Speaking of trade-offs, there were quite a few of them at Extreme Rules, including a new ECW champion. (How’s that for a segue, Mr. Webmaster.) So let’s see what happens in the aftermath.

We are semi-live from , and GMtheTiffany is in the center of the ring with a mic, a chair, and two tables. No good can come of this. In addition to winning the ECW Championship, Tommy Dreamer has earned a new contract as well. So down the aisle he comes, in ‘contract signing’ garb, with the ECW belt over his shoulder. The belt is growing on me. It’s different. Tommy soaks up the cheers of the crowd. Tiffany recaps the entire storyline for us, and congratulates him on doing what he set out to do. Dreamer begins the ‘thank you fans’ speech. He had moments where even he didn’t believe this would ever happen. A random mark shout out “We believed, Tommy!” which brings cheers, and a smile from Mr. Dreamer. Tommy gets choked up and says it was the fans that made him believe, and that this happened. So he thanks the fans from the bottom of his heart, for making this the greatest highlight of his career.

He sits the mic down and he and Tiffany get to flipping papers on the contract, getting pens out, making a big show of it. So you know what’s going to happen, the question is which one comes out first? The fans start a “Tommy! Tommy!” chant, only to have it interrupted by Christian’s music, and then Christian, carrying a box of tissues. He brought them as a victory present for “Crybaby.” Christian wants to take the opportunity to thank Jack Swagger for interfering in our business so much that their match was made a triple threat match, and Christian didn’t even get pinned to lose his title. “Thanks, Swagger. You dork!” But despite losing his title, (long pause) Dreamer owes him a rematch, and Christian will regain the championship. But he wants to say from one friend to another, he’s glad he’s still here. The two shake hands, and it’s for real, with no shenanigans.

Tommy goes back to the business of picking up a pen and signing it, which apparently takes way longer in the wrestling world than anywhere else. And we are interrupted this time by the other one. Jack Swagger is at the top of the ramp, shaking his head. He can’t believe Christian is shaking Dreamer’s hand. No one is happy Dreamer is still here, especially in the TV production truck, because everyone is here to see him, not “multiple high-definition images of Fatty Dreamer’s rear end.” Besides, this business was between Christian and Swagger, not someone who’s contract technically ended the day before Extreme Rules, and his one day contract extension shouldn’t be trusted. Tiffany steps in at this point to explain, but Swagger dismisses her, calling her Blondie. (What I wouldn’t give for her to be the one to put Swagger through the table.) Swagger’s talked to his lawyer and agent, who are willing to represent Christian and take it to the Board of Directors, having Tommy Dreamer stripped of the championship. Unless Tommy wants to man-up, do the right thing, and forfeit the title. This does not compute. Dreamer can’t believe Swagger wants him to quit after everything, but Christian interrupts. He thinks Swagger’s got a point, and gets in Dreamer’s face. Dreamer should do the right thing, like Christian is about to do. Right now. Christian turns and lands two good punches on Swagger, then he and Tommy team up and toss Swagger over the ropes and out onto the floor. Tiffany bails out of the ring during this, and Dreamer grabs the contract and signs it quickly. Tommy climbs the corner, as Christian moves the two useless chairs out of the way of the table. In the meantime, what you don’t see on camera, is Christian moving the table to just the right spot, and pulling Tommy backwards so he busts through the table. Striker says it best. “Friendship takes a back seat when it’s all about the ECW Championship.”

Backstage, Tiffany is talking to random stage hand who is explaining some sort of accident. Tim (whoever that is) bumped into a light which sent it crashing towards this guy, but from out of nowhere, a guy in green pushed him out of the way. Tiffany tries to get further information, but is then distracted by Christian. She asks him why he did that with Dreamer. Christian said it was a receipt for last week’s DDT, but Tiffany said he was supposed to be Christian’s partner in the main event, but now Dreamer can’t compete. Christian asks for a singles match, but Tiffany says no dice. Christian’s new partner is Jack Swagger. Christian looks pensive.

Match 1: Tony Atlas (w/Mark Henry) v. Evan Bourne

They claim this is the first time Atlas has been in an ECW ring, but I’m not sure about that. Someone with a better memory than me, send me a U2U at the OO forums. I’m also going to go out on a limb and say that Henry interferes to cost Atlas the win as payback for next week. Let’s see if I’m right. The opening set is kind of similar to Bourne/Henry of late, with Evan trying stuff and bouncing off Atlas, although not as far as off Henry. Atlas lands a power slam early on, and the shoulder blocks Bourne off the ropes. He gets Bourne again off the ropes with an arm drag, but Bourne follows up with a dropkick to Atlas’s knee, and then another springboard dropkick off the ropes to Atlas’s head. Bourne hooks the leg for a two count. Atlas hits Bourne with an uppercut, and then a jaw breaker? Can’t tell because of bad camera angles, but it sends Bourne out of the ring at the feet of Henry. Henry puts his hands up for the referee to see he’s not interfering at all, just standing there minding his own business. Bourne keeps an eye on Henry, and then gets up on the apron. Atlas turns him around and brings him in the ring backwards with a huge slap to the chest. Another power slam, and this time, Atlas makes the pin for two. Evan Bourne is in a side headlock, but the real story is behind them, where Henry is pacing, shaking his head, and stroking his beard. Bourne gets to a ‘vertical base’ and loosens the hold with punches to Atlas’s midsection. He gets free and lands a few kicks. He gets a high knee that knocks Atlas backwards, and then does a standing moonsault for a pin, but Atlas kicks out. Quick cut to Henry pacing. Atlas lifts Bourne up for a belly-to-back suplex. He makes the pin, but now Bourne kicks out. Bourne recovers a bit and hits a weak DDT, which Atlas sells anyway. He’s a professional. He’s also laying in perfect position for the World’s Prettiest Shooting Star. Bourne nails it and makes the pin. Winner: Evan Bourne with a surprising lack of shenanigans. Okay, I was wrong.

At least, no shenanigans during the match. Milliseconds after the match ends, Henry is in the ring, and hits the World’s Strongest Slam, to show his displeasure at the outcome. Henry laughs at his handiwork, and then leaves the ring.

Match 2: Vladimir Kozlov v. Luke Hawx and Chris Lewie

Uh huh. You know what this means. One of them is actually wearing red trunks, too. Seriously, if that ends up being adopted into Standard Wrestling Lexicon, I want credit.

Backstage, and Christian is watching Swagger put on his singlet. Um, okay. The return of the Creepy Little Bastard? Anyway, neither of them are thrilled to be partners. But Swagger didn’t become an All-American American by accepting defeat. He’s a winner. Christian says, “You’re a gearbox.” Ha! Swagger continues, “I’m a winner. And you don’t have to worry about me holding up my end of the bargain tonight. Just worry about holding up yours.” The two glare some more and we take a break.

Match 3: The Hart Dynasty v. Jack Swagger/Christian

Nattie explains they are facing two former ECW Champions. The Hart Dynasty would like everyone to know the difference between former champions and future champions. And then, due to fantastic time management, we take another commercial. Finally, the opponents get to do their entrances. Christian and Swagger argue for a bit over who gets to start, but Swagger wins (or loses?) and is your legal man with DH Smith…except Christian smacks Swagger on the back right after the bell, and tags himself in. So, Christian and Smith start up, in the usual fashion. Smith is actual dominating Christian at first, and he gets Christian into the Hart corner, then tags in Tyson Kidd. Kidd attacks Christian, getting him into a neutral corner face first, then following up with punches and elbows. He whips Christian towards the other neutral corner, but Christian reverses and then Kidd is in the corner. Christian runs into Kidd’s elbow. Kidd goes to the second ropes and leaps for a double axe handle, but Christian catches his leg, and gets him over face first onto the mat. Christian hooks the leg, but Kidd kicks out. Christian gets back against the ropes close enough to his corner that Swagger can tag himself in.

Swagger gets a quick schoolboy, but Kidd is out at two. Swagger brings the amateur mat wrestling to Kidd, and Kidd is out of his element. He finally gets free and the two stare at each other for a bit. Swagger goes towards the corner as if he’s going to tag in Christian, but instead he pushes him off the apron, onto the floor. Does it count? The referee says it does. Kidd baseball slides out of the ring, missing Christian, and landing on his feet. But that’s only temporary, because Christian lands a big chop that knocks Kidd down. He tosses Kidd back in the ring, then climbs up top for a missile drop kick. Kidd is down, and Swagger begins to mock-cheer Christian for the move. Christian just stares at him, while Tyson rolls away. Swagger pushes Christian into Kidd’s spinning heel kick. Kidd slams Christian into the Hart corner, and we go to commercial.

As we return, Smith has Christian in a headlock. After a while, Christian gets to his feet, hits a few elbows to the ribs. He bounces off the ropes, but Smith catches him and goes for a very delayed vertical suplex. Smith covers for what was very close to a three-count, but not close enough. Smith tags in Kidd, who greets Christian with a kick. He tosses Christian into a neutral corner, the two exchange kicks, and then he whips Christian to the far corner. He runs in, but Christian hits the Fulcrum, wait! No he doesn’t, as Kidd blocked it. He delivers a leaping roundhouse to Christian’s back, knocking him off the ropes into the ring. Kidd pulls Christian away from the ropes, hooks the leg, but Christian gets the shoulder up. He tries again, but again Christian’s shoulder is up at two. Kidd has Christian in a headlock now. But Christian is able to power up to his feet, and hit the corner, which I suppose gives him enough leverage to get Kidd to release the hold. Christian powerslams Kidd and then steps back to go for a leaping head butt. But Kidd moves at the last minute. Kidd grabs him and hits a snap suplex. Kidd goes up top and tries to hit a Moonsault, but he misses as Christian moves just barely in time. (Nowhere as pretty as Bourne’s would have been, by the way). Both men need to make a tag, but will Christian? Swagger reaches his hand in, but it’s Christian that pulls his hand away. Instead, he tags him with the Bitchslap of Disrespect, knocking him off the apron. Although, as established earlier in the match, that counts, right?

Maybe not, because now Smith is in the ring, but Christian takes it to him nicely. For a while anyway, and then the two put together an impressive change of moves and countermoves. Smith gets him up for a power slam, but Christian slides out and looks like he wants to do a Codebreaker? But his feet sleep out, and Smith jackknifes over him for a pin, but Christian reverses it into his own seated pin. Smith gets a shoulder up on that and the two men separate. (Where, I hope I got all that right.) Christian gives Smith his very own Bitchslap of Disrespect, and then heads to the corner to smack Kidd around a bit too. Smith recovers and goes toward Christian in the corner, and tries to block the Fulcrum, but Christian hesitates just enough that the block doesn’t work. Christian hits a Tornado DDT, and the referee makes the count, one..two…no! Smith gets his shoulder up. Christian goes up top to try for the flying headbutt again. And again he doesn’t hit it as Smith rolls out of the way. Time to find a new flying move, Christian.

Smith tags in Kidd, and Christian grabs him off the ropes for the Killswitch, but Kidd gets free and shoves Christian into the corner. (I sense a theme for Kidd’s offense.) Christian back-kicks, and then springboard sunset flips Kidd for a pin. One…two…nope, Kidd kicks out. Kidd bounces of the ropes, and Christian catches him and flips him around into a neckbreaker. Another cover, and another kick out at two. Natalya is offended by this, and steps in the ring, distracting both the referee and Christian. Kidd takes the opportunity to grab Christian for a German suplex, maybe, but he counters and sets up the Killswitch again. He’s really close to the ropes, thought. Too close though because Swagger grabs his head. He turns him around and pulls him neck first onto the ropes, snapping him forward.

Kidd tags Smith in again, and the two hit the Hart Attack. DH Smith makes the cover! Winners: The Hart Dynasty

Swagger stands over Christian, berating Christian for losing, and begins to put the boots to him. The hart Dynasty sees this and Join s in. But here comes Dreamer with his Kendo stick, and he clears the ring. We are out.

Pretty good follow up. I’m willing to ignore the blatant inconsistencies in tagging rules of the main event for the post-match story. Once again, nice job, ECW.