by Rick Scaia
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

As is always the case, if you don't want TV results for the rest of the week spoiled, this is your chance to opt-out.  Just hit BACK and find something else to read.

For the rest of you, I have these tapings results, as compiled from e-mail reports:

WWE Heat
(Taped Monday, Airs Sunday)

• Sean O'Haire beat Johnny Stamboli (might have been dark match)
• Jacqueline beat Victoria
• Goldust beat Steven Richards
• Shelton Benjamin beat Shawn Stasiak
• Spike Dudley got a win over Raven, when Raven was distracted by D'Lo Brown

WWE Velocity
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Saturday)

• Billy Kidman defeated Albert
• Funaki continued to "big men get upset" trend with a pinfall win over Mike Awesom
• John Cena beat Chavo Guerrero Jr.

WWE SmackDown!
(Taped Tuesday, Airs Thursday)

• Rey Mysterio beat Chuck via pinfall after taking a bit of a beating for most of the match.  But the real story was after the match, when Chuck got down on a knee, presented Billy with a ring, and asked if Billy would be his "partner for life."  Billy accepted, and apparently, we'll get some sort of ceremony next week...
• Jamie Knoble finally handed Shannon Moore a loss, pinning him in a non-Cruiserweight Title match.
• Backstage: D-Von complains to Steph about Billy and Chuck getting married, and how it's all immoral and stuff.  Steph tells him (a) he'd better be at the wedding next week, and (b) he'd better get ready for Batista later tonight.
• Mark Henry beats Tajiri.  [Why can't the little guys upset the big stiffs on SD! like they do on Velocity?]
• Backstage: Randy Orton interrupts a Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar pep talk, while Edge, Rikishi, and Rey Mysterio play Maj-Jong (Edge wins).
• Brock Lesnar dispatched Randy Orton with all due haste, and was pretty over with the crowd.  Pinfall win via F-5.
• Backstage: Undertaker and Brock Lesnar went face-to-face during a live contract signing for their match at Unforgiven.  Words, words, words, blah, blah, blah...
• Batista beat his mentor D-Von quite convincingly, with a powerbomb finisher.
• Backstage:  Knoble and Nidia are talking about Billy and Chuck, when Nidia asks when she might get married, causing Knoble to do a comical double take.
• Crash Holly's SD! debut took the form of a surprise victory over the Hurricane (a school boy roll-up out of nowhere).  After the match, they did the handshake of mutual respect.
• Backstage: Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle were commisserating about last week together, and Angle started making fun of Chris Benoit for some reason.  And Benoit walked in right in the middle of this and started getting physical with Angle before it was broken up.
• Backstage 2: Matt Hardy is reviewing tape of his ass-kicking at the hands of Lesnar (w/ Shannon Moore).  He says he's keeping his chin up and learning from the loss, and promises to do better. He's interrupted by Bob Holly, who issues a challenge for RIGHT NOW.
• Bob Holly pinned Matt Hardy with a handful of tights.  After the match, Matt threw a Christain-caliber tempter tantrum...
• A planned six-man tag main event almost got underway early, as the heel duo of Angle/Benoit (teaming up with Eddie) began arguing once they were in the ring.  Edge, Rikishi, and Undertaker eventually made it out, however, and the six-man was on.  Edge was the babyface-in-peril for most of the match, until the heels fell apart:  Angle and Benoit wound up brawling at ringside, leaving Eddie by himself in the ring.  Eddie took a spear from Edge, then got shoved into Rikishi's ass, all before Taker finished it up with a chokeslam.
• For post-show hijinx, the heels all powdered out, and Edge celebrated on the stage for a bit.  Then Rikishi came out, but didn't have his hat.  So Taker brought that out, and there was a celebratory dance.

Check out the shows as they air throughout the week, or at least be sure to come on back to OO for our coverage and analysis of key events....

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
BROWSE THE OO ARCHIVES

Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH.  He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.

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