OO: Online Onslaught Special Features (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Steve Austin, RVD, Undertaker, Triple H)

		Search OO for your favorites!

News -/- Recaps -/- Columns -/- Features -/- Reference -/- Archives -/- Interact -/- Site Info

CLICK HERE TO HELP KEEP OO ALIVE!

MAIN PAGE

NEWS
     Daily Onslaught

RECAPS
     RAW
     SmackDown!
     PPV
     NWA-TNA
     Heat
     Velocity
     Other

COLUMNS
     Obtuse Angle
     RAW Satire
     The Broad
         Perspective
     Inside the Ropes
     OOld Tyme
         Rasslin' Revue
     Circa/Dungeon
     Title Wave
     Crashing the
         Boards
     Deconstruction
     Smarky Awards
     Big in Japan
     Guest Columnists
     2 Out of 3 Falls
     Devil's Due
     The Ring
     The Little Things
     Timeline
     SK Rants
     The Mac Files
     Sq'd Circle Jerk
     TWiFW

FEATURES
     RAW vs. SD!:
         Brand Battle
     Cheap Heat
     Year in Review
     Monday Wars
     Road to WM
     Interviews

REFERENCE
     Title Histories
     Real Names
     PPV Results
     Smart Glossary
     Birthdays

ARCHIVES

INTERACT
     Message Boards
     Live Chat

SITE INFO
     Contact
     OO History

If you attend a live show, or have any other news for us, just send an e-mail to this address! We'd also love to hear from you if you've got suggestions or complaints about the site... let us have it!

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW
The Match So Nice, They Did It Twice...
Sort of.
May 5, 2009

by Firewoman
On Loan from the OOWrestling.com Forums

I should probably apologize deeply and profusely to our humble webmaster for not bothering to get the name of the hospital across from the Montgomery County fairgrounds right. I plead the fact that I know how to find exactly two things in Dayton.
The first is the site of the Dayton Celtic Festival, but all I do then is tell the Fire-car to go east towards the Guinness and Jameson’s, and it does it. The other thing I can (now) find is the fairgrounds. I can also find a number of other locations by meandering around drunkenly, like the hotel we usually stay at for the Celtic Fest (the Doubletree downtown) and that tranny bar that we went to with Gaelic Storm. That’s a story for another time. In fact, the only
time I was at any hospital in Dayton prior to that was for the birth of my goddess-daughter and I routinely got lost going to and from. So, as far as I knew, that was the same hospital that refused two helpless, innocent women a freaking bottle of water. Jerks. I should probably apologize. I’ll get right on that. [Ed. Note: I accept your apology.] But first we have an ECW Recap to get to! And they are liv-ish from Pittsburgh, PA. At this point, I must say, GO PENS! Match 1: Evan Bourne v. Tyson Kidd (w/Natalya) Curse you, WWE draft, for only giving me one Bourne/Morrison match. Oh well. Both of these guys are speedy and flippy, so I anticipate lots of that. Opening lock up gets neither of them anything. On the second go, Bourne gets a good arm drag, right into a head scissors by Kidd, which he easily gets out of. Bourne gets Kidd in a headlock, that Kidd can maneuver, but not break. Kidd gets to his feet, and pushes Bourne into the corner, forcing the referee to count. At the break, Kidd punctuates his success with a knee. Now it’s Kidd’s turn for a head lock. Bourne gets loose, and we quit with the ring psychology for a bit as Bourne runs the ropes. He fakes and then lands a drop kick on Kidd. Bourne gets a one-count, and then the two exchange positions and punches. Eventually, Kidd rolls Bourne out of the ring. Natalya distracts Bourne by, well, not really doing much of anything, but it’s not enough. As Kidd comes behind, Bourne turns around and decks him with a left. Bourne tosses Kidd into the ring, and gives Natalya a final warning to “watch herself.” Kidd tries to hit an elbow drop, but Bourne sees it coming and rolls away. Bourne goes to the corner and bounces off the second ropes, for a head scissor take down (thank you, Striker). Kidd rolls out of the ring, and Natalya encourages to get back into the ring as we go for some ads. On our return, both are back in the ring, and now we’re getting even more fun stuff. Bourne lands a spinning kick to Kidd’s head, knocking that goofy hair thing right off (I wish). He goes for another pin, but this is good for two. Evan follows Kidd as he staggers to the corner, and hits two short-arm clotheslines. He whips him to the other corner and as he follows him in, Kidd moves. Bourne apparently has a plan B, because he leaps to the second ropes, but Kidd also has a plan B, which is a nice roundhouse kick to Bourne’s left leg, knocking him off the ropes to the mat. Kidd attacks with punches, until the ref interferes. So, Kidd replaces those with footstomps until Bourne gets back to the ropes, and the ref interferes again. Kidd flips Bourne by the head, and then plants his knee into Bourne’s back, yanking back on his chin. Ouch. Bourne is able to stand and break the hold, but Kidd counters with a backslam. Bourne is able to move around for a pin, but it’s not a very good one, and Kidd kicks out. Another flip, and kick to the back, and Kidd gets another pin, but nothing. Kidd gets Bourne into a double armbar. Bourne finally gets to his feet, and runs straight towards the ring post, jamming Kidd’s head. Kidd staggers back, and Bourne follows up with a huge left. He charges Kidd, but Kidd has recovered, and flips him over into a backbreaker across his knee. Kidd goes for probably the first quality pin of the match, and Bourne kicks out at two. He drops several knees to Bourne’s back, then gets him up for a snap suplex, then floats over for another two count. Kidd pounces on Bourne’s back, and gets Bourne into a cross face. Bourne again is able to get to his feet, and with two roundhouse kicks, he breaks free. He goes for a third but Kidd catches it. Bourne is not to be thwarted though, and follows up with a knee to the chin! Nice! Bourne continues to land kick after kick. Kidd falls back to the corner, and Bourne runs after him, but eats Kidd’s boot. Kidd charges again, but Bourne dodges and then bounces off the corner for an enziguiri. Bourne goes for the pin, but Tyson is out at two. Kidd tries for a kick, which Bourne dodges, and the follows up with his own. That’s how it’s done, Kidd! Twice. And when he’s bored with the kick? He hits a leaping elbow! Bourne gets another pin, for two. Bourne runs for Kidd, but he lifts him up and over the ropes, but not to the floor. Bourne stands on the ring apron as he and Kidd exchange blows. The referee interferes, and Natalya sees her opportunity to pull Bourne’s feet from under him. But it doesn’t work! At least not the first time. The second time, however, Bourne goes down face first on the ring apron. Kidd baseball slides into Bourne, knocking him down. Kidd helps him back into the ring, and goes up to the top turnbuckle. But suddenly Natalya leaps into the ring, distracting the ref. And we see why, because Finlay has made an entrance, and uses the shillelagh to whack Kidd in the leg. Kidd falls to the mat, and rolls into perfect position for the World’s Prettiest Shooting Star Press. One…two…three. Winner (via unknown shenanigans): Evan Bourne in about 17 minutes. Jack Swagger comes out in a suit, so there’s no wrestling happening here. Josh Matthews thinks we all want to know why Swagger ruined last week’s Tommy Dreamer/Christian match (as if we have never watched wrestling before). Swagger feels it was justice because no one else should get a title match before him. Matthews asks the obvious question: Who cares who the actual champion is, since Swagger has his rematch no matter what at Judgment Day. It matters to Swagger because Christian is all talk and hype, and cheated his way to the ECW Championship. And that’s not fair. And he gives the first title match to Tommy Dreamer instead of Jack Swagger. Tommy Dreamer is not the heart and soul of ECW. Tommy Dreamer is the fat and cholesterol of ECW. And to extend the metaphor, in five weeks we get to unclog our arteries and get rid of Fatty Dreamer forever. (I really wish I made that up.) Finally Dreamer has heard enough and comes running (at a much faster pace that one Dave Batista lately, I might add) down the ramp and attacks Swagger. After some punches, Swagger bails. Dreamer insists Swagger gets in the ring, but Swagger walks to the back. Back stage, Zach Ryder, who is no longer a cool looking Edge clone, but is now rocking the Miami Vice pastels, introduces himself to GMtheTiffany. He says he is going to be the Man on ECW. GMtheTiffany says sure, you get to do just that on WWE Superstars on Thursday, against Finlay. Zach does the really annoying “woo woo woo” bit, but stops short when he realizes he’s against Finlay. Finlay may mess up his new hair (oh, could he please?) GMtheTiffany doesn’t think that’s possible, but Zach misses that she is making fun of his ridiculous amount of product. Match 2: Vladimir Kozlov v. Jesse “Red Trunks” Guilmette Uh huh. Poor Jesse. Too bad, he was kind of cute. Our condolences to his family. Kozlov says a bunch of stuff after the match. I can’t even begin to guess. Backstage, we are with New ECW Interviewer Gregory Helms, who is with Mark Henry and Tony Atlas. Helms asks if this match is to restate Henry’s dominance. Henry says his dominance doesn’t need restating. Christian might be the ECW Champion. But tonight? He’s Mark Henry’s victim. Oky doke. Match 3: Christian v. Mark Henry (w/Tony Atlas) Henry is easily able to deal with the opening lock up, knocking Christian right on his ass. For the second attempt, Christian ducks, and then follows up with four punches to the face when Henry turns around. He hits the ropes, dodges two clothesline, then runs right into Henry’s boot. Twice. Henry begins his pummeling. He gets Christian up into a lateral press, and lets him drop, then covers for two. He pulls Christian up by his head, and throws him into the corner. He lumbers in, and Christian gets both feet up to Henry’s face. This knocks him back a little, but not much, as he lumbers in again. It does give Christian time to set up the Fulcrum (or as Striker is now calling it, a Pendulum kick) which drives him back again. Christian leaps up to the second rope and tries for a sunset flip. Everyone watching knows this is a bad idea. He can’t get Henry over, and Henry goes to just drop his butt right down on Christian, but Christian moves, so nobody is home. Christian drop kicks Henry into the ropes (in perfect 619 position), and then leaps onto his back, choking him on the rope. Then, just as luck would have it, Swagger comes out of nowhere and pulls Christian off Henry. Swagger leaps onto Christian and starts left and right punches, and the referee has no choice. Winner via DQ: Christian in about 5 minutes, max. Swagger doesn’t stop for the bell (what with it not being part of a match anyway), and Dreamer comes down to make the save. Dreamer pummels Swagger, and then he and Christian both clothesline Swagger out of the ring. At this point GMtheTiffany comes to the top of the ring, and says, since there are four people out there, let’s have a tag team match! Right now! Or at least, after the commercial. Match 3a: Christian/Dreamer v. Henry/Swagger We rejoin the match in progress. Christian leaps from the turnbuckle with an elbow to Swagger, and he goes for a pin. Swagger kicks out, and Christian tags in Dreamer. Christian whips Swagger into the ropes, and drop toe holds him. Dreamer criss-crosses them, and then after the toehold, drops an elbow. He rolls Swagger over and gets a two-count. Tommy hits a flying clothesline on Swagger as Henry looks on, and pins Swagger for one. Tommy goes for the ropes one too many times, as Swagger catches him and body slams him. Swagger crawls towards the corner, and tags in Henry. Henry puts the boots to Dreamer, then begins his Patented Pummeling Offense. He gets Dreamer into a neck-stretch, then tires of that and pushes him backwards. He rolls Dreamer over onto his back, and stands on his chest. The referee makes him break at four. He kicks Dreamer over to his own corner, and tags in Swagger. Swagger gets him in a reverse headlock. But it’s really kind of stupid, because it’s giving Dreamer all kinds of leverage to just slowly power towards his own corner to tag in Christian. He gets close, but Swagger flips them both over and onto the mat. Both men get back to their feet, but Swagger still has the hold locked in. But Dreamer gets some footing, and is able to lift Swagger up and over. Dreamer reaches for Christian. Swagger tries to pull him back, but Dreamer kicks him and then lunges to make the tag. Christian comes in just as Swagger gets to his corner to tag in Henry. Didn’t we just see this? Christian attacks with punches and forearms. Christian bounces off the ropes and Henry catches him. He lifts him overhead, but Christian slides off and chop-blocks Henry’s knee. Henry falls to one knee, and Christian knocks him down further with a kick. He goes for the pin, but Henry easily gets a shoulder up. Swagger looks like he’s thinking about interfering, so Christian kicks him off the apron. I totally support that. He turns into a clothesline from Henry, though. Henry tags in Swagger. Swagger pins Christian, but it’s with a knee to the throat, so the referee counts. Swagger gets Christian up and into a double reverse chickenwing. Christian manages to work his way loose enough to do multiple head butts to Swaggers chest. This basically pisses Swagger off, so he shoves him straight into the heels’ corner. At that point, my stupid DVR cut off, because apparently WWE got an overrun, and didn’t send me a memo. According to the fine folks at another site… Winner: Mark Henry and Jack Swagger

VIEW FIREWOMAN"S OO FORUMS PROFILE
BROWSE THE OO FEATURES ARCHIVE

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 02/01

PPV: WWE Royal Rumble PPV 2010

OO: Royal Rumble PPV Preview and More

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 01/29

TNA IMPACT: By Any Other Name...

RAW SATIRE: Coal (Miner's Glove) Power!

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 01/25

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 01/22

TNA IMPACT: The Orlando Screwjob?

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 01/19

RAW SATIRE: Needs More Kristen Bell!

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 01/18

OOTRR: Badd Blood 2004 Re-Revued

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 01/15

TNA IMPACT: Waging a New Monday Night War?

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 01/12

RAW SATIRE: Tyson Likes 'Em Tiny

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 01/11

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 01/08

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 01/05

RAW SATIRE: A Dimensional Cross-Rip?

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 01/04

OO: Monday Night War Resumes and Lots More

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 01/01

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 12/29

RAW SATIRE: Selective Memory

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW12/28

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 12/25

RAW SATIRE: Santas Love Damon!

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 12/22

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 12/21

RAW SATIRE: A Fish Out of Water

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 12/18

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 12/14

PPV: WWE TLC 2009 Recap

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 12/11

OO: TLC PPV Preview

RAW SATIRE: Pretty Fly for White Boys

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 12/08

OO NEWSFLASH: Umaga, Dead at 36

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 12/07

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 12/04

RAW SATIRE: The Bourne Identity Theft

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 12/01

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 11/30

RAW SATIRE: Going Rouge for Real!

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: SmackDown, 11/27

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: ECW, 11/24

PPV RECAP: WWE Survivor Series 2009

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW: RAW, 11/23

OO: Hogan in TNA, Shane in UFC?, and MORE!

OO: What I'll Remember About Chris Benoit

NEWS CENTRAL: All Updates About Benoit Tragedy

Click Here

All contents are Copyright 1995-2009 by OOWrestling.com. All rights reserved.
This website is not affiliated with WWE or any other professional wrestling organization. Privacy Statement.