by Moses Gates
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

HHH is back!   Unfortunately, I think he's left some of his hair behind.   As a man who's own hair is starting to thin on top, I can say that HHH's hair definitely isn't on par with its Slammy Award winning days anymore.

Well, I had a wonderful time in London.   I also hit Brussels where I made at least one other contributor to this site green with envy by visited the museum of comic art (come on, if you were a REAL online wrestling fan you'd get the reference.   I'll give you a hint – Tintin is Belgian) and was in Paris for the changing of the Euro on New Year's Day.   Other Parisian highlights include getting a picture of me giving the Eiffel Tower the finger and asking several storeowners if they had any EuroDisney T-Shirts.   To my utter dismay, not ever the freaking Disney Store had any.     

However, nowhere I stayed had the SkySports channel, so in addition to missing the live SmackDown! Jan. 3rd (just three Subway stops from my apartment damn it!), I missed another SmackDown! and two RAWs (one was the New Year's Eve show though), and therefore have only last Monday's RAW to comment on.   But there's more than enough stuff there.

Dyed blond hair  - Love it.   I think both Test and Billy Gunn have lightened up their hair, which is OK, but the big dye job is of course Chuck Palumbo.   I would rather see the "Jungle Boy" style curls instead of the stringy look, but I definitely applaud the color.   He might want to make it a little lighter to match Billy Gunn's though.

New "quick zoom in and out" effect during the pre-match promo graphics – Love it.   It's got to be the last added effect though.   You can't have pre-match promo graphics get too complicated.  

Booker T's new tights (the white ones with "Booker T" across the back) – Hate them.   Note to Booker – DON'T WEAR WHITE.   It's really not your color.   I think yellow would be a good color for the Book.   Actually, I think Booker would look good in a yellow suit (not bright yellow, more of a mustard color), but maybe not in yellow tights.   Better stick with the blue ones.

HHH's new shirt – Torn.   He gets a new shirt shirt his first day back?   Dig the small skull and crossbones on the back, but don't really like the Red Baron thing on the front.

Undertaker's "Deadman Inc." knit hat – torn.   On one hand I'm a big fan of new styles of merchandise (I think that's the first knit hat I've seen from the WWF).   On the other hand that hat is really stupid.   Undertaker seems to be suffering from the Kevin Nash syndrome of not realizing that you can't be hip and cool if you're a 40 year old white guy.   Well, Taker LOOKS like he's 40.

In case you missed it (all from last night's RAW).   Final Fantasy X is now bringing you the Slam of the Week – Greyhound is now bringing you the "Overdrive of the night" – Bossman is back to his "Demolitions Expert" gear – Rikishi has a blue "Rikishi" on his belt now, as well as a tattoo on his inner arm (although he might have had that for a while) – Show's shirt said "Strongarm Sports" – although the announcers referred to him as "Chuck," Mr. Palumbo's headband actually referred to him as "Chucky" – Cole has (thank God) lost the frosted blond highlights in his hair (perhaps recovering from his own case of Kevin Nash syndrome) – Stone Cold tossed 24 people over the top rope – Tazz in Seattle is back!   They must have fixed the lingering smoke problem – Chris Jericho wore the WCW belt over his right shoulder and the WWF belt over his left shoulder for the first time I can remember.

Also a couple of things I'm not quite sure of.   Terri looks like she got another boob job - I think HHH missed his cue to pose and spit (although with the length of that entrance it might have been on purpose) – I'm pretty sure Jazz is the only WWFer currently wearing an eyebrow ring (Billy Gunn had one but I don't think he wears it anymore) – I think Booker T has a new "Can you dig it…Sucka?!" graphic on his TitanTron video.

By the way, did everyone hear that face pop for Booker at MSG (and the chant along with "Can you dig it…Sucka?!")?   This greatly supports my long-standing personal theory that the crowd is going to turn Booker eventually (think the Rock's 1998 turn), as NYC and Philly fans are generally the trendsetters.

Since I promised a "little things" comparison between the American and British WWF and didn't deliver, I thought I'd at least try to give you consolation prize.   So for all you other uncultured American louts out there, here are a few little differences between Her Majesty's Kingdom and the good old USA.   I already knew they drove on the wrong side of the road and went to the "loo," but here are some I didn't know.

You don't go to the "Exit" to leave a building or a Subway station, you go to the "Way Out" – You wash the dishes with "Washing Up Liquid" – You change a baby's "Nappy" – At Micky D's you can order for here or for "Take Away" – Going to a play is cheaper than going to a movie – You can put "Tomato Ketchup" on your fries (chips) along with French Mustard, English Mustard, Brown Sauce, Mayonnaise, and a bunch of other stuff – Street signs are posted on the sides of the buildings on the corner – When crossing the street, if you look down it will tell you which direction to look for oncoming traffic – Also when crossing the street, the "walk" signal will start blinking instead of the "don't walk" signal to tell you better hurry up.   Hey, in France and Belgium there's no blinking signal at all.   They also install their locks upside down.

Finally, I have both a confession and a request to make.   Confession – I'm the only person in DC that I know who is interested in watching PPVs.   My friends who are smart fans live in New York and all the casual fans I know are strictly "Raw, maybe SmackDown, and you can talk me into cheap seats at a live show" types.   Since it's way beyond my budget to order the PPVs myself, here comes the request.  

Request – If you live in the DC area (preferably by a Metro stop), regularly get together with a group of reasonably normal people (a group means 5 bucks apiece not including snacks) to watch "Big 5" PPVs, and would consider 26 to be within the age range of people you hang out with, I'd love to be invited along.   Drop me a line if you're interested.

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