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SQUARED CIRCLE JERK
The Last Jerk in the World...
July 23, 2002

by Lee Filas
Exclusive to OnlineOnslaught.com

 

Let’s just say that this originally started out as a joke.

When I "quit" last week, I sent Rick a message along with my column that said "Don’t worry Rick, I’m not quitting. I’m just doing this to make a point. I’ll be back next week."

Little did I know the reaction I would get.

First off, let me say that this wasn’t a designed thing between CRZ and myself. In fact, it was never discussed – I have never, ever, talked to the man – and I never knew what he was planning. I also can say with certainty that he had no idea what I was planning. So, therefore (And Eli, this is specifically directed at you) neither of us are the so-called "poser" you have tried to label us as. We simply are a couple of guys - who do not get paid - spending some hard-earned quality time in front of a computer using the Internet and Online Onslaught as an outlet for some creative writing.

That’s all the SCJ was for me. It was a creative outlet. It was a way for me to enjoy wrestling even more. It was designed to be fun.

But, it’s not fun anymore. As the old saying goes: a few "bad apples" spoil the bunch. One was mentioned above, a few more are out there on the message boards while 10 others are sitting in my e-mail box.

The handful of people I am speaking about, and their ability to take something called sports entertainment and raise it to a new level of lunacy, is absolutely perplexing. I mean, this is a television show set up to entertain people. I was one of those people who were entertained by the dynamic of it. I was so entertained that I offered the precious few hours I have as free time every week to create an online wrestling column. In fact, I enjoyed the hell out of Raw for the first time in three months last night, and I was all set to give the show an 8 or a 9 on the scale.

While I was also entertained by the show, I knew that my adulation would be hard pressed to come up with a decent column this week. The reason being because I knew that I would have to write another SCJ on Tuesday morning and, by Thursday, I would have to deal with one or two assholes like Eli. I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t handle that any longer. Eli and the others are a plague on the industry: guys with no lives who spend countless hours degrading others for doing what they love to do.

Now, I know what this ass will be saying when he reads this. "Lee, you do the same thing in your columns about wrestling." And, contrary to what he may think, I will agree to it in some aspect.

Sure, I quipped about things in my column like mullets. I made fun of Tough Enough’s Jackie and Trish Stratus for having a God-awful match. I harassed X-Fuck and called Jazz "Big Bitch." However, realize one thing, they are paid more money in one night than I do all year all for the purpose of entertaining the masses. For the money they make, they should be able to put up with a guy like me telling them that they sucked for 10 minutes of their life.

However, some people didn’t take it that way. Some people – Eli, specifically - thought that I was a punching bag who deserved to be treated like garbage, despite never once receiving a dime for the service that I provided here. It’s pretty pathetic really. In Eli, you have a guy who is probably in his late 30’s or early 40’s – who still lives in the basement of his mother’s house. He’s also a guy with nothing better to do than to pick fights with other nameless people on a message board. He’s a guy whose one claim to fame is that he pissed off one columnist enough to make him walk away.

It’s guys like Eli – or these messages that I find really perplexing:

From the Bag O’ Hate:

From Timmy:

See ya dickbag. Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

Or, how about this one….

From Michael:

Pussy.

It’s just retarded. It’s just a frickin’ column. If you don’t like it, then turn the page and read something else on Online Onslaught. Or – hell – the Internet has 3 billion other sites to choose from. Pick something else – whether it is ESPN or Dave’s Porn Hut - to read and move on. Don’t be a complete DICK and send hate mail to a guy who spent four hours on a computer – starting at 6:30 AM on a Tuesday no less – to put out a column that other people actually enjoy.

I mean – who the fuck are you people? The news that SCJ closed down – coupled with CRZ turning his site to black – sent people scrambling to the message boards. Those same people spent 15 minutes typing in shit about how we are the biggest assholes in the world because we decided – at the same time no less – to not do the things we are not getting paid to do?

It never has bothered me that we didn’t get paid. I knew ahead of time that this was a volunteer thing walking in, and I was glad to do it. However, after a while, the hate mail – especially after what happened last week – made it so it wasn’t worth it anymore. It’s what chased off Eitan – and it’s what is chasing me off now. It’s not worth working on something especially knowing that I have to put up with the crap that is going to come from the handful of assholes that have nothing better to do with their time.

A buddy of mine – a guy named John who works at the same newspaper I do – asked me last Wednesday if I had enough yet. I told him that I couldn’t believe the crappy reaction that I got from some of the people out there…and I still can’t believe that I am getting a reaction like this for busting my ass to entertain the masses. It’s insulting, really.

So, to Rick – I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to write for OO. It was one wild year – and despite what I wrote above – I really enjoyed it most of the time.

And, to the people who wrote in that enjoyed SCJ – and especially asked me to stay AFTER they thought that I really quit last week – I appreciate you guys taking the time to write to me and try to make this whole thing worth while.

However, to the assholes that have spent countless hours wasting the important time of people around the globe with the putrid sludge that spews forth onto the message boards and into my e-mail box, realize this: You are truly destroying something that most people enjoy. You are like entertainment terrorists…and, honestly, I hope each and every single one of you rot in hell for helping to kill an industry that I grew up loving and have continued to love throughout my adult life.

And, Eli, while you sit there and think that you have gotten the best of me and caused me to walk away – realize that it is not true. See, I will continue to enjoy sports entertainment and will continue to watch wrestling whenever I can. I’ll just do it away from the likes of you.

So, in the end, I am truly the winner because I never – ever – have to deal with your ass again.

Eli, and the rest of the bastards that I didn’t have the inclination to mention, you people are the true Bischoff’s of sports entertainment.

Ta-ta.

 

E-MAIL LEE FILAS
BROWSE THE SQUARED CIRCLE JERK ARCHIVES

Lee Filas is a 32-year-old newspaper reporter and wrestling fan from the Chicago-land Area.


 
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