We start with MVP and Shelton. Shelton does some nice amateur moves to take control. Shelton 

Back, and Henry has MVP in a bear hug. He tosses him into the heels’ corner and tags in Shelton. Shelton restholds MVP with his knees to the back, pulling him by the chin. MVP gets turned around to get out of that. MVP gets totally loose, and bounces off the ropes and somehow someone flubs a move, but I can’t tell who. Maybe it was just a bad camera angle on a knee to the midsection. Anyway, MVP is down. Shelton sizes him up as MVP struggles to stand. He leaps at MVP who pushes him away. He leaps at him again, and MVP gets up and over in an overhead belly-to-belly throw (thank you, Matt Striker). We begin the corner crawl, and MVP gets there first, bring Christian in a house o’ fire. He dominates Benjamin, dodges a high spinning kick, and then hits Shelton with a neckbreaker. Pin, but Shelton kicks out. While Shelton is recuperating, Christian bitchslaps Henry. Ha! Shelton staggers to the corner and Christian monkey-flips him to the center of the ring. But Shelton is still on his feet. Christian again hits the corner and sunset flips Shelton as he runs after him, for a two count. Shelton takes control, but not for long. Finally, we have a name for that kicky thing Christian does between the ropes, as he lands the Fulcrum on Shelton. He hits a crappy DDT, and goes for the cover, but Mark Henry comes in to break it up. This brings in MVP who drives Henry back, before Henry manages to toss him out of the ring. Christian slides out after his partner. They each grab a leg, and pull Mark Henry so he falls face first. They pull him out of the ring, and MVP continues to punch on him. Christian gets back into the ring, distracted momentarily by Tony Atlas, but then turns his attention back to where it belongs. But it’s too late, as Shelton grabs him for a DDT (Paydirt?) One, two, three, we’re done! Winner: Shelton Benjamin/Mark Henry.

Finlay is WALKING~! down the Hallway, looking for Hornswoggle. He runs into DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox who have not seen Hornswoggle.

I can’t tell you how happy I am about this. We start out and Jamie goes for the injured angle (supposedly). The two put on a flippy classic, as we cut to Tyson Kidd and Natalya who are watching, and thus interrupting my enjoyment of Bourne’s return. It’s not a complete squash, as Jamie gets some offense, including a very nice throw of Bourne into the ropes. He puts the boots to Bourne, and then after he’s up, pulls him into a clothesline. He goes for a pin, but Evan’s up. Jamie gets Bourne into a cobra clutch, cranking back on his back. But Bourne gets out of it, and lands a VERY nice leaping kick to Jamie’s face. Jamie is by the ropes, and Evan bounces off the far ones, leaps, bounces off the ropes and gets Jamie with a hurricanrana that Striker is calling the Rewindrana. Standing moonsault for the pin, and Jamie kicks out at two. The two trade some kicks, but eventually Noble is down and out in the right position! Shooting star press and yes! One-two-three! Winner: Evan Bourne.

Backstage, and Finlay has found Hornswoggle who is in a food fight with Katie Lea Burchill. Finlay drags Hornswoggle away.

Swagger comes to the ring in street clothes, and he has a microphone. As a service to everyone, he’s just coming out so we can see him, as he’s not wrestling tonight. And, he holds up the belt, and that’s pretty much it.

Because we had to save time for Teddy the leprechaun talking to Tiffany about a special promotion. It’s one night devoted entirely to the divas to promote the Divas Battle Royale at Wrestlemania 25. And like, it’s never been done before (except, I think it has?). But before they can decide these things, Paul Burchill comes storming in with Katie Lea, and demands a match with Finlay because of Hornswoggle. He, of course, gets it.

Striker gives a summary of the story of St. Patrick, and then reminds us all that there were not any actual snakes on the island of Ireland. Pat drove paganism out, but I can tell you, he wasn’t all that successful at it. *Wink* And if they bill this as any kind of England v. Ireland thing I’ll have to throw something at my television.

Finlay starts off with lots of power moves, European uppercuts, and foot stomps. Backbreaker on Burchill, and Finlay goes for the pin, but Paul kicks out. Everyone is distracted then by Hornswoggle, who is on top of the announce table. He wants the headset. Finlay goes over to tell him to get down, and you’d think that would be a distraction for him, but he can tell Burchill is coming up behind him. He tosses Burchill up and over the ropes to the floor. Finlay follows him out, pulls Hornswoggle down, and goes over to Burchill. Burchill is miraculously recovered, and punches Finlay a few times. Both men back in the ring, and Burchill continues his offense. Burchill gets him into a chinlock. Finlay gets standing and then drops down, with a jawbreaker on Burchill. He recovers, and knocks Finlay out of the ring. He goes to leap out after him, but Finlay pulls the ring apron out and Burchill racks himself on it. He sells it like it’s not just a piece of fabric between his legs. Finlay tosses him back in and then hits two clotheslines. Some more back and forth, and then Burchill runs at Finlay to try to set him up for a DDT, but he just bounces off. Finlay grabs him, and sets up the Celtic Cross. He hits it and gets the pin. Winner: Finlay

Back from commercial and Miz and Morrison are in the ring with the Bella Twins for the Dirt Sheet. Morrison knows where they get the expression “Everything’s fatter in Texas.” Miz wants to know why they have chosen them over the Colon’s. Twin B says it’s because they like winners. They replay the most recent win over Primo and Carlito. As I come dangerously close to recapping a recap, Miz and Morrison welcome their guests, the Colons. They put on black afro wigs and butt face masks. Lovely. They do a rap song, but then they are interrupted by the real Carlito and Primo. They are not amused. They are there for a very special edition of Carlito’s Cabana, with Miz and Morrison as their guests. Primo issues them a special challenge. At Wrestlemania, the tag team titles will all be on the line, and the winners will unify the tag team championships! Miz and Morrison agree. Carlito goes to do the apple spit just as Morrison and Miz hit their “Be jealous” line, but they duck and Twin A gets apple in the face. Twin B is laughing hysterically as Carlito tries to apologize. Twin A is mad, and pushes Twin B down! Oh no she didn’t! Twin B gets up, and then tackles Twin A. The two go at it and are separated by their respective tag teams. Now each team has a Bella!