Was it Chavo or Hector? Is it Eddy or Eddie? Is Bradshaw a nice guy? And does the Rock's wife know about him and Trish Stratus? All this and more as we dive in to this week's edition of... The Smarkies!

I've got it! Let's start two other companies. We'll call them "WCW" and "ECW". Then if they go out of business, we'll know that people prefer the WWF!
Corey B, Torch Subscriber wrote: "The current WWF way is too stale and predictable (S) It would be nice if fans were given a true alternative, and let the ratings decide what people like best."

Oh, I don't know. My money is still on "That's Just Incredible."
They're gonna sell a million of those "What" t-shirts, if only because it's the most annoying catch phrase in history." - Bruce Mitchell, Torch Columnist.

SWM seeking SWF, must be into Nintendo, Pokemon, and ramming your face at high speeds into other women's genitals. Call before 8, because my bedtime is 8:30.
"S the highlight of the night was seeing Rock and Trish do the Wazzz Up spot to the Dudley's and especially Stacy. Who wouldn't like to drive their heads into Stacy crotch! And it was every man's dream to see Trish's head in Stacy's crotch." Roades Scholar and all around Gentleman Aaron L, via the Torch.

I was upset too, but you don't see ME giving up my pointless and bitter attacks on the wrestling community!
HonkeyTonk Man discontinued his web site, citing the return of Ric Flair and Jerry Lawler to Wrestling Television.

The Truth? You CAN'T HANDLE the Truth!
Eric Szulczewski, 411wrestling columnist wrote: "Yeah, go report me to the FBI like some of you threatened to. I don't have anything to fear from them or from Military Justice Tribunals. I'll keep telling the truth until they pull my keyboard out of my cold dead hands, and if you can't take it, that's your problem."

I'm already up to Reason #6,325, and I haven't even STARTED on his personal hygiene.
In a radio interview, former WCW/WWF Referee Billy Silverman said: "I don't know if people know what happened with Buff Bagwell. He is a phenomenal performer. Why wouldn't you want him working for you?"

I quit Guns n' Roses back in '96 for exactly the same reason.
When asked why he finally quit the WWF, Silverman responded: "I was forced to bring liquor on a tour."

Look Lance, let's make a deal. I won't Job to Tajiri, and you stop mocking the Torch.
Lance Storm posted an article on his web site complaining about Smarks in general and the Torch in specific.

That'll teach us.
Commenting on an episode of Raw that featured a "Vengeance" ad touting Triple H, Torch reader Bill D. opined, "Also, I hope Triple H doesn't return until the Royal Rumble just to throw off all you out there who think they know everything and assume he'll be at Vengeance."

I've never understood people calling him "The Rock", since I've read his book and know his real name is Duane Johnson.
"I didn't understand Rock kissing Trish, given that so many fans have read his book and know he's married." - Eric K., Torch Reader

Awards To My Faithful Readers
You wouldn't believe what I get in my mailbox. No, wait, maybe you would. After all, you're the people sending the mail.

Next you'll be telling me it was Hector!
"I think it was Gory in the Gobbledygooker costume." Llakor, via the net, commenting on my "Gobbledygooker" reference from last week.

Next you'll be telling me it was Juventud!
"I'm pretty sure it was Hector." Edge 42, via the net.

That's okay, the WWF can't even spell Eddy's FIRST name correctly.
"(you) can't spell 'Guerrero'." - Llakor, continuing his vicious assault.

That makes one personal insult, three ideas for Scott Keith jokes, and one hundred eighty-five requests for a link to the "Stacey Carter Performing Oral Sex" photos.
"You sure seem like a bitter one, who lets it spill over into your writing. Not that that is a bad thing...." Justin, via email

Well friends, that's it for this week. Stand by next week for a special Holiday Edition!