by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

Your choice...

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

• Johnny Stamboli and Sean O'Haire beat two jobbers in dark matches
• 3 Minute Warning beat 2 jobbers
• Spike Dudley beat Rico
• Christian beat Maven
• Goldust beat Steven Richards

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• In Dark Matches, Funaki beat a jobber, and Nathan Jones beat Kanyon
• Jamie Noble beat a jobber
• Redd Dogg beat Chavo Guerrero (both John Cena and Eddie Guerrero got involved)
• Torrie Wilson beat Dawn Marie
• Nunzio upset Chuck Palumbo

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• A-Train scored an upset win (in the sense that it makes all sensible fans upset) over Rey Mysterio in the show opener
• Paul Heyman mentions that Big Show is not here tonight, and thus won't be able to answer the Undertaker's challenge
• Eddie Guerrero managed a win over John Cena in a match that saw both Redd Dogg and Chavo interfere; notable for how over Eddie was as a babyface and how over Cena was as a heel.  [One report also notes that WWE has revived the "Cheat to Win" t-shirt for the Guerreros!]
• Undertaker arrived at the building backstage, and makes a fruitless demand to see the Big Show.
• Billy Kidman beat Shannon Moore; after the match, a disappointed Matt Hardy banishes his MF'er from the ring and destroys Kidman
• Backstage: Vince tells Stephanie that he's got a bombshell of his own tonight.
• Backstage: Paul Heyman is asked what how he responds to Taker's challenge to Big Show.  Heyman winds up tricking nearby Shawn-Michaels-trained Brian "Spanky" Kendrick into playing a sacrificial lamb.
• Vince McMahon hits the ring, and after typical heelish rambling, he announces that he has arranged for a match with Hulk Hogan... but it won't be Vince he's facing.  No, it'll be The Rock.  The Rock joins in "via satellite" at this point, and says, yes, it'll be the Rock vs. Hogan at No Way Out.  He claims that he's doing it for the fans and not for Vince, but he does let some heelish comments slip into his normal shtick.  Said to be a way more effective taped piece by the Rock compared to RAW-X.
• Bill DeMott "got his heat back" by avenging last week's loss with a win over Rikishi.
• Undertaker storms the ring, and both DeMott and Riskishi get lost, pronto.  Taker starts launching into an anti-Big Show thing when he's interrupted by "Spanky" -- in a messanger outfit -- who delivers a singing telegram from Big Show about how he's sorry he's not there to kick Taker's ass.  Taker seems to see the humor in this, and tells Spanky he likes the kid's guts.  Taker tips him, and asks to hear the song again.  Spanky gets two lines into it when Taker kicks him and leaves him laying with a Last Ride.
• Backstage: Kurt Angle delivers a pep talk to Team Angle, who have a #1 Contenders match against Edge and Chris Benoit.
• Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin beat Benoit and Edge to become the #1 Contenders to Los Guerreros' tag titles.  Kurt was out on commentary for the match, but wound up getting involved at about the 8 minute mark.  It was only after Angle whacked Benoit in the head with his WWE Title belt that Benjamin was able to pin him.  Team Angle celebrated their win in a match that wound up being really good after a slow start.  Then they decided to do a little 3-on-2 against Benoit and Edge, only to be interrupted by Brock Lesnar, who wound up laying out Angle after Team Angle brawled to the back against Edge and Benoit.  [The last bit with Lesnar may or may not air as part of SD!, as 2 reports suggested it was just the post-show bonus for the live crowd...  but if so, it'd mean that Lesnar would be invisible for the duration of the 2 hour broadcast.]

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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