And no, there was no recap last week. Because last week’s ECW didn’t matter. Sure, Jericho was on it, pimping the Bragging Rights pay-per-view, but the interesting thing about that was that there was no ECW match at all on the card. And now that we’ve shelved the Battle of the Sh’s we’re probably in for a complete revamping of everything, so the only thing last week’s recap would have been is me drooling all over every Jericho appearance. And no one needs that. The guys in chat are certainly sick of it. So let’s see what the Sheamus-less era of ECW brings us.

And we open right up with Tony Atlas introducing the Abraham Washington, and his guest, GM Tiffany. Can she save this waste of air time? We shall see. She has new entrance music, which doesn’t suit her current character at all, and makes me nervous for what they’re going to do to her. Washington and Atlas suck up by saying how hot she is. She points to the number of former ECW wrestlers on the teams for Bragging Rights. Washington asks where Sheamus is. Tiffany says that anyone who doesn’t want to be here, is free to leave, so tonight will be Sheamus’s one last match against Shelton. Washington asks her how her arm is, and she starts to answer, but is interrupted by William Regal.

Regal asks her one last time for an ECW championship match. Tiffany says no for like the gazillionth time. Regal starts to try to bully her, but that isn’t happening with Tiffany. She says not tonight, and maybe not ever again. She thanks the crowd for coming and hopes they enjoy the show. She leaves the stage all smiles, while Regal and Co. are not. Regal turns his attention to Abraham Washington, who backs off, but Regal decides to trash the set.

Match 1: Sheamus v. Shelton Benjamin

Well, I guess we do get something for this after all. While Sheamus is in the ring, Shelton gives an interview backstage? Okay. Shelton says Sheamus’s accusations of not measuring up may have been right, but then he rethought that and said that he’s got a parting gift before Sheamus goes to RAW. He then decides to join him in the ring.

Sheamus wrestles fairly stiffly, and he has to be pulled of Shelton, who repays the courtesy. He clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring then hits a split-legged moonsault on to Sheamus and the floor. And he actually hits it! We are so shocked, we go to commercial. When we’re back, Sheamus ‘s shoulder has become one with the ringpost, as Shelton on the outside slams his arm into the post. Shelton works the arm, and gets back into the ring for more arm work. Shelton again goes outside the ropes, but this time Sheamus runs him face first into the ring post. Shelton falls to the floor. Sheamus follows him out, and Shelton’s spine meets the ring post. Both men back in the ring, and Sheamus is pummeling Shelton with punches. He gets the knee to Shelton’s back and cranks back on it. Shelton ‘Benjamins up” and gets to a standing. Sheamus tosses Shelton into the ropes, but he comes out with a boot to Sheamus’s face. He’s on the attack again, but Sheamus stops him with a sidewalk slam. He makes the cover but only gets a two-count. Sheamus whips Shelton into the corner, and then presses his face into the mat with his foot. A knee drop, and another cover, and another two count. Back to the rest hold. Shelton again powers out, but not for long, as Sheamus tosses him backward, and gets another neck hold. Shelton one again maneuvers so he can get a few punches in. Sheamus hits the ropes again, but when he comes back, Shelton hits a quick suplex. Both men are down, and the 10 count begins. Sheamus is up first at six and he and Shelton exchange punches, slaps, and forearms. Shelton appears to win, and whips Sheamus to the corner, but Sheamus reverses. Shelton hits the corner and flies out with a cross body that just BARELY hits its target. He follows up with a clothesline, make that two, and then sends Sheamus to the corner for a splash. Shelton misses an kick, but then hits a belly to back suplex. He holds him for the pin, but Sheamus touches the ropes. Sheamus tries to … I don’t know, it’s a botched spot. They regroup, and Sheamus follows up with a kick to the jaw. He makes the cover and one, two…really? Three? Winner: Sheamus.

Well, that was underwhelming. Maybe it’s a good thing we don’t get this feud. I mean, maybe they would have worked together enough, but that finish was less than satisfying.

Rosa Mendes is backstage chattering to Gregory Helms about shopping. He’s bored. Paul Burchill and Katie Lea come up and tell Rosa to leave, which she does. Burchill wants Helms to tell his little friend the Hurricane to meet him in the ring next week.

Elsewhere, “Savannah” talks to Christian about his upcoming title match against Yoshi. He builds up Tatsu, in comparison to Regal, as being more deserving. But tonight it’s all about the match, and tonight Tatsu gets to learn how to deal with defeat.

Match 2: Christian v. Yoshi Tatsu

Yep. That’s right. Two matches. The new ring announcer manages to not botch names (again putting her way above the Bellas) but looks like she has a hard time walking in heels. They shake hands first, and then we’re on. Fairly standard opening, with back-and forth between the two. Christian has Tatsu in a headlock, but then Tatsu steps on the back of Christian’s leg, driving him slowly down, and reverses, with a headlock of his own. They do a rope exchange, which has Christian lifting Tatsu up and landing him face first on the mat. Christian hits the ropes and hits the springboard sunset flip. He makes the pin for two. Tatsu backslides Christian and gets a two count. Back to the headlocks. Christian tries to toss Tatsu out of the ring, but Tatsu holds on to the ropes. Christian has his back turned, and Tatsu comes back in after him, getting a roll up for two. They separate and stare off, so we can go to commercial.

We’re back and we’re in rest holds. Not for long. Tatsu eats an elbow as he chases Christian to the corner. Christian goes up top and Tatsu knocks him off to the floor. He waits for his moment, and vaults over the ropes for a splash, but Christian has moved. Tatsu hits the floor feet first, and awkwardly at that. Christian is back in the ring, and then he shows Tatsu how it’s done. The referee is counting and gets to eight, and Christian pins for two. Someone teach Josh Matthews something besides “lateral press.” Christian snapmares him over and applies a neck stretch. Tatsu powers up and separates, but not for long. Christian hits a back breaker over his knee and makes another pin for two. He transitions to another neck stretcher. Tatsu is back up again and takes some blows from Christian. Christian tosses him to the corner, then goes up top. He tries to go for the bulldog off the top, but Tatsu counters it. Tatsu goes up top, and hits the spinning heel kick from the top rope. Tatsu gets a pin for two. They take their time recovering, but Tatsu applies his kicks, finishing up with a drop kick. Tatsu hits the roaring elbow off the ropes, makes a cover for another two count. They get back to their feet, and Christian goes for the Killswitch. Tatsu counters, but Christian drop toe holds him to the ropes. Christian stands on top of Tatsu then leaps over to the floor for the Christian Bitch Slap. He goes up top, and hits a flying Drop kick. Back up top again, and he tries for another, but Tatsu catches the legs, and flips over to a jackknife, but still only gets a two count. Christian goes to recuperate in the corner, but Tatsu follows him in with both knees to the chest. He snapmares Christian out of the corner, and goes to follow up with a kick, but Christian dodges it. Christian hits a neckbreaker, goes for the cover, and Tatsu BARELY kicks out in time. Christian bides his time and waits for Tatsu to stand, but once he’s on his feet Tatsu attacks with a back kick to the gut. They head for the corner, and Christian again does the springboard sunset flip, but Tatsu rolls all the way out of it, and this time his kick connects. But this time, again, Christian barely kicks out in time. Tatsu goes to hit his kick finisher, but Christian dodges and tries again for the Killswitch. Tatsu pushes him off and they head to he corner. Christian hits the fulcrum, and then the flying uppercut. NOW he connects with the Killswitch, and this time we get a three count. Winner: Christian.

Christian does the cool thing and helps Tatsu up, but he’s interrupted by Kozlov and Jackson who beat the crap out of both of them. Gee, who didn’t see that coming? Regal enters the ring and directs his minions to abuse Christian further. The crowd begins a deafening “Regal Sucks” chant, which is the most engaged they’ve been the whole evening. Regal picks up the belt and talks to a semi conscious Christian. And we are out.