by Kyle Maxwell
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

The "Which of these fans had the most to drink before posting" award!

Yeah. After all, he was only a member of the Wolf Pac, friends with Hall and Nash, and was told he "couldn't cut it in the nWo" by Hogan. What the hell was the Fed thinking?
One can only imagine the bizarre thought process that led to X-Pac replacing Hogan in the NWO.
-Wrestling Historian Phillip S.

Wait a second. I thought he was getting "the Goldberg Push".
And get Lesnar off of my TV screen ASAP if you aren't going to do anything with him.
-Phillip S. again, reminding me why I hate the Torch

Okay, which is it?
The Rock is and never will be Hogan.
-April C., who is and never will be a Torch reader

Has bad what?
Angle acting cool was great, but then again I don't think anything he has bad.
-Brian S.

And the winner is:
Torch reader Jordan Castro, who said:
"Rock is a character that was created as a foil to Austin." - Jordan Castro
Let's give it up for Jordan, who apparently never realized that rubbing alcohol is not for human consumption!

The "Let's feel sorry for the guy making six million a year for saying "what?" a lot award!

And I thought Scott Keith had an ego problem...
Now, look, there are several ways in which one may disqualify oneself from holding a reasonable opinion in this discussion, and your most recent batch of reader feedback on the subject [of Austin's tantrum about jobbing to Scott Hall] managed to hit just about all of 'em."
-Rich P, another Torch reader that believes his is the only opinion sanctioned by Allah

"We?" Is Rich the Queen of England now?
"We shouldn't run any more purely opinion/speculative pieces on Stone Cold's current situation from people"
-Rich P again, simultaneously placing himself on the Torch's staff whilst suggesting that only he should be allowed to write letters to the Torch.

Yeah! Except for Kurt Angle. And Hulk Hogan. And Triple H. And quite possibly David Arquette.
"name the other stars who are at all similar in impact and success to Austin, and after you mention The Rock, you'll shut the hell up. Because that is it."
-Rich P, voice of all America

Every indication is that the Torch is clueless. Nobody who works for the Torch or who is familiar with the Torch has a clue.
"Every single indication is that this is not a work. Nobody who works for the WWF who is familiar with the backstage happenings in recent weeks believes it's a work."
-Wade Keller, citing his ever present 'unnamed sources' that the Austin Tantrum is indeed a Shoot.

Of course, Austin missed two years, but let's not quibble over details...
"Austin deserves the strap, not Triple "Miss almost a year but still is higher than Austin in the rankings" H."
-Tavares W, the Torch

Just like Alec Baldwin "Left the country" when Bush won the election.
Well, I actually may tune out of WWF programming until Steve Austin comes back."
-Mike H

And the winner is:
Jordan Castro, for not only resurrecting the long-dead "Triple H politics" cliche, but also confusing Steve Austin with Tom Cruise:
"Stone Cold Steve Austin is entitled to not want to deal with Triple H's politics and NWO nepotism because he has worked harder than anybody to become the biggest box office draw ever." - Jordan Castro
Give it up for Jordan, winning two in a row!


The Dueling Smarks award: Scott Keith vs Chris Hyatte!

It's ironic that a guy with Alzheimer's makes so many jokes about the nWo being "Old"...
"Flair comes out for pick #2: The nWo. How does THAT work, exactly? I don't recall "three guys with one pick" being in Linda's little speech at the beginning.'"
-Scott Keith, apparently forgetting that he himself had recapped Vince announcing that the NWO would be drafted as a unit mere days before.

I give. Goldberg's?
"Well guess whose back.... bitch."
-Chris Hyatte, who apparently can't distinguish between "who's" and "whose".

I dunno Scott, maybe he was feeding the homeless during his time off.
"And kudos to X-Pac for innovating new ways to get a main-event push without doing jackshit for anyone in the past two years."
-Scott Keith

You forgot "sucking".
"I've been away for a while... 5 months exactly. Last you heard from me, I was "flaking out"... "going nuts"... "having a breakdown""
-Chris Hyatte

...which is still no where near as long as Scott's 'crappy column' streak...
"[Vince will give] Taker a shot at HHH at Backlash, which should be another notch on HHH's crappy match streak."
-Scott Keith

I wondered how guys without girlfriends spend their time.
"I swear, I jack off more to one episode of Dismissed then I do with an entire night's worth of the Spice Channel."
-Chris Hyatte

And the winner is:
Scott Keith, for this hilarious bit of humor:
"Elsewhere, 'Vince thinks that tonight the nWo makes a statement. "We're old". Ha, I kill me. Vince has arranged for the nWo to be drafted as a unit.

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