by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

The rest of you, we'll start with the other weekend WWE shows before moving on to SD!.  Here are results, as compiled from e-mail reports:

WWE Sunday Night Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

• Rico beat a jobber
• Molly beat Jacqueline
• Maven beat Chris Nowinski
• Christian beat Spike Dudley

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• Chavo Guerrero beat Funaki
• Chuck Palumbo beat a jobber
• Jamie Noble beat a jobber
• Billy Kidman retained the Cruiserweight Title with a DQ win over Matt Hardy (Matt shoved the ref)

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

[The following is a detailed on-site report from OO Reader Scott Isaacs.  Our thanks to him.]

Just got back from the Pepsi Arena in Albany...

 

The big news, of course, is that Steph's big surprise turned out to be the Hulkster, sans fake black beard.  He got a ten minute standing ovation before he finally started talking.  The crowd ate it up.  He talked about how he signed a new contract and was ready for one final journey with his Hulkamaniacs.  Of course, that brought out Vince.  He said if that was Steph's big surprise, he's disappointed.  Said Hulkamania and Al Wilson have one thing in common- they're dead.  Hulk then said there's one WWE superstar that he wants to get in the ring with first.  And guess who that is?  Hulk lays out Vince with a punch and leaves.  That's probably where the show ends.  Vince then got on the stick and said "You want to crap on me?  I'll crap back!  This is the last WWE event this shitty town will ever see!"  Then he left, and the lights came up.

 

Other results:

 

Show starts with Steph promising a huge surprise you won't want to miss.

 

Chris Benoit d. Charlie Haas with a rollup.  I couldn't believe this match- it was all Haas, and it was long.  You'd think they'd let the guy that almost won the title on Sunday dominate, but I guess they need to keep Team Angle strong.  Team Angle does have new, matching warmup suits.  Haas also had a modified version of Angle's theme (different than the Anthology version), but it was not used later for Shelton Benjamin (likely because it doesn't work with the You Suck! chant).

 

Red Dog d. Bull Buchanan via submission to the Fujiwara Armbar.  Cena's rap included references to Right to Censor and the Truth Commission.  Very funny.  Post-match, the Guerreros came in, and promised some "Chicanics" to counter-act the "Thugenomics."  Funny, yet slightly racist stuff (from Cena)... Guerreros ran off Cena and the "Notorious D-O-G" with chains.

 

Rikishi d. Bill DeMott with the Banzai Splash onto DeMott's injured arm.  DeMott was wearing a cast.  I was at the Rumble on Sunday and saw the cane shot that likely broke a bone.  Pretty nasty.  Match, of course, sucked.

 

Undertaker demanded Big Show face him in the ring.  Instead the Big Show sent out the A-Train...

 

Undertaker d. A-Train via submission to the Dragon Sleeper.

I swear, this match did not suck!  A-Train kicked out of the chokeslam, blocked the Last Ride, and delivered a Baldo Bomb.  But UT kicked out and locked in the Sleeper for the win.

 

The same Nathan Jones spot from Monday.

 

Brock Lesnar came out and gave a terrible interview.  He misspoke a lot.  Basically ran through his accomplishments and promised to beat Kurt Angle at WM 19.  Would have been better served with a video package.

 

Edge d. Shelton Benjamin clean with the spear.  You will want to see the kick Benjamin delivered AFTER Edge blocked the Superkick.  Benjamin spun around in midair and delivered a spin kick.  Awesome move.

 

Kurt Angle reamed out Shelton and Charlie for being losers, and promised to lead by example.

 

Matt Hardy told Shannon to prove himself against Nunzio.  After Shannon left, Matt told Nunzio to teach Shannon a lesson in Mattitude.  Nunzio promised a "family lesson."

 

Nunzio d. Moore via the flying single arm DDT.  OK match.

 

Kurt Angle d. Rey Misterio with a move that has to been seen to be believed.  Great match that featured Kurt taking almost all of Rey's offense.  The finish involved Kurt flipping Rey over his head so Rey's head hit the turnbuckle, then Kurt felt back, German Suplexing Rey, and folding him up for the 1-2-3.  Cool move.

 

Lower bowl of the arena was filled.  The black screens they put up for hockey were up... a few people were sitting in the front rows of the upper deck.  Crowd was enthusiastic for the Undertaker and Hogan.  They really gave it to Angle and Vince.

 

Should be a good show on TV... although some things will need to be cut because the Hogan ovation really went long. 

 

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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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