slaps Pope. Pope takes him down with a spear, some slaps of his own an some chops, then does the dive through the ropes on orlando’s head and lands at ringside in the arms of the red headed porn star in the front row. Pope back in, and Orlando takes him down with a Dragon screw leg whip. Pope can’t recover and Orlando gets the pin.

Backstage, and Christy Hemme has cornered Kurt Angle. Kurt says he’s disappointed in AJ, but at the same time, AJ is a big boy, and what Kurt is going to do to him tonight is real. It’s damn real!

(ADS)

Bumper in the ads, and Angelina Love is stretching. Tenay says something about a match later, but I’m distracted…

Hey, you can Get Bound for Glory on DVD.

Bubba the Love Douche harassed Jeff Jarrett some more…

In the locker room, Eric Young wants some answers from Nash. He wants to know what the deal is: is Kevin with Eric, or is he with the Band? Kevin says that he’s not going to lie: he’s friends with everyone, and once The Band gets to know Eric, he’ll fit right in.

We get a recap of The Beautiful People replacing Angelina with Lacey, and then last week when Angelina came back and wasn’t happy with that.

Angelina and Madison are walking in hot split screen action. Their match is next!

Grahh… more Bubba harassing Jeff…

Back in Eric’s office, Bobby Lashley wants to talk to Eric man to man. He says enough of the craziness, enough of the fights, he wants to wrestle. Eric says it takes a hell of a man to admit his mistakes, and that’s why he’s about to release a new book, “How I shit away the best wrestling company in the world just to feed my own ego and have threesomes with other men’s wives!” Oh wait, no, he simply tells him cool, he’ll talk it over with Hogan.

Out to the ring, and Madison Rayne is out to take on Angelina Love. Madison does the sexy ass shaking entrance. Angelina shows her how it’s done proper.

Bell rings, and is chick fighting. They brawl all over the place. Angelina takes control with a hair pull, dodges a clothesline, and hits the bicycle kick to win it. Afterwards, Angelina removes Madison’s top (relax, boys, she was wearing two) and starts choking her out with it. This brings Lacey and Velvet out. Angelina fights off Madison and Lacey, and is about to go after Velvet when she’s pearl harbored by Lacey. Three on one beatdown occurs with Velvet directing traffic. Once Angelina is properly laid out, the Beautiful People stand over her and pose.

Backstage, Hogan and Bischoff are walking (and trying their hardest not to look into the camera.)

Back, and Hogan and Bischoff are out to wordify the masses. Hogan says things are moving kinda quick, and there’s some things he needs to address. He references Hall and Pac’s rock/paper/scissors act from the PPV, and he says that they need to come out here now. They get as far as the stage, and Hogan stops them, says he’s tired of their antics, and tells them to get out of the building. They are not happy with this, and security and Nash need to get them back. They eventually leave, and here comes Foley. He’s a might bit perturbed, and once again, security needs to intervene. Eric tells them to deliver him back to his office, and we break to…

(ADS)

Back, and security is squabbling with The Band. Nash tells everyone to shut up. Nash tells Hall and Pac that he’ll fix this.

Out to the Ring, and here comes The Nasty Boys to take on Kevin Nash and Eric Young. Hey, did you know that you can follow Dixie Carter on Twitter? I would probably assume that questions asking if Ric really stuck it in are probably frowned upon.

Eric starts with Sags. Eric tries to fight, but Sags is big and Eric is small, and gets the beat down. Tag to Knobs, who misses an elbow, tag to Nash, who beats him down for a bit. Knobs gets a tag, and Sags comes in with a clothesline. Nash comes back with a big boot. Tag to Eric and he hits the flying elbow. Knobs on the outside and rams Nash into the ring post. Back in, and the double team is on. One trip to Pitty City and a pumphandle slam later, and the Nasty’s have their first TNA win.

Backstage, Mr. Anderson is walking! He’s up next.

(ADS)

Back, and during the commercials, the Dudleys laid the Nastys out with steel chairs. “Welcome back to Pro Wrestling, boys!”

At Genesis, Mr. Anderson used less than honorable means to beat Abyss.

Mr. Anderson is out, and he calls for his microphone. It gets lowered to him, and he’s not in the Impact Zone because of the fans texts and twits and everything. He’s here because Hogan called him up and said, “I believe in you brother!” He’s not going to come out and talk about how he’s the biggest or best or wonkwonkwonk. He’s going to let his actions speak louder than words.

Speaking of actions, he starts talking about how he beat Abyss. As though summoned, Abyss makes his way into the ring and stands behind Anderson. Abyss towers over him, so he’s able to give some quite hilarious facial expressions while Anderson prattles on. He goes to do his big catchphrase and Abyss taps him on the shoulder. He turns, Abyss lays him out. Beatdown ensues and he goes for the black hole slam, but Anderson elbows his way out and escapes. Abyss gives the universal sign for “Bring it!” and we go to commercials.

(ADS)

Back, and Abyss is apologizing to Eric. Eric says that even though Hogan likes him, Eric hates him. This is twice that he’s screwed up his show. Abyss asks him if things are going to be ok. Eric says that depends on his friend Cactus Jack.

Eric walks into the office, and Mick is still being restrained by security. Eric tells security to let Mick go and give them some quiet time. Mick says that he’s still pissed, and he’s got a lot of money put into TNA, and he will stop Eric from screwing it up, by force if necessary. Eric acknowledges the camera, tells them to get out, and as he closes the door with a smirk on his face, Mick screams, “You got a lot of explaining to so, Bischoff!”

Out to the ring, and it’s time for our main event: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle for the World Championship.

Bell rings, and AJ is on the attack. Kurt changes things up with a back body drop, chases him around the ring, and gets a few suplexes. Near fall gets 2. AJ in the corner, kurt with the punches and then the stops. Reversed whip becomes a clothesline. Kurt covers for 2. AJ grabbing on the ref. Kurt comes from behind and AJ does a classic Flair mule kick to take Kurt down. AJ back with some stomps, and we have to go to commercials.

(ADS)

We’re back, and AJ with a chop block. AJ locks in the figure 4. Angle struggles to stay with it. He fights his way over to the ropes. Kurt with iblockyourpunchyoudontblockmine! Kurt hits a couple clotheslines, goes for an angle slam but AJ turns it into an armdrag. Kurt with the triple Germans. Straps come down, Kurt going for the angle slam, but AJ gets out and hits the Pele kick. Attempt at styles clash, but Kurt rolls through, reverses, and puts on the Ankle Lock. AJ struggles for a bit, flips through, and goes to apply the ankle lock…

And Referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell instantly…

AJ bails, followed quickly by Hebner. Kurt is livid, asking what the hell? Hogan comes out, demanding to know who rang the bell. Kurt accuses Hogan of shenanigans, proclaims that this is bullshit, says, “I quit” and spits in Hogans face. Tenay promises that we’ll get to the bottom of this as we go to commercials…

(ADS)

Back, and during the break, Kurt cussed up a storm, stole a chair from Tenay, and started tearing up the stage areas.

Tenay asks Taz if he thinks Hogan had anything to do with this. As Taz answers in the “I don’t know” area, Eric Bischoff comes down with blood all over his face, looking like he just got his ass kicked. He gets in the ring, grabs a mic, and simply says, “Mick Foley. You are fired!” And that ends the show.

Ok, really TNA? You don’t have anything more original to go with then trying to rehash the Montreal Screwjob? * sigh * Hey guys, it isn’t effective any of the times McMahon himself tries to rehash it, it’s not going to be effective when you rehash it!

Apart from that, once again, a very enjoyable show. TNA has a ton of talent and they all look like they are doing their best. Even the Nasty Boys didn’t totally stink up the ring. The only place in here where I’m really going “meh” is Orlando Jordan. Bemusement at other wrestlers antics isn’t really a gimmick, and unless he starts showing some personality over and above that hair, he’s going to go exactly as far as he did in WWE… Which is actually pretty far, now that I think about it…

So once again, nothing completely offensive except the lame attempt to recreate one of the most iconic moments in wrestling history.

3.0 out of 5.0